Denying Nature, Transmuting Abuse

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Pan, Nature’s Head Dude, represented by the asteroid that bears His name, is Lit Up Bigtime today,¹ and has been for several days. It’ll also hang around for a week or so, but the Peak of the Energy was today. Unless we made an important Self-Protecting Decision, in which case it can become Karma and Hang Around till we Let It Go.²

The most important thing to know about this, is that Pan is Merged with both Our Soul and Our Mission.³ That’s a Powerful combination. The second-most important thing to know is that Pan and Our Soul and Our Mission have been ganging up on our Held Emotions, trying to talk them into Emerging from Hiding and Liberating us into Enlightenment.⁴ Held Emotions are the ones that we’d Rather Die Than Feel, and they’re usually Unconscious. Held Emotions are always Karmic, and Karma is never Present Moment until we make it so through Belief, so it’s not Physical Death that we Unconsciously Fear, it’s Ego Death.

And Rightly So, because the Ego is the part of our Psyche that’s in charge of Keeping us Alive! Crabs wear their Skeleton on the Outside, so they have to Molt in order to Grow, and once they Molt it takes them a week or so to harden their new larger Shell, during which time they’re extremely vulnerable to being eaten, nutcracker not required. While we probably aren’t direct descendants of Crabs, we may still have that Genetic Memory in our Karma, and for sure, when we Molt our Egos – Shell is actually a good synonym for Ego – we’re quite Defenseless until we Learn to Explain and Justify our new Ego, so there’s more than one parallel between us and Crabs.

We have to Accept Ego Death if we’re Committed to Ascension, and once we do we realize how many Ego Deaths we’ve already Lived Through Successfully – the Proof is in the Pudding. We Learn to Recognize the signs and Embrace the Fear that arises, and Learn to sail through them with Ease. The Held Emotions are always harder to Embrace, because they’re often Karma cemented by Vows we made to ourself while we were Physically Dying in another Lifetime – “I’ll Never do that again!” Those stick like Glue #10.

The third-most important thing abut Pan’s visit, is that we’re being Asked to Let Go of our Patterns around Abuse and Privilege.⁵ While we’ve had a lot of Practice over the last few years, especially when Abuse and Privilege was traveling hand in hand with Intrusive Memories (dwarf planet Gonggong) during 2015 and 2016. Revisiting Childhood Abuse is never Fun, and Dealing with Ancestral Abuse is always Tortuous and Confusing. And while Privilege seems like it should be a Privilege, it has its own Karma.

I’m always reminded of Stephen Levine’s story about a Meditation Retreat where in one session he was Reliving an Auschwitz Experience and Feeling Relieved that his Sense of Victimization was Justified. Then when he went back into Meditation after a Break, he was the one wearing the Jackboots. Wise men have said it before, but Doing Unto Creates the same Karma as Being Done Unto. That’s why Karma, which is the Inertia of Habit, is easily Confused with Retribution. When you Accept the Traditional Wisdom that We Are All One, that becomes Obvious.

Today in Florida and Texas they’re only Burning Books and The Mouse, and in Florida and Georgia and Colorado they’re trying to Burn Down Democracy, so the Oligarchy can Take All. They aren’t Burning and Drowning Witches again yet. Everyone’s Cutting Down and Burning Down the Sacred Groves again, as if they ever stopped. And some Races are undergoing Genocide as we speak. Abuse and Privilege stretches far beyond the Sexual.

The fourth-most important thing about Pan’s Illuminations, is that we’re also being Invited to Revisit and Let Go Of our Karma around the times when our Cultures Expanded so far Beyond our Values, or Beyond Values that would have Permitted our Survival, that our Civilization Collapsed.⁶

¹ Asteroid Pan Stationary 10 January 2023 (PST 4:20 am, GMT 12:20 pm 10th, IST 5:40 pm 10th, AEDT Qld 10:20 pm) in 13 Taurus, “What we carry around with us is whatever we can believe in and partake in with fantasy, speculation, wonderings, and with every tool of our soul. Whichever world we dream up we can enter, ensoul, and become entirely absorbed in. It is up to us whether it is life-giving or sterile, theoretical or practical, isolating or connecting us with something vast, more universal, more archetypal.” —Ellias Lonsdale, 360 Degrees of Your Soul Destiny, p.77.

² Life-or-Death Decisions often become Karma because we either already Believe, or have to Make ourself Believe, that our Choice was the only way out. Once we convince ourself of that, it becomes an Unconscious Limitation that’s an integral part of our Worldview as if it was a “law of Physics” (which are actually Cultural Karmic Limitations). Worse, it could have been a distant ancestor that made such a Decision (like avoiding Pork in the Middle East in the Olde Days), and the Limitation was passed down to us through Programming. Since we have no way of remembering the origin of such Karma, and since we’re Ridiculed or Shamed for Ignoring it, Letting Go of that sort of Karma has its own Difficulties. We have to lean on our natal Ixion (Psychopathic Ignorer of Traditions) to Transcend it.

³ Conjunct Uranus and North Node.

⁴ Pan-Uranus-North Node Opposite Ka’epaoka’awela (Transmutation), South Node (Held Emotions), and Zhulong (Enlightenment).

⁵ Naked (by its lonesome, without Squares) Opposition between Nessus (Abuse and Privilege) in Pisces (Emotional Baggage) and Orcus (Pattern-Breaking) in Virgo (Ego Death).

⁶ The Pan-Uranus-North Node (Soul-Mission-Nature) Opposition to Ka’epaoka’awela-South Node-Zhulong (Transmutation-Held Emotions-Enlightenment) is T-Squared by the Merger of Venus (Values), Icarus (Dangerous Ambitions), and Atlantis (Civilization Collapse).

Amethyst, Clear Quartz turned purple by Radiation, is the Classical Aid to Ego Death. Its Crown–Chakra Color reminds us nonverbally that we are Spiritual Beings having a Physical Experience, and that Emotional Drama is part of Physical Experience for Hupers, so it Behooves us to Activate our Observer Self, make some Popcorn, and Enjoy the Movie, rather than Empathizing ourselves into the Drama.

Of course, if we Detach like this before we Explore and Embrace the Experience, we can drive our Resisted Emotions further into the dark corners of the Dungeon, especially when we’re Dealing with Held Emotions. So we don’t want to Skip that Explore-and-Embrace Step. We can Explore Emotion through Sensation, for instance, since Sensation involves less Drama, as long as we Avoid Indulging our Thoughts about our Sensations. If we do, we just withdraw our Attention from the Thoughts and Re-Invest It into the Body. To Embrace, we only need to remember that Love is Soft and Warm, Fear is Cold and Hard.

When we Ask ourself Where in my Body am I Feeling this? and Focus our Attention Deeply into that Place and Hold it there, persistently Returning our Attention when it Wanders, our Judgment-Free Laser Attention can Heal without time-consuming distractions to Story, which is just Metaphor anyway. When we’re Working with Karma, there’s no one Story, there are probably at least hundreds, so Story really is a Diversion. Story is good for Invoking the Occulted Emotion, but beyond that it can become the Ego’s attempt to Avoid Change by monopolizing the Conversation.

