If you can find and watch 24:30 through 35:00 of this video, you’ll be very Clear about The Most Important Thing…
If you don’t plan to spend much Future Time on this Planet, in your current Lifetime or others, then no worries. If Life-Threatening Challenges are your Cuppa Tea, then no worries. Otherwise, This is Big. Compared to This, everything else is as Important as making mudpies. So we highly recommend that you quit wasting Emotional and Physical Energy and Time fretting about the mudpies, and Commit yourself fully to The Most Important Thing.
Don’t worry about the details, just PIAVA to Lovingly and Gently come to Grok your Perfect Unique Role, in your own Time. When you do find your Perfect Unique Role, it’ll be Great Fun, and not at all the Difficulty – or Impossibility – that you now imagine it to be. It’s really true that If you aren’t part of the Solution you’re part of the Problem, so please, No Longer Lend Your Strength to That Which You Wish to Be Free From.
Of course your own The Most Important Thing must Arise from your own Heart, but we do need to warn that we’ll be Obsessing about our own personal The Most Important Thing till at least 9pm PDT on 10 May 2020 (when Saturn [The Most Important Thing] Stands Still in the Sky [Impacts us Strongly] at 2 Aquarius). Oh, our Values will also be up for review till at least 11:45 pm 12 May (when Venus [Values] Stands Still in the Sky at 21 Gemini). So lots of Self-Review. Of course The Most Important Way to Approach The Most Important Thing is to monitor yourself to Avoid dwelling on WhatYouDon’tWant, so you can keep your Focus – which is what Creates your Future – on WhatYouDoWant.
Which, with everything (us included) Changing rapidly, means we can Expect to Experience Confusion fairly often. Confusion isn’t my Favorite Emotion. Which is why I’m working hard on Turning That Around, so Confusion becomes my Favorite Emotion. Well, maybe my second-Favorite, after Ecstasy. At any rate, Confusion is the first sign of Growth in Consciousness.So it’s Precious. Our Concept Set forms the skeleton for our Ego and rationalizes our Limiting Unconscious Beliefs (such as “Nothing I can do about that!“). Positive Change is Available only when our Concept Set wavers and quivers – which means we Feel Confused.
Tweety is our Ego, the Cage is our Concept Set, and Sylvester is everything that’s Eliminated from our Life by our Unconscious Limiting Beliefs. Notice how Tweety looks kind of Confused by what’s happening.
However, Growth in Consciousness only occurs when we don’t try to outsmart our Confusion. (Tweety relies on her Instinctual Wisdom of Experience, not Mentality). When we try to Figure Out what’s Confusing us and make it Go Away, we Lose our Opportunity for Growth. Figuring It Out just regrouts the bricks in the walls of our Concept Set. This is especially important here while the symbol for our Ego is still Merged with the symbol for our Confidence (Stationary Saturn [Ego] Conjunct dwarf planet Chariklo [Self-Confidence and Self-Doubt], which runs from December 2019 till January 2021). I mean, what’s more Important to the Ego than Confidence?
We know Intuitively that nothing makes a Huper more Attractive to Other Hupers than Self-Confidence. It makes Life so much easier when Others find us Attractive and want to curry our favor. Confidence is far more Compelling than Competence – that’s how the Antichrist Bullied his way into Fame and Glory. Self-Doubt is one of the biggest impediments to Abundance. Unfortunately, many of us are Addicted to Self-Doubt. We get there by failing to Embrace Ego Death.
The Antichrist gives us a Master Teaching at Avoiding Self-Doubt. He just Reframes History, Effortlessly and Immediately. We may not want to do it his way, but the Lesson is Valuable because it brings the Issue into the Light of Day. The Issue is, Do we Create our own Reality or Not? He’s obviously a Master at Creating a Surreality that fits him to a T. History books are full of Masters at Creating their own Surrealities. The Antichrist Demonstrates the process – just Create your own Surreality, and whenever it conflicts with Reality, quickly Adjust it. His Goal is Adulation. We could emulate his techniques for other Goals, such as Abundance (Having Enough to Share), a Livable Environment, a Collaborate Culture, Immunity to 5G and Granolaviruses, Ascension, or WhateverWeWant.
Doubt and Confusion are kissing cousins. When we Fake our way out of Doubt we often get caught. If we aren’t famous enough, that matters. When we try to Fake our way out of Confusion by Figuring It Out, we also Create more Trouble for ourself. Like any other Emotion, in order to Release it we need to Accept and Embrace it Exactly as it Is. When we do that, we dispel it – we literally break the Spell that it has cast on us.
