Archive for the ‘Self-Sabotage’ Category

Boundaries III

February 11, 2019

A we mentioned in Boundaries, “Other, of course, isn’t just Other Hupers.”  We’ve been writing about Libra and Pallas for several days without realizing till now that Other and Boundary are really the same concept or word, just seen from different Perspectives.  Without a Boundary there wouldn’t be an Other, and without Other we’d never have the notion of Boundary.  It’s all about Identity, which is a lot more Fluid than we usually think.  And about Duality, which is a lot more Limiting than we usually think.

We Hupers usually think of the Veil between us and the Other Side as more of a Limitation than a Boundary, but Boundary it is, and the Other Side is as much an element of Libra as your paramour.

“He was not wakened again by Alder, but he had a bad dream of his own.

“He was standing by a wall of stone near the top of a long hillside of dry grey grass that ran down from dimness into the dark.  He knew he had been there before, had stood there before, but he did not know when, or what place it was.  Someone was standing on the other side of the wall, the downhill side, not far away.  He could not see the face, only that it was a tall man, cloaked.  He knew that he knew him.  The man spoke to him, using his true name.  He said, ‘You will soon be here, Ged.’

“Cold to the bone, he sat up, staring to see the space of the house about him, to draw its reality about him like a blanket.  He looked out the window at the stars.  The cold came into his heart then.  They were not the stars of summer, beloved, familiar, the Cart, the Falcon, the Dancers, the Heart of the Swan.  They were the Other stars, the small, still stars of the dry land, that never rise or set.  He had known their names once, when he knew the names of things.

” ‘Avert!’ he said aloud and made the gesture to turn away misfortune that he had learned when he was ten years old.”  (Ursula Le Guin, The Other Wind, pp.12-13)

“We who have true names keep them when we die, it’s our use-name that is forgotten… This is a mystery to the learned, I can tell you, but as well as we understand it, a true name is a word in the True Speech. … When my master Aihal died, my wife was there with him; and as he was dying he said to her, ‘It is changed, all changed.‘  He was looking across that wall.  From which side I do not know.”  (ibid, p.45)

“Kalessin said: ‘Long ago we chose.  We chose freedom.  Men chose the yoke.  We chose fire and the wind.  They chose water and the earth.  We chose the west,  and they chose the east.’

“And Kalessin said: ‘But always among us some envy them their wealth, and always among them some envy us our liberty.  So it was that evil came into us and will come into us again, until we choose again, and forever, to be free.  Soon I am going beyond the west to fly on the Other Wind.  I will lead you there, or wait for you, if you will come.’ …

“Then Kalessin said, ‘Once we were one people.  And in sign of that, in every generation of men, one or two are born who are dragons also.  And in every generation of our people, longer than the quick lives of men, one of us is born who is also human.  Of these one is now living in the Inner Isles.  And there is one of them living there now who is a dragon.  These two are the messengers, the bringers of choice.  There will be no more such born to us or to them.  For the balance changes.’ ”  (Ibid, pp.167-68)

We can also compare our day-to-day Experience with that of Daphne Charters and her friends (Forty Years with the Fairies, pp.260-61)…

“This work, in which we all assist, is known as a transformation.  We seek and find a lost soul whose astral body, as well as the physical, has died, leaving no trace to normal Astral eyes.  However, because we cannot see a ‘dead’ person, owing to his faster rate of vibration, it does not follow that he has no body.  So it is with those whose vibrations have sunk through the years until only the Great Ones know where they lie.

“We find these people by their vibration, however slow and, although we are unable to see them when we reach them, we mark the spot and direct rays of power and love upon them until their vibrations are sufficiently raised for the bodies to become visible to us.  This is the first stage in the rehabilitation of ‘lost souls,’ as much power has to be directed to them over sometimes long periods before consciousness returns.

“In order to achieve even the first part of the transformation, it is necessary for many hundreds of people from the Astral to gather together.  By passing power through their bodies, it becomes sufficiently coarsened to be effective amidst very slow vibrating matter.  This is where Daphne is of use to us, for her physical body vibrates slower than those of us who live on the Astral, a higher plane, thus power which is passed through her coarsens the whole.

“Unless you are clairvoyant, you will not have seen a display of power so you cannot know the magnitude of the volume, or the intensity of light.  Fairies can naturally see this power for it is their life’s work to distribute it, but normally they know only the quantity which they can collectively produce in their own group.  Our own fairies, who always help us, are ever amused at the never-ending supply so we were interested to see how the delegates would be affected…”

“How different is the power which we witnessed today to that which is known by the same name on Earth.  Man ever seeks for power to overcome his neighbors, to add to his possessions, or to acquire authority over more people.  Today we were privileged to see the essence from which all these petty misnomers have their being.

