Archive for the ‘Anxiety’ Category

Confusion and Leavia

June 25, 2016

This is very timely…

https://alchemicalastrology.wordpress.com/2016/06/25/pluto-teachings-on-impermanence/

Confusion is the first stage of Growth.

As Saturn Wanes toward Neptune over the next several years, we need to expect a Breakdown in the Definition (Saturn) of our Cultures (Neptune) that will require (Saturn) us all to shift our primary Perspective away from Matter and toward Spirit (Neptune). 

Someone on the BBC referred to Britain as being divided into two countries, Leavia and Remainia.  It’s amazing how much Fear-based propaganda is being thrown at Leavia – which I guess shouldn’t be surprising, since Remainia was a project of the Corporate Elites and their Fellow Travelers.  London was all Remainia – London is Britain’s “Wall Street.”  When do we get NAFTexit?

The Future hasn’t been Co-Created yet.  Our corner of it will be influenced greatly by what we PIAVA – including all those Unconscious and Semi-Conscious PIAVAs that we put out there under the guise of Anxiety.  Though it should help to Cancel, Neutralize, Upgrade those, and replace them as quickly as we can with PIAVAs for What We Do Want for ourself and for our role in the World.

“My power is over myself, is over how I learn to master myself.  Not about how I suppress my emotions but, more perhaps, about how I can work with these powerful energies.  CONSCIOUSLY.”

Yes, Power With ourself, not Power Over.  The difference is subtle and Powerful, critical for Co-Creating a desirable Future, and well described by Starhawk’s amazing and Life-Changing book Truth or Dare.  

Empathy with Self is fundamental.  “You poor Sweetheart, you’re feeling uncomfortable Emotions, aren’t you.  I Wonder what it would be like to Embrace them, to Locate them in my Body and put all of my Attention there, Lovingly and Gently.”  My own Response to doing this – when I remember to do it (Ay, there’s the rub, eh?!?), is a feeling of Ecstasy, though not always right away.  Maybe I can PIAVA to remember more often.

“It’s about finding ways to keep yourself centered so nothing (am I deluding myself?!) can throw you off balance.  Nothing!

Alas, we do need to be Vulnerable, and Embrace Confusion for itself, without trying to Change it.  Resistance to Vulnerability and Confusion is a serious Growth-preventing Limiting Belief.  Maybe we can resolve the apparent Contradiction by counting Both “Centered” And “Uncentered” as two distinct Emotions, and PIAVAing “how to work with these powerful energies Consciously” so we can build new Patterns that will allow us to Embrace them both automatically, before they throw us off Balance enough that we can’t Recover our Grounding in a short time.

“Feeling fearful or anxious won’t make any situation better.”

No, but we do need to Embrace our Fear as a valid Emotion (and Tap it out when it Feels Overwhelming – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QzVd6Ww0as4 ).  And Learn to quickly recognize Anxiety as mental noise that keeps us from Feeling uncomfortable Emotions, so we can get right to work Learning how to Lovingly and Gently Embrace those Emotions, Rapidly and Completely.

Venus, Mars, and Yintegrity

June 1, 2016

Venus is dancing with the 4 June New Moon, Mars is very busy, and of course Yintegrity is the bottom line here as we approach the 9 June Eris-Uranus Initiation.  If you haven’t been dancing with Rebirth of your Sexuality and Sensuality (Venus and Mars) yet, to bring it more in line with your Yintegrity, you’re probably overdue.  The Royal Star Regulus is still lit up, so be mindful that Revenge (Mars) may backfire.

Mars, after turning Retrograde at the Ides of April, reached it’s astrological Opposition to the Sun on 22 May, backed into Scorpio on 27 May, reached it’s cosmological Opposition to the Sun (closest approach to Earth in a decade) on 29 May, and turns Direct again on 29 June.  If you’re feeling or encountering a lot of bitchiness (as one reader calls it) or lack of Satisfaction (as Mick would call it), you can probably blame Mars.  Of course, if you’re being Victimized by Mars, we’d interpret that as a Denial of ______ [you’ll have to PIAVA how to fill in the blank; it’d be different for everyone].

Mars’s Shadow Period (span of Retrogradation) covers 24 Scorpio to 9 Sagittarius, the last two and-a-half Duads of Scorpio (adjustments to the Ego to Balance new Learnings) and the first three and-a-half Duads of Sagittarius (testing our New Ego in social settings).  Scorpio is about Fearlessly Digging Deep, and Sagittarius is about Letting  Go.  Mars entered its Shadow Period February 18.  So…

Whatever business it is that we haven’t finished and which we danced with in the last half of February, after we tried and failed to Let It Go over the last three months, it’s back.  YooHoo.  So now we have to immerse ourselves in it.  Locate it in our Body and just Be in that spot for a month.  Dr. Kim must have a good astrologer or good Intuition, because as it often is, her current message is right on…

http://drkimderamo.com/ever-feel-like-youre-going-backwards/

The New Moon is very busy…

It’s in Gemini, Conjunct Venus, and it’s one corner of a Grand Cross with Saturn, Jupiter-North Node, and Neptune-South Node.  It’s also the head of a Kite, on a Saturn-Hopi-Mnemosyne Fire Grand Trine.  The Neptune-South Node corner of the Grand Cross is the head of a second Kite, on a Pluto-Jupiter/North Node-Aletheia Earth Grand Trine.  The Kites are connected by two Yods, to Hopi/Leo from Pluto-Neptune, and to Pluto/Capricorn from Hopi and the New Moon.

