Archive for the ‘Lilith’ Category

Kundalini Rising II

March 6, 2016

The Elves of Lily Hill Farm don’t mince words (Penny Kelly, p.191)…

“Humans are at the top of nature’s heap.  Ye humans need everything that’s in the heap under ye to support yer form of life.  But nothing in the heap needs that human at the top.  Ye humans are the most expendable of all – yet ye all think yer indispensable!  

“Picture the security of the human race right now as one lonely person riding a unicycle across a tightrope that is tied between two poles anchored in soup bowls floating on an ocean,  Yer position is tenuous – at best.”

But there be Hope (Genia Haddon, Body Metaphors, pp.108-9)…

“Neither participational consciousness [the original Matriarchy] nor differentiating objectivity [the Patriarchy] characterizes this third model.  It [the Age of the Yang Feminine – the Age of Lilith] encourages a ‘both-and’ way of looking at things.  Although uncommon in the Patriarchal Age, this sort of consciousness is sometimes experiened in mystical states or with the aid of psychedelic drugs.  

“A pair of opposites that are mutually exclusive as seen by patriarchal, differentiating consciousness are no longer contradictory when comprehended by mentation that simultaneously holds awareness of various levels or orders of wholes.  In other words, this is a style of consciousness that is attentive to varying contexts and can shift from one to another, or even hold several in awareness simultaneously [Castaneda’s ‘Cognitive Dissonance’].

“In such a system, we should expect to experience life as multivalent rather than focused, contextually transformative rather than goal oriented.  Within the gestative system [Matriarchy], movement was contained and cyclic.  The metaphor for progress was natural, vegetative proliferation and succession of seasons.  Phases succeeded one another in a repeating pattern, like a circle, or like the snake biting its tail.  

“In the phallic system, movement is goal oriented and linear, like a arrow.  Progress is pictured as ascent achieved through competition and mastery.  In the exertive [Yang Feminine] system, movement is to be rooted in context and emerging out of it, like a spiral or helix … [in which] interleaved ascending and descending coils suggest the contexting of ‘opposites’ within a larger whole that retains their distinctions, yet transcends their opposition [the ‘Coin’].”

“In an Age reflecting the nature of the exertive womb [Yang Feminine] rather than the phallus, property ownership and exploitation would simply cease to be meaningful concepts, based as they are on patriarchal principles of separating out and power over.  It is beyond my capacity to picture concretely such a world based on exertive-world principles of egalitarian networks, contextual transformation, and holistic transcendence.  

“To appreciate how alien exertive-womb principles still are, try to imagine what sort of pattern would replace ‘ownership’ of animal pets by ‘masters’ in an age in which the dominant motif is no longer hierarchical. … These are the watchwords: context, egalitarian, transformation, multiple wholes, self-transcendence, non-uniform multiplicity, both-and simultaneity without loss of distinctions, network.”

Here’s an example of Both/And/And-that-too, from Robert Moss’s Dreaming True pp290-1…

“The philosopher of Science Thomas Kuhn observed that we get a paradigm shift when the accumulation of ‘anomalies’ forces the abandonment of old scientific paradigms and the adoption of new ones.  Dream journalists can contribute mightily to the emergence and understanding of new paradigms in science” by, for instance…

  • “Case studies of interactive dreaming that will provide mutually confirming evidence that consciousness is never confined to the brain.
  • “Documented and witnessed reports of dream precognition, telepathy, and other psi phenomena that will establish that these are entirely natural events and that our everyday experience is not the only engagement with time and space that is possible.
  • “Serial dreams in which we return to locales where we seem to be leading a continuous life as our present selves, but with some different elements in the scene.  For example: we may be married to a different person, living in a different town, following a different line of work.  Serial dreams of this type may provide strong experiential evidence for the ‘parallel universes’ hypothesis.
  • “Serial dreams in which we enter the situation or perspective of people living in other times or dimensions who are clearly not our familiar selves.  These experiences may be suggestive of our connectedness, in our multidimensional identity, with a vast family of consciousness in many time periods and frequency domains.”

The Eclipse Grand Cross is tight, spanning only three Degrees, 17-19 of the Mutable Signs (Pisces, Virgo, Sagittarius, Gemini).

In general, Angles between planets that are less than three Degrees apart can be considered to have a strong impact on the Present Moment.  Angles between planets that are less than eight Degrees apart will have less effect on the Present Moment, but will have profound impact on any project or Entity or Identity that is born at the time.  

“Orb” is the astrological term for the inexactitude of interplanetary Angles, but we prefer “Sensitivity” because how responsive we are to the Angles depends on how Sensitive we are to Energy.  The average Muggle might be hard-pressed to detect one Degree of Orb, while a Sensitive person could feel the impact of eight or ten Degrees even in the Present Moment.  We’ll all be much more Sensitive to any current-moment Angle that mirrors an Angle in our Natal chart.

Because we use many more planets, asteroids, dwarfs, and Centaurs than traditional astrology, for birth charts we try to keep our Attention directed toward Angles that are less than five Degrees apart.  Because we expect most of our readers to be Sensitive to Energy, we often use five degrees for Present-Moment charts as well.

Exceptions arise when Angles adjoin one another.  For instance, the Total Solar Eclipse occurs at 19 Degrees of Pisces, two Degrees from Chiron at 21 Degrees, and three Degrees from the South Node at 22 Degrees.  But Ceres sits at 16 Degrees, three Degrees on the other side of the Eclipse.  So we have a choice: we can interpret Eclipse-Chiron-South Node and Eclipse-Ceres as two distinct relevant Energies, or we can read Ceres-Eclipse-Chiron-South Node as one Stellium and one Energy.  To be thorough, we should do both, that is, read all three.

So now we’ve stretched from 17-19 Degrees to 16-22 Degrees, sevan Degrees of Separation.  Still well within traditional astrology’s span for a birth chart.  Lilith is also at 22 Degrees, so this allows our Grand Trine and Kite, since Pallas, like Saturn, is at 17 Degrees.  Haumea is very Conjunct Lilith, but at 24 Degrees.  We can’t ignore Haumea’s promise to Rebirth Lilith, but this brings us to 17-24 Degrees, and 16-24 if we  include Ceres, which is hard to exclude when the Ceres-Saturn Square is only half a Degree from being Exact.  While this seems like way too much slop for Present-Moment consideration, we can’t ignore the interconnections.

So far we have involved planets in Pisces (Ceres-Eclipse-Chiron-South Node), Aquarius (Pallas), Sagittarius (Saturn), Libra (Lilith-Haumea), Virgo (Jupiter-North Node), and Gemini (Chaos).  Uranus-Eris at 19-23 of Aries makes our Kite into five-sixth of a Grand Sextile, and the asteroid Klotho at 17 Leo completes it.

Klotho is one of the “Fates” – Klotho cuts the fabric from which Lifetimes are woven, Lachesis measures out the length of a Lifetime, and Atropos cuts the chord when that length is reached.  Their mother Moirai completes the foursome.  

It’s important to remember that Fate and Free Will, as a Duality, cannot be properties of the Universe at Large, as the Universe at Large is Multifarious.  Duality does happen to be a signal property of the Observing Human mind, however, so we interpret Fate as a philosophical issue, not an Existential issue.  It is striking, though, how often astrology seems to Teach us about what’s going on, as if our Co-Creations have long been mapped out by the Stars, as if the best outcome we could hope for from a Lifetime would be an Oscar.

We’re fond of saying that if we use Senses and Skills beyond the intellect, or if we desire to peer into the Unconscious, there is no Contradiction, only Paradox.  In most cases that’s giving the mind more credit than it deserves, but it’s certainly a valid Perspective.  So we could profitably view the Question of Fate and Free Will as a Paradox.  In fact, we can even look at it through Genia’s Yang-Feminine Perspective as a case of “both-and simultaneity without loss of distinctions”!  

How handy.  We’re being Rebirthed into the Yang-Feminine Age as we speak!  

We don’t usually think of Klotho as a heavy hitter, but completing a Grand Sextile gets our Attention, particularly with Haumea Rebirthing Lilith.  The combination means that…

This is a particularly germinal time for building foundations for our Role in the New “Fresh Violets in an Ancient Pottery Bowl” Culture that we’re Co-Creating.

Big revisions to our Cultural Zeitgeist were promised by the 2009 Neptune-Chiron Initiation, “Fresh Violets in an Ancient Pottery Bowl,” which we consider to be the astrological correlate of the Derivative Crisis that the Lizards quite successfully spun as a Mortgage-Deadbeat Crisis.  Genia’s comments are validation for what we’ve been talking about in this regard.

In a significant way, we’re “cutting the cloth” this month for our New economic and ecologic Persona.  We’ve suggested that major Commitments are better delayed till after June’s Eris-Uranus Initiation, since we can expect to meet whole new elements of ourselves then, but if we Trust our Knowing, there is a lot of preparatory work we can be doing that doesn’t involve firm Commitment.  And while New Moons are generally considered to impact the following two to four weeks, Eclipses are usually given a longer span of influence, often nine months.  So if we pinned on the Pattern this month, and wielded our pinking shears in July, we’d be in good stead.

Kelley Hunter usually reads the more traditional astrological symbols, while I stray into all manner of questionable nooks and crannies, so it’s particularly validating when the two of us walk down the same lane.  Her readings have been more mundane than mine of late, so we haven’t been linking to her newsletter.  On the other hand, she literally “wrote the books” on Lilith, and few folks are more in touch with the evolving Age of Lilith than she.  Her reading for this Eclipse mirrors ours, but of course as always adding much of note…

So we regard this Eclipse chart as a legitimate Grand Sextile, in addition to the Kite, Grand Trine, and Grand Cross – very Powerful.  The nature of a Sextile is Grace, as long as we provide the initial impetus to kickstart the process.  A Grand Sextile is about processes that feed on themselves and become virtuous cycles, like Genia’s interleaving helixes.  We may even be able to kickstart one of the Sextiles and watch it activate the other five!  Let’s talk about that in another installment.

I don’t want to leave this train of thought without bringing Pluto into the picture.  Pluto, at 18 Capricorn, Sextiles the Eclipse, and this Sextile forms the base of a Finger of God pointing directly at Klotho.  So it’s a good thing we included Klotho.  It doesn’t pay to ignore Pluto, or Eclipses.

Pluto represents that which Cannot Be Ignored.  I think of Pluto as a Powerful River, not in Space but in Time.  Paddling our canoe upstream is not an option; we’ll simply get pulled backwards into the rapids, if not the falls.  We need to ride this River downstream.  We can, however, steer toward one bank or the other, camp on an island, and since we can see where we’re going, pull out to portage around the falls.

The Klotho Finger of God tells us to Pay Attention Now to the way we’re designing the New Life that we’re Rebirthing for the Age of Lilith, to make sure that our New Life flows with the current and not against it.  The Eclipse-Ceres Conjunction reinforces this Directive, Asking us to Attend to Sustainability here.  

