Archive for the ‘Held Emotions’ Category

Intuition, Choice, Self-Sovereignty

March 19, 2020

Or, Intellect, Fate, Codependence.  I’m told by otherwise reliable sources that our Mitochondria have direct access to all of the Information in the Universe, but that this access can be blocked by Toxins and Held Emotions.  Fate is what happens to us when we’re Victims of our Karma – that is, when our Held Emotions Limit the scope of our Reality.  Most of our Held Emotions are Unconscious, hidden behind our Judgments.  As in…

I would do anything for Love, but I won’t do that!

It’s not the 3D Reality of that! which stops us.  It’s the Emotion.  Simply put, it’s not that We’d Rather Die than Do that! – it’s actually that We’d Rather Die than Feel thatBut guess what…  It’s Karmic, it’s not Present Moment.  So what that! would you not Do for Love?  Right now you’re Safe, Right?  No Alligators within snapping distance, Right?  Ok, so Imagine yourself Doing thatYou might feel Beside Yourself, maybe with the Edge of a Cold Sweat?  But you ain’t Dead.

So now, Tap it Out…

“Even though I’d Rather Die than Do that! I Deeply and Completely Love and Accept Myself…” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QzVd6Ww0as4,

and Ground yourself…

Imagine extending a Cable from the base of your Spine and Anchoring it to the Center of the Earth, then https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ao4xdDK9iE.

Feeling more like your usual self?  Good.  Now, take a few minutes and Imagine How You’ll Feel if you actually did that!

Now, first notice that you’re still Alive, assuming you are, and then Tap It Out and Ground Yourself again…

“Even though my Ego will have to Molt before I can be comfortable Feeling that! again, I Deeply and Completely Love and Accept Myself…”

Check in with yourself several times over the next few days, and see if your Judgment has Changed at all.  If you did this for Real, it should Open your Intuition a bit.

So, what’s going on astrologically, is a Big Opening in our Relationship to our Fate (Station of asteroid Moira [Fate and Choice] in 20 Scorpio, 21 March 2020, 5:20 pm PDT).  Fate happens to us when we’re Unconscious.  Once we’re Conscious of our Karma, Fate becomes Choice.  Becoming Conscious of our Karma is actually pretty easy – just make a list of all the things in your Life so far that you Didn’t Enjoy, then rank them by How Much you Didn’t Enjoy them.

Power and Healthy Control is often a Biggie.  Do you Feel Good when you have to Take Control of a situation?  Feel Guilty afterward?  Or in Judgment about how dumb those people were that they couldn’t do it themselves?  How about when you’re Expressing your Feelings and someone tells you how to Fix It?  Or when someone tries to Control your Actions or Behavior?  Are you able to tell them to Butt Out without Offending anyone?  And Feel Okay afterward, without Guilt or Judgment?

“It is all right to destroy the things you seem to love but secretly hate.  In fact, it may be necessary to do so.”
—Clark Strand and Perdita Finn, The Way of the Rose, p.91.

Stationary asteroid Moira [Fate/Choice] is one foot of the Finger of God [Pay Attention!] in a Diamond Star [Self-Resolving Challenge formed by a Finger of God and a T-Square pointing at the same planet].  The Focus of the Diamond Star is dwarf planet Asbolus [Intuition].  The other foot of the Finger of God is dwarf planet Hylonome [Self-Sovereignty].  The base of the T-Square is the Opposition between Neptune [the Intangible] and asteroid Nemesis [Ego Death].

There’s a lot more going on here (in the Moira Station chart), but I’m out of time, so I’ll plan to continue tomorrow.

 

Manifestation New Moon

February 26, 2020

The 23 February 2020 (7:30 am PST) New Moon chart, which is prominent for the next several weeks, is pretty much a repeat of the chart of the 19 February Five Moons Enhanced Creativity astroevent (see https://astrobuss.wordpress.com/2020/02/16/five-moons-enhanced-creativity/).

One emphasis will be on Manifestation (a Diamond Star or Self-Resolving Challenge to dwarf planet Makemake), although we’ll be Asked to Take a Great Deal of Responsibility for our own Negativity whenever the Manifestation isn’t Effortless (the Makemake Diamond Star Opposes Chiron-Lilith [Overcoming Victimhood] and Squares the Nodes [it’s a Life Lesson for us], with Mars, Veritas, Pholus, and Quaoar on the South Node [We Have to Face Facts about whether we’re Being Fully, Proactively Responsive to our Survival Instincts]).

Remember that Responsibility isn’t Blame.  Blame is about looking at the Past to Assign Fault, while Responsibility is about looking to the Future to Improve Outcomes.

If we’re Listening, our Inner Voices will be telling us (dwarf planet OR10 [Intrusive Memories] closely Conjunct [Merged With] the New Moon, at the focus of a Finger of God [Pay Attention!]) which Held Emotions – the ones we’d rather Die than Feel – are Inhibiting our Creativity (the South-Node Stellium [Karma] is part of two Tricolor Configurations [Healing Opportunities]), especially our Creativity at Enhancing our Vitality (the Challenge [Square] side of the Tricolor is Uranus [Soul] Square to Varuna [Life Force]).

Held Emotion is a synonym for Karma – our Ego has a severe Allergic Reaction to certain Feelings or Scenarios, often those that were associated with Past Deaths or other serious Traumas.  By and large we’ve Suppressed the original Traumas, so we’re just left with a serious Aversion to anything that reminds us of the Triggering Event.  That is, Negative Karma is “just” unhealed PTSD.

