Archive for the ‘Self-Doubt’ Category

A Gift from the Heavens

January 20, 2023

Our ever-watchful Chief Asteroid Officer has noticed that 45 minutes before the 22-23 January 2023 Station (Prominence) of Uranus (Our Soul), Venus (Our Values) and Saturn (The Most Important Thing) Convene and Initiate a New Cycle. The Venus-Saturn Cycle should Obviously be ranked among our Most Critical Cycles. At the times when our Values are NOT The Most Important Thing to Us, we Betray Ourself. While such Self-Sabotage is a result of our Programming, our Programming is a Mirror for our Karma, since Programming is how much of our Karma was installed into the Current Lifetime.

If you’re reading this, one of your Most Important Values is Enlightenment, aka Ascension or 5D. A primary prerequisite for Enlightenment is to Clear our Karma. That’s more Difficult while our Karma remains Unconscious, so Noticing our Karmic Patterns becomes Bottom Line. We get this Opportunity every time our Karma is Triggered, which includes every time we React from our Programming rather than Responding from our Values. Enlightenment means that our Ego and our Soul are Merging, and that can’t happen as long as Karma has a Leghold Trap on our Ego, which is exactly what Karma does for a Living.

This is a particularly Important Window for those of us who were Programmed to favor Thinking over Feeling, because as Jung said, People who Prioritize Thinking are Irrational, because they’re not in Touch with their own Emotions and therefore not in Touch with their own Values, since Values arise from the Heart, not the Mind. Many of us are much more Aware of Our Thoughts About Our Feelings than we are of Our Feelings themselves. Too many of us haven’t yet Learned to tell the difference.

Many of us first need to Learn to Find our Emotions, buried under the Thoughtstorm that they evoke. It can help to Focus on the Sensations that arise with Emotion. When we’re trying to Think Through a particularly difficult Conundrum, we can Ask ourself, What Is my Body Telling me through its Sensations? rather than What is my Mind Telling me through its Thoughts? Emotions (Water) and Sensations (Earth) share the same Style (Magnetic), as we explained in the previous post, so they tend to Collaborate.

Emotions and Thoughts (Air) have Opposite Styles, so they tend to Conflict. So Emotions and Thoughts are in Competition with one another before we even Feel or Think. And thanks to Western Medicine, with its ban on Intuition and its Intense Advertising Campaigns, we also have to Struggle with and get beyond our Thoughts about our Sensations (“O My Goddess, is that Cancer?”). We have to Focus on Where our Sensation Resides in the Body and What It Feels Like there, while Rejecting Thoughts the same way we do when they Intrude on our Meditations – “Oh, there’s Thinking Again. Thanks for Contributing, but we’re Doing Something Else now. Where was I?

Venus-Saturn Value-Priority Cycles last about a year. The Cycle that’s Ending spanned 10 months, but the New Cycle will last 14 months, till the Aries Equinox of 2024, because Venus slows down and turns Retrograde in the Northern Summer and Southern Winter. Angles between Retrograde planets are called Expositions because they Expose the internal workings of a planetary Relationship. Consequently, they’re more educational. In this Retrograde part of the Cycle1 we may be more Alone than we usually prefer, because we’ll be Learning to Appreciate our own Unique Strengths, some of which we’ve theretofore never Appreciated or even Noticed.2 Knowing Ourself – our Natural Strengths and the situations where we’re better off Delegating to Others or to Spirit – is an Essential Foundation for Enlightenment.

The New Cycle Begins in 25 Aquarius (Honing the Inner Witness in order to Rebirth Intelligence). Without Realizing the Connection to Lonsdale’s interpretation for the Degree, in note 1 below we’ve already written a lot about the Inner Witness! An Initiation is the Birth or a New Cycle, so it’s chart is a Birth Chart. So we shouldn’t be surprised when a Retrograde Period in the Cycle reiterates the Birth Reading for the Cycle. But the Cycle and the Degree are Independent of one another, so the “Coincidence” is still Remarkable.