And to the other side of the Sustainability Coin, Sustenance – which means Letting Go of what’s no longer necessary – especially our Limiting Beliefs, which will be illuminated brightly for us with the Eclipse (which provides Illumination by showing us what it’s like without what we take for granted) on the South Node (which harbors our Held Emotions).  Penny Kelly spends about 90% of her book describing how difficult it was to Let Go of all the Resistance she had to Receiving Insight from The Elves of Lily Hill Farm.

The keystone in this Drama is the Initiation of Moirai, mother of the Fates, by Pluto on 10 March, at 18 Capricorn, “The Union Jack flag flies from a British warship.”  Rudhyar’s interpretation, “Protection provided by institutions in charge of maintaining order,” reeks of the Patriarchy, as Rudhyar’s roots were deep in European traditions.  

Our interpretation springs instead from the 1/1/2000 Initiation of Chiron by Pluto, “A flag turning into an Eagle, turning into a Chanticleer heralding the Dawn.”  The flag represents the old Loyalist status quo Ego, the Eagle the wide, inclusive Perspective of the Yang Feminine, and the Dawn of course the EnLightenment that follows.

So now we’re tossed back into the “Paradox” of Fate and Free Will with a renewed sense of Importance.  It would probably be quite accurate to say that astrology shows us our Fate if we proceed Unconsciously.  If we interpret the Squares to the Eclipse negatively, we’d Expect that because the Eclipse will cause us to freeze like a Deer in the headlights because there are too many Choices (Chaos), we’ll find our Future to be severely Limiting (Saturn).  

And I imagine that this will be an apt description of the Future confronting many of the Muggles that still suffer under the Illusion that their employer and their government have their interest at Heart, as the propaganda machine continues to work overtime to keep them convinced.  Ask your doctor if Climate Change Denial is good for you, it should say.  Ask your doctor if Globalization is good for you.  Ask your doctor if Glyphosate-saturated, mineral-deficient food-like substances are good for you.  If Death occurs, tell your doctor immediately and discontinue use.

I’m sure it’s an apt description for the poor blokes who’ve just been trying to survive the Drought and Turmoil in the Middle East, and for the Greeks being trampled by the results, after being wrung out by the Vulture Capitalists and Multinational Patriarchs running the EU.  We may not be able to divert the Pluto River, but we do have the option to Respond Consciously to the currents, to recognize that The Most Important Thing (Saturn) confronting us is Making Choices to steer our Unlimited Future (Chaos) in directions that promote our Deepest Desires and further our Mission in the Lifetime (Jupiter-North Node).

We still have quite a bit of material left in this Eclipse chart that keeps on Giving – to be continued!

Upper Limits

March 3, 2016

A Reader shares a recent Dream…

In a bank, with a long line at the teller’s window.  I stood in the line, but then began playing with my toddler daughter.  At one point she said, ‘Mommy, I think it’s your turn.’  I went to the window, but the teller picked up the check and deposit slip and set it aside and told me sternly, ‘Sorry, you have to wait in line if you want me to deposit this.’  

“This made me very angry and I told my daughter, ‘I will just take my business somewhere else,’ and went to take my check back.  But the teller said, ‘Go back in line if you want this back’ (very sternly, like she was punishing me for enjoying myself with my child and not following rules).  This made me really angry, wondering how she could treat me like this.  I said I would call the cops, that this is illegal.  I felt hurt, brushed aside, helpless. 

“This triggered, when I woke up, really deep feelings of deep pain and helplessness with my children when they were very young, how being a single parent (my husband traveled all the time, and when he was home he didn’t do anything with us, and would get mad if I asked for help), dragging my kids along everywhere, them not cooperating, feeling helpless when I wanted to be a good mom and yet didn’t know how to handle them, tired, despairing, helpless, hopeless.  
“The pain was so deep, and yet, I did not even know I had it.  I cried and stayed with the pain while intending that I see though it and let it go.  I did appreciate being shown this pain that I did not remember, as it was certainly ‘mine,’ historically.”
This is a perfect illustration of what we refer to as “Held Emotions,” symbolized by the South Node.  It’s likely that this is not the first Lifetime in which our Reader has encountered this Archetype, as it’s a variation on the grip of Slavery that the Patriarchy has held over Women (and most Men, actually) for several millennia now.  These are the things we Tap Out or otherwise Stand Still for in Step Three of our earlier Aim Higher post.  Our Reader describes the Skillful job she did in Standing Still for the Pain.  
This is an Archetype, an Energy Field that exists apart from us as individuals.  Every time anyone Stands Still (as opposed to running away or hiding again) for a hurtful Archetype, it weakens.  This is Sisiutl, the two-headed Monster that turns to Stone anyone who holds its gaze.  Standing Still and closing our eyes, the Monster comes closer and closer, and as we endure its foul breath it surrounds us, its two heads see one another, and it is Sisiutl that turns itself to Stone.
Our Unconscious Limiting Beliefs have their origins in “real” historical or Karmic events.  When it’s time for us to stretch beyond them – as it is now, BigTime, as we described in Aim Higher – we often run into a re-creation of those events, as if the doorway is blocked by a Black Widow’s web, with Her Majesty in the center waiting for us.  The re-creation may be virtual or hardcopy.  It works like Karma – it doesn’t grasp us, we grasp it.  So if we Let Go, we can Liberate ourselves and dismiss the Limiting Belief in the process.
Hidden behind our Held Emotions and Limiting Beliefs, are the Skills we learned long ago, but forgot we had because they were buried by the Pain.  Those are the Skills we need to accomplish our Mission in the Lifetime.  This is the Earth Game.  It’s not about Stepping off the Treadmill, that’s just a story.  It’s about melting these destructive Archetypes, one Sisiutl Experience at a time.  Eventually, someone will melt the Last shred of that Field, and we will all be free of it.  You can see a Death Rattle of this Archetype in the Antichrist who’s running for the US presidency.
Gay Hendricks refers to these as our “Upper Limits” – when things are going too well for us, we invent something to bring us back to where we’re Comfortable, lest we be frightened by our own Light and the realization that we are “Powerful beyond Measure.”  There’s usually no need for invention, though, as our Personal and Collective Shadows hold many Monsters that can help keep us in line as our small self.  There is seldom only one encounter with these Monsters – they retest us to be sure we won’t fall back into their arms.  It gets easier every time, though.  
Here’s Genia Haddon’s description of this Archetype (Body Metaphors, p.20)…
“Patriarchal culture greatly elevates the phallic masculine qualities, expecting a subordinate all-yin feminine to provide sufficient counterbalance.  But unless relativized by the presence of the testicular [yin] masculine plus both the gestative [yin] feminine and the exertive [yang] feminine, eventually the phallic masculine turns pernicious.  
“The exaggerated phallus becomes intrusive, rigidly erect and unbending, hard, harsh, domineering, coercive, invasive, exploitative.  It results in the raping of the planet’s natural resources, questionably intrusive medical procedures, the proliferation of penislike instruments that shoot bullets and missiles, perpetual striving for dominance by powers and superpowers, dependence on rigid doctrine in religion, absence of contextual compassion in the legal system, and so on.”
In Genia’s view, the emergence of the Patriarchy, where the Whole is an Individual, was as inevitable as the initial emergence of the Matriarchy, where the Individual was merely a unit of the Community Whole, with no independent Identity.  In the Matriarchy, our Reader would not have been alone in her “duties.”  In this Perspective, the Yang Masculine will eventually yield to the Yang Feminine, where all Dualities defined by the Patriarchy will achieve equal status, and both the Individual, and any Groups it joins, will form Wholes, Wholes of Wholes.
In the Mythology behind astrology, it is Lilith – Yindependence and Self-Sovereignty, that symbolizes the Yang Feminine.  
In our Reader’s chart, her Natal Lilith completes a Grand Trine with Transiting Orcus and Chariklo, lending great Grace to her Liberation.  Orcus is the Punisher of those who would Betray their Oaths, one of the original enforcers for the Patriarchy.  Orcus symbolizes the sort of Guilt and Inadequacy she felt about her difficulties with her kids – and the Transcendance of that same Guilt and Inadequacy.  Orcus is like Sisiutl, and will turn itself to Stone when we Stand Still for it.  And of course Orcus Opposes Neptune, so her Natal Lilith completes a Transiting Neptune Kite, symbolizing that her Work on this Archetype, while Experienced as deeply Personal, is in fact a lot more than Personal, a Wayshower for the Collective.

Heavy I

February 21, 2016

With so many planet clustering near the Midpoints of their Signs, the Full Moon features a couple of very large-scale  Configurations.  Let’s call the first one a Butterfly, in 17-20 Degrees.

To make a Butterfly, take a Quincunx Box – two Oppositions one Sign apart – and add a T-Square to each Opposition.  A Quincunx Box is driven by the Oppositions, but the foci of the T-Squares would obviously be dominating points as well, since they overlight the Oppositions.  Once we interpreted the T-Squares, we could say that the Quincunx between the two T-Square foci is the crux of the Butterfly Configuration.

The Oppositions are Jupiter-Chiron (Be Mindful that Discouragement doesn’t get Blown Up here; Witness and Embrace it, and it will be the Miracles that Explode instead) and Lilith-Uranus (How does your Olde Ego prevent your True Self from having Sovereignty over “You”?).  They’re joined by Unxes (Pattern-Breaking) and Quincunxes (Curiosity).  So we might see the Box as…

The Emotions may not seem straightforward here, but this Feels a lot more complicated than it really is.  What is it that your True Self wants, that You aren’t Allowing it to pursue?  The last thing we need is Confrontation between the Ego and the True Self – and at this time…

Because the Full Moon Opposing the OR10-Nessus Initiation will give anything Repressed a great deal of Power.  Even though it’s the True Self, it could easily arrive in the guise of a threatening intruder, if the Olde Ego isn’t willing to Grow on it’s own.  Remember that we’re rehearsing for an Eris-Uranus Initiation, where unflattering secrets will be thrown onto the table, in the effort to get us to clean up any unfinished Uranus-Pluto Yintegrity business.  Jupiter and Chiron are both about to Initiate the Nodes as well, so this is all about Karma and Mission – and Deepest Desires.

…this could easily be what occurs, if we don’t take steps to avoid it.  What steps?

Move to the Quincunxes – Lilith-Chiron and Jupiter-Uranus…

We don’t deal with the Unconscious using the same methodology we’d use to build a Fire or plant a Tree.  We don’t Act, we Allow.  We need PIAVA.  We need Questions on the order of…

Great Spirit, how might I Surrender Gracefully to my Higher Self, without being hijacked by my Fears and Discouragements?

I know, you were Programmed as a child to Believe that your Deepest Desires were Unholy, rather than urges from your Higher Self.  That’s the Programming we’re working with here, our Fears of Unholiness.  It’s called Karma.  Most of us also Learned that Karma can’t be Changed – hence our Discouragement.  That’s what we’re overcoming.