We need to Reframe our Reaction from “I would rather Die than Feel (or Do) That!” to “I would rather Die than Feel (or Do) That!” – in other words, it’s not really about the Emotion or Scenario, it’s about Identity:  Letting Go of the crippling Karma requires an Ego Death.  We need to Recognize that “I’d rather Die than Feel that!” is never Present-Moment, so it’s not only Safe to metaphorically Let Ourself Go Ahead and Die, but it’s our only Path to Liberation from our Karmic Chains.

Tapping can be very useful in this endeavor – “Even though I’d Rather Die than Feel/Do [this or that], I Deeply and Completely Love and Accept Myself.”

It will be better if we forgo trying to Analyze exactly what it is we’re Resisting, just to Acknowledge our Resistance (we Trigger the Trine [Grace] side of a Tricolor, and heal the Square [Challenge] side of it, by making sure we Avoid Analyzing the Quincunx [Curiosity] side of it).

Here’s the New Moon chart…

In the Major Tricolor [Square-Quincunx-Trine] here, the Square [Challenge] is Uranus-to-Varuna [Soul Granting or Withholding Vitality], the Trine [Grace] is Uranus-to-South-Node-Stellium [Honesty about what’s Stressing Us], and the Quincunx [Mandatory Curiosity] is South-Node-Stellium-to-Varuna [Stress on our Life Force].  So we need to Acknowledge the Stress on our Vitality, without trying to Understand it.  We can Identify it suffixed with “…or something like that,” or we can just Poor-Sweetheart ourself – “You Poor Sweetheart, your Life Force Feels Low, doesn’t it” and not worry about Why it might be.

In the Minor Tricolor [Square-Quincunx-Sextile], the Uranus-to-Varuna Square is the same [Lack of Vitality or Difficulty Manifesting], but the Sextile [Grace after we take the First Step] is New-Moon-OR10-to-Uranus [Recognizing that those Intrusive Memories are sent by the Soul to Help us Heal] and the Quincunx is New-Moon-OR10-to-Varuna [the Intrusive Memories will Inform our Healing – but only if we don’t try to Pin Them Down Intellectually].  The Issues Involved in these Tricolor Configurations are too complex to be Grokked by the Dualistic Mind, so we need to Avoid trying to Pin Them Down like we would a Dead Butterfly.

There are two other minor but potentially Meaningful astroevents occurring on 25 February.

Our Hidden and Forbidden Genius (dwarf planet Ixion) has graduated from a quarter-century of Shedding its Prohibitions (Ixion in Sagittarius), and will now begin a new 25 years of Doing Serious Work in the World (Ixion in Capricorn).  This is an Important Milestone, as our Forbidden Genii are Exactly the Skills we all need to use if we are to Succeed in Keeping our Planet Habitable.

It will be a halting Beginning, but a Beginning nonetheless.  We will have to go back into our Prohibitions a couple of times to Retrieve the Tools of our Genius Trade, but as Jack and Dean would have put it, we are On The RoadFrom 4 May till 10 September 2020, and from 16 July to 12 September 2021, Ixion Retrogrades back into Sagittarius.

Our Skill at Squelching Self-Sabotaging Habits becomes much more Down-to-Earth (asteroid Atropos enters and crosses Taurus) between 25 February and 6 May 2020 (no Atropos Retrograde periods in Taurus).  We’ve been Toying with (Visualizing, really) Changing Negative Patterns, but now we’ll get down to Business and Jettison them for good.

To jumpstart this process, Frequently put your Attention on How You’ll Feel when you’ve Let Go Of these No-Longer-Welcome Companions, including any and all Habits and Addictions you wish to Shed, no matter how Tenacious they’ve been in the Past.  The Power is now on your side.  And while these Habits are Destructive to you now, they served you well at some point in the Past, so finding Gratitude for their Service will also be helpful.  You don’t need to know When or Why, just know that you wouldn’t have them now if they weren’t Powerfully Useful to some version of “you” at some point.

There will be a couple of Red-Letter Days (more likely, the Week prior to them) during this process…

  • Around 6 March, we will be able to bring the Full Power of our Soul to bear on these Obsolete Patterns (Atropos crossing Uranus).  Take advantage of this – queue up your Most Persistent Curses for Exorcism during the first week of March.
  • Around 1 May, we will be able to Tackle our Greatest Fears and put them in their place on the wall next to the rest of our Big-Game Trophies (Atropos crossing dwarf planet Sedna).  Tapping and Kegels work very well for Grounding ourself in the Presence of Skin-Crawling Fear.

See the source image

Finally, we’re  entering the Grip of a couple of Strong Energies.  Our Intuition will be very Strong (dwarf planet Asbolus Stationary) until 1 March, and our Skill at Transcending whatever we are Done With (asteroid Bee-Zed Stationary) will also be very Strong over the same period.

The Fives IV

October 26, 2019

This interview with Alberto Villoldo will be online free till 4pm PDT 27 October 2019.  It is also comprehensive, and as well introduces a couple of different and valuable Perspectives…

https://www.hayhousehealsummit.com/lessons/revolutionary-healing-techniques-from-the-ancient-shamans

For instance, one of things that Alberto points out is that the Bliss molecule DMT, which promotes Healing, is built from Serotonin, which is mostly produced by our Gut Bacteria – if you haven’t killed them by taking antibiotics and not Restored them with Probiotics.  What he doesn’t say is that Glyphosate is an FDA-certified antibiotic and virtually all non-Organic Grains and Sugars are laced with Glyphosate because it’s also a desiccant that non-Organic agriculture typically sprays onto the plants just before harvest, in order to kill the foliage and make it easier to harvest the Grains and Sugars.  So every time you eat non-Organic Grain or Sugar, you Risk Closing yourself to Healing.

