Archive for the ‘Codependence’ Category

Paranoid Thoughts II

June 6, 2018

A couple of quick notes about the previous post…

First, we mentioned “Shifting our Approach to Ego Death, toward Love and Excitement rather than Fear and Resistance” and some may have wondered how the devil we could be Excited and Loving about Ego Death.  I mean, we’d probably usually have to be awfully miserable to be Excited about Dying.  But an Ego Death is just a Molt. 

When a Crab wriggles out of its old shell, it’s so they can Grow.  Their old shell is rigid, and they can only get exactly as big as the shell before they need to trade it in for a bigger one.  Turns out the Crab is a fabulous metaphor for Ego Death, because once they wriggle out, their nascent new shell is soft, and they have to hide out till it hardens, in order to avoid being a tasty meal for someone else.

So instead of Resisting Ego Death beforehand, then afterwards wallowing in the residue of our Resistance (such as the repercussions of the Limiting Oaths we spoke of in the last post), we can Choose to Recognize that an Ego Death is on its way, and Focus our Attention on the Excitement we’ll feel when we’ve cast off that old Limiting Shell and are Free to Explore New Possibilities.

Of course many of us, much of the time, Are our Ego, so it’s not trivial to just step aside and say Okay, I’ll Die now.  In Buffalo Gals, Ursula talks about how “Coyote is always dying!”  Coyote is a clever one.  So what’s an easily-remembered trick for stepping outside of the Ego into the Ethers?  Michael Pollan talks about this quite a bit in his new book How to Change Your Mind, but I think just “Poor-Sweethearting” yourself is a lot quicker and easier.

“You Poor Sweetheart, are you feeling like you’d rather Die?”  Then of course you’d pause to see if the Bummed You had anything to say to the now-Empathic You.  And preferable Change the Subject to see what might happen next.  Then after a while you could see if any remnants of the Bummed You was still about, and if so Ask them, “What would your Next Life be like for you if it was Pure Heaven?”  Then the two of You could talk about it and come up with something Exciting that you could both Love.

We need to take one other Lesson from Mr. & Ms. Crab – hide out for a while after an Ego Death.  We’ll be very Vulnerable and Tender, a virtual Newborn, and we’ll need extra Care and Protection.  And we’re the best person to provide it, since even our Most Loved ones may be motivated to take advantage of our Vulnerability and Manipulate us (No Blame, we all do it).  Meditation, Introversion, Introspection.

Second, you may have experienced that (lack of) transition from Nessus (Abuse) to the Dan Scranton Channeling (Ascension) as a bit abrupt, so I wanted to be explicit that the more we can Clear our Abuse Traumas (which turns out to be the same as Clearing our Abuse Expectations), the more we can move our Life into Expectations of Grace. 

Who knows how or “by whom” it’s being or been engineered, but given recent astrological processes, it doesn’t seem like a coincidence that the Nessus Station precedes the “influx of energies that are coming our way… as part of the solstice” (https://astrobuss.wordpress.com/2018/06/01/solstice-i/).

After the Nessus Station (9 June) and before the Solstice (21 June 3am PDT), we have two more Stations, or rather, one more double Station, as Makemake Stands Still 16 June (7pm PDT at 3 Libra) and Neptune 18 June (4:30 pm at 17 Pisces).  When two Stations occur close together, it’s as though the two planets are Conjoining.  Since Neptune and Makemake Conjoin only every 51,000 years, this is a rare opportunity for us.

Neptune is about anything Bigger than we are, and especially everything Bigger than our Ego.  For instance, Group Souls, including Cultures, are prominent in the realm of Neptune, as are the notions of God and Goddess.

If you’ve ever noticed how you Act and Talk differently in the presence of one person, than you do in the presence of another, or how someone else does this, you’re looking at different Group Souls.  Of course in all probability Codependence (the disinclination to displease) will be involved, probably to a larger extent, but Group Souls are also active there – and we can productively examine our Codependence by looking at it through the window of Group Souls.  How does your Codependence differ when you’re with different people or different groups?

When in the Solstice I post Dan’s Arcturian friends speak about…

“If you can think more as a being in a collective, rather than as an individual, then you can band together and…”

They’re talking about our Neptunian Identities.  And when they finish the sentence with…

“…in your co-creative power, you can make broad and sweeping changes on planet Earth.

They’re talking about Makemake, as Makemake is all about Manifestation.

Neptune is now 167 Degrees ahead of Makemake.  That’s nine twentieths of the way ’round the Zodiacal loop.  The Twentieth Harmonic is the Aeon, signifying the sort of Wisdom that encompasses “longevity, history, and broad perspective” in all circumstances, to quote Angie.