“But this true-power, in its purity of purpose, performed a deed so wondrous that if men were told of it, they would not believe.  If only those who sought to misuse it understood the condition in which they will find themselves when their ridiculous, puffed-up physical bodies and accompanying personalities are no more, perhaps they would then use it to lift up instead of to crush, to comfort rather than exploit, and, in the happiness which they would at last know, they would find the key to a better world.”

So, I was Wondering about the Other planet in Libra, Makemake.  And it turns out that, at least for now, the Bottom Line of Makemake in Libra is that If we Want to Manifest What We Want, we have to Seek Out and Revert our Victim Postures.  Drawing up the Makemake chart for the moment when Juno enters Gemini – ie, when we are likely to be due for substantial Consciousness Expansion (8:30 pm PST 10 February)…

…Reveals two big Challenges (T-Squares)…

A Challenge to Manifestation itself (Makemake) between Making it a Value of ours to be Fully Responsive to our Survival Instincts (Venus-Pholus-Quaoar) and Choosing Consciousness over Fate (asteroid Moira).

Fate is what happens To Us when we’re not Conscious of what’s going on.  It’s not about Why but rather about What.  What’s the Pattern?  When our Repeating Bummers happen, what Precedes them?  When “bad luck” befalls us, there’s a sequence of events that leads up to it.  We aren’t talking Cause & Effect – that’s a left-brain dead end.  Useful if you’re Stuck in the 3D Dynamic Masculine Creative process, but Obfuscating if you want to use 5D Magnetic Feminine Manifestation methods.

PIAVA that you become aware of What Precedes your Self-Sabotage.  If you already knew what it was you’d have fixed it long ago.  It’s behind your Blinders, and you won’t see it without enlisting the Cooperation of the Unconscious – that is, using PIAVA.  For instance, “Lord Ganesh, Please Remove All Obstacles to my Realizing How I Stumble into Self-Sabotage.”  Once you get Conscious about these Patterns, you can Choose otherwise.  https://astrobuss.wordpress.com/category/manifestation/piava-review/.

We’ve been working with Responding Fully (Pholus) to our Survival Instincts (Quaoar) – ie, Disallowing our Yes-Buts that try to Protect our Routines – for a long time.  We’re running out of Excuses.  It’s past time to Accept this as a basic Value.

The second Challenge is about Reframing the Beliefs Created by our Victim Postures (Vesta-OR10-Nessus) between Ego Death (Nemesis) and Sustainability (Ceres).

Like our Survival Instincts, we’ve also been working with our Abuse Memories for a long time now.  First we have to Retrieve them – or Allow them to Retrieve us (OR10), and Acknowledge their Reality.  Then we have to Empathize with our Real Victim, Revert any Blaming-the-Victim behavior we indulged or encountered, and Deal with our Real Emotions.  That usually takes a lot more than a few hundred Poor-Sweethearts, though they can be useful.  https://astrobuss.wordpress.com/category/poor-sweetheart/.

People talk a lot about Forgiveness, but in a real sense what we need is the Opposite of Forgiveness, as our original Tolerance was a form of Forgiveness to begin with.  We don’t Forgive; we Discover that we’ve Forgiven.  It’s an Observation, not an Action.  As with Self-Sabotage, we need to Discover what Preceded our episodes of Abuse, so we can Learn to Recognize the Pattern before it turns Abusive, and Choose Otherwise.  While Sharing all this increases the Pain, it’s often very difficult to do alone.

Yes, just about every step in the process of Clearing Abuse – Recall, Acceptance, Self-Empathy, Embracing our Real, Explosive Emotions, Opening to the Patterns – requires an Ego Death (Nemesis).  Our Resistance to Ego Death must be Reframed, so we Recognize when it’s happening and Learn to Celebrate it as the fastest route to Living a Better Life.

And as we move through Abuse, we have to Recognize that we’re likely to be Abused in some ways every day.  Every “trivial” unkind remark, Intentional or otherwise, can make us Feel Less-Than.  So we have to get very good at Recognizing it, Owning and Healing our Reactions, and approaching Ego Death as we would a Latte, in order to make this whole process Sustainable (Ceres).