2019 Q4 II

October 24, 2019

From Dan Scranton’s Arcturian Council…

https://rainbowwaveoflight.wordpress.com/2019/10/23/the-final-months-of-2019-%e2%88%9ethe-9d-arcturian-council/

“We are extremely excited about the potential that we see for humanity to continue to evolve in leaps and bounds for the rest of 2019.  We are seeing a trend amongst all of you where you are gaining momentum, and you are doing this by accessing the wisdom of all of your previous selves that you’ve ever been.  The wisdom that you have acquired over all of your lifetimes in this universe is becoming more available to you now because of the integration work that you are doing in this time of ascension.  And that wisdom means that you have stronger intuitive hits, stronger impulses.  It means that your downloads are coming fast and furiously, and it also means that you are very productive while you are sleeping.

“You’re opening yourselves up to these past [parallel] life versions of yourselves because they are hurting, because they are in need of your support.  They need you to help them reintegrate.  They need you to help them clear their traumas.  We know that this has been a lot of work for all of you, and we know that you have suffered quite a bit.  You felt intense emotions and didn’t know why or where they were coming from.  You’ve also experienced a tremendous amount of what we call ascension symptoms, and all of the upgrades to your bodies and your chakras have been very trying on your patience with this process of ascension.

“But in these final months that you have for the remainder of this year, you get to reap the rewards for all that hard work, all that you have endured, just by being there on Earth.  Earth is not a proving ground, and it’s not a testing facility, but it often feels that way to you.  The fact that you are ascending in this lifetime means that you signed up to face all of the trauma and the stuck negative emotions in this one lifetime, and it’s about time that you got some positive results from all of that hard work.

“The wisdom that you are downloading now will propel humanity into a higher echelon, and many of you will have your fifth dimensional experiences and think that the shift is upon you.  There’s a bit more time that needs to unfold before that happens, but you are well on your way, and this time now is when humanity takes a giant leap forward.”

Although our own Ascension is not dependent upon Humanity doing so, unless we make that Decision.  If we’ve already so Vowed, the 26 October Klotho Station T-Square to Orcus-Neptune gives us the Opportunity to Revert it.  The Bodhisattva Vow is that we’ll Return to assist Others, not that we’ll defer our own Enlightenment for it.  We can send Blessings, but we can’t do anyone else’s Work for them.  They have to make their own Choices or non-Choices.

Prioritizing Held Emotions

September 15, 2019

On 15 September 2019 (2:30 pm PDT), Saturn (The Most Important Thing) and the South Node (Held Emotions) pass one another.  Saturn is Stationary (Strong) while this occurs.  Saturn turns around and begins moving the other way (Direct) on 18 September (2am PDT), but on 15 September it’s only an arcminute (one sixtieth of a Degree) from it’s turnaround, so it’s virtually Stationary.  The chart of Saturn-South Node on the 15th is almost identical to the Saturn Station chart of the 18th…

Almost.  On 15 September the Moon hasn’t come around yet to Complete the Grand Sextile (six planets more or less equally spaced around the Zodiac, connected by the short blue lines), so there is no Grand Sextile in the Saturn-South Node chart.  A Grand Sextile is a Great Boon, as once we take the first step on any Journey, the rest is Effortless.  We couldn’t ask for a better chart for The Most Important Thing Is Our Held Emotions, as all we’ll need to do is PIAVA that our Karma “Leave Now and Never Come Back.”

However, while the Moon is working it’s way around, it’ll be a bit more Challenging.  Specifically, on the 15th, in order to Complete the Grand Sextile and make it all Easy, we’ll need to fill the Vacancy Consciously.  On the 15th the Moon is back at 12 Aries – same Degree Zone, but Square, or Challenging, to Saturn and the Nodes, probably making us more Emotional!  The Vacancy on the 15th is at 13 Taurus, “A porter carrying heavy baggage.”  How appropriate for the circumstances!  Goddess Knows our Karma is Heavy Baggage.  But we aren’t carrying it!  A porter is!

Bear in mind that we use the Mean Node.  The True Node is a bit less regular.  We’ve always found the Mean Node to be adequate for our Purposes, so we’ve never Explored the True Node.  If any of you have, I’ll be Grateful if you Edify me.  It’s the Mean Node that meets Saturn on 15 September.  The True Node crossed Saturn on 30 April 2019 in 21 Capricorn (noon PDT) and 4 July in 18 Capricorn (also noon), and will again on 27 September in 14 Capricorn (11pm PDT).  The Nodes are naturally Retrograde, with an Orbital Period of about nineteen years, versus twenty-eight years for Saturn.

Remember that the nature of Karma is Illusion.  If what you’re Experiencing in this period is Deja vu all over again, it’s Karma, not Present-Moment Reality.  Karma dips into Present Moment Reality when it Triggers our Expectations of Doom.  So there may be elements that Feel quite Real.  We do need to Attend to those, but we also need to Realize that they’re Paper Tigers.  The more your Expectations bring down the full weight of your Karma upon you, the more they’ll bleed into Present Moment Realty, as the Universe Mirrors the Vibrations we’re putting out.

For instance, no, those Physical Symptoms you’re Feeling aren’t Cancer or worse, though you can make them evolve into that if you Project your Fear of it strongly enough.  This is when Relieving Symptoms, rather than Healing Cause, is appropriate.  Yes, you want to Heal the Cause, but the Cause isn’t Physical, it’s Emotional.  Heal that by Embracing it, no matter how Painful it Feels and no matter how much it feels like you’re gonna Die.  Yes, you – your Ego – is going to Molt, but Physical Death and Serious Illness are in the cards only as much as your Fear of them calls them to you.

