Archive for the ‘Privilege’ Category

Healing Abuse Full Moon

March 30, 2018

The Paradox Yin Gate Full Moon will impact us strongly from a few days before 31 March (4:30 am PST), to several weeks thereafter.  It’s at 11 Degrees of Libra.  A Yin Gate (three Oppositions one Sign apart; the Power arises from the four Quincunxes formed by the ends of the Oppositions) Configuration symbolizes a Mystery School to Teach us how to Accept Paradox…

“The current composition of the Earth’s space comes into being through a very limited cooperation between the rational mind on one side and the consciousness of nature, including its life forces, on the other.  It is a result of a millennia-long process during which the [European-dominated] collective human mind has selected only those elements of the multidimensional reality that can be addressed through rational thought and causal logic.  We [in Cultures of European origin] currently perceive and live in space as a rationally structured extract of reality, not reality itself.” –Mark0 Pogačnik, Sacred Geography, p.13.

Communication (Mercury) Conjoins Essence (the Sun), indicating Insight, while asteroids Trust (Eurydike) and Endings (Atropos) are Merged with (Conjoin) the Goddess (Moon), signifying that we’re in the process of Letting Go of Barriers to Trust.  The Full Moon itself is one diagonal axis of the Yin Gate, while the Nodal Axis is the other – meaning that the Paradoxes that we’re Learning to Accept As They Are (rather than trying to squeeze them into Duality) here are Fundamental to Life.

Action (Mars), Focus (Saturn), and Letting Go of Obstacles to Self-Sovereignty (Hylonome) Challenge (T-Square) the Full Moon.  Bottom Line, this Full Moon (apart from the Paradoxes) is about Trusting that if we take the Risk to Express our True Self, the Universe will make a Safe Space for us.

We can Expect major Epiphanies around Fear, Truth, and Self-Abandonment (Mjōlnirs to Sedna from the Moon-Hylonome Square, to Veritas from the Sun-Hylonome Square, and to Hynonome-Saturn-Mars from the Veritas-Sedna Square; a Mjōlnir is formed when a third planet sits at the Far Midpoint between the two ends of a Square, Trioctile to each).  When Fear arises, and when you don’t feel Grounded, remember your Tapping, Breathing, and Kegels.

The crux (central axis) of the Paradox Lesson is the Opposition between Abuse and Privilege (Nessus) and Breaking Oaths (Orcus)Under the Duress of Abuse, we made Pledges to ourself such as “I can Never talk about this or they’ll Kill Mom,” and “This is too Painful or Weird, I have to Numb myself to it in order to Survive,” and “I don’t know how or when, but someday I’ll get even for this,” and the like. 

The Pledges may have been Conscious, Semi-Conscious, or fully Unconscious (made without our Conscious Awareness).  Abuse can take many forms – sexual, physical, mental, emotional, neglect or Abandonment, overfocus or Suffocation, Shaming, and many other processes, including Adults Expecting to be Parented by their Children.

These Oaths present major Lose-Lose Dilemmas.  By definition we were on the Losing end of Privilege, which means we lacked a context and language to put the Abuse into any sort of Framework or Context.  No matter how Obsessively we tried, we were never able to figure out “What did I do to Deserve this?” 

So we never had a way to Explain it to ourself, let alone talk about it, even if we could do so without disastrous consequences.  That’s still True today.  You can Justify neither your Victim nor your Outrage, and those two Mysterious and Powerful parts of yourself are still Arguing vehemently with one another inside yourself.

The Paradox is that It-Was-What-It-Was and there’s nothing we can do to Change it other than (starting by) Accepting our Confusion for the True Emotion that Confusion is, without trying to make Sense of it. 

It might help us get grounded if we open a journal and write out both sides of the Argument, one of the left-hand page and the other on the right-hand page.  The “Reasons” for the Abuse we received were not from the Current Lifetime, which Limits our ability to Grok What Happened and Why.  Give the Effort to Understand over to the Goddess, every time you’re Tempted to Indulge it.

Poor-Sweetheart your Abused Self, your Confused Self, your Angry Self, and any other Folk who show up.  Then Listen to see if they have anything to say to you.  Healing won’t occur till you Learn to Embrace every one of your Inner Denizens with Unconditional Self-Love.  Consistently and Permanently.  See if you can move in this direction while using as few words as possible.

