Archive for the ‘Ego Death’ Category

Heavy Fortnight 1

June 1, 2020

Marilyn Raffaele’s Channeling of the Arcturians for today is a fabulous summary of our recent Expansion of Consciousness Adventure…

https://onenessofall.com/newest.html

 

“To help children feel that they aren’t alone with their feelings,” my friend Kalli Dakos, an acclaimed children’s book author (see https://www.amazon.com/s?k=kalli+dakos&ref=nb_sb_noss_1 and http://www.kallidakos.com/), educational consultant, and thoroughly delightful person, offers as her generous Gift to the World these wonderful poems for children about COVID-19.  I sobbed all the way through them.  Please share them with parents and teachers, and anyone who works with children, that you know

http://www.kallidakos.com/covid19.html

 

Heavy two weeks coming, on many counts.  It’s 5-12 June 2020 that’s likely to be Heaviest, but the more Sensitive among us will already be Feeling it Beginning.  Here’s a skeleton outline of our June Gauntlets…

  • 5 June (12:12 pm PDT) – Heavy Full Moon (many reasons; in 16 Sagittarius).
  • 6 June (11:15 am PDT) to 8 June (8:15 am PDT) – Probable Excess Emotionality (Moon Out of Bounds in 30 Sagittarius-25 Capricorn).
  • Until 10 June (11:15 am PDT) – Probable Excess Polarization (asteroid Aletheia [Truth of the Heart] Stationary in 15 Aquarius).
  • Until 12 June (6:30 am PDT) – Abuse and Privilege are Prominent (dwarf planet Nessus [Abuse and Privilege] Stationary in 14 Pisces).
  • Until 15 June (2:50 am PDT) – Opportunity to Let Go of Karma (asteroid Moira [Fate and Choice] Stationary in 8 Scorpio).  Two weeks after the big demonstrations.
  • Until 18 June (11am PDT) – We Get What We Ask For, literally, with the Unconscious Asking as well (dwarf planet Makemake [Manifestation] Stationary in 5 Libra).
  • Until 19 June – Invitation to Liberate our Hidden Genius (South Node [Karma] crosses dwarf planet Ixion [Forbidden Genius]).
  • 20 June (9:30 pm PDT) to 22 June (8pm PDT) – Probable Excess Emotionality (Moon Out of Bounds in 30 Gemini to 25 Cancer).
  • 20 June (10:45 pm PDT) – Self-Love New Moon in 1 Cancer.
  • Until 22 June (9:30 pm PDT) – Confusion (Neptune [Material Confusion, Spiritual Clarity] Stationary in 21 Pisces).
  • Until 29 June (11pm PDT) – Regression to 5 April (Jupiter Conjunct Pluto [Expansion Required] in 25 Capricorn).

Those many reasons for the Heaviness of the 5 June Full Moon?

#1. The Full Moon in 16 Sagittarius Channels (sits in front of) a Cosmically Immense Weight (a place we can’t see, because it’s behind the Milky Way, that has such Immense Gravity that it’s sucking everything toward it; it’s called the Great Attractor, in 15 Sagittarius).

#2. Our Essence (the Full-Moon Sun in 16 Gemini) is sandwiched between the symbol for Ending Timelines (asteroid Atropos) and the symbol for our Held Emotions (asteroid Karma), those we’d rather Die than Feel.  That is, We would rather Die than Feel – Facing these Emotions requires an Ego Death.

#3. The Full Moon is Challenged (T-Squared) by Abuse and our Angry Memories thereof, and by our Guilt about our Privilege (Stationary dwarf planet Nessus [Abuse and Privilege] Conjunct Mars [Anger] in 14-16 Pisces).

However, the Abuse and Anger are Merged with the symbol for Sustainability (dwarf planet Ceres).  How would we make Anger and Abuse Sustainable?  We’d use PIAVAs and Healthy Anger – ie, Good Boundaries – to Recognize and Revert Abuse without Creating unnecessary Limitations for ourself and without Alienating non-Abusers.  Subtle and Sophisticated, but this Combination gives us the Opportunity to Practice Finessing such a thing.

It can also be an Opportunity for us to Practice Actions (Mars) that Sustain (Ceres) our Willingness to Receive Abundance without painting it with Privilege (Nessus) and Guilt (Mars).  To work on Letting Go of having to Deserve Abundance, and Recognizing it as our Birthright.

#4. The Full Moon is also Challenged (T-Squared) by Guilt (asteroid Nemesis) and Karmic Limitations (dwarf planet Orcus [Oath-Making and -Breaking])Karma is formed by making an Oath or Vow or Promise or Decision, working hard to toe the line, forgetting we made the Oath, and coming to Believe that toeing this line is not just a Decision, but the Right Thing to Do or even the Only Thing to Do (Orcus)A formal Oath adds Social Pressure.  This puts us into Either/Or Dualistic Morality, which excludes not just the Other Side of the Duality, but the Other Dimensions as well – Unconscious Limitations in other words.

We interpret this Energy (Nemesis) as the Painful Experience of Ego Death, or the Need for Ego Death because it’s our Olde Ego that stands between us and our PIAVAed Goals.  The Ego’s justification, Consciously or Unconsciously, for Avoiding a worthwhile Ego Death, is often Loyalty to a long-forgotten Oath (Orcus).  In other words, this is an Opportunity to Practice Liberation via Oath-Breaking.

That however, will bring the wrath of both Nemesis (Mystic Punisher of Wrong-Doers) and Orcus (Mythic Punisher of Oath-Breakers) upon us – which we will then have to Recognize as Ego Death, and Endure it while Focusing on the Unknown Freedom that lies on the Far Side of it.

But there’s Good News – this Heavy Issue #4 is Self-Resolving (a Diamond Star Configuration), so any Work we do on it is Extra Credit, and we may not have to do any Work at all.

Many of you have already figured out that we’ve described a Grand Cross, with is usually about many smallish Hassles that end up Complementing one another while we end up very busy keepin’ on keepin’ on, and practicing our multi-tasking.

But it’s still a very heavy chart for very heavy times.  The 5 June Full Moon, the 10 June Aletheia Station, and 12 June Nessus Station are all on the same chart (ie, their impacts may not be easily Separable from one another) because they all happen in the same week in nearly the same Degrees, 14-16 Degrees of their respective Signs.  As the beginning of a Lunar Phase we’d expect the Full Moon to impact at least the following two weeks; as an asteroid Station we’d expect the Aletheia Station to impact the preceding several days; as a dwarf-planet Station we’d expect the Nessus Station to impact at least the preceding week, and Overlap usually means Merging…

The Most Important Thing 4

May 21, 2020

 

In the land of the Deaf, the One-Eared is King.

 

For the 22 May 2020 (9:30 am PDT) New Moon in 3 Gemini, which applies to the next several weeks, we’re back to the 10 May Priorities Energy (Saturn Station) that we described in The Most Important Thing 2 post (the chart with the one-eared Flying Squirrel).

That was a week and a half ago, so some of the Players have Changed.  For instance, at that time Self-Love (asteroid Sappho) was the major Challenge (T-Square).  For the New Moon, the major Challenge is Manifestation (dwarf planet Makemake).  While the Object of the Challenge has changed, the Source (base of the T-Square) has not.  It’s our Life Path (Nodal Axis).