Once the Discomfort or Intensity in our Body Moves, we’re Done, we can Detach, though we may need to Return later for a Booster or several. This all sounds Mechanical and Unfeeling, and Held Emotions often involve Horrific Terrors. They’re best just Touched in the Emotional Realm, then Explored and Embraced in the Sensation Realm. Then when we Return to Touch them again, the Intensity may be Less. If it’s not, Gary Craig, who developed EFT or Tapping, has a series of videos demonstrating the use of EFT on PTSD. PTSD and Karma are not the same thing, but PTSD is probably usually Karmic.

Amethyst from the Thunder Bay area of Lake Superior in North Ontario Canada, is often speckled with dots of Rust or Hematite, Iron Oxide. These are red, the color of the Root Chakra, so they can help us Stay Grounded while we’re Exploring out Beyond our Crown Chakra and Deep Inside our Skin. As Angie Arrien liked to say, it will help us Walk the Spiritual Path with Practical Feet.

One of my first Rock photos. Most of these were taken with a very early digital camera, before they had large “viewfinder” screens. Using that camera was very much point and shoot, as the screen was too small to really see what I was photographing. I used to call it my Magic Camera, as many of its photos were just that. I suppose I could claim some credit via my Intuition or Instincts, as my Intellect was pretty much blinded by the small screen. Sometimes I imagine how it would be to Live like that, watching Crystals spontaneously and Magically sprouting Flames. I expect 5D to be as full of Delightful Surprises. Hopefully some day I’ll Deprogram my “left brain” enough to approach it.

Whack-A-Mole or Two

By suggesting Detachment and Non-Intervention about Experiences of Abuse and Privilege, I didn’t at all mean to advise Surrendering to being Abused, or Continuing to Exercise Privilege Abusively once you Recognize you’re doing it. I meant to refer to our Memories of Abuse and Privilege, and I’ll think I’ll modify the last post to indicate that, just so there’s less danger of misunderstanding.

When we’re in the midst of Abuse and Privilege – which we all are almost daily to one degree or another – we make Choices to minimize the damage, such as the many times we decide we need the money more than we need to repay a demeaning boss, or the many times when we decide not to Express Ourself Honestly when we know we’ll just be Rejected for the Effort, or the many times when we decide not to Speak Out when witnessing Abuse because doing so doesn’t feel Safe. If you’re stuck in situations of far far worse Abuse without an apparent Exit, my Prayers are with you.

Aside from the general “fun” of revisiting our Abuse and Privilege History and Herstory, there are three big Challenges in the 16 June 2022 Abuse Review astroadventure. I’m already Deep into my Chocolate Stash – not so Detached, but we all do the best we can moment to moment. Remember that Self-Love is Central in the 14 June event, and it’s a Big Help here. As we’ve mentioned, each of the three Challenges is complemented by a large dose of Dumb-Luck Grace, and the knot of Grace knits the three Challenges together so that they appear to Resolve one another.

The first Challenge is about Trusting that our Self-Love will help Immunize us from the worst Impact of our Abuse catalog, but with two Caveats.¹ First, the World’s catalog of Huper-to-Huper and Huper-to-Planet Abuses is virtually Infinite. And second, everything in the catalog isn’t Ours. Sure, we have to Own if if we Feel it, but we need to Own the Feeling, not our Stories About the Feeling. The News Minia is dwelling on Abuses that are virtually Satanic. You can actually hear the barely-hidden Sadism in some of their Voices as they broadcast their Stories with great relish. No Blame, they’re working off their own Karma too.

But our Task is to Empathize with the Emotion of an event, not to get lost in the Stories about it. Empathy doesn’t take a long time, you can do it in a few minutes. Emotion means E(nergy in)Motion. If you let it get Stuck, it creates New Karma by Repetition. The longer you linger on the Story, the more the Story replaces the Emotion in your card catalog, and the Emotion slips under the cabinet and stays there till you remodel, which could be Lifetimes from now. Meanwhile, that Emotion, Triggered as it was by Satanic events, festers under the cabinet, attracts black mold, and becomes the seed for an autoimmune disorder.

Some of the Stories are Truly yours, Stories you Lived Through not so long ago, and haven’t Liberated yet. Every Time the Story comes up, you have the Opportunity to Feel the Sensation associated with the Emotion, as Deeply but as Neutrally as you can, and then Let It Go. You may have to Let It Go several times, or even Poor-Sweetheart yourself about having trouble Letting It Go. The more times you Let It Go, the sooner it used to be your Karma. But a lot of the Stories aren’t even Your Own Karma. They’re just click-bait, like Faceplant tries to sucker you into buying every day.

“You had a question. It’s a tough, courageous question to ask and the answer isn’t easy either. Basically, you wanted to know why permaculture [or Ascension] matters with war, pestilence, poison, and hatred engulfing the planet. How can we stay sane or claim relevance in a world where modern lethal militaries target children? What can our tiny efforts do to mitigate the damage and suffering?

“I get it. It’s all so overwhelming. So let me give it to you straight. The crises are going to worsen. It gets darker from here. Therefore, your own small efforts are not just significant, they are essential. It you stay true to your ethics and principles, your work, and the way you live will have profound positive effects on those who follow. And it will maintain your sanity.

“Now look up. The stars are out for us tonight. Take a good, long look. Take in the vastness of the expanse above you. People have been doing this for ages. We sit around the fire telling our history, the history of our people, teaching the young while the dogs take turns cracking bones by the fire and patrolling just beyond the light. The constellations tell of the seasons and ages past while the children try to connect the dots. Tonight, the Moon is holding water. Venus just set beyond Freeman Hill. A few wisps of cirrus clouds are coming in from the west. Change is in the wind. That’s the future breathing down your neck.

“Now listen. Can you hear the creek? Barely. I whispers. It should be much louder. There’s not enough water. Not enough for the fish. Not enough for the trees. Keep listening. What else is missing? The sound of insects, of forest life, mostly gone in this part of the world. The bugs are sparse, the seed crops poor, so the birds are gone. At dawn there won’t be a symphony of song greeting the day. Just a few solos. I reckon we have less than 5% of the chickadee-wren sized birds that were here just a decade ago. Haven’t seen a songbird in years.

“PFAs (forever chemicals) are in the soil, food, and water. Micro-plastics are in your lungs and accumulating in your kidneys and liver. The establishment elite lie to you about your health every day. It’s important for you to understand that you are only a commodity to them. They don’t care about your children’s health, well-being, or place in the world. That is up to you. You and your people. You’ll need healthy, vibrant soil and clean water – a major challenge. Achieving that (in the face of environmental disaster) requires adaptable, innovative, diverse, resilient design. Which means the designers must have skill, courage, and tenacity. I’m talking to you.”