New readers may not know that we use Angeles Arrien’s Tarot Handbook as our guide to the Angular Harmonics.

And the Ninth Harmonic is about Meditation, Introversion, and Introspection.  Sounds like we’re Converging toward…

“This is a shift in consciousness, which means nothing in the physical realm is going to be responsible for making it happen.  It is the true nature of consciousness to expand and evolve, and therefore, as you make it your mission not to do something in the physical realm, but instead consciously evolve, you are joining the team.  You have opportunities every single day.  They come to you in the choices that you are being given.

“And you can help yourselves and help the entire universe at the same time by making the choice that is more inclusive than exclusive.  You can help by processing your emotions.  You can help by making eye contact with someone else and helping that person understand that he or she matters.  You can be kind instead of being right.  You can forgive.  You can send transmissions of love and compassion.  You can speak your truth, be true to yourself, and love yourself no matter what you have done, or said, or thought.”

As Dan said in the previous post.

Snakes and Ladders I

May 20, 2018

With a huge Reset going on here, it makes more sense to use Birth-chart Sensitivity or “Orb” – 6-8 Degrees, rather than our usual 3-Degree Current-Moment or “Transit”-chart Sensitivity, so we’ve Compromised to a degree.  All of this month’s Stations occur in the same 0-to-9-Degree Zone, and the early-June Nessus Station is at 10 Degrees.  ‘Tis a busy chart.

We should start with the “biggest” Configuration, which is a Grand Cross (Hassles Galore, but they’re often Mutually Complementary) and a Grand Trine (Blessings Galore) with common corners.  This is traditionally considered an “ideal” chart, as it combines great Energy and Motivation (the Grand Cross) with ample Grace (the Grand Trine). 

That is, however, a Colonialist Perspective, where the most Celebrated Traits are Effort and Successful Exploitation of Others.  The current Western Patriarchal and Hierarchical Cultural model, in other words, where the Strong win over the “Weak” (including those with different Life Goals, which are by definition Weak).  The Prize is Ego Inflation, Confidence, and Privilege.  Aka Corruption and Abuse, when seen from underneath. 

We can see this playing out in the news all over the Planet, as this Game is the stock and trade of the Declining Patriarchy.  There’s nothing Abusive or Colonialist or Patriarchal about a Grand Cross-Grand Trine (“GC-GT”) chart itself; it’s the notion that it’s an ideal chart that’s Patriarchal.  There’s a sense in which being born with such a chart “condemns” one to a Life of Effort and Achievement.  But Effort and Achievement can readily be directed toward non-Patriarchal Goals like Community, Collaboration, Balance, Flow, Attunement, and the like.

Here’s the Grand Cross-Grand Trine version of the chart…

We’ve drawn the chart for the time when the Moon reaches the Midpoint between the 18 May Atropos Station (Endings) at Degree 1 and the 21 May Klotho Station (Beginnings) at Degree 0.  You can see that the other two Fate asteroids, Lachesis (the Length of a Timeline) and Moira (Fate or Choice) are close by at 6 and 5 Degrees respectively.  [In case you’ve forgotten, we always round Degrees up – 29 becomes 30 or 0, 0 becomes 1, etc.]

The Grand Trine is extended into a Kite by Chiron, but if we focus first on the primary GC-GT elements, it’s the Atropos-Eurydike-Makemake (Endings-Trusting-Creating) Stellium (a group of 3 or more planets) that’s the overwhelming Star of the chart, as the corner where the GC and the GT converge, as well as the location of the Atropos Station.

So the first thing we need to do is talk about the Cusp of Libra, which is as important as the Aries Point (Cusp of Aries).  At the Aries Point a Seed of Spirit is planted into the fertile soil of our Soul.  At the Libra Cusp we meet Other for the first time.  Aries-to-Virgo is about our Personal Development, Libra-to-Pisces our Social Development.

We are, All of us, as Individuals and as Members of Groups of all sizes, entering a whole new phase in our Relationship to Other Individuals, and a whole new phase in our Relationship to Community.  In a nutshell, we’re now Creating our own Social and Relationship Realities (Makemake), Dropping our Olde Obsolete Patterns around Relationship and Culture (Atropos), and Trusting that we’re going in the right direction (Eurydike) even though we seem to be Betraying Mom’s admonition that “You cannot do that, it breaks all the rules you learned in school.”

Keep that in mind when you’re tempted to be Motivated by Guilt or a Need to Please Others at the Expense of your own Values and Needs.  Expect your Self-Sovereignty to be Tested as we approach 27 May (the Eurydike/Trust Station), when we’re likely to be Tempted to turn back to our Olde Codependent Ways when our old playmates complain that they are being Betrayed by the Shift in our Values and Behaviors.

