Archive for the ‘Shadow’ Category

21.5.16 Full Moon II

May 19, 2016

 

Our Chief Asteroid Officer points out that Astraea (the fifth asteroid discovered after Ceres, Pallas, Juno, and Vesta) completes the Grand Cross with the Full Moon.  Astraea is about Innocence, and she’s right at home in early Virgo.  

We can think of Virgoan innocence as “Who, me?” in the sense that when your best friend Lovingly accuses you of hiding behind a Mask (when you actually are), and you naturally and innocently reply “Who, me?”  Not that your friend would ever be dumb enough to try to label someone else’s Masks; it’s just a metaphor to explain Virgo’s function.  

Leo is where the Ego’s Self-Confidence peaks, Libra is where it meets Other, which means that all bets on Self-Confidence are up for grabs.  Virgo is in charge of the Transition.  If Virgo is the palm, Pisces is the back of the hand.  Aquarius is where the Ego’s Confidence in Community peaks, Aries is where it meets brand new territory so success will only follow from “Don’t-Know” mind.  Pisces is in charge of that Transition.

At the Full Moon we have dwarf planets Opposite one another that are both Stationary (Strong) early in this Virgo-Pisces Ego-Transition, from having a fair degree of Certainty and Comfort, to becoming a complete newbie again.  With Astraea asking, “Who, Me?”  Or as a reader says…

“Kaboom, JUST connected.  I’m wiggin’ out because I hold this perspective & perception that EVERYTHING IS A TRADE OFF.  OMG – THAT belief?  I was completely indoctrinated into THAT.  Hugo mungo either/or thinking.  I never saw the depth of this trade-off perspective and never connected it to The Grand Either/Or that permeates so much.  That they are one and the same.”

I could tell similar stories about my own Epiphanies, but this stuff moves so fast, and the nature of this Edge between Consciousness and the Unconscious is so ephemeral, that I can’t keep track from day to day of what my Psyche is doing.  I just know it’s moving through Heavy territory and making it’s own connections.  

How old was I when they had to sew my tongue back on because I bit it almost off jumping off a couch while horseplaying with my sibs?  Three?  Of course that wouldn’t have triggered my Abandonment because my father had to spend money he didn’t have.  And of course that wouldn’t have anything to do with my allergy to hospitals and my recent experience of them.  

Without knowing what but knowing it was Heavy, I used to literally paint that picture when I was in high school, the scene from the neighbor’s car, looking out over the river in the darkness.  I obviously wasn’t in my Body.  Shortly after that we moved to the downriver side of the hospital, and it took me a long time to figure out why in this picture I was looking down river.

Another reader, born during the height of the original Ouija-Board Pluto-Uranus Initiation, recommended Bill Plotkin’s Wild Mind to me.  Here are some excerpts about our Masks…

“The grave problem with having made such a pact in childhood is that, once adopted, it becomes a bedrock layer of our personalities.  Achieving liberation from our Loyal Soldier survival strategies is one of the most challenging and long-lasting tasks of the individuation process, requiring a good deal of courage, discernment, and endurance even into genuine adulthood and elderhood.” (p.133)

His pact, or Oath, is our response to our need to protect our child self from likely-fatal Abandonment by our Family or Community.  The dwarf planet Orcus, which symbolizes these Oaths, is Stationary only a few degrees from Astraea.  It’s handy, having Astraea’s Innocence there, allowing us more Empathy for the pickle that our historical tykes found themselves in.  That allows us to slap our forehead with an OMG, instead of the “How stupid can we be?” that we might otherwise greet ourself with while opening these doors.

The Pisces side of this equation features the dwarf planet OR10 – also Stationary – and the Centaur Nessus.  OR10 is about irruption of material from the Unconscious – including sudden Epiphanies.  Nessus is about Privilege and Abuse.  And all this is in the context of having Mars (Action, Anger) Oppose Vesta (Limiting Unconscious Beliefs) less than a Degree from the Full Moon axis.  All preparation for June’s Eris-Uranus (Embracing the Previously Denied) – the cosmic choreography is quite amazing.

Plotkin continues…

“Our juvenile survival strategies of self-diminishment form the core of our most self-defeating patterns: those that disparage our dreams, our potentials, and our healthy wildness, or that aggravate low self-esteem and troubles with intimacy.  And, most irksome, these strategies are often on autopilot, launched outside our awareness and without our consent or control.”

Conspiring to hold our Unique Genius in its Orphanage – or as we bring them into Consciousness, to Set it Free, as Ixion (Genius) Trines (Grace) Eris-Uranus.

More Masks from Plotkin (p.157)…

Not all of our Wounded Children are trying to help us survive.  Some are simply casualties of our other [Masks] or of the unkind actions of others.  These are our Outcasts, elements of our psyches we rejected in order to survive, in order to be accepted by others.

“These are the versions of ourselves of which we are ashamed – perhaps our gentleness or our fierceness, our sexuality, our anger or sadness, our fear or embarrassment, our love of dance or poetry, our joy or vivaciousness, or our need for touch or compassion.  Once we reject these Wounded Children and label them bad or worthless, they exist in a marginal, banished state within our psyches.  Nonetheless, we live every day with some awareness of their pain and heartache.

“For children, conscious self-rejection is less harmful than being rejected by others, even if it’s no less painful.  By restraining ourselves from acting in ways that lead to being shamed, we’re less likely to be abandoned.  The price we pay is self-shaming, resulting in Outcasts within us we’re not willing to love, who we’ve neglected and exiled.  

“Although our Outcasts persist as pockets of pain within us, they embody great gifts – strengths and sensibilities not deemed worthy by others in our early lives, but gifts we can reclaim when we’re psychologically ready to do so.  The reclamation process usually begins with grief.  We must mourn our psychological woundings by others, our consequent self-woundings, and the loss of joy, aliveness, and relationships that resulted from all our self-diminishments.”

And again (pp.186-7)…

“We’re all in recovery from Western civilization.  Sooner or later, we each must address the paramount addiction in the Western and Westernized worlds: our psychological dependence on the worldview and lifestyle of Western civilization itself.  The Western worldview says, in essence, that technological progress is the highest value, and that we were born to consume, to endlessly use and discard natural resources, other species, techno-gadgets, toys, and often, other people, especially if they’re poor or from the global South.

“It’s a world of commodities, not entities, of consumers, not human beings, and economic expansion is the primary measure of progress.  Profits are valued over people, money over meaning, our national entitlement over global peace and justice, ‘us’ over ‘them.’  This addiction to Western civilization – especially now that the Chinese, too, are hooked – is by far the most dangerous one in the world because of how rapidly and extensively it’s undermining the natural systems of the Earth.

“Addiction to Western civilization keeps us from seeing and feeling the staggering price all Earthly life pays for our consumer habit.  And it protects us from having to make any radical changes in lifestyle, or from having to grow up, leave the ‘home’ of our adolescent comforts, and embark on the hazardous journey of initiation that leads to an existence that’s life enhancing, meaningful. and fulfilling.”

Pp.208-210…

“The Shadow, one of the archetypes identified by psychologist Carl Jung, is composed of those elements of our own psyches that are unknown to us … the Shadow is not what we know about ourselves, don’t like, and keep hidden.  Rather, the Shadow is what is true about us that we don’t know – don’t know at all – and, if accused of it, would adamantly and sincerely deny.”

“Who, Me?”

“The purpose of the Shadow is to protect us from enacting personal characteristics that, if expressed, might land us in big trouble with others or ourselves.  We stuff these forbidden parts of ourselves in a corner of our psyches where we can’t find them, where we can ‘fail to notice’ them.”