What happens when you Mirror Chocolate or Ice Cream?  Hold the Mirror for a few minutes.  Does anything Change?

Held Emotions Aura Holes

September 15, 2019

The “general rule” is that no one can Invade our Space if it’s Filled with our own Energy.  But as we’ve averred, our Childhood Programmers often Manipulated our Karmic Wounds to create and maintain Holes in our Aura, usually in our Back, where they could metaphorically reach in and pull our Puppet-Strings so they could maintain Control.  These Holes make it Impossible for us to keep our Space Filled with our own Energy.  So, how to Heal them.

First we have to Notice that they Exist.  That actually just requires some Reframing.  Anyone routinely and repeatedly make you Feel Angry?  Hurt?  Outraged?  Anything else Unpleasant?  Of course no one can “make you” Feel anything, but it may seem that way, and they can certainly Trigger your Feelings, and they may well do it on Purpose, the Asshole.  We have to Reframe them into our Teacher, without giving then any Deference or Respect that they haven’t Earned.  When we step out of Blame and Victimhood, these Assholes, er, Teachers, point out to us where the Holes in our Auras are, so we can Own them and Heal them.

How about Obsession?  Does anything ever Grab you and not Let Go, so your mind can’t help but Grind on it, maybe for weeks at a time?  Sure, you can get a Song fragment stuck in there, and that’s a minor example.  Send in the Clowns for instance maybe, or Stuck inside of Mobile with the Memphis Blues Again.  Sorry, hope those don’t get stuck.  But often it’s when someone does something Dumb or Hurtful or Inconsiderate, and our mind has a hard time Letting Go of it, or some insoluble Real or Imagined or Potential Problem arises, like Climate Change or a Layoff or a strange noise in the transmission or how to find a safe place to sleep, and our mind is Crunching away at it trying to Figure Out how to make it work.

Those usually aren’t as direct as someone making us Angry, but they’re Obsessions in the same ballpark.  Then there are the Disturbances in the Force, where we or It, doesn’t Feel Right, and we Obsess on what’s “wrong” or what we can do about it (beside Chocolate or Ice Cream, if we’ve brought it that far enough up into Consciousness) – or even, if Chocolate or Ice Cream keeps beckoning us like a Harpie and we don’t even Realize it’s because something doesn’t Feel Right!

In other words, we’ve Noticed an Obsession of some kind, where our Thought-Emotion Loops are caught in a Helicopter Trip, and we can’t Let Go or we’ll fall out of the Sky.  Let’s Allow ourself to make the Projection, as if someone was actually torturing us by sending Negative Energy our way.  Who would it be?  No Blame, we’re just using them as a Foil, and we won’t be hurting them.  You could Choose the person who makes you Angry, or the person who does Hurtful things, or the person you’re Obsessing about, or the first person that comes to mind as you reach for the Chocolate.  It doesn’t really matter who it is, you could Choose someone at random.

Then you take one of those portable Wardrobe Mirrors, and you hold it up, facing them.  Hold it for several minutes, while you watch what’s going on inside.  Feel Guilty?  That’s a foolproof sign that you’re on target.  Guilt and Shame were the tools used to Create the Holes in our Aura, or at least, bring them into the Current Lifetime.  Hold the Mirror, facing them, for several minutes, so the Energy is either Reflected back to them, or at least Reflected away from you.  Do you now Feel any Different than you Felt before you deployed the Mirror?  If you Feel Relief, you got the “right” person.  Still no Blame, they may just be a symbol for the right person or situation.

If you don’t Feel some Relief after a few minutes, try another person.  A different Associate, perhaps.  Or a Sibling, or an Ex.  Or the person who Programmed you – almost always a parent or parent surrogate like a grandparent or a teacher.  Once you find any person that, when you Hold the Mirror between you and they, facing them, you Feel some Relief within a minute or two, then you can move on.  Again, no Blame.  You might Feel Intensely toward this person – don’t squelch your Feelings.  But this is about You, not them.  Stay with your Real Passions, but be Present with them as Yours, not Theirs.  When you’re dealing with Karmic material, everyone else is just a bit player.

Once you have a solid Target, Hold the Mirror, facing them, for several minutes, while you watch to see what’s going on outside of yourself.  Do they just “come around to the back,” looking or walking around the Mirror, or over it, or even under it?  Many of our Programmers were just doing to us as they were done unto, they think that’s what parenting is about, so they feel no guilt about it.  If they go around your Mirror, make the Mirror bigger.  There is the Appearance of an External Source of Energy that’s being Directed at you, and it doesn’t Feel good.  So tune your Mirror to reflect this Energy back to where it came from.  Again, if you Feel Guilt, that means you’re Really on the right track.

Every time you set the Mirror, and Push Back against your Guilt, you Fill the Hole in your Aura.  This is your own Energy Body you’re working with, and your own Skill with Boundaries.  The other person or Energy source is just a symbol.  If they really have been Manipulating you in the Present Moment, they’ll Feel it, and won’t know what to make of it.  If they’re just an Innocent Stand-in for one of your Programmers or even for whomever Victimized you in that Past Life, they won’t even Notice what you’re doing.