New Province VI-2b

January 7, 2018

Here’s an “I second the Yintegrity motion” from the Arcturians, channeled by Cherie Frances this time…

 https://roserambles.org/2018/01/04/the-arcturians-mother-earth-will-take-her-seat-amongst-the-galaxies-of-the-universe-jan-4-2018/

“Let us speak a little of what it takes to release the tension of the new beginnings upon your Earth realm.  Feel yourselves grow, change envelop the new tidings of love and joy – and heartfelt displeasure at what it was that took you so far to get here to this stage of love, joy and unity.  Feel yourselves expanding, growing and maturing evermore into the unfolding and refolding and back and forth, like the tides, into the ever more complex multidimensionality of your Selves and cells. 

“We are here to bring you the upmost of important of messages.  It is: Be who you are.  Not what others believe or expect of you.  You are who you are for a reason.  For the Earth realm.  Not for the Higher realms or any other realm.  You are on planet Earth, in and on the heart of Gaia for a reason.  Embrace it, acknowledge it, share it among yourselves. 

“There is so much escaping and expectation, and mourning and loss and it saddens us kinfolk among you to see you are not living up to your expectations of what it actually means to be on the Earth realm.  Changing, obscuring, desensitising and obfuscating the Truth for realities of unknown measure.  We understand it is difficult to live the realities of who you are, why so many cling to un-realities, driven by ego and greed… yet find within yourselves the measure of the ‘small’ person you are, the smallest most secret and hidden part of yourselves that have been closed up and hidden for fear of being trampled on and exposed. 

“Bring them out in full force.  Expose them for the greatness and beauty of all their honour.  This is the smallest most vulnerable, most magnificent part of your Selves that must expand in consciousness.  Stretch out and reach for the stars, planets and galaxies that long to realise the strength of your muster.  Earth will take its seat amongst the galaxies of the universe as one of its allies of strength and unity in the Federation of Light.”

Of course one of the first Yes-Butts about Yintegrity is, How do we Survive doing Yintegrity when the rest of the World is doing YangtegrityThe Yes-And is that we minimize our Commitments, Renegotiate often, and, when we don’t have an opportunity to Renegotiate and the Relationship is valuable, Make Amends.

A more consequential Yes-But is What if I have parts of myself that for very good reasons I don’t like?  And worse, parts of myself that I know very well others don’t like, because they’ve told me so, loud and clear?  Sure, we can “Prescribe” more Self-Love and more Self-Sovereignty, but really, how do you Respond to that? – “Easy for you to say?”  I mean, we’ve been working with that Energy all our Life, and have we found Resolution yet?

Now that our Forbidden Genii are pushing to the fore, we’ve got some real homework to do.

These Energies have three feet in the Unconscious – if they were Conscious we’d have Dismissed them long ago – and we don’t Change the Unconscious with Prescription.  We’ve spoken often about how to use the combination of PIAVAing, Poor-Sweethearting, and Tapping, iteratively to Liberate ourselves from Archetypes.  But what if, Nevertheless, They Persist?  And what if we don’t yet have enough Clear Consciousness about them to know how to proceed?

Let’s take an example.  This is the approximate birth chart of one of the long-time Perps of Abuse of Power, currently a “Victim” (not that they haven’t worked hard to earn this dubious distinction) of #MeToo…

We find a serious Challenge (T-Square) to Self-Love (Sappho) and to Ending their Resistance (Atropos) to same (the Houses aren’t accurate).  If you knew who this is, you’d see instantly how they’ve made a fortune by Acting Out that Challenge.  Though this may or may not have been a Conscious choice on their part, it’s an example of how Recovering our Forbidden Genius can pave our Yellow Brick Road.  That’s one way to put our Forbidden Genius to work – Act it Out in a way that seems like you’re making a parody of It. 

A parody of It in others of course – few of us have a Forbidden Genius that’s so unique that others won’t understand our Pain, and appreciate the opportunity to make Light of it.  That’s likely to feel very Vulnerable – of course your audience will think you’re talking about yourself, which will likely Retrigger the Shame that drove your Genius underground in the first place.  Our “Native” (that’s what astrologers call the person whose chart they’re reading – the one with the “Nativity”) may have been able to pull this off because of Intuitive Memories of Trust (Asbolus Opposite Mnemosyne-Aletheia in the base of the Sappho-Asbolus T-Square).