M. Mathes Flora, “A View from the Far Side of the Hill,” Permaculture Design Magazine #124, May/Summer 2022, p.45.

• ¹ Asteroid Juno and the Nessus Station (Using Our Experience of Abuse and Privilege to Expand our Consciousness) in mid-Pisces Oppose Eurydike (Trust ) in 15 Virgo (There Is All the Time in the World ), T-Squared by dwarf planet Altjira (Discerning the World’s Karma from Our Own) and asteroid Sisyphus (Never Satisfying). Altjira is a Trans-Neptunian Minor Planet with an orbit of 296 years, while Sisyphus is an Earth-Crossing and Mars-Crossing asteroid with an orbit of 31 months. Its Grand Trine connects Juno-Nessus with Out-of-Bounds Karma (Intensely Processing Karma) and Ceres (Sustainability) in 14 Cancer (The Ego Is Obsolete), adjacent to Fixed Star Sirius (Brilliance) in 15 Cancer (Natural Community). The implication is that it’s Possible to Extinguish All Karma, but less likely that we’ll Let Go of All of it because we’re so Habituated to it.
• The Ceres corner of the first Grand Trine is the Focus of the second T-Square, which Squares the Opposition between Narcissus (Obsession with the Individual Ego) in 14 Libra (Lost in Time) and Mars-Chiron (Choosing between Depression and Ecstasy) in 17 Aries (Living Outside of Culture but Open to Spirit ) and 16 Aries (Through Emotion to Clarity of Purpose) respectively. Mars and Chiron adjoin Fixed Star Alpheratz (Freedom of Action) in Andromeda in 15 Aries (The Need to Be Present with Oneself ). Small wonder if you’re Feeling Bipolar.
• The Karma OOB corner of the first Grand Trine is one side of the base of the third T-Square, and Opposite Moira-Uranus (Fate/Choice and Soul ) in 21 Taurus (Adept of the Mysteries) and 18 Taurus (A Vehicle for Spirit ) respectively. These are T-Squared by asteroids Lachesis (Unexpired Karma that Can Be Released Consciously) at 16 Aquarius (Never Giving Up) and Icarus (Expanding too Fast and Going Down in Flames) at 14 Aquarius (The Darkest Shadow).
• Like Sisyphus, Icarus is also an Earth-Crossing asteroid, as well as crossing the orbits of Mercury, Venus, and Mars, with an orbit of only 14 months around the Sun. Because Icarus is so close to Earth, it appears to orbit “normally” every year or so for about five years, but then it spends the next five years or so hanging in one corner of the sky. It reached Sagittarius in late 2019, but then stuttered and stutters about till early 2024 before clearing Pisces. So Icarus-Lachesis is more of an Abrasion than a Cycle, as are Icarus-Pluto, -Pholus, -Quaoar, -Ixion, -Hylonome, -Gonggong, -Nessus, -Neptune, -Chariklo, -Saturn, and any other slow planet in that third of the Zodiac. It will linger there again from 2028 till 2033.
• While we can see Icarus as the seemingly natural Huper Tendency to Go Too Far and Get Burned, we could also see it as the apparent Huper Need to Soar to Ecstatic (or Manic) Heights. Of the 20 slow planets (orbits longer than 20 years) routinely, six are now in the first third of the Zodiac, four in the second third, and ten in the last third, Icarus’s current playground. The last third of the Zodiac is about Finishing Business. I don’t know yet if Icarus always lingers in this portion of the Zodiac, though it appears to dally mostly in that zone. For instance, between 1604 and 1611, even though it didn’t turn around till it got to Taurus, it still spent almost all of the time boomeranging between Sagittarius and Pisces. It dwelled mostly in Sagittarius-to-Pisces between November 2009 and April 2015, and between October 1999 and April 2006. Like 2019-2024, these were tumultuous times, but more so than 2006-2009 and 2015-2019? Maybe so.
• Lachesis-Icarus OOB is also one corner of the second Grand Trine, along with Narcissus and Altjira-Sisyphus.

Privilege Portal

The chart of the Emphasis on Privilege and Abuse that peaks at 5:03 am PDT on 14 June 2021 (Station of dwarf planet Nessus)…

…is all about Consciousness Expansion (the dominant feature is the T-Square [red triangle] from Nessus [Abuse and Privilege] Opposite asteroid Vesta [Unconscious Limitations] to asteroid Juno [Expansion of Consciousness], which is Conjunct the Great Attractor [Our Ultimate Destination] in 15 Sagittarius [“The Groundhog looking for its Shadow“]). While Heads always implies Tails as well, it appears to me that this Portal may be more about Privilege than about Abuse, as it Calls Out Greedheads (that is, Ground-Hogs as Hoarders and Abusers of Land). Consider this…

The guy in the pink sweater is the largest owner of farmland in the US. And he isn’t into Regenerative Farming – quite the opposite.

“Land is power, land is wealth, and, more importantly, land is about race and class. The relationship to land – who owns it, who works it and who cares for it – reflects obscene levels of inequality and legacies of colonialism and white supremacy in the United States, and also the world. Wealth accumulation always goes hand-in-hand with exploitation and dispossession. In this country, enslaved Black labor first built US wealth atop stolen Native land. The 1862 Homestead Act opened up 270m acres of Indigenous territory – which amounts to 10% of US land – for white settlement. Black, Mexican, Asian, and Native people, of course, were categorically excluded from the benefits of a federal program that subsidized and protected generations of white wealth.” —https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2021/apr/05/bill-gates-climate-crisis-farmland

But you’re probably familiar with the Shadow, “the unknown dark side of the personality. According to Jung, the shadow, in being instinctive and irrational, is prone to psychological projection, in which a perceived personal inferiority is recognized as a perceived moral deficiency in someone else. Jung writes that if these projections remain hidden, ‘the projection-making factor (the Shadow archetype) then has a free hand and can realize its object – if it has one – or bring about some other situation characteristic of its power.’ These projections insulate and harm individuals by acting as a constantly thickening veil of illusion between the ego and the real world.” —https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shadow_(psychology)

“On 24 February 2011, Italy’s Supreme Court upheld the criminal conviction of Cardinal Roberto Tucci, former president of Vatican Radio’s management committee, for creating a public nuisance by polluting the environment with radio waves. The Vatican’s broadcasts to the world, transmitted in forty languages, emanate from fifty-eight powerful radio towers occupying over one thousand acres of land, surrounded by suburban communities. And for decades, residents in those communities had been screaming that the transmissions were destroying their health as well as causing an epidemic of childhood leukemia. At the request of the Public Prosecutor’s office in Rome, which was considering bringing charges against the Vatican for negligent homicide, Judge Zaira Sacchi ordered an official investigation by the National Cancer Institute of Milan. The results, released 13 November 2010, were shocking. Between 1997 and 2003, children aged one to fourteen who lived between 6 and 12 km (3.7 to 7.5 mi) from Vatican Radio’s antenna farm developed leukemia, lymphoma, or myeloma at eight times the rate of children who lived further away. And adults who lived between 6 and 12 km from the antennas died of leukemia at almost seven times the rate of adults who lived further away.” –Arthur Firstenberg, The Invisible Rainbow, pp.231-232

“On 24 February 2011, the Supreme Court of Italy upheld the 2005 conviction of Cardinal Tucci for polluting Rome with radio waves. A ten-day suspended jail sentence was his only punishment. No one has ever been compensated for their injuries. The Prosecutor’s Office has not filed charges of negligent homicide. Vatican Radio’s antennas have not been shut down.” —ibid, p.261; see also https://www.indcatholicnews.com/news/11856

What is Unconscious is outside of our sphere of Healthy Control. Living from Unconsciousness, we’re Victims of our Fate and Karma. What is Conscious is subject to Choice. Consciousness doesn’t necessarily give us the Power, by ourself, to Change the World. But it does actually give us the Power to Change our World…

All of which doesn’t mean that our Abuse Memories (and our Outrage at Ongoing Personal and Global Abuse) won’t be Lit Up. Dwarf planets Gonggong (Intrusive Memories) and Eris (Revelation of What’s Been Denied), which abet Nessus in evoking our Abuse PTSD, haven’t been Lit Up brightly by our current Klotho/Eclipse/Nessus action, but Gonggong will be Lit Up by our 19-20 June Manifestation Adventures (simultaneous Stations of Makemake [Manifestation], Jupiter [Expansion], and Lachesis [Consciously Letting Go of Karma]). Every evocation of our Abuse PTSD is an Opportunity to Change our Programming from Revulsion to Healing. I don’t Believe that knowledge about how to make that Change is available before-hand. We just have to PIAVA the Outcome we Want, and then let it Arrive on its own.