Which is where Chiron comes in.  The Kite shifts the focus of the GC-GT to Chiron, at the top of the Kite.  Atropos-Eurydike-Makemake (Trusting-that-We-Can-End-Impediments-to-Manifesting-What-We-Want) becomes the Tail that Wags the Dog, and the Dog is Chiron or Despair, Despair that we “can’t win” – we get little Support for trying to Go Our Own Way, but the rewards for running our old Patterns are diminishing rapidly.

Until of course we Empathize with our Despair – “You Poor Sweetheart, you’re feeling like you can’t Win, aren’t you.”

The other two corners of the Grand Trine, from which our Blessings flow, are

  • Taking an Active Part in our New Beginnings (Mars-Klotho), which will probably seem Confusing and Difficult until 21 May, when Klotho Completes its Station.  Confusion is the first stage of Growth.
  • Following our Essence (Sun), our Heart, or our Guidance, which in the midst of Rapid and Big Change, can also be Confusing.  We may be in the Habit of Resisting our Fate in favor of Choice, but in this case we’re Asked to Choose to Accept our Fate, because our Fate is Transformation (Moira Conjunct Sun).

A final Caveat.  If you have Expectations about What-It-Will-Look-Like-When-You-Go-Your-Own-Way, rest assured that they’re Dead Wrong, no matter how Psychic you’ve proven to be in the past.  This is a New Game.  Yes, if you’re Intuitive you’ll Recognize Home when you see it, but it’s the Vibration you’ll Recognize, not the Form. 

If you’re eager to Play It Forward, focus on How-It-Will-Feel-When-You-Go-Your-Own-Way instead.  And make the Effort to Revert to a Blank Slate before noon PDT on 21 May, so you can be Surprised and Delighted when it Feels Even Better once Klotho Completes its Station.

Another Complication – at 11 am PDT on 22 May, Orcus Completes its Station.  Orcus is about Pattern-Breaking.  So even after noon on 21 May you might still be a prisoner to  your Olde Archetypes.  So feel free to focus on How-It-Will-Feel-When-You-Go-Your-Own-Way, but you also want to PIAVA that you can Gently and Lovingly and Rapidly and Completely Let Go of All Patterns and Habits that Inhibit your Soul’s Destiny and your Ego’s Transformation to Supporting it Fully.

Close your Eyes and Look around for any Cables, Chains, or Dark Spots, particularly behind you.  One at a time, Gently remove the Barbed Hooks at your end of each Cable or Chain, and hand it back to its Source.  If its Source won’t take it, feed it to an Alligator.  Alligators are very Skilled at this Work.  One at a time, put a Mirror between you and any Dark Spots, facing the Dark Spot, then switch on the Bright Light that aims into the Darkness from the top of the Mirror.

Scan your Body for any Foreign Feelings – crawling or goosebumps or raised hackles (but not just your neck).  Put your Attention into that Hole in your Aura, and PIAVA that your Self-Sovereignty and your Essence Lovingly and Gently and Rapidly and Completely patch the Hole, Permanently, with your own Energy. 

You’re likely to feel Vulnerable there for a couple of days; consider the fact that you can now Feel your Vulnerability as evidence that you’re Healing – till now you were Unconscious of the Wound.  Like a Tick or Mosquito, your Programmers distracted your Attention before they installed the Hooks.  Whenever you’re Conscious of Feeling the Vulnerability, Fill it with your own Heart Energy.

More to follow.

Portal 1.5 III

May 6, 2018

As we mentioned in the previous post, “There are other Changes going on as well” – that is, other Initiations or Conjunctions or Changes of the Nature of the Field or Trance that we’re Embedded in.  I missed one in that post…

  • Revelation of what’s been Denied Initiating Ego Death (Eris Initiating Nemesis)

until Marilyn Raffaele reminded me…

http://www.onenessofall.com/newest.html

Choosing to to remain locked in some particular belief system in order to please others or simply ‘keep the peace’ is a surrendering of personal power. This does not mean that you abandon family and friends unless it becomes necessary which it sometimes does.  It simply means that you stay centered in truth and alert to the temptation to align with any beliefs the group may hold but that you no longer resonate with.   Life becomes  being ‘In the world, but not of it’.”