The only thing you can ever Change is Yourself.  That’s True even for things like Climate Change, Brexit, and the Antichrist.  And most of the time our Puppet Strings are Karmic, so it’s not easy to Replace them with Self-Supporting Habits that Fill our Energy System with our own Energy.  So no one else can get in.  The secret to Replacing any Habit is Repetition.  We (1) Notice the old Habit (Giving Away our Power, Blame, Victimhood), we Respond to our Noticing first by (2) Congratulating Ourself for Noticing and then by (3) Setting a New Habit, namely using our Mirror, and (4) Repeating this sequence as many times as it takes to Replace the Habit Permanently.

I know, you’ll be Angry that you have to make this Effort, over and over, when it should be your Birthright.  You’re right, it is your Birthright, but you have to Claim it.  After a few Mirroring you’re likely to Abandon the Practice because it takes Attention, and the Burden shouldn’t be on you.  It’s your Choice.  You’re Free to continue to Suffer the Karma.  But ultimately it is your Choice.  No one else is going to do it for you.  The only thing you can Change is You, and the only thing that can really Change you is You.  But it takes Persistence.  It may take years of Reps.

They’ll get easier and easier the more you Practice.  Pretty soon you’ll start using your Mirror automatically.  With enough Practice you can actually use it while you’re talking to the person who Triggers you.  Or even while you’re talking to your former Programmer.  If you can Learn to talk and drive a car at the same time, you can Learn to talk and Mirror at the same time.  Once your New Habit is Stable enough that the Mirror starts to deploy on its own, your Holes are almost Full.  Pretty soon you’ll forget about the Mirror because you won’t need to Remember it, because your Energy System will be Full of your own Energy.  You’ll be Claiming Your Space Habitually, rather than Giving Away Your Power Habitually.

Held Emotions II

September 12, 2019

Our initiation into The Most Important Thing Is to Embrace our Held Emotions (Saturn Stationary Conjunct the South Node) is the 12 September, 2019 (8:30 pm PDT) Illumination of the symbol for Respect for All Things (Station of asteroid Hopi) in the same 14 Capricorn Degree.  These Conspirators are joined by the symbol for Becoming Aware of the Need for Self-Sovereignty (dwarf planet Hylonome, Stationary until 21 September) in 11 Capricorn.  That’s kind of a Knife Edge, Respecting All Things Without Giving Away Our Power to Any of Them.

The Self-Sovereignty issue is greatly Enhanced by a Challenge (T-Square) to the Expansion of our Awareness (Jupiter) from the symbols for Self-Sovereignty itself (Lilith) and Action/Anger (Mars).  Most especially, we’re Instructed by these “Stars” to Take Action to Get Neutral about Our Anger at The People Who Have Taken Our Power When We Gave It To ThemWe’re Angry at the People who have Taken Our Power, but it is Us – Unconsciously – who Gave It to Them.  Most of the time this happens because our Programmers installed Holes in our Auras that they could reach into and Pull our Puppet-Strings.

Here’s the chart…

If you’ve raised or otherwise worked closely with Children, you’ve probably Unconsciously or even Consciously done the same thing – found a place where you could Manipulate them, usually through Shame, in order to keep them under Control.   Especially in groups, they can be a handful…

Manipulating others for your own Gain isn’t the Travesty that it sounds like – we all do it to some extent.  There are two problems that arise when you Manipulate Children with Shame.

First, that Hole in their Aura doesn’t Heal on its own.  It stays with them into Adulthood until – and if – they Discover it and Heal it.  Till then they’re Compelled to Give Their Power Away to anyone who Discovers their Puppet Strings, and to their Frustration and Anger – and Shame, they won’t know why or how.

And second, that Hole wouldn’t be there unless it was part of their Karma, which makes it more Difficult for them to Discover and Heal it, because it was embedded in the Unconscious before they were even born.  These Huper Lifetimes are worse than Gollum’s Riddles!

There’s another Configuration that Illuminates this whole process – the symbol for Fate and Choice (asteroid Moira) and the symbol for Oath-Making and -Breaking (dwarf planet Orcus) are Merged (Conjunct) in the Hopi Station chart, and they volunteer to Help us with this Discovery (along with asteroid Veritas [Truth], they make a Double Trine Bridge [Easy Crossing] across the Nodal Axis).

Until we become Conscious of our Karma, and the Hole(s) in our Aura, we stuck with our “Fate.”  Once we Become Aware of it (Hylonome), we have Choice.  We were probably between a Rock and a Hard Place, but at some point lost in the Mists of Time, we Swore an Oath, and we Obeyed it, we Adopted it as part of our Identity, perhaps as the Core of our Identity.  Habits become Unconscious through Repetition, and in subsequent Lifetimes the Repetition was well established, but the Oath was Forgotten.  Bingo, Karma.  To Convert Fate to Choice we need to Break the Oath.  But we’ve long since Forgotten what is was.

That’s a fine Story for 3D Linear Time, but as you know, Time doesn’t really work that way.  If you’re like me, for the last week your “Random” Memories have been popping up all over the map, with little “rhyme or reason.”  That’s Real Time, with Bleedthrough from whatever Lifetime (which our Creative Memory usually inserts into the “Past” in our Current Lifetime) dripping through seemingly unpredictably, though we can often Discern Themes.

Creative Memory makes it seems like all these Random Tidbits and Recurrent Themes are part of “Us,” and they become our Identity.  But again, it doesn’t really work that way.  That’s 3D Ego-Level “Us.”  Shift your Identity to your Soul, and it looks very Different.  Karma is Personal only to the Ego, not to the Soul.  On the Soul Level, when we Choose to Slum it for a while on Earth, we pick a Project we want to help the Planet with.  The Karma is in the Energy Field of the Planet.  Other planets may not even contain the moving parts that “our” Karma is made from.