Yes, we absolutely believe in Destiny.  If you insist on remaining Unconscious.  The more Conscious we become, the more we replace Fate with Choice.  We each have a Life Mission (North Node), but it’s waaay more Multidimensional than our Dualistic Mind can grasp.  It doesn’t hurt to try, as long as you add “…or something like that” to every attempt.  In order to move toward our Life Mission, we need tools that we can only get by facing down our Held Emotions (South Node), the ones that We’d rather Die than Feel.

Oops, we put the accent on the wrong syl-ob‘ble (syllable).  It’s We’d rather Die than Feel – we don’t do Held Emotions without an Ego Death.  Ego Death is of course the second stage of Growth in Consciousness.  The first stage is Confusion, though there’s a lot of interbreeding between Ego Death and Confusion.  After the pregnancy, we Birth a new, more Conscious Ego, if we’re willing to do the Work.

Doing the Work has two parts.  The first is being willing to Tolerate our Confusion without Killing It – Killing Confusion means Trying to Figure Out (thinking) Why (again, thinking) we’re Confused so we can make it Go Away.  Confusion is an Emotion in its own right, and one of the more Powerful, if subtle, Emotions we have.  The Patriarchy gets its toxic aversion to Change by banning Confusion from polite company.   It’s not macho.

The second part of the Work is being willing to Sit Through our Ego Death without Running Away from it.  Sitting through Ego Death means Opening to whatever Emotions arise (not macho) and being Loving and Gentle (again, not macho) with them .

Yes, there will be Stories, but they aren’t necessary.  We can briefly Appreciate them, but we want to dismiss them quickly, so we can Pay as much Attention as possible to the Emotion.  The Stories are more thinking, and like Chocolate-covered quicksand, they’re totally Compelling, and difficult to escape from.  Addictive even.  How many people do you know who are Addicted to their Victim Stories?

What Victim Stories are You Addicted to?  They might make good material for you to practice on, Separating Emotion from Thinking, and using Sensation as a Guide to keep you Feeling and not Thinking.

There’s a good reason why the word Feeling applies both to Sensation and Emotion.

A good way to Open to an Emotion is to Locate it, or any Discomfort, in our Body, and put All of our Attention on that spot, while we watch what’s happening for us Emotionally.  Put your hand on that spot to warm it – Love is Soft and Warm, Fear is Cold and Hard.  If you can’t find the Emotion in your Body, or there are many Discomforts, just pick the most likely spot, while trying not to think about it.  You want to Feel it, not Think it.

Emotions don’t have grammatical Objects.  You’re never Angry At [xyz], you’re just Angry.  You’re never Sad About [abc], you’re just Sad.  The grammatical Objects we love to add to Feelings are thinking, not Feeling.  Putting an Object on an Emotion freezes you in Time, and Emotions are Timeless, especially Held or Karmic Emotions.  And if an Emotion is difficult for you to Tolerate, and difficult to Let Go Of, you can bet it’s Karmic.

When an Emotion is Karmic, its roots are not in the Current Lifetime, so dwelling on some Current-Lifetime Chagrin will never touch it.  And a Karmic Emotion will be cemented in by a zillion iterations, so if you have a Story about it from a different Lifetime, dwelling on that Story is just more Karmic masturbation.  It won’t Impregnate you with a new Ego that sports Expanded Consciousness.  Just more Thinking when you need Feeling.

When our Attention Wanders, as it will, frequently, we just Lovingly and Gently bring our Attention back to where there’s Discomfort in our Body.  No Judgment.  It Is What It Is.  When the Discomfort Moves, we’ve succeeded.  We can Follow it, if we still have Attention to spare, or we can Change the Subject, wait a while, and see that happens.

From https://astrobuss.wordpress.com/2012/11/05/curiosity-and-the-void-ii/

PIAVA, in case you’ve forgotten or tuned in recently, stands for Pray-Intend-Ask-Visualize-Affirm.  Each is basically similar, but some work better for some of the people some of the time…  The Magnetic Feminine manifestation process runs PIAVA, Change the Subject, Pay Attention.  You have to Change the Subject (or as the Buddhists put it, Lose Your Mind) because if you keep thinking about it, your Old Birdcage will constrain your Reality to be the way it’s always been.  And you have to Pay Attention because whenever you PIAVA anything, the first thing that the Universe provides is information about why you haven’t had what you’re asking for all along.”

As it was in our Priorities Energy, our Karma in the New Moon Energy is all about Recovering our Hidden and Forbidden Genius (South Node [Held Emotions] Conjunct dwarf planet Ixion [our Unique Genius]…) so we can “fix” Climate Change (…and dwarf planets Pholus [Are we Missing anything?] and Quaoar [Survival]).  This is a Unique Opportunity that occurs only every nineteen or so years, when our Hidden and Forbidden Genius and our Held Emotions Converge (South Node Conjunct Ixion).

We’re all troubled by Serious Problems that are much bigger than our usual Span of Control, be they Climate Change, outacontrolavirus, bumpstocks, coyotes, politics, clearcutting, Roundup, in-laws, oligarchies, taxes, overpopulation, locusts, food insecurity, pigshit lagoons, coal ash, people running around nude under their clothes, undsoweiter ecosìvia adinfinitum.

The fact that our Forbidden Genius is Verboten is almost certainly Karmic.  If you’ve ever had a Fantasy about having Superpowers and Fixing some Problem much larger than your usual Span of Control, or even publicly Expressing your Frustration about the Problem, you’re Touching your Forbidden Genius.

The World Mirrors our Inner Balance, so we all have our own Inner Climate Change process happening – we’re all Denying chronic Problems that we Believe are beyond our Span of Control because they’re hiding behind our Limiting Unconscious Beliefs.  We Deny them because it’s a healthy way to deal with Issues that would just overwhelm our current Ego.  And there’s a strong correlation between our Limiting Unconscious Beliefs and our Held Emotions.

To touch the Edges of your Held Emotions, Focus on What You Feel when you contemplate your Obsession with the Global or Personal Problems that seem to be beyond your Power to Change.

To touch the Edges of your Forbidden Genius, Focus on What You Feel when you have that Superpower Fantasy.

Then Change the Subject, and tune in tomorrow to see if anything Feels different.  Then rinse and repeat.

More to follow…

The Most Important Thing

May 9, 2020

If you can find and watch 24:30 through 35:00 of this video, you’ll be very Clear about The Most Important Thing…

If you don’t plan to spend much Future Time on this Planet, in your current Lifetime or others, then no worries.  If Life-Threatening Challenges are your Cuppa Tea, then no worries.  Otherwise, This is Big.  Compared to This, everything else is as Important as making mudpies.  So we highly recommend that you quit wasting Emotional and Physical Energy and Time fretting about the mudpies, and Commit yourself fully to The Most Important Thing.

Don’t worry about the details, just PIAVA to Lovingly and Gently come to Grok your Perfect Unique Role, in your own Time.  When you do find your Perfect Unique Role, it’ll be Great Fun, and not at all the Difficulty – or Impossibility – that you now imagine it to be.  It’s really true that If you aren’t part of the Solution you’re part of the Problem, so please, No Longer Lend Your Strength to That Which You Wish to Be Free From.

