Archive for the ‘Relationship’ Category

Fear and Love

January 11, 2017

One of the fundamental principles of our Relationship to the Universe is that Fear is Cold and Hard, while Love is Warm and Soft.  Fear creates scar tissue, walling off Physical and Emotional Trauma into pockets that become Unconscious, or Denied.  Again, Denial is a healthy Response to Overwhelm, it’s just not the most Healing Response possible if we have options.  

Next time you scratch or cut or bruise yourself, watch closely how you React.  My “natural” (ie, Habituated) Reaction is to Psychically “seal off” the wound; is yours?  When I Consciously Choose to Open to it, Warm it (in my Imagination or Physically, putting my hand or a wrap on it), and Soften around it, I can Feel the Healing Energy start to flow.  Putting your hand on a wound, or if it reaches putting the wound to your Heart, adds Healing Energy directly.

In Relationship, including our Relationship with ourself, Fear Manifests as either Abandonment or Suffocation.  Some of us React primarily from Abandonment (our Hungry Ghost can’t get enough), some of us primarily from Suffocation (we back away from Love, we have difficulty Receiving), and most of us manage to React from our Abandonment at some times and from our Suffocation at other times.  It’s particularly Frustrating to Experience both at once.

Recognizing Abandonment and Suffocation day-to-day is a good way to Depersonalize the Heavy Emotions that arise in Relationships.  We can replace “Oh my God, they don’t Love me!”  with “Oh, there’s my Abandonment again.”  With a little practice it almost becomes “You poor Sweetheart, you’re Feeling your Abandonment again, aren’t you.”  And when someone is clinging to our coattails a little too tightly for our comfort, we can Recognize that they’re in their Abandonment and, recalling our own, we can be Kind to them without having to React or Pretend or call them a disfavored Body part.

Or, if someone is clinging to our coattails a little too tightly for our comfort, we can Recognize that we’re in our Suffocation, and loosen up a little.  Instead of snapping at them or being snitty, we can take a brief Time-Out and give ourself a quick “You poor Sweetheart, you’re Feeling Suffocated again, aren’t you” or even just a “Oh, there’s my Suffocation again.”  In a Relationship we want to keep and develop, this can make all the difference between their Experiencing us as Cold and Hard, or Experiencing us as Soft and Warm.

Practice this enough, and pretty soon we’re making Conscious Choices moment by moment about how permeable or impenetrable we want our Boundaries to be, tuning our Safety and Vulnerability to the situation at hand, rather than Reacting from the Unconscious Karmic Archetypes and Programmed Trances that previously ran our Life and Relationships.  

This is only one aspect of the Mystery School we’re all enrolled in.  It’s about earning our Self-Sovereignty through becoming Conscious of what we hadn’t Realized was Behavior Motivated by Fear.  Abandonment is Fear that we won’t get what we need.  Suffocation is Fear that we won’t have the space to be who we Really Are.  I’ll wager it won’t take you more than half a minute to see where Abandonment and Suffocation fit into your Relationship Patterns.

We can extend this to Abundance.  When we’re Feeling Scarcity, or Anxious about Survival, what happens when we say to ourself, “Oh, there’s my Abandonment again”?  The Patriarchal Culture programs us to think our Abundance is All Me, completely the result of my own Work or Smarts or Schmoozing.  It’s not.  Before the Lizards invented money, it was all about Community.  You could freeze to death, or starve all on your own, but you couldn’t do much else without your Community.  Outside the propaganda storm, it’s still that way.

Next time you catch yourself hating what you have to do to make money, tell yourself “Oh, there’s my Suffocation again.”  Very few of our Emotions are “Caused” by what the acculturated Mind thinks they’re Triggered by.  If it’s “I hate this job” your Projecting your Suffocation on your job, and you’re in a Cold and Hard place besides.  You could even tap on “Even though I Feel Suffocated doing this, I deeply and completely Love and Accept myself.”  You’d be withdrawing the Projection and moving to Soft and Warm in a few sequences.

That alone could shift you into Gratitude and help you Realize that you already are in Community, even if it’s not exactly the Community you ultimately Want to Manifest.  The next step would be Realizing that you’ve Proven to yourself that you do know how to Create Community.  Then you can PIAVA whatever Improvements you’d like to see in your Community, and sooner or later you’d find yourself Planning and Executing steps in that direction.

Owning your Abandonment and Suffocation as your own endogenous Emotional processes – Emotions that arise without Clear External Triggers, even though, sure, your Mind can easily find a hundred faux current-moment rationalizations – will put you in a position of Neutrality.  Neutrality is necessary to be Fully Present in the Moment so you can Manifest directly without having to make it into a Struggle.  

Griz doesn’t Struggle to find Huckleberries to add pudge to see Her through Her long winter’s nap, she just Sniffs the Air, senses the Changing Light, hears the Hucklebushes calling her name, and knows it’s time to go up the Mountain for her sweet and savory Autumn feast.  Yes, sometimes the Huckleberry crop fails and She wakes us hungry mid-winter and has to raid Huper cabins to get through, but that’s not much of a Struggle either, since Hupers make their doors so flimsy.  We only Struggle because we get Attached to our Beliefs and Project our unpleasant Feelings into our surroundings.

Shedding

December 30, 2016

Snagged on a poignant Vignette this morning, I caught myself beginning to indulge my Pain.  So I Shed – which feels somewhere between Opening my Angelwings and pouring a quart of (dry) water over my head – and in the process Realized that Stephen Levine’s writings would be particularly Powerful for us in this phase of our Transition.  My copies of his books aren’t handy, but I believe it was Healing into Life and Death or Guided Meditations, Explorations, and Healings that I was thinking of, probably the latter, the one full of incredibly Heart-Opening Guided Meditations.

There is a big difference between Forgiveness and Boundaries.  Forgiveness is a Discovery, not a Decision – you wake up one day and Discover that you aren’t Angry at them any more.  Which doesn’t mean you can’t Invite Forgiveness into your Life, as Stephen often does in these Meditations.  This is a Memory, not a quote…

“Whatever you may have done to Hurt me, Consciously or otherwise, I Forgive you.

“Whatever I may have done to Hurt you, Consciously or otherwise, I Ask that you Forgive me.”

I don’t think Stephen would mind if I misquoted him or borrowed his Work; he had an Ego as Inclusive as the Galaxy.  We’re approaching the first anniversary of his Transition out of his Incarnation…  

https://www.ramdass.org/remembering-stephen-levine-1937-2016/

Hurt is complicated – it can be a Commission or an Omission, or something else entirely, often “just” a Misalignment, where you’re trying to relate but you’re on different tracks.  But where there’s Pain, Inviting Forgiveness is useful.  This one is a quote, from http://levinetalks.com/Writings/single_post/ego-death 

“In the course of breaking the narrow confines of the self-image, a whole new world becomes available when you find out who you aren’t, including your suffering, which wipes out most of your precious/painful identity.  This can be a little disconcerting.

“Just before my face fell off, I looked back at my life as though it were my own.  I was possessed by memory.
“But as I passed behind the well-woven tapestry of appearances, history was undone.  The knots and snags that hold the illusion in place unraveling.
“The suffering defended so long dissolved like the Cheshire smile as a karmic wind caught a loose end and pulled . . .
“In transit beyond the known.”

And if you haven’t yet, and you can spare a week where you can’t do anything else but read (because it’s so compelling), Stephen’s Who Dies? is required reading for anyone.  Actually there’s a good chance you’ll find it to be The Most Important Thing you’ve ever done, so “sparing” a week might not be the right verb.