With dwarf planet Orcus Opposite the Neptune-Ceres Opposition, all of our Beliefs that our Deepest Desires are socially unacceptable are lit up.  With Asbolus T-Squaring this Opposition, however, Intuitions are available about how we can turn this around.  

It’s not a Question we’re seeking to Answer; it’s a Question we want to Forget for a while.  If our Ego or True Self don’t let us Forget, we need to patiently and persistently keep Changing the Subject.  Your Ego honestly doesn’t Know how to Answer it, and the mind can only screw things up more than they are; if the mind could Answer this Question, it would have done so a loooong time ago.  After a week or so, we can look back to see if the Great Spirit has provided any Insights.

T-Squaring the Lilith-Uranus Opposition is Pluto.  Transformation awaits us, and it’s not optional.  We will be operating more from our Self-Sovereignty in the Future.  What’s optional is how we handle the Egoic Disruption.  It might behoove to add a qualifier…

Great Spirit, how might I Surrender Gracefully to my Higher Self, Lovingly and Gently, without being hijacked by my Fears and Discouragements?

T-Squaring the Jupiter-Chiron Opposition is the dwarf planet Chaos (Unlimited Potential, not Disorder)…

The danger here is that we’ll be thinking waaay too small.  In fact, we shouldn’t be thinking at all – about solutions.  This would be an excellent time to fantasize.  Pull out all the stops.  What if anything you Want was easily within your grasp?  How would that Feel in your Body?  I know, you’d be bored to tears very quickly.  But how would it Feel for the first several years, while you were busy putting your Deepest Desires into motion, before you got jaded.  

And what about the belt, that big Pluto-Chaos Quincunx from wingtip to wingtip?  

We’re almost guaranteed to get Out of Control here.  When we do, we have to go with it.  Like turning into a skid on an icy road.  If our Actions or Words are Out of Control, once we realize it, we don’t need to keep “making it worse.”  But if our Emotions get Out of Control, it’s all the more important that we Witness and Embrace them.  Once we Witness them we can step back into them and Experience what it’s like to go Beyond ourself.  Not while operating machinery of course.  In meditation.

The Butterfly also features two Major Tricolors…

In this case Pluto-Square-Uranus-Quincunx-Jupiter-Trine-Pluto, for which our earlier Question about Surrendering Gracefully would work, and Chaos-Square-Chiron-Quincunx-Lilith-Square-Chaos…

If being Out of Control is Discouraging to us, we can PIAVA something like…

I wonder how I can Shift my Perspective to emphasize my Self-Sovereignty – if I had to please only Myself, I wonder how that would Change things.

Again, this is not a Wondering in search of an Answer; it’s an invitation for a Miracle to enter, once you’re looking the other way.  

The model for these PIAVAs is finding your car keys.  If you find them “where you last had them,” fine, no worries, no need for PIAVA.  If they went Walkabout, you need to Ask for them, then Change the Subject, put your mind and attention on something else entirely.  Next thing you know, you’ll find them in the Butter dish when you go to Butter your Happy Camper Organic Gluten-Free Toast.  If they aren’t there, keep Changing the Subject.

If they don’t eventually jump out at you, you’ll need to Pay Attention.  What did happen?  You had to call a colleague and ask for a ride to work?  How is that related to your car keys?  Does your job excite your True Self?  And how is it related to your Self-Sovereignty?  If you had to please only yourself, would this be the job you’d choose?  Some things aren’t easy to Change with Force; we may need Power instead.

This Pattern gets even more interesting if we drop down to include 16 Degrees.  We add Saturn, which Opposes Chaos and turns our Chaos T-Square into a Grand Cross.  Then we look at the Midpoint of Leo, and find the asteroids Klotho and Sappho, completing the Grand Trine with Saturn and Uranus, and making a Lilith Kite.  Klotho and Sappho together cut a new cloth for your Life, Singing the Praises of Love.  

There’s also a Klotho-Sappho Yod, on a base of the Chiron-Pluto Sextile.  Sextiles mean we need to take the first step, and it needs to be Witnessing any Discouragement that may arise.  “You poor Sweetheart, you’re Feeling Discouraged, aren’t you.”

We may also need to remember that Witnessing is Magic.  If “I’m Discouraged,” then I’ve Changed my name and Identity.  This is Identity Self-Theft, and it can be as difficult to Recover from.  If “I Feel Discouraged,” then I’m Experiencing an Emotion.  You’ll seldom be Out of Control under “I Feel”; you could easily be Out of Healthy Control under “I am.”  By itself, Witnessing is what Einstein was referring to when he said that we can never solve a problem using the same thinking that postulated the problem.

When we add Empathy to Witnessing – not just “I Feel,” but “You poor Sweetheart, you Feel,” we’ve shifted our Identity again, and our Identity is now Compassion, Compassion for ourself.  Eugene Gendlin wrote the ground-breaking book Focusing; in his PhD thesis he showed that it doesn’t so much matter what techniques you use for Healing, what matters is the presence or absence of Empathy.  Empathy Heals.

After shifting from I am to I Feel and adding You poor Sweetheart, it’s again time to Change the Subject, while we wait for Miracles.  As with PIAVA, if you don’t Change the Subject, you’ll keep looking at the same-old same-old, using the same thinking that created the problem.  At this point mind is not your helper, and it needs to be assigned elsewhere.  

While the realm of Possibility under I am and even I feel is Constrained, the realm of Possibility under You poor Sweetheart is Unlimited.  Once you Change the Subject, the Universe is a different place.  If you want you can look back later and see what happened that wasn’t originally possible, but you probably won’t.  You’ll be too busy Enjoying your new Universe.  No matter; the only important things are to Witness, Embrace, and Change the Subject.

By the way, Uranus will probably remain Lit Up through at least June, and when Uranus is Lit Up it’s folly to try to control your Sleep Patterns.  As much as you can, Sleep or Nap when you’re Sleepy, and do something Fun when you aren’t.  You’ll get a lot more done that way, and what Sleep you do get, even if it’s less than you Expect to get, will be enough.  Uranus and Expectations aren’t very good bed partners.


I Dentity – September’s Bottom Line

September 20, 2015

The Bottom Line here in September 2015 is I-Dentity.  Whatever it is that is causing you Physical or Emotional or Other Pain, it’s root is in your Identity – Who You Believe Yourself To Be, aka your “Ego,” though Ego is commonly used to mean Selfishness, not Identity, so the word isn’t very useful here.  Psychologically, the role of the Ego is to keep us Alive, so anyone you know who brags about being “beyond” Ego in that sense, is talking from the grave (which voices of course can be useful, if they really are beyond Vanity and Agendas).  You’re being Asked, often not at all gently or politely, to loosen your Identification with whatever is creating your Pain. 

“You” are NOT your Body; “you” Inhabit your Physical Vehicle.  It’s important, take good care of it.  Change the oil and drive carefully.  But don’t BE it.  Fender-benders are Painful!

“You” are NOT your Emotions; your Emotions serve to Guide you through daily Life, as long as they aren’t stuck in the distant Past.  If your Emotions are causing you Pain this month, it’s either because for some reason you are unable to follow their Guidance, or because they are not Relating to the Present Moment, but to some Past Trauma – usually both.  Focusing on your Physical Experience moment to moment may help you root out whatever blocks your Present-Moment access to your all-important Emotional Guides.

“You” are NOT your mind.  Mind is Dualistic and Reductionist; “you” are Infinite and Whole, whether you know it or not moment to moment.

“You” are NOT “your” Spirit.  Spirit is Energy, it does not have Boundaries the way Matter does.  If Spirit is bringing you Grief, it may be because your sense of Identity is not sufficiently Defined.

“You” are NOT your Karma, though of course we all believe ourselves to Be exactly that, or we’d all be Free.  That’s a tautology.

“You” ARE your Consciousness.  While the Edges of Consciousness are very flexible and Change constantly, its Boundaries do exist.  At one moment you ARE your sibling’s sibling, at another your Job, your Family, your Country, your Hunger, your Gender, your car, your lawn, your Relationship, your Addictions, etc etc.  All you need to Change Consciousness is Intention; it’s Changed already before you even think it.

Step out of your Pain by shifting your Consciousness.  WHO would you have to be, to be free of your Pain?  Would that be an attractive Identity for you, or would it cause other problems?  Do you actually WANT to be free of your Pain, or is it a Safe cocoon for you?  There are an infinite number of marks on the Wheel of Consciousness.  Keep turning till you find one you like.

Saturn is now in Sagittarius; The Most Important Thing is Letting Go.  There are a lot of other astroindications indicating this – the upcoming Eclipse on the Opposition between Vesta (Belief) and Juno-Lilith (Consciousness-Yindependence) just to give one example, not to mention the incredible Galactic Center Stellium (Taking Full Responsibility for Who You Really Are and Grieving the Loss of Who You Used to Think You Were).

You may use some of these words differently.  If your mind objects to any of these suggested Perspectives, you’ve found a place where you’re having difficulty Letting Go; it’s a Powerful clue.  This blog should be Useful for Opening you to New Perspectives.  If you regard it as an Authority of any kind, then shift your Consciousness by Intending to Be Your Own Authority!  You are anyway; it’s only a question of whether you should choose to accept the assignment.

August-September VI

August 23, 2015

ruby6124bpRuby, the Essence of Courage, here the Courage to Claim Sovereignty over the Self.

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Thanks to Heart Shaped Eyes ( ) for pointing us to Bethany Webster’s illuminating blog post on Emotional Labor

In addition to the Exposition of our “Comedy of Human Nature” Relationship Initiation, we’re also at a major turning point around our Yindependence, and Bethany’s post does an excellent job of exploring the implications of Yindependence, Yintegrity, and the Responsibility issues we’ve been writing about and which will be increasingly prominent as we move into September.

I’m seeing lots of Attention devoted to Jupiter moving into Virgo, Saturn moving into Sagittarius, Eclipses, and the Stations of the Inner Planets, and while those astroevents have important meanings, I haven’t seen anyone writing about the Makemake-North Node-Lilith triple Initiation that’s coming up in September…

  • Makemake Initiates Lilith, 1 September
  • North Node Initiates Lilith, 8 September
  • Makemake Initiates North Node, 16 September

All of which occurs at 2 Libra, “The transmutation of the fruits of past experiences into the seed-realizations of the forever creative spirit.”  The Cusp of Libra is also about moving from Self-Focus to Other-Focus.  The Lilith Cycles run seven to nine years, the North Node-Makemake Cycle about 19 years.

The dwarf planet Makemake was named after the Rapa Nui God who rescued the people of Easter Island after their island lost its Trees.  Makemake taught them, for instance, to plant on the lee side of Rocks, as the Rock would harvest Water from Fog.  Makemake’s discovery chart is all about Creative Manifestation.  The North Node represents the direction of our travel.  Not the destination, but the direction.  And Lilith represents Self-Sovereignty.

The Lilith-Makemake Cycle that we’re completing began in late November 2008 at 26 Virgo, “A boy with a censer serves the priest near the altar.