Stressful, but the Rewards for Surrendering Control and PIAVAing what you lack should be fabulous.  If they aren’t, PIAVA the next step – you may also need something else, you may need to go Deeper, or your mind may just be leading you into one of those blind Either/Or alleys.  You may need to Wonder what to PIAVA.  It could just be Patience.  We’re in the Soup till 9 June.  That doesn’t mean we have to Suffer, but it also means that perfect Comfort is likely to escape us.

The second, Jupiter-Neptune axis of the Grand Cross is malformed, as Jupiter does not really Oppose Neptune.  Jupiter recently backed up to within a Degree and-a-half of completing the Opposition, then changed its mind and went back the other way.  The real Opposition took place last September.  That Opposition was the Blooming of the very momentous Neptune-Jupiter and simultaneous Chiron-Jupiter Initiation, in May 2009, a prelude to the 2010 Neptune-Chiron Initiation.  All three of these Initiations occurred in 27 Aquarius, “An ancient pottery bowl filled with fresh violets.”  If you have the time, you might want to review “Chiron-Neptune” in the list of Categories at right.

These Fresh Violets are a Symbol we recognize, as the theme for the initially-alternate economy that is being formed as the dregs of the Industrial-Age economy limp into the Digital Age.  And we recognize the Chironean Despair that surrounded the recent Derivative Crisis (advertised by the corporate media as a “Subprime Loan” Crisis; this theme of making the Victims into Criminals is a trend that’s just starting).  

The Industrial-Age economic infrastructure that died in 2010 isn’t fixable; it will have to be replaced with “Fresh Violets,” but the bankers are stretching it out as long as they can because they’re getting rich off if it and hoping to make it into the 1% before it’s too late, and because the 1% haven’t figured out yet how to checkmate China and the other contenders (including us) as they plan their own new infrastructure. 

Eventually the alternate economy will go mainstream as the seed of the first Digital Age Survival strategy for the Analog portion of the 99%.  It’s about growing our own Food, trying to protect ourselves from the political corruption and poisoned Earth that Predatory Capitalism leaves almost everywhere on the Planet, creating local Community, adapting the portions of new technology that are accessible to us (such as 3D printing), and growing Resilience.  

We can probably safely assume that for most of us the future will look more like present-day Libya or Syria or the Palestinian dilemma, than the Sound of Music or the Gatsby.  One of the best handbooks for the alternate economy is probably Permaculture Magazine, and its new Western-Hemisphere spinoff.  The ancient Popular Mechanics is also surprisingly useful.

The fact that the Jupiter-Neptune axis of the Grand Cross does not complete suggests that…

This New Moon and its Grand Cross may unleash a lot of Paper Tigers – bundles of Fear that look like Monsters from our Karmic past.  If this is true, then there will likely be an economic feint (or faint) in June – the long-promised demise of the current economic shell game will appear to be happening, while its actual demise may be delayed until after the US elections.  The appearance of demise will probably be enough to bring us all face to face with our Survival Fears.

Other than knowing that we’re in the Void phase of the final Jupiter-Saturn Cycle of the Industrial Age, and that there will most likely be a Cultural component to this Eris-Uranus Revelation of Denial business (think Global Balming, Poverty, Predatory Capitalism, for-profit medicine), I haven’t looked at the rest of the year and decade yet astrologically.  I will soon.

The unfortunate Truth is that the 1% have become expert at “Crisis Investing,” which means taking maximum advantage of the Victims of any Crisis, the way W and his cronies did after Hurricane Katrina or 9/11 (see Naomi Klein’s Shock Doctrine or John Perkins’s New Confessions of an Economic Hit Man if you want to learn how that’s done – or just watch The Donald).  So whatever occurs on the Cultural or Global scale, we need to PIAVA that Huperity has reached a Tripping Point, and that Miracles are available to the Planet.  There is ample potential for that.

The New Moon is also the head of a Kite, on a Saturn-Hopi-Mnemosyne Fire Grand Trine.  The Neptune-South Node corner of the Grand Cross is the head of a second Kite, on a Pluto-Jupiter/North Node-Aletheia Earth Grand Trine.  The Kites are connected by two Yods, to Hopi/Leo from Pluto-Neptune, Hopi meaning Respect for All Things, and to Pluto/Capricorn from Hopi and the New Moon.  Fire and Earth form a potent Alchemical combination.

The New Moon is also Trioctile (Rebalancing) to the recent Lilith-Juno Initiation (Around a campfire a group of young people sit in spiritual communion” – bringing Yindependence to the Edges of our Consciousness), which Initiation is in turn at the head of a Quintile Yod from Vesta and Chiron.

Our Choice Points are really whether to be in Despair about how our Unconscious Beliefs in Limitation have us shackled, or to be Willing to move toward Miracles by PIAVAing what we don’t believe is attainable – or perhaps that we don’t believe it’s attainable – and by Empathizing with what’s really going on.  “You poor Sweetheart, you’re really swimming in Self-Rejection here, aren’t you” for instance.  PIAVAs about trying to Heal our Despair by Changing External Reality will probably not work as well here; it’s an inside job.