There’s more going on in this chart…

• Soul Letting Go of Discipline that Maintains the Current Ego (Saturn Waning Square Uranus),
• Soul Descending Sustainably into Matter (Ceres Conjunct Uranus in Taurus),
• Despair over the Impossibility of Change (Chiron Opposite Klotho)

…which we can explore in the next post.

New Project Week II

As we move into our New Self (asteroid Klotho Stationary 4:30 am PDT 7 June 2021 in 18 Libra), it will behoove us to Attend to our Relationships with Abuse and with Privilege (dwarf planet Nessus Stationary 9:24 am PDT 14 June in 16 Pisces). Though it’s only one of many Challenges that will Confront our Newbie shortly after our Rebirth, Unconscious and Conscious Changes in our Relationship with Abuse and Privilege is probably the biggest one. The intervening Challenges…

• Emotional Intensity (Moon moving Out of Bounds for four days starting 10:57 pm PDT 9 June in 18 Gemini). This hits a peak on 11 June (Moon Stationary in North Declination 25:39 and Longitude 11 Cancer at 9:08 pm PDT), and fades on 13 June (Moon moving back In Bounds at 6:19 pm PDT in 4 Leo).

• Ego Death(s) Required to Let Go of Karma (asteroid Karma moves into Virgo 2:34 pm 9 June). If you have a Journal, Karma was previously in the Sign of Ego Death (Virgo) between 1 December 2020 and 23 January 2021), before it backed back into Leo till 2 April. It’s been moving forward in its third Dance over the last five Duads (2½ Degrees) of Leo since then. This deserves a post of its own.

💥 For now we’ll just say that Virgo is what happens between the Cyclic Culmination of our Individual Identity (Leo) and Meeting Not-Us or Other (Libra). Just as Pisces is about Letting Go of Emotional Baggage so we don’t have to drag it with us into our next Adventure, Virgo is about Letting Go of Obsolete Identities so we don’t mess up our Relationships with Others by “Pretending” (usually Unconsciously) to be someone we ain’t. “Others” includes not just People, but since Everything in the Universe is Conscious, it also includes Everything that we aren’t Being or Owning in the Moment. For example, if you Identify with Loving Nature, prove it to yourself by Inviting a Bird to perch on your finger, without pooping on your hand or giving you Salmonella.

💥 We also need to say that our most troubling Karma is where We Would Rather Die than Feel That Again, aka our “Held Emotions” (South Node). Because most Hupers Believe that we’re Once-Born or Twice-Born, we misinterpret “I’d Rather Die Than Feel That” as “I’d Rather Die Than Feel That,” while it’s really “I’d Rather Die Than Feel That” – Ego Death. We’re just sawing through one of the legs of the three-legged stool we usually sit on. If we Want to minimize Pain, we’d stand up before we did that. But if you know what it means to Go Without an Identity (ie, stepping out of your Identity) for a few minutes, I’d love to know. The Emotion of Confusion is the closest we can come, and we regard Confusion as one of the best Emotions because it’s the Doorway to Evolution. We usually try to suppress it by Figuring Out What’s “Wrong,“ which is one of our most Self-Destructive Habits.

• Illuminations about the State of our Planet and the Likelihood of our Survival if we continue on our Current Trajectory (Annular Eclipse of the Sun 3:52 am PDT 10 June in 20 Gemini [Sabian Symbol “A modern cafeteria displays an abundance of food, products of various regions“], primarily impacting the several weeks following it). It will be visible if you happen to be crossing the North Pole (bring a Boat, that’s cold Water). An Annular Eclipse is one where the moon is far enough from the Earth that it doesn’t quite appear to cover the face of the Sun – an Almost-Total Eclipse. Consciousness Grows by Discovery, not by Invention, and under Eclipses we Discover what’s now missing, that we hadn’t noticed previously. For more details, see https://svs.gsfc.nasa.gov/4910.

• An Increase in Selfishness (Mars enters Leo 6:33 am PDT 11 June). Which is not always a Negative thing. We can’t Love Other Fully until we Love Ourself Fully. Given our Illuminations about the State of the Planet and its Huper inhabitants, though, the Greedheads will probably be making another Power Grab. If we Pray enough for it, they might Betray their Heartlessness and be met with Rotten Tomatoes, or better yet new laws about, say, voting, taxing, and legal theft, and new Cultural Norms about Worshiping Wealth. The few Greedheads who aren’t Sociopaths might even have Epiphanies about their own antisocial Greed. Mars will stay in Leo till the end of July.

While we usually just dwell on the Back-of-Hand/Palm dynamics of Abuse and Privilege, we should actually look at the Pros and Cons of each. For instance, having Privilege can make so many things so much Easier. Rather than Gloating about our supposed Superiority as the source of our Privilege, or arming ourself to the hilt to keep the Rabble from “stealing” back what we’ve stolen from them, or Resisting Privilege because we’re Conscious of the Abuse that results and Guilty about it, we might instead find our Gratitude for our Privilege. In 5D where Collaboration outduels Competition, we’ll no long be in a Zero-Sum World, but back in a Natural World where the Sum is Much Greater than its Parts. From a place of Gratitude for our historical Privilege we may be able to Share it or Teach Others how to Enjoy it without creating more Abuse – not like the Missionaries that enabled the Conquistadors, however. How would we avoid that?

As for Abuse, until enough people Unite against the Psychopaths and Sociopaths and Missionaries (which will require that we no longer Worship Wealth and Greed) and enforce a meaningful Equality, the most positive feature I can envision for Abuse, is for it to Inspire us to Delete our Abuse Karma. History of course was written by the Abusers, who were by and large proud of their Conquists, so the Horrors of our Karmic History may be Exaggerated by their Pride, though I’m not naive enough about the Cruelty and Sadism of our Species, or the extreme Privilege of the Abusers, to Believe that any such Exaggeration has been more than slight.

“Trust but Verify” is good advice. During the 1980s, when Pluto was in Scorpio and Recovery was all the rage, I Learned to Ask, “What color is the wallpaper?” to remind myself that most PTSD episodes are Flashbacks and not Present-Moment. The Jungle “wallpaper” of Vietnam, and the Bare Metal “wallpaper” of the Ships, contrasts with even unadorned wallboard, so we could distinguish hallucinations from real napalm, torture, anal probes, and implants. Grounding is always a helpmate (running an imaginary cable from the base of your spine to the center of the Earth), Eating, and Orgasm are reliable Grounders.

Mirrors are always useful, especially when you’re trying to Heal Feelings that aren’t yours, which is not possible. Mirrors are even useful as a first response – when you’re Feeling awful without obvious Triggers, take the first person who comes to mind, and for five to ten seconds hold a wardrobe Mirror between you and them, facing them. If your Feelings become more acceptable, you know you’re trying to run their Emotions through your Body – or, they’re Manipulating you. If you’re being Manipulated, even with the best Intentions, it’s never fun. Most folks are totally Unconscious that they’re Manipulating. Mirrors are a good strategy for dealing with Climate Deniers, Mask Objectors, Gun Freaks, folks who want to Deny your Vote and Control your Body, and other Antichrist Lovers. You won’t need to get into a hopeless morass of Conversation with them, and if you position your Mirror so it Reflects their Energy back at them, they’ll get a bit of their own toxic “Medicine.”

