Archive for the ‘Ego Death’ Category

Intuition, Choice, Self-Sovereignty

March 19, 2020

Or, Intellect, Fate, Codependence.  I’m told by otherwise reliable sources that our Mitochondria have direct access to all of the Information in the Universe, but that this access can be blocked by Toxins and Held Emotions.  Fate is what happens to us when we’re Victims of our Karma – that is, when our Held Emotions Limit the scope of our Reality.  Most of our Held Emotions are Unconscious, hidden behind our Judgments.  As in…

I would do anything for Love, but I won’t do that!

It’s not the 3D Reality of that! which stops us.  It’s the Emotion.  Simply put, it’s not that We’d Rather Die than Do that! – it’s actually that We’d Rather Die than Feel thatBut guess what…  It’s Karmic, it’s not Present Moment.  So what that! would you not Do for Love?  Right now you’re Safe, Right?  No Alligators within snapping distance, Right?  Ok, so Imagine yourself Doing thatYou might feel Beside Yourself, maybe with the Edge of a Cold Sweat?  But you ain’t Dead.

So now, Tap it Out…

“Even though I’d Rather Die than Do that! I Deeply and Completely Love and Accept Myself…” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QzVd6Ww0as4,

and Ground yourself…

Imagine extending a Cable from the base of your Spine and Anchoring it to the Center of the Earth, then https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ao4xdDK9iE.

Feeling more like your usual self?  Good.  Now, take a few minutes and Imagine How You’ll Feel if you actually did that!

Now, first notice that you’re still Alive, assuming you are, and then Tap It Out and Ground Yourself again…

“Even though my Ego will have to Molt before I can be comfortable Feeling that! again, I Deeply and Completely Love and Accept Myself…”

Check in with yourself several times over the next few days, and see if your Judgment has Changed at all.  If you did this for Real, it should Open your Intuition a bit.

So, what’s going on astrologically, is a Big Opening in our Relationship to our Fate (Station of asteroid Moira [Fate and Choice] in 20 Scorpio, 21 March 2020, 5:20 pm PDT).  Fate happens to us when we’re Unconscious.  Once we’re Conscious of our Karma, Fate becomes Choice.  Becoming Conscious of our Karma is actually pretty easy – just make a list of all the things in your Life so far that you Didn’t Enjoy, then rank them by How Much you Didn’t Enjoy them.

Power and Healthy Control is often a Biggie.  Do you Feel Good when you have to Take Control of a situation?  Feel Guilty afterward?  Or in Judgment about how dumb those people were that they couldn’t do it themselves?  How about when you’re Expressing your Feelings and someone tells you how to Fix It?  Or when someone tries to Control your Actions or Behavior?  Are you able to tell them to Butt Out without Offending anyone?  And Feel Okay afterward, without Guilt or Judgment?

“It is all right to destroy the things you seem to love but secretly hate.  In fact, it may be necessary to do so.”
—Clark Strand and Perdita Finn, The Way of the Rose, p.91.

Stationary asteroid Moira [Fate/Choice] is one foot of the Finger of God [Pay Attention!] in a Diamond Star [Self-Resolving Challenge formed by a Finger of God and a T-Square pointing at the same planet].  The Focus of the Diamond Star is dwarf planet Asbolus [Intuition].  The other foot of the Finger of God is dwarf planet Hylonome [Self-Sovereignty].  The base of the T-Square is the Opposition between Neptune [the Intangible] and asteroid Nemesis [Ego Death].

There’s a lot more going on here (in the Moira Station chart), but I’m out of time, so I’ll plan to continue tomorrow.

 

Manifestation New Moon

February 26, 2020

The 23 February 2020 (7:30 am PST) New Moon chart, which is prominent for the next several weeks, is pretty much a repeat of the chart of the 19 February Five Moons Enhanced Creativity astroevent (see https://astrobuss.wordpress.com/2020/02/16/five-moons-enhanced-creativity/).

One emphasis will be on Manifestation (a Diamond Star or Self-Resolving Challenge to dwarf planet Makemake), although we’ll be Asked to Take a Great Deal of Responsibility for our own Negativity whenever the Manifestation isn’t Effortless (the Makemake Diamond Star Opposes Chiron-Lilith [Overcoming Victimhood] and Squares the Nodes [it’s a Life Lesson for us], with Mars, Veritas, Pholus, and Quaoar on the South Node [We Have to Face Facts about whether we’re Being Fully, Proactively Responsive to our Survival Instincts]).

Remember that Responsibility isn’t Blame.  Blame is about looking at the Past to Assign Fault, while Responsibility is about looking to the Future to Improve Outcomes.

If we’re Listening, our Inner Voices will be telling us (dwarf planet OR10 [Intrusive Memories] closely Conjunct [Merged With] the New Moon, at the focus of a Finger of God [Pay Attention!]) which Held Emotions – the ones we’d rather Die than Feel – are Inhibiting our Creativity (the South-Node Stellium [Karma] is part of two Tricolor Configurations [Healing Opportunities]), especially our Creativity at Enhancing our Vitality (the Challenge [Square] side of the Tricolor is Uranus [Soul] Square to Varuna [Life Force]).

Held Emotion is a synonym for Karma – our Ego has a severe Allergic Reaction to certain Feelings or Scenarios, often those that were associated with Past Deaths or other serious Traumas.  By and large we’ve Suppressed the original Traumas, so we’re just left with a serious Aversion to anything that reminds us of the Triggering Event.  That is, Negative Karma is “just” unhealed PTSD.

We need to Reframe our Reaction from “I would rather Die than Feel (or Do) That!” to “I would rather Die than Feel (or Do) That!” – in other words, it’s not really about the Emotion or Scenario, it’s about Identity:  Letting Go of the crippling Karma requires an Ego Death.  We need to Recognize that “I’d rather Die than Feel that!” is never Present-Moment, so it’s not only Safe to metaphorically Let Ourself Go Ahead and Die, but it’s our only Path to Liberation from our Karmic Chains.

Tapping can be very useful in this endeavor – “Even though I’d Rather Die than Feel/Do [this or that], I Deeply and Completely Love and Accept Myself.”

It will be better if we forgo trying to Analyze exactly what it is we’re Resisting, just to Acknowledge our Resistance (we Trigger the Trine [Grace] side of a Tricolor, and heal the Square [Challenge] side of it, by making sure we Avoid Analyzing the Quincunx [Curiosity] side of it).