We get Unstuck by training ourself to Notice when we’re Feeling Confused, and then Consciously Celebrate it. Getting Beyond our Limiting Unconscious Beliefsis necessary if we are pursuing Abundance, Ascension, Enlightenment, or virtually any other major Change in our Karma. (Our Limiting Unconscious Beliefs, by the way, are symbolized by asteroid Vesta, and Vesta Conjoins Stationary Venus as we speak. We talked about that a little in Values and Beliefs Full Moon.) We should write about the Venus-Vesta Cycle, because…
The Dance between our Values, Beliefs, Desires, Emotions, and Thoughts – including what and how we Think about our Emotions – are very Important to our progress toward WhatWeWant. Most of us are very Confused, without Realizing it, about the Difference between Our Emotions andOur Thoughts About Our Emotions. Emotions happen in our Body. The minute we move into our Head and begin ThinkingAbout our Emotions, we’ve totally Abandoned both our Emotions and our Selves. Yet we need to Align our Passion and our Thoughts in order to Manifest Cleanly.
Does any place in your Body hurt or Feel Uncomfortable right now? Are you Able to Lovingly and Gently put your Total Attention into that place, and watch how it Changes? How long can you do that without Thinking About how it Feels? It’s fine to Think About how long we’re Holding our Attention there, as long as we’re Experiencing how it Feels, and not Labeling or Comparing (as Marshall Rosenberg liked to say, “Feels Like” expresses a Thought, not an Emotion) it, or Leaving the Present Moment.
Holding your Total and Unconditionally Loving and Gentle Attention on any Discomfort in your Body is one of the most Healing things you can do for it. When you Notice that your Attention has Wandered, just quietly Bring It Back, without Judgment. Notice if your Body has Created any Hardening around the Discomfort, as we often do in an effort to Separate Pain from our Identity. If there is, Consciously Soften it. That’ll Open the blood flow around the space, and accelerate the Body’s natural Healing. That’s what Bodies do for a Living, if we let them.
Try doing the same with a Difficult Emotion. Locate it in your Body, and give it Total Unconditionally Loving and Gentle Attention. If you can do that without Labeling or Comparing it, or Leaving the Present Moment, you’ll find that the Discomfort dissolves the way it does when you Poor-Sweetheart yourself. It’s quite Miraculous if you aren’t used to doing it. When we Leave the Present Moment – “OMG, this reminds me of…” or “What will happen if…” – we’re ThinkingAbout the Emotion, not Feeling it, Experiencing it, or Giving it our Attention. We’re Abandoning the Emotion and our Self.
Not that it isn’t useful to Anal-yze how any Discomfort fits into your TimeLines. For instance, Realizing that an Unpleasant Feeling is another Mirror for a Childhood Trauma, can in a few seconds help to Heal both the Discomfort and the PTSD. And Realizing that some Discomfort that’s Arising is a clue about why we aren’t instantly Manifesting something we just PIAVAed, can in a few seconds help to melt our Resistance to that Manifestation.
Remember that if we aren’t ready to Manifest something that we’ve PIAVAed, the first thing the Universe will do is give us an Illustration of why we aren’t ready.
But we need to Learn to instantly Recognize the Difference between our Emotions and our Thoughts About them. A Healthy Emotion Arises and then Dissipates, Informing us about something Important in the process. If there’s no Dissipation, it’s because we’ve shifted from Feeling it to Thinking About it. That can Freeze Emotions for years, Creating and Deepening Karma in the process. When we get stuck on an Emotion it’s almost always alreadyKarmic, and every time we Think About it instead of Feeling it, we cement the Karma in place more firmly.
Karmic Emotions are Held Emotions, the ones We’d rather Die than Feel. So it’s a natural, Healthy Reaction to find any way we can to Avoid that, including shifting transparently from Feeling to Thinking. If you’ve been reading this blog long, you know that “We’d rather Die than Feel that” is a misrepresentation. It’s what we Experience, but it’s an Illusion. It’s really “We’d rather Die than Feel that” – yes, We, our Ego, our current Identity, has to Die in order for us to Feel that. That’s how Karma works. The Ego’s job is to keep us Alive and Well, so this works well.
Except when we Want to Change or Manifest something that’s not already in our Karma, and then we need to Tolerate or even Court Ego Death in order to get beyond our Limiting Unconscious Beliefs. In fact, Ego Death becomes The Most Important Thing. It doesn’t even matter if the Planet has been Destroyed, because we in fact Create our own Reality, as a Mirror for our Internal Self-Love processes, so we’ll just Re-Create it in our Image.
We’ll talk more about these things, and how Confusion and Curiosity (the Quincunx and Finger of the Goddess) relate to one another, when we look at tomorrow’s Saturn Station chart in detail.