“The Shadow is what our psyches repress (render unconscious), not what our Egos suppress (consciously hide from others). … This is difficult to accept and digest – that there are aspects or parts of ourselves we really don’t know and that are completely at odds with who we think we are.  

“Even when our other [Masks] act unconsciously (independently of our Egos), we know them by how they affect our lives, thoughts, and deeds.  Perhaps we don’t acknowledge them to others, but we do know them.  Not so for the elements of the Shadow.  The Shadow is always unconscious.”

Ah yes, dwarf planet Chaos (Unlimited Potential), Sextile (Grace after we initiate) to Eris-Uranus.  Thank goodness there’s always More.

This Week (8-14 May)

May 12, 2016

On Monday 9 May (5am PDT) Jupiter turned Direct and started its final ascent into its 23-June Initiation of the North Node, which signifies a big emphasis on our Mission in the Lifetime, and in the process on our Deepest Desires.  Our Mission is larger by many orders of magnitude than our Intellect can grasp, so our Deepest Desires represent a peepshow of our Mission, presented to our Ego in a form it can understand.  As Consciousness grows, our Deepest Desires metamorphose into our Mission.

The Jupiter-North Node Initiation is about A Volcanic Eruption, so on some levels it could be a bigger event than our 9-June Eris-Uranus Initiation.  Or at least, a more Conscious event.  Eris-Uranus will blow the gaskets off of the Masks that we use to pretend that we have socially redeeming value in spite of our Original Sins – which of course are nothing but programmed Self-Judgments.  If we have any Masks left after 2012-15.  At the very least we have to get Honest with ourself about our Deepest Desires and their addictive qualities, even if they’re not ready to dance on the World Stage.  You could call them our Hungry Ghosts.  Addiction can prevent metamorphosis.

We didn’t mention in our New Moon post that the New Moon forms a Major Tricolor with Stationary Jupiter/North Node and Saturn: Jupiter/NN-Square-Saturn-Quincunx-NewMoon-Trine-Jupiter/NN.  Which is to say that you can effectively address any Conflicts over how to Both Expand and Focus by Wondering what’s being Reborn here.

On 13 May we have an interesting Conjunction between two asteroids, Aletheia and Veritas – respectively Greek and Latin for Truth.  The Conjunction is Unx (one Sign) from the asteroid Mnemosyne – Memory.  The Unx is about

  • Breaking Patterns,
  • Letting Go of Karma,
  • Changing Habits, and
  • Untangling ourself from Archetypes.  

So this week is likely to have a lot of information for us about how our June will unfold.  

Watch your Thoughts and Emotions closely.  We all have Patterns of quickly shifting our Attention away from issues we don’t like to contemplate.  Many of these Patterns operate below the level of Consciousness, but even some of those may surface here.  If you catch yourself shifting your Attention away from your Fears, after you do your Cancel, Neutralize, Upgrade, stop and examine the Fear.  You may have access this week to its roots, and if you can pull out the roots, the weed can’t regrow, as of course it will if you just keep cutting it off at ground level.

Definitely Tap out the Fears you become Conscious of, but with a twist this week.  Instead of “Even though I’m afraid of that I deeply and completely Love and Accept Myself,” use “Even though I don’t know why I’m afraid of that I deeply and completely Love and Accept Myself.”  Put what you do know about the Fear in place of “that.”  Confusion is good, it’s the first stage of Growth.  Be Curious about it.

Jupiter will now cross for the third time the Pisces through Gemini Duads of Virgo – the last half of the Capricorn Decanate and the first half of the Taurus Decanate.  As Jupiter dismantles our Olde Ego (that’s what Virgo does for a Living), it goes through the process of

  1. Looking to see what’s socially unacceptable (Libra),
  2. Rooting out why we do that (Scorpio),
  3. Letting Go of that (Sagittarius),
  4. Replacing it with something more useful (Capricorn),
  5. Testing it to see how it flies socially (Aquarius),
  6. Rueing our Inadequacy (Pisces), 
  7. Surrendering Control (Aries),
  8. Observing what evolves (Taurus),
  9. Adapting it to our Liking (Gemini),
  10. Nurturing it (Cancer), and finally,
  11. Wearing it as our New Ego (Leo).

We’re reviewing stages 6 through 9 here.  Be Gentle with yourself.

Portal 24-29.3 – Saturn et al Stationary III

March 25, 2016

Another reader speaks up…

“Yes, Bummers indeed… At least it’s getting easier…!  And yes, there have been weird physical symptoms.
“A couple of questions for you:
“Any way you could give an example of ‘challenges to expand our values,’ perhaps from your personal experience or the experience of someone you’ve heard from?  I sense it’s important and that something may have come into my awareness along these lines, but it escapes me.”

A few examples of Values that might require Expanding for some of us…

“One of the defining characteristics of the shaman is a close relationship with animal and bird companions that includes the ability to borrow their forms.  These relationships are part of a broader connectedness with all nature – with the spirit of trees and plants, of stone and mountains – that flows from the awareness that everything is alive, everything is ensouled, everything is related.”  — Robert Moss, Dreamgates, p. 72

Anyone being “victimized” by one of these violent Spring storms crossing the US?  What Value do you place on your Relationship to the Weather, or to Climate?  How Active are you in the campaign against Global Warming?  How often do you commune with the Gods and Goddesses of Weather?  Does that sound ridiculous to you?

I don’t know how the violence in Europe is being covered by the media there, but in the US, it’s all “How could those monsters do those things to us?”  The US builds some 60-or-so percent of all the bombs and killing machines in the World.  When we use those on the rest of the World, does the media ask “How could we be such monsters to do those things to those other people?”

” ‘It’s a difficult decision, the steady paycheck makes me feel secure and useful, and I expect it will be close to impossible to get health insurance because of my pre-existing condition.  But I’m impatient to be doing those things that were important to me before my career pushed everything aside.’  

“The outer journey for recognition became less and less important as I explored the inner terrain.  My feminine voice became stronger as I developed the courage to let go of my reliance on linear mind.  Then I was free to listen to dreams, images, and inner allies.  These became my guides.  When a woman reduces the emphasis on the outer heroic quest for self-definition, she is free to explore her images and her voice.”  –Maureen Murdock, The Heroine’s Journey, p.10.

“Part of the calling of women as we move into the 21st century is to revive a spirituality of creativity that is not afraid of the strange beauty of the underwater world of the subconscious, and to help men out of the restricted and narrow world of provable and limited fact in which society has imprisoned them.  My role as a feminist is not to compete with men in their world – that’s too easy, and ultimately unproductive.  My job is to live fully as a woman, enjoying the whole of myself and my place in the universe.”  –Madeleine L’Engle, “Shake the Universe,” Ms magazine, Summer 1987, pp.182-5, quoted in Murdock op cit p.11.

“Although ecological values and holistic ideas can be imagined and are being articulated now, actual implementation is uncommon because such values are at odds with the prevailing patriarchal pattern.  Ownership of natural resources by this or that individual, corporation, or state, and exploitation of the natural world are automatic corollaries of the patriarchal world view, which is still the norm for us.”  –Genia Haddon, Body Metaphors, p.109.

“This comes from the illusion that if others knew our hearts – who we truly are – they would not choose us.  We must choose ourselves, and by that strength live our lives…  In the future the word ‘healing’ … will not be related to this strange attachment we have to inertia, whereby we attempt to hold ourselves on one point lest we lose control and expand.  Healing must go deeper.  Healing will one day refer to the actual energetic process of transmutation, transformation, transcendence.”  –Chris Griscom, Ecstasy Is a New Frequency, pp.76-7.

