Archive for the ‘Leo’ Category

21.5.16 Full Moon II

May 19, 2016

 

Our Chief Asteroid Officer points out that Astraea (the fifth asteroid discovered after Ceres, Pallas, Juno, and Vesta) completes the Grand Cross with the Full Moon.  Astraea is about Innocence, and she’s right at home in early Virgo.  

We can think of Virgoan innocence as “Who, me?” in the sense that when your best friend Lovingly accuses you of hiding behind a Mask (when you actually are), and you naturally and innocently reply “Who, me?”  Not that your friend would ever be dumb enough to try to label someone else’s Masks; it’s just a metaphor to explain Virgo’s function.  

Leo is where the Ego’s Self-Confidence peaks, Libra is where it meets Other, which means that all bets on Self-Confidence are up for grabs.  Virgo is in charge of the Transition.  If Virgo is the palm, Pisces is the back of the hand.  Aquarius is where the Ego’s Confidence in Community peaks, Aries is where it meets brand new territory so success will only follow from “Don’t-Know” mind.  Pisces is in charge of that Transition.

At the Full Moon we have dwarf planets Opposite one another that are both Stationary (Strong) early in this Virgo-Pisces Ego-Transition, from having a fair degree of Certainty and Comfort, to becoming a complete newbie again.  With Astraea asking, “Who, Me?”  Or as a reader says…

“Kaboom, JUST connected.  I’m wiggin’ out because I hold this perspective & perception that EVERYTHING IS A TRADE OFF.  OMG – THAT belief?  I was completely indoctrinated into THAT.  Hugo mungo either/or thinking.  I never saw the depth of this trade-off perspective and never connected it to The Grand Either/Or that permeates so much.  That they are one and the same.”

I could tell similar stories about my own Epiphanies, but this stuff moves so fast, and the nature of this Edge between Consciousness and the Unconscious is so ephemeral, that I can’t keep track from day to day of what my Psyche is doing.  I just know it’s moving through Heavy territory and making it’s own connections.  

How old was I when they had to sew my tongue back on because I bit it almost off jumping off a couch while horseplaying with my sibs?  Three?  Of course that wouldn’t have triggered my Abandonment because my father had to spend money he didn’t have.  And of course that wouldn’t have anything to do with my allergy to hospitals and my recent experience of them.  

Without knowing what but knowing it was Heavy, I used to literally paint that picture when I was in high school, the scene from the neighbor’s car, looking out over the river in the darkness.  I obviously wasn’t in my Body.  Shortly after that we moved to the downriver side of the hospital, and it took me a long time to figure out why in this picture I was looking down river.

Another reader, born during the height of the original Ouija-Board Pluto-Uranus Initiation, recommended Bill Plotkin’s Wild Mind to me.  Here are some excerpts about our Masks…

“The grave problem with having made such a pact in childhood is that, once adopted, it becomes a bedrock layer of our personalities.  Achieving liberation from our Loyal Soldier survival strategies is one of the most challenging and long-lasting tasks of the individuation process, requiring a good deal of courage, discernment, and endurance even into genuine adulthood and elderhood.” (p.133)

His pact, or Oath, is our response to our need to protect our child self from likely-fatal Abandonment by our Family or Community.  The dwarf planet Orcus, which symbolizes these Oaths, is Stationary only a few degrees from Astraea.  It’s handy, having Astraea’s Innocence there, allowing us more Empathy for the pickle that our historical tykes found themselves in.  That allows us to slap our forehead with an OMG, instead of the “How stupid can we be?” that we might otherwise greet ourself with while opening these doors.

The Pisces side of this equation features the dwarf planet OR10 – also Stationary – and the Centaur Nessus.  OR10 is about irruption of material from the Unconscious – including sudden Epiphanies.  Nessus is about Privilege and Abuse.  And all this is in the context of having Mars (Action, Anger) Oppose Vesta (Limiting Unconscious Beliefs) less than a Degree from the Full Moon axis.  All preparation for June’s Eris-Uranus (Embracing the Previously Denied) – the cosmic choreography is quite amazing.