Okay, more about the Full Moon chart and the Partial Eclipse that’s a Gateway to the impending Big Total Solar Eclipse that shines a spotlight on the USofA…
As with all Signs, we can run them Positively or we can run them Negatively. Remember though that the World (and hopefully your segment of it) needs ultimately to be in Balance, and is Multidimensional as well, so don’t get stuck in Archetypes that worship either side of that Duality.
(Actually, the World and yourself are always in Balance, it’s just that whatever is needed to Balance your Conscious side resides in the Unconscious. Since the Unconscious actually rules us, then from this Perspective, the nicer you are, the meaner you really are – and vice versa.)
You’ve been to performances where you’ve been Exhausted afterward, and other performances where you’ve felt Energized after. That’s the difference between someone who builds their own Confidence by sucking other people’s Energy (we can think of a prominent example who lives in a house that’s being remodeled at the moment), and someone who Shares their Abundant Leonine Self-Love broadly. Abundance is having enough to Share, After all.
This is the Duality often represented by Leo, where Sun and Mars and Atropos (Endings) are all parked at this Full Moon, along with the North Node (Lifetime Mission), Veritas (Truth), and Varuna (Life Force). Varuna will be in Leo for the next quarter-century, which should put a very Auspicious carpet under this Planet for a long while. As for Mars in Leo, if we wrote a song about our Anger, would it draw a cheering crowd? And when we mingle with the crowd afterward, are they the kind of people we’d Feel at Home with?
We all need a place to return to where we are Understood and Respected and Loved for exactly Who We Really Are, so for all but the most Saintly among us, that first sort of Community is what we need to Create, to make a Safe Space for us while we put the finishing touches on our Saintliness. While Anger tends to Divide, the presence of Atropos suggests that Expressing our Anger may help to Let It Go.
This is what the Leo-Aquarius Axis, which this Full Moon Illuminates, is all about, the Coin that unites the Duality. Leo is the epitome of the Individual Self, Aquarius the epitome of Community. Leo represents Fixed Fire, Stabilized Energy, or Spirit Manifested into Form. Aquarius represents Fixed Air, Ideology, or Intellect Manifested into Form. Michael Roads goes to great lengths to differentiate Intellect from Intelligence. To him Intelligence derives from the Heart and Gut, while Intellect derives from the Left Brain.
The Intellect is more than capable of supporting Intelligence, though in the Patriarchy, it’s more likely to support Morality, Politics, and the Preservation of Privilege. Intellect is finely tuned for Logical Analysis, but Logic is a house of cards built upon Assumptions. Propaganda manipulates your Logic without being Clear that its Assumptions may not be Universal. To Transform Aquarius into Intelligence Manifested into Form, we need to Let Go of our Karmic Archetypes. Our Archetypes and Limiting Beliefs are no more and no less than Unconscious Assumptions. As long as they’re Unconscious, we can only see half of the Universe.
While Astrology deals with Dualities, it also deals with the Multidimensional. Leo and Aquarius are not Complete without the other two Fixed Signs, Scorpio and Taurus (and of course the Fixed Signs are not Complete without the Creative and Mutational Signs). Scorpio as Fixed Water or Emotion, and Taurus as Fixed Earth or Matter, represent the Stabilized Emotional and Material aspects of Reality. Of course, depending on your Archetypes, Emotion and Matter can be Stabilized into either Constructive or Deconstructive Directions.
The Klotho-Sappho Conjunction (Creating a New Timeline Based on Self-Love), which is the Focus of the Full Moon T-Square, is in Scorpio, so we’re dealing with an Emotional version of Self-Love. That means the tears that come naturally to your eyes when someone validates the parts of you that are Unseen – your Genius Project, for instance – and when someone perpetrates an Act of Kindness that your own Personal Values wish everyone would do All the Time. And the Grace you Feel when someone Validates your Anger. The Leo-Aquarius Full Moon is about the Dynamic between the Individual and the Collective – between You and Other.
Which means that the Taurus or Matter side of the Four-Dimensional Balance is Vacant – we need to Consciously Ground the Energy. Dan and the Arcfolk concur –http://danielscranton.com/a-process-for-connecting-with-5d-energies-%e2%88%9ethe-9th-dimensional-arcturian-council/. The Vacancy is at 16 Taurus, “The inadequacy of past knowledge in times of crisis.” Hmmm. I’d rephrase that as “…in times of rapid Change” – in a Stable environment, traditional knowledge is actually very Powerful in a crisis. But the point is that we need to PIAVA how to Ground ourself and our Milieu.
There is, however, a Fixed Star in that location, Almach, which is the left foot of the Sacrificial Goddess Andromeda. Foot as in Power, left as in Feminine Power. Andromeda is a symbol of an Out-of-Power Tradition victimized by the Dominant Paradigm. In other words it’s important to bring Self-Trust into Expression of our Anger, and to remember that our Intention is Self-Expression, not to be Understood. If the Perpetrators Understand our Anger at their Oppression, their Dominance will be threatened, and they will be highly Motivated to torment us further.