So we have a Perp who’s been Abusing Power.  So where is their Nessus, the dwarf planet that we associate with Abuse and Privilege?  Okay, it’s seriously Challenged by (T-Square to) Compulsion (Pluto) and Action (Mars).  Anybody with a Nessus-Mars-Pluto T-Square has dialed up a very serious Karmic Lifetime.  Most folks with this Configuration, if they haven’t gotten very Conscious and very Practiced with this Energy, are probably in prison.  If this is your Forbidden Genius, prison counselors aren’t very well paid, but there’s a huge and lucrative market for Hollywood crime scriptwriters.  

Ah, the T-Square is Completed, by Venus, making a Grand Cross.  A Grand Cross is more Balanced than a T-Square alone (even though a Grand Cross is composed of four T-Squares), probably making our Native less Out of Control.  And Venus would soften the whole Energy – though worse case it could make for an Unconscious person who Values (Venus) Active Compulsive Abuse of Power.  So far we have a person who might do well as a Detective, since they’d know quite well what Motivates many scofflaws.

And, our Perp’s Nessus is at the focus of a Pay-Attention (Finger of God – the green wedge).  That will raise the probability that our Native gets Conscious of their Compulsions.  And if they don’t get Conscious, it’ll raise the probability that Trouble will find them, and it’ll Escalate its prodding until they do figure it out.

Ah again – look at all those blue lines!  Those represent Blessings.  The big blue triangle is a Grand Trine, symbolizing Dumb-Luck Grace, the kind of Luck that can make us Arrogant till we figure out that everyone has a Unique Skill.  It’s in the Earth Signs, so our Native will be very Grounded, and that includes Mars, so they’re likely to be less reckless in their Actions than they otherwise might be. 

And there’s more – the shorter blue lines trace out five sides of a hexagram or Grand Sextile.  A Grand Sextile makes the results of their Actions likely to be successful, but theirs is one corner (labeled with a “V” in a circle, for “Vacancy”) short of Complete, so they’ll need to contribute that Energy Consciously to make their Endeavors work out.  That corner is occupied by a Star, however – Markeb, signifying Steadiness in the course of Movement – and Good Fortune followed by Disgrace.  But, as it’s in a Grand Sextile, the Disgrace may not be as complete as it has been with some #MeToo Perps.

I made a quick check on five other #MeToo Perps relative to their natal Nessus, and found…

Nessus-Lilith Square Mars-Pluto Square Jupiter Square Chiron
Nessus Square Pluto
Pluto T-Square on Nessus Opposite Mars
Nessus-Jupiter Square Pluto
Nessus Opposite Jupiter

So, what’s our point?  When our Development of a particular Skill is Frozen st some age, our Psychological Age with that Skill remains the same as it was at the time the Skill was Frozen.  In addition, when the Issue arises, we Regress to that Age, and lose track of ALL of the Skills we’ve Learned since.  In a Culture that’s very screwed up about Power and Sex, when either or both are Strong in a chart they’re likely to be driven underground, producing many adults whose relationship to Power and Sex remains Infantile or Adolescent, and who lose most of their Adult Skills when Issues of Power or Sex arise.

Power and Sex are additionally complicated in some cases by Genetic and Socially Conditioned Patterns that differ from the Cultural Norms.  There may be Unconscious Archetypes or Conscious Strategies operating that are perfectly Healthy in some Cultures, just not in the Culture that the person happens to be operating in. 

For instance, in some Cultures and Species it’s appropriate for Survival that the alpha males do most of the mating – and in practice that’s often what happens in Human society.  The rest of the males shift to the Yin Masculine as Genia Haddon calls it, as the equivalent of “Worker Bees.”  When an alpha male is a Bully, or when a beta or omega male has a high Sex drive and low Consciousness, problems arise.  The #MeToo Perps fall mostly in the latter category.

What’s True about Power and Sex will also be True about any other aspect of our Forbidden Genius, whatever Skill that involves.