The Big Advantage of using “Then versus Now” tricks, Grounding, and Mirrors, is that they’re Habit-forming. When we’re Vulnerable to Manipulation by Other People’s Energy, it’s because our Programmers “Intentionally” (though probably Unconsciously) carved a Hole in the back of our Aura, so they could reach in and pull our strings whenever they wanted or needed to. It often looks and feels like Shaming. Habitual Manipulators “see” those Holes, usually Unconsciously, so we can be Manipulated by strangers we pass on the street. Our Programmers just thought it was good parenting, and you may do it yourself when your own kids threaten to drive you Batty. As these “tricks” become a Habit, the hole in our Aura actually Seals Up, so not only do the “tricks” become second-nature, they also Heal the Source of our Dis-Ease. When our Will is Healthily Self-Serving, Habitual Manipulators pass us by without a second glance, because we’re useless as an Object for their Power Games.

Issues such as these may Confront our Experiential Infant this coming week. It never hurts to recall that we’re actually an Eternal Energy Nexus (often called an “Immortal Soul”) borrowing a Material Body. Energy can never be Destroyed, only Transformed. Revelation of Denial (dwarf planet Eris) remains Out of Bounds through all of this (until 4:12 am PDT 18 July in 20 Cancer), so don’t be Surprised if New Information about your Personal or Karmic History or Herstory comes into your Consciousness during these Adventures. If you’ve noticed that almost everything above occurs in 16-20 Degrees of one Sign or another, you’ll be checking your natal chart to see what will be Lit Up for you, as your own Energy System meshes with the Planet’s.

All of this is Important, because as we get past the 14 June Exaggeration of Abuse and Privilege (Nessus Station), we drop into a week of very Intense Manifestation Energy, as three Big Energies are simultaneously Emphasized. When Energies Conjoin in Time, it’s as if they’re Conjoining in Longitude – and these Big Fellas are also actually in neighboring Degrees of their respective Signs. The three Energies are Manifestation Itself (dwarf planet Makemake Stationary 6:42 pm PDT 19 June in 6 Libra), Expansion (Jupiter Stationary 8:04 am PDT 20 June in 3 Pisces, and The Opportunity to Jettison Karma Early (asteroid Lachesis Stationary 2:42 pm PDT 20 June in 6 Scorpio).

If as is the case hereabouts, you’re Wondering why the Foundations of your Personal Infrastructure seems to be Falling Apart, each Failure is a Big Clue about the Unconscious Energies “you” are running but not Owning, that Block what you’re trying to Manifest. Take time to Sit with each Failure of Intention or Function, and Merge with it Energetically. The Objective is to Meet each of your Unconscious Blocks as Energy Clusters in the Unconscious, Meet them in Neutral territory without Bias or Judgment on your part, and with an Open Mind Ask the Question, “Is this Energy really My Own, but I’ve been Denying it?”

2020 The Year… 3

A friend writes…

“Been imagining lately, and this is sort of metaphysically far-fetched, but, if our reality really is malleable, and if it really is created by the thoughts of the collective masses, then, if enough people could imagine healing what has been damaged, then, could we actually magically clean the waters…?”

Which clarifies my thoughts about the previous post…

“Unfortunately, our Unconscious Thoughts have more Power than our Conscious Thoughts, which is why we need so badly to Embrace our Held Emotions.  Anything in us that is flying under our radar, is in Control.  Do we seek Justice, or do we seek Peace?  The Bottom Line [in the previous post] appears to be how we deal with our Abuse.  It has to be from Unconditional Self-Love, Taking our Power, and Respect for All Things.  And yes, if we knew how to do this we would have done it long ago, so we also need to Surrender to the Larger Process, whatever that is, and let the Heart’s Light Guide us, NOT the mind…”

If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you know that we place emphasis on the Stations – the times when a planet appears, from our vantage point on Earth as we go ’round the Sun, to Slow Down then Stop and then Turn Around and go the other way.  We emphasize Stations this because we’ve Observed that the influence of the planet is very Strong at these times.  So when we look at a chart, the Stations and the T-Squares are what we look for first, because in our Experience they’re prominent in how we Experience the chart.

A planet is “Stationary” when it’s moving very Slowly, and its “Exact Station” is when it Stops.  As for the influence of the Station upon us, it in general increases as we get closer to the Exact Station, then abruptly decreases.  However, if we don’t Realize that we’re being overly influenced by the Station, then we can make Decisions to Protect our Ego, and those Decisions can impact our Lives far beyond the Exact Stations, in some cases becoming new Karma (this Decision process describes the impact of dwarf planet Orcus, which is Lit Up in the recent Vesta Station chart which is part of the 1 January 2020 complex).

For the 1 January 2020 chart, the chart for the “birth” of the Year and the Decade, we’ve already talked about the Station of dwarf planet Makemake, which symbolizes Manifestation.  To use it as an example, Makemake is Challenged (T-Squared) by our Held Emotions or Existing Karma (Jupiter-South Node), the Emotions we’d rather Die than Feel.  That’s not usually a Physical Death, though it certainly can be.  When we feel like “I’d rather Die!” we’re usually putting the emphasis on the  Die  part.  But it’s actually on the  I  part, because “I’d rather Die” is an Expression of the Need for an Ego Death, or a Molt of our Identity.

Ego Deaths are not pleasant, simply because we feel like we’re Dying, and in fact, We Are, because our Ego is who we Believe ourselves to Be, and when our Ego Dies, “We” Die.  When the process works, we Molt, the Sun comes back up and we become Reborn, after which we Identify as a New, more Comprehensive Ego.  Other than Feeling Dazed, we don’t usually conceptualize our Molts that way.  If we can possibly Reprogram ourself to Recognize the symptoms of Ego Death while we’re in the throes, and then Focus on Who We Might Become Later instead of How Miserable We Feel at that moment, we may be able to become Adept at the process, making Life incredibly Easier and more “Productive,” where by “Productive” we mean moving toward Enlightenment more expeditiously.

That doesn’t mean we can skip the Feeling Miserable part – we get to Rising Above Feeling Miserable only by Diving Deeply into it.  Only when we can be Neutral about All of our Emotions (including Arrogance), when we can Receive them as Information about what’s going on (e.g., Arrogance doesn’t mean we’ve become Enlightened, it means we’re being Overinflated), rather than Merging our Identity with our Emotions and/or becoming their Victim, only then will we approach the “Ascension” we Want for the Planet, and make our own effective Contribution to its Collective Energy.

For example, the Makemake/Manifestation Challenge that we talked about in the earlier post, had “something to do with” (Quincunx/Curiosity) Abuse and Privilege (Nessus).  So, maybe (Quincunx again) if we can’t extract ourself from Merging totally with our Abuse Memories and find our Observer Self to look back at ourself and Witness our Regressed and Present-Moment Emotions (perhaps by for instance, Poor-Sweethearting ourself, or using a trick like Asking what color is the wallpaper) and Accept these Emotions Compassionately and Fully, maybe we might make a Decision Never to Allow Ourselves to be Vulnerable again or something like that.