Significant Change does not occur while we are in Judgment about the processes we would like to see Changed.  Change occurs rapidly after we Acknowledge our old Patterns for the Value they provided.  It’s worth repeating.

Significant Change does not occur while we are in Judgment about the processes we would like to see Changed.  Change occurs rapidly after we Acknowledge the old Patterns for the Value they provided. 

What Value might our Self-Sovereignty have claimed from Learning obeisance to rigidly defined and rigidly hierarchical protocols? 

Yes, there’s the notion of getting very clear about what we don’t Want.  And the notion that, now that we clearly understand, from the inside, how the old obeisance works, we are much better prepared to reject the seductive practices of those who would steal our Power. 

Can you think of – or Feel – other Values your Self-Sovereignty may have claimed over the last seven years?

Whatever the shape of that intelligence, we’ve now harvested it, and the next decade is about putting it to work.

More September to follow…

Square Planets Up Your Nodes

February 21, 2015

mnvesu5222bpManganvesuvianite – the Manganese-rich form of Vesuvianite, named for the Volcano that decimated Roman Pompeii.  Vesuvianite symbolizes the Mother Goddess, Creator of All That Is, and her Power to Heal “Miraculously.”  It appears as a Miracle to the Limited mind; it’s everyday to the Goddess.  The Manganese clears away Confusion so we can see the Growth that’s hiding behind it and Embrace it.

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A reader asks…

“Can you talk more about those of us who have a planet squaring the nodes?”

Which is an excellent question.  It’s a similar situation for folks with planets Conjunct either Node. 

A “Square” is two planets that are separated by one fourth of the Zodiac; they’re near the same Degree but three Signs apart.  A T-Square is two Squares connected end-to-end, or two planets Opposing one another with a third planet halfway between them.  Both mean Mastery through Challenge, the T-Square’s Challenge being more Challenging than a single Square’s Challenge.

First though, let me address another reader comment…

“That discussion of squares/Tsquares got me – depressed – no, actually, I recognized that feeling as despair when I read it.  Your writings have taught me to recognize that feeling –  despair.  And unconscious despair.  I never knew what that darkness was.  It’s been interesting to note where, when, how often it comes.  That’s helped clear a fair amount of it to an extent…just recognizing it for what it is.  That post brought it on.  Condemnation.  I always thought squares were Mastery Through Challenge.  So there is no ‘never.’  Mastery comes.  Not just ‘getting it’ but MASTERY!!  I feel like they should be called Infinitely Perpetual Challenge then.  Give it up.  You ain’t getting anywhere.”

Well, Infinitely Perpetual Challenge isn’t far off – till you Change your Objective.  Let’s take any of us that have Squares to Mars or Venus for an example – that’s timely, with Mars Initiating Venus and Wabi-Sabi Stationary.  We don’t even need a Square between Mars and Venus, just some other planet Squaring Mars or Venus.  Those movie scenes and ads about Perfect Romance and Perfect Bodies and Perfect Faces are irresistible to us.  Pant, Pant.  And that’s the whole idea – it ain’t Real, it’s a Trance.  I’ll wager that every Relationship you’ve ever been in had some positive feature.  If you cut out each one of those boons and pasted it on your Ken or Barbie doll, you’ll witness your Mastery first-hand.  You just haven’t put them together all at once.

That’s actually a great way to move toward What You Want – list the pieces or characteristics of your Desire, check to see which ones you’ve already Manifested, and then work on the others.  When you get most of them checked off, list all the combinations – A+B, A+C, B+C, etc. and start working on those – you can Plan and Execute, or PIAVFA, or both.  Then if you need to, work on the triplets – A+B+C, A+B+D, B+C+D, etc. – and the quadruplets.  Sound too complex?  Hmmm.  Maybe it’s your Desire that’s too complex.  Maybe you need to Prioritize a little.

Let’s try a thought experiment.  Think about your unfulfilled Desire.  Now pick its two most important characteristics.  Just for the sake of illustration we’ll call them Passion and Security.  Sound contradictory? 

That may be part of your Frustration.  Contradiction exists only in the mind, not in Reality.  In Reality it’s Both/And; in Real Life it’s called Paradox, not Contradiction.  If we’re striving for two Paradoxical qualities that we Believe are Contradictory, we will be doomed to Infinitely Perpetual Challenge.  It’s very difficult to Manifest what we don’t Believe – this is part of the Powerful “Placebo” effect.  So the first thing we may need to PIAFA is that we Believe our Desire is Possible.

Back to Passion and Security.  Ever feel Passion toward your Desire?  If not, Imagine it (Feelize or Visualize or …).  Shake It Off, take a drink of Water, and then think about the times you’ve felt Security around your Desire.  You may not have met any of your other requirements, but you felt Security.  If you haven’t Experienced Security around your Desire, not even for a few minutes, then Imagine what it’ll feel like when you do.  (If it’s a Relationship Desire, think Friendship.)  Then Let It Go, Dance a bit, another drink of Water, then recall or Imagine Manifesting both Security and Passion around your Desire.  Add Belief if you need to.

Feel good?  Or are their Yesbuts squeaking in the background – or shrieking in the foreground?  Yesbuts can feel Frustrating, but they’re just information about what else your Desire needs.  A frequently Unconscious Yesbut is whether or not you Deserve to Manifest Your Heart’s Desire. 

Virtually all of us went to the same Obedience School, where we were given a biscuit if we got the right answer, and if we’re very lucky only fingerwagged when we got the wrong answer.  Lots of folks would consider it Sociopathic if you Believed that you just Deserved things without having to Earn them.  Well, you do Deserve to Manifest your Heart’s Desire, right or wrong.  If your Heart’s Desire is punishable by Life or the Chair, so be it, you’ll just have to face the music.  But that’s not about Deserving; it’s about what your Culture permits and how well you finesse it.

Okay, you’ve Shaken It Off and Let It Go again and danced around the Fire, and now you’re sitting there feeling what it’s like to Believe in and Deserve to Manifest Safety and Passion around your Desire. 

I know, they’re still Yesbutting you, but Imagine that Belief, Deserving, Security, and Excitement are all you Want, that they’re Enough.

Ahhhhh! – Wonderful, isn’t it!

No?  Well, that’s it then. 

Desire is indeed an Infinitely Perpetual Challenge.  The basic problem is that Desire is misspelled.  It’s really spelled M-o-t-i-v-a-t-i-o-n.  Now there has to be a Balance between Motivation and Satisfaction, or else we’ll never feel good about Life.  So what to do?  Well, we certainly don’t need to give up our Desire, that would be the equivalent of Death.  We might need to dial it back a little, and approach it one piece or characteristic at a time, or set intermediate and achievable Goals that we can Celebrate along the way, so we can enjoy the Journey and not just the possibly hallucinatory Destination.

But the real key to Enjoying a Square or T-Square is shifting our Objective from Desire to Learning.  We’re always Learning, so we can Celebrate some quantity of Learning (even if we don’t understand yet what it is) from every Experience.  So a Square or a T-Square is about Learning about our Desire.  Once we make that shift we’re free to Play.  Learning is usually Surprising – otherwise we’d already be Learned.  So we’re open to Surprise as well as Success.  We really can afford to Play with it, because when Learning is our Objective, the bigger and faster our failures, the more we Learn.

That is MASTERY.  You’ve actually experienced it in your Life, around lesser Frustrations, like Spelling or Story Problems or DiffyQ or Asking for a raise or maintaining your Health.

And in fact, with a Square or T-Square, you are a Master, because you’ve always been Motivated to Explore the Edges of your Infinitely Perpetual Challenging Desire.  Take Music as an example.  If you’re Mozart, you were a Master at Birth.  If you’re Salieri, you’ve been working your butt off all your Life, and he gets all the contracts.  But suppose you’re Vivaldi, and you’re trying to figure out whether you want a minor or major key for your concerto about Spring.  Mozart could tell you in a flash.  But Salieri would be able to tell you why you need a minor key. 

If you were depending on Mozart you’d need to ask him again for each Season.  The answer you got from Salieri would allow you to figure it out on your own.  So who’s the real Master – Mozart or Salieri?

This is Real, it’s not a rationalization or a PR trick.  You may need to start your process by Believing that it’s possible to shift your Objective from your Desire to Learning about your Desire.

Conjunctions and Oppositions are similarly Heuristic.  Oppositions Challenge us to escape Duality by recognizing that while the Heads and the Tails distract us from what’s really happening, focusing on the Coin will trigger our Intuition.  Conjunctions Challenge us to Accept that just because our Perspective on the World isn’t popular, that doesn’t mean it’s wrong.  In fact, the more unusual our Perspective, the more Powerful.  You may end up writing things that won’t be understood for 200 years, or that only six people on the Planet will grok, but the Value in that is immeasurable. 

Squares and T-Squares are members of the Fourth Harmonic, which is basically Mastery or Dominion; the Emperor.  But it’s the Fifth Harmonic that’s about Learning, so we must be wrong, eh?  No, we Master each Harmonic by adopting the Perspective of a higher Dimension.  The First Harmonic, Conjunction, is about Self.  The Infinitely Perpetual Challenge about Self is Other, which is introduced by the Second Harmonic, Opposition. 

The Challenge of Self “versus” Other is resolved by Love, the Third Harmonic or Trine.  The Infinitely Perpetual Challenge about Love lies in resolving Codependence, via Healthy Control or Dominion, the Fourth Harmonic – Squares.  We resolve the Frustration of the Fourth Harmonic by using the Fifth, Learning, the Quintile.  We resolve the Paradox of Inequality between the Student and the Teacher by moving to mutually respectful Partnership, the Sixth Harmonic or Sextile.  And so on.

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Squares to the Nodes

Okay, finally we get to the original question.  But I think you’ll agree that the detour was useful. 

We’ve been equating the North Node to Desire and Mission, and now we’re talking about Squares as if they represented Desire.  These are two different flavors of Desire.  A North-Node Desire is hardwired in.  Moving in the direction of a North-Node Desire produces the sense that we’re on the right track, even as Satisfaction avoids us.  North-Node Desires evolve without much Frustration; we don’t recall how different our current North-Node Desires are from our picture of it five or ten years ago.  The basic sense is one of Progress.  A T-Square Desire on the other hand is an unachievable chimera that we set up to Motivate ourselves.  It’s a picture of Perfection.  It probably hasn’t changed substantially since we were five or ten years old.  The basic sense is one of Frustration.

So, if we put them both together, Progress with Frustration, gradual evolution with our Perfect Pictures, the whole process can be very Confusing.  And we may not remember that Confusion is the first stage of Growth.  That’s probably the key we need to resolve a T-Square to the Nodes – remembering that Confusion is the first stage of Growth.

Note that since the Nodes by definition Oppose one another, a Square to the Nodes is always a T-Square.

