Archive for the ‘Shame’ Category

Gauntlet XII – More Con Games

April 24, 2018

Well, we get a couple of weeks without Stations, till the Ides of May.  That should be a relief.

In the interim, Action/Agitation meets Compulsion on 26 April (4am PDT) when Pluto Initiates Mars, beginning a new two-year Cycle at 22 Capricorn, “By accepting defeat gracefully, a general reveals nobility of character.”  As Alan Watts averred, it’s harder to Let Go of our “Good” Karma than our “Bad” Karma.  So we may be Asked to Let Go of our Attachment to Success over the next few days and the next couple of years.

Then on 28 April (12am PDT) Juno leaves Pisces and moves into Aries.  Since Juno represents the Edges of Consciousness, that should make Life a little Easier, as we’re likely to be Growing our Spiritual Consciousness more rather than our Emotional Consciousness.  While Held Emotions (the one we’d Rather Die than Feel) may not be so prominent, we’re still likely to be dealing with Death, as one of the more prominent elements of Spirit is its immutability.  If that’s an intellectual Concept for you rather than a Foundation of your Beliefs, you may be in for Surprises.

Chariklo is about Confidence, and we’ve just squirmed out of a fairly big Challenge to our Confidence, as Chariklo and Pluto shared their Stations over the last few days (Gauntlet IX to XI).  It turns out though that our Confidence Work isn’t quite done.  For the next week we’ll be Working on Confidence in our Self-Sovereignty, as Chariklo Initiates Lilith on 1 May, starting a new nine-year Cycle at 20 Capricorn – “A hidden choir singing during a religious service.”

The “hidden choir” could be our True Self telling us what we’d be Doing and Saying if we were Speaking and Acting from our Self-Sovereignty, or it could be the echos of the many Voices that, throughout our Life, have told us Who and How We Should Be and Do instead of Being and Doing Ourself.  As a Jungian I assume that the Unconscious is always trying to move us forward, even when it requires us to walk through the Swamp instead of around it. 

So I’m opting for the Hidden Choir being our Shoulds.  After all, would our True Self be Shoulding on us?  You know how it Feels when you ignore an Intuition, that “Still Small Voice”?  That’s more likely to be the Voice of our True Self.  Mine doesn’t come from over my Shoulder.  When we get talkback from over our Should-er, if we Notice and just Imagine turning our head to look, or listening for the tone of voice and accent, or just Asking, it will probably be pretty easy to Discern whose Shoulds we’ve Internalized as our own in the current case.

Then we can cycle through Anal-yzing, PIAVAing, and State-Changing (Tapping, Kegeling, Poor-Sweethearting, Cancel-Neutralize-Upgrading, and the like) to examine the Agenda of that particular Control Freak, to see if their input is still useful in our Present Life.

Which is kind of the Other Side of the Coin here, or the Other Side of the Mirror – when our own Control Freak comes out of its cave and we Notice that we’re wanting someone else to Act or Speak differently than they are, it would be of great value to our Evolution for us to cycle through Anal-yzing, PIAVAing, and State-Changing to get to the Roots of our own Distaste for whatever it is that they’re up to. 

It may contribute more to Confidence in our Self-Sovereignty to Work with the times when we Should Other, than it does to Work with the Internalized Voices that Should us!

Be Mindful that Shame and Guilt are primary tools that Control Freaks use to manipulate our Behavior, so be Aware that these Emotions may be your first indication that you’re being Shoulded.  Nothing wipes out Confidence and Sovereignty faster and more completely than Shame, and it takes a huge Effort to get Present with Shame.  The first step is Noticing, and if you’re lucky enough to do that, then Poor-Sweethearting will be worth trying, as well as Tapping and Kegeling.

Karma Station II

April 9, 2018

Well, as we said (more or less) at the end of the previous post, at the Karma Station, Rebirth (Haumea) was flying high and pointing Heavenward at the top of a Kite while Challenged (T-Squared) by the Dilemma (Opposition) of How Much Truth (Aletheia) can we stand to Integrate into our New Beginning (Klotho), while Grounded (the tail of the Kite) by Revelation of our Soul’s Purpose (Eris-Uranus).  Resolution of the Challenge is much aided (Diamond Star) by Cooperation (Sextile) between Fear (Sedna) and Self-Love (Sappho).

In the chart Haumea doesn’t look like it’s soaring much; it’s in the lower left.  The orientation of the chart is determined by the time zone and time of day.  On the Left Coast of North America, Haumea was overhead at 11:30pm PDT on 7 April, while the chart is for the moment of Karma’s Station at 6pm.  We focus on Energy, as embodied by the Angles and Configurations.  In this regard, Energy is Exalting Haumea, no matter where She is in the circle.