The mindstuff that forms the content of our Anxieties is what needs to be jettisoned as soon as possible, so we can instead use our scarce Attention Resources to either focus directly on our Anxiety itself (for instance Tapping Out “Even though I feel very Worried, I deeply and completely Love and Accept myself”), or to go Deeper and begin to get Comfortable with the Real Feelings that our Anxiety is trying to hide from us (“I Wonder what Real Emotions are underneath my Anxiety, and how I might Heal their Source”).

This is the Gift of the Neptune-South Node Kite.

We’ll look at the Uranus-Eris portion of the New Moon chart in the next installment.

 

Dr. Kim on Anxiety

January 20, 2016

The recording of Dr. Kim D’Eramo’s excellent webinar on Anxiety is at …

http://events.attendthisevent.com/Flyer/?eventid=78606075

Here’s a fabulous quote from her intro email…

“I’ve had some great questions about EFT Meridian Tapping and the video series I put out last week.  One of them:

” ‘Why do we tap on the ‘negative’ thoughts?  Doesn’t that cause more negativity?  Don’t I need to be positive?’

“My answer: Tapping (on the meridian points) neutralizes the disturbing thoughts or emotions in your brain.  There really are no negative thoughts or emotions; there are just those that trigger your body’s stress response and block you from health. 

“When you have resistance to something (whether it’s a person who gets on your nerves or resistance to feeling angry or sad), it generates toxic chemicals in your brain and body.  That’s what makes the thought FEEL negative.  When we believe things that are not true, our body responds to let us know! 

“Holding resistance not only ages you, increases pain and impairs healing…it limits your brain activity, so you continue to ‘stress’ about that thought again and again without seeing the solutions, even if they’re right in front of you!

“Tapping literally ‘changes your brain’ so you free your body to experience ease, joy and vitality.  It’s sooo much simpler than most people think.  That’s the miracle of your body!”

Scroll down to the “Tapping” Category in the right-hand column of this page to find her web page on the Tapping protocol she uses – it’s basically the same as Jessica Ortner’s, which you’ll also find there, along with Dr. Kim’s website.

Signing up for her email newsletter on her website will get you great ideas almost daily for Stress relief.

Emotion and Trauma

November 24, 2015

Emotions are not an Energy to be Controlled, they’re an Energy to be Respected and Listened to.  Without our Emotions we couldn’t keep ourself Safe, we couldn’t find Community, we couldn’t Transition from one Life phase to another.  Emotion becomes a problem when it Overwhelms all of our other Media.  We’re awakened in the middle of the night by a noise in the house, and our Body is overcome by Fear.  We become Ungrounded, and the mind is only useful for trying to figure out what the noise was and how much time we have to escape before being hacked to death by the neighborhood Samurai.  

Compared to our normal State of Being, and compared to being Grounded and Centered, our Experience of our Body is entirely different when Fear grips it.  In that kind of circumstance, we want to suppress our Fear Reaction just enough to Recover all of our other Senses, so we can be fully Present for attending to any danger that may actually befall us.  In other circumstances, Fear or Anger or Grief may grip us, but our Experience of our Body isn’t Overwhelmed.  Instead, our mind is Overwhelmed by Anxiety or Worry or Hypervigilance.  Actually, in many Experiences of that sort, our Sense of our Body may actually be very different – but our Anxiety is taking up so much bandwidth that we don’t even know what our Body Feels like.

Then there is Trauma and its aftereffects, situations where we are definitely not in the Present Moment, but reliving a segment of our Trauma.  We can’t Judge Trauma objectively; we can’t say whether we should or shouldn’t have been Traumatized when Ms. Grundy shamed us in front of the class, or we fell off that roof, or Uncle Fred slapped us for farting during Thanksgiving dinner, or the Nightly News comes on.  Or worse.  Trauma Reactions are subjective.  They depend on our State of Being as much as the exterior stimuli, and not in any predictable way.  The difficulty with Trauma is that it keeps on giving.

When a Present-Moment situation triggers a memory of part of our stored Trauma, we React as if we were in the middle of the Trauma, when it occurred.  And it occurs on the Unconscious level, so we don’t know that we’re not in the Present Moment.  Until we notice that the cars don’t have tail-fins, or that we aren’t in the jungle or the desert, or that the wallpaper is a different color.  Drunk drivers kill more people every week than were killed in Paris, and in the US allopathic medicine kills more people in two hours.  But we don’t notice that, because the Paris attacks trigger different stored Traumas.  Unless it was our own family or friends that were killed by drunk drivers or allopathic medicine.

Gilles gives us an interesting Perspective from stage right…

https://sailingondreams.wordpress.com/2015/11/22/slippery-ice/

And Donna taps Dawson Church for a thorough Tapping sequence that can probably be adapted for dealing with any resurrections of Trauma…

http://innersource.net/em/article/468-resources/1173-tapping-script-for-incomprehensible-tragedy.html

It’s an excellent example of the form Tapping can take when it’s taken seriously – as it deserves to be.  Many people say “Oh I tried Tapping and it didn’t work,” but I question whether they’ve tried it to this extent.

I remember lifting my head at the wrong time while crawling under a table, and after I Recovered my sense of Self, making an Oath never to let myself be unaware of my surroundings like that again.  I was probably about nine.  Some of our Traumas came with Oaths, and some didn’t.  When Mother Shamed us we may have Sworn never to let anyone see that we were Shamed, in hopes that they’d lose interest if they didn’t see a result.  Or maybe an Oath never to get caught doing that again.  We make Oaths like this fairly often, usually without considering the context and unintended consequences.  Each one becomes a Limiting Belief, mostly Unconscious, and constrains our Future.

