Archive for the ‘Vesta’ Category

Portal 1.5 III

May 6, 2018

As we mentioned in the previous post, “There are other Changes going on as well” – that is, other Initiations or Conjunctions or Changes of the Nature of the Field or Trance that we’re Embedded in.  I missed one in that post…

  • Revelation of what’s been Denied Initiating Ego Death (Eris Initiating Nemesis)

until Marilyn Raffaele reminded me…

http://www.onenessofall.com/newest.html

Choosing to to remain locked in some particular belief system in order to please others or simply ‘keep the peace’ is a surrendering of personal power. This does not mean that you abandon family and friends unless it becomes necessary which it sometimes does.  It simply means that you stay centered in truth and alert to the temptation to align with any beliefs the group may hold but that you no longer resonate with.   Life becomes  being ‘In the world, but not of it’.”

Though Marilyn’s Channeling would also fit perfectly well with…

  • The Most Important Thing Initiating Letting Go of Codependence (Saturn Initiating Hylonome)

And with the fact that by now we’re deep into the Energy of the first Station of May, the 8 May Station of asteroid Vesta (1 am PDT at 5 Capricorn), which herself symbolizes Beliefs.  Unconscious Beliefs have a particularly strong hold on us because when we don’t Discern their existence, we never Reconsider them.  When they start to become Conscious and we begin to Question whether they Serve us or the Planet, it can be particularly disruptive, often even Blasphemously, to Relationships based on Mutual Belief.

So many of our Beliefs are Installed by our Programmers, using Repetition, “Logic” (such as “You wouldn’t want someone else to do that to you, would you?”), Story (Snidely: “Did you hear what Soandso did to Whozit?”), and particularly Shaming and other forms of Abuse.  Shame is one of the hardest Belief Traps to Escape from, because it’s a Feeling so Distasteful that we never want to do the Work Exploring it.  Abandonment can be as Difficult, as it can create a Blank Spot in our Awareness.

Many others of our Beliefs are Karmic and Enforced by other Held Emotions, Emotions that are equally Distasteful as Shame to us personally, Emotions that we’d “rather Die” than Experience again.  To break free of these we need on some level, Voluntarily or otherwise, to endure the Ego Death (Nemesis) that breaking out of our cage often requires.

Another of the “other Changes going on as well”…

  • Fear Initiating Fate, or Embracing Fear as Power Initiating Choice, depending on whether the Universe is Perp or Partner to you (Sedna and Moira)

is also well covered in Marilyn’s Channeling…

Words and actions that flow from an evolved state of consciousness are capable of triggering a new state of awareness for those seriously seeking a higher way for themselves and the world.  Many are on the verge of awakening at this time and those satisfied with the status quo are becoming a minority.  Some who have always lived in fear are now reclaiming the power they ignorantly gave away and feeling comfortable instead of fearful doing it.  You are on the verge of much change in spite of appearances but you must be patient and allow the process.

“We wish to speak to the idea of security which in the third dimension primarily revolves around vulnerability and separation, concepts designed to keep the majority locked in fear.  The only real security there ever is or will be is already fully present within you.  Safety and security is the automatic manifestation of the conscious realization that there is nothing you need to protect yourself against.  This is your protective work, not the hundreds of material concepts believed necessary for personal survival.
 
“The third dimensional belief system holds that there are millions of people, places, and things you need protection from–diseases, bad people, dangerous places and anything deemed dangerous by those in authority.  If there is only ONE, who or what can there be that you need protection from?”

Genius, Forbidden, I

March 27, 2018

Well, for some reason the new version of iPhoto (nee “Photos” I guess) will only show me thumbnails of my photos, so if anyone actually tries to read these charts, it may be challenging.  I’ll try to remedy this, but it may take a while.  In the interim, here’s the local chart for todays Station of Ixion…

The close coincidence in Time supersedes the small Separation in Zodiacal Space, so we’re really looking at one chart for all three Stations, but this one merits its own sub-chart.  It’s an interesting conglomeration of several not-very-momentous Configurations.  The off-center Diamond (the Grand Trine, Finger of God, and Tricolor all converging on Ixion-Vesta) is the most comprehensive, but the Square Fez (the Trapezoid) is also telling.

The first thing we have to notice is Forbidden Genius’s (Ixion’s) Conjunction with Unconscious Beliefs (asteroid Vesta).  Vesta stands for What-We-Assume-Is-Just-The-Way-It-Is, Beliefs that we don’t ever Question.  Yes, certainly, It-Is-What-It-Is, but that doesn’t mean we grok What-It-Is. 

For instance, suppose we never Question the reasonable proposition that Huperity is simply Cruel by nature, or that, as Mutual of Omaha’s Marlin Perkins programmed us to Believe back in black-and-white days, that Nature is simply Cruel by nature.  There’s no room in that Belief for 5D.  If we hold that Belief Unconsciously, which was certainly Mutual of Omaha’s Intention, then we’ll Sabotage ourself every time we move toward Sympathy and Understanding, Harmony and Trust Abounding.

Of course, our Forbidden Genius is already an Outcast, so it’s no Accident that our Abandonment plugs right into our Self-Sabotaging Beliefs.  After all, if it’s True, which it obviously was, that our Unique Genius was Forbidden, then of course the World was Cruel, or at least, those who we were told Loved us were. 

So we need to examine every Negative Emotion and Critical Urge.  What are the Unconscious Beliefs that support these?  For instance, I was asked to review a newsletter today, which, on several of its objectives, it failed miserably.  I was honest in my review, and I fully expect to be Judged heavily for that. 

If Broad Perspective is part of my Unique Genius, and I’m accustomed to dealing with People whose Ego feels Attacked when their Limited Perspective is challenged whenever my tongue is less than Golden (or even when it is), I’ll find few Mirrors for Self-Love.  Actually, I Expect People to feel Ego-Attacked whenever I Speak my Truth, so I don’t really know how they React or Respond.

How do I Open the door on those Self-Sabotaging Unconscious Beliefs, so I can bring them Into the Light and Love them to Death?  Well, without even noticing yet that the Ixion Station and its sidekick Vesta Square Minister of Despair Chiron, Poor Sweethearts come to mind.  The Little Voice over my Shoulder Lectures me Angrily for taking so long to make the Connection.  I guess I start by Making Amends to my Deeper Self.

Chiron of course symbolizes just this – the places where our Unconscious Beliefs leave us in Despair because there are no good outcomes.  If we can manage to Shift our Perspective from this Box Canyon to a nearby Ridge or Hilltop, our Options are likely to improve, possibly Miraculously so.  By Poor-Sweethearting ourself, we shift from Hopelessness to Self-Compassion, a path which usually leads upward toward Vision.

“You Poor Sweetheart, you really Expect to be Rejected for Being Your True Self, don’t you.”  At that my Inner Lecturer goes silent and hangs her head.  “We both” do. 