Of course your own The Most Important Thing must Arise from your own Heart, but we do need to warn that we’ll be Obsessing about our own personal The Most Important Thing till at least 9pm PDT on 10 May 2020 (when Saturn [The Most Important Thing] Stands Still in the Sky [Impacts us Strongly] at 2 Aquarius).  Oh, our Values will also be up for review till at least 11:45 pm 12 May (when Venus [Values] Stands Still in the Sky at 21 Gemini).  So lots of Self-Review.  Of course The Most Important Way to Approach The Most Important Thing is to monitor yourself to Avoid dwelling on WhatYouDon’tWant, so you can keep your Focus – which is what Creates your Future – on WhatYouDoWant.

Which, with everything (us included) Changing rapidly, means we can Expect to Experience Confusion fairly often.  Confusion isn’t my Favorite Emotion.  Which is why I’m working hard on Turning That Around, so Confusion becomes my Favorite Emotion.  Well, maybe my second-Favorite, after Ecstasy.  At any rate, Confusion is the first sign of Growth in Consciousness.  So it’s Precious.  Our Concept Set forms the skeleton for our Ego and rationalizes our Limiting Unconscious Beliefs (such as “Nothing I can do about that!“).  Positive Change is Available only when our Concept Set wavers and quivers – which means we Feel Confused.

 

Tweety is our Ego, the Cage is our Concept Set, and Sylvester is everything that’s Eliminated from our Life by our Unconscious Limiting Beliefs.  Notice how Tweety looks kind of Confused by what’s happening.

 

However, Growth in Consciousness only occurs when we don’t try to outsmart our Confusion.  (Tweety relies on her Instinctual Wisdom of Experience, not Mentality).  When we try to Figure Out what’s Confusing us and make it Go Away, we Lose our Opportunity for Growth.  Figuring It Out just regrouts the bricks in the walls of our Concept Set.  This is especially important here while the symbol for our Ego is still Merged with the symbol for our Confidence (Stationary Saturn [Ego] Conjunct dwarf planet Chariklo [Self-Confidence and Self-Doubt], which runs from December 2019 till January 2021).  I mean, what’s more Important to the Ego than Confidence?

We know Intuitively that nothing makes a Huper more Attractive to Other Hupers than Self-Confidence.  It makes Life so much easier when Others find us Attractive and want to curry our favor.  Confidence is far more Compelling than Competence – that’s how the Antichrist Bullied his way into Fame and Glory.  Self-Doubt is one of the biggest impediments to Abundance.  Unfortunately, many of us are Addicted to Self-Doubt.  We get there by failing to Embrace Ego Death.

The Antichrist gives us a Master Teaching at Avoiding Self-Doubt.  He just Reframes History, Effortlessly and Immediately.  We may not want to do it his way, but the Lesson is Valuable because it brings the Issue into the Light of Day.  The Issue is, Do we Create our own Reality or Not?  He’s obviously a Master at Creating a Surreality that fits him to a T.  History books are full of Masters at Creating their own Surrealities.  The Antichrist Demonstrates the process – just Create your own Surreality, and whenever it conflicts with Reality, quickly Adjust it.  His Goal is Adulation.  We could emulate his techniques for other Goals, such as Abundance (Having Enough to Share), a Livable Environment, a Collaborate Culture, Immunity to 5G and Granolaviruses, Ascension, or WhateverWeWant.

Doubt and Confusion are kissing cousins.  When we Fake our way out of Doubt we often get caught.  If we aren’t famous enough, that matters.  When we try to Fake our way out of Confusion by Figuring It Out, we also Create more Trouble for ourself.  Like any other Emotion, in order to Release it we need to Accept and Embrace it Exactly as it Is.  When we do that, we dispel it – we literally break the Spell that it has cast on us.

We get Unstuck by training ourself to Notice when we’re Feeling Confused, and then Consciously Celebrate it.  Getting Beyond our Limiting Unconscious Beliefs is necessary if we are pursuing Abundance, Ascension, Enlightenment, or virtually any other major Change in our Karma(Our Limiting Unconscious Beliefs, by the way, are symbolized by asteroid Vesta, and Vesta Conjoins Stationary Venus as we speak.  We talked about that a little in Values and Beliefs Full Moon.)  We should write about the Venus-Vesta Cycle, because…

The Dance between our Values, Beliefs, Desires, Emotions, and Thoughts – including what and how we Think about our Emotions – are very Important to our progress toward WhatWeWant.  Most of us are very Confused, without Realizing it, about the Difference between Our Emotions and Our Thoughts About Our Emotions.  Emotions happen in our Body.  The minute we move into our Head and begin Thinking About our Emotions, we’ve totally Abandoned both our Emotions and our Selves.  Yet we need to Align our Passion and our Thoughts in order to Manifest Cleanly.

Does any place in your Body hurt or Feel Uncomfortable right now?  Are you Able to Lovingly and Gently put your Total Attention into that place, and watch how it Changes?  How long can you do that without Thinking About how it Feels?  It’s fine to Think About how long we’re Holding our Attention there, as long as we’re Experiencing how it Feels, and not Labeling or Comparing (as Marshall Rosenberg liked to say, “Feels Like” expresses a Thought, not an Emotion) it, or Leaving the Present Moment.

Holding your Total and Unconditionally Loving and Gentle Attention on any Discomfort in your Body is one of the most Healing things you can do for it.  When you Notice that your Attention has Wandered, just quietly Bring It Back, without Judgment.  Notice if your Body has Created any Hardening around the Discomfort, as we often do in an effort to Separate Pain from our Identity.  If there is, Consciously Soften it.  That’ll Open the blood flow around the space, and accelerate the Body’s natural Healing.  That’s what Bodies do for a Living, if we let them.

Try doing the same with a Difficult Emotion.  Locate it in your Body, and give it Total Unconditionally Loving and Gentle Attention.  If you can do that without Labeling or Comparing it, or Leaving the Present Moment, you’ll find that the Discomfort dissolves the way it does when you Poor-Sweetheart yourself.  It’s quite Miraculous if you aren’t used to doing it.  When we Leave the Present Moment – “OMG, this reminds me of…” or “What will happen if…” – we’re Thinking About the Emotion, not Feeling it, Experiencing it, or Giving it our Attention.  We’re Abandoning the Emotion and our Self.

Not that it isn’t useful to Anal-yze how any Discomfort fits into your TimeLines.  For instance, Realizing that an Unpleasant Feeling is another Mirror for a Childhood Trauma, can in a few seconds help to Heal both the Discomfort and the PTSD.  And Realizing that some Discomfort that’s Arising is a clue about why we aren’t instantly Manifesting something we just PIAVAed, can in a few seconds help to melt our Resistance to that Manifestation.

Remember that if we aren’t ready to Manifest something that we’ve PIAVAed, the first thing the Universe will do is give us an Illustration of why we aren’t ready.

But we need to Learn to instantly Recognize the Difference between our Emotions and our Thoughts About them.  A Healthy Emotion Arises and then Dissipates, Informing us about something Important in the process.  If there’s no Dissipation, it’s because we’ve shifted from Feeling it to Thinking About it.  That can Freeze Emotions for years, Creating and Deepening Karma in the process.  When we get stuck on an Emotion it’s almost always already Karmic, and every time we Think About it instead of Feeling it, we cement the Karma in place more firmly.