Well, a Decision or Vow like that, carried forward, will cause us to miss out on many of the best parts of Living.  Chances are, since Abuse has been a prominent characteristic of Huperity since the Beginning of Time, that was how we Created our Karma in the first place, eons ago.

Or, maybe rather than Feeling Gratitude for Good Fortune, we patted ourself on the back and Gloated about our Superiority, and we made a Decision that Ripping off our “Inferiors” was a great way to Enjoy Life, and got Attached to our Privilege.

Goddess Knows this is pretty much what’s been going on since the 1980s, with Hupers sorting themselves into the 1% and the 99%.  In the juxtaposition of Manifestation (Makemake) with Abuse/Privilege (Nessus), this Polarity may increase to the point of Breaking as we move into the new Decade.  What we need to do is maintain our Curiosity about it (Quincunx), rather than thinking we Know what’s going on.  If we can maintain Neutrality, we can Agitate for one side or the other (Equality or Superiority, Gratitude or Arrogance) without getting Attached to Outcomes.  We might even be able to seek Common Ground.

If you think Passion and Neutrality are oxymoronic, you’re stuck in “Left Brain” Duality.  It may be a Paradox to Live with both Passion and Neutrality dialed to a high level, but it’s not a Contradiction.  Contradictions exist only in Duality, and Reality is Multifarious and Unitary.

We say all this to introduce the fact that a second planet is also Stationary, the asteroid Klotho, which is about Starting a New TimeLine, where a TimeLine can be a Habit, a LifeTime, a job, a Relationship, or anything else that can be seen to have a Beginning and an Ending.  In our next installment we’ll look at the impact of the Klotho Station on 2020 and beyond.

Abuse Week IV

A visiting Angel disguised as an electroblast from the Sun, over Norway…

https://spaceweather.com/archive.php?view=1&day=21&month=11&year=2019

We’re now deep in the grip of three separate “Stations,” or times when the influence of a planet is particularly Strong.  The three Stationary planets are

• Dwarf planet OR10, which doesn’t have an official name yet even after a dozen years since its discovery.  It’s about Intrusive Memories, generally (though not always) what we’re more Comfortable Forgetting.  21 November 2019 (noon PST) in 4 Pisces.

• Dwarf planet Nessus, which is about Abuse and Privilege.  Abuse occurs only when the Perp feels Privileged, which allows them to regard their Victim as Less Than in some way.  Does Abuse always follow from Privilege?  Not always, but if you want to Learn more about Abuse, start by looking at Privilege.  It might Ask you to reconsider your definition of Abuse – for instance, isn’t Homelessness a direct result of the Privilege embedded in our Culture’s Worship of Hoarding Wealth, which in turn is partially caused by the Abusiveness of our Culture’s Failure to Embrace Unconditional Community?  21 November (4:30 pm PST) in 9 Pisces.

• Asteroid Atropos, which is about the Ending of TimeLines, where a TimeLine can be a Lifetime, a Habit, a Relationship, a job, a place to Live, or any episode in one’s Life.  Atropos is especially active in Ending Karmic Patterns.  Most of us Experience Karma as if it was Fate, but if we can bring it into Consciousness, we can convert it to Choice instead.  22 November (2pm PST) in 7 Aries.

The Locations of the three Stations, only a few Degrees apart, and their Timing at only one day apart, tell us to Interpret all three as One Energy – we most likely won’t be able to Tell the three Energies apart.  Fortunately, the Energy is overwhelmingly Positive, so set your Intention that any Abuse Memories that arise Are Being Healed and Let Go Of (I avoid the term Release because I don’t want the Unconscious to think I want to Re-new my Lease).

The overall chart is Complex…

…so we’ll break it into more manageable chunks.  Even though it’s benevolent in this case, we’ll stick to our usual habit of starting with the Challenge (T-Square).  This first chunk, below, is not just Self-Resolving (Diamond Square), but also a Dumb-Luck Blessing (Grand Trine).  It’s all about the Life Force (Varuna). 

Since Hidden Emotional Gunk underlies most or possibly all Physical Discomfort, if we Allow our Abuse Memories (no matter how we Perceive them) to be about Letting Go, we’re likely to Manifest Significant and potentially Miraculous Physical Healing.  Also, since our Abuse of our Home Planet is the direct result of Denying the Life Force and Consciousness of Earth’s multifarious plenitudes of Non-Human and even Inanimate Denizens, we could see a major Tripping Point in Earth Repair as well…

Looks like a spaceship jetting toward Good Health and Vitality (Varuna), don’t it?

The second chunk is about a Huge Leap forward (Diamond Star and Grand Cross) in Grokking what we are actually Capable of Accomplishing (Moon-Juno-Makemake-Sappho) and Taking Responsibility for (Pholus-Quaoar-Ceres-South Node)…

Not to mention Abandoning our Victimhood (Atropos-Chiron Opposite the Makemake Stellium).

Which leaves the jumble below, the most coherent piece of which advises us that Facing the Truth about Abuse and Choosing otherwise would be an excellent road for us to follow (Finger of God to Aletheia-Veritas-Sun-Pallas, which Squares the OR10 and Nessus Stations)…

Plus the suggestion that, Evoking our Life Mission – without trying to Define It! (Quincunx) – will aid that process greatly (OR10-Nessus Square Aletheia Stellium Quincunx North Node Trine OR10-Nessus Tricolor).

A second suggestion also pops out – that we use Prayer or Intention or Intuition or other process of Focusing on our Desired Outcome (PIAVA – Quincunx) rather than Planning and Executing a Defined Methodology (PDSA or the equivalent) to determine the Actions we’ll take to Abandon our Victimhood (North Node Square Atropos-Chiron Quincunx Mars Trine North Node Tricolor).

Finally, we have a potentially Huge Blessing (Almost Grand-Sextile) which we can put into Action by simply Persisting in our Efforts, and Recognizing that our Journey is a Spiral – when we Return to a Place where we’ve been Before, it’s not an indication that we haven’t made progress, because in the interim We Have Changed.  So even if our Abuse Memories Feel as Painful as before, We Have Become More Conscious, and if we think about it for a moment we’ll Realize that we’re now able to Embrace our Wounded Self more Lovingly than before, and that is a Giant Leap forward (the Vacancy is 6 Virgo, “A merry-go-round”)!

If we can find the time, we’ll flesh these out more in subsequent posts…

Abuse Week II

An excellent example of Abuse and Privilege on the national scale…

https://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/homeless/more-seattleites-are-housing-homeless-people-in-their-backyards-but-its-happening-slowly/

Abuse Week 1

Remember a while back when the symbol for Abuse and Privilege (dwarf planet Nessus) was crossing the symbol for Invasive Memories (dwarf planet OR10) and we were very busy Enduring, and hopefully, Letting Go of lots of old Abuse Memories?  (See https://astrobuss.wordpress.com/category/cycles/nessus-or10/.)  We get big-time flashbacks this week, as both of these dwarf planets are Strong (Stationary) on the same day again.  Fortunately, the symbol for Ending TimeLines (asteroid Atropos) is also Strong this week; that should help.  The schedule looks like this…

♥ Up until 11am PST 20 November 2019 – Mercury (Communication, Analysis) turns Direct at 12 Scorpio.  We usually pretty much ignore Mercury because a primary thesis of ours is that the more frequently astroevents recur, the more practice we have with them, and the more Routine is our Experience of them – and Mercury does most everything frequently.  But this event stands out because Mercury has been Dancing in Scorpio (Diving Deep to Get to the Bottom of Things) at the same time as the Truth Twins (asteroids Aletheia and Veritas) were Diving Deep.