Our Objective in Expressing our Anger is not Revenge or Restitution, but to Let Go of its Karmic Grasp of us. Actually, our Karma does not Grasp us, our Ego Grasps it. It’s a foundation for our Ego. So to the Ego, it Feels as if it’s the Karma doing the Grasping. We cannot Raise our Vibration until we Let Go of our Archetypes, including our Anger. While it feels like we’re Angry at the Perps in our Present Life, it has Karmic Roots that will not be pulled out by striking out in the Present Life.
To Let Go of Anger or any strong Emotion, we need to start by Poor-Sweethearting it. Strong Emotions are not Comfortable, and we need to Empathize with our own Discomfort. “You poor Sweetheart, you Feel Angry, don’t you.” It’s meant as a declaration of Self-Compassion, not an Accusation. If being Angry makes you a bad person, find a substitute that isn’t. “Your poor Sweetheart, you really Feel Irritated, don’t you.” Or “Agitated,” or “Worked Up.” Then Change the Subject, and see how long it takes for your Anger to return as a thought-stream.
The next time it arises, Tap it Out (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QzVd6Ww0as4). If it’s at all serious, it will take several Iterations. Measure the Intensity of your Anger on a scale of 1 to 10 before and after each Iteration, so you can Witness your Progress. Alternate Poor-Sweethearting, Tapping, and any other PIAVA you can Create, making sure to Change the Subject after each process.
We should note that the Full Moon and the T-Square occur on the Midpoints of the Fixed Signs, which are the Power Points of the Zodiac, symbolizing the Four Horsepersons of the Apocalypse – Apocalypse to the Ego, Liberation of the Soul.
We mentioned Obsession recently in this context, as Obsession can make it particularly difficult to Change the Subject, and a reader wrote to ask us how one might address Obsession. Well, the first question I’d ask, is how might Obsession be indicated in their chart?
If it’s really an Appropriate Expression of their natality, then they may only need to Learn to Love it to Death. That may not stop the Obsession, but it would make it more Pleasant, as once they Learned that, Obsession would trigger Love and Pleasure for them instead of Discomfort. Of course, Learning to Love Obsession will likely involve a good deal of Ego Death, as at least some part of them wants it to go away, and they probably have a big backlog of Other People telling them it’s wrong. But that’s all just a map of where they need to go to Learn to be Loving with it.
So, is Obsession an Appropriate Expression of their natal chart? What would we look for?
Well, the most obvious place to start looking is Scorpio, and to a lesser extent Taurus. These signs, especially Scorpio, don’t Let Go when they get hold of something they don’t fully grok yet, especially something Emotional, and especially something that seems Unfair. Does our friend have planets in Scorpio?
Well, yes. seven of them. We work with 45 planets and other points, so the average Sign should contain less than four planets. So seven is a whole bunch.
We can start by what we would tell any Scorpio that might help them Love themselves…
Scorpio is Compelled to Get to the Bottom of Things. We first Meet Other in Libra, and it raises all kinds of Questions for us, about whether We’re Okay and They Aren’t or They’re Okay and We Aren’t, whenever there seems to be a Conflict or even Contrast between us. This is how we first Discover that our own Childhood may not have been as Loving as it could have been, so it’s not at all trivial.
It’s not easy for Anyone to get to You’re Okay and I’m Okay, and for Scorpio it becomes a Compulsion. It takes a great deal of Maturity to understand that the end point is You’re Okay and I’m Okay rather than You’re Okay or I’m Okay, which complicates the whole process until we Realize that. We also have to Realize that just because You’re Okay and I’m Okay, that doesn’t mean I have to Tolerate you if you aren’t my cup of tea.
Also, Scorpio is Fearless in their Pursuit of Truth. Fearlessness is the most prominent element of Scorpio. Other people do not Trust Scorpio, partly because Scorpio asks penetrating questions that require them to examine themselves more deeply than they usually like to, partly because Scorpio has a tendency to make and hold eye contact longer than most people are comfortable with. Other people often feel like Scorpio is Looking into the Soul (which it is), and if they aren’t fully in Self-Love, it makes them want to run away.
Because of these kinds of Reactions from Other, Scorpio is one of the most difficult Signs to Embody in Left-Brain-worshiping Western Cultures. Remember we aren’t talking about folks with Sun in Scorpio, we’re talking about anyone with a strong emphasis in Scorpio – or Pluto, Scorpio’s “Ruler” – in their natal chart or even in their Transits and Progressions.