  ¿    ¿    ¿    ¿    ¿  

I’d Do Anything for Love, but I Won’t Do That!

Our reader continues…

“Then when your reader quotes you with reference to taunts they have received, you write: ‘An excellent test of how your very subtle growth is progressing will be your sense of Being Violated.  Certainly not physically, but if you encounter Insults, Pay Attention.’ 
“Again, wondering if you could expand upon this, as in, Pay Attention to What?  I appear to have been ‘slighted’ a few times recently, in ways that make it hard for me to know whether the person really meant to offend, whether is was my imagination or just my own defensiveness and/or projection of my own insecurities about myself onto what was said to me about me by others.  So are the ‘bad’ qualities they are pointing out in me clues as to my rejected inner genius as you describe?”

Absolutely!  I recall in one of Gay Hendricks’s books he remarked that a participant in one of his workshops took every criticism he heard, and weighed it carefully to see if it was “useful” to him.  It’s handy that your attackers were ambiguous, because it doesn’t have anything to do with them anyway, it’s all between your Ego and your Genius, or at least between your Ego and your Self-Doubt.  You could actually take the dictionary, and run through all of the adjectives, to see which of them raise your hackles when paired with “I am.”

Aside from the fact that you should feel totally insulted to be called an adjective (I mean, how limiting! – you could at least be a verb, if you were going to limit your scope to conceiving of yourself as a part of speech), the greater your Resistance to any given adjective, the greater the likelihood that tracing that Resistance back to its origins (When was the first time that I can recall Resisting that appellation?  What was going on?  Why do you suppose I was in Resistance then?  Of course I need to be Loving and Gentle with that poor fellow, maybe even Empathetic) will be useful, leading either to your Rejected Genius (Ixion), or to the Skills hidden beneath your Held Emotions (South Node), or at least to other Limiting Beliefs (Vesta).

Of course you can always run through a list of the adjectives associated with the Signs and Houses and Angles of your Ixion and South Node and Vesta, and even Orcus – one of the few times when supposedly “negative” attributes, or the “negative” side of “positive” attributes will be useful.

Anyplace where we try to constrain ourself to some languagable characteristic, we know we’re stuck in an Archetype.  We are Infinite.  Of course, we’re also all Petty – Both/And.  But why dwell on our Pettiness, when we can dwell with our Infinitude.  Definitely spend enough time with your Pettiness, in all its forms, to Let Go of the Emotional Baggage constellated around it.  Fundamentalists, whether Religious or Scienterrific, want to Limit us to languagable Either/Or Wordings (not Beings) that don’t Frighten them.  Remember that a foundational tenet of their Beliefs is that Direct Communion with the Goddesshead – let alone identification with Her – is verboten; if it doesn’t pass muster with their User’s Guide, it’s insanity, and quite possibly actionable, at a minimum medicable.  

Those are dangerous people, you don’t want to hang out with them.  But wait.  If we eschew Self-Judgment, won’t we all be just clones of The Donald?  Well, I think we’ve proven to ourselves that we’re capable of Self-Judgment, even capable of Self-Examination.  And the bottom-line difference, capable of Compassion.  And capable of Curiosity.  It’s a good use for Curiosity – “I Wonder if I’m a poster child for that word that I have an unpleasant Reaction to?”  If we then Change the Subject, that might be a good way to induce Time-Travel back to our original unpleasantness, perhaps even to the time that we swore an Oath (Orcus) that “I’ll never be like that!”

It’s a fantastic time to Take Full Responsibility (Pholus, Stationary 6am 26 March) to Make Decisions that Have Survival Value (Quaoar, Stationary 1pm 29 March), such as Decisions that Celebrate Love, especially Self-Love (Sappho, Stationary 5pm 29 March).  I do believe that the denizens of this Planet are doomed until they figure out that they really need to Value above all the fact that “everything is alive, everything is ensouled, everything is related” (asteroid Hopi).

Bummers Rising III

March 23, 2016

Some folks objected to my referring to Bummers, but others, like this reader, thought otherwise…

“I loved one of your recents where you wrote…

‘An excellent test of how your very subtle Growth is progressing will be your sense of Being Violated.  Certainly not physically, but if you encounter Insults, Pay Attention.’

“It’s just schoolground taunts, but of course it’s a golden opportunity to revisit that sad little one on the playground of life.  And as you also wrote…

‘Take as much time as you need to start seeing the Humor in it.’

“So I’m smiling and waving adios as I move on down the road.  And I suppose I could also add Gratitude for the ones who are giving me a chance to remember that little one’s sadness enough to process it.

“I have to say the Confusion about new directions and The Whole Purpose of My Life is stunningly omnipresent, but I am working on The Most Important Thing, which I’m taking to be Deep Love for all my Inner Selves, especially those who were treated with indifference or cruelty by those I wanted to trust and receive love from.  Another one of my sources (Jonathan Zap) wrote…

‘Incarnation is not for sissies — not if you want to do it right.’

“And it’s clearer to me why so many refuse to revisit all that.  Even if you’re a cat, covered in scat, you would bite and claw the well-meaning human who wanted to bathe you.

“So the processing continues…  Huge emotional release this morning that I Tapped and Tapped through.  A croquembouche of tissues in front of me…  But that’s all krap that needed to be released up and out, right?  Deep gratitude for bathroom doors and ample paper products to clear it all out.”

Chiron and the South Node are both repositories for our Bummers, and when they convene, it’s literally Bummers Squared.  We can say that because Chiron Bummers are brightly lit flags pointing to places where our Limiting Beliefs are constraining our Lives, and because we know that Witnessing and Empathizing with Chiron Bummers will Tranform them into Grace.

And because South Node Bummers are dimly lit pointers to the places where we stashed some of our most Powerful Skills, hiding them behind Emotions that we’ll do almost anything to avoid Feeling – often “We’d rather die,” because that’s exactly what we have to do to reclaim those Skills, endure an Ego Death.

If you aren’t enduring any Bummers these days, that’s great!  I recommend two things…

  • First, Celebrate your Gratitude that you’re already Liberated from the Trauma that many of your peers are working through.  It wouldn’t hurt to have a bit of Compassion for them while you’re at it, maybe send them a prayer, or at least wish them luck.
  • And Second, seek out your own Bummers.  No one can say for sure what is Grace and what is Denial.  This is just practice; we’ll all be facing our Greatest Fears come June.  They’ll be Paper Tigers, but we won’t know that.  What does it matter that the Tiger is only Paper or Shadow, if we scare ourselves to Death Resisting it?  

I don’t normally recommend prying open locked dungeon doors, because Denial is a healthy psychological process, protecting our fragile Egos from Overwhelm, which can easily set Growth back for years if we don’t handle it right.  But in this case, where we’re being invited to Let Go of as much baggage as we can now, to make June easier, I think it would behoove us.  

Need a second opinion?  Here’s a good one…

http://bluedragonjournal.com/2014/04/12/archangel-ezekiel-greetings/

Upper Limits

March 3, 2016

A Reader shares a recent Dream…

In a bank, with a long line at the teller’s window.  I stood in the line, but then began playing with my toddler daughter.  At one point she said, ‘Mommy, I think it’s your turn.’  I went to the window, but the teller picked up the check and deposit slip and set it aside and told me sternly, ‘Sorry, you have to wait in line if you want me to deposit this.’  