“You Poor Sweetheart, we’ve Learned a lot of Self-Hate, haven’t we.”  I Tap Out “Even though I’ve been programmed to hate myself, I deeply and completely Love and Accept Myself,” but I still Feel Numb, other than the Urge to Eat.  “You Poor Sweetheart, you Feel Numb, don’t you.”  There’s a subtle stirring in my Belly, and after a few Kegels to amplify it, a Spontaneous Vision of my skin like an Elephant’s hide.

“You Poor Sweetheart, you’re on the Edge of the Held Emotion that you Repress with Food, aren’t you.”  As the Urge to Eat gets stronger.  “Ganeshi My Love, please Remove All Obstacles to my Lovingly and Gently Opening to this Emotion.”  Now I See/Feel an Opening, along with some Fear.  “God/Goddess, Creator of All That Is, I Command Loving and Gentle Liberation from this Limitation…”

The Stone is a Manganotantalite Crystal, Manganese Tantalum Oxide (MnTaO), which facilitates Speaking so Others Can Receive Your Message with Neutrality.  It turns out that MnTaO makes powerful Capacitors, which are like Batteries but more Powerful.  Without MnTaO Capacitors, cellphones would not be possible.  The Connection between the MnTaO Energy in your phone and modern Communication is intriguing.

Purgative New Moon

May 23, 2017

One of my favorite Crystals, Scheelite, spawn of Calcium and Tungsten…

Tungsten is heavy, ~85% as heavy as Lead, and this Stone has heft to it.  From Collen Marquist (p.133), “ability to infiltrate a lie or obfuscation… to determine if someone is dishonest with you, and to delve into personal issues of denial and falsehood… brave like a scout and will provide courage to those who are intimidated by a falsehood… activates the third and second chakras to empower the gut to not only sense danger, but to do something about it.”

Which is the Main Effect of the 25 May (1pm PDT in 5 Gemini) New Moon.  An excellent way to approach it would be to ask yourself, “What is my Nemesis?” or “What am I most frightened of?”  There’s a good chance that some of these issues may be up in your Life this week anyway.  Fear of Loss, Fear of Change, Fear of Risk, Fear of Failure, Fear of Self.  Your “Higher Self” does know exactly what it’s doing.  But do we Trust it?  Doubt is one thing we might be able to Clear Away this week, if we’re Honest with ourself about what we Fear and what Limits us.

The two Archetypes most emphasized at this New Moon (which means they’ll be Lit Up for several weeks thereafter) are Nemesis and Vesta. 

Nemesis Punishes Hubris.  Hubris needs two components – Self-Confidence, and Illusion; we’re Confident that we can Live a Lie (whether we know it’s a Lie or not).  It’s kind of the inverse of “Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway.”  We’ve been told all our Life (and many before that) that we have to be this and do that or we won’t Survive.  In our Obedient phases, we tried, and if being and doing this or that wasn’t compatible with our Soul or our Mission, of course we Doubted ourself, and probably developed the Habit of Doubting ourself.  In our Rebellious phases, we may have been or done things that our Obedient Self still Regrets or Feels Guilty about, and we may have developed those Habits too.

Since acculturation is pretty much one-size-fits-all (and if you were that “size” you wouldn’t be reading this) we spend much of our time adrift in this Doubt, Regret, Guilt, and Fear – likely with Anxiety for frosting.  And that won’t Change until we develop the Habit of Noticing that we’re Feeling Doubt, Regret, Guilt, Fear, Anxiety, or All of the Above, and then Acting to Shift it.  Dr. Kim suggests that Breathing is very useful when we Notice these things, and I agree.  Personally, what I find effective, is Poor-Sweethearting, but you knew that…

  • “You Poor Sweetheart, You’re Feeling Doubt, aren’t you.”
  • “You Poor Sweetheart, You’re Feeling Regret, aren’t you.”
  • “You Poor Sweetheart, You’re Feeling Guilt, aren’t you.”
  • “You Poor Sweetheart, You’re Feeling Scared, aren’t you.”
  • “You Poor Sweetheart, You’re Feeling Anxious, aren’t you.”

Tapping (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QzVd6Ww0as4) can also help Ground a heavy dose of Emotions – when you’re Shaking Inside, for instance. 

Vesta – Hestia in Greece – was Goddess of the Hearth: Food, Family, Friends, winter Warmth, Mom, Nature and Nurture both.  The Greeks toasted Hestia before they toasted Zeus, and they toasted Hestia after they toasted Zeus.  Yes, Celebrate the Big Honcho, but better keep your Real Bets hedged while you’re at it.  The Romans thought that this was such a good idea that they made Vesta the Goddess of the State.

So in the Western Psyche, Vesta represents the Centerpoint of our Survival.  Being Separated from Vesta is like being Banished from our Tribe; we’re back to eating Bugs and Leaves (and in the winter sucking Bark), struggling to keep warm and dry, and in grave danger of becoming someone else’s lunch. 

While Nemesis symbolizes Judgment of our Nonconformity, Vesta stands for what we (would) gain by Conforming, aka what we Fear of Losing if we drop the Lies.  Since most of our acculturation was lavished upon us before we “knew better” than to be Discerning, much of it is (purposely) Unconscious.  And since these things are so closely associated with Survival and Fear, we develop big Ego Attachments to the “rules” which we most Fear, that will keep us from getting Banished.

So we interpret Nemesis as Ego Death (if you do that it – or they – will kill you!), and Vesta as our Unconscious Beliefs, particularly our Unconscious Limiting Beliefs.  This week is primarily about the Paradoxical Relationships between Unconscious Beliefs and Ego Death.  To Let Go of our Self-Sabotaging Limiting Beliefs (such as We Can’t Have What We Want, Money Doesn’t Grow on Trees, Good Girls Don’t Do That, etc, etc) usually requires an Ego Death.  So far that doesn’t seem so Paradoxical.  So watch for things that don’t make sense this week – those will be the clues that lead us to What We Need to Let Go Of.

The New Moon is T-Square (Mastery through Challenge) to the Opposition between Orcus (Oaths and Vows) and asteroid Karma (Habits) on the left, and Nessus (Abuse) and 2007 OR10 (Unbidden Memories) on the right.  That Opposition is one of two in a Golden Rectangle (the blue box); the other is between Veritas (Truth) and Hylonome (Prying Ourselves Free from an Archetype).  Splitting the Golden Rectangle is the Vesta-Nemesis Opposition Yin Gate

All this happens between 4 and 8 Degrees; the Yin Gate in the Fixed Signs, the Golden Rectangle in the Magnetic Signs, and the T-Square in the Mutable Signs – but it’ll pretty much Light Up anything you have in 4-8 Degrees of any Sign.  Whatever planets and Angles you have in that zone will likely provide clues to which Archetypes you may be blowing away this week.  In 4-8 Degrees of any Sign we’re basically Letting Go of our Original Plan for whatever it is we’re Creating.  Not Letting Go of what we’re Creating, but Letting Go of preconceptions about it, so we can Let It Flow of its own accord, without our pushing and shoving it into molds in doesn’t fit well in, while Learning to Trust.