Back in the 1980s, when Pluto was in Scorpio (“The Way Out is Through”), before it crossed Sagittarius (“The Way Out is Letting Go”) into Capricorn (“Just Fix It Already”), a wonderful body of Literature was produced by the
“Recovery Movement.”  One of my favorites was Susan Forward’s Toxic Parents.  Nothing against parents, and mine were by no means the worst, but this book just does a great job of differentiating Forgiveness from Boundaries, and we need to understand this.

That Big River in Egypt

April 29, 2016

Many thanks to a reader for asking the provocative question…

“Any way you could share what you yourself feel you need to let go of that you’ve been clinging to so I can see whether I’m on the right track?” 

Eris is about Denial – namely, that which has been pushed into the Unconscious in order not to Overwhelm Consciousness or shatter the Ego.  So as Uranus approaches Eris it’s not about “what we feel we need to let go of that we’ve been clinging to,” it’s about what we will discover in the way of unknown Beliefs, or long-standing Limits that we’ve misinterpreted as Irritations or social norms, and which are likely to come into Focus as Self-Sabotage.  These aren’t just the Masks we put on to meet others, but the Masks we wear to Protect our Ego from the sometimes-brutal Honesty of the Self.

Denial is a healthy process, helping to keeping the Ego functioning in order to keep the Vehicle Safe.  However, the Revelation of Denial, when it’s Gentle and Loving, is also a very healthy process – to everything there is a Season.  The theory, true or otherwise, is that when we persistently ignore Gentle and Loving hints about what’s being ignored, and the Soul feels that Expanded Consciousness has become more important than the Safety provided by the Denial, the Unconscious will resort to more serious tactics than the Gentle and Loving,

Note that when anyone else accuses you of being “in Denial,” it’s always a Manipulation, an attempt to Intimidate and Control you.  They know nothing about the relationship between your Soul and Ego, and never will.  A gifted Psychic may have some information about that, but no Psychic worth listening to would ever accuse anyone of being “in Denial.”  I know Gurus who use a shock method for communicating, but in my experience they’re shocking you into listening to the Inner Voices that you already know of, but which you’ve been discounting for years.  Taking “the answer you’ve already rejected” is a Gentle way of moving in that direction.

Our reader continues…

Something came up yesterday where in retrospect I can see I felt a powerful need for attention or validation or appreciation or recognition, or something along those lines, from sources from which it’s just not going to come.  This theme is so ancient that it has become exhausting.  I felt sharp pain and anger for a brief moment, but recovered nicely, if not altogether tidily, and the moment passed pretty quickly, all things considered.  I’m left feeling a little…silly, infantile and embarrassed, though not really ashamed because I seem to have already forgiven myself for the temporary lapse in sanity.  Does that qualify?  And if so does it mean I need to provide those things for myself?”

There’s a strong correlation between our Masks and our unmet Childhood needs.  For instance, as a child many of us had “a powerful need for Attention or Validation or Appreciation or Recognition from a source from which it never came.”  So we put on a Mask that protected our Vulnerability to what we were inappropriately led to believe was a weakness.  We all need Attention or Validation or Appreciation or Recognition, and some sources are critical.  For instance, anyone who doesn’t expect that from a spouse or employer or friend is probably in an Abusive Relationship.  A Codependent Relationship is one where the Validation of the Other is more important to us than our own Values.

The part about “I’m left feeling a little…Silly, Infantile and Embarrassed, though not really Ashamed because I seem to have already forgiven myself for the temporary lapse in Sanity” needs to be reversed.  It was the feeling of  “Silly, Infantile and Embarrassed” (or Pain and Anger, as the case may be) that IS the Sanity.  Just not necessarily age-appropriate Sanity, although it would be perfectly age-appropriate in a close Relationship.  “Silly, Infantile and Embarrassed” and “Pain and Anger” were age-appropriate at the age when you were striving for Validation and learned that it was never to be forthcoming.  

It’s not the Emotions that are ever age-inappropriate, it’s their Expression.  When we regress to a Childhood circumstance, which you likely did, our Skillset regresses with us.  So we’re trying to deal with a Current-Moment situation with the Social Skills of a four-year-old or two-year-old, or sometimes even a preverbal child whose primary Social Skills are Awe and an obsession to hunt for Mirrors.  So of course we’re going to feel Silly, Infantile, and Embarrassed.  When we begin to Recover these Lost parts of our Self, we have to endure this for a while, as we give ourself the Space to Practice.  We come up to Current-Moment speed very quickly. however, once we can discern the difference between Present Moment and Regression.

The “brief” part of your Pain and Anger is important.  The faster we “correct,” edit, or Control our True Emotions, the deeper is our Unconscious Devotion to the Archetype (in this case, Vulnerability is Not Safe) rather than to the Self and Soul.  So all three of the “Pain and Anger,” the “Silly, Infantile and Embarrassed,” and the Judgment about “Lapse in Sanity” are doorways to whatever it is that you’re Masking from yourself.  You may already be well aware of it intellectually, but this is not an intellectual process, it’s a deep Emotional one.  To intellectually understand a chronic or acute Trauma is very useful for everyday Control, but it’s far different from the Re-Experience of the original Emotions which is necessary for Healing.

The Cultural idea that “Maturity” means having Control over your Emotions is part of the Patriarchical propaganda that we need to overcome.  “Maturity” certainly includes the ability to avoid Harm to Self and Other through Skillful Expression, but Emotions are the stock and trade of True Relationships, so Controlling them is a serious Self-Abandonment.  Exactly as the Patriarchy desires, because a Self-Abandoned Ego is easily Controlled from the outside.

Do note that the Re-Experience of the original Emotions need not be Re-Traumatizing, as has been shown by Gary Craig, David Feinstein, and Dawson Church in the case of Vietnam Veterans, and by the latter two in many international situations such as the Genocide in Bosnia.  Bessel van der Kolk’s amazing book, The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma very readably covers his journey from rookie to Master of these regions.  He believes that buried Trauma is the greatest danger facing Huperity today.  And I would agree that it’s buried Trauma – aka Limiting Beliefs – that create and perpetrate the other greatest dangers that the Planet faces.

Your Reaction to the Pain and Anger was immediately suppression – that is the sort of information that Eris is revealing to us.  The Goddesses who fought one another over Eris’s Golden Apple never realized that Eris was revealing their Vanity, nor did the Gods who presided name it, and the rest of Greek history reflects that lack of Consciousness.  The ending to that story can be attributed to the idea that Greek Mythology is the chronicle of the Patriarchy overcoming the Matriarchy – the Golden Apples story demeans women as irretrievably Devoted to the Archetype of Vanity, and the “superiority” of male Devotion to the Archetype of Warriorship in its defense.  Substitute Vanity for Vulnerability and Warriorship for Maskmaking, and Eris’s story is the same as yours.

You’ve “forgiven yourself” for the Silly, Infantile and Embarrassed.  And you refer to your True Emotions as a “temporary lapse in Sanity.”  More information gifted from Eris.  We’re speculating, as I have no business butting into the Relationship between your Ego and your Soul, but here are some possibilities…

You may have a Limiting Belief that your Childish Joy (Silly, Infantile, Embarrassed) is not valid.  If so, that would be likely to be a strong inhibition on your Spontaneity and Creativity.

You may have a Limiting Belief that Pain and Anger are not suitable for polite company.  If so, that could seriously inhibit your ability to rapidly and effectively set good Boundaries.

You may have a Limiting Belief that your True Emotions are not “Sane.”  If so, that would be a tight collar on your Relationships and your Ability to share your ample Wisdom to Lead others.