You’d think that if I decided I wanted to, I could bang my head on the underside of a table all I wanted, and that’s probably true, though you’d also think I’d be old enough to know better.  But what about other situations where I don’t want to be hypervigilant about my surroundings.  Suppose I want to relax my Boundaries so the Birds in the Garden can come speak to me.  Or I want to avoid jerking my head when I see something move out of the corner of my eye, because when I do that I’ll never make contact with the Sylph there.  It’s much harder to downshift from the unintended consequences of our Oaths, and in fact often very difficult to connect our current Limiting Beliefs to our historical Oaths, because our vision doesn’t penetrate the Veil.

Oaths are declarations of Intention – PIAVAs, and to reverse them we need a reverse PIAVA – an AVIAP if you will.  If “I Intend to reverse the Oath that Separates me from connecting with the Critters and the Faeries,” then I’ll need to Change the Subject and Pay Attention this time.  I may need to Pay Attention not to hit my head, if indeed this is the Oath that applies here.  The adage, “Be Careful what you Ask For” very much applies here.  When we PIAVA or make an Oath, we’re calling Energy out of the Ethers and coaxing it into Form.  In some circles, all broken Oaths must be Punished.  If we’re dealing with an Oath that severely Limits us, we may want to Celebrate this Punishment!

Supposed for instance in our youth we Vowed not to Cause Trouble, however it was that our Significant Adults at the time defined “Cause” and “Trouble.”  We could easily have made such an Oath because we were tired of being Punished by them, even though their definition of Trouble never made sense in our own playbook.  Well, now that we’re compelled to Open up to our Pathological Genius, we may need to “Cause Trouble,” in many ways by many definitions.  Pathological Genii are Disrupters, and Disrupters Cause Trouble for the Status Quo.  When we make an Oath to accept the Trouble that our Pathological Genius will create, our Psyche will Punish us, because in making our original Oath we were Merged with our then-Significant Adults.  

They’re no longer around, but a portion of our own Unconscious carries their Energy, and fills in for them.  If you think they no longer have Control over us because we’ve “grown up,” try going home to their house for a few days.  That self-administered Punishment may just take the form of Anxiety, or appear in the form of “Accidents,” like my bumping my head.  Or worse.  Remember how Confusion is good because it’s the first stage of Growth?  Well, maybe we need to adopt the same approach to Anxiety and Accidents.  Oh, there’s Anxiety!  I must be Breaking Through a Limiting Belief!  “I Wonder what Limiting Belief this Anxiety is connected to!” (that’s a PIAVAW).  Curiosity about these Realms will help us untangle ourselves from the Archetypes and Oaths that structure our Personal Unconscious.  The more we know about that, the better.

All that just to introduce a Full Moon.  Well, not just a Full Moon, because Wednesday’s Full Moon is intimately connected to Thursdays Saturn-Neptune Square.  And once we get beyond that, the predominant Energy is that of the dwarf planet Orcus.  Orcus is the Punisher of Broken Oaths.  But we’re Learning to Recognize this Punishment as an early stage in the process of Letting Go of Restraints, Celebrate it, and Study it to understand as many of its ramifications as we can.  So we can PIAVA that our Punishment be mild and relatively obvious in how it’s Connected to what Oath or Archetype that we’re betraying, and that we notice the Connections.  The Unconscious is our Ally here, and need never be otherwise.  Since it’s in Control of our Life 99% of the time, it behooves us to befriend it.

The Full Moon Sun is Conjunct Saturn, so Neptune, Square to Saturn, T-Squares the Full Moon.  But the Stationary Orcus Opposes Neptune, so the Full Moon makes a Grand Cross with the Neptune-Orcus Opposition and the Saturn-Neptune Square.

There is Powerful Medicine here to Manifest a Reality that’s more to our liking and closer to our Heart’s Desire, based on the Limiting Beliefs we’re Releasing and the Freedom that results.

The only Grace Blessing the Grand Cross is Mars Conjunct Makemake, which Trine-Bridges the Full Moon and Quincunx-Bridges the Neptune-Orcus Opposition,

There are also very strong Insights available over the next few weeks, about how to increase our Yintegrity, and how to Enjoy doing it. 

Venus and Uranus Oppose one another at the far midpoints of the Moon-Neptune Square and the Sun-Orcus Square, respectively.  The result is two interlocking Mjolnirs on the opposite sides of the Grand Cross.

There’s more.  The Saturn Square will shake loose additional Unconscious Contents, and they will irrupt to seriously Confuse and torture us with rampant Feelings that make no sense whatsoever in our current Concept of how Reality is assembled.  Confusion!  Wow, we’re about to make leaps and bounds in our understanding of how Reality works, and this Confusion is just the first step.  Time for Celebration!  It already Feels like we’re drunk, so we may as well make it so.  But not while we’re driving – driving is dangerous enough in our Confused State.

Dwarf planet 2007 OR10 (Revelation of Unconscious Contents) is close enough to Neptune to be considered Conjunct for many purposes, and thus Opposite the Stationary dwarf planet Orcus.

Rain Mixed with Showers

November 11, 2015

Or Fear mixed with Insecurity.  As we’ve been writing about, there are plenty of astrological reasons why we might make such a forecast.  Then there’s the 11/11 itself, which I don’t pretend to know much about.  But we can certainly talk about the natural Anxiety that arises whenever we enter the Unknown, which we certainly seem to be doing.