Here’s the New Moon chart…

In the Major Tricolor [Square-Quincunx-Trine] here, the Square [Challenge] is Uranus-to-Varuna [Soul Granting or Withholding Vitality], the Trine [Grace] is Uranus-to-South-Node-Stellium [Honesty about what’s Stressing Us], and the Quincunx [Mandatory Curiosity] is South-Node-Stellium-to-Varuna [Stress on our Life Force].  So we need to Acknowledge the Stress on our Vitality, without trying to Understand it.  We can Identify it suffixed with “…or something like that,” or we can just Poor-Sweetheart ourself – “You Poor Sweetheart, your Life Force Feels Low, doesn’t it” and not worry about Why it might be.

In the Minor Tricolor [Square-Quincunx-Sextile], the Uranus-to-Varuna Square is the same [Lack of Vitality or Difficulty Manifesting], but the Sextile [Grace after we take the First Step] is New-Moon-OR10-to-Uranus [Recognizing that those Intrusive Memories are sent by the Soul to Help us Heal] and the Quincunx is New-Moon-OR10-to-Varuna [the Intrusive Memories will Inform our Healing – but only if we don’t try to Pin Them Down Intellectually].  The Issues Involved in these Tricolor Configurations are too complex to be Grokked by the Dualistic Mind, so we need to Avoid trying to Pin Them Down like we would a Dead Butterfly.

There are two other minor but potentially Meaningful astroevents occurring on 25 February.

Our Hidden and Forbidden Genius (dwarf planet Ixion) has graduated from a quarter-century of Shedding its Prohibitions (Ixion in Sagittarius), and will now begin a new 25 years of Doing Serious Work in the World (Ixion in Capricorn).  This is an Important Milestone, as our Forbidden Genii are Exactly the Skills we all need to use if we are to Succeed in Keeping our Planet Habitable.

It will be a halting Beginning, but a Beginning nonetheless.  We will have to go back into our Prohibitions a couple of times to Retrieve the Tools of our Genius Trade, but as Jack and Dean would have put it, we are On The RoadFrom 4 May till 10 September 2020, and from 16 July to 12 September 2021, Ixion Retrogrades back into Sagittarius.

Our Skill at Squelching Self-Sabotaging Habits becomes much more Down-to-Earth (asteroid Atropos enters and crosses Taurus) between 25 February and 6 May 2020 (no Atropos Retrograde periods in Taurus).  We’ve been Toying with (Visualizing, really) Changing Negative Patterns, but now we’ll get down to Business and Jettison them for good.

To jumpstart this process, Frequently put your Attention on How You’ll Feel when you’ve Let Go Of these No-Longer-Welcome Companions, including any and all Habits and Addictions you wish to Shed, no matter how Tenacious they’ve been in the Past.  The Power is now on your side.  And while these Habits are Destructive to you now, they served you well at some point in the Past, so finding Gratitude for their Service will also be helpful.  You don’t need to know When or Why, just know that you wouldn’t have them now if they weren’t Powerfully Useful to some version of “you” at some point.

There will be a couple of Red-Letter Days (more likely, the Week prior to them) during this process…

  • Around 6 March, we will be able to bring the Full Power of our Soul to bear on these Obsolete Patterns (Atropos crossing Uranus).  Take advantage of this – queue up your Most Persistent Curses for Exorcism during the first week of March.
  • Around 1 May, we will be able to Tackle our Greatest Fears and put them in their place on the wall next to the rest of our Big-Game Trophies (Atropos crossing dwarf planet Sedna).  Tapping and Kegels work very well for Grounding ourself in the Presence of Skin-Crawling Fear.

See the source image

Finally, we’re  entering the Grip of a couple of Strong Energies.  Our Intuition will be very Strong (dwarf planet Asbolus Stationary) until 1 March, and our Skill at Transcending whatever we are Done With (asteroid Bee-Zed Stationary) will also be very Strong over the same period.

Self-Love Full Moon

February 8, 2020

A few of the Players have changed Partners, but otherwise the chart for the 8 February 2020 (11:30 pm PST) Full Moon is identical to the lovely symmetrical chart for the 5 February Self-Deprecation Squall (https://astrobuss.wordpress.com/2020/02/01/possible-self-deprecation-squall/), which hopefully for youalls turned out to be a Self-Love Squall.

We still have a Major Challenge (T-Square) to our Unconscious Limitations (asteroid Vesta), which is always fabulous, as long as we Recognize that it’s our Limits that are Threatened and not our Ego.  This one will be more In-Our-Face than the mid-week event (the base of this T-Square is the Full Moon itself, which is a junior SuperMoon; the base of the 5 February T-Square was Sun/ Essence Opposing asteroid Lachesis/Conscious-Pattern-Breaking).

And while our Codependence or Self-Sovereignty was Challenged mid-week (T-Square to Jupiter and dwarf planet Hylonome), the Full Moon will Challenge our Wannas and Gottas (T-Square to Pluto) themselves.  This is about the New Bravery Zeitgeist (https://astrobuss.wordpress.com/2020/01/11/where-are-we-then/).  The more we Resist our Wannas and Self-Loving Gottas, the more we Resist our Brave New World (No matter how hard you Resist, Pluto always Wins).

Unfortunately, our Obsolete Self-Deprecating Gottas are often loaded with Guilt and other Brakes on our Journey into Unconditional Self-Love.  But if we override the Brakes and take a Self-Abusive Gotta too seriously, we could end up burning Bridges that we Need.  It would be a good time to PIAVA the best of both Worlds.  Maybe something like…

“God/Goddess, Creator of All Things, I Command a Loving and Gentle and Smooth Transition from my Old Scarcity Identity to my New Abundance Identity.  It Is Done, It Is Done, It Is Done.  Thank you, God/Goddess.  Show me!”

And as we described a few posts back (https://astrobuss.wordpress.com/2020/02/01/possible-self-deprecation-squall/), if your “Show me” isn’t Paydirt, Tap it Out, adjust your Command if necessary, and try again.

Midweek, our Sovereignty was Challenged by our Karma and our Self-Love (asteroids Karma and Sappho Opposing one another in the T-Square base).   Now we’re Challenged to End our Karma by Opening to “New” Information and Lovingly Expanding our Consciousness to Encompass It (asteroid Atropos/Consciously-Ending-Obsolete-Habits, dwarf planet Eris/Revelation-of-What’s-Been-Denied and asteroid Karma Opposing Stationary asteroids Juno/Growth-in-Consciousness and Sappho/Self-Love in the base of the T-Square).