“This made me very angry and I told my daughter, ‘I will just take my business somewhere else,’ and went to take my check back.  But the teller said, ‘Go back in line if you want this back’ (very sternly, like she was punishing me for enjoying myself with my child and not following rules).  This made me really angry, wondering how she could treat me like this.  I said I would call the cops, that this is illegal.  I felt hurt, brushed aside, helpless. 

“This triggered, when I woke up, really deep feelings of deep pain and helplessness with my children when they were very young, how being a single parent (my husband traveled all the time, and when he was home he didn’t do anything with us, and would get mad if I asked for help), dragging my kids along everywhere, them not cooperating, feeling helpless when I wanted to be a good mom and yet didn’t know how to handle them, tired, despairing, helpless, hopeless.  
 
“The pain was so deep, and yet, I did not even know I had it.  I cried and stayed with the pain while intending that I see though it and let it go.  I did appreciate being shown this pain that I did not remember, as it was certainly ‘mine,’ historically.”
 
This is a perfect illustration of what we refer to as “Held Emotions,” symbolized by the South Node.  It’s likely that this is not the first Lifetime in which our Reader has encountered this Archetype, as it’s a variation on the grip of Slavery that the Patriarchy has held over Women (and most Men, actually) for several millennia now.  These are the things we Tap Out or otherwise Stand Still for in Step Three of our earlier Aim Higher post.  Our Reader describes the Skillful job she did in Standing Still for the Pain.  
 
This is an Archetype, an Energy Field that exists apart from us as individuals.  Every time anyone Stands Still (as opposed to running away or hiding again) for a hurtful Archetype, it weakens.  This is Sisiutl, the two-headed Monster that turns to Stone anyone who holds its gaze.  Standing Still and closing our eyes, the Monster comes closer and closer, and as we endure its foul breath it surrounds us, its two heads see one another, and it is Sisiutl that turns itself to Stone.
 
Our Unconscious Limiting Beliefs have their origins in “real” historical or Karmic events.  When it’s time for us to stretch beyond them – as it is now, BigTime, as we described in Aim Higher – we often run into a re-creation of those events, as if the doorway is blocked by a Black Widow’s web, with Her Majesty in the center waiting for us.  The re-creation may be virtual or hardcopy.  It works like Karma – it doesn’t grasp us, we grasp it.  So if we Let Go, we can Liberate ourselves and dismiss the Limiting Belief in the process.
 
Hidden behind our Held Emotions and Limiting Beliefs, are the Skills we learned long ago, but forgot we had because they were buried by the Pain.  Those are the Skills we need to accomplish our Mission in the Lifetime.  This is the Earth Game.  It’s not about Stepping off the Treadmill, that’s just a story.  It’s about melting these destructive Archetypes, one Sisiutl Experience at a time.  Eventually, someone will melt the Last shred of that Field, and we will all be free of it.  You can see a Death Rattle of this Archetype in the Antichrist who’s running for the US presidency.
 
Gay Hendricks refers to these as our “Upper Limits” – when things are going too well for us, we invent something to bring us back to where we’re Comfortable, lest we be frightened by our own Light and the realization that we are “Powerful beyond Measure.”  There’s usually no need for invention, though, as our Personal and Collective Shadows hold many Monsters that can help keep us in line as our small self.  There is seldom only one encounter with these Monsters – they retest us to be sure we won’t fall back into their arms.  It gets easier every time, though.  
 
Here’s Genia Haddon’s description of this Archetype (Body Metaphors, p.20)…
“Patriarchal culture greatly elevates the phallic masculine qualities, expecting a subordinate all-yin feminine to provide sufficient counterbalance.  But unless relativized by the presence of the testicular [yin] masculine plus both the gestative [yin] feminine and the exertive [yang] feminine, eventually the phallic masculine turns pernicious.  
 
“The exaggerated phallus becomes intrusive, rigidly erect and unbending, hard, harsh, domineering, coercive, invasive, exploitative.  It results in the raping of the planet’s natural resources, questionably intrusive medical procedures, the proliferation of penislike instruments that shoot bullets and missiles, perpetual striving for dominance by powers and superpowers, dependence on rigid doctrine in religion, absence of contextual compassion in the legal system, and so on.”
 
In Genia’s view, the emergence of the Patriarchy, where the Whole is an Individual, was as inevitable as the initial emergence of the Matriarchy, where the Individual was merely a unit of the Community Whole, with no independent Identity.  In the Matriarchy, our Reader would not have been alone in her “duties.”  In this Perspective, the Yang Masculine will eventually yield to the Yang Feminine, where all Dualities defined by the Patriarchy will achieve equal status, and both the Individual, and any Groups it joins, will form Wholes, Wholes of Wholes.
 
In the Mythology behind astrology, it is Lilith – Yindependence and Self-Sovereignty, that symbolizes the Yang Feminine.  
 
In our Reader’s chart, her Natal Lilith completes a Grand Trine with Transiting Orcus and Chariklo, lending great Grace to her Liberation.  Orcus is the Punisher of those who would Betray their Oaths, one of the original enforcers for the Patriarchy.  Orcus symbolizes the sort of Guilt and Inadequacy she felt about her difficulties with her kids – and the Transcendance of that same Guilt and Inadequacy.  Orcus is like Sisiutl, and will turn itself to Stone when we Stand Still for it.  And of course Orcus Opposes Neptune, so her Natal Lilith completes a Transiting Neptune Kite, symbolizing that her Work on this Archetype, while Experienced as deeply Personal, is in fact a lot more than Personal, a Wayshower for the Collective.

Portal 25.1.16

January 24, 2016

Well, we’ve left behind that gorgeous Full Moon, but six rays of our seven-pointed Fairy Star remain, as well as the Potential for Insights that have the Power to Rebirth us.  We’re also Opening up to vigorous Expansion of our Consciousness (or vigorous Resistance thereto, your Choice – if you encounter vigorous Resistance to anything this week, you know you’ve come home to your Shadow), we’ll be Learning a great deal about Instincts and Manifestation, and by Wednesday we could put all these Energies together into a whole new level of Grace.  Let’s go through that again, one process at a time…

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  • Six rays of our seven-pointed Fairy Star remain; in other words, Magic is still afoot.  Enjoy it!

The six rays are Jupiter-North Node (Leaping forward toward our Mission), Asbolus (Intuition), Uranus-Vesta (Breaking through Archetypes), Ceres (Sustainability), Chariklo-Venus (Walking in Beauty), and Mars-Juno (Active Exploration of the Edges of our Consciousness).  It’s particularly lit up

  • Around 12:30 am PST (and a day or two before and after) on 25 January when Juno Initiates Mars
  • At 2am PST on 27 January plus or minus a couple of days, when Chariklo Initiates Venus
  • From 11am till 9pm PST on 27 February, when the Moon crosses Jupiter-North Node
  • From 5pm PST 30 January till 5am 1 February, when the Moon crosses Mars-Juno

If this isn’t Fun for you, Change your Attitude.  If you aren’t sure how, leave a Comment anonymously below and I’ll see if I can help.  To leave an anonymous comment, just add “Anonymous please!”  Without that addition, I might write about “a reader.”  

Use the incredible Power here to Manifest whatever you Want.  Do that by Confronting and Embracing all Resistance you have to it.  Usually that just involves eliminating negative thoughts.  “Yes, I Want Abundance, But no, I don’t Want to endure Slavery to get it!”  Or, “Yes, I want to be Healed, But I want some money left afterwards!”  Borrowing a trick from Dr. Kim, we can make our YesButs into YesAnds.  That might look like “Yes, I want Abundance, And I want Freedom and Integrity too!”  Or, “Yes, I want to be Healed, Lovingly, Gently, Rapidly, Completely, and Inexpensively!”  