We’ll look at the chart tomorrow. “Chrysanthemum Stone” is a good Rock to Contemplate for bringing forth the Inner Witness. The mineral composition can vary quite a bit. The Stone is so unusual that it’s known more by its Morphology and Mythology (of Immortal Love between Stones and Flowers) than for its chemistry. The fact that it appears in only a few places in the World, and appears with a mix of Chemistries when it does, speaks loudly that it’s Meaning lies in its Mythology. It’s also a Metaphor for the Bright and Focused Soul breaking through the Dark and Amorphous Matrix of the Ego and Karma.

1 Venus is actually Retrograde from 24 July to 4 September 2023 and 29 to 13 Leo, but the Shadow Period spans 19 June through 7 October. A Retrogradation is like a Remedial Course – we have to take it three times to pass, and sometimes we don’t. That’s the case when we don’t Learn from an astroevent. When we do Learn, it’s not Remedial at all. A Retrograde Shadow Period has three stages. The Retrograde period, here 24/7-4/9 and 29-13 Leo, is stage 2. Stage 1 is when the planet crosses this Degree Zone the first time, while Direct. That will be 19 June to 23 July and 13 to 29 Leo. Stage 1, called the Can-Opener, is when we get Blindsided by the Lesson Plan, often quite Stressfully. So we may hit Loneliness and Self-Doubt during the Can-Opener.

Stage 2 is the Exposition, where since the planet is Retrograde, the Curriculum is Repeated, more Slowly this time, Step by Step, allowing us to Learn the Lesson. If we’re Paying Attention. If we aren’t Paying Attention, we’ll Re-Experience the Stress of the Can-Opener, and remain its Victim. Stage 3 is the Confidence-Builder, where the Curriculum is Repeated Again, and this time we Sail Right Through it, because we’ve Learned How! If we noticed the Correlation between the Can-Opener and the Exposition. It not, we could have a third Stressful Victim Episode.

Karma and Unconscious Limitations are Created when we Remain in Blame, making our Stress Someone or Something Else’s Fault rather than our own Curriculum, and make a Decision or Vow or Oath or Promise that we’ll Never Put Ourself in that Position again. Of course, it’s unlikely we’ll have a strong Negative Reaction unless it’s already Karmic for us. So we don’t Create New Karma nearly as often as we “just” add Fresh Cement to our Old Karma. If we are Accountable for our Reaction to the original Stressful event rather than Blaming or Projecting it onto Something Else, or if we Notice the Repetition and Become Accountable, we can Learn and Practice Changing our Original Reaction to a Different Response. Then we really do Gain Confidence in the third Stage. Our Skills don’t mean much without our Confidence in them!

Many people misunderstand this Process as Blaming the Victim, which it’s not. We’re Expecting the Victim to take Ownership of their own Reactions to Repeating Stimuli. We can all be Blindsided by New Can-Openers, and since our Karma is many-dimensional, we often have to Re-Experience it in many different Arenas before we Let It Go Completely. We may React with Blame to a Relationship Hassle once, and then React with Blame to a Job Hassle another time, without Realizing that our Reactions are Repeating. That happens to all of us all the time, as we have many Karmic Patterns happening in many different Arenas. But if we’re Alert to Noticing the Similarities between two Reactions, we can Become Conscious that it’s Karma and Choose to Change it.

2 The Angles made between Venus and Saturn while they’re Retrograde are closest to four ninths and five elevenths of the Zodiac (the Quadrinovile and Quinelvile, 160 and 164 Degrees), which are about Mastering (4) Contemplation and Introspection (9) and Learning (5) to Appreciate our own Gifts and Talents (11). We derive the meaning of odd (indeed, all ) astrological Angles through the Correlation between the Tarot Major Arcana (Angeles Arrien, The Tarot Handbook) to the Harmonics of the Angles. For instance, the Quadrinovile is four ninths, or a combination of the 4th and 9th Harmonics (360/4=90° and 360/9=40°), equated to the 4th and 9th members of the Major Arcana (Emperor = Dominion and Hermit = Meditation). So the Quadrinovile implies Healthy Control over Meditation).