The information we’ll be Receiving is “New,” in quotes, because we knew it all along, our Old Identity just didn’t Allow ourself to Acknowledge it.  This morning for instance, I discovered that when I’m interrupted while concentrating deeply, my behavior and tone of voice are “vicious.”  I didn’t know that.  In retrospect I can see it.  In the moment, all I’m trying to do is Protect the Space that I’m concentrating in (Channeling these posts, for instance, or juggling several tasks at once), so I don’t lose the plot.  Knowing this now, I can retrain myself to smile, raise a finger, and say “Please Wait?!?!” or the like.

The deed to the ranch is still Working with our Higher Powers, Guides, and Guardian Angels (Neptune as the key Player at the Apex of the Chrysalis and the Finger of God from Moon and Juno).  So it will behoove me to enlist them in this Behavior Change, with a Theta Command or other PIAVA, to make sure I stay Conscious for Interruptions while I’m Concentrating, because my Trance can obviously get pretty Deep in those circumstances.  I may even end up drastically Changing the way I use that Trance.  What if I could use if for Direct Healing?

Here’s the Full Moon chart…

There are three Stationary planets in this chart.  Sappho was Stationary on 5 February, and it loosely Conjoins the 8 February (10am PST) Juno Station.  The third Station, of dwarf planet Sedna/Converting-Fear-to-Power also occurs 8 February (7:30 pm PST).  Here’s the chart of the Juno and Sedna Stations…

The Juno and Sedna Stations Quincunx/Curiosity one another, and because the Sedna Station stretches the Sensitivity of the Juno Station, Juno Conjoins dwarf planet Haumea/Rebirth, making our Expansion of Consciousness potentially Life-Changing.

In these two extra-credit astroevents that accompany the Full Moon, the Big Challenge (T-Square) to how we Balance our Wannas and Gottas (Pluto) gets more complicated.  Now it becomes The Most Important Thing (it’s joined by Saturn and…), and it’s Critical to how we Balance our Self-Confidence and Self-Doubt (…dwarf planet Chariklo/Self-Assurance).

Since this is the Heart of the New Zeitgeist, it means that our Expanded Consciousness must Bravely Acknowledge Self-Doubt and Fear when they arise, so they can be Reframed into Confidence that by combining Vulnerability and Research we can Resolve the Doubt and Embrace the Fear, and no longer Introject Doubt into our IdentityWouldn’t that be the Cat’s Pyjamas!

These two events also add another Big Challenge, this time to our Skill with Ego Death (T-Square to asteroid Nemesis/Ego Death).  Of course we’re going to be working with Ego Death, as Transformative as these Challenges seem to be.  It’s a complicated Challenge (the base of the T-Square finds dwarf planets Chaos/Unlimited-Potential and Asbolus/Intuition Opposing Mars, dwarf planet Ixion/Forbidden-Genius, and asteroid Bee-Zed/ Transcendence).  Which means that, if we’re Willing to Let Go Of our Resistance to Ego Death, we can glimpse the Wonders that our Forbidden Genius can Manifest for us.

Finally, we need to Recognize that Converting Fear to Power is a strong theme here, and be Watchful for it.  Remember near the beginning of this post, where we mentioned our “Old Scarcity Identity?”  That’s Scare-City.   We need to trade it in on a Joyful New Abundance Identity…

Fortunately, our work Converting Fear to Power (Sedna Station), and both of the Big Challenges (Foci of the two T-Squares) – our Confidently Brave New Identity (Saturn-Pluto-Chariklo) and our Willingness to Endure Ego Death (Nemesis), are all joined at the hip with Great Grace (Grand Trine/ Impossibly-Good-Luck).  So we may not actually have to Endure the Ego Death – it may just “happen,” and we may sail through it with little or no Discomfort, as it did for my vicious Evil Twin this morning.  It will pay, though, to be Proactive (Mars).  Don’t sit on it, take a Deep Breath and Bravely start a conversation about it.

Changes

January 15, 2020

This week we’re diving expeditiously into the many Changes we’ll be making as we adapt to this Brave New Zeitgeist (Saturn-Pluto), New Integration with Soul (Uranus in Taurus), and New Vulnerability (dwarf planet Eris).

Imagine that your Ego is like a suit of clothes.  You use some of your clothes for Self-Expression, some for Comfort, some for specific Tasks.  You usually Change them when your Objective Changes, though sometimes you can’t, or just don’t.  But can you really Relax in your Work clothes?  How much contrast is there between your Self-Expression clothes, your Lolling-About costumes, your Work outfits, and your Sunday-Go-To-Meeting clothes?  How inconvenient, or embarrassing – or even maybe dangerous to your reputation – is it to get caught in the wrong circumstances with the wrong outfit?

That’s the way we wear our Egos.  Ego is a Tool, like clothes.  We have and use different Roles for different circumstances, we Change them like clothes, and sometimes we get caught wearing the wrong Ego for the job we’re called to do.  We even come up against places where we Wonder if we even have a suitable Ego for some New situation at all, or for some Old one that’s always given us trouble (Pluto-Chariklo).  It felt like that for me last week, while everything was so topsy-turvy.  It Feels more Comfortable this week so far, but that may be Temporary.

As we get close to 17 January 2020, we could run into what we usually refer to as Ego Death – a place where the Ego outfit that we’ve always worn for some job, clearly doesn’t fit at all.  Or worse, a place where we’re face-to-face with one of those Emotions that We’d Rather Die Than Feel.  Where whatever Confidence we had dissolves, and we’re Overcome by Inadequacy, Grief, Anger, Guilt, Fear, Doubt, and Shame, all at once, and we’d crawl in a hole if one was handy.  It feels like we’ve met our “Nemesis.”  If we’re really lucky, when it happens we’ll be somewhere where we can curl up in the fetal position and hide under the covers.

We really should practice with these Feelings, so we get more Comfortable with them, Savor them even, because they’re Portals into Growth of Consciousness.  Maybe you can practice receiving them as an Opportunity this week.  At 4:30 am PST on 17 January, the Influence peaks of the asteroid that’s in charge of these Transitions, from Comfortably in Denial to Horribly Discomfortable in Realization (asteroid Nemesis Stationary, in 27 Virgo, the Sign of Ego Death; the chart is complex, and closely tied to last weekend’s Saturn-Pluto-Chariklo – we’ll try to find time to take it apart soon).