You can explore these doorways if you wish, by first making sure you’re Safe, and then recalling as best you can, in turn, the moment when you felt Infantile, the moment when you judged your feelings as not Sane, and the moment when you felt the Pain and Anger.  I’d recommend approaching each in its own session (repeated as useful).  Set a firm Anchor before you start – for instance, some incontrovertible evidence of your current age, so you can return at will to the Present Moment if you begin to get lost in the Past.  Carkeys in hand is a possibility.  Your objective for all three sessions is Wonder

“I Wonder what if anything this has to do with Expanding my Consciousness to include the portions of my Soul that have been missing.”  Or – 

“I Wonder how this might translate into a Limiting Belief that sabotages my ability to Manifest my Heart’s Desire.”  Or even –

“I Wonder if I’m really Living my own Truth around these issues, and if not, how I might move Gently and Lovingly in that direction.”

Or something like these.  Your “sessions” could be as brief as that, if you then Changed the Subject and let your Intuition work on the question.  If Memories start to flow (the asteroid Mnemosyme – Memory – entered Aries a few days ago, and it won’t be far from the Eris-Uranus Initiation in early June), let them come, as long as you still feel Safe.  If you start to feel Unsafe, Revert to your Anchor, and resume later after you’ve Grounded yourself (Food often works).

Be Mindful of Conclusions; you want to Open windows, not close doors.  Remember that Confusion is good, as it indicates that the Consciousness-Expansion has begun.  You want small incremental Ahas, not big Decisions.  Suffix everything with “… or something like that.”  We have time yet, we don’t need to push ourselves, and this is very delicate territory, this Edge between Consciousness and the Unconscious.  

Besides Eris, the major planets dealing with this Edge include…

  • Juno, whose modus operandi was to turn threats to her Ego into Stone
  • Hylonome, who killed herself when confronted with alienation from her favorite Archetype
  • Vesta, symbolizing (for good or ill – we’d be long lost without Habits!) Unquestioned Archetypes

Compared to these, Eris is a Gentle and Loving partner in our urgent need to escape from Archetypes which encode the End of Civilization.  It’s also useful to remember that the Eris-Uranus Initiation is occurring in Aries – that which hasn’t happened before, that which we’re beginning to Create from Scratch (out of Spirit actually), that which we will have no hope of actually understanding for a long time – probably till Uranus gets to its Waxing Square with Eris.  “Blown inward by the wind, the curtains of an open window take the shape of a cornucopia,” suggesting rich rewards for those willing to be Open to the inscrutable Winds of Spirit.

Your original question about “what I myself feel I need to let go of, that I’ve been clinging to”?  If I rephrase that as “where does Eris seem to be leading me next?” then I have no shortage of Stories, which I intend to tell.

Mindbody

November 19, 2015

Here’s a great introduction to Dr. Kim D’Eramo’s highly recommended work…

http://www.drkimderamo.com/small-changes-big-shifts-interview/

As fabulous as this work is, you can tell by the name that “Mindbody” concepts come out of the “Left Brain,” and tend to put the Emotional Body in a sort of secondary position.  Yes, Presence and Witnessing are important parts of the “Mindbody Connection,” but the Feelbody and Feelmind connections are equally important.  The astrological Square is a Challenge to Hupers because we must integrate three Energies, not just two, and in cultures that emphasizes the “rational” and “logical,” we don’t have much Experience at dealing with non-Dual Energies.  Even if we try to rephrase into the Mindfeelbody or Feelbodymind or Bodyfeelmind Connection, we get stuck on the order, and ordinals are just more linear thinking.

The underlying fundamental is that Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual; Energetic and Material; Dynamic and Magnetic; Feminine and Masculine; Creative, Stabilizing, and Changing are not different Realms or Levels of Reality, they’re different Perspectives on the same Underlying Reality.  

This seems to be difficult for people to grasp.  The Underlying Reality is Unitary and Indivisible.  It’s only the intellect that dissects it in order to try to understand it better.  Unfortunately, dissection kills what’s being dissected.  “Reductionism,” it’s called by its critics.  The positive thing about intellectual dissection, is that it’s possible to leave the dissected entity alive.  Possible, but given our Habituated way of thinking, very rare.  We need to start practicing Reintegration.  One way to do that is what Castaneda called “Cognitive Dissonance,” the ability to hold multiple mutually-contradictory Perspectives in mind at once.  

Contradiction is a Duality, Either/Or, and we know that Reality is on the other hand Both/And, multifarious and multidimensional.  So,”logically,” “cognitively,” we know that holding Contradictions is a perfectly reasonable thing to do.  And in fact, if we ask our friends to be honest with us, they can point out how each of us lives in a wilderness of Contradiction – we all condemn in Others what we most dislike about ourselves, at the same time that we’re compelled to Act just that same way.  We give it another name when they do it, to keep ourself Safe from Cognitive Dissonance.  “We” – our Conscious Ego – can’t Control our Unconscious Shadow, so if we admit that the Shadow is ours, we either have to quit condemning Others, or endure Cognitive Dissonance.

So I say, Celebrate Cognitive Dissonance.  Start small.  Next time you squash a Bug, think “All Life Is Sacred” while you’re squashing.  Next time you start to Experience Anxiety, think “Life Always Unfolds in Perfect Harmony” while fully accepting your Anxiety – in fact, amplify your Anxiety.  Alternately scream “O My God We’re All Going to Die!” and “Thank God We’ll Finally be Relieved of All This Anxiety!”  If Hupers ever hope to get in Synch with the World of Nature – which is probably necessary for our Survival as a species – we’re going to have to Live and Breathe Contradiction and Cognitive Dissonance.

21st Century II – Boundaries, Forgiveness, Mirrors

October 21, 2015

A reader asked what I meant in the previous post by “Expanding Boundaries,” whether that meant “Loosening Boundaries.”  I responded…

“Could go either way – Boundaries are tricky.  Expanding them might mean for instance less generalization or ‘profiling’ but fattening them against an individual.  It could mean moving the fence closer to the sidewalk.  Or it could mean ‘Loosening’ but in specific circumstances.  How’s that for Waffling?  Got any Maple Syrup? 

“Forgiveness isn’t a Choice, it’s a Discovery; one day we notice that we seem to have Forgiven someone.  Safety First.  And Trust Instinct.  Then (when Safe) examine Judgment to see if it has merit or is an obsolete Pattern.  If somebody keeps Sliming you, Expand the Diatomaceous Earth zone.”

They wrote back to describe an encounter with a local Bully, summarizing with…

“Luckily I had my mirror with me and discreetly maneuvered it into position to face them, trying to breathe while staying present and grounded.  I’ve really never encountered anything quite so nasty, even in my years in politics.  It’s weird, but clearly it seems to be what’s on my plate, for now at least.”

The problem with Intimidation, from the Victim side, is that when the significant adults in our childhood Bullied us traumatically or chronically (“for our own good” or “because they loved us”), they didn’t just leave a cognitive scar that we can “talk ourselves out of,” they carved a Hole in our Aura.  As we get closer to the Yintegrity Finale in June 2016, our Guidance may well put us in positions of “never having encountered anything quite so nasty,” simply because when we don’t get the Golden Apples the first several times, our Guidance has to escalate.

It was never fair to begin with, and we still Resent having to Claim our Space “by hand” rather than automatically.  In addition, while we were being programmed, we were punished and threatened and shamed when we did try to Claim our Space.  And, not wanting to focus on the bummer, and punished when we did (“straighten up or I’ll really give you something to cry about”), we forced it into the Unconscious, so now all we remember is that we can’t do that, it’ll be worse if we do.  And there are probably ample mostly-Unconscious reinforcements from Parallel or Past Lives.