These kinds of influences often draw Scorpio toward Addiction, and Teaching them to Love Themselves Exactly As They Are is the first step to helping them get out of Addiction, as the most prominent trigger for their Desire to Medicate is the Anxiety produced by their Need to Get to the Bottom of Things that are Forbidden to them. Strong Scorpio is a good indicator that a person’s Forbidden Genius lies in sophisticated Research of Private Investigation.
That’s the gist of what we would tell any Scorpio, or anyone with a strong Pluto, in a reading.
So, which planets are we talking about? Ixion (Forbidden Genius), Quaoar (Survival Instincts), Ceres (Sustainability), Klotho (Plotting a New Timeline), and Vertex (Intuition) are all at the Midpoint of Scorpio, which just happens to be (there go those Coincidences again!) where Transiting Klotho and Sappho (Starting a New Timeline based on Self-Love) happen to be sitting as we speak, making their T-Square to the 7 August Full Moon.
Whoa, this is Big. The Midpoint of Scorpio is one of the Four Horsefolk of Ego Death, so we probably have a case of chronic Self-Attack (that is Ego-Attack, not Soul-Attack). Sir Self-Lance-a-Lot. All very strongly Lit Up this week. So we’d prescribe a strong ongoing dose of Poor-Sweethearts. Can we even interpret a Klotho-Sappho Transit, Square to a Full Moon, sitting on a natal Ixion-Quaoar-Ceres-Klotho-Vertex Stellium?
Oops, have to interrupt again. A Stellium (three or more planets in the same place) isn’t easy. What would we tell someone with a Stellium in their chart, to help them Learn to Appreciate their Uniqueness?
Well, the Culture we grow up in has certain Differentiations that are an integral part of the Culture. For instance, Boys are different from Girls, and never the twain shall meet. What fireworks have been going on the USofA when that Differentiation is Challenged! The youngsters understand that they’re both just People, but the Differentiation is so ingrained in the brains of the oldsters that they fight it all the way to the “Supreme” Court, and Obsess (!) on it.
So when we have two or more planets in the same place, we don’t know the Difference. Folks who start a Life when Mars and Venus are Conjoined (in or close to the same Degree) have no idea that there’s any Difference at all! So they have a difficult time Relating to, and Being Related to by, anyone who’s Obsessed with the Difference, because their brains are wired very differently.
And that’s just two planets. With a five-planet Stellium, the difficulty of Communicating with Others is multiplied many times. To start with, only 2.5% of us will have a 5-planet Stellium (using 45 planets), so we can expect to be able to Communicate at all with one person in 40. However, what’s the probability that the next person with a 5-planet Stellium is going to have a Stellium that includes the same five planets?
Without breaking any blood vessels in my brain, I’d guess that would be something like 1/9 to the fourth or fifth power, or about one person in 60,000, although that assumes that the 45 planets are distributed randomly around the Zodiac, which is far from true. You could start a worldwide club, advertising on the internet to connect with everyone who started Life with a Ixion-Quaoar-Ceres-Klotho-Vertex Stellium. You might end up with just the people who were born on the same day and year as you.
And now you’re going to run into another problem. Very few of these people will have ever learned to Love themselves, even if their Stellium isn’t in Scorpio. When you meet a Soulmate, if your Self-Love isn’t Total, you’re going to Project your Self-Rejection all over one another, and end up hating one another, very soon. I once introduced two people with very similar, very unusual birth charts, Scorpios even, and they became housemates. That lasted about a month before they ran screaming from one another.
So until you Learn to Love your own Uniqueness fairly thoroughly, you may need to settle for non-intimate Relationships for a while. Look for people who are already Ascended or Enlightened, who may be able to Accept you Exactly As You Are, even if they’re not like you at all – they may even find your Uniqueness fascinating. There should be a reasonable number of those folks around. You won’t be their Onliest…
Since you are a shining light
There’s many that you’ll see
But I have to deal with envy
When you choose the precious few
Who’ve left their pride on the other side of
Coming back to you
as Leonard Cohen put it, but at least you’ll be Accepted, and you’ll get a taste of what it will be like to Love your Uniqueness, till you Lesrn to Obsess on Loving your Uniqueness.
Well, we know that this person, on the Soul Level, Intends in this Lifetime to Get to the Bottom of Self-Abuse (and I don’t mean self-pleasuring) once and for all (Klotho-Sappho). So they probably “hired” parents and other significant adults that programmed a good deal of persistent Self-Rejection (Ixion-Quaoar-Ceres) into them as Children. That’s how we do it – whatever we Intend to Let Go Of permanently in a Lifetime, we on the Soul level make sure we get a big dose of it, so we’ll Recognize it and be Motivated to Change the Pattern.