There are a couple of productive processes for dealing with Confusion.  We can acknowledge it with Gratitude.  “Omigosh, there’s Confusion!  Thank Goddess I’m Growing out of that dilemma!  That’s Exciting!”  And Curiosity.  Unlike the programming we got in school, real Learning is always Surprising.  If we had any idea how a real Life dilemma would be resolved, it wouldn’t be a dilemma.  So acknowledging Confusion as the first step of Growth almost automatically inspires Curiosity.  And Curiosity, like Love, is Goddessly, as both eschew Judgment.  We don’t want to strive for Curiosity about how our T-Square will be resolved – because we’d get stuck to our Perfect Pictures again.  Curiosity about what we’ll Learn next about our Desire fits perfectly, however.

We come to the difference between Desire and Fantasy.  Suppose for instance that we crave Acknowledgement.  If as ankle-biters we weren’t Valued for who we really were, we’ll spend our Lives craving Acknowledgement.  We have a picture of how that might happen.  We might be “Discovered,” for instance.  That’s a very nice alternative to Earning Acknowledgement.  Once who we really are is Discovered, everything else will fall into place, and it will all be easy.  That’s how we know it’s a Fantasy – everything else becomes easy.  Fantasy is a Manifestation-killer. 

When we detect Fantasy we need to substitute Curiosity.  We don’t know what it will look like when we’re Acknowledged – we’ve never been there.  We know the Perfect Picture we daydream about, but our Desire is behind that Picture, not in it.  When that Picture arises and we recognize it (how can we not? – we’ve been daydreaming it all our Life!), we need to pull the cord next to it so it rolls up like an old-fashioned window-shade.  Behind it there’s a Wilderness, and it’s Delightful and Dangerous and Exciting and very Compelling.  You can’t Imagine what’s in there!  But doesn’t it inspire Curiosity!

So let’s take some examples.  Suppose Saturn, which represents The Most Important Thing, Squares our Nodes.  It’s never this simple, because many other influences are afoot – such as the Sign of our Saturn, and other Angles to it from other planets.  But we could have a Lifetime Frustration about knowing what’s The Most Important Thing.  Is it Learning new Skills or collecting boons by using the Skills we have?  Is it Love, or is it Power?  So we need to find a reliable way to move from Confusion to Curiosity around The Most Important Thing.

In Psychic School one of the first tricks you Learn is “What if you did know?”  When Duality wants you to do Either/Or and you aren’t in touch with your Intuition enough to understand how Both/And might work in this circumstance, you can Ask yourself, “What if I did know?”  Chances are you will have already rejected at least one answer to the question, and that answer will probably pop back into Consciousness.  There’s a danger here.  This is an exercise for developing your Intuition, it’s not your Intuition. 

The answer you get is an excellent trial balloon, and a great first guess about what’s The Most Important Thing.  It’s worth trying.  But it may only work for a few steps.  West might be the correct direction for the first three strides, but you need to be alert for when Confusion arises again, and Ask again.  The next four might be North – or West again.  If you decide that one direction is Most Important forever, you’re likely to end up in a swamp.  After you practice this for a while it will become your Intuition, and you’ll develop the habit of recognizing Confusion and shifting immediately to Curiosity.  Eventually you won’t even notice the intervening steps, you’ll just Intuitively know what comes next.

But it’s still a Square; you can never sit on your laurels.  It will always be evolving, and you’ll always be Learning more about how to define The Most Important Thing, on more and more subtle levels, till you finally realize that there’s no one you can compare notes with, because no one else knows as much as you know about it – you are the Master.  It Squares your Nodes, so knowing it is The Most Important Thing in your Life.  When you Celebrate your Certainty about knowing the Most Important Thing, you’re about to step into the muck.  Celebrate Learning more about how to discern The Most Important Thing instead.

Now, think back over your Life.  How many times have you repeated this dance, and how many different ways have you Learned for dealing with it?  Include all the ways you’ve forgotten that you Learned (what if you did remember?).  In truth you’re the Master of this Process.  There’s no one better than you to teach it to others, because you’ve Explored all the blind alleys and discovered all the thoroughfares.  And more important, you know how to find the mainlines that haven’t been discovered yet. 

The primary characteristic of any Square is a shortage of Self-Acknowledgement.

That’s another process for resolving a Square in any given moment – moving to Gratitude – make a list of what is working for you.

Or Jupiter – what if Jupiter Squared our Nodes?  Jupiter is about Fortune, Expansion, Amplification.  When Jupiter dances with your Nodes, your Mission is always foremost in your Attention.  That’s fabulous, as no one will ever be able to accuse you of not immer strebend.  But it’s never Enough, is it.  Jupiter’s the Great Benefic, but Never Enough is a bummer.  So Self-Acknowledgement of your Enoughness has to become your mantra.  You’ve beaten it practically to death, but Enoughness is your Mastery.  Now you need to Master Not-Quite-Enoughness.  Your Challenge is to Learn to feel good about Performing at 90%.  When you get pretty good at that you can try 80%.  You’ll be More Than Enough at 50% – you can spend the other 50% having Fun.  You’re already doing this, aren’t you.  That’s MASTERY! 

We just can’t Acknowledge that we’re actually Manifesting the Power to Serve Effectively when we’re the Victim of our own Unconscious Motivation.  Dominion requires the Ability to Respond to “threats” to our Healthy Control.  As long as the Power to Serve Effectively is our Goal instead of Learning to Use the Power to Serve Effectively, Frustration follows, because Life is a moving target and “those people” – who really are less competent and less dedicated than you because they don’t have Jupiter Squaring their Nodes – are your Teachers, Unconsciously of course.  You’re underemployed, but you won’t be able to leverage yourself into a position where you also have the Authority and Responsibility to Serve Effectively – and the rewards, until you Learn to Honor yourself. 

There’s still time to remember all of the little and big Successes along this course, and Celebrate each one.  They’ll feel burdensome until you reframe them from Frustration about Failure, to Excitement about Learning.  Buy three big sheets of gold-colored cardboard and a “Sharpie” permanent marker.  Take an hour each week, choose one of your historical Frustrations, fully Embrace your Grief about how your hard work was unseen and unacknowledged and even actively thwarted, and then Ask “What did I Learn from this?”  If what you Learned feels negative, Ask “What was the positive function of that?”  “What was one positive thing that came out of it?

When you feel good about that Learning, cut a trophy honoring yourself for that  Success out of the gold cardboard, and give it a title and an approximate date.  As you process each historical Frustration there will be too many trophies (it’s Jupiter after all!) to keep on your mantle or altar all at once, so keep the extras in a box.  Each morning choose one trophy to put back in the box, and replace it with a new one chosen “randomly” from the box.  Spend a minute remembering the Frustration you felt as you climbed that mountain, and find the Relief you felt when you Learned that Lesson.

What about Venus?  Venus stands for our Values, so you’re probably often at odds about which Value of yours to follow.  Having multiple Values is fantastic – no danger of becoming a Zealot, eh?  But boy, those Zealots sure look Satisfied, don’t they?  Compared to my Confusion, that looks like a Blessing!  What if being Multifarious was the Blessing?  It’s a Square, it’s always a moving target.  I think of a Spiral, where we revisit the same issue over and over again but with slightly different circumstances.  A friend and reader uses the metaphor of “an elevator which stops at identical floors, but different things happen depending on where your head/vibes/frequency is.”

But the constant about is this is Constant Learning.  Your Values are Universal, but for every moment a different Hierarchy of Values applies.  If you’re anything like the rest of us, you’ve been programmed to apply the Values that were handed down by your family heritage in every moment.  You’ll be Learning how to stop and reconsider every moment, so you can apply the Values that work best in the circumstances.  You’ll know when you got it right because there will be a short burst of North-Node Satisfaction, the sense that you’re on the right track.  Till the Square’s Never-Quite-Right Energy butts in again.  No worries, it’s just Confusion, the first stage of Growth.  Isn’t that Curious!  I wonder which Values apply here – Growth or Certainty?

The Centaur Nessus Squaring the Nodes?  Confusion over Action, how to meet one’s needs with finesse rather than force, and how to replace that Confusion with Curiosity and Self-Acknowledgement.  Passive Pacifism isn’t worth much.  A Pacifist who knows how to Embrace and Master their own need to Dominate is a Teacher of Value.

The dwarf planet Ceres would tie us in knots over what’s Sustainable, and beg us to replace our Preaching and Self-Abuse about it with frequent PIAVFAs about how to make it stick. 

The poster child of dwarf planets, Pluto?  Sorry, your Life Path is intense, and you won’t bargain your way out of it.  You’ve probably already been in and out of Addiction, as there’s no faster way to understand Control.  Your Hero’s Journey is the Heroin’s Journey, figuratively or literally.  So what if no one listens to you – you see the Future, and they don’t.  Let them stumble; it’s their Learning Experience.  Your Certainty is a hindrance, though.  See if you can reprogram your Trance to seek Curiosity instead – you’re the Master of Trance-Re-Formation after all, even if you haven’t Recognized it yet.

If it’s the Centaur Hylonome Squaring your Nodes, Grief is your constant companion.  She’s just over your left shoulder.  Don’t push her away any more; Embrace Her.  Once you let Her swallow you like Inanna was swallowed by the Sun, over and over again, you’ll emerge Surprisingly quickly, each time having gained deep Insight.  Be Curious about where Grief will lead you next, as it’s a deep service to Humanity and to the Planet.

Inanna’s symbol is the Grand Octile – the Eighth Harmonic is where we go to resolve the puzzles presented by Magic.  This Ouija Board Uranus-Pluto Cycle is about Magic, and you know what comes next.  You are a Visitor from the distance Future, come to try to steer us away from impending disaster.  Embrace that Perspective without succumbing to Certainty or rejecting your constant Grief about being Unrecognized.  Grief is your greatest Tool.

Ah, Lilith.  It feels Confusing only because you’re ahead of your Time.  The World is moving toward Yindependence – Universal Respect for Self-Sovereignty – and you’re the advance guard.  Let yourself be Curious about how you can best help move the Planet forward.  The Hero’s Journey is well documented; it’s up to you to document the Heroine’s Journey for us as well.  Starhawk’s Truth or Dare is a good starting place for you.

Then there’s Uranus!  Yes, there are deep mists between you and your Soul, and many false profits.  You can’t dispel Confusion with Certainty, it must be Embraced.  It’s all Metaphor, Both/And.  What will happen if you Surrender to Confusion? 

Anyone else wanting to come forward?

Portal 10.20-22 I – Lilith

October 20, 2014

IMG_1196An interesting Configuration; kind of a squashed Toadstool; a T-Square (Mastery through Challenge – in red) on a forklift, as if the green scissors could just lift the T-Square right out of here, leaving just the Grand Trine (dumb-luck Blessings, in blue).

* * * * *

A new Grand Trine

Our Mars/Centaurs-to-Lilith-to-Eris Grand Trine (Galactic-scale  opportunities to let go of Karma – or – I know it doesn’t feel good, but Congratulations!) has finally expired, using our traditional three degrees of Sensitivity.  This is the Grand Trine that began in the last few days of August, and was heralded by early September’s multiple simultaneous Stations near the Galactic Center – the Stations that would be likely to occur about once in twelve million times the scientific consensus on the age of our Universe.