Kind of like this…

http://danielscranton.com/the-gentle-nudgings-%e2%88%9ethe-9th-dimensional-arcturian-council/

Asteroids

October 16, 2016

A Question from a regular reader…

“How do we read an asteroid conjunct one of our planets?  Eg I have a Transiting asteroid conjunct my natal Sun and Mars.  Does this mean its influence is particularly strong now, as it is tied to my core self and drive?  Should we look out for asteroid returns like we do for planets?

Yes, absolutely.  I’d use every “Transit” (when a planet in the Sky now interacts with a planet in our natal chart) by and to asteroids as Opportunities to get more Conscious about the Energies represented by the asteroids.  And an asteroid Return (when the ‘roid returns to the Degree where it was in our natal chart) is an even greater Opportunity.

None of the pychological, social, and ecological principles behind the four most commonly-used (and earliest-discovered) asteroids are taught to us in grade school…

  • Vesta – Unconscious Beliefs
  • Juno – the Edge of Consciousness
  • Pallas – Boundaries
  • Ceres – Sustainability and Sustenance

But all four are critical to our joie de vivre.  If we learned anything about the Unconscious in school it was probably about the Freudian Subconscious, the dank dungeon where we stuff our Shame, rather than the Jungian Unconscious, the potentially-daylight basement from whence our Motivations and Behavioral Controls (many of which Limit us) arise.  

Boundaries are fundamental for any Relationship, but who teaches them?  

And we’re not programmed to strive for Sustainability and Balance, but to Crave More so we can keep the Great Capitalist Treadmill running at maximum speed, scooping the results of your Life and the crumbling remains of your Planet into the great offshore Corporate treasury – and increasing GDP.  The faster the Treadmill uses you up and destroys the Planet, the greater is GDP.  And your “democratically elected” government’s primary measure of success is to increase GDP.  

Is that what democracy and “Freedom” means to you?  Are you Manifesting this Intentionally?  Maybe we should talk less about Programming and Archetypes, and more about Propaganda.  If maximizing GDP isn’t your freely-Chosen personal Intention, maybe we should focus on bringing Propaganda into Consciousness.  Our budding Nemesis-Juno Yin Gate would be a good starting point.

So, since we’re talking about Learning things that are primarily Unconscious, how do we go about this?  We use PIAVA.  Accessing the Unconscious is what PIAVA does  for a living.  

  • “I Wonder what this Vesta Transit over my Mars will Teach me about how well my Physical Energy serves my Conscious Goals.”  
  • “Great Spirit, please Lovingly and Gently show me how this Pallas Transit over my natal Ceres will Teach me to use Boundaries to more Sustainably maintain my own Safe Space.”  
  • “I Affirm that I will become Conscious of everything that this upcoming Juno Return is Teaching me.”  
  • “God/Goddess, Creator of All That Is, I Command that this Sun-Vesta Transit synchronize my Conscious Goals and my Unconscious Desires, and Lovingly and Rapidly Resolve any apparent Conflicts between them.  It Is So, It Is So, It Is So.  Thank you, God/Goddess.”

We could say the same for the other asteroids that we follow whenever they’re particularly Lit Up by the other planets…

  • Nemesis – our Ego’s “Achilles Heel”
  • Sappho – Self-Love
  • Karma – our Inertial Habits, Patterns, and the Archetypes that we Grasp
  • Hopi – Respect for All Things
  • Veritas and Aletheia – Truth
  • Mnemosyne – Memories

If you keep track of your own natal chart and want to follow any of these fellows, you can use…

http://www.true-node.com/eph1/?inputNumber=sappho&day=1&month=2&year=1983&time=00%3A00%3A00&zone=GMT+0&interval_num=1&interval=day&lines=31&calendar=Gregorian&zodiac=Tropical&origin=Geocentric&lighttime=Apparent&clock=Universal+Time&zodsec=D%B0M&longitude=on&.submit=Get+Ephemeris

to locate them.  Like most ephemerides, you’ll get their location at 12am (or “00:00 hour”) UT or GMT, ie, London time.  The asteroids between Mars and Jupiter average about one fourth of one Degree per day, so you don’t need to worry too much about adjusting for local time of day, unless you want to know their Sabian Symbols.  If anyone wants me to coach them on finding exact asteroid locations at local times, let me know.

Charles Hervé-Gruyer tells us…

“I had until then seen our world as the great river: terribly powerful.  And I often found myself swept up against my will by the current, unable to resist.  Modernity takes us along without asking our opinion, and no one really knows where we’re going.  Yet this world that is so incredibly powerful generates countercurrents: if I learned to identify them, I realized, I would not have to struggle, to exhaust myself in a losing battle.  By positioning myself in my proper place, I would be able to carve out a path aligned with my heart and my dreams.

“The defining trait of the modern Western world is hypertechnicity, a pursuit of material progress.  Despite undeniable advances in countless areas, this form of progress, as it has been developed to date, provokes a rapid and massive destruction of the biosphere.  We continue to artificialize nature, replacing life with technology.  It is the dominant current – strong, rapid, and terrifying.

“But the countercurrents exist, everywhere: lively little veins of water that bring us hope.  All around the world, millions of people of goodwill are striving with all their force to invent lifestyles that are respectful of people and the planet.”  —Miraculous Abundance: One Quarter Acre, Two French Farmers, and Enough Food to Feed the World, p.9.

 

Insight Forest II

September 25, 2016

We’ll pick up where we left off at the end of Insight Forest I…

(4) What happens when our Unconscious Limiting Beliefs get blown away, and how can we prepare for that?  

Rhetoric is the Language style we use when we assume that whomever we’re talking to has the same Unconscious Beliefs as we do.  I use it a lot, so does Trump.  It’s the Language we use when we’re talking to our Tribe, and it saves us a lot of words.  One of its effect is to make someone from a rival Tribe either Angry or Intimidated.  Since Anger is a Sin in polite society, that ends up being the same as Intimidated.  Problem is, part of the Essence of our Changes is the Insight that we’re All One Tribe.

While some of us may be somewhat Conscious of the basis for our Rhetoric, much of it based on our Unconscious Beliefs, and the Unconscious Belief that someone with different Unconscious Beliefs is Corrupt, Ignorant, Degenerate, Deplorable, or all of the above.  Even if they are all that, our Attitude toward them would be different if they were part of our own Tribe.  We would probably be inspired to educate them – which of course would be received as insulting and condescending, just as we’re insulted when they try to “educate” or brainwash us.

So one of the impacts of Changes in our Unconscious Beliefs, is that we may begin to doubt our own Rhetoric, which could be a serious blow to our Identity.  Most of us to one degree or another Ego-Identify with our Tribe.  We could also just find ourselves more Disturbed than usual by Rhetoric, ours or theirs.  Eventually we’ll have to work out ways to tolerate different Unconscious Beliefs, and communicate Honestly with folks whose Unconscious Beliefs are all screwed up.