Plotkin continues…

“Our juvenile survival strategies of self-diminishment form the core of our most self-defeating patterns: those that disparage our dreams, our potentials, and our healthy wildness, or that aggravate low self-esteem and troubles with intimacy.  And, most irksome, these strategies are often on autopilot, launched outside our awareness and without our consent or control.”

Conspiring to hold our Unique Genius in its Orphanage – or as we bring them into Consciousness, to Set it Free, as Ixion (Genius) Trines (Grace) Eris-Uranus.

More Masks from Plotkin (p.157)…

Not all of our Wounded Children are trying to help us survive.  Some are simply casualties of our other [Masks] or of the unkind actions of others.  These are our Outcasts, elements of our psyches we rejected in order to survive, in order to be accepted by others.

“These are the versions of ourselves of which we are ashamed – perhaps our gentleness or our fierceness, our sexuality, our anger or sadness, our fear or embarrassment, our love of dance or poetry, our joy or vivaciousness, or our need for touch or compassion.  Once we reject these Wounded Children and label them bad or worthless, they exist in a marginal, banished state within our psyches.  Nonetheless, we live every day with some awareness of their pain and heartache.

“For children, conscious self-rejection is less harmful than being rejected by others, even if it’s no less painful.  By restraining ourselves from acting in ways that lead to being shamed, we’re less likely to be abandoned.  The price we pay is self-shaming, resulting in Outcasts within us we’re not willing to love, who we’ve neglected and exiled.  

“Although our Outcasts persist as pockets of pain within us, they embody great gifts – strengths and sensibilities not deemed worthy by others in our early lives, but gifts we can reclaim when we’re psychologically ready to do so.  The reclamation process usually begins with grief.  We must mourn our psychological woundings by others, our consequent self-woundings, and the loss of joy, aliveness, and relationships that resulted from all our self-diminishments.”

And again (pp.186-7)…

“We’re all in recovery from Western civilization.  Sooner or later, we each must address the paramount addiction in the Western and Westernized worlds: our psychological dependence on the worldview and lifestyle of Western civilization itself.  The Western worldview says, in essence, that technological progress is the highest value, and that we were born to consume, to endlessly use and discard natural resources, other species, techno-gadgets, toys, and often, other people, especially if they’re poor or from the global South.

“It’s a world of commodities, not entities, of consumers, not human beings, and economic expansion is the primary measure of progress.  Profits are valued over people, money over meaning, our national entitlement over global peace and justice, ‘us’ over ‘them.’  This addiction to Western civilization – especially now that the Chinese, too, are hooked – is by far the most dangerous one in the world because of how rapidly and extensively it’s undermining the natural systems of the Earth.

“Addiction to Western civilization keeps us from seeing and feeling the staggering price all Earthly life pays for our consumer habit.  And it protects us from having to make any radical changes in lifestyle, or from having to grow up, leave the ‘home’ of our adolescent comforts, and embark on the hazardous journey of initiation that leads to an existence that’s life enhancing, meaningful. and fulfilling.”

Pp.208-210…

“The Shadow, one of the archetypes identified by psychologist Carl Jung, is composed of those elements of our own psyches that are unknown to us … the Shadow is not what we know about ourselves, don’t like, and keep hidden.  Rather, the Shadow is what is true about us that we don’t know – don’t know at all – and, if accused of it, would adamantly and sincerely deny.”

“Who, Me?”

“The purpose of the Shadow is to protect us from enacting personal characteristics that, if expressed, might land us in big trouble with others or ourselves.  We stuff these forbidden parts of ourselves in a corner of our psyches where we can’t find them, where we can ‘fail to notice’ them.”

“The Shadow is what our psyches repress (render unconscious), not what our Egos suppress (consciously hide from others). … This is difficult to accept and digest – that there are aspects or parts of ourselves we really don’t know and that are completely at odds with who we think we are.  

“Even when our other [Masks] act unconsciously (independently of our Egos), we know them by how they affect our lives, thoughts, and deeds.  Perhaps we don’t acknowledge them to others, but we do know them.  Not so for the elements of the Shadow.  The Shadow is always unconscious.”