The Most Important Thing about Anxiety or Discouragement is Discernment, Witnessing, Consciousness – the name doesn’t matter, what matters is how soon you Recognize Anxiety and Discouragement for what they are – Emotions that will trigger your Negative Thoughts.  It doesn’t even need to be your Anxiety – it could be Discouragement floating in on the airwaves from the neighbors, or from the News Hour – anybody’s Fear will trigger your Negative Thoughts.  The sooner we Notice that we’re in Anxiety or Discouragement, the sooner we can stop the hyperloop of Negative Thoughts triggering more Emotion triggering more Negative Thoughts – ad infinitum.

We’ve talked about lots of ways to stop the hyperloop.  Yesterday’s link to Dr. Kim’s website will lead you to a treasure-chest of them.  Just a few of my favorites include…

  • “Cancel, Neutralize, Upgrade”
  • Grounding
  • Running your Energy
  • Tapping
  • PIAVA what you Want
  • (and Convert your Yes-Buts into Yes-Ands)

Anxiety Loves Yes-Buts.  

“I Want ample income!”  

Yes-But you’re an Introvert, so how’s that going to happen?  

Oh, okay.  

“I Want ample income AND the Freedom to be my natural self.”  

Wow, doesn’t that put Fear of the Unknown into the Belly.  Which is where it belongs.  In the Belly, not the Thoughts.  Where do your Thoughts happen?  Noticing where in your Body the Action is occurring is a powerful Habit to develop.  Once you’re in your Belly, you can krap, ground, and Tap.  Use the “Categories” list in the column to the right if you don’t recognize a term, like “Tapping” or “PIAVA.”  If you don’t find it, leave a Comment.

Confusion between Negative Thoughts and “negative” Emotions is probably the best place to go astray around what we Want to Manifest and what we do Manifest.  There are no “negative” Emotions, only uncomfortable Emotions.  “You poor Sweetheart, that Feels awful doesn’t it.”  All Emotions need a Gentle and Loving Response.  “You poor Sweetheart, it’s hard to hold that Joy for very long, isn’t it.”  Emotion, when it’s “raw” and not yet twisted out of proportion by Thoughts, is the doorway to your Instincts.  Emotion happens in your Body.  If you’re thinking that you’re Angry or Scared, you’re not in your Body.  “You poor Sweetheart, you aren’t in the Habit of checking in with your Body, are you.”

It’s 11/11 all day.

The New Moon occurs at 10am PST ( http://www.jbuss.com/tt/pst10.htm ) on 11 November (today).  It will light up any natal planets you have close to 20 Degrees of the Fixed Signs – Scorpio, Leo, Aquarius, Taurus.

The Nessus Station is scheduled for 10am PST on 12 November.  It will trigger your natal planets near the Mutable Cusps – the last few Degrees of the Fixed Signs and the first few Degrees of Pisces, Gemini, Sagittarius, and Virgo, the Mutable Signs.

The Vesta Station happens at 10am PST on 13 November.  Your natal planets around the Cardinal Cusps – the last few degrees of the Mutable Signs and the first few degrees of Aries, Cancer, Capricorn, and Libra – the Cardinal Signs.

The Neptune Station (Confusion) isn’t at the top of the list, but only because it’s drowned out by the more prominent events.  It’ll get obvious as soon as we get past the Vesta Station, and increase in intensity till 9am PST ( http://www.jbuss.com/tt/pst9.htm ) on 18 November.

Same for the 2007 OR10 Station (Bringing our Limiting Beliefs into Consciousness), which occurs at 5pm PST ( http://www.jbuss.com/tt/pst17.htm ) on 19 November.

The Neptune Station will heat up any issues you have around your natal planets within a few Degrees of 8 Degrees of the Mutable Signs, and the OR10 Station will do the same for your natals near 3 Degrees of the Mutable Signs.

Putting all this together, the first Decanate of Pisces is pretty Lit Up this week and next.  The first Decanate of Pisces is about…

Any Unfinished Business or Emotional Baggage that we no longer need will be in our face.  If you aren’t Freaked Out, Congratulations, your Karma could be fairly clear, though you never know what yet more subtle levels will make themselves available for you to Embrace.  With Saturn in Sagittarius, our first approach should always be Letting Go.  If four or five iterations of Letting Go don’t work, then move into the center of the Pain.  “You poor Sweetheart, that feels awful, doesn’t it.”  

Take the Space you need to Heal.  Strong Emotions can shatter the Ego, and when the Ego is shattered, anything you try to do in the outside World will just mirror the shattering.  Go inside and Empathize with your shattered Self first.  There is a natural glue there – all you need to do is put your arms around ALL of yourself, gently squeeze, and hold on for long enough for the glue to cure.  You can rock yourself Gently if it helps, and whisper sweet nothings.

Today we can join a billion Hindus and help celebrate Lakshmi’s Birthday.  Lakshmi offers us Abundance – Having Enough to Share.  Her Dynamic Alter-Ego Ganeshi is the Remover of Obstacles.  Great sources of Support for us!  When you Let Go, Let Ganeshi remove any Obstacles between you and Bliss, and Let Lakshmi shower you with an Abundance of whatever you need.