With the Zeitgeist  and our own Energy Body so drastically New, we need to Expect a lot of these kinds of Changes, as we Adjust to the Changes.

2020 The Year… 3

December 31, 2019

A friend writes…

Been imagining lately, and this is sort of metaphysically far-fetched, but, if our reality really is malleable, and if it really is created by the thoughts of the collective masses, then, if enough people could imagine healing what has been damaged, then, could we actually magically clean the waters…?”

Which clarifies my thoughts about the previous post…

“Unfortunately, our Unconscious Thoughts have more Power than our Conscious Thoughts, which is why we need so badly to Embrace our Held Emotions.  Anything in us that is flying under our radar, is in Control.  Do we seek Justice, or do we seek Peace?  The Bottom Line [in the previous post] appears to be how we deal with our Abuse.  It has to be from Unconditional Self-Love, Taking our Power, and Respect for All Things.  And yes, if we knew how to do this we would have done it long ago, so we also need to Surrender to the Larger Process, whatever that is, and let the Heart’s Light Guide us, NOT the mind…”

If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you know that we place emphasis on the Stations – the times when a planet appears, from our vantage point on Earth as we go ’round the Sun, to Slow Down then Stop and then Turn Around and go the other way.  We emphasize Stations this because we’ve Observed that the influence of the planet is very Strong at these times.  So when we look at a chart, the Stations and the T-Squares are what we look for first, because in our Experience they’re prominent in how we Experience the chart.

A planet is “Stationary” when it’s moving very Slowly, and its “Exact Station” is when it Stops.  As for the influence of the Station upon us, it in general increases as we get closer to the Exact Station, then abruptly decreases.  However, if we don’t Realize that we’re being overly influenced by the Station, then we can make Decisions to Protect our Ego, and those Decisions can impact our Lives far beyond the Exact Stations, in some cases becoming new Karma (this Decision process describes the impact of dwarf planet Orcus, which is Lit Up in the recent Vesta Station chart which is part of the 1 January 2020 complex).

For the 1 January 2020 chart, the chart for the “birth” of the Year and the Decade, we’ve already talked about the Station of dwarf planet Makemake, which symbolizes Manifestation.  To use it as an example, Makemake is Challenged (T-Squared) by our Held Emotions or Existing Karma (Jupiter-South Node), the Emotions we’d rather Die than Feel.  That’s not usually a Physical Death, though it certainly can be.  When we feel like “I’d rather Die!” we’re usually putting the emphasis on the  Die  part.  But it’s actually on the  I  part, because “I’d rather Die” is an Expression of the Need for an Ego Death, or a Molt of our Identity.

Ego Deaths are not pleasant, simply because we feel like we’re Dying, and in fact, We Are, because our Ego is who we Believe ourselves to Be, and when our Ego Dies, “We” Die.  When the process works, we Molt, the Sun comes back up and we become Reborn, after which we Identify as a New, more Comprehensive Ego.  Other than Feeling Dazed, we don’t usually conceptualize our Molts that way.  If we can possibly Reprogram ourself to Recognize the symptoms of Ego Death while we’re in the throes, and then Focus on Who We Might Become Later instead of How Miserable We Feel at that moment, we may be able to become Adept at the process, making Life incredibly Easier and more “Productive,” where by “Productive” we mean moving toward Enlightenment more expeditiously.

That doesn’t mean we can skip the Feeling Miserable part – we get to Rising Above Feeling Miserable only by Diving Deeply into it.  Only when we can be Neutral about All of our Emotions (including Arrogance), when we can Receive them as Information about what’s going on (e.g., Arrogance doesn’t mean we’ve become Enlightened, it means we’re being Overinflated), rather than Merging our Identity with our Emotions and/or becoming their Victim, only then will we approach the “Ascension” we Want for the Planet, and make our own effective Contribution to its Collective Energy.

For example, the Makemake/Manifestation Challenge that we talked about in the earlier post, had “something to do with” (Quincunx/Curiosity) Abuse and Privilege (Nessus).  So, maybe (Quincunx again) if we can’t extract ourself from Merging totally with our Abuse Memories and find our Observer Self to look back at ourself and Witness our Regressed and Present-Moment Emotions (perhaps by for instance, Poor-Sweethearting ourself, or using a trick like Asking what color is the wallpaper) and Accept these Emotions Compassionately and Fully, maybe we might make a Decision Never to Allow Ourselves to be Vulnerable again or something like that.

Well, a Decision or Vow like that, carried forward, will cause us to miss out on many of the best parts of Living.  Chances are, since Abuse has been a prominent characteristic of Huperity since the Beginning of Time, that was how we Created our Karma in the first place, eons ago.

Or, maybe rather than Feeling Gratitude for Good Fortune, we patted ourself on the back and Gloated about our Superiority, and we made a Decision that Ripping off our “Inferiors” was a great way to Enjoy Life, and got Attached to our Privilege.

Goddess Knows this is pretty much what’s been going on since the 1980s, with Hupers sorting themselves into the 1% and the 99%.  In the juxtaposition of Manifestation (Makemake) with Abuse/Privilege (Nessus), this Polarity may increase to the point of Breaking as we move into the new Decade.  What we need to do is maintain our Curiosity about it (Quincunx), rather than thinking we Know what’s going on.  If we can maintain Neutrality, we can Agitate for one side or the other (Equality or Superiority, Gratitude or Arrogance) without getting Attached to Outcomes.  We might even be able to seek Common Ground.

If you think Passion and Neutrality are oxymoronic, you’re stuck in “Left Brain” Duality.  It may be a Paradox to Live with both Passion and Neutrality dialed to a high level, but it’s not a Contradiction.  Contradictions exist only in Duality, and Reality is Multifarious and Unitary.

We say all this to introduce the fact that a second planet is also Stationary, the asteroid Klotho, which is about Starting a New TimeLine, where a TimeLine can be a Habit, a LifeTime, a job, a Relationship, or anything else that can be seen to have a Beginning and an Ending.  In our next installment we’ll look at the impact of the Klotho Station on 2020 and beyond.