And Sustainability-Ceres is the kingpin of the whole chart, as it is the head of a Kite that connects the two T-Squares.  A Kite is a Grand Trine (three planets equally spaced around the Circle) with a fourth planet halfway between two of the three.  The fourth planet – Ceres – becomes the Focus of the substantial Dumb-Luck Blessings served up by the Grand Trine.

So we have a Golden Opportunity to bring these Challenges – Cleaning Up our Manifestations by Choosing to Support our Survival Instincts, and Rooting Out the Limiting Beliefs that our Abuse History has left us with – into Resolution, where they Serve our Deepest Desires rather than Sabotaging them.

The three corners of the Grand Trine, or Big Grace, are Manifestation (Makemake), Ego Death (Nemesis), and The End of Karma (asteroids Atropos and Karma).  We’ve actually been working on the Death of Karma for a lot longer than we’ve been working on Abuse Memories or Responding to Survival Instincts.  The Realization in the Western World that Karma is about Inertia rather than Retribution has been with us since Alan Watts’s books in the 1950s.

A corollary is that Karma does not Grasp us, we Grasp it.  Like our Other Challenges, Letting Go of Our Karma involves Noticing when it’s recurring, Reverting our Belief that it’s Inevitable, Discovering the Patterns that led up to it, Noticing when those Patterns Begin the next time, and Choosing an Alternative.  The Death of Karma is a Given in this Drama; it’s not something we’re being Scheduled to work on, it’s something that we can use as a model for the Abuse and Survival Issues we are working on.

Dragon, of course, is a synonym for Karma, and as we saw, Dragons have gone to fly on the Other Wind.

20-25 Degrees

June 2, 2018

Aa apparent newcomer has written to ask about their many natal planets at around 20 Degrees, in response to our October 2016 suggestion that we begin working with these Degrees now, since they will be Lit Up when our Home Planet begins Her Big Reorg in the early 2020s – see https://astrobuss.wordpress.com/2016/10/20/2020-b/ for our article and their comment. 

Of course, as we repeatedly point out, these Degrees continue to be Lit Up by many of our planetary Companions today.  As we write, one quarter of the planets we follow are in or adjacent to this Zone, which is only one sixth of the Zodiac wide.  It’s a useful question, so I’ll answer it…

Our approach is to intend to befriend the Unconscious because we Believe that the Power of the Ego is minuscule compared to the Power of the Unconscious, and because the Ego is usually Unconscious of that fact.

We also intend to work not with Qualities but with Energies and Relationships, and therefore we work mostly with what we call the “Angles,” though most astrologers would call them “Aspects.”  We prefer Angles because that’s what they are in plain language – the Angular Relationship between Planets (and other astrological Hot Spots such as the Nodes).

Unfortunately there is an astrological term “Angles” as well, meaning the Ascendant, Midheaven, etc., or the major House Cusps.  We can usually live with this ambiguity because we very seldom talk about Houses, since we write for the whole planet, and House positions vary with location.  Folks who commonly use the astrological term “Angles” may be confused by the way we use the word, alas.

Most astrologers I know would not argue that the T-Square (a third planet halfway between two planets that Oppose one another) is one of the most problematic Angular Relationships, largely because it usually seems to indicate a Sisyphean area where Success is not possible but the Compulsion to Keep Trying is unrelenting.  Consequently, the most appropriate keyword for the Ego’s Relationship to a T-Square seems to be Frustration.

We also Believe that, (1) on a Soul level, we Chose the Configurations of planets in our natal chart, because that’s what “We” (our Soul) wanted to “Work On” in the current Lifetime.  Many folks have difficulty with this concept; the easy path to it lies through shifting your Identity till you find a place from which it’s True.

We often also interpret the Configurations in our natal chart as (2) the specific Earth Energies where we Chose to help the Planet Heal. 

The first approach assumes that our Soul is using the Planet for its own Education, while the second approach assumes that we are in fact Cosmic Healers who came here to Help Earth Ascend.  Take your pick, though as usual, I recommend Both/And rather than Either/Or.

Since our reader has Uranus T-Square to their Nodes, I have no doubt that they’re in the latter category.

As Ascension Helpers, then, our T-Squares indicate the places where our task is to suck up all the Frustration (Fear, Anger, Despair, Separation, etc) that the Planet Feels, and Transform it (we are after all nothing if not Energy Transmogrifiers) into what the Planet Prefers to Feel (Joy, Bliss, Attunement, Excitement, Unity, etc). 