So, what do we do about this?  Well, of course the first thing we need to do is get Conscious of what’s Frozen.  Since we Regress when it comes up, we’re very likely to be Frightened by it; it’s as Overwhelming now as it was then, because we are then.  It’s also almost always Karmic, so we’re also Regressed to “Previous” Lives where the Issue was unresolved, so it’s probably Traumatic, and may well have led to our Death in those Lifetimes.  So there are Strong barriers to a straightforward Recovery. 

We need to start with any kernel we can get hold of – which is probably easy, since it’s likely to be something about what we’ve always Craved but have never given ourselves Permission to Receive.  Which may look like something we’ve been trying hard to Achieve all our Life but never successfully.  Nevertheless, we Persisted.  We never had a choice.

Bessel van der Kolk’s Experience and Research (The Body Keeps the Score) shows that one of the most reliable ways to overcome PTSD is Theater.  We don’t need to move to Hollywood or get involved with our local theater group; all we need is a Trusted Collaborator or two.  We let our Creativity loose and Dance around the kernel we have.  This may or may not shake loose the Held Emotions so we can endeavor to Heal them, but it will give us practice.  Our primary need is to advance the age of our Frozen Skillset, and we do that the same way we would have done it at the age of its Freezing – we practice.

Once we are able to put and keep our Current-Moment Adult and our Regressed Child in the same room at the same time, the many additional Skillsets that our Adult can contribute will be a tremendous aid to advancing our Frozen Skillset beyond the age of the Regressed Child.

Portal 17.12 and Abuse

December 14, 2016

Remembering that our Purpose here (and probably the only thing we can do) in this Time-Space is to Let Go of our Held Emotions – our historical Pain – so it no longer Creates Self-Sabotage as we try to Manifest a Life we Love on a Planet infused with Love and Support and Community and Collaboration and Praise, we’re entering several days where what’s in our face is Abuse.  If this has already been going on for you, no surprise, as we’ve actually been doing this since early 2015.

Let’s start with some definition.  Whenever someone speaks to you using “You-Statements” and they aren’t praising your Brilliance, Gorgeousness, Talent, and Fabulosity, that’s Abuse.  Obviously, there are much more blatant and serious forms of Abuse, mostly having to do with Power-Over.  A significant tell is that it Hurts you, but that’s not always obvious.  The other side of the Abuse Coin is Privilege – the other person Believes they have the right to Abuse you, possibly even “for your own good” – Power-Over.  If you grant them the Privilege to Power-Over you, then Hurt may not be as Clear.  Teasing is a good example – Teasing is Abuse where the rules of the game are that you’re supposed to play along with the Abuse.

Now, on a Free-Will Planet such as ours, no one can actually ever Hurt you; it’s a Choice you make, to indulge your Hurt Feelings.  And virtually every time you are Hurt, the other person’s Remarks or Actions are actually Triggers for your own Held Emotions.  That’s actually a good thing, because the only thing we have the Power to Change is Ourself.  We can’t Change the Perp, nor would we Want to, because that would be Powering-Over their Choices.  We definitely want to drastically Change the circumstances of our Relationship with them, but all of the Levers and Dials for that process are within Ourself.

That does NOT mean that the Abused is to Blame or Responsible for Past Abuse that has happened TO them.  Remember that Blame looks to the Past to assign Who Did What, while Responsibility looks to the Future to assure that Nobody Does That Kind of Thing to Us Again.  Blame will Manifest only more Abuse.  Anger is something else; in our Anger at being Abused we will, Hopefully, go through a phase where we are Blaming our Abusers.  I say Hopefully because we don’t want to Blame ourself instead.  Let’s unwrap that.

I am Angry at the person who Abused me.  I’m also Angry at myself for Letting it happen again.  We have to do two things with this Anger.  First, it’s the fuel for setting up a Protection from our Abuser.  It doesn’t matter whether they’re to Blame as the Perp, or if they innocently stepped on our sore toe.  We need to Protect ourself from them.  Later we can reconsider whether or not we have Forgiven them.  For now, Safety First.  Only when we’re Safe can we look at ourself to see how we can convert that Anger at ourself into Self-Care.

