Archive for the ‘Libra’ Category

Uranus-Eris II+

June 10, 2016

As is often the case, our Chief Asteroid Officer noticed something I missed.  Our second layer of the Eris-Uranus Initiation horrorscope, the one where The Most Important Things are…

  • Embracing Confusion
  • Respect for All Things
  • Being Willing to Stretch
  • Staying Alert for Habits that no longer Serve

(see the previous post), and of course one that applies to the rest of the Century, stays lit up a bit longer.

To whit…

(1)  On 11 June we’re likely to be asked to Stretch a bit more.

(2)  Expect Confusion to remain Strong till 13 June – Embrace it, Wallow in it, don’t try to Change it.

I knocked over a full glass of Water today – twice.  Not wanting to think my Confusion was due to a TIA, I figured I must be Regressed to infancy, to a time before I knew that those wiggly things, on the end of that pink stick-like thing that keeps waving around randomly, were “my” fingers.

Once our CAO enlightened me, I knew instantly that it was a Poltergeist.  We create Poltergeists (seemingly independent actions by Material objects) by thoroughly Repressing an Emotion.  We do everything we can to Avoid some Emotions (like Confusion, often); bringing those into our Embrace will Expand our Emotional range and Open our Awareness to new Blessings.

But we don’t even know we’re Avoiding the Emotions that we’ve thoroughly Repressed.  Those are the Held Emotions that prevent our Awareness of the Lost Skills that are hiding behind our Karmic Limiting Beliefs – the ones that are Unconscious.  Recovering those is a Treasure bigger than Smaug’s, as we won’t achieve our Mission without them.

So be Mindful of anything unusual happening this weekend, especially if Water is involved.  What’s your immediate Reaction to it?  Mine was Irritation.    Call up that Feeling, then PIAVA “I Wonder what that was all about.”

(3)  Through 14 June, be prepared for major Breakthroughs in Innovation and Creativity.  If there’s a major project or hassle you’re working on… 

  • PIAVA a huge leap forward on 10 or 11 June (don’t be too specific, so you can be surprised),
  • Change the Subject on 12 and 13 June, then
  • Pay Attention on 14 June.

Good chance there’s a connection between (2) and (3) – and (1) as well.  In fact it would be surprising if there wasn’t.  What if I was able to Revert an Unconscious Limiting Belief that was installed before I was even Aware of my Physicality, let alone Verbal.  That would have a monumental impact on my Life.  It’s very difficult to approach preverbal Trauma for Healing, because the organization of our Worldview is so organized around our Languaging.

 

The Astrology

(1)  The Moon lights up Jupiter and the North Node for about eight hours starting around 8am PDT on 11 June.

(2)  Neptune (Material Confusion, Spiritual Clarity, and our Relationship to anything larger than ourself, Emotion, Water), which Squares Saturn and Vesta while Opposing Jupiter and hanging out near the South Node, is Stationary, turning Retrograde around 2pm PDT on 13 June.

(3)  The dwarf planet Makemake (Manifestation) is Standing Still and Waxing Quintile to Saturn.  The Station occurs around 7am PDT 14 June.  The Insights will probably be most Fruitful between the Neptune and Makemake Stations, though the Moon crosses the Stationary Makemake at around 7pm PDT on 12 June.  The current Saturn-Makemake Cycle began in mid-September 2009 in 26 Virgo, a Degree devoted to Learning new, potentially Life-Changing Rituals.

It’s very significant when a Station makes few Angles with other planets.  Besides the Saturn Quintile, the only other close Angle that Makemake makes is a Waxing Unx (one Sign) by Lilith.  The Lilith-Makemake Cycle began at the end of last August, in the same 1 Libra as Makemake’s current Station – virtually the same arcminute!  The Moon crosses Lilith around noon PDT on 15 June.

Libra 1 is about how Observation Stops The Flow.  It’s an apparent fact of Quantum Physics – the Future (or even the Present) is indeterminate until it is Observed.  It’s interesting that 1 Aries, the beginning of the Personal half of the Zodiac, is about Discrete Form emerging from the Background Matrix (ie, Consciousness), while the beginning of the Relational half of the Zodiac is about The Flow, or The Zone, or Time.

Yindependence (Lilith) is of course about The Flow, about Staying in the Present Moment, Staying Present.  Being Here Now, as Ram Dass puts it.  And it’s appropriate that the Relational half of the Zodiac should begin with Yin and the Feminine.  Libra, like Aries, is a Dynamic or Masculine Sign, but it begins with the Yin.  And the Form that is Manifesting at 1 Aries is the Female form.  Like the Dao, or Taijitu, Duality Unfolding from Unity, or Duality Stopping The Flow.

The Unx Angle (one twelfth of the Zodiac) is about Changing Patterns.  Manifesting Yin by Changing Patterns to Cease Stopping the Flow.  This is getting Deep.  And of course, whatever minor or major Trauma befell me as a Newborn (which would be a Mirror for Past-Life Trauma), would have Created an Observer – Manifested Consciousness – and Stopped the Flow.  Changing Patterns – I think that’s a Stephen Stills song.  

“Stop, children, what’s that sound?
Everybody look what’s going down.”

Back to the Ouija Board ’60s!

21.5.16 Full Moon II

May 19, 2016

 

Our Chief Asteroid Officer points out that Astraea (the fifth asteroid discovered after Ceres, Pallas, Juno, and Vesta) completes the Grand Cross with the Full Moon.  Astraea is about Innocence, and she’s right at home in early Virgo.  

We can think of Virgoan innocence as “Who, me?” in the sense that when your best friend Lovingly accuses you of hiding behind a Mask (when you actually are), and you naturally and innocently reply “Who, me?”  Not that your friend would ever be dumb enough to try to label someone else’s Masks; it’s just a metaphor to explain Virgo’s function.  

Leo is where the Ego’s Self-Confidence peaks, Libra is where it meets Other, which means that all bets on Self-Confidence are up for grabs.  Virgo is in charge of the Transition.  If Virgo is the palm, Pisces is the back of the hand.  Aquarius is where the Ego’s Confidence in Community peaks, Aries is where it meets brand new territory so success will only follow from “Don’t-Know” mind.  Pisces is in charge of that Transition.

At the Full Moon we have dwarf planets Opposite one another that are both Stationary (Strong) early in this Virgo-Pisces Ego-Transition, from having a fair degree of Certainty and Comfort, to becoming a complete newbie again.  With Astraea asking, “Who, Me?”  Or as a reader says…

“Kaboom, JUST connected.  I’m wiggin’ out because I hold this perspective & perception that EVERYTHING IS A TRADE OFF.  OMG – THAT belief?  I was completely indoctrinated into THAT.  Hugo mungo either/or thinking.  I never saw the depth of this trade-off perspective and never connected it to The Grand Either/Or that permeates so much.  That they are one and the same.”

I could tell similar stories about my own Epiphanies, but this stuff moves so fast, and the nature of this Edge between Consciousness and the Unconscious is so ephemeral, that I can’t keep track from day to day of what my Psyche is doing.  I just know it’s moving through Heavy territory and making it’s own connections.  

How old was I when they had to sew my tongue back on because I bit it almost off jumping off a couch while horseplaying with my sibs?  Three?  Of course that wouldn’t have triggered my Abandonment because my father had to spend money he didn’t have.  And of course that wouldn’t have anything to do with my allergy to hospitals and my recent experience of them.  

Without knowing what but knowing it was Heavy, I used to literally paint that picture when I was in high school, the scene from the neighbor’s car, looking out over the river in the darkness.  I obviously wasn’t in my Body.  Shortly after that we moved to the downriver side of the hospital, and it took me a long time to figure out why in this picture I was looking down river.