How do we know what the Planet Prefers to Feel?  Easy.  She and We are One.

Note that more or less implicit in that paragraph is that Emotions are not Personal, but more like Weather or a Virus.  We Attach our Identity to an Emotion when we Associate or Merge with it, which is usually part of our Karma, or, we would suggest, because we came here to Learn and Teach how to Detach our Identity from that Emotion (look up “Poor-Sweetheart” and “Held Emotions” in the Categories list to explore further).

So, in the planets our new Friend has listed, we’d go straight to the T-Square, Uranus Square the Nodal Axis.  The Egoic side of Uranus is Disruption, and the Egoic side of the Nodes is the Desire to Let Go of Karma.  So we would suppose that our Friend, on the Ego side, is (or was, if he’s since Grown) often Frustrated by Attempting and Failing to Let Go of sticky Karmic Patterns, or what we often call Self-Sabotaging Archetypes. 

For instance, our Friend might try over and over to walk a “straight and narrow” path, only to wake up and discover that they’ve strayed from it.  Or worse, they might find that other people are repeatedly screwing them over…

Now, let’s turn this around and look at it from the Soul’s Perspective.  First of all, what Uranus Disrupts is everything that Inhibits its Purpose. 

Since most of us were Programmed to Receive Truth from Outside ourself rather than Inside, the Karmic Ego will be constantly Frustrated by the Uranian Disruption of our frequent Attempts to ignore our own Internal Truth in order to be Loyal to our Programming and Programmers. 

Truth resides in the Heart, and it’s Different for everyone, so only by Programming someone to Trust their own Heart (Uranus) can Uranian Disruption be Loved as the Urge to Liberation that it is.

Now, again from the Soul’s Perspective, the Nodal Axis is not so much about the Desire to Let Go of Karma as it’s about a Decision over which Earthly trends to emphasize.  Contrary to the usual Interpretation, Karma does not Grasp Us, We Grasp It.  So all we have to do, to quote Paul, is to “Let It Be.”

The Signs will give us more specific information. Our new Friend’s South Node is in Aquarius and North Node in Leo, indicating that their Intended (Soul-level) path runs from Social to Personal Integrity.  Learning to Love themselves Unconditionally, for instance. 

Meanwhile, Uranus is in Scorpio, which is Fearless and Relentless.  So our Friend is likely to be Driven to stop at Nothing in their Effort to Learn and Teach Unconditional Self-Love.

Which is Fantastic!  Now, what if the Ego and Programming still get in the way and continue to Sabotage us with Downers?  (Which may never actually go away, just become more quickly seen through.)  Well, Reframing help a whole lot…

A T-Square Feels Like the Compulsive need to Achieve greater Perfection around some Goal.  In this Uranus-in-Scorpio case, that would be Permanent Soul Contact.  Or, if the Soul is Dismissed, then something like an Irrepressible Urge to Disrupt Untruth. 

But even the part about Permanent Soul Contact is the Ego and Programming speaking.  If you’ve taken graduate seminars in a good program, you probably Noticed that there are no “correct” answers, there are only “interesting” questions and examination of them that is thorough and creative.

That’s where you find the T-Square – on the Soul level you’ve Intended a Lifetime where you re-examine everything over and over again, with slight variations, each time from a slightly different Perspective, so you become uniquely qualified to Teach the subject, since you’ve Experienced it from all angles, inside and out. 

And of course the key to all that is Noticing that there are no “correct” answers and that your Perfectionist Quest, while essential, was not for the purpose that you earlier supposed.  That’s the way our Mission (North Node) operates – we have a Shadow to Pursue, till we pounce on it and Discover that it’s just a Shadow, like Ged in Earthsea.

Once you’ve done this Reframing, Frustration will continue to try to sneak back into the driver’s seat, and that’s where Poor-Sweethearting, Tapping, and PIAVAing (look them up in the Categories list and practice them) will be useful and Powerful.

The ultimate Goal for all of us is Unconditional Self-Love, so eventually you’ll be Teaching us all.  Which we eagerly anticipate!

Thanks for writing.  Namaste.

Gauntlet VI – Mercury

April 14, 2018

The Direct Station of Mercury is fairly straightforward…

It wouldn’t hurt us to interpret Mercury as Insight, if we can Differentiate In-sight from Anal-ysis.  It’s tempting, to those of us with proclivities or training or Programming to be “left-brained,” to think that Analysis is a critical Skill, but when we look at it closely we find that Observation is the heart of it; the rest is Conclusion, which is the equivalent of gassing and pinning the Butterfly, Ossifying the World.