Ah yes, dwarf planet Chaos (Unlimited Potential), Sextile (Grace after we initiate) to Eris-Uranus.  Thank goodness there’s always More.

2007 OR10 – Part II

November 3, 2015

Of course we can also use any other method of Divination to determine how to summarize the influence of a new planet.  For instance, Numerologically, 2007 OR10 is a “6,” The Lovers, symbolizing Partnership.  Partnership becomes possible when we Become Conscious of our Unconscious Beliefs, since we would then no longer attribute Motives to our potential Partners out of our own collection of Karmic, Egoic, and Family-of-Origin Dramas.  It’s all Relative, of course; Perfectionism might have a place in the Enneagram, but it’s an Either/Or, so we have to consider it an artifact of the intellect and not a property of the external World.

When OR10 dances with other planets?  There will be many more this winter, when the Inner Planets move through Pisces, but there have been a few lately as well.  Your Journal will serve you well.  What was going on in your Young Life in February 2011 and March 2012?  Any common themes during those periods?  Unconscious Emotions may have been giving us Grief in early 2011, and giving our Cultures fits in early 2012.

2007 OR10 Initiated Chiron (Nothing works!) in early March 2011 at 2 Pisces, “A squirrel hiding from hunters” (How our Unconscious Sabotage loves disguises!), and Initiated Neptune (Why is the US killing innocent people and supporting unelected autocrats, creating more insurgents?) in early April 2012 at 3 Pisces, “Petrified tree trunks lie broken on desert sand” (Ossified Cultural Patterns – such as government policy designed to promote Arms Merchants, per Eisenhower’s 50-year-old warning).  The Chiron-OR10 Cycle will average 50-some years, and the Neptune-OR10 Cycle will span around 300 years, and both should represent a pretty thorough Liver Cleanse for Huperity, as the Shift hits the fan.

As both Neptune and OR10 are Stationary on 18-19 October (and the week prior), we can expect more Ossified Cultural Patterns to come out into Consciousness.  Nothing Changes till it comes into Consciousness.  After their 2012 Conjunction, Neptune and OR10 are still traveling within a few Degrees of each other (five this year), so we can expect Cultural Renaissance to be strong for several years on either side of 2012.  

A planet’s Perihelion (closest approach to the Sun and hence to us) is also telling.  For instance, Pluto’s Perihelion is in Scorpio – big surprise, eh?  Uranus’s is in Virgo (Disrupting the old Ego), Neptune’s in mid-Leo (the Courage of Faith).  OR10’s Perihelion is 29 Degrees of Virgo (“A seeker after occult knowledge is reading an ancient scroll which illumines his mind“), giving us a chance to clean up our Act before we meet Other as we get to the Cusp of Libra.

Look up your own natal 2007 OR10 position at…

http://www.true-node.com/eph1/?inputNumber=225088&day=1&month=1&year=1950&time=00%3A00%3A00&zone=GMT+0&interval_num=1&interval=day&lines=120&.submit=Get+Ephemeris&calendar=Gregorian&zodiac=Tropical&origin=Geocentric&lighttime=True&clock=Universal+Time&zodsec=D%B0M&longitude=on&declination=on

Change the date so it’s a week or so prior to your birth, click the boxes for “Show Zodiacal Longitude” and “Show Declination” if they aren’t already checked, then click the “Get Ephemeris” box.  It may take a minute.  If “DECL” is numerically (ignore the +/-) more than 23°27, your OR10 is Out of Bounds.  If the “LONG” column starts or stops saying “Rx” within a few days of your birthdate, your OR10 is Stationary.  Out of Bounds and Stationary both mean Strong; your drive to clean up your Unconscious Act will have a big impact on your Life.  The table will give “Universal Time,” but OR10 moves so slowly relative to us that time of day won’t matter.