Forgiveness isn’t a Decision, it’s a Discovery.  We can Actively Intend to Forgive someone, but Forgiveness doesn’t actually happen until it does, in its own Time.   First we set Effective Boundaries against the alleged Perp, then, once we’re Safe, we Explore our own part in the Drama.  Abuse is a Dance, and it takes two (at least).  We talked a little about all this before, at https://astrobuss.wordpress.com/2016/10/17/power-under/ , the last time we encountered this 17.12 Energy.  “You poor Sweetheart, you’re really Feeling Hurt and Abused here, aren’t you” would be a good place to start.  That would put you in Compassion toward yourself.  Compassion toward your Abuser comes much later, if it comes at all.

This is really a Test of your Skill at Discerning Blame from Responsbility.  If you have to start with “You poor Sweetheart, you’re Blaming yourself here, aren’t you” that’s fine; just do whatever you need to do to avoid Self-Blame.  There is no exit from Self-Blame.  Stepping out of that dead-end is the first task, and you may just need to PIAVA it.  Blame in general is a sealed Universe, and it’s very difficult to see out of it.  We could go on at length, but I hope this gives you enough clues to take your next step; let me know if you feel stuck or have questions; I’ll do my best to find time to Respond.  I’ll treat all comments on this Confidentially.

For now, the Bottom Line is that We’re Finished With This Abuse Energy.  Yes, it will be in our face until 17 December, but this is the Confidence-Builder phase of this astroevent.  When we first encounter an astroEnergy, especially if it’s one we don’t encounter often (or ever in the current Lifetime), we’re caught off guard and it opens a Can of Worms, or often, of Snakes.  We call that first event a Can-Opener.  Many astroevents recur several times; we refer to the intermediate events as Expositions, because each one Exposes more about our Reaction to the Can-Opener.  By the time we get to the last event of the series, provided our Objective has been to Expand our Consciousness, we’re fully trained, and the last recurrence is in fact a Confidence-Builder.

This astroevent is the Initiation of Nessus (Abuse and Privilege) by OR10 (Irruption of Unconscious Contents).  The Initiation itself took place in May 2015, at 4 Pisces, “Heavy traffic on a narrow spit linking two seaside resorts.”  The image is full of Emotional Loading (Seaside), Karmic history (heavy traffic), doorways (narrow spit), Either/Or Duality (two) and the ultimate promise of being able to Let Down our Guard Safely (resorts).  The Expositions were June 2015, January 2016, and September 2016).

The current Confidence-Builder occurs at 3 Pisces, “Petrified tree trunks like broken on desert sand” – our Abuse Archetypes have been broken and left to ossify.

Nessus-OR10 is at the focus of a Finger of God from Vesta (Archetypes) and Makemake (Manifestation) – If we want to Manifest Free of Self-Sabotage, we have to Pay Attention to Abuse and Privilege.  Vesta is also the focus of a Quintile Yod from the Sun and Neptune – We’re Learning here about our Karmic Unconscious Limiting Beliefs.

It also Trine-Bridges (Provides an Easy Path to Mastery) a Makemake T-Square across the Opposition between Hylonome (Letting Go of Archetypes) and Atropos (Endings) – that sounds pretty self-explanatory!

And it makes a Trioctile Bridge (Epiphany) to a Pluto (Trance Re-Formation) T-Square on the Jupiter-Mnemosyne (Memories up in our Face) Opposition – also pretty self-explanatory!  For emphasis, and to assure that we Understand what’s going on, Mercury (mentality) is Stationary (Strong) on Pluto.

While this is happening, between the Ides of December and the Solstice, the Sun is being Initiated by the Ixion-Pholus-Quaoar-Galactic Center Stellium, which we’ll talk about separately, as it gives us a whole new Perspective on Responsibility.

Varuna (the Life Force) also just re-entered Cancer (Nurturance) after dipping His toe into the Leo (Confidence) Ocean between mid-September and mid-December.   It returns to Leo next July for another dip, but doesn’t enter Leo for good till June 2018.

We’ll come back to these Trauma-Dramas just before Christmas, but when they hit then, rest assured it’ll be only a glancing blow meant to demonstrate how good your new Armor is.  We’ll also get some excellent training in Setting Boundaries against Abuse 5-9 January.

Nessus and OR10 both Initiate Mars on 23 December, in the Broken Trees Degree, and Initiate Pallas 6-9 January.  Pallas-OR10 occurs in the Broken Trees Degree, while Pallas-Nessus occurs in the Heavy Traffic Degree.