It will take some Mirror work to find all the hidden Buts.  Ask yourself, “If I did get what I Want, what would be the downside or unpleasant consequences?”

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  • The Potential for Insights with the Power to Rebirth us also remains.

Dwarf Plutoid Haumea (Rebirth) is no longer standing completely still, but it’s still moving so slowly that we still consider it to be Stationary (Strong).  And its still the focus of a Mjolnir (Epiphany) on the Neptune-Asbolus Square (Opening up to your Guides and Guardian Angels).

It’s not about Doing, it’s about Allowing.  Go over your ToDo List and take each item and turn it into a Permission.  Rather than “I have to go to work” or “I have to get another job,” you might make it “I Allow myself to Receive [some reasonable number] dollars per week.”  You’ll have a thousand YesButs to that.  What you Want is to Receive the rewards.  Chances are you Do things you Love to Do, and you Do things because you get paid to Do them.  If the ‘twain meet, you’re one of the “Lucky” few.  Can you Conceive of getting paid without Doing anything, and without beating yourself up?

I know that’s a Stretch for most of us.  But it’s a Magical time to Stretch!  See how close you can get.  Monitor the Feelings in your Body to see what YesButs are still hiding in there.

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  • We’re Opening up to vigorous Expansion of our Consciousness.

Or vigorous Resistance thereto, your Choice.  If you encounter vigorous Resistance to anything this week, you know you’ve come home to your Shadow.  If the Resistance is in someone else, bring it home anyway.  You may need a Funhouse Mirror for the latter.  Suppose they’re Resisting what you Want.  Does that indicate a lack of Commitment on your part?  In some form, probably so, because if you were fully invested in your Intention, obstacles would fall away.  

So it’s likely that some part of yourself doesn’t Believe you’re ready yet, and the form of their Resistance may be a clue to what part of you is trying to keep you Safe.  

Juno (the Edges of Consciousness) Initiates Mars (Action) at half past midnight PST on 25 January, at 12 Scorpio, “An official embassy ball,” beginning a new two-year Cycle.  Rudhyar exposes his European roots by interpreting this Degree as “Group-consciousness as it flowers at the highest level in cultural exchanges between representatives of the elite of the ruling class.”  Wow.  

I went with a New Yorker friend to the opera once, and I was amazed at how the only reason folks seemed to be there was to Show Up and Show Off.  I guess if you admire Wealth and Power above all else, and you Believe that selling your Soul for it is what’s required, that’s probably appropriate.  My own interpretation of an official embassy ball would be more like “The opportunity to Witness the places where we Abandon ourself in favor of Other Peoples’ Expectations.”  And Heal them.

Mars-Juno is one ray of the Fairy Star.  It’s particularly lit up from 5pm PST 30 January till 5am PST 1 February, when the Moon crosses it.

We expand Consciousness through Differentiation or Discernment, not through Discovery.  So we Notice that we Do certain things because we think Other People Expect us to.  Having Noticed, we can look to see if we really Love to Do those things, if they’re a True part of our Deeper Self.  And if not, then how much does it cost us to Betray our Deeper Self in that way.  Is the tradeoff worth it?  What if it doesn’t seem like a Big Deal, but it Creates Stress that could threaten our Health.  Scan your Body to see.

Remember, if you’ve Created something once, you can Create it again.  If you’ve Created Abundance by Doing something that also Creates Stress, you’re likely to Believe that the Stress is a necessary part of the Abundance.  It’s not.  You just need to PIAVA Creating Abundance without Stress rather than Creating Abundance and Stress.  The Magic is here; use it!

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  • We’ll be Learning a great deal about Instincts and Manifestation.

Mercury (Mentality) is Stationary turning Direct at 2pm PST on 25 January, Conjunct Pluto (Transformation, ie, Trance Re-Formation).  Mercury-Pluto (Inspiration) Quintiles the South Node (our Hidden Skills), forming the base of a Lunar Quintile Yod (Learning how to Trust our Instincts and their Role in Manifestation).  

We consider our Response to the Moon to have three levels.  First, we see the Moon as Random Emotions, not Emotions consistently triggered by our Values, but variable Responses to the same Stimulus – someone cuts us off in traffic, and at times we’re Angry, but other times we just ease off the gas.  Second, the Moon represents our Instincts.  There’s a good chance that when we’re Angry, it’s in response to the Anger of the guy (undoubtedly a guy) who cut us off, and when we just ease off, the other driver is probably just rushing someone to the hospital.  

The Third level is Manifestation.  It’s Lunar Energy that keeps Matter from spontaneously returning to Energy.  When we have no Resistance in our Body, we Manifest at will.  As Dr. Kim says, there are no “negative Emotions,” there are only habitual Reactions to some Emotions that create unhealthy Stress in our Bods.  Many of these are Cultural (like the Emotional residue of the Crusades that we’re still dealing with), but many are individualized based on our personal inertial Karma.  If we Pay Attention, there’s a good chance we can become Conscious of some of our Unconscious self-sabotaging Patterns here.

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  • By Wednesday we could put all these Energies together into a whole new level of Integrity.

At 2am PST on 27 January, Chariklo Initiates Venus, at 6 Capricorn, “Ten logs lie under an archway leading to darker woods.”  We probably wouldn’t notice an inner-planet astroevent like this one, since, occurring annually we have plenty of Experience with it, but Venus-Chariklo is one of the rays of the Fairy Star.  Centaur Chariklo represents our Charm and Beauty, and Venus our Values, so if we align these two we’ll be Walking in more Beauty than is our usual custom.  However, ten logs block the way.

In spite of all the Magic and Grace and Dedication and Insight that we’ve described above, the path to Healing our Self-Sabotage is blocked by our addiction to Matter.  Grace is fabulous, but there is nothing like a Challenge to increase the probability of Discernment and the probability that we won’t just be Grateful for what befalls us, we’ll also be more Conscious of how and what we Manifest.  Our Belief that Matter is Primary, and Energy Secondary, is the Challenge for the next few weeks.  Note that Emotion is Energy.

With consummate assistance from the Medical Cartel, we bemoan – we become Victim to – a medical diagnosis, for instance, Believing that this “disease” has fallen from the sky like a Safe, while we just happened to be walking by.  We don’t connect it to our diet, our Belief that Stress is the requisite for Survival, to the poisons that the Chemical and Petrochemical Industries surround us with, to suppression of True Emotions, to the Childhood or Past-Life Abuse that’s demanding Healing but we’ve ignored all our Lives.

So our assignment is to put the Magic and Grace and Insight and available Energy to work.  Whenever we encounter a perceived roadblock or a speedbump, PIAVA that is be removed.  If it is, then it’s an affliction we were ready to Let Go of.  We don’t say “release it,” because we don’t want to renew our lease on it.  Remember, Karma does not grasp us, we grasp it – every time our “favorite” untoward events occur, we curse our fate, rather than Celebrating the opportunity to Respond differently this time and begin building a different Inertial Habit Pattern.  

If the obstruction doesn’t dissolve immediately, we have to Take Responsibility for it.  That’s Responsibility, not Blame.  Blame looks backward to assign cause to an effect.  Responsibility looks forward to start Creating a new Pattern that results in more desirable outcomes.  We PIAVA, Oh, if I Create my own Reality, then how did I contribute to that?  If we succeed in Changing the Subject and Paying Attention ( https://astrobuss.wordpress.com/category/manifestation/piava/ ) and maintaining our Curiosity, our role will become obvious.