The second segment of OR10’s Discovery chart rivals the first segment in importance; the presence of OR10 itself in the first segment tilts it toward most important.  In both segments significant elements of Motivation combine with significant elements of Grace.  The theme of Becoming Conscious of our Unconscious Beliefs repeats in the second segment, while it asks for a more Assertive role in developing our Pathological Genius in ways that don’t create more Karma.  This segment includes the “Masculine Dilemma” – in Patriarchal Cultures, how does Dynamic Energy support Magnetic Energy without abusing Privilege and Power Over?

This segment includes a Grand Cross to the Nodes, overlain by a Kite focused on the non-Nodal corners of the Cross, plus an additional Conjunction that Bridges the Grand Cross and forms a Tricolor with the crossbar of the Kite.  The top of the Kite and third corner of the Grand Cross – which makes it the primary focus of the segment – is a Jupiter-Ixion Conjunction, “blowing up” our Pathological Genius.  Opposing Jupiter-Ixion is dwarf planet Chaos, indicating our Unlimited Potential when we meet the Challenge of Letting Go of our Limiting Beliefs (ie, the Nodal Axis).  The North Node is 10 Pisces, “An aviator pursues their journey, flying through ground-obscuring clouds,” which lends a sort of “End Justifies the Means” flavor to the segment.  

The crossbar of the Kite comprises a Vesta-Haumea Conjunction (Redemption) and a  Nessus-Chiron Conjunction (Healing Male Privilege).  The ancillary Square is from Nessus-Chiron to a Conjunction of Mars and Ceres (Making the Dynamic Sustainable), so the Tricolor is Nessus-Chiron Square Mars-Ceres Quincunx Vesta-Haumea Trine Nessus-Chiron: I Wonder what sort of Rebirth could Create a Sustainable Dynamism that doesn’t Act like a Bully.  The combination results in a Finger of God pointing to Vesta-Haumea from the Sextile between Mars-Ceres and the North Node.

That leaves us with a few holes to fill in Part III to follow.

Native American New Moon I

October 12, 2015

As we mentioned in the last post…

“There are actually two other Configurations in … Monday’s New Moon chart, [which] color it strongly.  One of them will provide Epiphanies about our Soul Self and [about] how [we might] adjust our Values and Identity to manifest [our Soul Self into our current Lifetime] more strongly (which Epiphanies will be multiplied by our intervening success at achieving Beginner’s Mind).  

“The other is about being Reborn into the Unimaginable through taking small steps toward Embracing our Orphaned Forbidden Genius.”

“Which are in turn, (1) a Uranus Mjolnir (a third planet at the far Midpoint between two planets that Square one another) on a base of Venus Square Saturn, and (2) a Golden Rectangle between dwarf planets Eris, Chaos, Haumea, and Ixion, with Centaur Pholus Conjunct Ixion, the New Moon Conjunct Haumea, and Uranus Conjunct Eris.”

Mjolnir is two Trioctiles from each end of a Square, merging on a third planet, which becomes the focus of the Mjolnir.  The Configuration is sometimes called “Thor’s Hammer,” and the term Mjolnir is Norwegian for just that.  Thor’s Hammer is often associated with destructive force, but that’s not quite accurate.  In the same sense that Uranus represents Disruption – Disruption of what is no longer in alignment with the Soul’s path for us in the Lifetime, Thor’s Hammer represents penetration of any Defense – as in any Defensiveness that protects the Ego from following the Soul’s path in the Lifetime.  Lightning is a good representation of the Mjolnir, as it is for the corresponding symbol in the Hindu tradition, the Vajra – sudden illumination of the Darkness, or Epiphany.

The Waxing Trioctile, 135 Degrees, combines the Eighth and Third Harmonics – Adjustment/Rebalancing and Love with Wisdom.  In the evolution of a Cycle, it sits between the Trine (120 Degrees) and the Biquintile (144); between the Grace that follows from aligning one’s path with the Zeitgeist (Trine), and the Realization of the Value of Tradition and the Power of Ritual (Biquintile).  The Biquintile in turn is followed closely by the Quincunx (150, Curiosity), the Triseptile (154) – Shamanic Power exercised for the Good of All, and the Quadrinovile (160) – Mastery gained through Self-Examination in Contemplation.  