At the very least we could Learn to become Conscious of how the Lizards (Rhetoric Alert) use Rhetoric to Manipulate us.  If you have the misfortune of watching the US Unpresidential Debates on 26 September, you’ll get a good Teaching on Rhetoric, and how your Attitude towards it is Changing.  Basically, any Insecurity you Feel could well be linked to Changes in your Unconscious Beliefs and your Unconscious Identity.  Any Discomfort you encounter, it would behoove to Wonder if it might be related to Changes in your Unconscious Beliefs.  You might discover a gap between yourself and old friends or family.

There are three major corollaries to the Collapse of our Unconscious Beliefs, and to our resulting Insecurity.  The first is the impending collapse of our Cultures and Economies (the Waning Saturn-Neptune Square).  The second is the need to Review Who We Believe We Are and Why We Do What We Do, and whether the latter serves the former (Saturn Square to the Nodes).  The third is the Potential or Actual Disruption in our Lives resulting from the Loss of our Masks (Haumea Opposite Uranus-Eris).  Are we indulging Business As Usual and pretending that these Changes may not impact us, or waiting till the last minute to prepare for them?

In the US, September is “Emergency Preparedness Month.”  Are we prepared to see our Cultural, Egoic, and Habitual Foundations disrupted, without resorting to gang violence?

Through the Veil – Huge Reboot 8

September 16, 2016

Here’s a fascinating blog…

https://paulsylvia.wordpress.com/about/ 

that I came across because, as a result of SoulSpeak’s reblog (Grazi!), Paul and Sylvia quoted parts of Huge Reboot 7 (again, Grazi!) in it.

The Loss of the Veil was predicted by Neptune’s Initiation of the Moon’s South Node in the birth chart for the current Century.  The Moon’s South Node is the place where its orbit crosses below the plane of the Earth’s orbit around the Sun.  It’s not darker down there, but it’s closer to the Ancestors, and so provides a broader Perspective.  It’s sort of as if the Moon turns Retrograde when it crosses its South Node.

The common interpretation of the South Node is that it’s where our Karma resides.  We of course see Karma as our collection of Habit Patterns.  Habits are great – what a pickle we’d be in if we had to remember to Breathe every few seconds!  The downside of Habits is that they easily fade into the Unconscious (switch frequently from manual to automatic transmission to see what I mean), which is good because we don’t have to make every Decision, but can disrupt our Lives because we can be driving on autopilot and not see the oncoming.

And we can be sucked into what are called Archetypes – huge extra-Individual Energy Patterns that have a Life of their own can take over an Ego and cause it to Act Out the Purposes of the Archetypal “Entity” rather than the Purposes of the Individual.  Self-Sabotage results.  Nationalism and Racism are great examples, as is Pleasing.  Archetypes are often anchored by Regional Geology.  They aren’t Evil, but they can have untoward effects if not managed properly.  A particularly troublesome Archetype at the moment is Greed.

The South Node also harbors the Hidden Skills that we need in order to Achieve the Mission we have set for the Lifetime, which hides in the North Node.  Our Mission is hidden behind our Deepest Desire – hidden because we usually feel some sort of Guilt or Shame about our Deepest Desire.  Our Deepest Desire isn’t the same as our Mission – it’s a roadmap that will lead us to our Mission, if we trust it enough to follow it.

In the South Node, our Crucial Skills are hidden behind “Held Emotions” – Emotions that we don’t allow ourself to Feel without Guilt or Shame.  Held Emotions also block our Intuition because they cloud our view across the Veil.  

The example I often use is, suppose we have a “Past” Life as a Warrior.  Well, of course that Life is likely to end brutally, that’s what Warriors do.  So if we ended up renouncing our Warriorship in Pain, making a Vow to Fight No More Forever, then that Oath will become a Limiting Belief in Lifetimes that follow.

Your natal Orcus, and its Angular Relationship to your natal South Node, will provide information about the Limiting Beliefs that hold you back from your Mission.  The asteroid Vesta is also a symbol for our Unconscious Beliefs.

Neptune represents our Relationship with all realms larger than ourself, including our Cultures, our Godheads and Goddesshearts, even our Archetypes.  Neptune symbolizes Confusion on the Material level, because when it’s Lit Up our Neptunian Relationships Change, and if they’re Foundational to our Ego, we’re in trouble.  As we often say, Confusion is the first stage of Growth, if we can manage to avoid circumventing it with mental autoeroticism.  

Neptune also symbolizes Clarity on the Spiritual level, because the Spiritual level is all about our Relationship to realms larger than ourself.  Neptune becomes Clarity when we put our Ego in its proper place relative to its Betters.  It should be obvious that whatever is Unconscious – Archetypes, for instance – will interfere with that.  Which is precisely why Confusion is the first stage of Growth – the Edges of our Consciousness are Expanding.

We think of the asteroid Juno as symbolizing the Edges of our Consciousness, because Juno is all about Merging.  The asteroid Pallas is her complement, as Pallas is all about Boundaries.  The asteroid Ceres, symbolizing Sustainability, is the “Coin” that subsumes the two.

So when Neptune Initiates the South Node, an Ego that’s unwilling to Grow is in big trouble.  We’ve talked frequently about Ego Death, how to identify it and how to deal with it, so we won’t go into that here.  This month we’ll be more likely confronted by our Upper Limits (“This is not Credible because I was taught that if something sounds too good to be True, it probably is”).  On the other hand, and Ego that’s willing to look beyond its birdcage, will find Surprise and Delight in a Neptune-South Node Initiation,

The South Node-Neptune Cycle that began at the turn of the Century was Initiated at 4 Aquarius, “A Hindu Yogi demonstrates his healing powers: The disciplined use of spiritual energies in restoring the natural harmony disturbed by man’s inharmonic attempts to transcend Nature through mind.

We haven’t mentioned it because there was so much more going on at this “New Dawn” quasi-Eclipse, but in the Full Moon chart, Neptune is only a Degree and a half shy of Initiating the Moon’s South Node again, so Neptune and the South Node are in fact Conjunct, and anyone with two Degrees or more of Sensitivity to Neptune or the South Node, will be Feeling it already.  (With regard to Sensitivity, less is more – “two Degrees or more of Sensitivity” means “two Degrees or less of physical Separation.)

Our current Neptune-South Node Initiation, which will govern the next sixteen years, isn’t Exact until 3 November, at 10 Pisces – “An aviator pursues their journey, flying through ground-obscuring clouds: Hupersons’ ability to develop powers and skills which by transcending natural limitations allow them to operate in [non-physical] realms.”  Bodes well for Piercing the Veil.

Post-Modern Biology tells us that our Mitochondria, which have their own maternally given genes distinct from the paternal-maternal genes in our cell nuclei, have direct access to All of the Information in the Universe via their direct connection to the Zero Point Field.  There are two influences that can clog that direct connection and hence shut down our access to All of the Information in the Universe – heavy metals and Held Emotions.  In a word, The Veil.