A Roadmap to 5D

November 20, 2019

I don’t know how long this will be available for free, but several days at least, I believe, maybe till about November 25, 2019?  At any rate, it’s worthwhile, four very concise fifteen-minute talks by Joe Dispenza, highly recommended…

https://experience.hayhouseu.com/redesigningyourdestiny-video1-whereyourattentiongoes/

 

Expanding into Truth 2

September 26, 2019

As we’ve been pointing out repeatedly since July’s Truthiness post (https://astrobuss.wordpress.com/2019/07/25/truthiness/), both asteroids Aletheia (Truth of the Heart) and Veritas (Truth of the mind) are in Scorpio (Getting to the Bottom of Things, Relentlessly) and moving rapidly toward Merger (Conjunction).  So the ubiquitous news about Habitual Prevaricators getting caught standing in their own you-know-what is no Surprise.  These two Merge on 3 October 2019, about eight hours after Pluto (No Exit) Stands Still (is at Max Power).  They don’t leave Scorpio till early November.

If you haven’t been following this Thread, you’d do well to skim from Truthiness forward till now, as Truthiness has been entwined with our Karma and several other Heavy Threads – including getting Truthy about our own Karma.  Particularly notice how the hooligans are dressed in the first video of the Ixion, Forbidden Genius 3 post.

Our first 27 September astroevent (5:30 am PDT) is asteroid Nemesis (Ego Death) moving into Virgo (Ego Death).  Nemesis symbolizes Guilt and Punishment, and we Transcend that with Ego Death – we either Accept that we’re a Bad Person, or Decide that the Rules we’ve broken are Bad, that we’re being Blamed Unfairly. or that we’re being Blamed Fairly, and Intend to Reform.  Any of which Requires an Ego Adjustment, some bigger than others.

Virgo meanwhile is the rope Bridge between Leo and Libra, between the Pinnacle of Individual Development, and the First Meeting of Other, where we’re basically Infantile.  I mean, in Leo we barely knew Other existed.  We thought those disembodied clapping hands were part of our scenery.  Maybe a zip line, or a rappel with no belay, would be a better metaphor than a rope Bridge.  If we don’t go through a tonne of Ego Adjustment in Virgo as the hands stop clapping, we’ll be in big Trouble when we get to Libra.  Maybe you remember situations where you’ve Felt at the top of your game, and Believe you were meeting someone pretty much as Equals, only to very quickly Discover they were waaay ahead of you.

It’s no Help that dwarf planet Chariklo (Self-Doubt and Self-Confidence) is also Strong (Stationary), its Energy peaking a few minutes after midnight PDT on 28 September.  Or maybe it’s Helpful, if Self-Doubt leads us to Self-Examination and Change, or we Respond to getting caught in Over-Confidence by Adjusting our Attitude.

The Nemesis Sign-Change chart is like so…

Just a Big Tricolor (Mystery; the red-green-blue triangle) and a Mjölnir (Epiphany – the lighter yellow lines).  With a Tricolor we unlock the Grace in the blue line by Refusing to Let the mind Believe that it Understands the Confusion inherent in the green line.  Said another way, there’s an Easy Relationship (Trine) between the Climate Emergency (Pholus-Quaoar) and our Ego Death (Nemesis).  But the Ease is locked out of our Awareness when we Allow the Challenge (Square) that Unconscious Fear (Vesta-Sedna) makes to our Ego (Nemesis) to Dominate our Attention.  We’re referring to Pholus-Quaoar as the Climate Emergency, but it includes the Political and Economic Uncertainty that’s Afoot.

We Restore the Ease by Surrendering to our Higher Power the Relationship between our Fear (Vesta-Sedna) and the Climate Emergency (Pholus-Quaoar), by Allowing it to remain a Mystery (Quincunx).  But that doesn’t mean we defer the Opportunity to bring the Fear up into Consciousness!  For instance, I’ve been gnawing on a Problem for several months now, without coming up with a decent suggestion to Solve it.  This morning I realized that It was Fear that I was Unconsciously focusing on, while I tried to “Solve” it by Strategizing.  That’s a Dead End, obviously.  We Resolve Fear by Embracing it.

So I did just that – laid down, located the Fear in my Body, Softened and Warmed it while Poor-Sweethearting myself (“You Poor Sweetheart, you’re Scared, aren’t you”), then followed the Sensation when it Moved in my Body, and the Emotional Memories Triggered as it did.  If a Problem can’t be Resolved in a couple of months of Plotting, it’s not a Problem that will ever be Solved by Analysis, Planning, and Executing.  Declare an Intention, Command What You Want, and be Mindful to Cancel, Neutralize, Upgrade Thoughts to the Contrary.  Which I did.  Didn’t immediately Solve the Problem, but it certainly Changed my Frame of Reference, so I’m more often broadcasting What I Want to the Universe instead of What I Don’t Want.

Which leads us right to the Mjölnir (Trioctiles reaching from each end of a Square), that focuses on the Saturn-South Node that plagued us last week – namely, our Karma.  Those Emotional Memories Triggered by the Movement of Energy after I Allowed the Fear to become Conscious as a Physical Sensation in my Body and Invited it to Express itself however it Chose.

Asteroid Hopi, joining Saturn and the Dragon’s Tail, is about Respect for All Things.  A great time to go through our…

“_____, whatever I may have done or not done, or said or not said, Consciously or Unconsciously, that hurt you, I Ask your Forgiveness.  _____, whatever you may have done or not done, or said or not said, Consciously or Unconsciously, that hurt me, I forgive you.”

Be careful with this; it can easily Create Powerful Ego Deaths that you don’t notice until you Discover that you’ve Forgotten how to Drive!

A few hours later, around 8:30 am PDT 27 September, asteroid Bee-Zed (or BZ509, indicating Transendence) Stands Still.  Its chart…

…is more complicated, but the core is two T-Squares (red triangles), one to Stationary Bee-Zed itself, Expanded by Jupiter (Growth), and the other to Chariklo (Self-Doubt/Confidence), Stationary less than a day later (just after midnight PDT 28 September).  Chariklo is Lit up by Pluto (Obsession), which itself is Stationary until 2 October, and our busy friend Hopi again.  This is a hell of a lot of Power.  Make sure you’re swimming downstream.