Usually we Create what we don’t Want because two different parts of us – of varying degrees of Consciousness and lack thereof – Want two different things, and we have a Karmic Belief that they’re incompatible.  We want Success, for instance, but our Health interferes, perhaps because Dad always told us that Big Stress is necessary for Big Success, while the Body Wants the sort of Health that less Stress provides.  So the Body warns us that Big Success without Health is kind of empty, enlisting our Belief that our Health is in the hands of the Medical Cartel, not in our own hands, to do so.

So for persistent roadblocks we need to find out what part of ourSelf Wants to protect us from the downside of what we’re Consciously trying to achieve, and appreciate that Want.  It’s not about Success versus Disease, it’s about Success and Good Health.  There’s no conflict in Reality, only in our Beliefs.  We can Choose to have Success and Good Health, usually by intending and discovering how to Compromise our True Self less.

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The Energy will feel a bit less friendly by early February, but if we’ve maintained our focus on the opportunities to Let Go of Bummers rather than Grasping them, we’ll recognize that this Cleansing is just rinsing a little deeper.

By the end of January we’re moving into the field of the 6 February Sedna (Actions instigated by Fear) Station, and the Initiation of Ceres (Sustainability) by Nessus (Undeserved but Claimed Privilege) on 2 February and by 2007 OR10 (Irruption of Material from the Deep Unconscious) on 4 February.

Healing

December 25, 2015

I want to recommend again the series of internet interviews that we mentioned in our Gut Healing post, https://astrobuss.wordpress.com/2015/12/23/gut-healing/ .  When you sign up, at…

http://naturalgutcures.com/ 

they send you four downloadable interview transcripts.  I’ve only read one of them so far, the interview with Dr. Axe (sic), but it’s fantastic.  I highly recommend that to everyone.  He left out two critical facts.  GMO foods are crafted so as to be immune to a potent weed-killer, Glyphosate.  Glyphosate saturation in GMO foods may be far worse for our health than the genetic manipulation itself.  Dr. Axe’s first recommendation for healing is to stay away from antibiotics – and Glyphosate is an FDA-approved antibiotic.  

The bad news is that Glyphosate is used on many if not most non-leafy-green non-organic foods, usually just before harvest, as it’s a desiccant that causes the plant to die quickly, making the seeds or fruits easier to harvest.  There’s a strong chance your neighbor uses it on his lawn, as it kills all broadleaf plants.  So the second critical fact is that to heal gut issues you have to eat 100% organic.  Nit-picky, label-reading, 100% organic.

Now, note that most non-gluten packaged foods are not organic!  So in the effort to avoid gluten you may be drowning your gut microbiome in Glyphosate instead.  Oats have no gluten, but they’re usually processed on equipment that processes gluten-containing foods, so they’re contaminated.  When you see non-gluten Oats, they’re processed on machinery that’s never seen wheat or barley.  I react to gluten.  But I can’t eat the most popular brand of non-gluten Oats – while I can eat the organic Oats in that brand – it’s the Glyphosate.

Finally, hurrah, hurrah, we’re beginning to see organic and non-gluten.  For instance, check out…

http://www.gethappycampersgf.com/

And their breads are delicious!  They’re regional, but they ship all over the US, and the packaging is robust enough that the bread will endure that just fine.  Here’s another organic gluten-free pioneer…

http://jovialfoods.com/gluten-free/

I haven’t tried their Chocolate cookies, but their Sour Cherry cookies are great (the Fig cookies are alas too dry).

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Here’s a little different perspective on the Light and Darkness issues we presented in our Yintegrity and Inanna post, https://astrobuss.wordpress.com/2015/12/24/yintegrity-and-inanna/ , from California Craniosacral Therapist and Energy Healer Jim Gilkeson at https://jimgilkeson.wordpress.com/2013/08/16/where-have-all-the-healers-gone-2/

“The First Noble Truth of Buddhism is that suffering is here to stay; it is part of the human condition.  In the face of this, the archetype of the Wounded Healer might give us some direction in this question of who is a healer.  

“To me, it looks like this: the Wounded Healer is the one who has embraced a fundamental paradox of healing: that we are not healed from our wounds, but rather in our woundedness.  

“The idea here is that a true healer uses her own wounds, her own confusion, pathology and illusions as her starting point.  Through her own suffering, she makes common cause with the suffering of the world.

“As a result, the wounded healer understands that she is operating in a world that is essentially unhealable.  But she also understands that there is plenty of surplus, unnecessary suffering, which is healable.  Examples of surplus suffering would be AIDS and other epidemics, genocide and torture, because they arise mostly out of human choice and ignorance.  While the fundamental problem of suffering is a given, we can use our skills to reduce surplus suffering.

“Another way to express this paradox is that when we locate what is ultimately unhealable, we get our direction.  Look at the worst thing you can imagine.  Look at what has wounded you most deeply.  The darkness you have encountered sooner or later enables you to become a guide to others who are in darkness.  The wound you have becomes the source of what you have to give.”

“Seen archetypically, a musician is a ‘servant of the muse,’ a willing vessel for the spirit of music.  A visionary artist is likewise one who is a servant of an archetypal force.  We can see this in the talented leader, teacher, minister, doctor.  Find the wisest, most dedicated of them, question them deeply and they will probably tell you that they have found a way to be vessels for something larger than they are, and in a sense, they are serving the spirit of their calling.

“Why not consider ‘healer’ from this angle? . . . as a servant of the spirit of healing, a spirit present in all of us and throughout all of life, present in the way your skin heals when you cut yourself, present in the way our bodies and emotions and spirits find a way to mend themselves, a spirit akin to the push of nature every spring.”

Interesting that the interviewer talks about Dr. Axe’s credentials as what Jim would call a Wounded Healer.

Which inevitably brings us to Chiron, which is Unx to the Uranus that’s Stationary as we write.

In my experience, it’s the Witnessing, the stepping outside of one’s Suffering and looking back at oneself with Empathy that creates the shift from Woundedness to Healing.  As Einstein said, more or less, we cannot solve a problem using the same thinking that postulated the problem.  As with astrological Squares, an unsolvable problem remains unsolvable till one shifts one’s perspective, till one invites the Cognitive Dissonance that Castaneda spoke of.  I’m always reminded of the old Xerox advertisement, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVpuwa5nnm4 .

Yintegrity and Inanna

December 24, 2015

I’m delighted to have gotten permission to link to these fabulous essays on the Cultural and Spiritual context of our Yintegrity and Gender-Balancing work…

https://eldermountain.wordpress.com/2015/08/23/light-who-loves-her-sister-darkness-the-perils-of-rejecting-the-shadow/

Neptune, which literally symbolizes our Cultural and Spiritual context, is the head of a Mjolnir Kite that we need to add to our Holiday Shopping post ( https://astrobuss.wordpress.com/2015/12/19/holiday-shopping/ ), as by Friday morning’s Full Moon, Mercury has moved around to Square Eris, with dwarf planet Orcus taking up the tail of the Kite.  

The Oaths that gave away our Sovereignty to the Patriarchy are one of the biggest collections of Oaths that we need to forswear.  As Orcus informs us, in order to facilitate Change we need to Stand Still for the Punishment that Orcus would deal us for abandoning our old Oath – that is, we need to endure the Paper Tigers of our Held Emotions or Karma if we are to be Liberated, as the parable of Inanna and Ereshkigal illustrates.  When we are Present, we realize that the Held Emotions that we’ve been Resisting for Lifetimes are actually no longer Real.