November I – Let My Masks Go

October 29, 2015

Another reader points out that…

Juno is moving into place to resurrect the Quincunx Box we saw in early October, this time with Juno Opposite Uranus and Jupiter Opposite Chiron.  None of these are speedsters, so this Configuration will be with us for the next two weeks.  Venus is on Jupiter at the moment, but will move off in a couple of days.

What’ll this Configuration do for us?   More Masks will fall by the wayside (after Halloween of course) as our Soul Self moves further into Consciousness.  To the extent that our Discouragement is Amplified, so also are the Miracles that await when we stop Identifying with Discouragement and Lovingly Witness it instead.  “You poor Sweetheart, you’re feeling pretty Discouraged, aren’t you,” we say to our Emotional Self.  If we’re lucky, She’ll Embrace us back and share some of Her secrets.   Serena Williams, via Wired magazine, suggests that we code our biggest Affirmations into our most-frequently-used passwords, maybe something like “U^poOr}12SH” or “mIanXs?<=1” or “>>$$4Me!!” so they’ll be front and center all the time.  Great idea, since the hardest part is the Noticing! This really does bear repeating, because it’s an effortless way to leap into the Future.  The difficult part is remembering to do it, because when we’re lost in a Held Emotion, we aren’t in the Present Moment, so we forget all of our Present Moment Skills, and our toolbox is limited to whatever tools we had at the age we were when that Emotion got stuck.  In the Recovery Movement from the 1980s, they used the trick question “What color is the wallpaper?”  Since the Present-Moment walls probably aren’t the same color as the walls in our Regressed age, this was often enough to snap part of us back to the Present Moment.  Of course we or an ally still need to remember to Ask the question!  “W1Pap?2grN” The Healing process is as simple as this: you locate or invent a part of yourself that isn’t Identified with whatever Heavy or Negative Emotion you’re Feeling, and you have that part talk back to yourself Lovingly.  “You poor Sweetheart, you’re really Feeling sad, aren’t you.”  You Empathize with yourself.  It’s that simple.  You Witness your Emotion rather than Identifying with it.  As soon as you do this, you no longer are that Emotion, you are Empathy, Compassion.  Then you let your Emotion talk to you.  If “sad” isn’t quite right, She’ll correct you.  She may be able to tell you what was going on with Her then, that gave Her such Grief.  She can probably tell you how old She is.  Even if you hate kids of that age (which isn’t unlikely since She hated that age), you’re going to have to make an exception for Her, since She’s you. We’re using feminine pronouns because Emotion is part of our Magnetic Self – in Western astrology.  Gender roles are reversed and differently organized in many Cultures.  For instance, even in German, the Sun is She (warming, nurturing Mother) and the Moon is He (colder Father, not always There).   If She’s a He in your Body, so be it.  She could be a She at one age and a He at another, depending on who you Identified with at that age.  Notice that it may not actually be the Held Emotion itself that makes you Stuck, but the Helicopter Trips your mind does with the Emotion – “It was my own fault.  No it was their fault,” around and around.  Or even just “It was my own fault.  Why was I so stupid?”  The intellect is part of our Dynamic Self, a He in Western astrology.  Judgment is a He.  Without Judgment, all of your Emotions would be Lovable and you wouldn’t have to get Stuck. Developing a conversation and a Relationship with Her or Him is Powerful, but the act of Witnessing is Powerful in itself.  To Create Miracles you need do nothing else except Witness and then Change the Subject – get your mind busy with something else.  When your Identity shifts from Being a Held Emotion to Witnessing a Held Emotion, you’ve just Changed your position relative to the Universe.  As Einstein said, you can’t solve a problem using the same thinking that postulated the problem.  Your Witness thinks from a different paradigm.  Once you Change the Subject, new approaches to what was formerly Stuck can pop up out of nowhere, because the World is operating under different rules.

All that for Jupiter Opposite Chiron.  In general it’s the Oppositions that animate a Box Configuration.  The Angles on the long side – here Quincunxes – inform us about how the Box is animated.  The Quincunx, five twelfths of the way ’round the Zodiacal loop, represents Curiosity – the Fifth Harmonic symbolizes Learning, and the Twelfth Pattern-Breaking: I Wonder what this Habit might be good for!  

As we’ve said many times, Curiosity is the younger sibling of Love, as they both eschew Judgment.  In overintellectual patriarchal Western Culture, Curiosity is identified with intellect rather than Spirit.  Intellectual curiosity seeks answers.  Spiritual Curiosity is Awe and Wonder, the appreciation of the Mystery that does not have an answer.  With Spiritual Curiosity you don’t have Contradiction, you have Paradox.  As we age we collect Knowledge, confuse it with Wisdom, and lose touch with Awe and Wonder.  It’s not that we need to generate Curiosity; the World around us generates it constantly.  What we need to do, constantly, is reject our programming that Curiosity is the search for an Answer.  We sometimes refer to it as “Permanent Curiosity” to emphasize the difference.

The Quincunxes in this Box are Juno to Chiron and Jupiter to Uranus.  The Waning Juno-Chiron Cycle is about “In the sanctuary of an occult brotherhood, newly initiated members are being examined and their character tested” (12 Pisces, January 2014).  The Waning Quincunx is twelve Degrees shy of the Phitile, the Fruiting of the Cycle.  Twelve Degrees belongs to the Third Harmonic, Love with Wisdom.  The Waning Quincunx is a Gift for us to take beyond the Fruit, into fasting and hunger, like Gollum’s riddles.  The Waxing Jupiter-Uranus Cycle is “A woman just risen from the sea, embraced by a seal” (1 Aries, June 2010).  Uranus is also a Waning Decile from Sedna, deep in the Void.  Heavy-duty stuff.