This is a powerful section of the Zodiac, corresponding to Leo and early Virgo.  There are massive Changes going on, but they’re faced with the Courage of Leo, because the Uncertainty and Confusion of the earlier sections of the Zodiac have passed under the Bridge, and by now we kind of have a feel for what’s going down.  The notion that a Trioctile is a minor Square (often called a “Sesqui-Square”) is valid in only one sense: the sense that the Ego is a Trickster that can point one in the wrong direction if one focuses on Greed or Revenge.  Of course the zone of the Waning Trioctile and its near neighbors corresponds to Scorpio – the Debriefing that follows the Phitile.  While Leo embodies Courage, the defining quality of Scorpio is Fearlessness.

In today’s Mjolnir, the Waxing Trioctile is Venus to Uranus: Adjusting and Rebalancing our Values to better reflect the ongoing Descent of our Soul Self.  The Cycle Initiated in March at 15 Aries, “A Native American weaving a ceremonial blanket.”

The Waning Trioctile is Saturn to Uranus: Debriefing the Ego to discover what it has Learned about the Soul’s Intention as a result of its Experience with the Cycle that is beginning to unwind – which was “The Pope Blessing the Faithful,” 30 Sagittarius, February 1988, part of the Harmonic Convergence.

The Square is Waning, Venus to Saturn: Challenge to Ease up on the Ego’s role as the Protector of our Physical Vehicle.  The Cycle is “Native Americans making camp after moving into new territory,” – 26 Scorpio, November 2014.  In other words, some of our Beliefs about what we need to Survive have become Limiting Beliefs, that we’re Challenged to Let Go of.

So really, there are Big Questions here…

  • Ritual and Tradition are strong here.  What a “coincidence” that this New Moon occurs on Native American Day.
  • Since March, what have you connected or reconnected with, that you Feel is Sacred?  Have you established a Ritual, or Ritual Object, of some sort to honor it?
  • What has the Ego Learned since the Harmonic Convergence!  Wow.  Who were you in 1986?  What’s Changed in your Field since then?  What’s different now about the way you Defend your Health and your “turf” and the externalities that you Identify with (work? Relationship? Family? Money? Religion? Sports? Politics?)?  Does your current Perspective seem like Growth, or backsliding, compared to where you were in 1986?  Of course it’s Both/And; in what ways is it Growth, and in what ways is it backsliding?  Where are the razor-wire fences you can Levitate over?
  • Things in your Life were Changing rapidly in late 2014 and early 2015.  You made some Decisions about what you needed to do to Support yourself.  Decisions are like Instant Karma; they create Patterns that are useful in the short run, but which seldom come with their own Sunset Provisions.  We forget we made them, and we don’t revisit them to see if they’re still relevant.  What Decisions about Survival did you make in late 2014 and early 2015, and are they still relevant?  Or are they holding you back?  Both/And?  How to Rebalance/Adjust them to bring them into the Present Moment.  

Decisions don’t have to be explicit; recurring thoughts can have the same Power.  What were you thinking about in late 2014 and early 2015?  Were your thoughts Constructive, or Fearful in nature?  

So you don’t have to get bogged down in details, you may want to just PIAVA that obsolete Decisions and Patterns come to your Attention, gently and lovingly, and Adjustments appropriate to Now become Clear.  Make sure you include the gently and lovingly, because a PIAVA like this could turn your Life upside down if you didn’t also ask for Grace.  You may want to limit it to recent Decisions and Patterns, or, if you don’t, be watchful for Overwhelm, and respond to it with a compensatory PIAVA on the order of Visualizing or Affirming that the Changes in your Life occur at exactly the right speed, so you’re neither too early nor too late to synch with the Planetary Changes.  Or, you can just Levitate over the fence.

In the next installment, we’ll go into “The other [Configuration] is about being Reborn into the Unimaginable through taking small steps toward Embracing our Orphaned Forbidden Genius.”

Busy Weekend

July 25, 2015

millness

Here’s a thought experiment for you…

For the last five weeks you’ve been revising your personal Social Contract with the World. 