So it’s not easy to push ourselves to do this.  But we have to do it, and we have to persist at it, because that’s how we develop new Habits.  When we were Bullied or worse by those who had Power Over us, we Opened that Robot-Control Hole in our Aura in order to make our then-Life easier.  Current-Moment Bullies can “see” the Hole, probably Unconsciously, and enjoy the Power Over when they reach through it to pull our puppetstrings.  We have to see the Bullies as Guidance.  We aren’t “Blaming the Victim” here (another popular Defense against Claiming our Power), we’re helping the Victim to begin paving a new Life Path.

One way to plug to Hole is simply to fill it with our own Energy.  Holes like this are often in the back of our Third Chakra, behind the Solar Plexus (Power).  Bring Starlight from your favorite Star down your back, and Earthlight from the center of the Earth up through your feet and legs, and allow them to tumble together once or twice in the bowl of your pelvis.  Then bring the combined Energy up over your Belly and right through your Solar Plexus, booming out the back like a jet engine.  Practice this when you aren’t being Bullied, so you don’t have to think much about it when you are Bullied.  Some Energy Schools would rather you ran the Energy back to front.  Try it both ways and see which one makes you feel more Solid.

Do this a lot, and you’ll get in a lot of fights.  So move the Energy through some of your other Chakras as well, especially the Fourth or Heart Chakra (Compassion) and First or Root Chakra (base of the Spine, Worthiness).  If you want to continue to have a Relationship with anyone who seems to purposely make you feel “bad,” including your partner, lover, boss, kids, employer, parents, friends, etc. – Heart Shaped Eyes tells the story…

https://heartshapedeyes.wordpress.com/2015/10/21/passive-aggressive/ 

– then fill your Second (Belly, Emotion) and Fifth Chakra (Neck, Communication) as well.  You don’t want Analysis and Empathy yet, you want Protection, so leave out the Sixth (Third Eye, Intuition) and Seventh (top of the Head, Spirit) Chakras for now.

Once when I was on the phone with a Bully to whom I was very vulnerable and with whom I didn’t want to argue (a losing proposition with Bullies, and boring), I carefully and persistently ran jet engines through both my Third and Fourth Chakras.  The Bully kept stammering, not getting the reactions they were looking for, and didn’t know how to proceed.  Meanwhile, I was sweating like a pig, not because I was alarmed or scared, just from the Energy.  It’s not their fault – they were raised that way.  It may be their Responsibility to eventually notice how it impacts their Life, if that fits into their plans for the Lifetime – maybe their Soul’s Plan is to Change the World by expressing their Pathological Genius, like Steve Jobs, and they need their Bully to pull it off.  

Our reader mentioned having their Mirror handy.  This is another Powerful technique.  Imagine a wardrobe Mirror, and imagine holding it up between you and the Bully, facing them.  Their Energy bounces off and goes right back to them.  I’ve had people tell me they can’t do that because it will hurt the Bully!  Excuses abound!  Many Bullies are so used to this that they’ll just go around, so be prepared to Expand your Mirror if need be.  Many will just “come around to the back door.”  For some Bullies you’ll need an Igloo or Superdome of Mirrors.  

You’ll Feel Guilty.  Ground yourself, and send the Guilt down your Grounding Cable, back to the Earth where it can be used for compost.  You can’t Choose Forgiveness, but you can Choose between being Bullied and Feeling Guilty, and I hope you’ll Choose the latter, because it’s easier to slough off.  You may have any number of other Feelings arise.  If your Bully says “Whatsamatta, why you sweating so?  Scared?”  just say it’s a fever.  The less you say the better, as Bullies use conversation to trap you into the Language part of your brain, where you’ll forget to hold your Mirror.

There’s a lot more to say about Mirrors, which we’ll get to later.  For instance, when you’ve tapped bruises into yourself and you still can’t Let Go of a nagging bummer, the Emotion may not be yours.  Take the first person you think of, imagine Mirroring them for a few minutes, and see if your Feelings Change.  If they don’t, take the second person.  Or the person you’re telling yourself “It can’t be them!” – spun sugar tongue.  Or too much Dependence.

No one knows you’re doing this except you.  So there’s no reason this has to alter the rest of your relationship with the person – if it’s your boss, say.  You won’t Change them, you’ll only stop Dancing to their fiddle.  What you’re Changing is the way you React.  If they’re addicted to Bullying they may get bored with your non-Reaction and turn their Attention elsewhere, which might frighten you, and you’ll have to sit with that Fear, or Tap it out (Remember Tapping works just as well when you Imagine it, so you still won’t have to blow your cover).  Most likely they’ll just turn to others for their Bullying and direct a more civil part of their Personality toward you.  If they don’t have a more civil part, and/or your own Pathological Genius isn’t on the same jetway as theirs, you probably need a change of venue anyway.

Another friend had an experience yesterday that was similar to our reader’s, dealing with a local Bully.  They did a Theta Healing on themself, and it worked like a charm; the Bully happened to have a more civil Personality part, and they flipped into it.  You could surround yourself in Light, surround them in Light, Tap on your Feeling of Intimidation, or any number of other “tricks” – whatever works for you.  

Of course the critical juncture, in addition to finding the Motivation to actually Claim your Space, is the part about noticing.  For the first several tries you may be too deep into being Bullied before you remember the Mirror.  Try it anyway.  Even if it’s too late this time, every time you do remember, you’re building a new Habit, and making it easier the next time.  Every time you use the Mirror, it builds the Pattern, and makes it easier next time.  The easier it gets to remember and do, the sooner you’ll remember next time.  It’s a Virtuous Cycle, and it builds on itself quickly.

 These are the Cycles involved with the Pallas  corner of the 1/1/2000 Grand Cross:

  • Moon Waxing Square Pallas (Challenge to Trust Instincts around Judgment – “The storm ended, all Nature rejoices in brilliant sunshine“)
  • Pallas Waxing Square Saturn (Challenge to Change Boundaries around Discipline – “A fully decorated Christmas Tree“)
  • Pallas Opposite Uranus (Apparent dichotomy between Safety and Yintegrity – “A Child is seen being born out of an Egg“)
We can see the root of much of the Fear and Hesitation that we’ve been Experiencing over the last three years around dropping our Masks, and we can see how it’s not just the Uranus-Pluto Cycle, but also an integral part of the Century’s Evolutionary process.  The Christmas Tree may represent the idealized positive Images from our childhood that we Chose to remember over the less savory memories.  Pallas will Square (Mastery through Challenge) the Nodes (Life Path) and Vesta (Unconscious Beliefs) next week (28-30 October, but it makes a Grand Cross with the Moon on 31 October at 2am PDT – http://www.jbuss.com/tt/pdt2.htm ), so this is an excellent time to practice these Skills.

August-September VI

August 23, 2015

ruby6124bpRuby, the Essence of Courage, here the Courage to Claim Sovereignty over the Self.

  Θ    Θ    Θ    Θ    Θ 

Thanks to Heart Shaped Eyes ( https://heartshapedeyes.wordpress.com/2015/08/21/women-and-emotional-labor-putting-down-the-weight/ ) for pointing us to Bethany Webster’s illuminating blog post on Emotional Labor

http://womboflight.com/2015/08/21/women-and-emotional-labor-putting-down-the-weight/

In addition to the Exposition of our “Comedy of Human Nature” Relationship Initiation, we’re also at a major turning point around our Yindependence, and Bethany’s post does an excellent job of exploring the implications of Yindependence, Yintegrity, and the Responsibility issues we’ve been writing about and which will be increasingly prominent as we move into September.