We can’t in good conscience talk about South-Node Cycles without considering the other side of the Karmic Coin – North-Node Cycles.  While the Yogic Neptune-South Node Initiation of January 2000 would govern the following sixteen years, its effect would be Waning in the latter half of that period, while the North Node-Neptune Cycle Waned.  

The Neptune-North Node Initiation occurred in April 2008 at 25 Aquarius, “A butterfly with the right wing more perfectly formed: The capacity to develop the rational and fully conscious aspect of mind ahead of normal evolution.”  That Cycle will now begin to Wane.  2008, recall, was right in the middle of the Neptune-Chiron-Jupiter triple Initiation, our by-now well-known “Fresh Violets in an Ancient Pottery Bowl.”

Corresponding as it did with the Derivatives Meltdown engendered by the Greed Archetype, and based very clearly on previous Chiron-Neptune Cycles (which are about Despair and Miracles around the Relationship between the Individual and the Culture/Economy), we read the Fresh Violets as the roots of the underground Economy that has sprouted to replace the shift work that NAFTA and its cousins have assigned to the dustbin, and as the roots of the Victory Garden-equivalents that have sprouted to replace the denutritioned and poisoned faux Food sold by the Corporate Cartel.

We as Egos benefit from assigning Consciousness of some degree to supra-Personal Entities like the Archetypes.  It’s fairly obvious that the Greed Archetype is sowing the seeds of its own Fall from Grace, whether that’s the negative effect of becoming too Ambitious, or the positive effect of its natural striving for Balance.  We can see the Greater Good Archetype growing well since the 2008 peak of Greed – we have to consider them as one Coin, spinning slowly as it prepares to fall on one side or the other in alternate Universes.

So this New Dawn in inextricably bound to the new Neptune-South Node Initiation – Flying Blind, Trusting our Instincts.  Idealism, which will create a defined path from Present to Future, will be gradually replaced by our combined Instinctive Genii Surprising and Delighting us – once we Learn to Appreciate Confusion for it’s own sake.

That Big River in Egypt

April 29, 2016

Many thanks to a reader for asking the provocative question…

“Any way you could share what you yourself feel you need to let go of that you’ve been clinging to so I can see whether I’m on the right track?” 

Eris is about Denial – namely, that which has been pushed into the Unconscious in order not to Overwhelm Consciousness or shatter the Ego.  So as Uranus approaches Eris it’s not about “what we feel we need to let go of that we’ve been clinging to,” it’s about what we will discover in the way of unknown Beliefs, or long-standing Limits that we’ve misinterpreted as Irritations or social norms, and which are likely to come into Focus as Self-Sabotage.  These aren’t just the Masks we put on to meet others, but the Masks we wear to Protect our Ego from the sometimes-brutal Honesty of the Self.

Denial is a healthy process, helping to keeping the Ego functioning in order to keep the Vehicle Safe.  However, the Revelation of Denial, when it’s Gentle and Loving, is also a very healthy process – to everything there is a Season.  The theory, true or otherwise, is that when we persistently ignore Gentle and Loving hints about what’s being ignored, and the Soul feels that Expanded Consciousness has become more important than the Safety provided by the Denial, the Unconscious will resort to more serious tactics than the Gentle and Loving,

Note that when anyone else accuses you of being “in Denial,” it’s always a Manipulation, an attempt to Intimidate and Control you.  They know nothing about the relationship between your Soul and Ego, and never will.  A gifted Psychic may have some information about that, but no Psychic worth listening to would ever accuse anyone of being “in Denial.”  I know Gurus who use a shock method for communicating, but in my experience they’re shocking you into listening to the Inner Voices that you already know of, but which you’ve been discounting for years.  Taking “the answer you’ve already rejected” is a Gentle way of moving in that direction.

Our reader continues…

Something came up yesterday where in retrospect I can see I felt a powerful need for attention or validation or appreciation or recognition, or something along those lines, from sources from which it’s just not going to come.  This theme is so ancient that it has become exhausting.  I felt sharp pain and anger for a brief moment, but recovered nicely, if not altogether tidily, and the moment passed pretty quickly, all things considered.  I’m left feeling a little…silly, infantile and embarrassed, though not really ashamed because I seem to have already forgiven myself for the temporary lapse in sanity.  Does that qualify?  And if so does it mean I need to provide those things for myself?”

There’s a strong correlation between our Masks and our unmet Childhood needs.  For instance, as a child many of us had “a powerful need for Attention or Validation or Appreciation or Recognition from a source from which it never came.”  So we put on a Mask that protected our Vulnerability to what we were inappropriately led to believe was a weakness.  We all need Attention or Validation or Appreciation or Recognition, and some sources are critical.  For instance, anyone who doesn’t expect that from a spouse or employer or friend is probably in an Abusive Relationship.  A Codependent Relationship is one where the Validation of the Other is more important to us than our own Values.

The part about “I’m left feeling a little…Silly, Infantile and Embarrassed, though not really Ashamed because I seem to have already forgiven myself for the temporary lapse in Sanity” needs to be reversed.  It was the feeling of  “Silly, Infantile and Embarrassed” (or Pain and Anger, as the case may be) that IS the Sanity.  Just not necessarily age-appropriate Sanity, although it would be perfectly age-appropriate in a close Relationship.  “Silly, Infantile and Embarrassed” and “Pain and Anger” were age-appropriate at the age when you were striving for Validation and learned that it was never to be forthcoming.  

It’s not the Emotions that are ever age-inappropriate, it’s their Expression.  When we regress to a Childhood circumstance, which you likely did, our Skillset regresses with us.  So we’re trying to deal with a Current-Moment situation with the Social Skills of a four-year-old or two-year-old, or sometimes even a preverbal child whose primary Social Skills are Awe and an obsession to hunt for Mirrors.  So of course we’re going to feel Silly, Infantile, and Embarrassed.  When we begin to Recover these Lost parts of our Self, we have to endure this for a while, as we give ourself the Space to Practice.  We come up to Current-Moment speed very quickly. however, once we can discern the difference between Present Moment and Regression.

The “brief” part of your Pain and Anger is important.  The faster we “correct,” edit, or Control our True Emotions, the deeper is our Unconscious Devotion to the Archetype (in this case, Vulnerability is Not Safe) rather than to the Self and Soul.  So all three of the “Pain and Anger,” the “Silly, Infantile and Embarrassed,” and the Judgment about “Lapse in Sanity” are doorways to whatever it is that you’re Masking from yourself.  You may already be well aware of it intellectually, but this is not an intellectual process, it’s a deep Emotional one.  To intellectually understand a chronic or acute Trauma is very useful for everyday Control, but it’s far different from the Re-Experience of the original Emotions which is necessary for Healing.

The Cultural idea that “Maturity” means having Control over your Emotions is part of the Patriarchical propaganda that we need to overcome.  “Maturity” certainly includes the ability to avoid Harm to Self and Other through Skillful Expression, but Emotions are the stock and trade of True Relationships, so Controlling them is a serious Self-Abandonment.  Exactly as the Patriarchy desires, because a Self-Abandoned Ego is easily Controlled from the outside.