So, with Mars and Atropos on the Full-Moon Sun, it would be a fabulous time to start writing a series of Angry letters, that they don’t intend to send, to their Childhood Programmers, so they can begin Getting to the Bottom of their Abandoned Genius’s Real Feelings. We can Learn about Blame and Responsibility later.
Oh, did I forget to mention that Jupiter (Amplification) and Sappho (Self-Love) are also in Scorpio? So our friend is even more Determined to break out of her prison of Self-Admonishment, as she has Chosen (on the Soul level) to Obsess about her Amplified Desire for Self-Love!
Did someone say Obsession? Damn Right! Obsessed with this prison-break, and for damn good reasons!!! It’s a central theme of their Soul-level Plan for the Lifetime! So come Hell or High Water, they need to start Obsessing (and PIAVAing) on Learning how to Celebrate Obsession like it is the Incredible Gift to themselves that it truly is! Set a timer, and Celebrate Obsession at least once an hour, every day.
Okay, with the preliminaries out of the way we can get down the the meat of the issue. Their Ixion-Quaoar-Ceres-Klotho-Vertex Stellium is Opposed by Chiron (Despair and Miracle). That’s like a dagger held by her Programmers, slicing little chunks out of her skin constantly. To move from Despair to Miracle we need to Empathize with our Despair. “You Poor Sweetheart, you really Feel Down on yourself, don’t you.” Now, we know that Changing the Subject (which gets the mind and old Karmic Patterns out of the way so they don’t re-up the Despair) won’t be easy – that’s the whole issue, isn’t it.
So we can try building a strong practice of Tapping (YouTube link above). “Even though I’m Obsessing about this Despair, I deeply and completely Love and Accept myself.” Measuring the Intensity of Feeling (0 to 10) before and after each of many Iterations will be important – as long as you’re getting any reduction, keep Tapping, till you get close to zero. If you aren’t getting reduction, try alternating with Poor-Sweethearts, or Dancing, or doing anything Different. This is Multi-Lifetime stuff, so you need to be Obsessive about working on it, but then, that’s your specialty, eh?
Phew, that’s a lot, isn’t it. Are we done? Not a chance. Mercury, of all people, makes a T-Square across the Opposition between the Ixion-Quaoar-Ceres-Klotho-Vertex Stellium and Chiron. Now we have to interrupt again, since T-Squares are quite difficult, so we have to give our standard speech about how to Love a T-Square…
A T-Square is like a graduate seminar. We Expect to be able to “get it right” once in a while, so we can feel halfway Competent. But with a T-Square, there is no “getting it right.” In a graduate seminar there are no right Answers, only clever and relevant Questions. No matter how long anyone Lives a T-Square, they’ll never Feel Satisfied about it, until they Learn to Appreciate that on a Soul level they’ve adopted this Issue as a Lifetime Learning Opportunity, and each time it arises – which is likely to be daily – they’ll be working on a new, more subtle and broader, version of the same Lesson.
It’s pass/fail, and you only pass when you Recognize that this is your Lifetime Study Project, and Honor yourself for the Fact that you actually know a Hell of a lot more about it than most anyone else on the Planet, because you wrestle with it daily. You begin to Change a “bad” Habit by Noticing that you’re Doing it again, and Congratulating yourself for Noticing rather than Cursing yourself for Doing it again – substituting positive reinforcement for negative reinforcement, because reinforcement is cumulative.
So when you Notice that you’re working on that Issue again, Congratulate yourself for looking at it from yet another Perspective, and Honor yourself for all of the Perspectives you’ve already Discovered, rather than Indulging your Frustration at not getting it Right yet again, you’ll shift your Perspective toward what is otherwise one of your greatest Frustrations.
That’s what T-Squares are all about. Now, what about this Mercury T-Square? Well a Mercury T-Square (until you make the shift we just talked about) means that your mind is always picking at you. Anxiety ‘R’ Us, and it’s not just Worry, it’s Negative Self-Talk. So we have to Learn to Notice that we’re Doing Negative Self-Talk again, Congratulate ourself for Noticing, and Honor ourself for how Skilled we’ve actually become at dealing with Negative Self-Talk.
If a friend complained to you about their Negative Self-Talk, I’ll bet you could give them a thousand suggestions for dealing with it. You’re a World Expert on Negative Self-Talk. You could write best-sellers about it. You need to Honor yourself for that, even if it doesn’t Feel True at first. I guarantee you, it is True.
Now, we’re dealing with Negative Self-Talk about Chiron Opposite a Ixion-Quaoar-Ceres-Klotho-Vertex Stellium, which isn’t chicken-feed. With Quaoar-Ceres-Klotho-Vertex as part of your Stellium, a deep part of you (with strong Scorpio, Diving Deep is one of your greatest Skills) knows Intuitively (Vertex) that your Survival (Quaoar) is Assured (Ceres) once you Begin (Klotho) to Love Yourself Exactly As You Are. You just don’t know where to start because no one has ever Mirrored your True Self to you.