Warmup for the Digital Age

December 19, 2020

Jupiter and Saturn are considered the “Social Planets” – the Inner Planets are more or less in charge of Personal Character, and the Outer Planets in charge of the goings-on in the Underwhere. Which, even though it underlies everything, is kind of a Freudian Perspective – we could instead be calling it the Overwhere, as we agree with Jung’s Perspective that the “Unconscious” provides a map to our Wholeness, Integration, Coherence, Enlightenment, Ascension, 5D, nD. It’s a Puzzle Map, not a “Turn Left in 32 Feet” kind of Guide, because if it was so Easy, who would Value it? Hupers are like that.

Many people are in stiff Resistance to this sort of notion, however, so I’ve always found it easier on everyone to assume that some folks are inherently Jungian, and some inherently Freudian. That way we never have to argue with anybody about whether or not they Roll Their Own.

The Political Economy is one of the stalwarts of Society (one of the warts as well of course), and the Jupiter-Saturn Conjunctions fall into 180-year Cycles that have a reputation for being heavily involved in the Political Economy. Jupiter laps Saturn every twenty years, and seven of their Conjunctions occur (and Cycles Begin) in the same Element, then they toggle, then seven in the next element. Here’s a full Turning of the Spiral…

… Preview in Water (first Conjunction in Water 1444, one Water Cycle 1444-1464),
Debriefing in Air (one last Conjunction in Air 1464, one last Air Cycle 1464-1484),
Age of Water (seven Conjunctions in Water 1484-1603, seven Water Cycles 1484-1623),
Preview in Fire (first Conjunction in Fire 1623; one Fire Cycle 1623-1643),
Debriefing in Water (one last Conjunction in Water 1643; one last Water Cycle 1643-1663),
Age of Fire (seven Fire Conjunctions 1663-1782; seven Fire Cycles 1663-1801),
Preview in Earth (first Conjunction in Earth 1801; one Earth Cycle 1801-1822),
Debriefing in Fire (one last Conjunction in Fire 1822; one last Fire Cycle 1822-1842),
Industrial Age (seven Earth Conjunctions 1842-1961; seven Earth Cycles 1842-1980),
Preview in Air (first Conjunction in Air 1980, one Air Cycle 1980-2000),
Debriefing in Earth (one last Conjunction in Earth 2000, one last Earth Cycle 2000-2020),
Digital Age (seven Conjunctions in Air 2020-2140, seven Air Cycles 2020-2159),
Preview in Water (first Conjunction in Water 2159, first Water Cycle 2159-2179),
Debriefing in Air (one last Conjunction in Air 2179, one last Air Cycle) …

and so on, with variation as always, of course. By “seven Water Cycles” we mean seven Jupiter-Saturn Cycles that Initiated in Water Signs. Like people, we characterize Cycles by the Sign they were born under. Notice we have Columbus and his fellow Colonialists and Thieves Sailing the Ocean Blue during the Age of Water, and Revolution common in the Age of Fire. The Industrial Age was filled with Coal and Iron and Oil and Mechanicals, Stuff of the Earth. The Digital Age will be all about Electromagnetism and Robotics and Stuff of the Mind – as was our 1980-2000 Preview of it.

The IBM PC was introduced in 1980, and the Dot-Com Crash occurred in 2000, both almost to the day of the Conjunctions. A large swath of Kansas (at high altitude) was reserved today for testing of a new generation of commercial supersonic aircraft. Musk and Bezos will be shooting their tin cans to Mars. The electromechanical technological leaps in the coming century-plus will make the 1980s and 1990s look like kindergarden. Unfortunately the next Water Age won’t be about Sailing the Ocean Blue, it’ll be about the Ocean Blue coming to live in our neighborhoods.