I’m seeing lots of Attention devoted to Jupiter moving into Virgo, Saturn moving into Sagittarius, Eclipses, and the Stations of the Inner Planets, and while those astroevents have important meanings, I haven’t seen anyone writing about the Makemake-North Node-Lilith triple Initiation that’s coming up in September…

  • Makemake Initiates Lilith, 1 September
  • North Node Initiates Lilith, 8 September
  • Makemake Initiates North Node, 16 September

All of which occurs at 2 Libra, “The transmutation of the fruits of past experiences into the seed-realizations of the forever creative spirit.”  The Cusp of Libra is also about moving from Self-Focus to Other-Focus.  The Lilith Cycles run seven to nine years, the North Node-Makemake Cycle about 19 years.

The dwarf planet Makemake was named after the Rapa Nui God who rescued the people of Easter Island after their island lost its Trees.  Makemake taught them, for instance, to plant on the lee side of Rocks, as the Rock would harvest Water from Fog.  Makemake’s discovery chart is all about Creative Manifestation.  The North Node represents the direction of our travel.  Not the destination, but the direction.  And Lilith represents Self-Sovereignty.

The Lilith-Makemake Cycle that we’re completing began in late November 2008 at 26 Virgo, “A boy with a censer serves the priest near the altar.

Significant Change does not occur while we are in Judgment about the processes we would like to see Changed.  Change occurs rapidly after we Acknowledge our old Patterns for the Value they provided.  It’s worth repeating.

Significant Change does not occur while we are in Judgment about the processes we would like to see Changed.  Change occurs rapidly after we Acknowledge the old Patterns for the Value they provided. 

What Value might our Self-Sovereignty have claimed from Learning obeisance to rigidly defined and rigidly hierarchical protocols? 

Yes, there’s the notion of getting very clear about what we don’t Want.  And the notion that, now that we clearly understand, from the inside, how the old obeisance works, we are much better prepared to reject the seductive practices of those who would steal our Power. 

Can you think of – or Feel – other Values your Self-Sovereignty may have claimed over the last seven years?

Whatever the shape of that intelligence, we’ve now harvested it, and the next decade is about putting it to work.

More September to follow…

Nessus Three

June 5, 2015

mime3808bpMimetite, another compelling toxin – Lead Arsenate Chloride.  It’s usually safer to make a tincture with toxic Crystals and Minerals – put the Crystal in a glass bowl inside of a larger bowl, and add Water to the larger bowl so no Water gets into the smaller bowl and touches the Crystal.  Leave it in the Sunlight or Moonlight for a couple of days, then use the Water as you would a Safer Stone.  Or, just Meditate on the picture.  Mimetite helps us come back to ourSelf and our True Purpose.

  Ω    Ω    Ω    Ω    Ω 

Nessus is no longer Stationary, and no longer in the first few Degrees of Pisces, so if echos of Abuse of any kind assault us now, they should be easier to Let Go than might otherwise be the case.  Nevertheless, there is no shortage of PowerUnder in the Patriarchal World (we’re not implying that Ladies can’t do PowerOver), and since the Emotional scars from Abuse can light up at any time, and spontaneously, it never hurts to know the signs so we can increase our chances of Empathizing with our historical Self.  And Nessus will be back in the most Vulnerable Degrees of Pisces in the second half of 2015.  So it’s worth a few more words.

And one sign we forgot to mention in Nessus Two is “I’d rather Die than go through that again!”  At the moment Nessus is in the second Duad (two and a half Degrees) of Pisces, so that Emotion is less likely to arise, than when it’s in the first Duad.  But if and when it does ever arise for you, the key thing to remember is that you’re probably putting the emphasis on the wrong place.  It’s not

“I’d rather Die than go through that again!”

it’s

I’d rather Die than go through that again!”

because this Emotion arises at the quintessential moment of Ego Death.  And if you can succeed in making that shift in emphasis while you’re Feeling it, it’s jumping-up-and-down YOO HOO! Celebration time, because you’ll only have to make that shift once!!

Of course, the difficult part is having the Presence to step outside of that Feeling once you’re in it, because you aren’t home, you’ve been replaced by your historical/Karmic Self.  But, once you do bridge that gap between then and now, and can make that shift from Die to I, that’s YOO HOO time!

The other thing we didn’t mention in Nessus Two, is Chiron.  We’re talking about transcending Discouragement and Despair and moving into the Miracle of Rebirth instead, and that’s Chiron’s middle name.

Chiron (orbit 50 years) is at a Waxing Duodecile to Nessus’s (orbit 120 years) Station – in the Twentieth Harmonic.

The Twentieth Harmonic (18 Degrees) is the Aeon, or the principle and Wisdom of a Broad Perspective, particularly with regard to Time; the Power to give birth to new Forms; and the integration of the various segments of our Lives which are usually separate.  Most of the multiples of 18 Degrees are absorbed by the Tenth, Fifth, and Fourth Harmonic (and Second).  The exceptions are the Triduodecile (54 Degrees), Sepduodecile (126 Degrees), and Ennea- or Nonaduodecile (162 degrees).

The current Chiron-Nessus Cycle began January 10, 2006 in 3 Aquarius, “A deserter from the Navy: The individual’s self-realization through a crucial repudiation of a collective status which has become unbearable.”  The subtext is Rudhyar’s, and unusual; Rudhyar is usually more supportive of the status quo and Community standards than he is of Liberation of the individual.

But the idea of Abandoning a prior Commitment – the Commitment we made to PowerUnder in order to secure our own relative Safety in earlier  trying circumstances – is completely appropriate!  So we can consider the next several weeks to be a particularly fabulous time to Let Go of our PowerUnder Programming.

The major impact of a Station usually precedes the Station, but this Nessus Station, and its simultaneous Initiation of Atropos, is close enough to be considered an important part of the June 2 Full Moon chart, giving it (partial) Sovereignty over the several weeks following the Full Moon.  The Chiron-Nessus Waxing Duodecile is exact on June 6.

That immediately sounds scary to me, as it would seem to expose us to extreme Vulnerability.  Yet wouldn’t it be great to be out from under the Limiting Beliefs that have separated us from our Dreams?  So we probably want to Pray or Intend or Ask or Vizualise or Imagine Feeling or Affirm or Command or Expand Into (or any other variation of PIAVA) Safety and Grace as we make the Transition.  And Tap Out any real Fear that does arise.  It’s actually completely possible to graduate from PowerUnder into PowerWith.  Once we leave our own PowerUnder, the Bullies lose their Magnetic Attraction to us.

Peruvian Shamanism

May 4, 2015

On April 6 the Shift Network will sponsor a free presentation by Peruvian Shaman don Oscar Miro-Quesada on Condor Medicine: Shamanic Wisdom, Healing & Ritual Magic from the Spirit World.  Registering (first name and eddress only) at…

http://theshiftnetwork.com/CondorMedicine

will get you a compelling introductory talk by don Oscar.  In this introduction he gives five propositions that as far as I can tell agree with the “Traditional Wisdom” that I use as my standard benchmark of the Value of ideas…

  • Consciousness Begets Matter
  • Language Begets Reality
  • Ritual Begets Relationship
  • Nature Begets Purpose
  • Love Begets Life

The Traditional Wisdom is what’s left after you take all of the non-Political (Both/And rather than Either/Or) Esoteric Spiritual Teachings from all of the Planet’s historical cultures, mix well, and simmer slowly.  Using a roux like this as the foundation, we can rebuild all of our concepts about Reality, then compare our Thoughts, Feelings, and Behaviors to our Concepts to see where our programming has perverted our relationship to the Unconscious, and where our Culture is screwing up Consciousness, Language, Ritual, Nature, and Love – not to mention Matter, Reality, Relationship, Purpose, and Life.