Expanding Transcendence (Jupiter and Bee-Zed) is Challenged by (Squares) the Dance (Opposition) between Choosing to Become Aware and Trust our Instincts (Moira-Juno-Moon) and Sacred Confusion about our Identity (Neptune-Lilith).  Lilith is about Bringing our Identity back Home to our Self and our Soul, rather than Investing it in someone or something External to us, such as a spouse or a job.  Confusion is always the first stage of Growth, as the Mental Cage we normally trap the Universe in, starts to warp and lead.  Sacred Confusion (Neptune) all the more.

Compulsive Attention to Self-Doubt and Self-Confidence, in the context of our Judgments (Pluto-Chariklo-Hopi) is Challenged by the Dance between our Values (Venus) and our Endings (Atropos).  In other words this is about Letting Go of Obsolete Values that Inhibit our Self-Confidence.  The Greek Atropos was the Goddess who determined the Ending of a TimeLine – a Lifetime or a Habit or a Relationship or any other Thread in your Young Life.  Fate is what happens to us when we’re Unconscious; we replace it with Choice when we become Conscious.  Here we practice Choosing to Let Go of Values that no longer Serve us.

There is a seventh fencepost here – the budding (3 October) Conjunction between Truth of the Heart Aletheia, and Truth of the mind Veritas.  It Bridges both Oppositions – we’ll make everything a lot Easier if we steer toward Truth.

We need to remind that this is all just warmup for the 2 October (11:30 pm PDT) Station of Pluto (Compulsive Change of Trance) and 3 October (8am PDT) Aletheia-Veritas Conjunction (Truth Squared).

And that 28 September is even busier than the 27th,  starting just after midnight PDT with the Station of Chariklo (Self-Doubt/Self-Confidence) which Conjoins the Stations of Pluto and Bee-Zed, and continuing at 9am PDT with the Station of dwarf planet Chaos.  Chaos is a Big Deal; if it weren’t for all these other themes going on and Pluto waving its arms, Chaos would be the Big Topic!  Here it just means that however we React and Respond to these Lit-Up Issues of Karma, Survival, Ego Death, Confidence, Truth, Growth, Ascension (into 5D), and Descension (of Soul into Matter) the Gate to the Universe is Open.  The World is our Oyster; all we need to do is Intend it.

Then, at 11:30 am PDT 28 September, the Moon is New within one arcminute of dwarf planet Makemake (Manifestation).  The primary theme of the New Moon, other than Manifesting What We Want, is Descent of Soul into Matter, not just “our own” Soul into our own Body, but the Reanimation of the Planet, the Wild, and Everything In It, return to the Indigenous World where All Things Are Alive.

If anyone is watching the Degrees and comparing them to their natal chart – which we should all be doing – they’re these…

  • Equinox 0 Libra 23 September
  • Nemesis Ingress 0 Virgo 27 September
  • New Moon 6 Libra 28 September
  • Aletheia-Veritas Conjunction 17 Virgo 3 October
  • Bee-Zed Station 18 Sagittarius 27 September
  • Chariklo Station 20 Capricorn 28 September
  • Pluto Station 21 Capricorn 2 October
  • Asbolus Station 24 Gemini 23 September
  • Chaos Staion 27 Gemini 28 September
  • Vesta Station 28 Taurus 23 September

Expanding into Truth 1

September 25, 2019

A quick Summary of the fireworks we listed in the previous post…

  • 27 September 2019 – Ego Death Squared (Nemesis enters Virgo).
  • – Transcending Untruth (Bee-Zed Stationary Conjunct Aletheia-Veritas).
  • 28 September – Dancing with Self-Doubt (Chariklo Stationary Conjunct Pluto).
  •  – Wandering in Paradise (Chaos Stationary Conjunct Asbolus).
  •  – Making New Friends (New Moon Conjunct Makemake).
  • 2 October – No U Turn (Pluto Stationary).
  • 3 October – Truth Reigns (Aletheia Conjunct Veritas).

The overarching Energy is Pluto.  We usually describe Pluto Energy  as floating down a large river – when we hear the waterfall coming up, we can steer to one bank or the other to portage around it.  So we do have the flexibility to Manipulate the Energy to our advantage, if we have the Skills.  But it’s a big river – if we try to paddle upstream, we’ll just get swept over the falls backward.  When Pluto Energy Shifts, Going Back takes great Effort, and if you get there it’s not the same anyway.

This Pluto Station is about Revising our Values to account for New Information we’ve gotten (Pluto Stationary T-Square Venus and Eris).  Except for minor differences, the 27 September Bee-Zed Station and 28 September Chariklo Stations make the same basic chart, as all three of these Stations occur within the same 3-Degree window.

Pluto is often read as Transformation, or Formation of a New Trance, Bee-Zed as Transcendence, and Chariklo as Self-Confidence or its evil twin Self-Doubt.  So this week we wouldn’t be Surprised to find ourself Doubting our Old Values, as we Transcend previously Unconscious Limitations.  By next week we should be ready to have Confidence in a whole set of New Values.

Lingering beneath this Pluto Energy is a Station of dwarf planet Chaos, which, if we Allow it, can blow our Limitations to smithereens.  With our Values in Flux here, the odds are improved.  Dwarf planet Chaos implies, rather than Disorder, a Blank Slate on which we can draw anything we can Imagine that draws out our Passion.  We’re only Limited by our Imagination and our Manifestation Skills – which are much Enhanced by the 28 September New Moon only one arcminute from dwarf planet Makemake.

Chaos has been Dancing with our Intuition (Asbolus) and our Forbidden Genius (Ixion).  As we’ve seen, our Genius is tied up with the Climate Emergency (Pholus-Quaoar), so it’s Important that we Receive and Embrace Her.  Greta is a great Model for our Hidden Genius – when the trolls attack her for being “mentally ill,” she points out that she regards her Asperger’s Syndrome as her Superpower.  We all have a Superpower that’s been Shamed by the Status Quo Culture.

As you Doubt your own Values this week, you’ll see first hand why others would much rather ridicule their superiors than Allow their Ego-draped Values to be Threatened.  The 27 September Ingress of asteroid Nemesis (Ego Death) into Virgo (Ego Death) will Amplify all that.  Leo is the apex of the Individual, and in Libra we Meet Other.  In between – in Virgo – we Discover, like we did as infants, that we aren’t the Center of the Universe.

To get from Leo to Libra requires a Gauntlet of Ego Deaths.  Virgo’s bad rap follows from Maladjustment to and Judgment of Ego Death.  For all the (Lack of) Attention that Ego-Worshiping Western Culture gives to Ego Death, it’s a Wonder anyone is Well-Adjusted to it – if anyone is.  I felt it today in the form of missing two turns on a 2-mile trip that I drive almost every day.