We come here to Help Convert some aspect of the Planet’s Fate to Choice, by contributing Replications of Alternative Patterns.  With enough Reps, by ourself and Others, new Habits are built into the Earth’s Energy Template.  Epigenetics, it’s called when Personalized to the Huper Level.  Project that back through Herstory.  Hupers used to be in the Habit of starving to Death in a bad winter following a poor Harvest.  Then Volunteers like you came and organized ways to store Food from one winter to the next, and ways to move Food from one valley that had a fortunate Harvest, to another that didn’t.  New Habits.

There was nothing Ego-Personal about all that; it was “just” Souls monkeying with the Energy Fields.  Death is no big deal to the Soul, it’s just another Experience.  The advantage of staying Alive longer was to build greater Knowledge and Wisdom.  A Hunter or Forager or Farmer with fifty years of Hunting or Foraging or Farming in their Winter Count is far ahead of one who flames out at twenty years.  Of course that’s just a Story too.  We as Hupers don’t generally have the Bandwidth to actually Grok what’s really going on in Dimensions (and Dementias) that we can’t even See or Touch.  But the more Metaphors and Stories and Perspectives we have, the more we can Intuit.

So how then do we actually Help Extinguish this Planetary Karma?  What if we could gather up enough Passion, Focus, and Power to just tell it to “Leave Now, and Never Come Back!“?

It’s too easy to Forget that Karma is not Present Moment, it’s not Real.  It’s a Paper Tiger, a Shadow Puppet.  Sméagol had to repeat his New Anthem three times before it took hold.  Your Attachment to “your” Karmic warp in the Force, the one you came here to Help Convert, may be a little stronger; it may take you up to ten Reps to gather enough Courage, Commitment, Passion, Confidence, Focus and Power to Banish it Forever.  The sooner you start, the sooner you finish.

We could even make “Leave Now, and Never Come Back!” another silent partner in PIAVA.  In the next post we’ll look at the other side of the coin, Healing the Holes in our Aura directly.

TMIT Is Embracing Held Emotions

September 10, 2019

Yesterday’s Ixion (Forbidden Genius) Station was a big deal, and the 14 September 2019 Stations of Pholus and Quaoar (Responding to Survival Instincts) are huge for the likes of Climate Change and Extinctions including our own, all these (and the many other intervening diversions) are really just details in the Real Main Event, namely the 18 September Station of Saturn on the South Node.  Anyone who’s been here a while knows that we consider Saturn to mean The Most Important Thing (ie, “TMIT”), and the South Node to mean our Karma, most specifically our Held Emotions.

Held Emotions are those which “We’d rather Die than Feel,” probably because that’s what we were Feeling in a number of recent Past Deaths.  Every Past Life featured a Past Death, and physical Deaths are often unpleasant.  From the Perspective of the Immutable Soul though, every Death is just a Transition, albeit a usually difficult one.  We misinterpret Held Emotions, reading them as “We’d rather Die than Feel,” when the real issue is “We’d rather Die than Feel” – which is to say, the Ego – our Identity or We – has to Die if we want to move beyond the Blocks that our Held Emotions present.

Few of us are able to get beyond the Dualistic mind to begin to Grok our Multidimensional and Unitary Mission – why we took this particular Lifetime – as symbolized by the North Node.  But this “Dragon” (the other name for the Nodes) has a secret.  That’s why Bilbo risked getting toasted to sample Smaug’s Horde.  Hidden behind our Held Emotions are the Skills we developed in these Lifetimes where we Died so unceremoniously, and we cannot Accomplish our Mission without these Skills.  So it would be very relevant to aver that The Most Important Thing we have to do in any Lifetime, is to Learn to Embrace our Held Emotions.

In one version of the Sisiutl story of the Canadian West Coast, this Horrendous two-headed Dragon is famous for turning to Stone anyone or thing who looks it in the eye.  Not just Instant Death, but being Frozen in Terror till the End of Days.  No fun.  So how do we Overcome our Personal Sisiutl?  As Sisiutl approaches we Stand Still with our eyes closed, until He gets so close that his two heads, on either side of us, see each other, and it’s He who turns to Stone.

In other words, when these Horrendous Emotions arise, we Stand Still for them.  They aren’t Real, they aren’t Present-Moment, they’re Karma, ancient bundles of Terror dolled up in a Dragon suit, Paper Tigers, Shadow Puppets.  They become “Real” in the Present Moment only through our Beliefs and Expectations.  Nocebos, granted Life by our Projections.  If we can Tolerate the Presence of the Dragon, we can Embrace the Lost Child in the Dragon Suit.  By Embracing and Befriending that Lost Child, we Recover the Skills we need to Do What We Came Here To Accomplish.  It’s not about Heroism and Strength, it’s about Surrender and Vulnerability.

The immediate Energy is a Station of asteroid Hopi (Respect for All Things) that occurs 12 September (8:30 pm PDT) in 14 Capricorn, only ten arcseconds from Saturn.  In other words, what are you Judging, what are you Resisting, of what Energy are you the Victim?  These are huge clues.  If you wait till your Held Emotions come rushing in as pure Emotion, you’ll be Overwhelmed.  But if you take your Pet Peeves and other Fears, and turn them over in your hand, you may be able to sneak down that hidden tunnel to the Lair in the Hollow Hill, where your Held Emotions sleep, and catch them unawares.

Dwarf planet Hylonome also joins Hopi, Saturn, and the South Node.  Hylonome is about Self-Sovereignty.  So you can also look over the places where you Give Your Power Away, and Ask yourself Why you do that.  Not in the sense of What Triggers It, but in the sense of What Are You Afraid Of, Why are you Compelled to Give Away Your Power in these circumstances.