Another reader, born during the height of the original Ouija-Board Pluto-Uranus Initiation, recommended Bill Plotkin’s Wild Mind to me.  Here are some excerpts about our Masks…

“The grave problem with having made such a pact in childhood is that, once adopted, it becomes a bedrock layer of our personalities.  Achieving liberation from our Loyal Soldier survival strategies is one of the most challenging and long-lasting tasks of the individuation process, requiring a good deal of courage, discernment, and endurance even into genuine adulthood and elderhood.” (p.133)

His pact, or Oath, is our response to our need to protect our child self from likely-fatal Abandonment by our Family or Community.  The dwarf planet Orcus, which symbolizes these Oaths, is Stationary only a few degrees from Astraea.  It’s handy, having Astraea’s Innocence there, allowing us more Empathy for the pickle that our historical tykes found themselves in.  That allows us to slap our forehead with an OMG, instead of the “How stupid can we be?” that we might otherwise greet ourself with while opening these doors.

The Pisces side of this equation features the dwarf planet OR10 – also Stationary – and the Centaur Nessus.  OR10 is about irruption of material from the Unconscious – including sudden Epiphanies.  Nessus is about Privilege and Abuse.  And all this is in the context of having Mars (Action, Anger) Oppose Vesta (Limiting Unconscious Beliefs) less than a Degree from the Full Moon axis.  All preparation for June’s Eris-Uranus (Embracing the Previously Denied) – the cosmic choreography is quite amazing.

Plotkin continues…

“Our juvenile survival strategies of self-diminishment form the core of our most self-defeating patterns: those that disparage our dreams, our potentials, and our healthy wildness, or that aggravate low self-esteem and troubles with intimacy.  And, most irksome, these strategies are often on autopilot, launched outside our awareness and without our consent or control.”

Conspiring to hold our Unique Genius in its Orphanage – or as we bring them into Consciousness, to Set it Free, as Ixion (Genius) Trines (Grace) Eris-Uranus.

More Masks from Plotkin (p.157)…

Not all of our Wounded Children are trying to help us survive.  Some are simply casualties of our other [Masks] or of the unkind actions of others.  These are our Outcasts, elements of our psyches we rejected in order to survive, in order to be accepted by others.

“These are the versions of ourselves of which we are ashamed – perhaps our gentleness or our fierceness, our sexuality, our anger or sadness, our fear or embarrassment, our love of dance or poetry, our joy or vivaciousness, or our need for touch or compassion.  Once we reject these Wounded Children and label them bad or worthless, they exist in a marginal, banished state within our psyches.  Nonetheless, we live every day with some awareness of their pain and heartache.

“For children, conscious self-rejection is less harmful than being rejected by others, even if it’s no less painful.  By restraining ourselves from acting in ways that lead to being shamed, we’re less likely to be abandoned.  The price we pay is self-shaming, resulting in Outcasts within us we’re not willing to love, who we’ve neglected and exiled.  

“Although our Outcasts persist as pockets of pain within us, they embody great gifts – strengths and sensibilities not deemed worthy by others in our early lives, but gifts we can reclaim when we’re psychologically ready to do so.  The reclamation process usually begins with grief.  We must mourn our psychological woundings by others, our consequent self-woundings, and the loss of joy, aliveness, and relationships that resulted from all our self-diminishments.”

And again (pp.186-7)…

“We’re all in recovery from Western civilization.  Sooner or later, we each must address the paramount addiction in the Western and Westernized worlds: our psychological dependence on the worldview and lifestyle of Western civilization itself.  The Western worldview says, in essence, that technological progress is the highest value, and that we were born to consume, to endlessly use and discard natural resources, other species, techno-gadgets, toys, and often, other people, especially if they’re poor or from the global South.

“It’s a world of commodities, not entities, of consumers, not human beings, and economic expansion is the primary measure of progress.  Profits are valued over people, money over meaning, our national entitlement over global peace and justice, ‘us’ over ‘them.’  This addiction to Western civilization – especially now that the Chinese, too, are hooked – is by far the most dangerous one in the world because of how rapidly and extensively it’s undermining the natural systems of the Earth.

“Addiction to Western civilization keeps us from seeing and feeling the staggering price all Earthly life pays for our consumer habit.  And it protects us from having to make any radical changes in lifestyle, or from having to grow up, leave the ‘home’ of our adolescent comforts, and embark on the hazardous journey of initiation that leads to an existence that’s life enhancing, meaningful. and fulfilling.”

Pp.208-210…

“The Shadow, one of the archetypes identified by psychologist Carl Jung, is composed of those elements of our own psyches that are unknown to us … the Shadow is not what we know about ourselves, don’t like, and keep hidden.  Rather, the Shadow is what is true about us that we don’t know – don’t know at all – and, if accused of it, would adamantly and sincerely deny.”

“Who, Me?”

“The purpose of the Shadow is to protect us from enacting personal characteristics that, if expressed, might land us in big trouble with others or ourselves.  We stuff these forbidden parts of ourselves in a corner of our psyches where we can’t find them, where we can ‘fail to notice’ them.”

“The Shadow is what our psyches repress (render unconscious), not what our Egos suppress (consciously hide from others). … This is difficult to accept and digest – that there are aspects or parts of ourselves we really don’t know and that are completely at odds with who we think we are.  

“Even when our other [Masks] act unconsciously (independently of our Egos), we know them by how they affect our lives, thoughts, and deeds.  Perhaps we don’t acknowledge them to others, but we do know them.  Not so for the elements of the Shadow.  The Shadow is always unconscious.”

Ah yes, dwarf planet Chaos (Unlimited Potential), Sextile (Grace after we initiate) to Eris-Uranus.  Thank goodness there’s always More.

Fateful Full Moon

April 20, 2016

There are three big themes to the 21 April Full Moon (10:30pm PDT) – Transitions, Fate, and Truth.

  • Transitions because the Full Moon occurs on a Cusp between two Signs – a place of Change, Transformation, often Contradistinction.
  • Fate because the asteroid Moira – Fate – Motivates (T-Squares) it.  Fate and Free Will are of course a Duality, an Either/Or, an Intellectualization.  Real Life is Both/And.  How can anything be Both/And when they’re Opposites? Well, if that’s upsetting to you, the answer is in your hand – you’ve shifted into Emotion – Cusps again, the Cusps between modalities of Perception.  You could also have shifted into Body or Spirit.  Either/Or is a characteristic of mind, and though we’re trained to Believe that mind is bigger than the Universe, in Real Life the Universe is much bigger than mind.
  • Truth because both of the Truth asteroids – Aletheia (Greek) and Veritas (Roman) adjoin the Sun.  Which brings us back to the larger theme of Removing our Masks.

Let’s focus on the Cusps…

  • The Moon itself is on the Cusp of Scorpio.  Here we Change from intellectually and Creatively contemplating the new-found concept of Other (Not-I, including Other People), to intense Emotional Curiosity about Other.  Does Other really exist, or is that just a Mirror?  Does the Other Side really exist, or is it just a Projection?
  • The Sun is on the Cusp of Taurus, along with the asteroids Aletheia, Veritas, and Atropos.  Atropos is Responsible for enforcing the measure of length of Life – another form of Truth.  At the Cusp of Taurus we shift from Making Things Up, to Casting them in Stone.  The Edge between what may or may not be Fantasy, and what the Muggles would consider “Real.”  Natural-born Chemists think it’s Matter that’s Real, while natural-born Physicists know that it’s Energy that’s Real.  Yes, I do take sides, though of course it’s Both/And.
  • The asteroid Moira – Fate – sits on the Cusp of Aquarius, as do we.  Sit on the Cusp of the Age of Aquarius I mean.  Here we move from hard-nosed down-to-Earth Pragmatism, to Idealism, or Idolatry.  Notice anybody worshipping Sacred Cows or Golden Calfs?  Such as Power, or Profit?