Can you recognize this process in your Life?  It may have something to do with your Shoulds and Want-To’s.  You’ve barely begun – you’ve only laid the foundation, but by the time you finish, the Changes will be major.  How has the process been working for you?  How are you feeling about it?  Where’s your jaw this morning?  Up?  Down?  Firm?  Quivery?

Our Bodies and Psyche and our Collaborative Environment run on Hypertoroidal Time; only our mind runs on Linear Time.  Starting on 21 June, our Bodies and Psyche and Collaborative Environment started a new project.  Starting now, they’re letting the mind in on the new agenda.  The Body and Psyche and Collaborative Environment do it this way on purpose, so the mind doesn’t screw up big important Changes with its Dualism and Reductionism.  Reductionism is the preference for working with parts rather than Wholes. 

Our Ego doesn’t end at the skin or the Aura or even the yard.  Everyone and Everything we interact with, knowingly or unknowingly, is engaged in a complex Collaboration with our Ego, setting up dramas and scenes for us.  We do the same for others.  We really are All One. 

Take a few minutes and Be the Planet. 

Wow, see all those tentacles reaching everywhere and tweaking this and that?  Notice that some of them are your fingers?  What if you had to run the Whole Planet with your mind?  How long would you last before you ran screaming for the Exit?  This is a good exercise in Surrendering Control.  Ego isn’t about Control; it’s about the Illusion of Control.

Venus crossed the midpoint of Leo on 21 June, initiating this process.  Venus turned Retrograde on the Cusp of Virgo today.  It will turn Direct again in early September, then it will take another five weeks to get back to the Cusp of Virgo.  So Venus crosses this last half of Leo three times.  And our Big Self – Body, Psyche, Collaborative Environment – knew on 21 June that we were taking an Intensive, a graduate seminar, on the Last Half of Leo.  The Last Half of Leo is the Aquarius Half; it’s about how the Ego relates to its Community.  While it’s Retrograde, Venus will cross Jupiter, Mercury, the Sun, and Mars, and Square Saturn and Sedna.

The Venus Station makes an Unx with the 24 July Conjunction of the North Node and Makemake, and a Quincunx to Ceres.  Toby Hemenway points out that the permaculture perspective suggests that we replace the need for the Sustainable (Ceres) with a need for the Regenerative – that we seek Living processes that are Self-Sustaining.  On the other hand, the Initiation of the North Node by Makemake occurs at 1 Libra, “In a collection of perfect specimens, a butterfly displays the beauty of its wings, its body impaled by a fine dart.”  That’s an inauspicious beginning for the Social half of the Zodiac.  Let’s turn it around, and reframe 1 Libra as the Healing of the need to snapshot Life.

Then there’s the 26 July Station of Uranus, as it prepares to be Initiated by Eris.  It Retrogrades across the Scorpio and Libra Duads of Aries.  More of the same – the Dance between the Individual Ego and the Collective.  Eris will take the illusions of Individuality and Control and rip them wide open.

Yintegrity, Yindependence, Denial, and Noticing

March 14, 2014

benito5527bpThis isn’t the best specimen of Benitoite (Barium Titanium Silicate), but that’s the point.  Noticing is very subtle.

So, how would we deal with these issues, since the programming is likely to be very deep.  Some of our programming comes from pre-verbal ages, and it’s extremely difficult to address that intellectually.  For instance, if our Mum or other important caretaker was disgusted by Poo, we could end up not understanding why we feel like no one seems to like us.  Or if the fishwinner in our family of origin was anxious about how to fund yet another kidderoo.

This isn’t a medium to handle non-intellectual approaches, but I recommend Eugene Gendlin’s Let Your Body Interpret Your Dreams as an excellent primer on how to easily loosen the mind’s grip on Duality.  Of course his classic Focusing wouldn’t hurt either.  Developing a Both/And practice would be good.  And you might consider Stan Grof’s When the Impossible Happens as another starting place.