What Distinguishes our Karma from our everyday Bummers, is not just Repetition, but Unconsciousness.  When we start Shaking, or have a sudden unquenchable need for Chocolate or any other of our Addictions, or have a sudden need to Sleep, we don’t think, “Oh, there’s my Karma!”  We reach for the Chocolate or the Cider or whatever Stabilizes us for the few minutes that it does.  This Moment is where our Power arises and we Give It Away.  This is the Moment when we Want to Ask, “What’s this about?”  “What am I Resisting and Hoping to Avoid?”

Our Karma is Unconscious, so Plan-Execute-Analyze won’t work.  To get behind the Veil to the Other Side we have to use PIAVA instead – Prayer, Intention, Asking, Visualizing, Affirming, and all of the “silent” terms like Commanding, Wondering, Expanding (https://astrobuss.wordpress.com/category/manifestation/piava-review/ and https://astrobuss.wordpress.com/category/manifestation/piava/).

“Dark Days” 7

April 25, 2019

Okay, the Pluto Station has passed under the bridge and moved on down the River, though as I said earlier, it may linger because the three Stations (Pluto, Chariklo, Saturn) are only a few Degrees apart.  I used to Experience Pluto Stations as though I was “swimming through Jello,” but lately, while there’s a good deal of momentary Confusion, it’s been Feeling fairly ordinary.  Anyone finding Differently?

So to the extent that Pluto has moved on, we’re left in the Thick of Chariklo-Saturn-South Node, or Confidence-Attention-Karma.  Or, The Most Important Thing is to Stay in the Present Moment, or to Distinguish between the Present Moment and our Regressions.  One downside I’d not be Surprised to see is that our Karma will shake up our Confidence, and we’d be swimming in Self-Doubt instead of Jello, or worse, in Self-Recrimination.  Whenever the South Node is lit up – or asteroid Karma, or our Karma for any reason, astrological or otherwise, most of what we Experience will be Illusion.

We could easily be imagining the worst Outcome possible, then when something appears to move in that direction, we jump to the conclusion that it already, indeed, has.  For instance, if we’re thinking about how a friend might Abandon us, or thinking about Abandoning them, and they make a comment that might be interpreted as Criticism, even if it wasn’t meant that way, we could Receive their comment as the very Abandonment we’d been Expecting, and React accordingly, leaving our former friend wondering what happened.

That’s a good example, as it Illustrates how we grasp our Karma rather than the other way ’round.  Of course the critical element is the Depth of our Karmic Trance – that’s what Karma is after all, a Trance, one that Separates us from the Present Moment.

Pluto of course is all about Trance – we usually express it as a Transformation, or Formation of a New Trance.  The key to Karma is Awareness that we’ve Left the Present Moment.  Back in the 1980s we would ask ourselves, “What color is the wallpaper?” because if it was not the same as the wallpaper in the room where we were Abused, just that had the potential to jolt us out of our Unconscious Surrender to our Regression.

So with Pluto Involved (it’s still Involved even as its Influence lessens), our odds of Transforming our Karmic Trance into Awareness are actually greater.

The Karmic Trance can be very all-consuming Emotionally.  If we Hear someone Criticizing us or otherwise Shaking our Confidence, it may not matter what their Intentions are, it may Light a Fire in us that’s not easily extinguishable.

Everyone has some degree of Karmic Abandonment, and everyone has some degree of Karmic “Suffocation” – the Feeling that someone is watching us too closely, waiting for us to slip up, eager to label us Wrong, or itching Limit our Freedom.  The Libertarians carry their Suffocation to Extremes, and are proud of it.  Often, for each of us, either Abandonment or Suffocation dominates, but we can be Strong in both.  By Distinguishing when we’re Feeling Abandoned and when we’re feeling Suffocated, we up the odds that we’ll be able to recognize that it’s Our Abandonment and Our Suffocation.

When we Own these two Emotions, we can more easily Differentiate situations where we’re Being Abandoned or Suffocated, from situations where we’re Feeling Abandoned or Suffocated.  If we can do that, we up the odds that we can retract our Projections – rather than Feel Criticized and clam up, we might ask what the other person meant when they said that.  Of course, just because we’re Feeling Abandoned or Suffocated, doesn’t mean we aren’t also Being Abandoned or Suffocated – “Just because I’m Paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t out to get me,” as we used to say.

But Recognizing these Feelings will help you decipher whether the Emotion and the Experience match in Intensity.  When they don’t, we’re either Tranced into our Karma, (when the Emotion is much more Intense than the Experience) and need to Wake Up, or we’re looking into the open jaws of a Held Emotion – that is, Tranced into Avoiding our Karma (when the Emotion is much less Intense than the Experience).  While Avoiding Karma may feel like Success, it’s not.  It means that our Karma is hiding in the Unconscious, where it’s pulling our puppet-strings.

One of the hardest things about Held Emotions is that they’re undercover.  Since we’d rather Die than Feel them, we’re highly Skilled at Avoiding them.  The Ego’s job is to keep us Alive, and if the Ego thinks we’ll Die, it’s going to Excel at Avoiding that situation.  So if we can Detect a clue to a Held Emotion by Arbitraging our Experiences and our Emotions instead of just Freaking Out, then thinking in terms of Abandonment and Suffocation will have done you a solid.

In a way it’s like your Study of Anxiety – where you’re Learning to distinguish between your fast-moving Emotions (a la Goofy) and your drudging thoughts about them (aka Anxiety).