All together eight of the twelve Cusps are involved in the Full Moon.  If we’re worried that our Fate is to contemplate Truth and Compassion (if Other is a Mirror, we better find Compassion!), the other five Cusps each provide alternate paths that are easier than that one.

  • Our first Escape Route is the Cusp of Capricorn (where reside the dwarf planets Quaoar and Hylonome), where we Change from Letting Go of difficulties, to actually having to try to Resolve them.  (Quaoar-Hylonome tells us that if we want to Survive, we need to Molt, shed our old Ego and Open Up to the new.)
  • The Cusp of Pisces is our second path to higher ground.  Here we’re fairly rudely dumped from drinking beer and discussing grand schemes for solving the problems created by the existence of Other, to having to Feel the Realities that arise because of the existence of Other.  (On this Cusp we find the asteroids Pallas and Lachesis, and the dwarf planets OR10 and Nessus, reminders that a Life in the realm of Matter is a Privilege and a Deep Mystery, and one which has well-defined Boundaries.)

The last three Cusps are about Curiosity (Quincunxes to the Sun or Moon).

  • The asteroids Ceres (Sustainability) and Mnemosyne (Memory) decorate the Cusp of Aries.  Buddhists say that if you immerse yourself in the Water (Emotion), you’ll come out in the Fire (Spirit), and this is the place where you’ll come out.  I Wonder where these Memories will lead me.
  • The asteroid Karma is parked on the Cusp of Gemini.  On this Cusp we go from being Trapped in Stone, to being Liberated, free to walk around and Be whomever we want to Be.  I Wonder how we could ever find a more perfect place for Karma.
  • Finally, the Cusp of Libra is where we find the dwarf planet Makemake (Manifestation).  At the Cusp of Libra we’ve just finished an unpleasant-feeling period of Ego Transformations, and we’re ready to test our new Selves out on Other People.  I Wonder how I’ll be received.

Adventures in Consciousness!

Who Have I Become?

December 25, 2015

That’s today’s question, with Uranus Stationary and turning Direct at 8pm PST ( http://www.jbuss.com/tt/pst20.htm ) on 25 December.  We’ve been wrestling with all manner of Demons and Daemons, most of which have proven to be imaginary (which unfortunately makes them no less profound), for the last many months.  We’ve only had time to deal with each Present Moment as it has passed, as Change has tumbled down upon us and we’ve struggled to find the Means and the Courage to Change what we know we must, the Serenity to Accept what we don’t seem to be able to Change, and the Wisdom to figure out which is which without totally burning ourselves out.  Now we come up for air, and we’re met with this Big Question, 

Who Have I Become? 

We’ve Changed, and now we get a week to figure out how, to figure out Who We’ve Become!

Uranus turned Retrograde in late July, backing over 21-17 Aries.  If you have any natal planets in 17-21 of the Cardinal Signs (Aries, Cancer, Libra, Capricorn), your Uranus Can-Opener occurred in April-to-July, and Exposition in August-to-December; your Confidence-Builder is scheduled for January-March 2016.  Those natal planets will tell you a lot about Who You’ve Become.  17-21 is the Scorpio Duad of Aries; we’ll have been adding embellishments to Version 3.1 of our Lifetime Creation, and Diving Deep to locate obstacles to its progress. 

  Φ    Φ    Φ    Φ    Φ    Φ    Φ  

For the last year our noses have been rubbed in Sustainability and Sustenance.  As of this morning, that pulse is finished, and won’t return until mid-2017.  Let’s hope the efforts to stem Climate Change, such as they are, won’t stall out in the interim.  

Dwarf planet Ceres (Sustainability) has been Out of Bounds (Strong) since just after Christmas of 2014.  It’s now back In Bounds until July-through-mid-September 2017.  Even if it’s less pronounced for the next year and a half, it was still Rising (Coming into Awareness) everywhere on the Planet on 1/1/2000, making it the bellwringer for the Century.

We still expect the second half of this decade to be economically challenging for most folks, so I don’t recommend that we reduce our Attention to Sustainability and its partner Sustenance.  Sustenance – eliminating the unnecessary – is an important part of Sustainability.  Here’s a very nice series of short videos to help us stay on track – on No-Dig, Forest Gardens, Soil Regeneration, Foraging, for instance…

http://www.permaculture.co.uk/living-with-the-land

The Digital Age, with all its disruption and restructuring, doesn’t start in earnest till 2020 (after Saturn next Initiates Jupiter).  Alternative Culture (the Fresh Violets in an Ancient Pottery Bowl Chiron-Neptune Cycle) is still in its infancy, though I hope you’re personally already deep into it.  And the Developed Nations haven’t even begun to dig themselves out of the mess that bloomed in the 2007 Derivatives Crisis – the Megacorps are much Too Bigger to Fail, and the Derivative load (leveraged bets on the outcome of earlier bets, stacked up in a house of cards) is many times larger.  The Lizards successfully blamed the 2007 Crisis on “deadbeat mortgagees” so you wouldn’t notice them transferring unmeasurable wealth from you and your children to themselves, and they’re setting up to blame the next Crisis on “deadbeat carbuyers and students” so they can repeat the process.  

If you haven’t read Naomi Klein’s Shock Doctrine, which explains the Lizards’ methodology very clearly, please do read it so you can explain it to everyone you know; I meet few people who understand how we’re being scammed, and it won’t stop till most people understand it.  They’ll exploit the next big Climate-Crisis storm the same way they exploited New Orleans in 2005.  The oddsmakers, who are much more prescient than the polls or the for-sale media, give Hilary Clinton a 75%-or-so chance of becoming the next President of the US (they give Donald “the T is silent” Trump* and the other Repos about 10%, and Bernie about 4%), which means business as usual for the New (Corporate) World Order.

  Φ    Φ    Φ    Φ    Φ    Φ    Φ  

But, why do we only have a week to figure out Who We’ve Become?  Actually, it doesn’t much matter, because we’ll be someone else entirely by July (after Eris Initiates Uranus), so it’s only a brief moment of Stillness.  Several hours before the New Year here – half past 5pm PST ( http://www.jbuss.com/tt/pst17.htm ) – the dwarf planet Makemake turns Retrograde.  Makemake is about Manifestation, as its name suggests.  So for most of this week we’ll be focused more on 

What Am I Going to Create with (or for) my New Self?

than on Who Have I Become.  You’re probably already mulling this over.  You may not even have stopped to notice how Different you are now than you were six months ago.  It might not be a bad idea to give some Attention to the Who question over the next several days, lest you address the What question from the perspective of your Old Self, if your mind or Emotions haven’t caught up yet.  By Monday or Tuesday, it’d be an excellent time to review your PIAVA techniques…

https://astrobuss.wordpress.com/category/manifestation/piava/

Pick out a few simple short-term Manifestations, something you can create in an hour or so (like finding the shovel you haven’t seen since August), and a few specific PIAVA techniques to practice on.  Then, by Wednesday and Thursday, you’ll be ready for some Big-Time Manifestation Efforts.  You’ll have figured out Who You Are and What You Want Now, and you can go for it.  A planet is at its Strongest when it’s Stationary, so Peak Power runs from now till your equivalent of late afternoon Friday PST.  If you can spend Friday in Meditation, Feeling exactly the way you’re going to Feel once you’ve Manifested that Big Dream, you’ll be Golden.  Stay flexible; this is just one Station of the Tokaido, so don’t lock yourself in.  If you feel like you have to make a Decision, Choose Both/And and let the Universe show you how it can Make a Miracle.