Karmic Emotions are Held Emotions, the ones We’d rather Die than Feel.  So it’s a natural, Healthy Reaction to find any way we can to Avoid that, including shifting transparently from Feeling to Thinking.  If you’ve been reading this blog long, you know that “We’d rather Die than Feel that” is a misrepresentation.  It’s what we Experience, but it’s an Illusion.  It’s really “We’d rather Die than Feel that” – yes, We, our Ego, our current Identity, has to Die in order for us to Feel that.  That’s how Karma works.  The Ego’s job is to keep us Alive and Well, so this works well.

Except when we Want to Change or Manifest something that’s not already in our Karma, and then we need to Tolerate or even Court Ego Death in order to get beyond our Limiting Unconscious Beliefs.  In fact, Ego Death becomes The Most Important Thing.  It doesn’t even matter if the Planet has been Destroyed, because we in fact Create our own Reality, as a Mirror for our Internal Self-Love processes, so we’ll just Re-Create it in our Image.

We’ll talk more about these things, and how Confusion and Curiosity (the Quincunx and Finger of the Goddess) relate to one another, when we look at tomorrow’s Saturn Station chart in detail.

Under the Blanket 2

April 26, 2020

Like the Zodiac, Signs are divided into twelve sections.  These are called “Duads,” each 2½ Degrees wide.  The first Duad of Capricorn is the “Capricorn Duad of Capricorn,” the second the “Aquarius Duad of Capricorn,” etc.  By “coincidence,” the current span of Pluto’s Retrogradation is within an arcminute or two of spanning Exactly one 2½-Degree “Duad” – the ninth Duad of Capricorn, 22½ to 25 Degrees, is the Virgo Duad.

Virgo is the Sign of Ego Death.  Leo is the epitome of the Individual Ego, Libra is all about Meeting Other, and Virgo spans the Gap between them.  You could even think of Virgo as the Sign of the Necessity for the Realization that We Are All One, the Sign where we Recognize what Stephanie was talking about the other day – that “The coronavirus is a reflection of a deeper and even more deadly disorder, the illusion of Separation.”

As we all know by now, the first sign of Growth in Consciousness is Confusion.  If anything is Confusing, it’s Meeting Other.  “Other” of course is Not Me, so it begins with a big strike against it.  Just consider the Landings, when Aliens from Out There come to visit – how many movies are there about that?  How often do they end well?  How do you keep Fear from trying to Destroy Them before They Destroy you?

But what if they Pretend to be Friendly?  Will we ever lose our Mistrust?  If they do Nice Things for us, will we Want More?  Of course we will!  What if they want Nice Things from us?  Will we even Realize that, if we don’t even know what Other is?  Boundaries!  That’s really Confusing!  Just dealing with someone from a different family is a constant Challenge, one that you know well if you’ve ever been married, unless you live in a very rigid Culture and you’re both Bots.

What if they don’t like what we Give them?  If they do like it, will we ever be able to get rid of them when we Want our Space?  Libra, and the Rehearsal in Virgo, make Leo look sooo Easy!

In an Unenlightened Leo, Other exists only as supporting actors for the One and Only Me.  There’s a perfect example in the News every day, and there’s a reason for that.  In an Enlightened Leo, Ego exists only to Serve the Whole.  Compare Jim Morrison with Fred Rogers.  Either way, Leo comes to an end, and after that Peak…

What comes next?  Confusion?  There is no Guidebook, no Mentors, for Virgo.  You’re on your own.  And that Leo Ego has to Break.  It has to Open Up to More, when there is no More.

Virgo can have a Reputation for being Critical.  How else do you Break Open an Ego?  You sure can’t do it with Praise, though it’s the only language that Leo understands.  So how do we even Communicate with ourself once that Bulwark starts to Break?  Virgo is a Wilderness, a Walkabout, a Vision Quest, and it’s not Optional.

Capricorn is Grounded and Practical.  The Anthem we use for Capricorn is Just Fix It.  Capricorn knows how to Fix anything.  Okay, we’re in a Wilderness with no maps.  Where do we find Water?  Is it Safe to drink?  Can we start a Fire?  What will we Eat, where will we Sleep – is it Safe to Sleep here?  Is anyone else here?  Hello??  If only I knew the Rules!

Well, that’s just where we are, isn’t it.

Our Planet is acting like it’s trying to Shake us Off, like we’ve Overstayed our Welcome – and we have, haven’t we.  What host would invite us back if we Trashed their House the way Hupers continue to Trash our Mother’s House?  If we have any Integrity at all, we’d try to “turn over a new Leaf,” wouldn’t we.  We’d do a Searching and Fearless Moral Inventory, and find out what it is exactly that we need to Change if we ever want to be Welcome in Polite Company again.  Where do we Start?  You really don’t Like me?  It’s so Confusing.  I don’t know what to do.

It must be someone else’s fault.  If I work that angle, can I get away with it?  It’s Unconstitutional!  That’s it.  It’s Unconstitutional.  I haven’t figured out Who yet, but they’re trying to take our guns.  Our jobs.  Rape our daughters.  Frying our Brains with Microwaves.  Making evil test-tube viruses.  We’re All Gonna Die!  Oh, yeah, that’s right, it’s Ego Death, isn’t it.

A friend wrote, remembering how the Universe had bounced them around in the past.  We agreed…

“Yes, we use 12-Step processes to break our Addiction to ‘Control’ (mostly the Higher Power thing, though Fearless Inventories never hurt), roll with the punches as best we can, Listen to the ‘Suggestions’ that the Universe is so generously Giving us, and begin moving toward them as best we can instead of continuing to protect our Olde Egoe.”

Pluto is about Compulsion, Transformation, Trance Reformation.  Pluto is anything but Shallow.  Like its Alter Ego Scorpio, no Stone is left unturned.  We were just thinking we had it all figured out (Leo Duad of Capricorn) when the bottom fell out (Pluto entered Virgo Duad of Capricorn in early January 2020) and suddenly We’re All Gonna Die!  And most of us, except David Geffen, are dealing with a shitstorm of assaults on our Ego.  Job Identity disappears, maybe Health Insurance with it, just when we may need it most.  Without the Sears catalog we might have to go back to corncobs and Mullein leaves.  It’s dangerous to shop for groceries!  What kind of Decade is this?  Is this what the Age of Aquarius is supposed to be like?

This is the Dawn of the Digital Age?  Remember that the Preview of the Digital Age was 2000-2020.  We began that with a big economic crash, and we’re doing it again as the 180-year Real Thing begins.  What do we expect, if the Machines do Everything?  That the 99.9% will be able to just Relax and watch?  The Truthteller here was Bernie, but they were too comfortable to Pay Attention.  Without major Changes to the World’s Political Systems, we’re back to Dickens’s 19th Century London, after they Closed the Commons, without any remaining “unoccupied” Lands to emigrate to.

How do we Cope?  We Embrace Ego Death.  It’s “What’s Happening.”

In some cultures relying on the Grace of Other – or the Goddess – is a Sacred pursuit.  Pluto will be Dancing with Ego Death (the Virgo Duad of Capricorn) till February 2021.  The symbol for Ego Death itself (asteroid Nemesis), in the Sign of Ego Death (Virgo, and in the Capricorn Duad of Virgo), is very Strong (Stationary) until at least 30 April.  The symbol for Self-Doubt (dwarf planet Chariklo) is very Strong (Stationary) until at least 2 May (in the Sagittarius Duad of Capricorn [Letting Go]).  Emotions are Strung Out for the next several days (Moon Out of Bounds 11am PDT 27 April through 5:30 am 29 April).  Heavy Times.