Our Character has been Tested by the trials of the last several months and the last several years, and we have passed.  Everyone passes.  Everyone passes different parts of the Test, and everyone passes with a different “grade.”  The next Mystery to be revealed to us will depend on our “grade” and which parts of the Test we passed.  The next Mystery will be another Test, but it will also be a Gift.  This will be the last Mystery before we descend into the Void.  The Gift will be our Safety in the Void.  We can’t help but Wonder what it will be.  The Void is all about Wonder.  If we think we know what’s going on, we lose, because we drop back and repeat the previous Cycle while the World moves on without us. The Mythological Sedna was drowned by her own father in a fit of Fear.  She became the Seals.  Without the Seals, the Inuit lose their food and fuel.  It is important when hunting the Seal that Prayers go to Sedna, Prayers that the hunters, as they risk their Lives, be stronger than Fear.  Our Masks protect our Vulnerabilities, the places where we have been Shamed or threatened with Death or worse.  As our True Self pulls us away from our Masks we need the same Prayers, that we be stronger than our Fear.  We don’t Pray that our Masks endure, we Pray that we remain Safe while our Vulnerabilities are exposed, we Pray that our Ego be Transformed Lovingly and Gently, and that we can Let Go of our Resistance.  Then we Surrender to Curiosity about what will follow.

Curiosity happens under a Quincunx, we don’t have to promote it.  It happens whether we’re Conscious of it or not.  If we React to Unconscious Curiosity by indulging our Anxiety about the Future, we end up Consciously pursuing a path that’s unlikely to be the path that the Unconscious is taking.  When Consciousness competes with the Unconscious, Consciousness loses.  We’re far better off Wondering what the Unconscious has in mind for us, and Praying that our journey is Loving and Gentle.

Squares, Nodes, Mission

October 28, 2015

A reader asks…

“I’ve been reading about the ‘problem’ of resolving squares to the Nodal Axis.  What would you feel a strategy might be to resolve my natal square from Uranus to my Nodes?  I’ve often been confused – or been given confusing information about – the nature and function of my North Node in Aries in the 4th House.  Some say its a Mission to become more of ‘I,’ with a strong identity.  Within the realm of the 4th, which is supposedly focused on home, hearth, family and tradition, it almost appears I have my nodal axis upside down, and the North Node SHOULD be in the 10th, and vice versa.  With North Node in the 4th, is my Mission to become, as Garrison Keillor put it, a bachelor Lutheran farmer in Lake Wobegone?  The word and process that I reckon I’m tripping over is ‘resolve.’  Resolve what, and how?”

Yes indeed, a ton of meat here, much of it important.  For instance…

  • Squares as “problems” that need to be “resolved”
  • Squares to the Nodes
  • Uranus
  • The Fourth House
  • Aries
  • SHOULDs
  • The North Node and our Mission
  • How do we pick our way through the Maze?

There’s a fair amount of astrologuese in here, which would normally be indented in normal (non-italic non-bold) type.  But the astrologuese is pretty basic, and I explain it pretty well as I go, and this is a good example of how astrology is useful, and how it’s done.  So we’ll leave it in “general-reader” format (bold italic); skim any parts that bore or Confuse you – or Ask questions.

Squares as “Problems”

A “Square” is formed when two planets are three Signs apart.  Traditional Western Astrology regards a Square as, in so many words, a Curse.  Dane Rudhyar, one of our astrological mentors, regarded a Square as huperity’s Evolutionary Edge.  We consider a Square to be Mastery through Challenge.  There is one sense in which a Square is a Curse – Squares involve perpetual Frustration.  But we shift that by shifting our Attitude.  It’s our need for Perfection that is Frustrated, so if we Identify with Perfection (or even Satisfaction), then yes, Squares are no fun.  We could say that’s a Choice, but our own Identity is transparent to most of us most of the Time, so we have to bring it up into Consciousness before it becomes a Choice that the Ego makes – as opposed to a Choice that the Soul has made.  Clearly “Someone” Chose to be born into a Lifetime featuring a Square, so if we postulate some sort of Consciousness superior to the Lifetime, “Soul” is as good a term as any.

Squares to the Nodes

The planets and other sensitive points (such as the Nodes) in a Square involve Expectations.  In general, we’re likely to Feel a bit out of sorts when we’re Identifying with the South Node, because we’re likely to be engaged in Karmic Self-Sabotage of some sort, but likely to Feel pretty good about ourself when we’re Identifying with the North Node, since we can literally Feel the Future getting easier as we give ourselves permission to move closer to our Deepest Desires.  In the normal course of Life, this is a progression.  We’re Motivated by our crummy South-Node Experiences to find a lever to improve them, and we’re Motivated by our Deepest Desires simply because they dominate our Consciousness (whether we know it or not).  So all of us naturally Expect ourself to be moving, on average, with detours, away from Self-Sabotage and toward indulging our Deepest Desires.  A Square to the Nodes Frustrates that Expectation.