Makemake – which is Out of Bounds – will Retrograde across 3-1 Degrees of Libra, the Libra Duad, Double Libra.  If you have planets in these first degrees of the Cardinal Signs, you’ve been doing the Can-Opener since September.  For instance, on a friend’s recommendation I bought the books Search Inside Yourself by Chade-Meng Tan and The Golem and the Jinni by Helene Wecker, just as Makemake was crossing my early-Libra planet.

This is about Manifesting an entirely new way of relating to other people, even of relating to Other, or Not-I, in general.  Even your Witnessing, your Chironean Empathy process, is a Not-I process, where you’re consciously moving your Assemblage Point, even if only in a small way, to subtly vary Who You Are moment-to-moment.  Your Emotion is still part of You in those moments, but it’s no longer where your Ego is embedded – it becomes Other, even as it remains You.  Lots of potential fun here – you can Witness yourself Witnessing yourself, for instance.  This is not an idle exercise; in an important situation, where exactly you park your Observer can change the Outcome drastically.

There is likely to be more Honesty and less Guile, though we will quickly Learn to be Honest Charmingly.  When the Unexpected pops out of you, don’t try to suppress it or apologize; instead, put your Efforts into Integrating it with the rest of who you Believe yourself to Be.  You’ll probably recognize that these Surprises are more Authentically You than you had intended.  Embrace it and Celebrate the loss of the Masks.

The Makemake Station is Squared by the ongoing Chariklo-Hylonome Conjunction, which is about Grieving the Loss of our former Charm, and/or Enjoying Freedom from an Archetype we’ve been laboring under, Walking in Beauty instead.  It’s Quincunx to 2007 OR10 (the Unexpected that’s really our Deeper Self); it would behoove to “Wonder what’ll happen next!”  It’s Trine Mercury and Sextile Venus, making a tidy little knot between Libra an Pisces.

*Thanks to Carly Fiorini for the nickname.

 

Authenticity and Self-Sovereignty II

September 24, 2015

mntao7133bpNothing beats a Manganotantalite Crystal, if you can find one, for facilitating Communication.

  Ö    Ö    Ö    Ö    Ö 

Pluto, which is Standing Still today (that means it’s influence is much Stronger than usual) represents Transformation.  Since we only see the shadows of “Reality” on our cave wall – which means that the small part of it that our six senses allow us to Witness is filtered through our Limiting Beliefs – we usually spell that “Trance(Re)Formation.”  That is, the Trance that our Limiting Beliefs impose upon us, is up for revision.  Another word we often associate with Pluto is Mandatory or Compulsive.  Shifts promulgated by Pluto are often just that – not optional.  We often perceive them as happening to us rather than something we Created, and since we usually see Pluto as bigger than the Individual, there’s a large grain of Truth there.

There are obviously many many facets and flavors of Ego Death running around, and Pluto qualifies as a trigger for that, though there are multiple other triggers as well.  But what most folks consider the Bigger Transformation is when we Change Vehicles, or Let Go of our current Physical Body.  Here’s a long-time palliative care nurse (that means nursing to the Dying) listing the most frequent Regrets that people have as they’re Letting Go of their Body…

http://bronnieware.com/regrets-of-the-dying/

The most frequent Regret is…

“I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”

That’s the Yintegrity we’ve been talking about for the last several years as we’ve worked through our 2012-15 Uranus-Pluto adventures.  The third-most frequent Regret is…

“I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.”

Which we’ve been talking about in the previous post.  Reading that post, you may well come up against a Dilemma.  If no one is willing to hear them, what to do?  There are only so many Pisces Folk around willing to soak up spilled Emotions, and the more Trance Reformations there are, the more Emotions there are to be spilled.  Trance Reformations are usually introduced by a cataract of suppressed Trauma emerging into Consciousness, which triggers a flood of Present-Moment Emotion in response, and Liberates a tsunami of Fear of an Unknown Future.  That’s the best case!  More often, our internal Protectors try to block the original cataract, which then Manifests as untoward exterior Events, creating more Trauma.  Taking Full Responsibility for mopping all that up is a Herculean task.

A paragraph from Van der Kolk’s The Body Keeps the Score, p.296…

“It is one thing to process memories of trauma, but it is an entirely different thing to confront the inner void – the holes in the soul [or aura] that result from not being wanted, not having been seen, and not having been allowed to speak the truth.  If your parents’ faces never lit up when they looked at  you, it’s hard to know what it feels like to be loved and cherished.  If you come from an incomprehensible world filled with secrecy and fear, it’s almost impossible to find the words to express what you have endured.  If you grew up unwanted and ignored, it is a major challenge to develop a visceral sense of agency and self-worth.”

We begin to see why Change is so dangerous, and we haven’t even considered how often it’s purposely hijacked by the internal and external Lizards to their own advantage – the internal Lizards shift the Energy into long-repressed and over-reactive Anger channels, and the external Lizards use the resulting Confusion to stoke their Greed.

So the Planet is awash in a Biblical flood.  What to do?  The Galactic Center informs us that we just have to Take Full Responsibility to move ourself forward one slog at a time.  If there is no one to hear you Express your Feelings, write or paint or draw them out.  Take time to Listen to music that does Express or trigger your Feelings, Notice what happens in your Body when you do, and be Loving and Gentle with it and with yourself.  Love is All There Is.  No matter how horrible a Feeling can be, if you work at it you can find some Empathy for the part of you that Feels it.  “You Poor Baby, that’s Horrible!” and Embrace that Poor part of you.  Even if you Hate that part of yourself, you may be able to find some Empathy for your Hater.  “You Poor Hater, they really treated you Horribly!” 

One small step toward Loving some orphaned part of ourself.

Just opening the door a crack.  More will follow, but none of it will be as hard as that first small step.

If you are lucky enough to have a Feeling-Expression partner to practice with, you’ll have plenty of Challenges with that too.  Mercury (Communication) is Retrograde in early Libra (Introduction to Other), after all.

Mercury Triple-Crosses Vesta, Juno, and Pluto during this Retrogradation.  We usually refer to a Triple-Crossing as the Can-Opener, the Exposition, and the Confidence-Builder; look up one of those terms in the CATEGORIES list if you’re a new reader.  Vesta (Limiting Beliefs) and Juno (the Edges of Consciousness) are the Star Dancers in this weekend’s Total Eclipse of the Heart.  And we know about Pluto now!  Mercury thrice Conjoins Juno, Opposes Vesta, and Squares Pluto.

And by the way, the Eclipse chart features a Quintile Yod to Mars.  A Quintile Yod says this is what we’re Learning here.  Mars symbolizes Action and Assertiveness; it may be Asking you to tone down certain Reactions where you verge on Power-Over, and it may be Asking you to beef up other Reactions where you allow Others to Power-Over you, and probably both.