Shift Happens

February 27, 2015

Ceres-dual-bright-spotsDon’t know if you knew that the Hupersons have sent a spaceship to visit the dwarf planet Ceres (recently Initiated by Pluto – “In a hospital, the children’s ward is filled with toys), out in the asteroid belt between Mars and Jupiter.  The spaceship now is 29,000 miles (the circumference of the Earth is 25,000) from Ceres and snapping photos like the tourist that it is.  No one in recent memory has been there, after all.  Evidently no one called ahead to notify the Cereans that the Earthlings were coming, so they haven’t turned out the lights.  The headlights are literally Mysteries, not Photoshopped.  Best guesses from the Muggles are reflections from exposed Ice or fresh vanilla Lava, but till the official propaganda is handed down by the Commision, you’re free to make up whatever story pleases you.

A reader recently asked where I stand on “The Shift.”  There’s a great book on the history of the 1960s – which as you should know by now we’re reliving, for at least another two weeks – called Time it Was: American Stories from the Sixties,

“As for the complex social and racial equality issues I covered and reported on in the mid-1960s, change has been slower than I would ever have imagined when I was in my 20s.  I still think we are moving in the right direction.  It’s just that sometimes and in some places the program can only be measured in millimeters rather than the miles I would have expected 40 years ago.”

It’s a great book, whether you were there or not.  It’s a “textbook,” so the price is usurious, but Amazoo has good used copies for reasonable prices.  I mean, how much damage can a student do in three or four months.

I don’t Believe The Shift is a three-dimensional issue.  It has to be viewed from a larger Perspective.  It’s happening, but we don’t hear about it on the Nightmarely News.  There will be Tipping Points, but they’ll probably be single-issue Tipping Points.  Since everything is related though, each one will push the others.  It may take centuries before we get to where we’d like to be.  The species will probably survive Global Balming, though it may be by regressing to the Stone Age – the Diet’s already gone there! 

Here’s a very concise summary of the current American Fascism (the definition of Fascism that I learned in high school civics class is government and business in bed together) and our attempts to Tip it into the dustbin…

http://billmoyers.com/2015/02/25/end-big-moneys-chokehold-democracy-amend-constitution/

From a completely different Perspective but on the identical issue (Change), here’s an interesting coaching from Pat Carrington, who has adapted Tapping to include positive statements as well as negative…

http://masteringeft.com/masteringblog/pat-carringtons-choices-method-for-the-thought-im-right-and-youre-wrong/

“All-negative” Tapping works for me, as it’s just Empathy for what’s really going on, and as such has the Power to Create Miracles.  But by all means try Pat’s technique.  Who ever had too many tools, anyway?

Square Planets Up Your Nodes

February 21, 2015

mnvesu5222bpManganvesuvianite – the Manganese-rich form of Vesuvianite, named for the Volcano that decimated Roman Pompeii.  Vesuvianite symbolizes the Mother Goddess, Creator of All That Is, and her Power to Heal “Miraculously.”  It appears as a Miracle to the Limited mind; it’s everyday to the Goddess.  The Manganese clears away Confusion so we can see the Growth that’s hiding behind it and Embrace it.

   ϖ    ϖ    ϖ    ϖ    ϖ 

A reader asks…

“Can you talk more about those of us who have a planet squaring the nodes?”

Which is an excellent question.  It’s a similar situation for folks with planets Conjunct either Node. 

A “Square” is two planets that are separated by one fourth of the Zodiac; they’re near the same Degree but three Signs apart.  A T-Square is two Squares connected end-to-end, or two planets Opposing one another with a third planet halfway between them.  Both mean Mastery through Challenge, the T-Square’s Challenge being more Challenging than a single Square’s Challenge.

First though, let me address another reader comment…

“That discussion of squares/Tsquares got me – depressed – no, actually, I recognized that feeling as despair when I read it.  Your writings have taught me to recognize that feeling –  despair.  And unconscious despair.  I never knew what that darkness was.  It’s been interesting to note where, when, how often it comes.  That’s helped clear a fair amount of it to an extent…just recognizing it for what it is.  That post brought it on.  Condemnation.  I always thought squares were Mastery Through Challenge.  So there is no ‘never.’  Mastery comes.  Not just ‘getting it’ but MASTERY!!  I feel like they should be called Infinitely Perpetual Challenge then.  Give it up.  You ain’t getting anywhere.”

Well, Infinitely Perpetual Challenge isn’t far off – till you Change your Objective.  Let’s take any of us that have Squares to Mars or Venus for an example – that’s timely, with Mars Initiating Venus and Wabi-Sabi Stationary.  We don’t even need a Square between Mars and Venus, just some other planet Squaring Mars or Venus.  Those movie scenes and ads about Perfect Romance and Perfect Bodies and Perfect Faces are irresistible to us.  Pant, Pant.  And that’s the whole idea – it ain’t Real, it’s a Trance.  I’ll wager that every Relationship you’ve ever been in had some positive feature.  If you cut out each one of those boons and pasted it on your Ken or Barbie doll, you’ll witness your Mastery first-hand.  You just haven’t put them together all at once.

That’s actually a great way to move toward What You Want – list the pieces or characteristics of your Desire, check to see which ones you’ve already Manifested, and then work on the others.  When you get most of them checked off, list all the combinations – A+B, A+C, B+C, etc. and start working on those – you can Plan and Execute, or PIAVFA, or both.  Then if you need to, work on the triplets – A+B+C, A+B+D, B+C+D, etc. – and the quadruplets.  Sound too complex?  Hmmm.  Maybe it’s your Desire that’s too complex.  Maybe you need to Prioritize a little.

Let’s try a thought experiment.  Think about your unfulfilled Desire.  Now pick its two most important characteristics.  Just for the sake of illustration we’ll call them Passion and Security.  Sound contradictory? 

That may be part of your Frustration.  Contradiction exists only in the mind, not in Reality.  In Reality it’s Both/And; in Real Life it’s called Paradox, not Contradiction.  If we’re striving for two Paradoxical qualities that we Believe are Contradictory, we will be doomed to Infinitely Perpetual Challenge.  It’s very difficult to Manifest what we don’t Believe – this is part of the Powerful “Placebo” effect.  So the first thing we may need to PIAFA is that we Believe our Desire is Possible.

Back to Passion and Security.  Ever feel Passion toward your Desire?  If not, Imagine it (Feelize or Visualize or …).  Shake It Off, take a drink of Water, and then think about the times you’ve felt Security around your Desire.  You may not have met any of your other requirements, but you felt Security.  If you haven’t Experienced Security around your Desire, not even for a few minutes, then Imagine what it’ll feel like when you do.  (If it’s a Relationship Desire, think Friendship.)  Then Let It Go, Dance a bit, another drink of Water, then recall or Imagine Manifesting both Security and Passion around your Desire.  Add Belief if you need to.

Feel good?  Or are their Yesbuts squeaking in the background – or shrieking in the foreground?  Yesbuts can feel Frustrating, but they’re just information about what else your Desire needs.  A frequently Unconscious Yesbut is whether or not you Deserve to Manifest Your Heart’s Desire. 

Virtually all of us went to the same Obedience School, where we were given a biscuit if we got the right answer, and if we’re very lucky only fingerwagged when we got the wrong answer.  Lots of folks would consider it Sociopathic if you Believed that you just Deserved things without having to Earn them.  Well, you do Deserve to Manifest your Heart’s Desire, right or wrong.  If your Heart’s Desire is punishable by Life or the Chair, so be it, you’ll just have to face the music.  But that’s not about Deserving; it’s about what your Culture permits and how well you finesse it.

Okay, you’ve Shaken It Off and Let It Go again and danced around the Fire, and now you’re sitting there feeling what it’s like to Believe in and Deserve to Manifest Safety and Passion around your Desire. 

I know, they’re still Yesbutting you, but Imagine that Belief, Deserving, Security, and Excitement are all you Want, that they’re Enough.