The Mercury Station chart very much introduces Abuse Week, as the symbol for Abuse and Privilege (dwarf planet Nessus) and that for Making Emotional Decisions (the Moon Merged with dwarf planet Orcus) are Challenged (Squared) by the symbol for Beginning New TimeLines (asteroid Klotho).  Meanwhile our Lifetime Template (the Nodal Axis) is Challenged by the need to Confront our Fate (asteroid Moira) and our Codependence (dwarf planet Hylonome).

On the plus side of the ledger, there is Great Emotional Grace available to us (Mercury-Nessus-North Node Water Grand Trine).

♥ Up until noon PST 21 November, the symbol for Intrusive Memories (dwarf planet OR10) is Strong (Stationary) in 4 Pisces.

♥ Up until 4:30 pm PST 21 November, the symbol for Abuse and Privilege (dwarf planet Nessus) is Strong (Stationary) in 9 Pisces.

♥ Up until 2pm PST 22 November, the symbol for Ending Timelines (asteroid Atropos) is Strong (Stationary) at 7 Aries.

In addition to being close together in Time, these four Stations are all within a few Degrees of each other, at 4, 7, 9, and 12 Degrees.  That means we’re likely to Experience them as All One Event.  If we’ve been practicing at Becoming Conscious of our Karma so we can Choose Different Habits – as the astrology has been coaching us to do since at least the End of Time As We Know It and the Uranus-Pluto Square in 2012 – we can look forward to saying a final Goodbye to some old unpleasant Habits of being “in the wrong place at the wrong time” and getting Abused for it.

And if we’ve been practicing at Becoming Conscious of our Karma so we can Choose Different Habits, we can also look forward to getting Called Out on some old pleasant Habits of being in a position of Power and practicing Privilege.  Whenever you Exercise Privilege, someone else receives Abuse.

If we have NOT been practicing at Becoming Conscious of our Karma, we may well find ourselves in a “last straw” situation, “blowing up” at being Abused again, and finally setting a solid Boundary to prevent its recurrence.  Bravo!  May you be Bulletproof and Bullyproof!

And similarly, if we have NOT been practicing at Becoming Conscious of our “Good” (favorable to our Ego, that is) Karma or Privilege, we may find ourselves seriously shot down for Unconsciously Abusing someone.  These days that can have serious repercussions on our Reputation, Career, Relationships, and even Criminal Status.

For instance, the Billionaire Class is coming under fire for their Sociopathic Avarice these days.  Till recently they’ve been treated as if they were Gods.  The Occupy Movement and its Identification of the rest of us as “the 99%” was a necessary start, but you saw how quickly it faded into Obscurity.  This time may be more lasting.  Even some of the Billionaires are calling for a Jubilee.

Racism may be becoming more obvious as well.  A few years ago the media, the NFL, and the government conspired to take a protest against Open Season for the police to shoot to kill young black men, and Spin it into “disrespect for the flag.”  Masterful as PR, but unspeakably Evil as public or quasi-public policy, and as “journalism.”  Colin Kaepernick is becoming more visible again, with a public workout this last weekend.  Maybe there will be forward motion on Privilege and Abuse.

More on these themes and charts as the week progresses.

Snakes and Ladders I

With a huge Reset going on here, it makes more sense to use Birth-chart Sensitivity or “Orb” – 6-8 Degrees, rather than our usual 3-Degree Current-Moment or “Transit”-chart Sensitivity, so we’ve Compromised to a degree.  All of this month’s Stations occur in the same 0-to-9-Degree Zone, and the early-June Nessus Station is at 10 Degrees.  ‘Tis a busy chart.

We should start with the “biggest” Configuration, which is a Grand Cross (Hassles Galore, but they’re often Mutually Complementary) and a Grand Trine (Blessings Galore) with common corners.  This is traditionally considered an “ideal” chart, as it combines great Energy and Motivation (the Grand Cross) with ample Grace (the Grand Trine). 

That is, however, a Colonialist Perspective, where the most Celebrated Traits are Effort and Successful Exploitation of Others.  The current Western Patriarchal and Hierarchical Cultural model, in other words, where the Strong win over the “Weak” (including those with different Life Goals, which are by definition Weak).  The Prize is Ego Inflation, Confidence, and Privilege.  Aka Corruption and Abuse, when seen from underneath. 

We can see this playing out in the news all over the Planet, as this Game is the stock and trade of the Declining Patriarchy.  There’s nothing Abusive or Colonialist or Patriarchal about a Grand Cross-Grand Trine (“GC-GT”) chart itself; it’s the notion that it’s an ideal chart that’s Patriarchal.  There’s a sense in which being born with such a chart “condemns” one to a Life of Effort and Achievement.  But Effort and Achievement can readily be directed toward non-Patriarchal Goals like Community, Collaboration, Balance, Flow, Attunement, and the like.

Here’s the Grand Cross-Grand Trine version of the chart…

We’ve drawn the chart for the time when the Moon reaches the Midpoint between the 18 May Atropos Station (Endings) at Degree 1 and the 21 May Klotho Station (Beginnings) at Degree 0.  You can see that the other two Fate asteroids, Lachesis (the Length of a Timeline) and Moira (Fate or Choice) are close by at 6 and 5 Degrees respectively.  [In case you’ve forgotten, we always round Degrees up – 29 becomes 30 or 0, 0 becomes 1, etc.]

The Grand Trine is extended into a Kite by Chiron, but if we focus first on the primary GC-GT elements, it’s the Atropos-Eurydike-Makemake (Endings-Trusting-Creating) Stellium (a group of 3 or more planets) that’s the overwhelming Star of the chart, as the corner where the GC and the GT converge, as well as the location of the Atropos Station.

So the first thing we need to do is talk about the Cusp of Libra, which is as important as the Aries Point (Cusp of Aries).  At the Aries Point a Seed of Spirit is planted into the fertile soil of our Soul.  At the Libra Cusp we meet Other for the first time.  Aries-to-Virgo is about our Personal Development, Libra-to-Pisces our Social Development.

We are, All of us, as Individuals and as Members of Groups of all sizes, entering a whole new phase in our Relationship to Other Individuals, and a whole new phase in our Relationship to Community.  In a nutshell, we’re now Creating our own Social and Relationship Realities (Makemake), Dropping our Olde Obsolete Patterns around Relationship and Culture (Atropos), and Trusting that we’re going in the right direction (Eurydike) even though we seem to be Betraying Mom’s admonition that “You cannot do that, it breaks all the rules you learned in school.”

Keep that in mind when you’re tempted to be Motivated by Guilt or a Need to Please Others at the Expense of your own Values and Needs.  Expect your Self-Sovereignty to be Tested as we approach 27 May (the Eurydike/Trust Station), when we’re likely to be Tempted to turn back to our Olde Codependent Ways when our old playmates complain that they are being Betrayed by the Shift in our Values and Behaviors.