So what suggestions can we provide that might make Feeling-Expression a little easier?  Maybe these…

  • When someone succeeds in Expressing a Feeling, and they know that it’s been Heard, they usually don’t need to say a lot more (about that Feeling).  You’ll see a shift in their shoulders or their breathing or the tension in their face.  If they’re intellectualizing their Feelings, they’ll go on and on about them and you’ll never get a word in edgewise.  If you get filibustered and can’t find a way to change it, you may just need a different Feeling-Expression partner.
  • Sometimes it works to ask whether or not you’re Hearing their Feelings correctly; “So it sounds like you might be Angry about the way they treated you?”  If “Angry” is a hot-button word for them they might Hear your question as an accusation, but even if they do, it has the potential to move the exchange from Venting to actual Communication.
  • When is it your turn?  Some people are so tangential with their Feelings, or so backed up, that they have no room to Hear anyone else.  Don’t martyr yourself to try to rescue them; that’s a lose-lose strategy.  When you’re bored listening to them repeat themself, it’s time to change venues.
  • If you can introduce a Talking Stick or a timer, that might help, but you’re better off watching for that deep breath or lowering of the shoulders or relaxing of the face muscles as your cue to hand off the Talking Stick, rather than a timer.  A timer can easily introduce greater Frustration.
  • Be watchful for your own Fears and Protections.  If you get uncomfortable hearing someone Fearfully talking about their Fear or Angrily talking about their Anger, that’s a huge clue for you about what you probably need to Open up to.  If you’re unable to be Present and Neutral for the Other, it’s probably best to change the plot.  Even just saying “Whoa, that scares me!” or “I’m really nervous around Anger; can we detour?” or the like has the potential to create progress.  They may be comfortable enough with their process to be able to stop and be Present for you to talk about what’s coming up for you.  Or you may need to take a break and work on your own with Lovingly and Gently Embracing your own Feelings for a while.
  • Any exchange of Feeling Expression can get lost in the Emotions.  It’s a fabulous way to Notice when you or they (or both) get hijacked by the Emotion and are unable to Witness it from a more Present and Neutral part of the Self.  That’s invaluable Guidance, but your exchange may or may not be able to recover from a hijacking.  Even if you can’t recover the exchange, you can follow the Guidance.

It’s a lot easier to list these things than it is to do them.  Remember that Confusion is the First Sign of Growth and that Curiosity is what gives the Cat nine lives.  If you start to get Overwhelmed, Tap on it.  Use Trial and Success – give it a try, see what worked and honor yourself and your practice partner for it, Gently look to see what might be improved and be Loving and Gentle with your tendency to self-criticize.  If you can do such a post-mortem with your exchange-mate, that’d be very valuable.

The Great Work of Our Time III

September 22, 2015

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Heart-Shaped Eyes ( https://heartshapedeyes.wordpress.com/ ), with a bow of Thanks, leads us to another Perspective on the Great Work of Our Time – toppling Greed and the Patriarchy.  Permaculture can only help us assure that we can eat next year, it won’t burn the shingles to maximize quarterly profits.  Here’s a fabulous anthem for this view of The Work…

https://heartshapedeyes.wordpress.com/2015/09/22/dont-date-a-mystic-by-allison-nappi/ 

Which is the perfect metaphor for our Sun-Juno-Lilith-Makemake-Rahu Stellium and multiple Initiations on the cusp of Libra, aka the Northern Autumn and Southern Spring Equinox, and with both Chaos and Pluto Standing Still.  Not to mention that other Stellium that’s Square to this one.

Rahu is the Hindu name for the North Node or Dragon’s Head; Ketu for the South Node or Dragon’s Tail.

In case you’ve never noticed, Mother Nature is a Mystic.  She’s also a Scorpio.  Scorpio will give you a lot of rope – many chances to show that your lack of Integrity and Responsibility were just oversights not to be repeated – but then, once the rope runs out, Scorpio has no more for you, and there is no turning back.  The end of the rope isn’t tied to the mast.  That was “for a World whose time is over.”  Humans have been dating Mother Nature and thinking of Her as an ATM for a long time now.

August-September VI

August 23, 2015

ruby6124bpRuby, the Essence of Courage, here the Courage to Claim Sovereignty over the Self.

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Thanks to Heart Shaped Eyes ( https://heartshapedeyes.wordpress.com/2015/08/21/women-and-emotional-labor-putting-down-the-weight/ ) for pointing us to Bethany Webster’s illuminating blog post on Emotional Labor

http://womboflight.com/2015/08/21/women-and-emotional-labor-putting-down-the-weight/

In addition to the Exposition of our “Comedy of Human Nature” Relationship Initiation, we’re also at a major turning point around our Yindependence, and Bethany’s post does an excellent job of exploring the implications of Yindependence, Yintegrity, and the Responsibility issues we’ve been writing about and which will be increasingly prominent as we move into September.

I’m seeing lots of Attention devoted to Jupiter moving into Virgo, Saturn moving into Sagittarius, Eclipses, and the Stations of the Inner Planets, and while those astroevents have important meanings, I haven’t seen anyone writing about the Makemake-North Node-Lilith triple Initiation that’s coming up in September…

  • Makemake Initiates Lilith, 1 September
  • North Node Initiates Lilith, 8 September
  • Makemake Initiates North Node, 16 September

All of which occurs at 2 Libra, “The transmutation of the fruits of past experiences into the seed-realizations of the forever creative spirit.”  The Cusp of Libra is also about moving from Self-Focus to Other-Focus.  The Lilith Cycles run seven to nine years, the North Node-Makemake Cycle about 19 years.

The dwarf planet Makemake was named after the Rapa Nui God who rescued the people of Easter Island after their island lost its Trees.  Makemake taught them, for instance, to plant on the lee side of Rocks, as the Rock would harvest Water from Fog.  Makemake’s discovery chart is all about Creative Manifestation.  The North Node represents the direction of our travel.  Not the destination, but the direction.  And Lilith represents Self-Sovereignty.

The Lilith-Makemake Cycle that we’re completing began in late November 2008 at 26 Virgo, “A boy with a censer serves the priest near the altar.

Significant Change does not occur while we are in Judgment about the processes we would like to see Changed.  Change occurs rapidly after we Acknowledge our old Patterns for the Value they provided.  It’s worth repeating.

Significant Change does not occur while we are in Judgment about the processes we would like to see Changed.  Change occurs rapidly after we Acknowledge the old Patterns for the Value they provided. 

What Value might our Self-Sovereignty have claimed from Learning obeisance to rigidly defined and rigidly hierarchical protocols? 

Yes, there’s the notion of getting very clear about what we don’t Want.  And the notion that, now that we clearly understand, from the inside, how the old obeisance works, we are much better prepared to reject the seductive practices of those who would steal our Power. 

Can you think of – or Feel – other Values your Self-Sovereignty may have claimed over the last seven years?

Whatever the shape of that intelligence, we’ve now harvested it, and the next decade is about putting it to work.

More September to follow…

Portals 1.7.15 and 5.7.15 – Self-Love?

June 26, 2015

krk14Who else but Richard Brautigan.

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Gay Hendricks has a concept called “Upper Limits,” where, if you start Enjoying Life more than your Limiting Beliefs would like you to, you self-sabotage.  His suggested response is that, when we get into new Enjoyment territory, we slow down, take it easy, rest a lot, pay attention to our physical requirements like food and water, and give ourselves time to Integrate.  If we start slowing down when we get Excited, rather than waiting till we self-sabotage, we may be able to avoid the sabotage entirely.  Not to back away from the Excitement and Enjoyment, just to mellow into it. 

Anybody hitting a wall here?  Or sailing high? 

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The fastest corner of our Almost-Grand-Sextile is Jupiter, so it will stretch at least through the first ten days of July.  The corners are Uranus-Eris, Chaos, Venus-Jupiter, Haumea, Pholus-Ixion, and the “Nursery Rug” Vacancy, “so the children can play in comfort and warmth.”

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Jupiter Initiates Venus at 1am PDT ( http://www.jbuss.com/tt/pdt1.htm ) on 1 July in 22 Leo, “A carrier pigeon fulfilling its mission.”

We can read Venus-Jupiter as Self-Love.  Or alternately, especially considering the other players in the Grand Sextile, Healing any lack of Self-Love.