The Star of the show is (Insight into) Letting Go of Impediments to Trusting our Ability to Manifest what we Need (Atropos/Endings-Eurydike/Trust-Makemake/Manifestation Stellium), even if/as the World as we know it falls apart. 

A note on Interpretation – we could certainly Interpret Atropos-Eurydike-Makemake as Ending our Trust in (our Ability to) Manifest rather than Ending Impediments to same.  But why would we want to?  I suppose we could wish that sort of curse on our Competition, but that would be so Patriarchal, wouldn’t it.

In this context we’re Challenged to Master (T-Square) carving Survival-Sabotaging Unconscious Beliefs out of the collection of Perception-Inhibiting Blinders that Limit our Insights (Vesta-Quaoar).  If you Notice the light purple lines, the “Quintangle” that we spoke of at the end of Gauntlet III remains in effect; Learning to Differentiate Survival-Limiting Beliefs is a core part of our April curriculum.

Detoxing our Survival-Manifestation machine is aided by Respect for All Things (Hopi Trine Bridge across the T-Square); hint: ferret out your Judgments – they’re Mirrors for your Self-Sabotaging Beliefs.  Intrusive Memories will also play a role, but a more subtle one, as we’ll have to PIAVA how they’re Related to the price of Insight in Loompaland (2007 OR10 Quincunx Bridge).  Like that heavy flushback I had this morning – “I Wonder how that’s Related to Beliefs that Limit my Ability to Manifest Survival.”

There’s a Challenge of some sort between Respect for All Things and the kinds of Flashbacks we’re likely to Encounter (Waning Square from asteroid Hopi to dwarf planet OR10).  The Hopi-OR10 Cycle is about excavating the Memories that caused us to Ossify a Judgment into our Belief Collection.  I almost wrote “Belief System,” but there’s nothing Systematic about our Beliefs, they’re really more of a motley collection.

The current six-year Hopi-OR10 Cycle began in March 2014 at 3 of Pisces, “Petrified tree trunks lie broken on desert sand.”  How appropriate.  At the Waning Square our Assignment is to Let Go of all the Work we’ve been doing for the last four years to promote Respect for Disparity.  Not that either Respect or Disparity will be declining, it’s just that the methodology we’ve been using to promote them is obsolete, and it’s time for us to Let the whole Issue Go so the Work we’ve done can Integrate with the rest of Reality. 

In other words it’s time to Change the Subject around our Memories of Discrimination.  For now, que sera, seraI wouldn’t regard it as an accident that Letting Go of Memories of Discrimination is Lit Up at the same time as the Edgy Love and Denial Timing issues that we discussed in Gauntlet V.  One they’ve served as Insights into our Impediments to Manifesting Survival, they need to be Let Go.  We don’t need any of the lingering grudges that we could easily Create around them.

Some Insights that Dan Scranton’s Arcturian friends suggest for us…

http://danielscranton.com/accessing-fifth-dimensional-abilities-%e2%88%9ethe-9th-dimensional-arcturian-council/

You have awakened within you the abilities that are associated with the fifth dimension, but you do not know how to access them yet.  It is like buying a new technological gadget that you’ve never seen before and not having any instructions available to you.  So as you feel for the abilities within you, please recognize that your acknowledgement of them is the first step in gaining full access.

“You won’t be able access these abilities by lamenting the fact that you haven’t accessed them yet.  That is counterproductive.  So what you want to do is focus.  You want to focus on how these fifth dimensional abilities feel as you contemplate them.  We are talking about telekinesis, telepathy, and teleportation, specifically.  There are others as well that you will become aware of as you continue on in your journeys.

“Feel for the power that is within you.  Feel for it vibrationally.  Do not wait until you have full access to these abilities before you feel how powerful you are.  Many of you have already taken sneak peeks at these abilities.  You know that at times you access them, if only for an instant.  You also know that you are becoming your higher selves, and with that means greater access to so much more than these abilities.

“We recommend that you don’t get fixated on them or on any one of them.  Instead we want you to continue to feel for your power and feel for the consciousness and the vibration of your higher self.  Your higher self has the instruction manual.  When you act, speak, and think as your higher self would, you bring yourself into harmony with that which you most desire.  And in so doing, you help others gain access to their higher self and to their fifth dimensional abilities.

You are about to have a lot more fun than you’ve been having.”

It’s PIAVA that’s the gateway to these Abilities.