Then we add Ixion. We have to interrupt again for our Learn-to-Love-Ixion speech…
Ixion was the Bad Boy of the Greek Pantheon, who was basically a sociopath who thought all rules applied to everyone else (like that fellow in the house that’s pained white and being remodeled). Well, talk to any Accomplished Genius, and they’ll tell you they didn’t get there by following other people’s rules. To live Genius you need to break as many rules as you can get away with.
But you’ll always be condemned for it. So, not actually being a sociopath, you’ll need to develop a thick skin about Criticism from Others. And with your parents and other Programmers probably very Critical people, you’re going to have a lot of Olde Reactions to Criticism, and probably “Leave your Body” (space out) when someone starts Criticizing you. Well, you probably want to enlist some friends and Act Out a thousand Criticism scenarios, till you can Stay Present with Yourself when being Criticized, and Learn when Defending yourself is a waste of time that’ll just get more Criticism, and How to Defend yourself when it’s worth it (ie, with a Relationship you Want to Keep).
In Cultures that Value Conformity, Ixion is Rejected out of hand. That’s why we refer to that part of ourself as our Forbidden or Abandoned or Pathological Genius, and refer to Recovery of that part of ourself as our Genius Project. It’s a Big Project for everyone, but especially important for you. Eventually, once you become the World’s foremost Psychoanalyst, or the World’s most Unique Artist who Communicates with parts of people that have never been Communicated to before ever, you’ll understand how Unique you are, and Honor it.
But meanwhile, there’s homework to be done, because you’re probably in the Habit of giving your Unique Genius more Negative Self-Talk than anyone. So you’ll have to Learn toNotice that you’re Doing Negative Self-Talk about your Unmirrored Uniqueness again, Congratulate yourself for Noticing, and Honor yourself for how Skilled you’ve actually become at dealing with Negative Self-Talk about your Uniqueness.
Lots of work ahead, but at least now you have a curriculum.
What’s that? Oh, we aren’t quite done? Oh yeah, remember that Jupiter-Sappho in Scorpio? Well, it happens to be in a “Grand Cross,” Opposite a Stellium of Chaos (Unlimited Potential), Sedna (Fear), Chariklo (Self-Confidence), and Moira (Choosing Consciousness), with Sedna Stationary (Strong), Square to a Stellium of Sun (your Essence), Atropos (Endings), and Mnemosyne (Memory), which is in turn Opposite to a Stellium of Orcus (Breaking Vows), Hylonome (Escaping from Archetypes), and Lachesis (Duration), with Lachesis Exactly Stationary (very Strong). All this is actually enormously Positive, but there’s a lot in it that needs to be Learned to Love.
We won’t take that up now, we’ll save it for after you’ve digested some of the earlier homework, which is more than ample. The earlier homework is Lit Up Bigtime by the Full Moon, so it’s a more current assignment anyway. This later Grand Cross is Lit Up only by the Transiting Conjunction of Varuna (the Life Force) and Veritas (Truth), which is actually quite a lot, but nothing compared to how much your Mercury T-Square and Ixion Stellium are Lit Up.
Oh, also, when you’re ready, remind me to talk about the “Vacancy” to your Mercury T-Square.
And, once you’ve started on the earlier homework in earnest, we can talk about that friend you mentioned, and see how they might, by virtue of their own birth chart, inadvertently trigger either your Mercury-Chiron-Ixion-et al T-Square or your Lachesis-et al Grand Cross, or both. We’ll also need to cover Blame and Responsibility then.
Oh, and since Pluto (Transformation) is similar to Scorpio, and likely to be involved in Obsession, we should eventually look at that too. It’s after all Conjunct Saturn (The Most Important Thing), so that’s a strong indication that Obsession is actually your Greatest Skill, you just need to Learn to Love it. Also, Pluto-Saturn makes a T-Square across your Nodes (Why You Took This Lifetime), so that’s another indicator that This is the Lifetime you Chose, on the Soul level, to become the World’s greatest Expert on Obsession, and once and for all Let Go of your Ego Attachment to it, and Let Go of your Rejection of Obsession and of yourself.
Plus, Nessus (Abuse and Privilege) is on your North Node (Your Mission in the Lifetime) and Moon-Venus (Your Instincts and Values) is on your South Node (The Karmic Impediments to your Mission that you Chose on the Soul level to help you Accomplish your Mission in the Lifetime, which Impediments happen to hide the Skills you need to Accomplish your Mission), further complicating this T-Square.