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Haumea is Stationary, and on 5 July it turns Direct in 21 Libra, at half-past 2am PDT ( http://www.jbuss.com/tt/pdt2.htm ).  This isn’t Haumea’s first venture in the Gemini Duad of Libra – that started in December 2012 – but this Shadow Period pretty well spans the Gemini Duad, which begins the Gemini Decanate.

The Shadow Period is the time, and Zodiacal space, that a Retrogradation takes, including the planet’s first crossing the space before it goes Retrograde, and then traversing the space for the third time after it goes Direct.  Suppose a Retrogradation covers 21-23 Libra.  That’s the Shadow Period in space.  The Shadow Period in time begins when the planet first gets to 21 Libra, before the Retrograde Station, and ends when it clears 23 Libra for the second time, after it has gone Retrograde and then gone Direct again.  So while a Retrogradation might cover a month, the Shadow Period will be closer to three months.

Haumea itself is about Rebirth.  As Pele’s daughter, Haumea is red hot and very raw.  We want to give her lots of space, so she can cool off and congeal.  We can map Haumea through the Libra Decanates…

  • Libra Decanate of Libra – Rebirth into Meeting Other – 1995 to 2005
  • Aquarius Decanate of Libra – Rebirth into Community – 2005 to 2015
  • Gemini Decanate of Libra – Rebirth into Experimental Uses of Community

Haumea began this Shadow Period in October 2014, and turned Retrograde in January 2015.  So we’ve had two iterations of this exercise, and now we’ll put the finishing touches onto what we’ve learned.

A critical issue has been how much we’re willing to compromise our Yintegrity for the sake of Community.  Or alternatively, how much we’re willing to risk Community for the sake of our Yintegrity.  Ideally, Community and Yintegrity would be mutually supportive, Win-Win.  How many of us are close to that?  We might think of it as testing our Community.

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The other three corners here are not slouches.

Pholus-Ixion is about how much Responsibility we take, how much Power we take (for good or ill), how much Privilege we demand, how much Abuse we take, how much Consciousness we maintain.  Lots of interaction terms between these parameters, Self-Love, and Rebirth in Community.

Chaos is about Unlimited Potential.  We’re Co-Creating a New Planet here.  Where are the Edges between our Demands and our Requests as we negotiate the Boundaries?  As we dance between Yintegrity and Community, why aren’t we Demanding everything we Want?

Uranus-Eris is about clearing away additional layers of Denial so that our Yintegrity deepens by leaps and bounds.  If our Community doesn’t support our Yintegrity, our Community will get the short end of the stick.

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Then there’s the Vacancy.  It says…

Remember Upper Limits?  Take darn good care of yourSelf, your physical vehicle, and your Inner Child as you move through all of these Rebirths.  Your skin – physical and Identity – will feel molten for a while, and you want to give it time to solidify before the next wave hits.  If you can!  Be very gentle with yourself for the next several weeks “so the children can play in comfort and warmth.”

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Then there’s the Grand Cross: Chaos, Pholus-Ixion, Chiron, and Lilith, though Lilith moves out of the Grand Cross by early July, leaving just the Chiron T-Square, and Finger of God from Venus-Jupiter and Haumea – an extremely Powerful Chiron Diamond Star in other words.

Without the Yod, we’d have Chiron Square to Chaos and Pholus-Ixion…

Miracles without Limit, if we can overcome a wad of Self-Doubt – Am I taking too much?

With the Yod, we have that “bowl of Grace” under the Opposition between Chaos’s Unlimited Potential and Pholus-Ixion’s Healing of Self-Doubt.  And the bowl of Grace is formed by the two most powerful players in the chart, Venus-Jupiter and Haumea…

Rebirth into Self-Love is available if we’re willing to make the shift to Miracles.  How to do that?  Empathize with yourself while you Feel your Self-Doubt.  Do it as many times as it takes.  Step outside your Feelings and look back in at the part of you that’s overwhelmed by those Feelings.  Look back lovingly.  How old is that Abandoned part of you?  Hold their hand.  Let them know that it’s okay for them to Feel everything they Feel.  Show them that you Love them no matter what. 

Self-Rejection is the deepest part of anyone’s Karma.  It’s a contest between how many times you fall down and how many times you get up.  Tap if it will help, and use your PIAVAs.  But the critical part is who outlasts the other – will your Self-Rejection overcome your Self-Love, or will your Self-Love endure longer than your Self-Hate?  Like pushups, this is about “reps” – be Loving with your worst Self-Rejection, over and over again, till it gets so easy that it’s automatic.  That’s how we build new, “good” Karma – reps.

The Rest of May

May 27, 2014

topazolite2543bpNew ways of thinking lurking under cover.  Topazolite is the Yellow form of Andradite, a Calcium-Iron Garnet (Garnet is a family of minerals).

Before we get to the foreground, we don’t want to forget the two big ongoing events in the background.  First, our “dumb-luck” Grace continues through the end of May, and second, our Yintegrity work is temporarily winding down a little after a huge peak in April – though there’s some debriefing to do in mid-June.

The foreground also holds two significant events.  We don’t usually put “structure” and “Unconscious” in the same sentence, but that’s what’s happening here, as over the last two and a half years the Dissonance has increased between how we structure our view of Reality, and the “actual” Reality (such as it is) that we keep bumping into.  Dissonance between who we believe ourselves to be (individually and as part of a number of collectives) and how we see ourselves and our Communities acting and speaking, reveals critically important information about our Unconscious Beliefs – it betrays our Denial.  Dissonance represents a fabulous opportunity for Growth in Consciousness.

It’s a crossroads of sorts.  If we’ve been adjusting our sense of self and our sense of belonging as the Dissonance developed, particularly over the last year, then we’re at the point where we can take a fourth-step inventory of the other parts of our Life to see what physical Changes we want to make to integrate our Consciousness Changes.  But if we’ve let the Dissonance build up, without adjusting our self-concepts and our memberships along the way, then we have remedial work to do on our Identity.  Maybe we knew someone at UCSB, and our NRA membership is starting to give us second thoughts – that sort of thing.  Or maybe you aren’t taking enough time to be Consciously Grateful for the services that the Bees provide to us, even though you’ve noticed that the Energy Exchange between your two species is very unequal, perhaps fatally so for both of us.

The other big foreground event is about your Beliefs per se, and how Sustainable they are.  It’s very complementary to the first foreground event, but a little different.  The first event is about the Edges of your Consciousness and how ragged they are; this second one is about how you have to shuffle your deepest Beliefs in order to find the motivation to either keep on keepin’ on, or make some pretty serious changes in your Lifestyle to maintain your sense of internal harmony. 

In the first case you might be learning a lot of new things, and either anxious or excited about putting them to work.  In the second case you might be finding that many of your assumptions about Humanity or God or “those people” are actually dead wrong, and scrambling to figure out how to rebuild your Reality so it doesn’t sabotage you so much.

I’m splitting hairs here, since we’re going to be grokking them both as one set of Experiences.  Remember that part of the Big Grace in the background is the availability of Miracles.  To get to Miracles you have to change the way you think.  Not what you think about, but the way you think about what you think about.  How the devil do we do that? 

With PIAVA.  The most important part is Changing the Subject after you PIAVA.  What to PIAVA isn’t so hard – just Ask or Pray for something you want a lot but that’s not possible.  And don’t forget to Pay Attention after you Change the Subject.  Wait a while between the two steps, though, otherwise you won’t really be Changing the Subject.  Maybe keep a journal, do your PIAVAs on Tuesdays, then forget about them, but check back on Saturday to see what happened.  You’ll probably need to stretch (that is, Change the way you think) in order to find connections between your Prayers and whatever transpired while your Attention was elsewhere.