Ahhhhh! – Wonderful, isn’t it!

No?  Well, that’s it then. 

Desire is indeed an Infinitely Perpetual Challenge.  The basic problem is that Desire is misspelled.  It’s really spelled M-o-t-i-v-a-t-i-o-n.  Now there has to be a Balance between Motivation and Satisfaction, or else we’ll never feel good about Life.  So what to do?  Well, we certainly don’t need to give up our Desire, that would be the equivalent of Death.  We might need to dial it back a little, and approach it one piece or characteristic at a time, or set intermediate and achievable Goals that we can Celebrate along the way, so we can enjoy the Journey and not just the possibly hallucinatory Destination.

But the real key to Enjoying a Square or T-Square is shifting our Objective from Desire to Learning.  We’re always Learning, so we can Celebrate some quantity of Learning (even if we don’t understand yet what it is) from every Experience.  So a Square or a T-Square is about Learning about our Desire.  Once we make that shift we’re free to Play.  Learning is usually Surprising – otherwise we’d already be Learned.  So we’re open to Surprise as well as Success.  We really can afford to Play with it, because when Learning is our Objective, the bigger and faster our failures, the more we Learn.

That is MASTERY.  You’ve actually experienced it in your Life, around lesser Frustrations, like Spelling or Story Problems or DiffyQ or Asking for a raise or maintaining your Health.

And in fact, with a Square or T-Square, you are a Master, because you’ve always been Motivated to Explore the Edges of your Infinitely Perpetual Challenging Desire.  Take Music as an example.  If you’re Mozart, you were a Master at Birth.  If you’re Salieri, you’ve been working your butt off all your Life, and he gets all the contracts.  But suppose you’re Vivaldi, and you’re trying to figure out whether you want a minor or major key for your concerto about Spring.  Mozart could tell you in a flash.  But Salieri would be able to tell you why you need a minor key. 

If you were depending on Mozart you’d need to ask him again for each Season.  The answer you got from Salieri would allow you to figure it out on your own.  So who’s the real Master – Mozart or Salieri?

This is Real, it’s not a rationalization or a PR trick.  You may need to start your process by Believing that it’s possible to shift your Objective from your Desire to Learning about your Desire.

Conjunctions and Oppositions are similarly Heuristic.  Oppositions Challenge us to escape Duality by recognizing that while the Heads and the Tails distract us from what’s really happening, focusing on the Coin will trigger our Intuition.  Conjunctions Challenge us to Accept that just because our Perspective on the World isn’t popular, that doesn’t mean it’s wrong.  In fact, the more unusual our Perspective, the more Powerful.  You may end up writing things that won’t be understood for 200 years, or that only six people on the Planet will grok, but the Value in that is immeasurable. 

Squares and T-Squares are members of the Fourth Harmonic, which is basically Mastery or Dominion; the Emperor.  But it’s the Fifth Harmonic that’s about Learning, so we must be wrong, eh?  No, we Master each Harmonic by adopting the Perspective of a higher Dimension.  The First Harmonic, Conjunction, is about Self.  The Infinitely Perpetual Challenge about Self is Other, which is introduced by the Second Harmonic, Opposition. 

The Challenge of Self “versus” Other is resolved by Love, the Third Harmonic or Trine.  The Infinitely Perpetual Challenge about Love lies in resolving Codependence, via Healthy Control or Dominion, the Fourth Harmonic – Squares.  We resolve the Frustration of the Fourth Harmonic by using the Fifth, Learning, the Quintile.  We resolve the Paradox of Inequality between the Student and the Teacher by moving to mutually respectful Partnership, the Sixth Harmonic or Sextile.  And so on.

  ϖ    ϖ    ϖ    ϖ    ϖ

Squares to the Nodes

Okay, finally we get to the original question.  But I think you’ll agree that the detour was useful. 

We’ve been equating the North Node to Desire and Mission, and now we’re talking about Squares as if they represented Desire.  These are two different flavors of Desire.  A North-Node Desire is hardwired in.  Moving in the direction of a North-Node Desire produces the sense that we’re on the right track, even as Satisfaction avoids us.  North-Node Desires evolve without much Frustration; we don’t recall how different our current North-Node Desires are from our picture of it five or ten years ago.  The basic sense is one of Progress.  A T-Square Desire on the other hand is an unachievable chimera that we set up to Motivate ourselves.  It’s a picture of Perfection.  It probably hasn’t changed substantially since we were five or ten years old.  The basic sense is one of Frustration.

So, if we put them both together, Progress with Frustration, gradual evolution with our Perfect Pictures, the whole process can be very Confusing.  And we may not remember that Confusion is the first stage of Growth.  That’s probably the key we need to resolve a T-Square to the Nodes – remembering that Confusion is the first stage of Growth.

Note that since the Nodes by definition Oppose one another, a Square to the Nodes is always a T-Square.

There are a couple of productive processes for dealing with Confusion.  We can acknowledge it with Gratitude.  “Omigosh, there’s Confusion!  Thank Goddess I’m Growing out of that dilemma!  That’s Exciting!”  And Curiosity.  Unlike the programming we got in school, real Learning is always Surprising.  If we had any idea how a real Life dilemma would be resolved, it wouldn’t be a dilemma.  So acknowledging Confusion as the first step of Growth almost automatically inspires Curiosity.  And Curiosity, like Love, is Goddessly, as both eschew Judgment.  We don’t want to strive for Curiosity about how our T-Square will be resolved – because we’d get stuck to our Perfect Pictures again.  Curiosity about what we’ll Learn next about our Desire fits perfectly, however.

We come to the difference between Desire and Fantasy.  Suppose for instance that we crave Acknowledgement.  If as ankle-biters we weren’t Valued for who we really were, we’ll spend our Lives craving Acknowledgement.  We have a picture of how that might happen.  We might be “Discovered,” for instance.  That’s a very nice alternative to Earning Acknowledgement.  Once who we really are is Discovered, everything else will fall into place, and it will all be easy.  That’s how we know it’s a Fantasy – everything else becomes easy.  Fantasy is a Manifestation-killer. 

When we detect Fantasy we need to substitute Curiosity.  We don’t know what it will look like when we’re Acknowledged – we’ve never been there.  We know the Perfect Picture we daydream about, but our Desire is behind that Picture, not in it.  When that Picture arises and we recognize it (how can we not? – we’ve been daydreaming it all our Life!), we need to pull the cord next to it so it rolls up like an old-fashioned window-shade.  Behind it there’s a Wilderness, and it’s Delightful and Dangerous and Exciting and very Compelling.  You can’t Imagine what’s in there!  But doesn’t it inspire Curiosity!

So let’s take some examples.  Suppose Saturn, which represents The Most Important Thing, Squares our Nodes.  It’s never this simple, because many other influences are afoot – such as the Sign of our Saturn, and other Angles to it from other planets.  But we could have a Lifetime Frustration about knowing what’s The Most Important Thing.  Is it Learning new Skills or collecting boons by using the Skills we have?  Is it Love, or is it Power?  So we need to find a reliable way to move from Confusion to Curiosity around The Most Important Thing.

In Psychic School one of the first tricks you Learn is “What if you did know?”  When Duality wants you to do Either/Or and you aren’t in touch with your Intuition enough to understand how Both/And might work in this circumstance, you can Ask yourself, “What if I did know?”  Chances are you will have already rejected at least one answer to the question, and that answer will probably pop back into Consciousness.  There’s a danger here.  This is an exercise for developing your Intuition, it’s not your Intuition. 