But what if we had our fingers crossed.  When we swore allegiance to the Patriarchy, to Yangtegrity, did we really forswear our earlier Oaths of allegiance to the Goddess?  I mean, are we still Eating?  Where do we think Food comes from?  It’s not the freezer at Carrefour, even if that’s where it appears to come from.  Sure, it wouldn’t hurt to dust off our Breatharian Skills, but realistically, how many of us?  I know, the Patriarchy provides more Poisons than Foods, but the roots are still with the Goddess, even as perverted as the Corporations have been able to make it.

Of course we have to ask what Venus and Mars are doing, and their Dance is intriguing.  I hope to be able to add illustrations again soon, because it would be a great help.  In the Jupiter-Trine-Sedna-Unx-Eris-Trine-Pholus/Ixion-Square-Jupiter Trine Fez, Venus and Mars evenly split the Square twice – that is, Jupiter Unx Mars Unx Venus Unx Pholus-Ixion.  The Unx or Twelfth Harmonic is about new Perspectives and surpassing our Karmic Patterns.

So Pattern-Breaking in our Gender Balance is not only front and center, it’s about Taking Responsibility for Growing into our Orphaned Genius.  Here’s a mind-blowing example of out old Oaths and the Patterns to be Broken…

https://eldermountain.wordpress.com/2015/12/23/behind-the-name-symbolic-roots-of-the-matriarchs-in-the-old-testament/

Mars (and Haumea) Opposes Eris, and Venus Opposes Sedna.  This adds two new Quincunxes to the Trine Fez: Fez-Haumea to Sedna and Venus to Eris, and these cross the diagonal Quincunxes of the Fez, creating another Dos-Equis Pattern akin to the Yin Gate Configuration, and also creating Yods shouting Pay Attention! to Sedna and Eris.  Among other Energies, this highlights the Sedna-Eris Unx, which implies that…

Our Insights into what’s till now been Denied…

Eris is the tail of the Mars Mjolnir Kite on the Saturn-Orcus Square, which we wrote about in Holiday Shopping.

…will have much greater Power because they’ll be Breaking the grasp that our Fear has had on us; we’re likely to be Present enough to see that our Held Emotions really are, in the Present Moment, Paper Tigers.  And this is likely to help us Break even more out of crippling obsolete Gender stereotypes.

There’s more here in this Christmas-Present Uranus-Stationary Full Moon.  The Mars/Haumea-Eris Opposition is T-Squared by Mercury, and Mercury also completes a Grand Trine with Jupiter and Sedna, while Unxing Pholus-Ixion.  This should add complementary Understanding to our Liberation.

Orcus I

December 4, 2015

So yes, if we promise Mom and Dad we’ll never do that again, but we slip up and let it happen, then you bet we’ll get Punished.  For the Etruscans, who brought us the Mythological Orcus, it probably wasn’t so much Mom and Dad, as Allegiance to the Etruscan League – which was pretty much under constant seige by its neighbors.  

And we all, except for the Newcomers, have Adventures like that in our Karmic portfolio, where if we wanted to Survive we had to Swear Allegiance to one Warlord or another.  Even the Newcomers probably got it in their preparatory Simulations.  We can Witness the same Drama being set up again in the US this week, as the propaganda machine creates another Either/Or where “You’re either with us or against us.”

This is the primary Mastery through Challenge influence in the Orcus “Discovery” chart, as Orcus – which we can read as Obedience to our Oaths or simply Yangtegrity (Doing what we said we would do) – Opposes a Conjunction of 2007 OR10 with the Sun.  So the basic Second-Harmonic or Opposition issue (Contradistinction) is Self-Control, as OR10 represents irruptions from the Unconscious, which are always a constant threat to Yangtegrity.  And the Second Harmonic itself – symbolized by the Priestess – is all about defending a Dogma.  Or not.  

The Opposition is T-Squared by a Stationary (Strong) Pholus, symbolizing Responsibility.  So the Challenge is basically “Who ya gonna call?”  Are we going to Trust our own Instincts (the irruptions), or our Oaths.  The Contradistinction is heightened by Uranus (our Soul Urge, or Yintegrity, which means Doing what we damn well Feel like doing moment to moment, aka Trusting our Intuition) Conjoining Sun-OR10 – setting up a classic Yangtegrity versus Yintegrity Conflict, with Responsibility – Maturity, our Cultural Burden – making the Choices.  Right out of Lord of the Flies.  

I mean, who among us didn’t grow up with these kind of Choices always front and center.  If our natal Saturn or Neptune wasn’t Stationary, anyway.

But remember, a T-Square by our reckoning stands for Mastery through Challenge.  So we don’t emphasize the Conflict in a T-Square, we emphasize our vast Experience with the Conflict.  Consequently we advocate that we Witness and Empathize with the enduring and ongoing Trauma that the Challenge has given us, while shifting our mental attitude from being a Victim of the Conflict, to acknowledging that we’ve dealt with this sort of Conflict so often that we are actually Masters of it.  That’s not what it Feels like, but when we assess it objectively, that’s what it is.

It’s a very clear Choice – do we take a step in the direction of Freedom (Yintegrity), or do we continue in Slavery (Yangtegrity).  Or, put the other way, do we take a step in the direction of Responsibility (Yangtegrity), or do we continue towards Anarchy (Yintegrity).  Well, with the Uranus-Pluto Cycle at the Waxing Square stage, we would suggest that moving toward Yintegrity is a step toward Flowing with the Zeitgeist.  But it’s not quite that simple.

We also need to redefine Responsibility.  It means Being Able to Respond, and in a strong sense, Being Able to Respond rather than React.  Where is our Fulcrum?  Do we almost always move toward Yangtegrity, or toward Yintegrity?  Do we weigh each circumstance and make a Conscious Decision about which way to move?  Do we make such a Decision with the mind, or with the Heart, or the Belly?  Recognizing that the mind will probably lean toward Yangtegrity, while the Heart and Belly will probably lean toward Yintegrity.

So this primary layer of the Orcus Discovery chart is about “Growing Up,” but not in the sense of Choosing Yangtegrity over Yintegrity, as most of were made to believe Growing Up meant – most of our schoolteachers leaned toward Yangtegrity after all, or they wouldn’t me schoolteachers.  Growing Up in the sense of Taking Full Responsibility to get Conscious of and Challenge our automatic Reactions, so we can make situationally appropriate Decisions about when to support our Liberation directly, and when we can afford to lose a battle in order to win the War.

So we can see Orcus to be about Decision points, Tripping Points.  Do we bite the propaganda bait and Live in Fear and Hatred and Us Versus Them, or do we Trust that the World is moving toward actually Looking in the Mirror and Taking Responsibility for the Reflections of our own Shadows, realizing that Them is actually Us and that we actually have Nothing to Fear except Hatred itself.  Who, after all, is the Arms Merchant to the World?

As Elizabeth points out, we’ve often maintained that the strongest chart is one combining Much Energy and Motivation, with Much Grace.  In this first layer of the Orcus Discovery chart, the Pholus T-Square qualifies as Much Energy.  Is there Much Grace?   Yes, a fat Grand Trine, with Orcus itself the corner shared by the T-Square and the Grand Trine.  The other two planets in the Grand Trine are Pluto (the Mandatory) and Eris (Revelation of Denial), heavy hitters!  

So the Grace arises from Paying Attention to the Punishment and Paying Attention to what we’re Denying, or rather, since that’s an oxymoron, PIAVAing that we become Aware of what we’re Denying.  Whether we ultimately step toward Yang or toward Yin, we want to Pay Attention to the threat of Punishment, preferably by Witnessing it and Empathizing with our Victim of it – Present-Moment, historical, and herstorical.  Historical means “What happened?”  Herstorical means “How did that Feel?”  Present-Moment means “Where are the scars?”