The first Portal is open for several days on either side of May 28, with the several days prior to May 28 likely to be stronger.  The second Portal has two peaks, one on May 27, and the other on June 1, with the window first opening around mid-May.

In the background, April’s chronologically intense Uranus-Pluto-Jupiter-Mars Grand Cross

The individual Squares and Oppositions in the Grand Cross were exact at almost the same time, hence “chronologically intense.”

has faded, as has the followup Uranus-Jupiter-Vesta T-Square.  We started this Yintegrity business in May 2012, and we won’t be done with it till May 2015, but the heat is off for July, August, and September this year.  June’s a little more complicated, but we’ll get there later.  Our current work here is around 14-17 degrees of the Cardinal Signs, which will light up any of your natal planets in this range.

The Big Grace comes from the Chiron-Saturn-Jupiter Grand Trine, which occurs in 18-20 degrees of the Water Signs, and will especially impact any natal process you have going on there.

The important thing to remember is not to self-congratulate for your brilliance, but to find your Gratitude for the Grace.  Self-confidence (nose points straight ahead) is great; self-adulation (nose points up) misses the point entirely.  If nose points down, get to work PIAVAing your Miracle.

As for the foreground, Juno Opposes Saturn on May 28 (the “first” foreground event), Vesta is Stationary Direct on May 27, and Ceres is Stationary Direct on June 1 (combined, the “second”).

To whit, on May 28 Juno Opposes Saturn.  The Portal will be Open for three of four days on either side.  This Juno-Saturn Cycle is about “Two men placed under arrest: A breakdown in the constructive relationship between the individual and society,” and the Initiation occurred in mid-September 2011 at 18 Libra.

The Opposition is a crisis point of sorts in a Cycle.  Cycles begin at the Conjunction (Initiation), the Music gets loud at the Square, and the Opposition is the point where you either realize you have remedial work to do, or recognize how much you’ve changed and modify the rest of your Life to fit whom you’ve now become. 

You can see the value of Consciousness; if you understand the trend, it’s easy to jump into the remedial work.  If you see Life as a constant, you’re most likely to just rue the lost opportunity to restructure your relationship to your Culture, not realizing that the real opportunity lies in front of you.

The Cycle starts to unwind after the Phitile, which occurs just after the Waning Trine.  The Opportunity to remedy unfinished work or expand results into other arenas occurs between the Opposition and the Phitile.

The Opposition occurs at 19 Taurus-Scorpio, so will ignite any natal hot spots you have at 17-21 of the Fixed Signs, as well as any natalities you have in the neighborhood of 18 Libra.  The Phitile will occur in the first week of August.  If you harmonize your Life between now and then, you’ll be glad you did.

Meanwhile, Vesta is Stationary Direct on May 27, and Ceres on June 1.  Using one degree of Sensitivity, their Stationary periods began about two weeks prior.  They’ve been Retrograde since their simultaneous March 1 Stations.  They’ve both been backing over the last Decanate of Libra, the Gemini Decanate.  Libra is Open to Other.

When a planet Retrogrades, it crosses its “Shadow Period” (the span of its Retrogradation) three times, once forward, then backward, then forward again.  It means that we’re asked to closely re-examine any issues involved with that Shadow Period.  A Decanate is a third of a Sign, or ten degrees.  The Decanates take the qualities of the following Signs of the same Element – here, the Air Signs Libra, Aquarius, and Gemini. 

So the first Decanate of Libra is the Libra Decanate (unrestrained Openness to Other), the second is the Aquarius Decanate (making sense of Other), and the third is the Gemini Decanate (puzzling over the way Other doesn’t make sense).

Each zodiacal Sign is a reaction to the previous Sign. 

Virgo’s spiritual purpose is to break up the self-focus of Leo, and as it is with all Mutable Signs (Mutable as in mutation), the result is in some degree chaos, as the old way self and society were organized breaks down into pieces that must be reassembled in new ways.  The Cardinal Signs react to Mutable chaos by creating a new sense of Order.  Libra’s notion of Order means Creating Community.  The Libra Decanate Reaches Out to Other.  The Aquarius Decanate tries to make sense out of what worked and what didn’t in that effort – though of course “what worked” is dependent on one’s objectives, and everyone has different objectives.

Since Reality is infinitely more complex than Duality, the mind never meets its natural objective of putting everything into neat categories.  So the Gemini Decanate is stuck with trying to fit the pieces together – trying to identify the parts of ideology that seemed to fit Reality and the parts of Reaching Out that seemed to work, trying to put those together, trying to understand why parts of ideology didn’t work and why parts of Reaching Out backfired.  The end result is an intense Curiosity inspired by the need to rectify Confusion (which, recall, is the first stage of Growth).  That takes us to Scorpio and its intense need to “get to the bottom of things.”

Any planets, asteroids, lights, house cusps, or other major symbolic points that you have in the last third of Libra will be triggered for you.

These Stations are only two degrees apart, as these ‘roids are on their way to Communion in early July.  Ceres will then Baptize Vesta at 22 Libra, “A child giving Birds a drink at a fountain: The concern of simple souls for the welfare and happiness of less-evolved Beings who thirst for life renewal.”  We take exception to the part about Birds being “less-evolved” Beings, but at least there is Compassion there, if not a lessening of homocentrism.  The Judgment is Rudhyar’s, and befits the Beliefs of his era.  Rudhyar usually sees Birds as intimating Spirit; we can modernize the reading to “A child giving Birds a drink at a fountain: Manifest form reconnecting itself to its overarching Spirit.”  Gratitude for the Bees made manifest, in other words.

The Vesta-Ceres Cycle runs sixteen to eighteen years; this one will be coloring our lives till early in 2030.  The Waxing Square will occur five times between 2016 and 2019.

Recall that the Energy of a Cycle is strong at its birth to those who are sensitive to it.  Then it appears to fade until the Waxing Square, as it prepares foundations underground.  The Energy “becomes permanent” at the Waxing Square.

We’ll be feeling strong hints of this new two-decade Cycle already – it’s about identifying and eliminating ossified Beliefs that prevent us from centering our Lives around the Heart.  With luck it will crack religious and scientific Fundamentalism wide open.

Yintegrity, Yindependence, Denial, and Noticing

March 14, 2014

benito5527bpThis isn’t the best specimen of Benitoite (Barium Titanium Silicate), but that’s the point.  Noticing is very subtle.

So, how would we deal with these issues, since the programming is likely to be very deep.  Some of our programming comes from pre-verbal ages, and it’s extremely difficult to address that intellectually.  For instance, if our Mum or other important caretaker was disgusted by Poo, we could end up not understanding why we feel like no one seems to like us.  Or if the fishwinner in our family of origin was anxious about how to fund yet another kidderoo.

This isn’t a medium to handle non-intellectual approaches, but I recommend Eugene Gendlin’s Let Your Body Interpret Your Dreams as an excellent primer on how to easily loosen the mind’s grip on Duality.  Of course his classic Focusing wouldn’t hurt either.  Developing a Both/And practice would be good.  And you might consider Stan Grof’s When the Impossible Happens as another starting place.

Leo, Libra, Pisces, and Virgo

With all the action in Pisces this time of year – and especially with Chiron and Neptune touring Pisces – whatever planets, lights, angles, asteroids, and other hot spots we have in Virgo will be triggered.  This culture has no space for Virgo, so whatever we have in Virgo will be tainted with at best internalized Rejection, and at worst Self-Hate.  As Pi reminds us again and again that under her watchful eye we can no longer avoid taking Responsibility for our self-sabotaging habits, we’re asked to Clear away this detritus of Western Culture.