But meanwhile, the asteroid Pandora has moved into Eris’s position, so our October 20-22 Grand Trine involves Pandora, Lilith, and Mars-Quaoar-Hylonome.  As the first human woman, Pandora in myth was sort of a parallel to Eve and Lilith.  But while Lilith wounded Adam’s Ego by not having the time of day for it, and Eve brought dischord onto the Planet by indulging Duality (which actually sounds more like something Adam would have done), Pandora was an explicit curse on huManity, created as punishment for Promethius’s theft of Fire from the Gods.

Now, if we translate this from the standard misogynous taint of Western Civilization, what do we get?  She was beguilingly beautiful, but that’s just the Magnetic aspect of the Feminine.  Like Eve, out of Curiosity, she unleashed a slew of Dualities on huManity.   The interpretation that makes the most sense to me is that Pandora represents Nature.  She releases – brings into Consciousness – a number of Dualisms, but one remains Unconscious, Expectation (usually translated as Hope).  Expectation is what allows us to learn, but it’s also what prevents us from seeing clearly, as we see not what is but what we Expect to see.

So we have Nature and Expectation teaming up with Yindependence and Action-Law-Grief to create a Big dumb-luck Blessing.  I’d interpret that to mean that we will stumble into all manner of surprising Delights by Acting irrationally.  How the devil do I get that?  As a friend used to say about Anger, “Don’t get even, get odd!”

The Law (Quaoar) tells us to Act (Mars) rationally or It will bring us Grief.  But Grief (Hylonome) demands that we follow our Heart, regardless of the consequences.  Jung pointed out that the Heart is where our Values reside, so following our Heart is actually acting rationally – pursuing our Values – but an outside observer would be unlikely to understand, hence our Actions would appear to be irrational.  In other words, the outside observer would be projecting Expectations (Pandora) upon us. 

What would Yindependence (Lilith) do?  No question – she’d follow the Heart.  Who is our most critical outside observer?  Our own mind.  So while the mind is telling us to follow the Law, the Heart tells us to follow our Joy.  The mind thinks that’s irrational.

* * * * *

And a New T-Square

Lilith, who turns out to be the Guide in the Grand Trine, is also the point of the T-Square – in other words,

We’re Challenged to Master our irrationality (following our Heart, or Yindependence) – that’s not much of a surprise, is it.

The base of the T-Square (which describes the impediments to Mastery) is an Opposition from Ceres to Sedna.  We can see Sedna here as our Loyalty or lack thereof – to family, to the Feminine, to our Values, to the Heart.

We’re Challenged to make our willingness to follow our Heart a permanent (Ceres) priority in our Life.

* * * * *

The Scissors and Tricolors

The shallow green “X” that connects the base of the T-Square with one side of the Grand Trine defines two Major Tricolors – Square-Quincunx-Trine (red-green-blue) Configurations.

The essence of a Major Tricolor is that, in this circumstance, genuine Curiosity (which is the absence of Expectations) about the relationship between the two principles at each end of the (green) Quincunx will open the door to the (blue) Trine, which will then resolve the apparent conflict defined by the (red) Square.

The two Tricolors are Lilith-Square-Sedna-Quincunx-Mars et al-Trine-Lilith, and Lilith-Square-Ceres-Quincunx-Pandora-Trine-Lilith.

The two apparent conflicts are the inconvenience (Sedna) of following what has Heart and Meaning to us (Lilith), and our resistance to giving first priority to our Heart permanently (Ceres) – most likely because it’s so inconvenient.  Folks are always asking us to Explain ourself, and it seems like we’re so often making it more difficult for ourself, rather than just “going along with the crowd.”

Bottom line, Portal 10.20-22 is all about Lilith – our Yindependence.

The two Quincunxes are Pandora-Ceres and Sedna-to-Mars/Quaoar/Hylonome.

Buddhism is devoted to the Pandora-Ceres Quincunx – How do we achieve Beginner’s Mind, overcoming our addiction to our Expectations to allow us to Sustainably see Reality for what it actually is.

Sedna-MQH is the classical “prisoner’s dilemma” – we are better off in sum when we work together, but each of us may be better off at the expense of Other if we maximize our own outcome instead of attending to the result most beneficial to the group.  That is, if we act as though our counterparty is playing Win-Win and they’re actually playing Win-Lose, we Lose.

We liberate Grace in this Portal by avoiding all Judgment about the motives of Others, and striving for Beginner’s Mind. 

No matter how much evidence you accumulate about what motivates the Significant Others in your Life, you have no way of knowing what’s Real and what’s Expectations.  In fact, you’ll be better off if you assume it’s all Expectation.  Even if you enlist witnesses to try to get independent views, you still can’t tell.  So each time you’re tempted to think you understand Other, Let It Go, whether you’re starting to believe they’re on your side or out to get you.  You want to preserve persistent Curiosity.

Strive for Beginner’s Mind by detaching your Identity from your thoughts.  That’s virtually an oxymoron, so what we have to do is set an internal alarm to go off every few seconds, and every time it goes off, we ask ourselves if we’re thinking.  If so, we say to ourself, “Oh, there’s thinking again.”  If we practice this long enough, we can develop the habit of hearing our thoughts as if they were someone else’s thoughts.  That allows us to follow them or not, liberating us to follow our Heart more often.

Ultimately, these two practices are complementary, and they’re both excellent approaches to Life in general, as well as being proven paths to Ascension.

* * * * *


There’s a sleeper here – the Saturn-Eris Quincunx.  We didn’t draw in the green line.  This tells us to Pay Attention to what’s Hidden, but avoid drawing conclusions, and stay in Curiosity.  Focus on the enduring Mysteries.  If we do that iteratively, it will greatly complement our Beginner’s Mind and Non-Judgment practices.

Aqua Full Moon Redux

August 10, 2014


Now that the Full Moon is upon us, I’ve had time to look at it in detail.  It’s obvious why Kelley emphasizes Saturn, which is asking us two things…

  • What’s The Most Important Thing for our Yindependence?
  • What’s The Most Important Thing for our Emotional Stability?

Emotional Stability is paramount if we want to be able to Focus on any sort of Manifestation, whether it’s Healing, Abundance, World Peace, or a fun weekend.  If we don’t have Emotional Stability we’ll Manifest a picture of what we’re actually Feeling – Fear, Anger, Grief.  Even if we’re Feeling Joy but not Stability, we’ll manifest a picture of transient Joy.

The Full Moon is Square to Saturn.  The two questions are represented by the Square to Sun-Lilith and the Square to the Moon.  Since the Sun Conjoins Lilith, our Yindependence is likely to be near the top of our priorities.

The “answer” to both is our Yintegrity, but it’s not like we just need to go out and splash our True Self onto the World.  Mystery is present; we need to Wonder how being True to our Deeper Self will respond to those questions, then step aside to see what happens.

Uranus makes a Trine-Sextile Bridge across the Full Moon Opposition; however, it’s on the other side of the Opposition from Saturn, hence the Saturn-Uranus relationship is a Quincunx – Curiosity or Wonder.  So the Sun/Lilith-Saturn Square makes a Major Tricolor with Uranus, and the Moon-Saturn Square makes a Minor Tricolor with Uranus.  With a Minor Tricolor, since the Grace arrives in the form of a Sextile, we’ll need to Act to start the good flowing.

In the case of our Emotional Stability, we’ll also need to take a step in the direction of Healing.  In addition to Wondering about how our Truth will Heal jittery or negative Emotions, we need to PIAVA the Freedom to set our Masks aside, or tell someone what we’ve been afraid to say.

There is a second answer to the Yindependence question, and it’s about Allowing Miracles.  Which means that we need to work on our Beliefs, especially our Unconscious Beliefs. 

Chiron is Quincunxed by Sun-Lilith from the other end of its Saturn Square, making another Major Tricolor.

Paul Gautschi models a fabulous way to approach this in

“This is too big for me,” he says, “so I have to ask God.”  Or Goddess, or Great Spirit, or your Guides, or your beloved Grandmother on the Other Side.  That is, PIAVA it.  Except in flashes of Insight, we don’t have access to our Unconscious Beliefs, they’re the fellow behind the curtain pulling the levers.  So we need to PIAVA to be advised about any Unconscious Beliefs that inhibit our Yindependence so we can then PIAVA to get them changed – Lovingly and Gently – so we can proceed to Healing.

Whenever you work directly with the Unconscious, always add “Lovingly and Gently” to your PIAVAs.  Otherwise it’s too easy to “get what we asked for” – with unintended consequences.

* * * * *

What’s the difference between Yintegrity (Uranus) and Yindependence (Lilith)?  Yintegrity is about Creating the space where we can choose to exercise our Want-Tos instead of our Shoulds.  Yindependence is about pursuing our own Goals and Values rather than giving our Power to someone else.  They’re obviously very intertwined. 

Yintegrity is alignment with our Soul.  Most of us “hired” (on the Soul level) the significant adults in our childhood to Program us to Believe, Think, Act – and even Feel – contrary to our Yintegrity.  The potatoes of a Lifetime – the meat is our Mission – is detecting and overcoming our Programming.  In many cases our Programming is a mirror image of our Karma.  In many cases pursuing our Mission requires overcoming our Programming.

Yindependence is alignment with our Inner Female.  Yes, by and large, women are more likely to be in touch with their Feelings and therefore more likely to be in touch with their Values.  But you can’t take that for granted.  For instance, you may believe that it’s important to be nice to people.  PIAVA to discover whether that’s a Value or a Should.

* * * * *

All of which describes a Trine Fez over the Sun/Lilith-Saturn Square. Here’s the T-Square and the Fez…

IMG_1048A Trine Fez is capped by a Semi-Sextile – the Twelfth Harmonic.  So we can encapsulate the Fez and resolve the base Square by Breaking the Pattern between the two planets in the cap – Uranus and Chiron…

There is a portion of our True Self which remains under wraps because we don’t believe it’s Possible to let it out of its cage.  We were probably pretty bummed by the censorship once, but then we just got used to the notion that we couldn’t do anything about it, and just put the whole issue out of our mind.  We’ve been repressing that bummer for so long that it’s just no longer part of our Reality.  It’s become part of our Mythology instead.  That’s just the way it is.

How do we detect our Unconscious Beliefs about what isn’t Possible? 

Start with your Deepest Desire. 

Why is it that you don’t dedicate every waking Act to it? 

What would it Feel like if you could do that? 

What would it take for you to devote just one Act per day to your Deepest Desire, starting with the safest Edge of it? 

What would happen if you spent six minutes twice a day where you did nothing else except imaging how you’d Feel if you were Free to devote every waking Act to your Deepest Desire? 

I imagine that several things might happen.  You might start to Forgive yourself for having a forbidden Desire.  You might start being more relaxed about things and more able to “be yourself” in general.  Your Desire may shift.  When our Desires present themselves to us, they do it in code. 