Besides Allowing our Identity to Morph, our Soul is available to help (Sun Conjoins Uranus 2am PDT 26 April; Mercury Conjoins Uranus 9pm PDT 30 April).  Many have Channeled the coronavirus’s purpose, and the most comprehensive one I’ve seen is by Jeff Vander Clute.  It begins…

https://jeffvanderclute.com/articles/a-message-from-the-coronavirus/

My friends, it is true that I am here to bring closure to the inharmonious ways of being that are causing harm to humans and the whole web of life.  All the same, I am not a vengeful being or anything that is intended to be destructive.  I am simply the rebalancing agent in the overall equation of life’s evolutionary process.  By fighting me with fear in your hearts, you oppose the larger natural systems and cause me to take other forms.

“What I am, and my fundamental purpose, will not be deterred, for I am life itself acting through the available forms of distribution.  The virus that you see me as is one of an endless series of permutations.  This kind of process is one of the ways I innovate life forms and deliver new DNA sequences that will eventually be shown to be helpful. 

“The back and forth between humanity’s collective immune system and the virus is raising consciousness as humans examine their interactions, and it is literally increasing the intelligence of the superorganism that is the species as a whole.

“These tests are normal.  I repeat: these tests are normal.  For those who can hear this message and embrace me easily, you already know that fear is a much more lethal poison.  For those who will not be comforted by these words, one day you will know that I come as an act of love. 

“When you can open to the love that is at the very heart of this situation, the crisis that your media and governments decry will transform into a flower of life, spreading new consciousness and multiplying circles of cooperation.  Pay attention to your thoughts and see if you can identify the benefits of redirecting humanity’s attention from incessant wars and violence to the common ‘enemy’ that I am willing to be perceived as.

“Love will go this far, and farther, to bring healing to the mind of a young species that is still in the process of remembering itself as a divine incarnation.  Yes, you are a divine incarnation capable of fabricating realities based on goodness and beauty and compassionate understandings, actions, and beliefs. 

“Believe me when I say that I, too, am here as an act of compassion.  Accepting me in this way will lighten your heavy burden, for the divine sends only love your way.  Sometimes this love takes curious forms in order to circumvent your intricate defenses against waking up to your own glory.  I can assure you that the most functional strategy will be to embrace me as a friend of the human family...”

It’s becoming apparent that COVID-19 severity and 5G radiation are closely related.  A Worldwide event of this severity may be required to get Huperity to Recognize that Biology is an Electromagnetic process as well as a Biochemical one.  Or to Recognize that Conscious Entities are not “Resources” that can be Exploited at will for Private Profit, but must be counterparties to Negotiation and Collaboration.  If we as a Species don’t figure these things out, then the Digital Age may rapidly drive Sensitivity and Empathy to Extinction, leaving a Planet of Bots and Borgs.  Even Bionic Bots and Borgs will themselves eventually Die Out, as they’ll be subject to Entropy rather than the Syntropy of Living Organisms.  The many Great Extinctions, like Atlantis, demonstrate that Mother Earth knows how to shake off Unsustainable trends.

The 25 April Pluto Station is Merged with the astrological symbol for Growth and Expansion (Conjunct Jupiter).  This Growth in our Trance Re-Formation is Challenged by (T-Square to) the Need for a Rebirth into Consciousness of What’s been Hidden from us (dwarf planet Haumea [Rebirth] Opposite Mercury [Awareness] and dwarf planet Eris [Revelation of What’s Being Denied])Here’s the chart…

(Pluto is mislabeled as SD; it should be SR.)

Intuition, Choice, Self-Sovereignty

March 19, 2020

Or, Intellect, Fate, Codependence.  I’m told by otherwise reliable sources that our Mitochondria have direct access to all of the Information in the Universe, but that this access can be blocked by Toxins and Held Emotions.  Fate is what happens to us when we’re Victims of our Karma – that is, when our Held Emotions Limit the scope of our Reality.  Most of our Held Emotions are Unconscious, hidden behind our Judgments.  As in…

I would do anything for Love, but I won’t do that!

It’s not the 3D Reality of that! which stops us.  It’s the Emotion.  Simply put, it’s not that We’d Rather Die than Do that! – it’s actually that We’d Rather Die than Feel thatBut guess what…  It’s Karmic, it’s not Present Moment.  So what that! would you not Do for Love?  Right now you’re Safe, Right?  No Alligators within snapping distance, Right?  Ok, so Imagine yourself Doing thatYou might feel Beside Yourself, maybe with the Edge of a Cold Sweat?  But you ain’t Dead.

So now, Tap it Out…

“Even though I’d Rather Die than Do that! I Deeply and Completely Love and Accept Myself…” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QzVd6Ww0as4,

and Ground yourself…

Imagine extending a Cable from the base of your Spine and Anchoring it to the Center of the Earth, then https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ao4xdDK9iE.

Feeling more like your usual self?  Good.  Now, take a few minutes and Imagine How You’ll Feel if you actually did that!

Now, first notice that you’re still Alive, assuming you are, and then Tap It Out and Ground Yourself again…

“Even though my Ego will have to Molt before I can be comfortable Feeling that! again, I Deeply and Completely Love and Accept Myself…”

Check in with yourself several times over the next few days, and see if your Judgment has Changed at all.  If you did this for Real, it should Open your Intuition a bit.

So, what’s going on astrologically, is a Big Opening in our Relationship to our Fate (Station of asteroid Moira [Fate and Choice] in 20 Scorpio, 21 March 2020, 5:20 pm PDT).  Fate happens to us when we’re Unconscious.  Once we’re Conscious of our Karma, Fate becomes Choice.  Becoming Conscious of our Karma is actually pretty easy – just make a list of all the things in your Life so far that you Didn’t Enjoy, then rank them by How Much you Didn’t Enjoy them.

Power and Healthy Control is often a Biggie.  Do you Feel Good when you have to Take Control of a situation?  Feel Guilty afterward?  Or in Judgment about how dumb those people were that they couldn’t do it themselves?  How about when you’re Expressing your Feelings and someone tells you how to Fix It?  Or when someone tries to Control your Actions or Behavior?  Are you able to tell them to Butt Out without Offending anyone?  And Feel Okay afterward, without Guilt or Judgment?

“It is all right to destroy the things you seem to love but secretly hate.  In fact, it may be necessary to do so.”
—Clark Strand and Perdita Finn, The Way of the Rose, p.91.

Stationary asteroid Moira [Fate/Choice] is one foot of the Finger of God [Pay Attention!] in a Diamond Star [Self-Resolving Challenge formed by a Finger of God and a T-Square pointing at the same planet].  The Focus of the Diamond Star is dwarf planet Asbolus [Intuition].  The other foot of the Finger of God is dwarf planet Hylonome [Self-Sovereignty].  The base of the T-Square is the Opposition between Neptune [the Intangible] and asteroid Nemesis [Ego Death].

There’s a lot more going on here (in the Moira Station chart), but I’m out of time, so I’ll plan to continue tomorrow.