And don’t forget Poor-Sweetheart.  Poor-Sweethearting a Real Emotion or a fake one can Feel like Avoidance, but it’s not.  Once you Empathize with what you’re really Experiencing or Feeling, you’ve already Changed the Trance.  When you then Successfully Change the Subject, you Step Out of your Karmic Trance, and every time you Step Out you build your Antikarmic Muscles.  Pretty soon you have a whole new set of Patterns.

“Dark Days” 2

April 19, 2019

Here’s an excellent way to Lighten Up these “Dark Days” – Donna Eden’s free Energy Medicine & Healing Summit that lasts all week, 22-26 April, led by her daughter Dondi Dahlin, at…

https://energymedicinesummit.com/

I’m told that each session will be available for 48 hours after it plays live.  I’m looking forward to…

  • Donna herself speaking about The Assemblage Point (“The Power of this extraordinary Energy and how to Align with it; How it works with the Aura and the Heart Chakra; How figure eights keep it shining bright”) and
  • Judith Orloff on Balance as an Empath (“Identify if you’re an Empath and/or highly Sensitive person; Discover why you feel exhausted, anxious, and physically ill; Learn how to Set Boundaries and Trust your Intuition),

…both Tuesday morning.  While I think of an Ego Death as a Shift in our “Assemblage Point,” I don’t really Know what Castaneda’s Don Juan meant by that term.  I expect Donna, Seeing Energy as she does, will Know though, so I’m Excited to hear what she has to say about it.

Here’s our “Dark Days” Itinerary…

17-24 April (more or less) – Strong Compulsions, best not Resisted, though they can be Modified if necessary to Avoid Untoward Consequences, or “Surfed” for a Gravity Boost to your Orbit.  If lack of Alignment with your Self-Image or Social Mask seems like a problem, Allow your Image or Mask to Evolve, Gently.  (Pluto Stationary in 24 Capricorn, 11:30 am 24 April)

19 April to 3 May – Soulful Full Moon (see previous and future posts)

21-28 April – Watch closely for any sign of Self-Doubt, and rather than giving it any Credence, regard it as a Regression into the most Self-Sabotaging parts of your Childhood Programming.  “You Poor Sweetheart, you’ve been Programmed into Doubting yourself, haven’t you.”  If your Inner Child doesn’t Show Up for a Hug and maybe a Chat, Pretend that they have.  (Chariklo Station in 25 Capricorn, 3pm 28 April)

22-29 April – We need to Stay Focused on One Thing here, and it needs to be The Most Important Thing.  For you in this context (ie, everything else that’s going on), that may feel like Rescuing Your Partner or Someone Else who’s Important to you, or Saving Your Relationship or Your Income or Your Domicile or some other Materially or Emotionally Important issue.  Which is Fine, but do Recognize that you’ll be Abandoning your True Self if whoever you’re Rescuing, or whatever you’re Saving, is Contrary to your Liberation or to your Soul’s Truth.

No Worries, you may just be Learning the last few Lessons that you need to Learn in order to be Truly Ready to Transcend.  This isn’t our only Opportunity to Ascend, after all, just our Most Powerful One, one where we’re Jet-Propelled.  Before we’re Jet-Propelled into our Liberation, we’re likely to be Jet-Propelled into our “Shit,” so Awareness is key here.  We Want to stay Conscious of the Difference between What We Want and What We Don’t Want, and focus on the former as much as we can.  (Saturn Stationary in 21 Capricorn, 5pm PST 29 April)

23-30 April – Yes, it may well Feel Awful, because you may be Face to Face with your Held Emotions, the ones you’d rather Die than Feel.  There are literally No Greater Opportunities to Liberate yourself from your Limitations and your Self-Sabotage – from your Karma.  Remember the story of Sisiutl, a two-headed Monster so Scary that It turns to Stone whomever Sees It.  But, if you Stand Still for It as It approaches you, Its two heads will See Each Other – and Sisiutl will turn to Stone!  (Saturn Merges with True South Node, Exact at noon PDT 30 April)

Which leaves us with a Pattern that looks like this…

In other words, it’s pretty much All At Once.  We might Feel greater Compulsion early, and greater Focus later, or we might just feel Heavy, or like Shit, for the whole two weeks – the Pluto, Chariklo, Saturn, and Saturn-South Node events are also all within a few Degrees of one another, increasing the likelihood of Merger.  When the Energies Merge, our Unconscious Reaction will likely be something like The Most Important Thing is to Stop This Persistent Feeling that I’m Dying, Compulsively using Food, Alcohol, Drugs, Sex, or whatever Crutches we’re accustomed to using.

A Conscious Response might be The Most Important Thing is to Take Advantage of this Incredible Opportunity to Liberate myself from these Karmic Chains that have become so Graphically Clear.  So how might we go about that Liberation?  Lots of Tapping.  Lots of Alternating Theta and Tapping to Distinguish our Anxiety from Reality (see https://astrobuss.wordpress.com/category/manifestation/piava/theta/).  Lots of Poor-Sweethearting.  There’s Grace in the Full Moon chart that will Help; we’ll talk more about that soon.

It’ll help to have Buddies who understand what we Want and what’s likely to Block us from it, so they can Remind us at strategic moments what’s The Most Important Thing.  We can score the Chocolate or the Tequila after we ditch them, but meanwhile they will have slowed down our Self-Destruction.

A friend once said, “I know that This Too will Change.  But you, as an astrologer, know When it will Change!”  No matter how Crummy you Feel, know that your Work will bring an Abundance of May Flowers, and it’s not far away.