Though Marilyn’s Channeling would also fit perfectly well with…

  • The Most Important Thing Initiating Letting Go of Codependence (Saturn Initiating Hylonome)

And with the fact that by now we’re deep into the Energy of the first Station of May, the 8 May Station of asteroid Vesta (1 am PDT at 5 Capricorn), which herself symbolizes Beliefs.  Unconscious Beliefs have a particularly strong hold on us because when we don’t Discern their existence, we never Reconsider them.  When they start to become Conscious and we begin to Question whether they Serve us or the Planet, it can be particularly disruptive, often even Blasphemously, to Relationships based on Mutual Belief.

So many of our Beliefs are Installed by our Programmers, using Repetition, “Logic” (such as “You wouldn’t want someone else to do that to you, would you?”), Story (Snidely: “Did you hear what Soandso did to Whozit?”), and particularly Shaming and other forms of Abuse.  Shame is one of the hardest Belief Traps to Escape from, because it’s a Feeling so Distasteful that we never want to do the Work Exploring it.  Abandonment can be as Difficult, as it can create a Blank Spot in our Awareness.

Many others of our Beliefs are Karmic and Enforced by other Held Emotions, Emotions that are equally Distasteful as Shame to us personally, Emotions that we’d “rather Die” than Experience again.  To break free of these we need on some level, Voluntarily or otherwise, to endure the Ego Death (Nemesis) that breaking out of our cage often requires.

Another of the “other Changes going on as well”…

  • Fear Initiating Fate, or Embracing Fear as Power Initiating Choice, depending on whether the Universe is Perp or Partner to you (Sedna and Moira)

is also well covered in Marilyn’s Channeling…

Words and actions that flow from an evolved state of consciousness are capable of triggering a new state of awareness for those seriously seeking a higher way for themselves and the world.  Many are on the verge of awakening at this time and those satisfied with the status quo are becoming a minority.  Some who have always lived in fear are now reclaiming the power they ignorantly gave away and feeling comfortable instead of fearful doing it.  You are on the verge of much change in spite of appearances but you must be patient and allow the process.

“We wish to speak to the idea of security which in the third dimension primarily revolves around vulnerability and separation, concepts designed to keep the majority locked in fear.  The only real security there ever is or will be is already fully present within you.  Safety and security is the automatic manifestation of the conscious realization that there is nothing you need to protect yourself against.  This is your protective work, not the hundreds of material concepts believed necessary for personal survival.
 
“The third dimensional belief system holds that there are millions of people, places, and things you need protection from–diseases, bad people, dangerous places and anything deemed dangerous by those in authority.  If there is only ONE, who or what can there be that you need protection from?”

Gauntlet III

April 12, 2018

A reader writes…

I’m really trying to sit back and remind myself that it’s only yet another layer of karma.  But oh my goodness, how am I going to get through this alive and in one piece? 

Or is the whole point of this to get broken into pieces and remould myself later…”
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I hear ya!  There are a lot of Issues Lit Up, they’re all Heavy, and – fortunately – they all Complement one another, so if we can Hang On, there will be immense Healing going on.  One of The Most Important Things is not to try to Think It or Figure It Out. 
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Modulate the Heavy Emotions as best you can with Tapping, Kegels, Breathing, Poor-Sweethearting, and PIAVAs, especially PIAVAs that include some equivalent to “Loving and Gentle.”  Modulate the Regressions to other Timelines as best you can by repeatedly bringing yourself back to the Present Moment. 
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Whatever is Dominating your Experience, shift to a Different Modality.  For instance, if your Emotions or your Interpersonal Circumstances are barely (or even Not) tolerable, Ask yourself “What’s going on in my Body Physically?” and Focus there.  If you’re in Physical Pain, Ask yourself, “What Emotion would I be Feeling if I could do Emotions right now?”  If you Feel like the Goddess has Abandoned you, put your Attention on something Beautiful.
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If you’re stuck in a Solutionless Hyperloop in your Mindbone, who’s the primary Other in the Drama?  Imagine holding a wardrobe Mirror up between you and them, facing them.  Hold it for a few minutes, to see if you Feel more Grounded, while you watch to see if they try to stretch tentacles around the Mirror (expand the Mirror), or try to “come around to the back” (use a Dome-shaped Mirror if you need to; Intend that it Allows Air in).  If the Mirror doesn’t help, try the second candidate for primary antagonist – living or dead.
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If it’s a Arbitrary Authority that has you in its grasp, hold your Mirror up to whomever taught you to Obey that Authority more than your Own Instincts, Intuitions, and Intelligence.  If you’ve Personalized the Authority, Dare to hold the Mirror up to the vaunted Personage.  I mean, what would Jesus Do?  He Melts my Mirror and floods me with Love and Mirth.  What does your Air-Hero do?
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Here’s the chart we’re in…
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As you can see, the Hylonome (Becoming Conscious of Codependence) Station (Strong Energy thereof) and the Saturn (The Most Important Thing) Station are in the same Zodiacal location and only a few days apart.  So The Most Important Thing is Becoming Conscious of our Codependence.  Codependence just means that we let someone else, or some Thing else (such as an Unconscious Archetype or Belief, or an Abstract Authority) make our Decisions for us, leaving us without Choice.  As we’ve seen Choice and Consciousness are pretty much synonymous.
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We face three main tightly-coordianted Challenges here, in addition to Untangling The Most Important Thing from our Codependence (which is a Challenge, but not one we’re likely to Master here, as the two Energies are hopelessly Merged)…
  • Facing Codependence as The Most Important Thing involves Ego Death (asteroid Nemesis Squaring the Hynonome-Saturn Stations – heavy lines)
  • Healing Abuse involves Setting New Boundaries that Keep us Safe (Pallas T-Square on Orcus-Nessus Opposition – light lines)
  • Making our Dedication to our Mission Sustainable involves Facing our Held Emotions (Nodal Axis with Ceres on the North Node – light lines)