That’s a lot, but Remember that, as the Findhorn Transformation Game says, the Hardest Assignments are only given to the Best People.
“A former ‘bestie’ who has (after my inner enlightenment) shown herself to actually be a ‘frienemy,’ posted a pic of her hand in a splint, held in the position of an ‘F-you’ finger, which seems synchronous enough on its own, but when I send a friendly note of commiseration, she replied, ‘There needs to be someone incapacitated at all times — your turn next!’
“It felt as close to a curse as I’ve experienced.
Definitely! Sad that someone has an Unconscious Belief in Suffering, but not I suppose unusual.
“My husband, a lovely practical man who is able to shed others’ energies like a duck, laughed and asked why I even engaged her. Good question. I suppose I am still looking to heal something there.
“But my larger query is about dealing with a situation stronger than ‘taunts’ — what appears to be active desire to wish ill on me.
“Seems very Ixion, no? Wasn’t he the one who gave something poisoned to Hercules’ wife that she then unwittingly gave him and caused his death?”
That was Nessus, while he was dying after Hercules wounded him to revenge Nessus’s attempted rape of Hercules’ wife. What tangled webs we weave, eh?
“My current strategy is to imagine a beautiful mesh dome of healing light and mirrors to bounce any negative energies back at the sender, but I’m left feeling so sad. Why this waste? But there are likely themes of envy and competition and narcissism that I avoided seeing, out of wanting to “see the best” in her.
“So I am working hard to keep remembering that ‘I Walk in Light.’
“My inner Innocent wants to focus on the Good in the World, but there is a rising Inner Warrior who is sharpening her blades — standing ready to cut all ties. Or at least polishing my shield to reflect back Medusa’s image to her.
“Also interesting how subtle threads can be plucked to create a resonance or tone that others cannot hear, but feel clear to me.
“In any case, I responded with lightness and humor that ‘no thanks — my card’s already been punched, but I was sure she had a full card that could be redeemed for perhaps a free lightning healing!’
As Alan Watts said, “It’s harder to Let Go of our Good Karma, than it is to Let Go of our Bad Karma. Bear in mind that the Greek Myths were stories of how the Patriarchs defeated Nature, allowing the Illusion that She can be controlled, which Illusion has been busy destroying the Planet ever since. You can see Medusa acting through the Superstorms that have been plaguing the Planet since Global Warming started to become extreme – and the Patriarchy’s impotence in its Reactions. The appropriate Response is to Empathize with Medusa.
Yes, by all means
“a beautiful mesh dome of healing light and mirrors to bounce any negative energies back at the sender,”
though it’s useful to remember that “negative” only has meaning with regard to the Receiver, as “positive” and “negative” only exist operationally. That means that they aren’t absolutes, but relative to the purpose and context at hand. Maybe you could instead think in terms of Energies that don’t Serve the Highest Good of All, or the like, rather than “negative” Energies. That’s nit-picking, but it might be useful.
“But I’m left feeling so sad. Why this waste?”
Yes, that’s your Resistance to having to do the Work which you Believe others should be doing – and in a Healed World they would be. But this World needs Healing, and we’re self-appointed. This is why we above all need Persistence, because we were programmed to Resist healing the holes in our Auras. That’s how the significant adults in our childhood controlled us. So that Feeling of Sadness is your key to knowing you’re on the right track. Shift your Attention from the Sadness in your Emotional Body to the Fullness you Feel in your Energy Body when you have your Mesh Dome of Mirrors in place. Adjust your MirrorMesh till you Feel the Fullness.
Your Sadness needs a “You poor Sweetheart, you believe it’s Sad to have to Protect yourself, don’t you” and some hugs, as you fill your Energy Space with Light. Attend to the Edge between Sad and Safe. I think the two of you will prefer Safe. Natally, you have a Finger of God (Pay Attention!) pointing at Nessus, with Ixion (Orphaned Genius), Lilith (Self-Sovereignty), and the North Node (Mission) closely involved. Nessus represents Power-Over.
So absolutely sharpen your Inner Warrior’s blades. You are a highly tuned Sensor for Power-Over, but your Vertex (Intuition) Squares your Nessus. Our Squares represent Mastery through Challenge, and we of course focus on the Challenge, since it’s always demanding our Attention. Only by carefully comparing Who We Are to Who Others Are can we see the Mastery. Power-Over is how the Patriarchy operates, how it’s destroying the Planet.
It’s not necessarily your duty to blow the whistle on Power-Over publicly, but in settings where the clients were Open, you could be an effective business consultant helping organizations overcome Power-Over problems in their internal Relationship Dynamics. There are actually businesses out there that are trying to figure out how to Survive AND adapt to greater principles than Exploitation and Quarterly Profits.
jbuss Astrology 