Do note that the Re-Experience of the original Emotions need not be Re-Traumatizing, as has been shown by Gary Craig, David Feinstein, and Dawson Church in the case of Vietnam Veterans, and by the latter two in many international situations such as the Genocide in Bosnia.  Bessel van der Kolk’s amazing book, The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma very readably covers his journey from rookie to Master of these regions.  He believes that buried Trauma is the greatest danger facing Huperity today.  And I would agree that it’s buried Trauma – aka Limiting Beliefs – that create and perpetrate the other greatest dangers that the Planet faces.

Your Reaction to the Pain and Anger was immediately suppression – that is the sort of information that Eris is revealing to us.  The Goddesses who fought one another over Eris’s Golden Apple never realized that Eris was revealing their Vanity, nor did the Gods who presided name it, and the rest of Greek history reflects that lack of Consciousness.  The ending to that story can be attributed to the idea that Greek Mythology is the chronicle of the Patriarchy overcoming the Matriarchy – the Golden Apples story demeans women as irretrievably Devoted to the Archetype of Vanity, and the “superiority” of male Devotion to the Archetype of Warriorship in its defense.  Substitute Vanity for Vulnerability and Warriorship for Maskmaking, and Eris’s story is the same as yours.

You’ve “forgiven yourself” for the Silly, Infantile and Embarrassed.  And you refer to your True Emotions as a “temporary lapse in Sanity.”  More information gifted from Eris.  We’re speculating, as I have no business butting into the Relationship between your Ego and your Soul, but here are some possibilities…

You may have a Limiting Belief that your Childish Joy (Silly, Infantile, Embarrassed) is not valid.  If so, that would be likely to be a strong inhibition on your Spontaneity and Creativity.

You may have a Limiting Belief that Pain and Anger are not suitable for polite company.  If so, that could seriously inhibit your ability to rapidly and effectively set good Boundaries.

You may have a Limiting Belief that your True Emotions are not “Sane.”  If so, that would be a tight collar on your Relationships and your Ability to share your ample Wisdom to Lead others.

You can explore these doorways if you wish, by first making sure you’re Safe, and then recalling as best you can, in turn, the moment when you felt Infantile, the moment when you judged your feelings as not Sane, and the moment when you felt the Pain and Anger.  I’d recommend approaching each in its own session (repeated as useful).  Set a firm Anchor before you start – for instance, some incontrovertible evidence of your current age, so you can return at will to the Present Moment if you begin to get lost in the Past.  Carkeys in hand is a possibility.  Your objective for all three sessions is Wonder

“I Wonder what if anything this has to do with Expanding my Consciousness to include the portions of my Soul that have been missing.”  Or – 

“I Wonder how this might translate into a Limiting Belief that sabotages my ability to Manifest my Heart’s Desire.”  Or even –

“I Wonder if I’m really Living my own Truth around these issues, and if not, how I might move Gently and Lovingly in that direction.”

Or something like these.  Your “sessions” could be as brief as that, if you then Changed the Subject and let your Intuition work on the question.  If Memories start to flow (the asteroid Mnemosyme – Memory – entered Aries a few days ago, and it won’t be far from the Eris-Uranus Initiation in early June), let them come, as long as you still feel Safe.  If you start to feel Unsafe, Revert to your Anchor, and resume later after you’ve Grounded yourself (Food often works).

Be Mindful of Conclusions; you want to Open windows, not close doors.  Remember that Confusion is good, as it indicates that the Consciousness-Expansion has begun.  You want small incremental Ahas, not big Decisions.  Suffix everything with “… or something like that.”  We have time yet, we don’t need to push ourselves, and this is very delicate territory, this Edge between Consciousness and the Unconscious.  

Besides Eris, the major planets dealing with this Edge include…

  • Juno, whose modus operandi was to turn threats to her Ego into Stone
  • Hylonome, who killed herself when confronted with alienation from her favorite Archetype
  • Vesta, symbolizing (for good or ill – we’d be long lost without Habits!) Unquestioned Archetypes

Compared to these, Eris is a Gentle and Loving partner in our urgent need to escape from Archetypes which encode the End of Civilization.  It’s also useful to remember that the Eris-Uranus Initiation is occurring in Aries – that which hasn’t happened before, that which we’re beginning to Create from Scratch (out of Spirit actually), that which we will have no hope of actually understanding for a long time – probably till Uranus gets to its Waxing Square with Eris.  “Blown inward by the wind, the curtains of an open window take the shape of a cornucopia,” suggesting rich rewards for those willing to be Open to the inscrutable Winds of Spirit.

Your original question about “what I myself feel I need to let go of, that I’ve been clinging to”?  If I rephrase that as “where does Eris seem to be leading me next?” then I have no shortage of Stories, which I intend to tell.

Lifespan of an Ego

April 26, 2016

The big event here is a Retrograde Station of asteroid Lachesis (Lak’-e-sis) on 28 April.  The Mythological Lachesis was one of the three Fates, the one who measured the span of a Life.  I’m guessing you’ve recently been busy revising your estimates of how long you may Live.

In this Shadow Period (the span of a Retrogradation) between 22 Sagittarius and 4 Capricorn that lasts until early August, Lachesis backs over Quaoar (Law-Giver), Pholus (Responsibility), the Galactic Center (Headquarters) and Ixion (Abandoned Genius).  It’s already crossed them once, and it will cross them thrice before we’re done.  The first crossing is called a “Can-Opener” because it often opens a Can of Worms you hadn’t been thinking about.

  • The Lachesis-Ixion Can-Opener occurred on 27 February.  We were probably looking at Limitations in our Lives and Wondering how to Overcome them.
  • The Lachesis-Pholus Can-Opener happened on 11 March, and was probably about Realizations that we can no longer ignore certain Self-Sabotaging elements in our approach to Life.
  • The Lachesis-Quaoar Can-Opener was 18 March.  That was probably about revising our estimations of how long we can Survive on this Planet – collectively and individually – without extreme Changes to our Lifestyle and to our basic attitude toward the Soul of the Planet,

Check your journals.  The involvement of the Galactic Center makes these reconsiderations a great deal more consequential than they otherwise would be.  This section of the Zodiac – the end of Sagittarius – has been lit up strongly for several years, and not by accident.  This is the Scorpio zone (“Duad” in astrologuese) of Sagittarius, and the message is very clearly

What is it that I need to Let Go of, but which I’m clinging to so tightly?

It’s past time, Change is afoot, and your old approach won’t work any more, no matter how well it’s served you over the years.  Ask yourself that question, and reconsider the answer you’ve already rejected.  Or, if that’s not clear as a bell, omit the question mark and make it a Wondering, surrendering the question to your Intuition.  That’s a better approach anyway.