 

Manifestation New Moon

February 26, 2020

The 23 February 2020 (7:30 am PST) New Moon chart, which is prominent for the next several weeks, is pretty much a repeat of the chart of the 19 February Five Moons Enhanced Creativity astroevent (see https://astrobuss.wordpress.com/2020/02/16/five-moons-enhanced-creativity/).

One emphasis will be on Manifestation (a Diamond Star or Self-Resolving Challenge to dwarf planet Makemake), although we’ll be Asked to Take a Great Deal of Responsibility for our own Negativity whenever the Manifestation isn’t Effortless (the Makemake Diamond Star Opposes Chiron-Lilith [Overcoming Victimhood] and Squares the Nodes [it’s a Life Lesson for us], with Mars, Veritas, Pholus, and Quaoar on the South Node [We Have to Face Facts about whether we’re Being Fully, Proactively Responsive to our Survival Instincts]).

Remember that Responsibility isn’t Blame.  Blame is about looking at the Past to Assign Fault, while Responsibility is about looking to the Future to Improve Outcomes.

If we’re Listening, our Inner Voices will be telling us (dwarf planet OR10 [Intrusive Memories] closely Conjunct [Merged With] the New Moon, at the focus of a Finger of God [Pay Attention!]) which Held Emotions – the ones we’d rather Die than Feel – are Inhibiting our Creativity (the South-Node Stellium [Karma] is part of two Tricolor Configurations [Healing Opportunities]), especially our Creativity at Enhancing our Vitality (the Challenge [Square] side of the Tricolor is Uranus [Soul] Square to Varuna [Life Force]).

Held Emotion is a synonym for Karma – our Ego has a severe Allergic Reaction to certain Feelings or Scenarios, often those that were associated with Past Deaths or other serious Traumas.  By and large we’ve Suppressed the original Traumas, so we’re just left with a serious Aversion to anything that reminds us of the Triggering Event.  That is, Negative Karma is “just” unhealed PTSD.

We need to Reframe our Reaction from “I would rather Die than Feel (or Do) That!” to “I would rather Die than Feel (or Do) That!” – in other words, it’s not really about the Emotion or Scenario, it’s about Identity:  Letting Go of the crippling Karma requires an Ego Death.  We need to Recognize that “I’d rather Die than Feel that!” is never Present-Moment, so it’s not only Safe to metaphorically Let Ourself Go Ahead and Die, but it’s our only Path to Liberation from our Karmic Chains.

Tapping can be very useful in this endeavor – “Even though I’d Rather Die than Feel/Do [this or that], I Deeply and Completely Love and Accept Myself.”

It will be better if we forgo trying to Analyze exactly what it is we’re Resisting, just to Acknowledge our Resistance (we Trigger the Trine [Grace] side of a Tricolor, and heal the Square [Challenge] side of it, by making sure we Avoid Analyzing the Quincunx [Curiosity] side of it).

Here’s the New Moon chart…

In the Major Tricolor [Square-Quincunx-Trine] here, the Square [Challenge] is Uranus-to-Varuna [Soul Granting or Withholding Vitality], the Trine [Grace] is Uranus-to-South-Node-Stellium [Honesty about what’s Stressing Us], and the Quincunx [Mandatory Curiosity] is South-Node-Stellium-to-Varuna [Stress on our Life Force].  So we need to Acknowledge the Stress on our Vitality, without trying to Understand it.  We can Identify it suffixed with “…or something like that,” or we can just Poor-Sweetheart ourself – “You Poor Sweetheart, your Life Force Feels Low, doesn’t it” and not worry about Why it might be.

In the Minor Tricolor [Square-Quincunx-Sextile], the Uranus-to-Varuna Square is the same [Lack of Vitality or Difficulty Manifesting], but the Sextile [Grace after we take the First Step] is New-Moon-OR10-to-Uranus [Recognizing that those Intrusive Memories are sent by the Soul to Help us Heal] and the Quincunx is New-Moon-OR10-to-Varuna [the Intrusive Memories will Inform our Healing – but only if we don’t try to Pin Them Down Intellectually].  The Issues Involved in these Tricolor Configurations are too complex to be Grokked by the Dualistic Mind, so we need to Avoid trying to Pin Them Down like we would a Dead Butterfly.

There are two other minor but potentially Meaningful astroevents occurring on 25 February.

Our Hidden and Forbidden Genius (dwarf planet Ixion) has graduated from a quarter-century of Shedding its Prohibitions (Ixion in Sagittarius), and will now begin a new 25 years of Doing Serious Work in the World (Ixion in Capricorn).  This is an Important Milestone, as our Forbidden Genii are Exactly the Skills we all need to use if we are to Succeed in Keeping our Planet Habitable.

It will be a halting Beginning, but a Beginning nonetheless.  We will have to go back into our Prohibitions a couple of times to Retrieve the Tools of our Genius Trade, but as Jack and Dean would have put it, we are On The RoadFrom 4 May till 10 September 2020, and from 16 July to 12 September 2021, Ixion Retrogrades back into Sagittarius.

Our Skill at Squelching Self-Sabotaging Habits becomes much more Down-to-Earth (asteroid Atropos enters and crosses Taurus) between 25 February and 6 May 2020 (no Atropos Retrograde periods in Taurus).  We’ve been Toying with (Visualizing, really) Changing Negative Patterns, but now we’ll get down to Business and Jettison them for good.

To jumpstart this process, Frequently put your Attention on How You’ll Feel when you’ve Let Go Of these No-Longer-Welcome Companions, including any and all Habits and Addictions you wish to Shed, no matter how Tenacious they’ve been in the Past.  The Power is now on your side.  And while these Habits are Destructive to you now, they served you well at some point in the Past, so finding Gratitude for their Service will also be helpful.  You don’t need to know When or Why, just know that you wouldn’t have them now if they weren’t Powerfully Useful to some version of “you” at some point.

There will be a couple of Red-Letter Days (more likely, the Week prior to them) during this process…

  • Around 6 March, we will be able to bring the Full Power of our Soul to bear on these Obsolete Patterns (Atropos crossing Uranus).  Take advantage of this – queue up your Most Persistent Curses for Exorcism during the first week of March.
  • Around 1 May, we will be able to Tackle our Greatest Fears and put them in their place on the wall next to the rest of our Big-Game Trophies (Atropos crossing dwarf planet Sedna).  Tapping and Kegels work very well for Grounding ourself in the Presence of Skin-Crawling Fear.

See the source image

Finally, we’re  entering the Grip of a couple of Strong Energies.  Our Intuition will be very Strong (dwarf planet Asbolus Stationary) until 1 March, and our Skill at Transcending whatever we are Done With (asteroid Bee-Zed Stationary) will also be very Strong over the same period.

Self-Love Full Moon

February 8, 2020

A few of the Players have changed Partners, but otherwise the chart for the 8 February 2020 (11:30 pm PST) Full Moon is identical to the lovely symmetrical chart for the 5 February Self-Deprecation Squall (https://astrobuss.wordpress.com/2020/02/01/possible-self-deprecation-squall/), which hopefully for youalls turned out to be a Self-Love Squall.

We still have a Major Challenge (T-Square) to our Unconscious Limitations (asteroid Vesta), which is always fabulous, as long as we Recognize that it’s our Limits that are Threatened and not our Ego.  This one will be more In-Our-Face than the mid-week event (the base of this T-Square is the Full Moon itself, which is a junior SuperMoon; the base of the 5 February T-Square was Sun/ Essence Opposing asteroid Lachesis/Conscious-Pattern-Breaking).