As John Muir says, “The minute we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the Universe.”  I mean, these are really all the same Issue, just seen from Different Angles, and it’s an incredible Gift from the Universe to be able to Let them Heal One Another.  If we can stay out of their way.

So let’s look at the ways they Heal one another…

  • The Ego Death-Codependence Conundrum is Embraced by two PIAVAs (the Nemesis-Hylonome/Saturn Square is part of a Trine Fez, and we deal with a Fez by attending to the diagonal Quincunxes)…
    • “I wonder about the Relationship between my Codependence and the Sustainability of my Mission” – Not Think about but Wonder about (Ceres-North Node Quincunx to Stations).  Sort of the way you Wonder about how in the devil that gorgeous, brilliantly colored Butterfly just crawled out of that brown turd-like valise!  (If you’re a biologist, Wonder instead about the Night Sky instead.)
    • Ganishi, Please Remove All Obstacles to Reverting my Limiting Oaths with Loving and Gentle Ego Deaths” – our Oaths (such as “I can never tell anyone or he’ll Kill Mom”), if they are Limiting, are protected by Integration with Ego (Orcus Quincunx Nemesis)
  • Our Like-It-or-Not Focus on Healing our Codependence (see above) AND our Attention to our Mission (see below) both represent Easy ways to Master our Boundary Challenges (Both Hylonome-Saturn, and the Nodal Axis, Trine-Bridge the Pallas T-Square on the Orcus-Nessus Opposition)
  • Our Ego Deaths facilitate Movement toward Sustaining our Mission (Nemesis Trine-Bridges the Nodal Axis)

So being Loving and Gentle with our Ego Deaths turns out to be one of the Levers of Power.  PIAVAing that will help, because Ego Deaths aren’t an intellectual process, nor a Power-Over process – we’re attempting to Manipulate the Unconscious.  One of the most Powerful ways to soften an Ego Death is to recognize that “I’d rather Die!” and “I feel like I’m Dying!” are literally untrue as we usually interpret them.  We naturally put our emphasis on the Die/Dying part, whereas what’s really happening is that the accent is actually on the “I” part.

“I’d rather Die” means yes, an Ego Death would be preferable to Re-experiencing our Held Emotions and Traumas, which is great.  When we’re Conscious that an Ego Death is occurring, they’re Easy.  We just recognize that Confusion is the first sign of Growth, Accept the Confusion as an Emotion in its own right, without trying to Fix it, and bang, we’ve mid-wifed our New Identity.  It has some re-orienting to do, so a little Confusion will remain for a while, but we’re basically done.

“I feel like I’m Dying!” is just code for “Oh, there’s my Held Emotion!  Aren’t I Delighted to finally get that out in the Open where I can be Present and Loving with it, because hiding in the cave like it’s been, it Sabotages my Entire Life!”  Make that Reframe and you’re likely to feel tremendous Excitement instead, as you watch the detritus falling off of your Future Timeline.

Bon Voyage!

Oh, one more thing.  Hidden in the chart are several light purple lines that make a wedge pointing at Vesta-North Node.  This is a “Quintangle,” a wedge make up of two Biquintiles (Learning to Break out of Dogma) and a Quintile (Learning and Teaching).  The object of the Lesson Plan is Sustaining our Dedication to our Mission, and the curriculum involves Beliefs (Vesta) and Confusion (Neptune).  Learn to regard the Emotion of Confusion as one of the Greatest Gifts you can Receive, as long as you Celebrate it without trying to “Figure it out.”