The Bottom Line is that it IS possible for us to reboot our Civilizations.  But we have to Listen to what’s really going on instead of gripping our Denial, we need to be Proactive about the Changes we need to make, and we need to Respect one another’s Unique Contributions, Trusting that their Intuition is correct for them, no matter how dumb it looks to us.  We look just as dumb to them, and ALL Contributions are necessary.

We could easily encounter major Ego Deaths here.  Remember to translate “It feels like I’m DYING!” to  “It feels like I’M dying.”  We cannot differentiate between “us” and our Ego – Ego Are Us.  So of course an Ego Death feels like a Physical Death.  But you’ll have thousands of Ego Deaths for every Physical Death, and the faster you can recognize that happening, the sooner you can begin constructively building a new Ego.  They aren’t optional.

When we talk about Ego we aren’t talking about being Selfish or Self-Absorbed.  We’re talking about our basic Survival Instinct.  We need enough Selfishness and Self-Absorption to keep ourself Safe, and to make sure that we always see ourselves as Worthy of Safety and Survival.  Those are critical distinctions; whenever you sense any Unworthiness in yourself around Safety and Survival, it’s a red flag to get Selfish and Self-Absorbed.  It’s not optional.

Lachesis has been within one Degree of its Station – in other words, basically Standing Still and therefore Strong – since 10 April.  If you aren’t a different person now than you were on 9 April, you will be soon.  Take it as an Opportunity.

Mercury is also turning Retrograde on 28 April.  It backs over asteroid Vesta (Unconscious Beliefs), giving us the opportunity to become Aware of our Limiting Beliefs.  Awareness is a prerequisite to Change.  Mercury’s Shadow Period is 15-24 Taurus and 28 April-22 May.  This section of Taurus (Scorpio through Aquarius Duads) is about re-examining what we’ve been Creating, and adapting it to the Good of All.  We can no longer afford Competition, lest we All go down fighting with one another.  Everything we do must now be Collaborative, and directed toward Sustainability.

Portal 24-29.3 – Saturn IV

March 27, 2016

Another reader writes that during this Saturn Station and T-Square…

“As I was leaving a coffee shop near here, I had some difficulty backing my car out of a fairly small space because someone had parked their pickup truck at an angle straddling the line between the spaces, with the back end of the truck intruded into the space where my car was parked and prevented me from backing my car out easily.  He and his buddy, it turned out, were having a smoke on the other side of the truck and they basically heaped abuse on me, saying I was going to damage the truck.
“So I invited them to try to get my car out, politely pointing out that the truck was parked obliquely across the line dividing the two spaces.  Then my car got scratched due to a pipe sticking out from above the front wheel of the truck that caught my car as the fellow backed it out.  Still, they continued with their demeaning comments, repeatedly referring to me in the third person as ‘she,’ and saying things like ‘she better have insurance.’
“While they weren’t quite as scary as the characters in the movie Deliverance, I’m sure you’re conjuring an accurate image of these ‘cowboys.’  Instinctively, I didn’t argue with their (il)logic, instead apologizing and thanking them for backing my car out of the tight spot.  When I gently pointed out that it was my car that got scratched in the end, they said “Good!”
“Afterwards I felt a bit of anger and frustration (which I processed pretty easily), but mostly jubilation that I had been able to stay present enough not to get baited into the proverbial Show-Down at the OK Corral.  I realized there is no point in trying to reason with people of that level of (un)consciousness, and that it’s really not a problem simply letting go of the need to prove my point, much less seek justice in the form of reparations, or, Goddess Forbid, an apology for their crude and vaguely threatening behavior.

“Any thoughts on where this experience fits in with the various planetary ‘assignments’ we’re facing currently?  Since I have a tight Venus-Saturn Angle natally, I figured the T-square triggered the incident, but perhaps it’s one of the other current configurations that this incident better exemplifies…?”

Well this nightmare reeks of Nessus – folks so used to Privilege that they don’t hesitate to Abuse whenever they think they can get away with it.

Stretching Values?  Well, I honor deeply your Masterful Attention to the Value of Safety.  You and I agree that there is no Learning without Safety, and it’s not unusual that when we attempt to Grow beyond what’s Safe, we often set ourselves back.  What about the Value of Self-Sovereignty?  That was blatantly violated.  But I don’t see any other Response that wouldn’t threaten your Safety even more than it was.  

So there may be a suggestion here that you could gain from PIAVAing to Lovingly and Gently increase your Self-Sovereignty AND Safety.  We might say “Self-Sovereignty without compromising Safety,” but will the Unconscious interpret “without” as a negation and therefore ignore it?  You’re good on Safety here, but I don’t think it’ll hurt to “increase Self-Sovereignty AND Safety.”

In the Saturn-Stationary T-Square chart there are 78 Degrees between Saturn and Nessus – 78 isn’t a particularly strong Angle.  What about in your natal chart?  Well, yes, a strong Angle between your natal Saturn and your natal Nessus, and the Angle is triggered by the ‘Transiting’ (in the sky now) Saturn T-Square.  Plus, Pallas (Boundaries) and Lilith (Self-Sovereignty) are involved.  Where does this lead us?  There’s a suggestion that you may have an Unconscious Belief that Respect for your Right to Sovereignty over your own Space is not available to you – which, under the Patriarchy, wouldn’t be unusual.

How would we transcend the Patriarchy?  Each time we do that as individuals, we build the Archetype that will allow the Planet as a whole to transcend the Patriarchy.  The problem with Unconscious Beliefs is that they have correlates.  For instance, an Unconscious Belief that Respect is unavailable will correlate with a hole in the Aura, a hole that will be unconsciously seen by a Bully as an invitation to manipulate.  Or with a change of posture that telegraphs Vulnerability.  We don’t intend to Blame the person who is Bullied, but to Learn how to avoid being Bullied.

While we might be able to work Consciously on posture, we could easily overcorrect and invite Competition.  It’s Safer to fix the hole in our Aura.  We could do that by manipulating our own Energy field, but if we don’t routinely see Energy, or hang out with a Skilled coach who does, it’s probably easier to use our Wardrobe Mirrors…

https://astrobuss.wordpress.com/2015/10/21/boundaries-forgiveness-mirrors/

The most important part of this work is Persistence.  It’s easy to say, “Why should we have to be the one to do this! Why don’t we just get Respect in the first place?”  We could Respond that if this is an issue for me, then it’s one I came into this Lifetime to Learn how to Heal.  Healing Vulnerability to Intimidation is also a critical part of the shift from the Patriarchy to a more Equitable social structure, so it would be appropriate for many of us to come onto the Planet at this Time to Learn – and hence Teach – how to command Respect without having to Work at it.  It won’t be that easy to begin with, but it will get easier as we Practice, till eventually it becomes Habitual.

Portal 24-29.3 – Saturn et al Stationary III

March 25, 2016

Another reader speaks up…

“Yes, Bummers indeed… At least it’s getting easier…!  And yes, there have been weird physical symptoms.
“A couple of questions for you:
“Any way you could give an example of ‘challenges to expand our values,’ perhaps from your personal experience or the experience of someone you’ve heard from?  I sense it’s important and that something may have come into my awareness along these lines, but it escapes me.”