That’s an interesting concept, Fear Cooperating with Self-Love to midwife a Rebirth of our Soul’s Purpose into the Ego.  In fact, Fear Cooperating with Self-Love by itself is an interesting concept.  Remember though that it’s not any part of the Cosmos that’s Negative or Positive, it’s our Perception that can make that part seem one or the other.  And of course the Dualistic mind dearly Loves to Separate, Evaluate, and Pronounce, whereas in Real Life it’s just It Is As It Is, the Judgments are our own, almost always having to do with our Held Emotions.  We’ve been Learning lately how Fear is just Power, and a lot of it – as our Kegels have been demonstrating, eh? 

Let’s look at that Grounding Chord, Uranus-Eris.  This is a new Cycle that lasts almost a century.  The Initiation was 8 June 2016 (around 10pm PDT) at 24 Aries, “Blown inward by the wind, the curtains of an open window take the shape of a cornucopia: Openness to the influx of spiritual energies.”  With less than five Degrees of Separation, this Cycle is just beginning to burrow Underground.  It won’t emerge into mainstream Culture until 2039 (the Waxing Square), another two decades.

This illustrates one of the most important elements of Self-Sovereignty.  If we’re mirroring our Culture or copying our betters instead of following our Heart, we’ll be deep in Denial about the ongoing Influx of Spiritual Energies.  Like the sign on the wall where I used to work, “If you’re not part of the Solution, you’re part of the Problem.”  This first quarter of a Cycle is where Foundations are built – by those who Respect the Energy whether Weasel News promotes it or not. 

Which takes us back to the first chart in the previous post, the 15-19 Degree chart.  The Initiation of the Moon by Lilith occurred two hours after the Karma Station, only a Degree and a half from being exactly one Sign away.  Moon Cycles only last a month, but they’re very much In-Your-Face, as any woman can aver.  The Cycle was born at 17 Capricorn, “A repressed woman finds a psychological release in nudism: The escape from bondage to social inhibitions and a reliance upon the wisdom of the body.”  This symbol is about the Degree, not the Moon or Lilith – the reiteration of theme is as serendipitous as it is remarkable.

This foretells a major Letting Go of Unconscious Codependent Patterns over the next month, perhaps at the price of having to confront Held Emotions.  Held, or Forbidden, Emotions are those which guard the sanctity of our Karma.  They’re almost always Unconscious, since unless we’re one of those people who’s fond of saying “I’m not one of those people who…” then we repeat those Patterns without even noticing that we’re doing it; it’s just the Way the World Is to us.

The Angle between Karma and the Initiation, an Unx (one Sign – “Unx” means one twelfth), tells us that we’re peering into the doorway to the Unconscious.  As such, our most Powerful tool is probably PIAVA (Prayer, Intention, Asking, Vizualising, Affirming, plus several extensions – see https://astrobuss.wordpress.com/category/manifestation/piava-review/).  When we’re dealing with the Unconscious, Dynamic or Masculine methods of Creativity just create the sort of messes Shakespeare and Homer loved to write about.  We need Magnetic or Feminine methods.

The Unconscious is in many many ways a Wild Animal, and we don’t tame a Wild Animal with a leghold trap.  We patiently Offer Her Food at a neutral location, and sit patiently quite a distance away, with our gaze perpendicular to the Critter, keeping our Expectations low.   Every several days we try moving a half-inch closer, while watching out of our corner-eye to see if our Intended is nervous.  If She is, we back off a little the next day. 

She knows we’re there, and our presence is a counterpoint to our Gift, a condition so to speak.  She knows that this is a Negotiation, and that She has the upper hand.  She makes these kinds of Negotiations every day, for Survival, with other Critters big and small, and She’s an Expert at the Art of the Deal.  So we follow the PIAVA recipe – Ask (Offer), Change the Subject (at least pretend to look the other way), and Pay Attention (did She accept my moving closer?).  Maybe something like…

“I Wonder What I might do to Prepare myself for meeting my Karma head-on.”

Or, using the more audacious Command version (https://astrobuss.wordpress.com/category/manifestation/piava/theta/) because it has the advantage of instant feedback, so we can work in many iterations in a short amount of time…

“God/Goddess, Creator of All That Is, I Command that I meet my Held Emotions Bravely, Lovingly, and Gently.  It Is Done, It is Done, It is Done.  Thank you, God/Goddess.  …(deep Breath)…  Show me.”

The other end of the Opposition to the Stationary asteroid Karma is Asbolus – the sort of Intuition that leads us to Experiences which Create Wisdom.  That’s actually Perfect for dealing with Held Emotions, but remember that our Karma does not Grasp us, we Grasp it.  And, being Conscious, we have Choice.  So we can Choose to Encounter Wisdom Bravely, Lovingly, and Gently, even if – or especially if – we don’t know yet what it is we’re about to Encounter.

Using Theta Commands will give us clues so we can be better Prepared, though when we’re dealing with the Unconscious we always need to Expect Surprises.  Having our Surprises served with sides of Love and Gentleness, and Bravery, will be a boon.  When Theta gives us clues that trigger Emotion (as is likely in this case), don’t forget Tapping and Kegels, and of course Breathing. 