The Digital Age starts in earnest at 10:21 am PST 21 December 2020 Saturn-Jupiter Initiation, aka the Jupiter-Saturn Conjunction. Conjunctions frequently repeat (as the faster planet turns Retrograde), and it’s the first Conjunction of a sequence that begins a Cycle. We call it a Faster planet-Slower planet Conjunction because the Faster planet is overtaking the Slower planet. And we call it a Slower planet-Faster planet Initiation because at the Initial Conjunction the Slower planet plays the role of the Shaman or Guru or Mentor, conferring Shaktipat on the Faster Planet and giving it an assignment till they meet again. The Faster planet does the Bidding of the Slower planet.

We read the character of a Cycle by reading the chart of the Initiation. When we read the 21 December Jupiter-Saturn Conjunction, which we’ll do soon, it will be a reading about the political economy and social milieu of the next twenty years. There are several Sign Changes this week that we’ll need to talk about, which we intend to do soon, because they’re laying the foundation for the New Cycle – including Saturn and Jupiter entering Air Sign Aquarius. Saturn enters at 9am PST 16 December, and Jupiter at 5am PST 19 December. And of course the Sun enters Capricorn at 2:05 am PST 21 December, defining the Capricorn Solstice, aka the Northern Winter Solstice and the Southern Summer Solstice, when the Sun goes Stationary and our Essence is particularly Strong.

Asteroids Lachesis (Finishing Karmic TimeLines) and Juno (Growth in Consciousness), and dwarf planet Ixion (Our Hidden and Often Forbidden Unique Genius) also Change Signs this week, and the Exaggeration (Station) of asteroid Karma (Karma) dominates the rest of the week, giving us a chance to move into the New Age with a Clean Slate if we’re willing to Let Go of our Karmic Identities and Attachments.

WhyAreWeFeelingGuilty New Moon 2

October 15, 2020

Time flies (away) when you’re doing taxes, but (phew!) that’s milk under the Bridge now, so we can Celebrate with a New Moon, among other Energies. Many of us broke out of several weeks of Chagrin into more Hopeful places at the end of last week, but if you’re starting to Feel Overwhelmed again, just Embrace the Confusion as a Feeling, and don’t try to “Fix It.” Confusion is the first sign of Growth in Consciousness, but only if we don’t try to Anal-yze It, “Figure It Out,” or Fix It. We’re now in the middle of several Strong Energy cross-currents, including…

💓 The 16 October 2020 (12:30 pm PDT) New Moon in 24 Libra, which is all about Being Reborn Out of Lifelong Guilt Patterns (New Moon Conjunct dwarf planet Haumea [Rebirth] and asteroid Nemesis [Guilt, Ego Death]) and Assertively Opening Up to Long-Hidden Secrets – or Finding that the Universe Aggressively Opens Them Up “For” Us – or what might feel like “Against” us (New Moon Opposite Mars [Action, Assertion] and dwarf planet Eris [Revelation of What’s Been Denied]).

Because the New Moon strongly Triggers that Energy, we’ve combined the New Moon chart with the chart of the 3-4 October Exaggerations (Stations) of Confidence and Doubt (dwarf planet Chariklo) and of Compulsion and Trance-Formation (dwarf planet Pluto)

To Create a New Habit, we Hypnotize ourself. Various components of our Universe are always introducing new Trances into our Life as well. The consummate Adept at Trance-Formation is dwarf planet Pluto. It’s pretty much in charge of our Culture’s Weltanshaung at any given Moment, and since Pluto Guards the entrance to the Underwhere, and since the Underwhere is the Source of our Trances, we damn well better Befriend Pluto if we want to Live a Life that, from the Ego’s Perspective, “works,” and provides us any sort of Satisfaction.