And while our Codependence or Self-Sovereignty was Challenged mid-week (T-Square to Jupiter and dwarf planet Hylonome), the Full Moon will Challenge our Wannas and Gottas (T-Square to Pluto) themselves.  This is about the New Bravery Zeitgeist (https://astrobuss.wordpress.com/2020/01/11/where-are-we-then/).  The more we Resist our Wannas and Self-Loving Gottas, the more we Resist our Brave New World (No matter how hard you Resist, Pluto always Wins).

Unfortunately, our Obsolete Self-Deprecating Gottas are often loaded with Guilt and other Brakes on our Journey into Unconditional Self-Love.  But if we override the Brakes and take a Self-Abusive Gotta too seriously, we could end up burning Bridges that we Need.  It would be a good time to PIAVA the best of both Worlds.  Maybe something like…

“God/Goddess, Creator of All Things, I Command a Loving and Gentle and Smooth Transition from my Old Scarcity Identity to my New Abundance Identity.  It Is Done, It Is Done, It Is Done.  Thank you, God/Goddess.  Show me!”

And as we described a few posts back (https://astrobuss.wordpress.com/2020/02/01/possible-self-deprecation-squall/), if your “Show me” isn’t Paydirt, Tap it Out, adjust your Command if necessary, and try again.

Midweek, our Sovereignty was Challenged by our Karma and our Self-Love (asteroids Karma and Sappho Opposing one another in the T-Square base).   Now we’re Challenged to End our Karma by Opening to “New” Information and Lovingly Expanding our Consciousness to Encompass It (asteroid Atropos/Consciously-Ending-Obsolete-Habits, dwarf planet Eris/Revelation-of-What’s-Been-Denied and asteroid Karma Opposing Stationary asteroids Juno/Growth-in-Consciousness and Sappho/Self-Love in the base of the T-Square).

The information we’ll be Receiving is “New,” in quotes, because we knew it all along, our Old Identity just didn’t Allow ourself to Acknowledge it.  This morning for instance, I discovered that when I’m interrupted while concentrating deeply, my behavior and tone of voice are “vicious.”  I didn’t know that.  In retrospect I can see it.  In the moment, all I’m trying to do is Protect the Space that I’m concentrating in (Channeling these posts, for instance, or juggling several tasks at once), so I don’t lose the plot.  Knowing this now, I can retrain myself to smile, raise a finger, and say “Please Wait?!?!” or the like.

The deed to the ranch is still Working with our Higher Powers, Guides, and Guardian Angels (Neptune as the key Player at the Apex of the Chrysalis and the Finger of God from Moon and Juno).  So it will behoove me to enlist them in this Behavior Change, with a Theta Command or other PIAVA, to make sure I stay Conscious for Interruptions while I’m Concentrating, because my Trance can obviously get pretty Deep in those circumstances.  I may even end up drastically Changing the way I use that Trance.  What if I could use if for Direct Healing?

Here’s the Full Moon chart…

There are three Stationary planets in this chart.  Sappho was Stationary on 5 February, and it loosely Conjoins the 8 February (10am PST) Juno Station.  The third Station, of dwarf planet Sedna/Converting-Fear-to-Power also occurs 8 February (7:30 pm PST).  Here’s the chart of the Juno and Sedna Stations…

The Juno and Sedna Stations Quincunx/Curiosity one another, and because the Sedna Station stretches the Sensitivity of the Juno Station, Juno Conjoins dwarf planet Haumea/Rebirth, making our Expansion of Consciousness potentially Life-Changing.

In these two extra-credit astroevents that accompany the Full Moon, the Big Challenge (T-Square) to how we Balance our Wannas and Gottas (Pluto) gets more complicated.  Now it becomes The Most Important Thing (it’s joined by Saturn and…), and it’s Critical to how we Balance our Self-Confidence and Self-Doubt (…dwarf planet Chariklo/Self-Assurance).

Since this is the Heart of the New Zeitgeist, it means that our Expanded Consciousness must Bravely Acknowledge Self-Doubt and Fear when they arise, so they can be Reframed into Confidence that by combining Vulnerability and Research we can Resolve the Doubt and Embrace the Fear, and no longer Introject Doubt into our IdentityWouldn’t that be the Cat’s Pyjamas!

These two events also add another Big Challenge, this time to our Skill with Ego Death (T-Square to asteroid Nemesis/Ego Death).  Of course we’re going to be working with Ego Death, as Transformative as these Challenges seem to be.  It’s a complicated Challenge (the base of the T-Square finds dwarf planets Chaos/Unlimited-Potential and Asbolus/Intuition Opposing Mars, dwarf planet Ixion/Forbidden-Genius, and asteroid Bee-Zed/ Transcendence).  Which means that, if we’re Willing to Let Go Of our Resistance to Ego Death, we can glimpse the Wonders that our Forbidden Genius can Manifest for us.

Finally, we need to Recognize that Converting Fear to Power is a strong theme here, and be Watchful for it.  Remember near the beginning of this post, where we mentioned our “Old Scarcity Identity?”  That’s Scare-City.   We need to trade it in on a Joyful New Abundance Identity…

Fortunately, our work Converting Fear to Power (Sedna Station), and both of the Big Challenges (Foci of the two T-Squares) – our Confidently Brave New Identity (Saturn-Pluto-Chariklo) and our Willingness to Endure Ego Death (Nemesis), are all joined at the hip with Great Grace (Grand Trine/ Impossibly-Good-Luck).  So we may not actually have to Endure the Ego Death – it may just “happen,” and we may sail through it with little or no Discomfort, as it did for my vicious Evil Twin this morning.  It will pay, though, to be Proactive (Mars).  Don’t sit on it, take a Deep Breath and Bravely start a conversation about it.

Changes

January 15, 2020

This week we’re diving expeditiously into the many Changes we’ll be making as we adapt to this Brave New Zeitgeist (Saturn-Pluto), New Integration with Soul (Uranus in Taurus), and New Vulnerability (dwarf planet Eris).

Imagine that your Ego is like a suit of clothes.  You use some of your clothes for Self-Expression, some for Comfort, some for specific Tasks.  You usually Change them when your Objective Changes, though sometimes you can’t, or just don’t.  But can you really Relax in your Work clothes?  How much contrast is there between your Self-Expression clothes, your Lolling-About costumes, your Work outfits, and your Sunday-Go-To-Meeting clothes?  How inconvenient, or embarrassing – or even maybe dangerous to your reputation – is it to get caught in the wrong circumstances with the wrong outfit?

That’s the way we wear our Egos.  Ego is a Tool, like clothes.  We have and use different Roles for different circumstances, we Change them like clothes, and sometimes we get caught wearing the wrong Ego for the job we’re called to do.  We even come up against places where we Wonder if we even have a suitable Ego for some New situation at all, or for some Old one that’s always given us trouble (Pluto-Chariklo).  It felt like that for me last week, while everything was so topsy-turvy.  It Feels more Comfortable this week so far, but that may be Temporary.