Another element in the chart is a Quincunx Bridge across the Opposition, formed by a Moon-Nessus Conjunction.

Which introduces another prominent Question – what is this teaching us about the Patriarchy?  That’s not a Question we want to Answer, it’s one we want to hold as a Perpetual Curiosity.  It’s no secret that Yangtegrity is what maintains the Patriarchy, and that the Patriarchy is overdue for a decline, as Yintegrity rises in prominence.  If your Karma runs through Jeanne d’Arc, after Empathizing with your Punished Victim you may well Choose Yintegrity even if you’re Risking Punishment again.  

Which brings us to another Complexity – the Oath may not be your own.  As a member of a Tribe or Commune or Gender or Nationality you may be assumed by your compatriots to have sworn such an Oath.  You could then be Punished by a different Tribe or Gender or Commune or Nationality for your assumed Oath, or punished by your own Tribe or Gender or Nationality or Commune if you’re caught betraying the Oath you never made.  Or both.  Justice is usually spelled JustUs.  The correspondence of the Oath with the Flag reminds us that the Flag is turning into an Eagle which is turning into a Chanticleer Heralding the Light.

The Yangtegrity view that Yintegrity is akin to Anarchy is another propaganda wall that must be breached as Yintegrity waxes.  If you’re watching Football or Futbol, you know that one of the most critical skills a player can have, is knowing when to be unerringly steady to his or her appointed role, and when to step outside of that role to cover a teammate or take advantage of an opportunity.  These are very Yang games, yet it’s often Yintegrity that creates temporary heroism.

Wanna and Shooda

November 25, 2015

The Most Important Thing at this Full Moon (and for two weeks after) appears to be Paying Attention to anyplace in your Life where you feel Doubt or Conflict or Resentment – an Either/Or, maybe one that you’ve been struggling with for several years now.  The Either/Or probably boils down to Wanna versus Shooda.  On one side, “I Want to…” (phonetically, “I Wanna”), on the other side “You Should…” or in the case of a Regret, “You Should Have…” (pronounced “You Shooda”).  We already have a huge clue, don’t we.  “You Should” isn’t our voice talking to us like “I Want” is.  “You Should” is someone else’s voice that we’ve Internalized, Merged with, making their Energy a part of our own.

We don’t even care whose voice it is, though when we spend a few seconds Being that person it’ll be obvious.  We may know who it is before we even do that, but it’s good to check just to make sure.  It could be a composite of several people.  Wanna/Shooda is the quintessence of our Mask-Dropping Uranus-Pluto Yintegrity Issues.  What an incredible waste of Energy, source of Stress, and ultimately cause of Dis-ease.  So how to Heal it?

Well, it’s a natural for Fritz Perls’s two-chairs strategy.  Wanna sits in one chair, and Shooda in the other.  “You” bounce back and forth between the two chairs.  Wanna starts the game by asking Shooda, “What is it you Want?”  (Want is kind of Wanna’s specialty.)  Then you move to Shooda’s chair, pull on Shooda’s Personality-jammies, and try to answer honestly.  Keep trying until you find a positive Want for Wanna, something you both can get behind.  It’ll probably start by having something to do with reducing Shooda’s Anxiety (“I was afraid you’d get hurt”), and gradually move toward something to do with Wanna’s Safety or Comfort (“I Want you to be Happy!”).

Problem is, if we follow Uranus-Pluto’s siren song, we’re going to run up against all of the Yes-Buts that have ruled our Life – and Limited our Joy and Genius – so far.  Yes you Want to be an Artist, but do you know how many Artists starve to death?  Uncle Xavier was an Artist, and you know what happened to him.  Look how comfortable and confident Aunt Bee, the Engineer, is.  She was able to retire at 40!  Or maybe you really Enjoy solving complex mechanical problems, but Shooda only respected starving musicians.  Shooda may never have looked to see what you Enjoyed, or what you had effortless aptitude for.  Or they may have known what you had natural Skill and Joy for, but had no respect for it.

Wanna more or less personifies your “Pathological Genius,” the Unique Skill that of all the Entities on the Planet, only you can Master.  It’s not a Competition between you and all the other Wannabe Masters; Competition is Shooda-think, us versus them, Either/Or.  It’s about the Unique Skill that only you can contribute to the Collaborative Teamwork that will rescue the Planet from the waterfall a decade or two downstream.  Wanna-think is Both/And.  If we follow Fritz’s Gestalt far enough we may get to the place where Wanna and Shooda work together Win-Win.  That’s Power, Ease, and Health.

You’ll probably also need additional work – rewrite Dawson Church’s Tapping sequence to extend the theme, “I Seem to Believe that I Should Do Different Things than I Want to Do” or “…I Should Be Different than I Want to Be.”  Some well-thought-out PIAVAs probably wouldn’t hurt either, such as “I Wonder what it would be like to have my Shoulds Support my Wannas.”  And a few well-placed “You poor Sweetheart, you’re really Shoulding on yourself, aren’t you” Self-Empathy sessions with your Wannas wouldn’t hurt.  Follow-through is important.  Eliminating Self-Sabotage and Self-Limitation are well worth the Perseverance.  Think of the “Successful people” you know.  You could be like them.  If you Wanna.

Asteroid and dwarf planet Ceres completes a Grand Trine with the Moon and Mars-Makemake in the Full Moon chart, which creates a Kite focused on Sun-Saturn-Mercury.  So, as CAO Elizabeth points out, the Full Moon chart is one of those Maximum Power charts – a chart with a Grand Cross providing strong Motivation and Energy, while a Grand Trine provides strong Grace.  So the strongest planet in the Chart is Saturn – The Most Important Thing.  But, what is it that’s The Most Important Thing?  That would be the Opposition from Orcus to the Conjunction between Neptune and 2007 OR10.  Which is to say, the apparent Conflict between Confusing Material irrupting from the Unconscious, and Oaths we made in the Past.

Merging with another Huper – the source of our Shoulds – is the equivalent of an Oath, and probably involved Oaths directly at some point.  The major beneficiary of the chart is the Venus-Uranus Opposition, with it’s back-to-back Mjolnirs.  So the Confusing (ie, Growth-Oriented) Material is likely to be closely related to our Yintegrity.  Our Yintegrity-defying Masks are the embodiment of our Shoulds, and our Pathological Genius (which is a close cousin to our Yintegrity anyway) “contaminates” the irrupting Unconscious Material through a Novile (Occult) to Ixion.

Since the Venus-Uranus Opposition combined with the Grand Cross yields six eighths of a Grand Octile, we can say that the chart will be much easier than it could be, because Octiles are about Adjusting and Rebalancing, rather than big Challenges, or having to start from scratch – which is appropriate since we’ve already completed our freshperson, sophomore, and junior years at Yintegrity U.  The Vacancy between Sun-Saturn and Neptune-OR10 is 20 Capricorn, “A hidden choir singing during a religious service.”  The Moon-Orcus Vacancy is 21 Leo, “Intoxicated chickens dizzily flap their wings trying to fly.”

We can Consciously facilitate the process of Reforming our Shoulds, so they’re on our side, by Listening for the quiet voice of Intuition, and by developing a sense of humor about our Efforts.  For instance, it’s consistent that the more I hear my own Shoulds saying “Oh, this is bullshit” while I’m writing, the more people respond that what I’ve written has touched a chord for them.  So I’m better off seeing myself as an intoxicated Chicken singing hymns, than I am trying to act like a serious scholar of the Stars.