The answer you get is an excellent trial balloon, and a great first guess about what’s The Most Important Thing.  It’s worth trying.  But it may only work for a few steps.  West might be the correct direction for the first three strides, but you need to be alert for when Confusion arises again, and Ask again.  The next four might be North – or West again.  If you decide that one direction is Most Important forever, you’re likely to end up in a swamp.  After you practice this for a while it will become your Intuition, and you’ll develop the habit of recognizing Confusion and shifting immediately to Curiosity.  Eventually you won’t even notice the intervening steps, you’ll just Intuitively know what comes next.

But it’s still a Square; you can never sit on your laurels.  It will always be evolving, and you’ll always be Learning more about how to define The Most Important Thing, on more and more subtle levels, till you finally realize that there’s no one you can compare notes with, because no one else knows as much as you know about it – you are the Master.  It Squares your Nodes, so knowing it is The Most Important Thing in your Life.  When you Celebrate your Certainty about knowing the Most Important Thing, you’re about to step into the muck.  Celebrate Learning more about how to discern The Most Important Thing instead.

Now, think back over your Life.  How many times have you repeated this dance, and how many different ways have you Learned for dealing with it?  Include all the ways you’ve forgotten that you Learned (what if you did remember?).  In truth you’re the Master of this Process.  There’s no one better than you to teach it to others, because you’ve Explored all the blind alleys and discovered all the thoroughfares.  And more important, you know how to find the mainlines that haven’t been discovered yet. 

The primary characteristic of any Square is a shortage of Self-Acknowledgement.

That’s another process for resolving a Square in any given moment – moving to Gratitude – make a list of what is working for you.

Or Jupiter – what if Jupiter Squared our Nodes?  Jupiter is about Fortune, Expansion, Amplification.  When Jupiter dances with your Nodes, your Mission is always foremost in your Attention.  That’s fabulous, as no one will ever be able to accuse you of not immer strebend.  But it’s never Enough, is it.  Jupiter’s the Great Benefic, but Never Enough is a bummer.  So Self-Acknowledgement of your Enoughness has to become your mantra.  You’ve beaten it practically to death, but Enoughness is your Mastery.  Now you need to Master Not-Quite-Enoughness.  Your Challenge is to Learn to feel good about Performing at 90%.  When you get pretty good at that you can try 80%.  You’ll be More Than Enough at 50% – you can spend the other 50% having Fun.  You’re already doing this, aren’t you.  That’s MASTERY! 

We just can’t Acknowledge that we’re actually Manifesting the Power to Serve Effectively when we’re the Victim of our own Unconscious Motivation.  Dominion requires the Ability to Respond to “threats” to our Healthy Control.  As long as the Power to Serve Effectively is our Goal instead of Learning to Use the Power to Serve Effectively, Frustration follows, because Life is a moving target and “those people” – who really are less competent and less dedicated than you because they don’t have Jupiter Squaring their Nodes – are your Teachers, Unconsciously of course.  You’re underemployed, but you won’t be able to leverage yourself into a position where you also have the Authority and Responsibility to Serve Effectively – and the rewards, until you Learn to Honor yourself. 

There’s still time to remember all of the little and big Successes along this course, and Celebrate each one.  They’ll feel burdensome until you reframe them from Frustration about Failure, to Excitement about Learning.  Buy three big sheets of gold-colored cardboard and a “Sharpie” permanent marker.  Take an hour each week, choose one of your historical Frustrations, fully Embrace your Grief about how your hard work was unseen and unacknowledged and even actively thwarted, and then Ask “What did I Learn from this?”  If what you Learned feels negative, Ask “What was the positive function of that?”  “What was one positive thing that came out of it?

When you feel good about that Learning, cut a trophy honoring yourself for that  Success out of the gold cardboard, and give it a title and an approximate date.  As you process each historical Frustration there will be too many trophies (it’s Jupiter after all!) to keep on your mantle or altar all at once, so keep the extras in a box.  Each morning choose one trophy to put back in the box, and replace it with a new one chosen “randomly” from the box.  Spend a minute remembering the Frustration you felt as you climbed that mountain, and find the Relief you felt when you Learned that Lesson.

What about Venus?  Venus stands for our Values, so you’re probably often at odds about which Value of yours to follow.  Having multiple Values is fantastic – no danger of becoming a Zealot, eh?  But boy, those Zealots sure look Satisfied, don’t they?  Compared to my Confusion, that looks like a Blessing!  What if being Multifarious was the Blessing?  It’s a Square, it’s always a moving target.  I think of a Spiral, where we revisit the same issue over and over again but with slightly different circumstances.  A friend and reader uses the metaphor of “an elevator which stops at identical floors, but different things happen depending on where your head/vibes/frequency is.”

But the constant about is this is Constant Learning.  Your Values are Universal, but for every moment a different Hierarchy of Values applies.  If you’re anything like the rest of us, you’ve been programmed to apply the Values that were handed down by your family heritage in every moment.  You’ll be Learning how to stop and reconsider every moment, so you can apply the Values that work best in the circumstances.  You’ll know when you got it right because there will be a short burst of North-Node Satisfaction, the sense that you’re on the right track.  Till the Square’s Never-Quite-Right Energy butts in again.  No worries, it’s just Confusion, the first stage of Growth.  Isn’t that Curious!  I wonder which Values apply here – Growth or Certainty?

The Centaur Nessus Squaring the Nodes?  Confusion over Action, how to meet one’s needs with finesse rather than force, and how to replace that Confusion with Curiosity and Self-Acknowledgement.  Passive Pacifism isn’t worth much.  A Pacifist who knows how to Embrace and Master their own need to Dominate is a Teacher of Value.

The dwarf planet Ceres would tie us in knots over what’s Sustainable, and beg us to replace our Preaching and Self-Abuse about it with frequent PIAVFAs about how to make it stick. 

The poster child of dwarf planets, Pluto?  Sorry, your Life Path is intense, and you won’t bargain your way out of it.  You’ve probably already been in and out of Addiction, as there’s no faster way to understand Control.  Your Hero’s Journey is the Heroin’s Journey, figuratively or literally.  So what if no one listens to you – you see the Future, and they don’t.  Let them stumble; it’s their Learning Experience.  Your Certainty is a hindrance, though.  See if you can reprogram your Trance to seek Curiosity instead – you’re the Master of Trance-Re-Formation after all, even if you haven’t Recognized it yet.

If it’s the Centaur Hylonome Squaring your Nodes, Grief is your constant companion.  She’s just over your left shoulder.  Don’t push her away any more; Embrace Her.  Once you let Her swallow you like Inanna was swallowed by the Sun, over and over again, you’ll emerge Surprisingly quickly, each time having gained deep Insight.  Be Curious about where Grief will lead you next, as it’s a deep service to Humanity and to the Planet.

Inanna’s symbol is the Grand Octile – the Eighth Harmonic is where we go to resolve the puzzles presented by Magic.  This Ouija Board Uranus-Pluto Cycle is about Magic, and you know what comes next.  You are a Visitor from the distance Future, come to try to steer us away from impending disaster.  Embrace that Perspective without succumbing to Certainty or rejecting your constant Grief about being Unrecognized.  Grief is your greatest Tool.

Ah, Lilith.  It feels Confusing only because you’re ahead of your Time.  The World is moving toward Yindependence – Universal Respect for Self-Sovereignty – and you’re the advance guard.  Let yourself be Curious about how you can best help move the Planet forward.  The Hero’s Journey is well documented; it’s up to you to document the Heroine’s Journey for us as well.  Starhawk’s Truth or Dare is a good starting place for you.

Then there’s Uranus!  Yes, there are deep mists between you and your Soul, and many false profits.  You can’t dispel Confusion with Certainty, it must be Embraced.  It’s all Metaphor, Both/And.  What will happen if you Surrender to Confusion? 

Anyone else wanting to come forward?