As we get close to 17 January 2020, we could run into what we usually refer to as Ego Death – a place where the Ego outfit that we’ve always worn for some job, clearly doesn’t fit at all.  Or worse, a place where we’re face-to-face with one of those Emotions that We’d Rather Die Than Feel.  Where whatever Confidence we had dissolves, and we’re Overcome by Inadequacy, Grief, Anger, Guilt, Fear, Doubt, and Shame, all at once, and we’d crawl in a hole if one was handy.  It feels like we’ve met our “Nemesis.”  If we’re really lucky, when it happens we’ll be somewhere where we can curl up in the fetal position and hide under the covers.

We really should practice with these Feelings, so we get more Comfortable with them, Savor them even, because they’re Portals into Growth of Consciousness.  Maybe you can practice receiving them as an Opportunity this week.  At 4:30 am PST on 17 January, the Influence peaks of the asteroid that’s in charge of these Transitions, from Comfortably in Denial to Horribly Discomfortable in Realization (asteroid Nemesis Stationary, in 27 Virgo, the Sign of Ego Death; the chart is complex, and closely tied to last weekend’s Saturn-Pluto-Chariklo – we’ll try to find time to take it apart soon).

With the Zeitgeist  and our own Energy Body so drastically New, we need to Expect a lot of these kinds of Changes, as we Adjust to the Changes.

2020 The Year… 3

December 31, 2019

A friend writes…

Been imagining lately, and this is sort of metaphysically far-fetched, but, if our reality really is malleable, and if it really is created by the thoughts of the collective masses, then, if enough people could imagine healing what has been damaged, then, could we actually magically clean the waters…?”

Which clarifies my thoughts about the previous post…

“Unfortunately, our Unconscious Thoughts have more Power than our Conscious Thoughts, which is why we need so badly to Embrace our Held Emotions.  Anything in us that is flying under our radar, is in Control.  Do we seek Justice, or do we seek Peace?  The Bottom Line [in the previous post] appears to be how we deal with our Abuse.  It has to be from Unconditional Self-Love, Taking our Power, and Respect for All Things.  And yes, if we knew how to do this we would have done it long ago, so we also need to Surrender to the Larger Process, whatever that is, and let the Heart’s Light Guide us, NOT the mind…”

If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you know that we place emphasis on the Stations – the times when a planet appears, from our vantage point on Earth as we go ’round the Sun, to Slow Down then Stop and then Turn Around and go the other way.  We emphasize Stations this because we’ve Observed that the influence of the planet is very Strong at these times.  So when we look at a chart, the Stations and the T-Squares are what we look for first, because in our Experience they’re prominent in how we Experience the chart.

A planet is “Stationary” when it’s moving very Slowly, and its “Exact Station” is when it Stops.  As for the influence of the Station upon us, it in general increases as we get closer to the Exact Station, then abruptly decreases.  However, if we don’t Realize that we’re being overly influenced by the Station, then we can make Decisions to Protect our Ego, and those Decisions can impact our Lives far beyond the Exact Stations, in some cases becoming new Karma (this Decision process describes the impact of dwarf planet Orcus, which is Lit Up in the recent Vesta Station chart which is part of the 1 January 2020 complex).

For the 1 January 2020 chart, the chart for the “birth” of the Year and the Decade, we’ve already talked about the Station of dwarf planet Makemake, which symbolizes Manifestation.  To use it as an example, Makemake is Challenged (T-Squared) by our Held Emotions or Existing Karma (Jupiter-South Node), the Emotions we’d rather Die than Feel.  That’s not usually a Physical Death, though it certainly can be.  When we feel like “I’d rather Die!” we’re usually putting the emphasis on the  Die  part.  But it’s actually on the  I  part, because “I’d rather Die” is an Expression of the Need for an Ego Death, or a Molt of our Identity.

Ego Deaths are not pleasant, simply because we feel like we’re Dying, and in fact, We Are, because our Ego is who we Believe ourselves to Be, and when our Ego Dies, “We” Die.  When the process works, we Molt, the Sun comes back up and we become Reborn, after which we Identify as a New, more Comprehensive Ego.  Other than Feeling Dazed, we don’t usually conceptualize our Molts that way.  If we can possibly Reprogram ourself to Recognize the symptoms of Ego Death while we’re in the throes, and then Focus on Who We Might Become Later instead of How Miserable We Feel at that moment, we may be able to become Adept at the process, making Life incredibly Easier and more “Productive,” where by “Productive” we mean moving toward Enlightenment more expeditiously.

That doesn’t mean we can skip the Feeling Miserable part – we get to Rising Above Feeling Miserable only by Diving Deeply into it.  Only when we can be Neutral about All of our Emotions (including Arrogance), when we can Receive them as Information about what’s going on (e.g., Arrogance doesn’t mean we’ve become Enlightened, it means we’re being Overinflated), rather than Merging our Identity with our Emotions and/or becoming their Victim, only then will we approach the “Ascension” we Want for the Planet, and make our own effective Contribution to its Collective Energy.

For example, the Makemake/Manifestation Challenge that we talked about in the earlier post, had “something to do with” (Quincunx/Curiosity) Abuse and Privilege (Nessus).  So, maybe (Quincunx again) if we can’t extract ourself from Merging totally with our Abuse Memories and find our Observer Self to look back at ourself and Witness our Regressed and Present-Moment Emotions (perhaps by for instance, Poor-Sweethearting ourself, or using a trick like Asking what color is the wallpaper) and Accept these Emotions Compassionately and Fully, maybe we might make a Decision Never to Allow Ourselves to be Vulnerable again or something like that.

Well, a Decision or Vow like that, carried forward, will cause us to miss out on many of the best parts of Living.  Chances are, since Abuse has been a prominent characteristic of Huperity since the Beginning of Time, that was how we Created our Karma in the first place, eons ago.

Or, maybe rather than Feeling Gratitude for Good Fortune, we patted ourself on the back and Gloated about our Superiority, and we made a Decision that Ripping off our “Inferiors” was a great way to Enjoy Life, and got Attached to our Privilege.

Goddess Knows this is pretty much what’s been going on since the 1980s, with Hupers sorting themselves into the 1% and the 99%.  In the juxtaposition of Manifestation (Makemake) with Abuse/Privilege (Nessus), this Polarity may increase to the point of Breaking as we move into the new Decade.  What we need to do is maintain our Curiosity about it (Quincunx), rather than thinking we Know what’s going on.  If we can maintain Neutrality, we can Agitate for one side or the other (Equality or Superiority, Gratitude or Arrogance) without getting Attached to Outcomes.  We might even be able to seek Common Ground.

If you think Passion and Neutrality are oxymoronic, you’re stuck in “Left Brain” Duality.  It may be a Paradox to Live with both Passion and Neutrality dialed to a high level, but it’s not a Contradiction.  Contradictions exist only in Duality, and Reality is Multifarious and Unitary.

We say all this to introduce the fact that a second planet is also Stationary, the asteroid Klotho, which is about Starting a New TimeLine, where a TimeLine can be a Habit, a LifeTime, a job, a Relationship, or anything else that can be seen to have a Beginning and an Ending.  In our next installment we’ll look at the impact of the Klotho Station on 2020 and beyond.

A Roadmap to 5D

November 20, 2019

I don’t know how long this will be available for free, but several days at least, I believe, maybe till about November 25, 2019?  At any rate, it’s worthwhile, four very concise fifteen-minute talks by Joe Dispenza, highly recommended…

https://experience.hayhouseu.com/redesigningyourdestiny-video1-whereyourattentiongoes/