Our Mission on the Planet is really far larger than we can ever hope to understand with the linear dualistic mind.  So the carrot or chocolate bar or wine bottle on the end of that stick that extends out from our forehead is painted in colors that make sense to us from where we’re at.  When we get closer to it, it repaints itself.  We never know what it will morph into.

* * * * *

The Full Moon also contains a whole new animal – what we’ll call an Octile Fez.  It’s a Square Fez (Squares on the non-parallel sides), but instead of a Trine at the base and a Sextile for a cap, it has a Trioctile (Sesquisquare) for a base, and an Octile (Semi-Square) at the top.  It’s two interlocking Mjolnirs that provide Epiphanies to unlock each of the Squares.

IMG_1047The Moon-Saturn Square is the base of a Juno Mjolnir – Insight about Stabilizing ourself Emotionally comes to us from the Growing Edge of our Consciousness.  What the heck might that mean?

Let me review – what are The Most Important Things I’ve been Learning over the last several months?  Okay, there’s this.  And oh yeah, that.  Good. 

And what is it I’m anxious about right now? 

Hmm, I can see how the first two are related – whenever anxiety arises I can just remember the larger context of what I’m Learning. 

But I do Wonder about how the second one relates.

The other Square is from Juno to Pallas, with the Mjolnir focused on the Moon; Insight about which Boundaries we may need to tighten or loosen in order to find greater Emotional Stability…

If I try to grow my Yindependence, they’re going to be upset with me.  I Wonder how I can set a clean Boundary that doesn’t make things worse. 

You know, I may not need to be quite so reserved with those other people – they seem to like me and may be more accepting than I’ve been giving them credit for.  I should test that gently, to see how they respond.

So, can we summarize this Fez like we did the other one?  The base is a Trioctile between the Moon and Juno, implying that we can enhance our well-being by Adjusting how we Manifest.  What sort of Adjustment?  The cap is an Octile between Pallas and Saturn – it’s Important that we Realign our Boundaries and Reassess who we Trust.  It’s a Waning Octile, meaning we want to err on the side of Surrender more than Action.

Maybe I should just be more honest and direct with people, rather than trying to control how they react to me – then see where the chips fall.  I’d find out more about whom I can Trust that way, instead of trying to please everybody.  I think I’ll try that.

* * * * *

We’re left with a couple of Fifth-Harmonic Triangles…

IMG_1049The big one, pointing at Saturn, is two Trideciles across a Venus-Neptune Biquintile.  It suggests that…

One thing we’re Learning here is how to Walk in Beauty with Spirit.

The smaller triangle is a Quintangle focused on Ceres from a base of Sun-Lilith Biquintile Pluto…

We’re also Learning how important it is, and how to, make our Yindependence Sustainable.

Full Moon Yin Gate and Portal 7.5-15

June 13, 2014

stail5783bpSwallowtail Selenite, a Crystalline form of Gypsum or Calcium Sulfate.  The same stuff that the inside walls in your house are made of.  Like Feminine Power – often so subtle that it’s not even seen, but what would you do without it?  Look at those subtle colors!

* * * * *

As we’ve said about the Full Moon’s Yin Gate…

“The Core Issue is the Mysterious Relationship between our Soul’s Path and our Personal Mythology.  And the way that Mystery is Changing, as our Personal Mythology changes, and as our Soul’s Path evolves and adapts to the Choices our Ego makes. 

“This is the central Opposition from the Vesta-Ceres Conjunction to Uranus, the central axis of the Yin Gate.”

“As in any Yin Gate, there are two Subsidiary Issues.  The first is the Mysterious Relationship between the concept of Order in your Personal Mythology, and the concept of Beauty in your Personal Mythology.  Do you know what it means to a Native American to ‘walk in beauty’?

“One of the other Oppositions in this Yin Gate is between Venus and Saturn.

“And the second Subsidiary Issue is the Mysterious Relationship between the concept of Miracle in your Personal Mythology, and the concept of The Feminine in your Personal Mythology.

“The link is indirect, which we’ll explain in a while, but the third Opposition is between Chiron and a derivative of Lilith.  Derivatives were not reigned in after they caused the Worldwide 2007-8 crash.”

Here’s a picture of the Yin Gate


A Yin Gate is a Golden Rectangle (two parallel Trines with Sextiles between their ends, the blue lines) with embellishments – namely a planet that bisects each Sextile.  The two bisecting planets create back-to-back Fingers of God or Yods (the green lines) with the opposite corners of the Golden Rectangle.  Which means that there are three equally spaced Oppositions involved (the dark red lines).

In a Golden Rectangle, the two Oppositions provide the Energy, and describe any conflicts or Learning Opportunities that might arise.  But in a Yin Gate it’s the central Opposition that provides the Energy and intrigue, by virtue of the back-to-back Fingers of God.  A Finger of God (two Quintiles from a third planet to each end of a Sextile) basically means Pay Attention to this!

In this case the Core Issue is realignment of the Balance between the Yintegrity that we’ve been working with since 2012, and the re-examination of our deepest Values, which we’re in the middle of.

The actual Initiation of Vesta (our deepest Values, or that which we hold Sacred) by Ceres (Sustainability) doesn’t take place for a few more weeks, but they’ve been dancing together for a while now, so we can consider these realignments with our Yintegrity to be part of the Initiation, which as we said earlier was about “A child giving Birds a drink at a fountain: Manifest Form reconnecting itself to its overlighting Spirit.

* * * * *

Sacred And Sustainable

As it turns out, this re-examination of our Deepest Values is very profound.  Take a look at this intense ten-day Portal that spans July 5 through 15 – though we’re actually already well into the preliminary training…

  • July 5: Ceres Initiates Vesta at 22 Libra
  • July 5-6: The Moon crosses Mars, Ceres, Vesta, and North Node
  • July 12: Ceres Initiates Mars at 25 Libra
  • July 13: North Node Initiates Vesta at 25 Libra
  • July 13: North Node Initiates Mars at 24 Libra
  • July 14: North Node Initiates Ceres at 24 Libra
  • July 15: Vesta Initiates Mars at 25 Libra
  • July 16: The Sun Squares almost everybody from Cancer (the Sun Squares Mars a few days later)

As if any combination of the The Sacred (Vesta) and Sustainability (Ceres) isn’t important, the involvement of the North Node means that new parts of our Mission in the Lifetime are coming into Consciousness.  Mars brings Energy and Excitement into this Renaissance.  And the Moon manifests it from Potential into Form. 

These Initiations span the Gemini and Cancer Duads of Libra, which imply that we as Individuals and as Cultures have worked our way through Social Self 1.0, Social Self 2.0, and Social Self 3.0, and we’re embarking on Social Self 4.0…

We’re bootstrapping a whole new way of doing business with Other (primarily Other People, but also any Entity other than what we habitually think of as Me and whom we habitually Defend as Me, which for most of us includes the Planet).  We’re basically starting over in July, rebuilding all of our Relationships on a very different footing, one based on Compassion.

Social Self 1.0 was based on Reaching Out (Libra), 2.0 on Barter (Capricorn), 3.0 on Excitement (Aries), and Social Self 4.0 will be based on Nurturance (Cancer).

The feet of the Vesta-Ceres Finger of Yod are Chiron (Despair, Impossibility, Miracles) and Venus (Beauty in every sense of the word, including Coherence)…

We can expect two things from this bootstrapping – Elegance, and Miracles.  Be very watchful here and in July for any sign of Despair, Cynicism, Skepticism, or any sense that something otherwise important is impossible.  When you catch yourself in Doubt or Disbelief,

Cancel, Neutralize, Upgrade.

Let me repeat that with emphasis, because it’s critical for the Planet. 

Be very watchful here and in July for any sign of Despair, Cynicism, Skepticism, or any sense that something otherwise important is impossible.  When you catch yourself in Doubt or Disbelief,

Cancel, Neutralize, Upgrade.

There is something you Want very deeply.  Never give up on that; it’s one piece of the jigsaw puzzle called Planet Earth.  When you encounter any reason why it’ll never work, forget everything you know, quickly PIAVA Both/And, and Change the Subject.

* * * * *


The other pole of the Core Issue is the work we’ve been doing since 2012 (since the 1960s really) on our Yintegrity.  To review…

Yintegrity means doing what we feel like doing, moment to moment.  Yangtegrity means doing what we said we were going to do – the traditional measure of Integrity in a male-dominated World.  In order to live in Yintegrity we probably have to reduce our Commitments, renegotiate broken Agreements, and make Amends when necessary.  Avoid Explaining yourself whenever possible.

Not hard to see the connection between our Yintegrity work and Sustaining what we hold Sacred. 

The feet of the Uranus (Yintegrity) Finger of God are Saturn, and that funny little upside down “T” that we’ve drawn in the upper right corner of the blue box.  Saturn’s easy…

Saturn tells us that maintaining our Yintegrity – not giving away our Power or allowing someone we Love (or someone we don’t) to have Suzerainty over us – is The Most Important Thing.  We’ll be continuing our re-examination of the Sustainability of our Deepest Values in the context of our Yintegrity, not the other way around.

When there appears to be a conflict between Yintegrity and the Sacred, it’s your understanding of the Sacred that needs to be renegotiated, remembering that Now we see through a glass darkly.

There abide Faith, Hope, and Charity, and the greatest of these is Charity – there is no Love without Self-Love, and Yintegrity is the purest form of Self-Love.  With reduced Commitments, Renegotiation, and Amends, Yintegrity is also the purest form of Other-Love, as it eschews deception on all levels.  Yes, it sounds like Chaos when you’re in Resistance or attached to the status quo, but the status quo is Unsustainable.

So what’s that upside-down T all about?

There is no planet at the upper right corner of the blue box in the picture above.  This is the 18-degrees-of-Virgo Vacancy that will draft you into serving the Collective version of the Yin Gate if you have a natal planet or other “hot spot” there.

Okay, this isn’t really a Yin Gate – it’s missing a foot!  To avoid discriminating against the disabled, we call the missing foot a Vacancy, and invite one and all to fill it with a token from their Nativity.  True, but we should put it this way too.  It takes six points in alignment to make a Yin Gate.  When we have five of the six points, the Yin Gate is there in Potential.  We manifest it into form by invoking the Vacancy.  We can do that in several ways.

We can find someone who has a planet or other hot astrospot close to the Vacancy; they’ll be sort of a living key for opening the Yin Gate.

We can look for an obscure asteroid or a fixed Star hanging out there, and cast the implied meaning of the ‘roid or Star as the key that opens the Gate.

We can look up the Degree of the Vacancy, discover its meaning, and supply that Energy Consciously.  The Sabian Symbol for 18 of Virgo is…

A Ouija Board: the ability to contact deeper recesses of the unconscious psyche, and sensitivity to psychic intimations and omens.”   That certainly very much complements our work finding a Sustainable Sense of the Sacred, and dropping enough of our Masks to find our Yintegrity.  In fact, it’s probably necessary work for the task!  A prime purpose of the PIAVA process, embedded in the Pay Attention part of it, is to become sensitive to psychic intimations and omens – aka the Unconscious Surround that we haven’t differentiated into Consciousness yet.  Most especially our self-sabotaging Patterns.