Which is where Chiron comes in.  The Kite shifts the focus of the GC-GT to Chiron, at the top of the Kite.  Atropos-Eurydike-Makemake (Trusting-that-We-Can-End-Impediments-to-Manifesting-What-We-Want) becomes the Tail that Wags the Dog, and the Dog is Chiron or Despair, Despair that we “can’t win” – we get little Support for trying to Go Our Own Way, but the rewards for running our old Patterns are diminishing rapidly.

Until of course we Empathize with our Despair – “You Poor Sweetheart, you’re feeling like you can’t Win, aren’t you.”

The other two corners of the Grand Trine, from which our Blessings flow, are

• Taking an Active Part in our New Beginnings (Mars-Klotho), which will probably seem Confusing and Difficult until 21 May, when Klotho Completes its Station.  Confusion is the first stage of Growth.

• Following our Essence (Sun), our Heart, or our Guidance, which in the midst of Rapid and Big Change, can also be Confusing.  We may be in the Habit of Resisting our Fate in favor of Choice, but in this case we’re Asked to Choose to Accept our Fate, because our Fate is Transformation (Moira Conjunct Sun).

A final Caveat.  If you have Expectations about What-It-Will-Look-Like-When-You-Go-Your-Own-Way, rest assured that they’re Dead Wrong, no matter how Psychic you’ve proven to be in the past.  This is a New Game.  Yes, if you’re Intuitive you’ll Recognize Home when you see it, but it’s the Vibration you’ll Recognize, not the Form. 

If you’re eager to Play It Forward, focus on How-It-Will-Feel-When-You-Go-Your-Own-Way instead.  And make the Effort to Revert to a Blank Slate before noon PDT on 21 May, so you can be Surprised and Delighted when it Feels Even Better once Klotho Completes its Station.

Another Complication – at 11 am PDT on 22 May, Orcus Completes its Station.  Orcus is about Pattern-Breaking.  So even after noon on 21 May you might still be a prisoner to  your Olde Archetypes.  So feel free to focus on How-It-Will-Feel-When-You-Go-Your-Own-Way, but you also want to PIAVA that you can Gently and Lovingly and Rapidly and Completely Let Go of All Patterns and Habits that Inhibit your Soul’s Destiny and your Ego’s Transformation to Supporting it Fully.

Close your Eyes and Look around for any Cables, Chains, or Dark Spots, particularly behind you.  One at a time, Gently remove the Barbed Hooks at your end of each Cable or Chain, and hand it back to its Source.  If its Source won’t take it, feed it to an Alligator.  Alligators are very Skilled at this Work.  One at a time, put a Mirror between you and any Dark Spots, facing the Dark Spot, then switch on the Bright Light that aims into the Darkness from the top of the Mirror.

Scan your Body for any Foreign Feelings – crawling or goosebumps or raised hackles (but not just your neck).  Put your Attention into that Hole in your Aura, and PIAVA that your Self-Sovereignty and your Essence Lovingly and Gently and Rapidly and Completely patch the Hole, Permanently, with your own Energy. 

You’re likely to feel Vulnerable there for a couple of days; consider the fact that you can now Feel your Vulnerability as evidence that you’re Healing – till now you were Unconscious of the Wound.  Like a Tick or Mosquito, your Programmers distracted your Attention before they installed the Hooks.  Whenever you’re Conscious of Feeling the Vulnerability, Fill it with your own Heart Energy.

More to follow.

Healing Abuse Full Moon

The Paradox Yin Gate Full Moon will impact us strongly from a few days before 31 March (4:30 am PST), to several weeks thereafter.  It’s at 11 Degrees of Libra.  A Yin Gate (three Oppositions one Sign apart; the Power arises from the four Quincunxes formed by the ends of the Oppositions) Configuration symbolizes a Mystery School to Teach us how to Accept Paradox…

“The current composition of the Earth’s space comes into being through a very limited cooperation between the rational mind on one side and the consciousness of nature, including its life forces, on the other.  It is a result of a millennia-long process during which the [European-dominated] collective human mind has selected only those elements of the multidimensional reality that can be addressed through rational thought and causal logic.  We [in Cultures of European origin] currently perceive and live in space as a rationally structured extract of reality, not reality itself.” –Mark0 Pogačnik, Sacred Geography, p.13.

Communication (Mercury) Conjoins Essence (the Sun), indicating Insight, while asteroids Trust (Eurydike) and Endings (Atropos) are Merged with (Conjoin) the Goddess (Moon), signifying that we’re in the process of Letting Go of Barriers to Trust.  The Full Moon itself is one diagonal axis of the Yin Gate, while the Nodal Axis is the other – meaning that the Paradoxes that we’re Learning to Accept As They Are (rather than trying to squeeze them into Duality) here are Fundamental to Life.

Action (Mars), Focus (Saturn), and Letting Go of Obstacles to Self-Sovereignty (Hylonome) Challenge (T-Square) the Full Moon.  Bottom Line, this Full Moon (apart from the Paradoxes) is about Trusting that if we take the Risk to Express our True Self, the Universe will make a Safe Space for us.

We can Expect major Epiphanies around Fear, Truth, and Self-Abandonment (Mjōlnirs to Sedna from the Moon-Hylonome Square, to Veritas from the Sun-Hylonome Square, and to Hynonome-Saturn-Mars from the Veritas-Sedna Square; a Mjōlnir is formed when a third planet sits at the Far Midpoint between the two ends of a Square, Trioctile to each).  When Fear arises, and when you don’t feel Grounded, remember your Tapping, Breathing, and Kegels.

The crux (central axis) of the Paradox Lesson is the Opposition between Abuse and Privilege (Nessus) and Breaking Oaths (Orcus).  Under the Duress of Abuse, we made Pledges to ourself such as “I can Never talk about this or they’ll Kill Mom,” and “This is too Painful or Weird, I have to Numb myself to it in order to Survive,” and “I don’t know how or when, but someday I’ll get even for this,” and the like. 

The Pledges may have been Conscious, Semi-Conscious, or fully Unconscious (made without our Conscious Awareness).  Abuse can take many forms – sexual, physical, mental, emotional, neglect or Abandonment, overfocus or Suffocation, Shaming, and many other processes, including Adults Expecting to be Parented by their Children.

These Oaths present major Lose-Lose Dilemmas.  By definition we were on the Losing end of Privilege, which means we lacked a context and language to put the Abuse into any sort of Framework or Context.  No matter how Obsessively we tried, we were never able to figure out “What did I do to Deserve this?” 

So we never had a way to Explain it to ourself, let alone talk about it, even if we could do so without disastrous consequences.  That’s still True today.  You can Justify neither your Victim nor your Outrage, and those two Mysterious and Powerful parts of yourself are still Arguing vehemently with one another inside yourself.

The Paradox is that It-Was-What-It-Was and there’s nothing we can do to Change it other than (starting by) Accepting our Confusion for the True Emotion that Confusion is, without trying to make Sense of it. 

It might help us get grounded if we open a journal and write out both sides of the Argument, one of the left-hand page and the other on the right-hand page.  The “Reasons” for the Abuse we received were not from the Current Lifetime, which Limits our ability to Grok What Happened and Why.  Give the Effort to Understand over to the Goddess, every time you’re Tempted to Indulge it.

Poor-Sweetheart your Abused Self, your Confused Self, your Angry Self, and any other Folk who show up.  Then Listen to see if they have anything to say to you.  Healing won’t occur till you Learn to Embrace every one of your Inner Denizens with Unconditional Self-Love.  Consistently and Permanently.  See if you can move in this direction while using as few words as possible.