A few examples of Values that might require Expanding for some of us…

“One of the defining characteristics of the shaman is a close relationship with animal and bird companions that includes the ability to borrow their forms.  These relationships are part of a broader connectedness with all nature – with the spirit of trees and plants, of stone and mountains – that flows from the awareness that everything is alive, everything is ensouled, everything is related.”  — Robert Moss, Dreamgates, p. 72

Anyone being “victimized” by one of these violent Spring storms crossing the US?  What Value do you place on your Relationship to the Weather, or to Climate?  How Active are you in the campaign against Global Warming?  How often do you commune with the Gods and Goddesses of Weather?  Does that sound ridiculous to you?

I don’t know how the violence in Europe is being covered by the media there, but in the US, it’s all “How could those monsters do those things to us?”  The US builds some 60-or-so percent of all the bombs and killing machines in the World.  When we use those on the rest of the World, does the media ask “How could we be such monsters to do those things to those other people?”

” ‘It’s a difficult decision, the steady paycheck makes me feel secure and useful, and I expect it will be close to impossible to get health insurance because of my pre-existing condition.  But I’m impatient to be doing those things that were important to me before my career pushed everything aside.’  

“The outer journey for recognition became less and less important as I explored the inner terrain.  My feminine voice became stronger as I developed the courage to let go of my reliance on linear mind.  Then I was free to listen to dreams, images, and inner allies.  These became my guides.  When a woman reduces the emphasis on the outer heroic quest for self-definition, she is free to explore her images and her voice.”  –Maureen Murdock, The Heroine’s Journey, p.10.

“Part of the calling of women as we move into the 21st century is to revive a spirituality of creativity that is not afraid of the strange beauty of the underwater world of the subconscious, and to help men out of the restricted and narrow world of provable and limited fact in which society has imprisoned them.  My role as a feminist is not to compete with men in their world – that’s too easy, and ultimately unproductive.  My job is to live fully as a woman, enjoying the whole of myself and my place in the universe.”  –Madeleine L’Engle, “Shake the Universe,” Ms magazine, Summer 1987, pp.182-5, quoted in Murdock op cit p.11.

“Although ecological values and holistic ideas can be imagined and are being articulated now, actual implementation is uncommon because such values are at odds with the prevailing patriarchal pattern.  Ownership of natural resources by this or that individual, corporation, or state, and exploitation of the natural world are automatic corollaries of the patriarchal world view, which is still the norm for us.”  –Genia Haddon, Body Metaphors, p.109.

“This comes from the illusion that if others knew our hearts – who we truly are – they would not choose us.  We must choose ourselves, and by that strength live our lives…  In the future the word ‘healing’ … will not be related to this strange attachment we have to inertia, whereby we attempt to hold ourselves on one point lest we lose control and expand.  Healing must go deeper.  Healing will one day refer to the actual energetic process of transmutation, transformation, transcendence.”  –Chris Griscom, Ecstasy Is a New Frequency, pp.76-7.

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I’d Do Anything for Love, but I Won’t Do That!

Our reader continues…

“Then when your reader quotes you with reference to taunts they have received, you write: ‘An excellent test of how your very subtle growth is progressing will be your sense of Being Violated.  Certainly not physically, but if you encounter Insults, Pay Attention.’ 
“Again, wondering if you could expand upon this, as in, Pay Attention to What?  I appear to have been ‘slighted’ a few times recently, in ways that make it hard for me to know whether the person really meant to offend, whether is was my imagination or just my own defensiveness and/or projection of my own insecurities about myself onto what was said to me about me by others.  So are the ‘bad’ qualities they are pointing out in me clues as to my rejected inner genius as you describe?”

Absolutely!  I recall in one of Gay Hendricks’s books he remarked that a participant in one of his workshops took every criticism he heard, and weighed it carefully to see if it was “useful” to him.  It’s handy that your attackers were ambiguous, because it doesn’t have anything to do with them anyway, it’s all between your Ego and your Genius, or at least between your Ego and your Self-Doubt.  You could actually take the dictionary, and run through all of the adjectives, to see which of them raise your hackles when paired with “I am.”

Aside from the fact that you should feel totally insulted to be called an adjective (I mean, how limiting! – you could at least be a verb, if you were going to limit your scope to conceiving of yourself as a part of speech), the greater your Resistance to any given adjective, the greater the likelihood that tracing that Resistance back to its origins (When was the first time that I can recall Resisting that appellation?  What was going on?  Why do you suppose I was in Resistance then?  Of course I need to be Loving and Gentle with that poor fellow, maybe even Empathetic) will be useful, leading either to your Rejected Genius (Ixion), or to the Skills hidden beneath your Held Emotions (South Node), or at least to other Limiting Beliefs (Vesta).

Of course you can always run through a list of the adjectives associated with the Signs and Houses and Angles of your Ixion and South Node and Vesta, and even Orcus – one of the few times when supposedly “negative” attributes, or the “negative” side of “positive” attributes will be useful.

Anyplace where we try to constrain ourself to some languagable characteristic, we know we’re stuck in an Archetype.  We are Infinite.  Of course, we’re also all Petty – Both/And.  But why dwell on our Pettiness, when we can dwell with our Infinitude.  Definitely spend enough time with your Pettiness, in all its forms, to Let Go of the Emotional Baggage constellated around it.  Fundamentalists, whether Religious or Scienterrific, want to Limit us to languagable Either/Or Wordings (not Beings) that don’t Frighten them.  Remember that a foundational tenet of their Beliefs is that Direct Communion with the Goddesshead – let alone identification with Her – is verboten; if it doesn’t pass muster with their User’s Guide, it’s insanity, and quite possibly actionable, at a minimum medicable.  

Those are dangerous people, you don’t want to hang out with them.  But wait.  If we eschew Self-Judgment, won’t we all be just clones of The Donald?  Well, I think we’ve proven to ourselves that we’re capable of Self-Judgment, even capable of Self-Examination.  And the bottom-line difference, capable of Compassion.  And capable of Curiosity.  It’s a good use for Curiosity – “I Wonder if I’m a poster child for that word that I have an unpleasant Reaction to?”  If we then Change the Subject, that might be a good way to induce Time-Travel back to our original unpleasantness, perhaps even to the time that we swore an Oath (Orcus) that “I’ll never be like that!”

It’s a fantastic time to Take Full Responsibility (Pholus, Stationary 6am 26 March) to Make Decisions that Have Survival Value (Quaoar, Stationary 1pm 29 March), such as Decisions that Celebrate Love, especially Self-Love (Sappho, Stationary 5pm 29 March).  I do believe that the denizens of this Planet are doomed until they figure out that they really need to Value above all the fact that “everything is alive, everything is ensouled, everything is related” (asteroid Hopi).