When we write about the second element of the Full Moon chart we’ll see how incredible this actually is – the second element is dominated by a Finger of God and a Mjolnir (not just Pay Attention, but also Epiphanies) pointing at Juno, our symbol for the Edge of Consciousness.  And shitohdear, why does that Ouija Board sound familiar?  Because it’s the very degree of the Pluto-Uranus Initiation in 1965, the beginning of the Yintegrity Cycle we’ve been working on!

When we find corroborating evidence like this – several indications pointing in the same direction – we not only know we’re on the right track, but we know that it’s an especially profound process that we’re working on, as the Heavens are making sure we aren’t going miss it!

But it turns out there actually is something near 18 of Virgo in the Full Moon chart.  The upside-down “T” in the upper right corner of the blue box in the picture below is the symbol for a “Midpoint,” which is just a point halfway between two planets.

Midpoints are sensitive places in a chart where the Energies of the two planets are blended.  Obscure, yes (except perhaps in Germany where their study originated, at least in modern times), but also meaningful.

Earlier we referred to it as a “derivative of Lilith” – it’s the Midpoint between Lilith and Ceres.

These are some pretty fundamental Goddesses we’re working with here – Ceres or Diana, the Goddess of Grain; Vesta or Hestia, the Goddess of the Hearth (who was honored in ancient Greece before honoring Zeus and after honoring Zeus, giving you an idea of who was really important); and Lilith, the Goddess of Yindependence.  Nobody does Yintegrity without first learning Yindependence.

Feminine Power often works invisibly. 

Just as this particular representative of Lilith (we’ll soon encounter another) is “imaginary” or symbolic, Lilith is pulling strings from behind the curtain, through her Midpoint with her co-matriot Ceres.

The symbol we routinely use for Lilith Energy is the second center of the Moon’s orbit around the Earth.  The Moon’s orbit is an oval, and ovals have two centers.  One is the Earth.  The other is a place in the Heavens that we call Lilith.

There is a subtle intimation that you may not get your macaroni unless you respect Ceres – certainly it’s true that you won’t get fed psychically without seeking your Yintegrity.

* * * * *

Whew, that’s a lot!  And it’s only the first of four major themes in the Full Moon chart.  How could I summarize this?  I’d just say Wow!  Zowie!  This is Big!  If you’ve lost the plot, go back to the parts in red and burn them into your eyelids in a large font.

Breaking the Shell Lovingly and Gently

January 20, 2014

pycockWe have two primary Configurations going on for the rest of January, the Chiron-Juno Mjolnir, and the Pluto-Chiron-Jupiter-Pallas Mystic Rectangle.  Significant embellishments develop over the next couple of weeks – such as the Mystery School Chiron-Juno Initiation on January 25, and the Uranus T-Square across the Pluto-Jupiter Opposition that develops at the end of the month.  But the Main Events are the Mjolnir and the Mystic Rectangle.

The Mjolnir

The Chiron-Juno Mjolnir has Lilith and Vesta-Ceres at its roots.  You can think of these folks this way…

  • Chiron – they’re chasing you, and you run around a corner only to find that it’s a blind alley.  You’re just turning around and surrendering hopelessly to getting robbed and beaten mercilessly – when Spiderman rescues you!  And you thought he was fiction!  Whoa, that’s a teaching, isn’t it!
  • Juno – just who the devil are you anyway?  Are you a list of adjectives?  Are you a wispy and mystical Entity that sometimes acts in ways which causes some people to see you as an adjective?  Are you a Noun?  Or a Verb?  A Subject, or an Object?  Or are you a prepositional phrase?  Of a hanging preposition?  A work in progress?  Maybe a question mark!

Chiron and Juno are the apex or focus of the Mjolnir – this is where the action is.  The supporting actresses are…

  • Lilith – Don’t call me an adjective!  My roots are so deep in the Unconscious that if you make me mad, you won’t stand a chance.  Lucky for you, I don’t anger easily.  But I won’t hesitate for a minute to cut you out of my Life.  If I do that you’ll be nothing but a hollow shell.  Yes, thats precisely why you’ve been feeling like that!
  • Vesta – Cold out, isn’t it – and wet!  You’re hungry?  Lucky you, these are my specialties.  What?  You think you can warm and dry yourself by my magical fire, and eat the delicious food I lovingly cooked for you from weeds and dead animals, and then hide your Gratitude by calling me a Bitch?  I know that bullying Power trip, and it doesn’t work here.  Bruno, throw this lout out!
  • Ceres – Damn!  That glyphosphate burns!  And now Dioxin?  You guys are really pushing your luck!  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not angry.  I’ll just work harder, I know how to do that.  I’ll put all my nutrition into those weeds you’ve been rejecting, they’ll thrive in the places that you haven’t poisoned yet because it’s too barren.  I know you can figure out how to live on Thistles – you’ve learned how to cook my Nettles.  It’ll take me several million years to reseed those Deserts you’ve made by cutting down all the Trees, but I have the time.  Do you?

All of which we can boil down to…

We can expect some pretty drastic revisions to our Identity over the next few weeks.  One reader refers to it as being shattered, which is apt, because in order to grow, the Ego really does need to crawl out of its shell somehow.  If you were a master at pysanka, you wouldn’t need all the king’s men – could step out of your Egoshell, puncture it with a pin, suck out the innards, and redecorate it beautifully. 

The rest of us are more like Crabs – we have to crawl out of our shell (in the chivalrous King Crab, the male holds the female’s shell so she can crawl out more gracefully), then hide out while we’re incredibly vulnerable, till we can firm up a new shell.  Newly molted Crabs make undefended and very tasty morsels for hungry neighbors.

Or, in most cases, we have to crack the old shell open like a pinata – or watch terrified from within while someone else cracks it open!  Ego Death is no fun, but it’s actually easily identified and addressed.  Worst case, you identify it because it feels like you’re dying, or like you’d rather die!  And you address it by recognizing it and being gentle and loving with the process.  It’s actually easy once you learn how to do that.  Well, easier.  Still hurts, but not nearly as much.

Of course, if those I’d rather be dead feelings are triggered by Shame or Powerless Anger or Abandonment or Anxiety or any other nastily difficult Emotion, then it can be a huge challenge to just find the edges of the barrel so we can pull ourselves out of the regression.  When we regress into those feelings, we lose everything we’ve learned since they first overwhelmed us.  It’s not our fault – those are completely separate and isolated circuits in the brain.

We can PIAVA that we recognize our worst feelings as feelings, rather than as statements about the World and our failure to fit into it, but we have to do that before we get into the barrel.  If you know you’re vulnerable to being overwhelmed by negative feelings, but you aren’t overwhelmed at the moment, then PIAVA that you learn to recognize them and heal them.  I guess it would be helpful to do that even if you are overwhelmed.

But mostly we just have to practice, practice, practice NOT getting completely overwhelmed by self-sabotage.  If we can do it once, we’ve got a toehold.  That Shame or Abandonment is a sealed chamber, with no exit.  We need to somehow step outside of it long enough to see that we’re trapped inside it, and then extend a loving and gentle hand back into the barrel, to help lift ourselves out.  The Self you pull out of the barrel will be extremely vulnerable, so you need to be ultra-gentle with them.

The sooner we notice that we’re in Hopelessness or Shame, the easier it is to rescue ourselves.  Once we recognize that it’s what we’re feeling and not who we are, then a critical next step is to congratulate ourselves for noticing, rather than beating ourselves up for feeling that way again.  When we can get positive reinforcement into changing the Pattern, it starts to build upon itself, and it becomes easier and easier to Respond to our noticing when the Pattern is starting.

Until we start to recognize the Pattern and Respond to it constructively, we won’t even be Present enough to remember that we know how to Tap.  Tapping will accelerate the Healing, but before we can even start to do helpful things, we need to notice the Pattern and congratulate ourself for noticing.  Until we can do that, there isn’t enough of a Self left outside the barrel to be helpful.

The Self who noticed, who congratulated, who extended a loving hand, who was Present enough to be gentle with your old Self that was stuck in the self-sabotaging Pattern, who maybe Tapped or otherwise amped up the Healing – or simply was willing to be Present and sit with you lovingly, that Self is part of your new Ego.  When we’re split into a Confident Self and a Dissolving Self, the two of Us have no Empathy for one another, and it’s Empathy that heals.

So we need to start by creating some fertile ground for a first date between them, so they can meet without mutual repulsion.  PIAVA has an immediate effect on the Unconscious, and the Unconscious is where each of them take turns living while they’re in the Shadows.  So PIAVAing a loving and gentle introduction between them is one way to initiate the Healing.

Since there’s an excellent chance that they hate each other, and feel as though they’ve ruined one another’s lives, sometimes there needs to be a third party to keep our Confident Self and our Rejected Self from retreating in horror.  That can be someone we trust completely, or it can be another part of ourSelf.  Our Rejected Self, as helpless as they seem, also has a tool chest full of Skills – the very Skills we need to accomplish our Mission, actually.  But those Skills are inaccessible to us as long as our two Selves are split.

The Spiritual Purpose of all these Regressions and nightmares of Emotion and Separation, is to teach us Compassion.  In order to have Compassion for the World, we need first to have Compassion for our Rejected Self.  In order to do that, we need some way to escape the blind alley that She finds herself in.  That process starts with a noticing

Oh, look!  I’m feeling Shame!

Oh, look!  I’m feeling Abandonment!

Oh, look!  I’m feeling Anxiety!

Oh, look!  I’m feeling Powerless!

It’s in the language.  When you ARE Powerless or Anxious or Abandoned or Shameful, then you yourSelf and the sabotaging Emotion are one and the same.  But when you FEEL Anxious or Shameful or Powerless or Abandoned, then you yourSelf are separate from the Emotion.  That Separation gives you the Power to be able to help Recover your Shameful or Powerless or Abandoned or Anxious Self.

Once you reach back into the barrel, you’re Recovering a Self who’s very young and very vulnerable, who knows little about the modern World.  You need to treat Her the way you would treat a distraught child that you found lost in the woods – very lovingly and very gently.  Since this child is You, you don’t have a choice, you have to adopt Her and raise Her.  Don’t be surprised if you break down in tears – this is a long-sought reunion.  She’ll grow fast, once you retrieve Her.

There are more subtle signs of Ego Death.  You’re where you’ve been a thousand times before, but somehow it’s different this time.  You aren’t sure if you’re actually lost, or if something has changed.  You’re doing something you’ve been doing for years, but it’s as if you’re outside of your own body watching yourself do it, or as if it’s someone else doing it.

We’ll look at the Mystic Rectangle next time.  In a nutshell, it brings us a lot of Grace, and will help us a great deal to grow our shells.  The Mystic Rectangle is focused on Awareness – that’ll help with our noticing.