Busy August V

August 7, 2019

“Just when we begin to feel expert and comfortable, that is exactly when the nature of life’s restless heart forces us to move completely out of that previously comfortable era into one in which we are hopelessly inexpert.  In every stage it is as if we have to learn how to live all over again.  Though normal and unavoidable, often these natural life changes can be experienced as deep losses…

“The grief of raising children who are golden original mind-boggling beautiful sprites who become teenagers who hate us and want to get as far away from us as possible, or the grief of watching those same kids become adults as limited, afraid, and rigid as we are… are just a few of the stages of living filled with grief that are totally expected.

“For this reason, though natural, common, and anticipated, it is also just as right that we should deeply express these changes as losses through grief.  For this reason, in most of the world’s natural cultures, these changes are understood and experienced tribally as lines that must be crossed ritually with the help of the entire village…

“Natural culture doesn’t need to address life changes with therapy because they anticipate these changes and have a place for the grief.  These rituals of life changes are the major parts of their tribal everyday spiritual existence.  In this way grief is not left hanging but is converted into ritual beauty and culture-supporting continuity, which is not only experienced by the people in a massive communal way, but in a massive communal way these rituals also have the people giving life back to the Divine that gives life to them and the world.”

–Martín Prechtel, The Smell of Rain on Dust, pp.9-10.

Folks of our ilk may so Celebrate the Solstices and Equinoxes, and maybe even the Cross-Quarter Days.  But the sort of Celebrations that Martín describes are less common, and more important.  And it reminds us that one Loss we often Fear but seldom Grieve is Ego Death.  Astrology schedules Ego Deaths for us frequently – such as this week.

The symbol for our Soul (Uranus) and the symbol for Expansion (Jupiter) are both Strong (Stationary) on 11 August, and the impact of the Expansion part is greatly amplified (Jupiter Stations in front of the mid-Sagittarius “Great Attractor” and the “Shapley Supercluster,” two Galaxy Clusters, one behind the other, both mostly behind the Milky Way, and each stronger than the previous, that pull all of us toward them with a Gravitational Force thousands of times that of the Milky Way itself).

See the source image

In other words, you can say, “Oh, No Thanks!” but it won’t much help.

With our Uranian Soul symbol in the Sign of Matter (Taurus), we’ve recently begun a seven-year period that we can safely call The Descent of Soul into Matter.  Soul is Asking us to Expand a great deal beyond our usual day-to-day Limitations and Habits.  Just as an example, Soul is immortal, so while it may be Compassionate, it doesn’t have the Fear of Death that “we” – our Egos – have.  So we have to Expect that it will show us pictures of Death, in a “gentle” attempt to help us move closer to Recognizing our Immortality as Souls.

Energy precedes Matter, so if we continue to Project Demise and Fear of it out in front of us, more Death is what we’ll Create.

No question that it’s usually inconvenient to have to Surrender a Lifetime where we undoubtedly have Unfinished Business, but even in that circumstance we can reframe the Ego’s Intention as helping us to move closer to Recognizing what’s Really Important – our Ego’s education! That’s a lot more important than any Unfinished Business.  It’s the inept Political notion of Karma as Retribution that leads to the conclusion that Unfinished Business weighs us down.  Sure, we can rue Unfinished Business and thus make Karma out of it, but that’s just a different Curriculum we can Choose.

But Martín is right that All Losses Must Be Grieved, and every Ego Death is a Loss.  Rather than Respectfully and Gratefully Grieve our Ego Deaths after the fact, we usually Burn Up the same Energy in Fear before the fact.  We can Feel it coming on, and the Ego starts pedaling backwards as fast as it can.  We Expect a huge Soul Download over the next several days.  Open to it.  Invite it.

See the source image

Invite your Transition to be Loving and Gentle, and Ask your Current Ego to Respond to it with Respect, Gratitude, Surrender, and Relief.  Remind your Current Ego that it’s done a fabulous job of Keeping You Alive (its job description) so far, remind it that it can Trust the Soul to do a great job of selecting a bright-eyed Happy New You for the next assignment, and give it one last Hug.

In fact, Trusting the Soul is the biggest Challenge this week (asteroid Eurydike [Trust] Square Stationary Uranus).  And the basic process is all about Manifesting Miracles into Form by Following our Inner Voices (dwarf planet Makemake [Manifestation] Opposite Chiron [Despair/Miracles] and at the Focus of a Finger of God from the Sextile between Uranus itself and dwarf planet OR10 [Intrusive Memories])

We may have to be tricky to Hear the Voices (OR10) – Sitting Silently with our Eyes closed and Shushing the mind, for instance, or Clearing our Current-Moment Thoughts and Paying Attention to Random Memories or Stories that cross our mind – maybe a plot from last week’s TV show, a Stranger you passed today who reminded you of someone, a Strange but somehow familiar Smell, or a sudden Memory of a tale your favorite Aunt told you when you were but a golden original mind-boggling beautiful sprite yourself.

Don’t Strain – the Stories and Voices are meant to Trigger your Intuition, so making it Stressful will just clamp the tubing.  You Want only Joy and Fun here; certainly your Soul wound Want it that way.  Be continually Mindful for Bummers, and Poor-Sweetheart them or Tap them Out.  When Bummers arise, know that they’re Up so you can Let Go of them (Chiron)

If no Bummers arise, Look for them!  We all have Beliefs that we Accept as Just the Way It Is (Chiron), and those are the fences that keep us as limited, afraid, and rigid as we are.  But we Accept them as Just the Way It Is, so we aren’t Aware that they keep us Limited, Afraid, and Rigid.  When we Open those Windows, Miracles await just beyond the Pane.

Jupiter will be Lighting Up our natal planets in the neighborhood of 15 Degrees, and Uranus those in the vicinity of 7 Degrees.

Cancer Solstice 1

June 21, 2019

The way we look at it, the recent Stations of Makemake (symbol of Manifestation) and Veritas (symbol of Truth) will have a big Influence on the coming several months because their Energies were peaking at (and therefore heavily impacted) the Full Moon, and a New or Full Moon’s Energies influences the following several weeks, which includes the Solstice, which in turn impacts the following three to six months.  I could summarize what that Influence will be about, but it would be better if you re-read the Rebirth Full Moon series, and notice what pops out at you.  We will all take different portions of the Energies to the bank with us.