Leo, Libra, Pisces, and Virgo

With all the action in Pisces this time of year – and especially with Chiron and Neptune touring Pisces – whatever planets, lights, angles, asteroids, and other hot spots we have in Virgo will be triggered.  This culture has no space for Virgo, so whatever we have in Virgo will be tainted with at best internalized Rejection, and at worst Self-Hate.  As Pi reminds us again and again that under her watchful eye we can no longer avoid taking Responsibility for our self-sabotaging habits, we’re asked to Clear away this detritus of Western Culture.

Virgo is the Bridge from Leo-Ego to Libra-Other.  Like all Signs, Leo has it’s “good” and “bad” sides.  When you go to a play or a rock concert or a lecture (where there are few on stage soliciting Attention from many in the audience) and leave feeling exhilarated, you’ve experienced Leo’s good side, where the “star” is conjuring up communicable good vibes and sharing; when you leave feeling drained, you’ve experienced Leo’s not-so-good side, where the “star” is harvesting your Energy.

If you’ve ever experienced a situation where everyone is treated equally, everyone expresses their opinions and feelings while everyone else listens and acknowledges, and the only person who’s different is a facilitator, not a leader, you’ve experienced Libra.  The only example I can think of is a well-facilitated AA meeting.  Some teams, like Pete Carroll’s Stuporbowl team, or a symphony, where everyone expresses their talent and everyone else makes space for it, also work that way, though there’s usually a Leonine leader involved.

I hope that helps you appreciate Virgo’s “problem” – how to get from Leo to Libra.  In other cultures it’s not a problem.  In Hinduism for instance, Shiva the “Destroyer” (Recycler, Deconstructor) represents a full third of the Godhead, or a third of the Action in the Universe.  Western Culture’s institutionalized aversion to Ego Death is a whole ‘nother story.  In classical Western Astrology, Virgo is “Critical” and “Detail-Oriented” – that’s as close as they can get without broaching Ego Death.  And yes, when we internalize Criticism, it’s an Ego Death.

Ego Death is great – without it there is no Growth in Consciousness – but it feels worse than just about anything else we can imagine.  Western Culture, which trains us to Identify with the Body and mind rather than Spirit or Energy, equates Ego Death to physical Death.  Alzheimers is a testament to how Western Culture equates Ego Death to intellectual Death.  Its growing epidemic is an example of Pi’s mandate that we take Responsibility for our Self.

Denial

Denial, meanwhile, is tricky.  As Gendlin tells us, it like Dreams is not black and white.  When someone Criticizes us and it hurts, or when we misinterpret their body language or words and believe they’re Criticizing us, what is it we’re “Denying”?  We’re Denying Pi’s mandate to take Responsibility for our own Emotions.  If we were Neutral, we would step outside of our Behaviors, consider the Criticism objectively, and decide whether it was useful for us or not.  We might even have to convene a meeting of our Community, and ask whether a majority of our peers felt that way, in which case we might want to adopt a new Behavior in order to please our Community.

Or, if the Criticized Behavior is part of our True Self, change Communities.  But that’s seldom the case, because Behaviors are to Self as Color is to a Chameleon.  Behaviors are like the clothes we wear, they aren’t “Us,” so changing them shouldn’t normally be objectionable.  Nevertheless, we might decide that the Community is not open-minded enough to tolerate Behaviors which are benign, and their prejudice might encourage us to seek a better match.

Notice that it’s never about Abandoning a Behavior – all Behaviors are useful in some circumstances.  It may be about breaking a habitual Behavior, or learning a new one.  It’s when we Unconsciously and habitually use the same Behavior for every circumstance, whether it’s relevant and useful or not, that we get in trouble.  Then we need to become Conscious of the Habit, and learn new ways of responding to circumstances and feelings.

Otherwise, we’re just dealing with oversensitivity to Criticism.  If Criticism makes us “feel bad,” then we need to start Tapping.  We’d probably start with something like “Even though this Criticism makes me feel bad, I deeply and completely Love and Accept myself” or the like, then follow wherever that leads.