Planet Earth entered a New Time Province around Self-Confidence and Self-Doubt on 3-4 October. If you haven’t figured out yet that You Can Choose Between Self-Doubt and Self-Confidence, the next few weeks (the period when the New Moon has its greatest impact) is a great time to make that Choice. We spoke a bit about this in the previous post. I know, Self-Doubt has a Life of its own, fostered by Power Figures in our Personal History that stoked it for their own gain. However, like any Bane in our Life, we need to Learn to interpret any Triggering of our Self-Doubt as an Opportunity to Let It Go once and for all.

Since Trance and Habit and Karma and élan all sit on the Edge between our Consciousness and the Unconscious, this is PIAVA territory. Trying to influence the Unconscious with Dynamic (“Masculine”) Plan-Execute Energy, while useful, is at best arduous (“training,” “reps,” “practice”), and often not even effective, especially if Discipline isn’t our Greatest Joy. But this is precisely where Magnetic (“Feminine”) Energy Excels. So we might try a Sustainable (Ceres Stationary Conjunct Damocles 18 October) global PIAVA like this Theta

“God/Goddess, Creator of All That Is, I Command that henceforth, whenever Self-Doubt Arises, I Lovingly and Gently and Rapidly and Completely, and Safely, Choose Self-Confidence instead. It Is Done, It Is Done, It Is Done. Thank You, God/Goddess. Show Me!”

Of course you’ll want to go over that and modify it so that all of your Yes-Buts are satisfied.

In this chart the Guilt-Free-Rebirth-New Moon is Challenged by the New Global Trance (Pluto and Chariklo Stations), which in the chart is The Most Important Thing (Conjunct Saturn). So it’s Important to carefully Examine how Self-Confident or Self-Doubting you’ve been since the beginning of October, and modify your PIAVA accordingly. For instance, if you’ve been blistering your feet Fire-Walking or the equivalent, you’ll want to Emphasize the Safety part more.

If you’ve been Wallowing in Self-Doubt, you may want to add terms about Gradual Improvement with Frequent Checkpoints or the like, so you don’t Sabotage yourself by Overreaching and Bouncing off your Goals. It’s always more Sustainable to move 10% in the Direction you want to Change, than it is to do a 180. So you might want something like…

“God/Goddess, Creator of All That Is, I Command that henceforth, whenever Self-Doubt Arises, I Choose to Lovingly and Gently and Safely Move A Few Steps Toward Self-Confidence instead. It Is Done, It Is Done, It Is Done. Thank You, God/Goddess. Show Me!”

As usual, if your “Show Me!” doesn’t reveal Bliss, Tap Out whatever Stands in the way, and then repeat the Theta, modified accordingly if necessary.

Trust in Respect for All Things (asteroids Eurydike and Hopi Opposing Saturn-Pluto-Chariklo) is part of the Complex Equation here, so if you encounter Global themes like Racism or Misogyny or Abusiveness in your Yes-Buts, take that into account. For instance, a Black Man in a traffic stop by a racist cop might Trigger the cop’s worst Trances by Acting Confident. Or a woman in an Abusive Relationship. We want internal Confidence that we can finesse our way out of a Dangerous situation, not outer Confidence that we’re Bullet-Proof, which could get us Dead. We might need something closer to…

“God/Goddess, Creator of All That Is, I Command that henceforth, whenever Self-Doubt or Fear Arises, I Choose instead to Lovingly and Gently and Safely and Carefully Move Toward a Belief That I Can Effectively Finesse My Way Out of Trouble. It Is Done, It Is Done, It Is Done. Thank You, God/Goddess. Show Me!”

Or something like that. There are five Challenges (T-Squares) in this chart, and the Challenge of The Most Important Thing is Self-Confidence that my Trance Serves Me (Saturn-Chariklo-Pluto T-Square) is the only one that promises to be Self-Resolving (Diamond Star, or T-Square and Finger of the Goddess coinciding), so “The Goddess is on our side” here.