Virgo is the Bridge from Leo-Ego to Libra-Other.  Like all Signs, Leo has it’s “good” and “bad” sides.  When you go to a play or a rock concert or a lecture (where there are few on stage soliciting Attention from many in the audience) and leave feeling exhilarated, you’ve experienced Leo’s good side, where the “star” is conjuring up communicable good vibes and sharing; when you leave feeling drained, you’ve experienced Leo’s not-so-good side, where the “star” is harvesting your Energy.

If you’ve ever experienced a situation where everyone is treated equally, everyone expresses their opinions and feelings while everyone else listens and acknowledges, and the only person who’s different is a facilitator, not a leader, you’ve experienced Libra.  The only example I can think of is a well-facilitated AA meeting.  Some teams, like Pete Carroll’s Stuporbowl team, or a symphony, where everyone expresses their talent and everyone else makes space for it, also work that way, though there’s usually a Leonine leader involved.

I hope that helps you appreciate Virgo’s “problem” – how to get from Leo to Libra.  In other cultures it’s not a problem.  In Hinduism for instance, Shiva the “Destroyer” (Recycler, Deconstructor) represents a full third of the Godhead, or a third of the Action in the Universe.  Western Culture’s institutionalized aversion to Ego Death is a whole ‘nother story.  In classical Western Astrology, Virgo is “Critical” and “Detail-Oriented” – that’s as close as they can get without broaching Ego Death.  And yes, when we internalize Criticism, it’s an Ego Death.

Ego Death is great – without it there is no Growth in Consciousness – but it feels worse than just about anything else we can imagine.  Western Culture, which trains us to Identify with the Body and mind rather than Spirit or Energy, equates Ego Death to physical Death.  Alzheimers is a testament to how Western Culture equates Ego Death to intellectual Death.  Its growing epidemic is an example of Pi’s mandate that we take Responsibility for our Self.

Denial

Denial, meanwhile, is tricky.  As Gendlin tells us, it like Dreams is not black and white.  When someone Criticizes us and it hurts, or when we misinterpret their body language or words and believe they’re Criticizing us, what is it we’re “Denying”?  We’re Denying Pi’s mandate to take Responsibility for our own Emotions.  If we were Neutral, we would step outside of our Behaviors, consider the Criticism objectively, and decide whether it was useful for us or not.  We might even have to convene a meeting of our Community, and ask whether a majority of our peers felt that way, in which case we might want to adopt a new Behavior in order to please our Community.

Or, if the Criticized Behavior is part of our True Self, change Communities.  But that’s seldom the case, because Behaviors are to Self as Color is to a Chameleon.  Behaviors are like the clothes we wear, they aren’t “Us,” so changing them shouldn’t normally be objectionable.  Nevertheless, we might decide that the Community is not open-minded enough to tolerate Behaviors which are benign, and their prejudice might encourage us to seek a better match.

Notice that it’s never about Abandoning a Behavior – all Behaviors are useful in some circumstances.  It may be about breaking a habitual Behavior, or learning a new one.  It’s when we Unconsciously and habitually use the same Behavior for every circumstance, whether it’s relevant and useful or not, that we get in trouble.  Then we need to become Conscious of the Habit, and learn new ways of responding to circumstances and feelings.

Otherwise, we’re just dealing with oversensitivity to Criticism.  If Criticism makes us “feel bad,” then we need to start Tapping.  We’d probably start with something like “Even though this Criticism makes me feel bad, I deeply and completely Love and Accept myself” or the like, then follow wherever that leads.

But that’s just a start.  When we’re moving into Dropping our Masks and Allowing our True Self to come through in its own unpredictable and inimical way, and claiming our Power, when we’re allowing Yindependence and Yintegrity – both of which by their very nature are Revolutionary, which is to say, not acceptable to the Olde Culture – we’re working in a whole ‘nother realm.  Rules change in the Reaches, as Ursula likes to say.  Which makes our Neutrality all the more important, or we’ll burn out or burn up quickly.

We have to recognize that some Behaviors can evoke violent reactions from the defenders of the Olde Guard, and be willing to “lose (many) battles in order to stay alive to win the war” – remember the part about a baseball player going to the Hall of Fame for getting on base thirty percent of the time.  Some Behaviors, even if they represent your True Self, can be equivalent to sitting in the front of the bus when you’re black, or being openly Gay in an egregiously anti-Gay gathering.  If you attempt them without Support, they can get you dead, physically.  Or worse.

Changing the Subject and Paying Attention

So where do we start.  First we make a Decision – to bring our Response to Criticism into Consciousness so we can work with it.  We could do the same with Both/And, Deciding to bring every Either/Or situation into Consciousness for review.  Decisions aren’t actually worth a lot, since they barely scratch the Unconscious, but it’s the place to start.  It at least will bring our Consciousness to the right place.

Then we move to PIAVA.  PIAVA has the potential to penetrate deeply into the Unconscious.  And as usual, the important piece is in Changing the Subject and Paying Attention.

For instance, if we succeed in Changing the Subject and Paying Attention, guess what we’re going to catch ourself doing!  We’re going to catch ourself

Criticizing ourself for reacting to Criticism

Okay, we’ve reached the real “Funhouse Mirror.”  That’s the Spiritual function of Hardcopy Reality (aka Matter) – to reflect back to us what we haven’t brought into Consciousness yet.  Of course if we’re reacting to other people Criticizing us, it’s a Mirror for Criticizing ourself!  That’s such a reliable process that we can actually start with

Oh, I’m criticizing someone!  What am I doing that this Mirrors?

This is the deeper nature of Denial; it’s not Linear or Binary; it’s a Funhouse Mirror.  It will take you there, but not through Duality.  It’s very seldom what you think it is, or its opposite; it’s usually something related.  Gendlin’s book explores this fabulously.  When we Criticize someone for Criticizing us, then we’re really chasing our own tail and in danger of turning into Butter.

Criticism is a vicious circle; the more we Criticize ourself or others, the more Critical we get and the more Criticized we get.  This is how we destroy Confidence.  Destroying Confidence is part of Virgo’s Leo-to-Libra task, but it doesn’t have to be done negatively.

If you’re thinking, What do you mean it doesn’t have to be negative – it’s Destruction, isn’t it!?! then you’re stuck in the Western Mind – go back to “Changing the Subject and Paying Attention,” do not collect $200, and start over.

All we need to do, is convert it to a virtuous circle, and we do that by Paying Attention.

As soon as we Notice ourself Slipping into Criticizing anyone for anything, ourself especially, we need to Congratulate ourself for Noticing, rather than Criticizing ourself for Slipping.

Doesn’t matter how many times you Slip, or how deeply you’ve Slipped into Criticism, Stop, and back out.  You might be yelling at someone about what’s wrong with them, or they might be yelling at you about what’s wrong with you, or you might be suicidal over your phenomenally monumental inadequacy – doesn’t matter.  Stop.  And Congratulate yourself for Noticing.  If you’re yelling at someone, just Stop, and calmly apologize – Oh, Sorry, I was possessed by a Demon, I didn’t mean any of that!  If someone else is yelling at you, walk away or hang up the phone; you really don’t need that kind of krap and you don’t need that kind of Community.  You may not even need that kind of parent or sibling.  If you’re suicidal, just put the pills back in the cabinet and move on.

Your PIAVA is to just keep Noticing.  The more you Notice and Act on it, the easier it gets, and the sooner you Notice.  The sooner you Notice, the easier it is to Act on it.  And the more you Act on it, the easier it is to Notice.  Easy, actually, you just have to start Noticing.

ben9910bpDamage to the tip of the Crystal, but this one shows more of the color that California’s State Gem is famous for.