The Sabian Symbol suggests that Shame may be involved, as that’s a frequent Reaction to Nudity.  Shame is one of the most Difficult Emotions, if not the most Difficult Emotion, to stay Present for.  It’s highly skilled at totally overwhelming the Present Moment and the Ego.  We can be Hypnotized just by hearing the name that our Shamers called us.  It would probably behoove to Meditate on every recollection we have of Shame, and maybe include…

“God/Goddess, Creator of All That Is, I Command that I Bravely, Lovingly, and Gently stay Present, Grounded, and Strong when Shame threatens to Arise, and even more so when it actually does Arise.  It Is Done, It is Done, It is Done.  Thank you, God/Goddess.  …(deep Breath)…  Show me.”

Practice it, so you Recognize it instantly and Respond Lovingly to your Self and to the Stress in your Body.  It’s your Karma, it’s not something you haven’t Experienced before.  And you know in advance, if you remember, that this is a Flushback, not a re-enactment.  Karma is a movie.  You’re either in the audience, or sucked into the screen.  Let the Emotions wash over you, but stay in the audience this time, K?  The more you Practice, the Easier it gets.

Fear, Disconnection, Shame

May 30, 2017

Much Gratitude to a reader who has advised us that Attachment Parenting International has published an interview with Dr. Daniela Sieff on Fear, Disconnection, and Shame, at…

http://theattachedfamily.com/membersonly/?article=understanding-and-healing-emotional-trauma-interview-with-daniela-sieff-phd

Dr. Sieff calls the Lived Reality that results from literally Internalizing Childhood Trauma our “Trauma-World,” characterized by “Perceiving the World through a veil of Fear,” “Disconnecting from aspects of Ourself,” and  an “Identity that becomes interwoven with Shame.”  This Trauma-World is embedded in the “muscles, hormones, nervous system, and brain structure that underlie our Feelings and our ways of Perceiving and Engaging with the World.”  It Lives in our Cells.  In this article and in her book Understanding and Healing Emotional Trauma she nails much of what we usually refer to as Karmic Archetypes, Held Emotions, Abandoned Genius, Limiting Beliefs, and Self-Sabotage.

That’s the view from where we Are, looking backward.  There’s a good chance this view still holds homework for us.

The view looking forward is quite different…

http://suzanneliephd.blogspot.com/2017/05/threshold-to-fifth-dimensions.html

” ‘Where are you?’ you ask in a frustrated manner.  ‘If you are my fifth dimensional guide, why don’t I see you?’

“ ‘You cannot see me anymore than I can see you.  WE are ONE!  Can you see your heart beat?  Can you see your stomach digest, or your nervous system jumping from synapse to synapse?  I, your fifth dimensional self live within you.  In the same manner that I shine out from you.

“Take this sentence into your sleep.  Take this message into your daily life.  Take this message into your meditations and reflections.”

Time for more pirouettes.  Not really pirouettes, nor Semazen, but turning.  When you come out of a room and are about to turn right, instead stop, then turn in place counterclockwise (toward the left) three quarters of a full circle before you step forward.  To turn left, stop, then turn in place clockwise 270 Degrees before you step forward.  You’ll be just a tiny bit dizzy, not uncomfortable, but just a bit Detached from your usual “Reality.” 

When Pluto was in Scorpio, in the late 1980s and early 1990s, “The Way Out Was Through” – that is, we had to jump into the deep end of whatever we were Resisting.  From the mid-nineties to the mid-oughts, Pluto was in Sagittarius, and “The Way Out Was Through Letting Go.”  Now, until 2023, Pluto is in Capricorn – “The Way Out is to Just Do It.”  When we’re Stuck, sure, we’ll Need to go back and Retrieve the part of our Self that we Left Behind. 

Dan Scranton’s Channel today suggests…

“This is a moment for you to look at how far you’ve come, because the experience of your expansion depends upon your acknowledgement of yourself.  If you continue to see only the things that you need to work on, then you’re not going to enjoy the experience.  If you look for areas that need improvement because you think you must in order to make the shift, you’re not going to enjoy the experience.

“If instead you look at yourselves and you recognize how powerful the experience of awakening is, you will take yourselves to the next level joyously.  And this journey that you are on is all about finding the opportunities for joy within it.  It is inevitable that you will make the journey, but how you do it, whether you will go with ease and with joy in your hearts, or whether you struggle and strive and are hard on yourselves, these are the choices that are in front of you.

“Make the choice that supports what it is that you want to experience, both on the remainder of your journey here to the fifth dimension, and also, once you arrive.  Once you arrive, you will still have expanding to do.  So you might as well start enjoying this journey now.”

http://danielscranton.com/how-far-you-have-come-%e2%88%9ethe-9th-dimensional-arcturian-council/

Bottom line: as usual, it’s Both/And.

Red Rutile (Titanium Dioxide) Crystals clustered like a fasces, going Both ways on a Matrix of Muscovite (Sodium Aluminum Fluoride) Mica Books going every which way, pirouetting, as is their wont.  Muscovite invites your Higher Self to join “you,” while Rutile sharpens your Attention.