But that’s just a start.  When we’re moving into Dropping our Masks and Allowing our True Self to come through in its own unpredictable and inimical way, and claiming our Power, when we’re allowing Yindependence and Yintegrity – both of which by their very nature are Revolutionary, which is to say, not acceptable to the Olde Culture – we’re working in a whole ‘nother realm.  Rules change in the Reaches, as Ursula likes to say.  Which makes our Neutrality all the more important, or we’ll burn out or burn up quickly.

We have to recognize that some Behaviors can evoke violent reactions from the defenders of the Olde Guard, and be willing to “lose (many) battles in order to stay alive to win the war” – remember the part about a baseball player going to the Hall of Fame for getting on base thirty percent of the time.  Some Behaviors, even if they represent your True Self, can be equivalent to sitting in the front of the bus when you’re black, or being openly Gay in an egregiously anti-Gay gathering.  If you attempt them without Support, they can get you dead, physically.  Or worse.

Changing the Subject and Paying Attention

So where do we start.  First we make a Decision – to bring our Response to Criticism into Consciousness so we can work with it.  We could do the same with Both/And, Deciding to bring every Either/Or situation into Consciousness for review.  Decisions aren’t actually worth a lot, since they barely scratch the Unconscious, but it’s the place to start.  It at least will bring our Consciousness to the right place.

Then we move to PIAVA.  PIAVA has the potential to penetrate deeply into the Unconscious.  And as usual, the important piece is in Changing the Subject and Paying Attention.

For instance, if we succeed in Changing the Subject and Paying Attention, guess what we’re going to catch ourself doing!  We’re going to catch ourself

Criticizing ourself for reacting to Criticism

Okay, we’ve reached the real “Funhouse Mirror.”  That’s the Spiritual function of Hardcopy Reality (aka Matter) – to reflect back to us what we haven’t brought into Consciousness yet.  Of course if we’re reacting to other people Criticizing us, it’s a Mirror for Criticizing ourself!  That’s such a reliable process that we can actually start with

Oh, I’m criticizing someone!  What am I doing that this Mirrors?

This is the deeper nature of Denial; it’s not Linear or Binary; it’s a Funhouse Mirror.  It will take you there, but not through Duality.  It’s very seldom what you think it is, or its opposite; it’s usually something related.  Gendlin’s book explores this fabulously.  When we Criticize someone for Criticizing us, then we’re really chasing our own tail and in danger of turning into Butter.

Criticism is a vicious circle; the more we Criticize ourself or others, the more Critical we get and the more Criticized we get.  This is how we destroy Confidence.  Destroying Confidence is part of Virgo’s Leo-to-Libra task, but it doesn’t have to be done negatively.

If you’re thinking, What do you mean it doesn’t have to be negative – it’s Destruction, isn’t it!?! then you’re stuck in the Western Mind – go back to “Changing the Subject and Paying Attention,” do not collect $200, and start over.

All we need to do, is convert it to a virtuous circle, and we do that by Paying Attention.

As soon as we Notice ourself Slipping into Criticizing anyone for anything, ourself especially, we need to Congratulate ourself for Noticing, rather than Criticizing ourself for Slipping.

Doesn’t matter how many times you Slip, or how deeply you’ve Slipped into Criticism, Stop, and back out.  You might be yelling at someone about what’s wrong with them, or they might be yelling at you about what’s wrong with you, or you might be suicidal over your phenomenally monumental inadequacy – doesn’t matter.  Stop.  And Congratulate yourself for Noticing.  If you’re yelling at someone, just Stop, and calmly apologize – Oh, Sorry, I was possessed by a Demon, I didn’t mean any of that!  If someone else is yelling at you, walk away or hang up the phone; you really don’t need that kind of krap and you don’t need that kind of Community.  You may not even need that kind of parent or sibling.  If you’re suicidal, just put the pills back in the cabinet and move on.

Your PIAVA is to just keep Noticing.  The more you Notice and Act on it, the easier it gets, and the sooner you Notice.  The sooner you Notice, the easier it is to Act on it.  And the more you Act on it, the easier it is to Notice.  Easy, actually, you just have to start Noticing.

ben9910bpDamage to the tip of the Crystal, but this one shows more of the color that California’s State Gem is famous for.