If we were to reduce all that to one sentence, though, I’d say that the primary Energy has probably Triggered and may continue to Trigger our Scarcity Issues and raise the danger that we’ll Act on them and Create more Scarcity.  The only thing we can Manifest from a State of Fear is more Fear.  In spite of many Challenges, the overall Energies were very Beneficial, so we have to read those Energies as Opportunities to Let Go of Our Scarcity Karma and Make Room for Greater Abundance in our Future.  We could Experience Scarcity or Abundance of Anything – Money, Security, Affection, Attention, Food, Happiness, you name it.

But the Biggest Influence on the Cancer Solstice will be the Station of Neptune shortly before the Solstice itself.  Neptune symbolizes Material Confusion and Spiritual Clarity, so as we’ve been wrestling with our Scarcity we’ve probably found it Confusing.  Part of us has likely been more than Willing to Continue to Operate Abundantly (Abundance means Having Enough to Share), while there has probably been another Voice warning us that our Largesse may be followed by a bill we’ll have Difficulty paying.  But neither Voice has been loud enough to Dominate.  Hence Confusion, as one part of us Acts one way and another part Acts differently, and we aren’t quite sure just Who We Are.

The Neptune Station occurs at 7:30 am PDT in 19 Pisces, and the Cancer Solstice at 9am PDT, in by definition 0:00 of Cancer.  That puts the Solstice Sun 101 Degrees ahead of Neptune, a Waxing Biseptile.  The Septile series of Angles are all about Timing, and the Biseptile is about the Timing of Either/Or Decisions.  Many of us tend to see Reality as a series of Snapshots rather than a Moving Picture, so unless some barker is screaming at us that their unprecedented Bargain expires in an hour, we may not think much about Timing.

But Timing is critical around Everything.  If our favorite Psychic tells us we’ll meet our Soulmate or our Benefactor in the Produce Department at Whole Foods, will we be present enough to inquire When?  What if they left three minutes before we got there, or we wander off to Frozen Foods two minutes before they arrive?  Would we even Ask, Do you mean this year?  Or this Lifetime?  Seven (Septile) is a lucky number for a good reason – it’s about being in the Right Place at the Right Time.

The Neptune Station itself presents a Challenge (the focus of a T-Square) to Distinguish between our Longstanding Desires (Jupiter in Sagittarius) and our Fleeting Intuitions (Asbolus in Gemini).  But the more Profound Challenge in the Neptune-Station chart is a Karmic one, a Challenge to Discern the Truth (T-Square focused on asteroid Aletheia) about our Karma and our Mission (South and North Nodes, aka the Dragon’s Tail and Head).  Our Karma or Held Emotions are marked as The Most Important Thing (South Node Conjunct Saturn), and our Mission is marked as Requiring Ego Death (North Node Conjunct asteroid Nemesis).

That merits repeating…

The Biggest Influence on the Cancer Solstice will be the Station of Neptune shortly before the Solstice itself.  This Neptune Station Challenges us to Distinguish between our Longstanding Desires and our Fleeting Intuitions, and to Trust our Intuitions about our Longstanding Desires.  But the more Profound Challenge in the Neptune-Station chart is a Karmic one, a Challenge to Discern the Truth about our Karma and our Mission.  And our Intuitions about our Longstanding Desires will give us an excellent education on  the Truth about our Karma and our Mission (the two T-Squares are one Sign apart, which means it’s about Pattern-Breaking).  Our Karma or Held Emotions are marked as The Most Important Thing, and our Mission is marked as Requiring Ego Death.

That should actually be no Surprise, as the Essence of Karma is that it Requires Ego Death to Transcend.  It’s a little heavier than, say, Reverting a Peanut-Butter-for-Lunch Habit.  But this Message says that The Time Is Now.  The Boon in the Neptune-Station chart is that our Dualistic mind will benefit us (Grand Trine in Air), particularly our Attention to our Longstanding Desires (Jupiter in Sagittarius).

Our interpretation of Jupiter in Sagittarius as our “Longstanding Desires” is a little indirect.  Jupiter symbolizes our Lust for Expansion, and our Desires certainly Expand us.  Of course our Resistance to our Desires makes it seem like they’ll Shrink us, but that’s just our Resistance.  Achieving a Desire puts us in that Empty place that Requires another Desire to replace the retired one, lest we Loose the Sense of Self that comes with a Directed Striving – which process is actually an Expansion.  it’s also a version of an Ego Death, but one that has an Easier Prognosis than those resulting from I’d Rather Die Than Feel That Again.

Sagittarius is about Letting Go.  It’s about Changes (Mutable) in our Spirituality (Fire).  Air and Fire Signs are related because mentality (Air) is the ladder to Spirit (Fire).  Our Consciousness Expands when we pry loose a bar in the Mental Birdcage that defines our Limitations.  Our Core Longstanding Desires are to Transcend those Limitations, but our Longstanding Desires as we perceive them ARE the bars in our Birdcage.  Yes, Neptune is about Confusion – need an example?

Suppose for instance we Crave Freedom from the Constraints of Limited Money.  We interpret that Desire as Wanting More Money.  But that’s not what Limits us.  What Limits us is The Belief that we Need More Money to Thrive.  That Belief is a bar in our Birdcage, a Mental-Emotional, probably Programmed, probably Karmic, Construct that Holds our Reality together.  Yes, Holds our Reality Together.  Contemplate Living without Money for a minute, and Feel all of your Structures crumbling around you.  The astrological symbol for the Glue that Holds Reality Together is the Moon, and sure ’nuff, the Moon is one corner of the Grand Trine (and Jupiter Kite) in the Neptune-Station chart.

So in Real Life, your Longstanding Desires are symbols for your Lust for Transcending your Limitations.  Now, that’s a Jungian Perspective, one that assumes the primary Drive in the Unconscious is the Urge to Wholeness, one that everyone who persists in reading this blog certainly has.  We don’t mean to imply that Everyone shares this primary Drive.  Others may be primarily Driven by, for instance, an Urge to Be Adulated, or an Urge to “drink tea, save animals, and nap,” as the tag on my Buddha Teabag suggests today.  We don’t want or need to project our Urge to Wholeness on anyone else, because that will only impede our Ascension.  In fact, trying to Influence or Judge anyone else’s Life in any way always impedes our own Ascension.