This is true of any Square.  For instance, a Square from Venus to Mars will Frustrate our Desire for a Satisfying Relationship.  A Square from Jupiter to Saturn will Frustrate our Desire for a Satisfying Social Life.  So, why would “we” (our “Soul”) Choose to live such Frustration?  Because “we” Chose to Study How to Create a Satisfying Life in regard to the nature of our Square, rather than Choosing to Enjoy a Satisfying Life in regard to the indicated arena of Life.  Once we realize that our Unconscious Objective is to Study the Process involved with our Square rather than to Enjoy it, Frustration dissolves, because when we’re Studying something, every “failure” provides more information to help us understand the Process.  No one ever “resolves” a Square; when we Master one level of our Study, we move on the next level of Subtlety.

Have you ever heard the axion “Those who can Do, Do; those who can’t, Teach”?  It’s often meant as an insult to Teachers, but it’s not that at all.  If you’re a Natural at something you can hardly Teach it, because it’s Unconscious for you – that’s what it means to be “a Natural.”  If you’ve struggled to Learn something and explored all of the blind alleys that lead only to perversions or subversions of your objective, you certainly don’t Feel like a Master – but you are!  And you have become the “Natural” to Teach it.  

There are two steps to appreciating your Squares: Honor the Mastery that’s hidden under your lifelong Frustration, and switch from Identifying with your Frustration about never “getting it right” to Identifying with your Mastery gained from Studying all the ways there are to “get it not quite right.”  So someone with a Square to their Nodes is someone who is, as Goethe put it, immer strebend, someone who können erlöst werden.

When the Zeitgeist is stable, the “Expert” is someone who knows all the right answers.  When the Zeitgeist is in flux (which it sort of is these days, just a little), the Expert is someone who’s Studied all the blind alleys – the folks with Squares.  

So someone with a Square to their Nodes has become a “Natural” at Teaching others how to Transcend their Karma.  I wouldn’t call it a “resolution,” I’d call it something more like an “accommodation,” or an “appreciation,” but there are two steps to such a “resolution” – Honor your Mastery, and switch your Identification from Frustration to Highly Motivated Student of the Subtleties.

Uranus

Now we get to Uranus as the Squaring planet.  The traditional Western astrological interpretation for Uranus is “Disruption,” because traditional Western astrology is oriented toward the Ego, the Material, and the Status Quo.  Uranus Disrupts that which is no longer in Alignment with the Soul’s Path in the Lifetime.  Uranus represents the Personal Unconscious, another concept that matches pretty well with the concept of “Soul.”  

So as we Honor our Mastery and Identify with our Student of the Subtleties, we need to be Mindful that Soul – Uranus – will be constantly bringing us up short whenever we start to Ego-Identify with any sort of Certainty.  In an undergrad course you get good grades for demonstrating your Certainty about some approximation to the “right” Answer.  In a graduate seminar you get good grades by raising new Questions to challenge the established Answers.  The Student of the Subtleties Teaches, but not because they know the Answers.  They Teach because they know what sort of Question will move someone to their next stage of Growth.  

If it’s already occurred, your Experience of when Uranus in the Sky crossed the place in your natal chart where the North Node sits, will Teach you a great deal.  Meditate yourself back into those Experiences.  If it hasn’t occurred yet, watch for it and Pay close Attention to the Experience.

The Fourth House

As the Zodiacal Sky is divided into twelve Signs, the Zodiacal Earth is divided into twelve Houses.  They correspond to one another, but while the Signs are about Energies, the Houses are about how Energies Manifest into hard copy.  The Fourth House, corresponding to Cancer or The Nurturing Mother, represents Security.  The Tenth House, corresponding to Capricorn or the Industrious Father (in the gender bias of Medieval Europe, where traditional Western astrology arose), represents Community.  The traditional meaning of the Tenth House is Career/Profession, but that’s a bias of the Industrial Revolution (which, recall, we’re leaving) and the introduction of Wage Slavery.  In Feudal Europe (most of us, except for our alternative efforts, are returning to a form of Feudalism, as the 1% hoard the planet’s Resources and enslave the rest of us; of course many have been there all along) before Industrialism, this was Community: the Cobbler made shoes for the Cooper, and Cooper made staves for the Brewer, and the Brewer made Kraut for the Cobbler’s kids.

The South Node in the Tenth House implies that you’ve brought into this Lifetime a good deal of Self-Sabotage around Community.  The Tenth and Fourth Houses are opposite sides of the same Coin; in traditional society Security depended very much on Community.  So the current Life is about Learning Security.  Chances are you grew up with little Security, so you may not be a “Natural” at it, based on your early Life Experiences.  However, the South Node is more than just Self-Sabotage.  It’s also Unconscious Skills.  You brought with you into this Lifetime a carpetbag full of Skills around Community.  Even as they remain Unconscious, if you look objectively at your Life, you can see how your Unconscious Skills with Community have kept you Alive and relatively Well.  

The South Node is also called the Dragon’s Tail.  Our Hidden South-Node Skills are symbolized by Smaug’s Treasure; Smaug is the Self-Sabotage that we need to “slay” (actually, befriend) in order to recover the Skills we developed in “Past Lives.”  We can also think of Smaug as the Veil that prevents us from reaching into the Zero Point Field (aka Akashic Records) to recover any Skill we need.  In modern biology, the direct connection between our Mitochondria and the ZPF is blocked by Held Emotions and/or stored Toxic Substances.  In the standard Hero’s Journey, we need to stand, in our fully Grounded Presence, face to face with our Greatest Fears, our “Past Deaths” so to speak, in order to overcome our Upper Limits or Self-Sabotage.

If my South Node were in the Tenth House, I’d sit in Meditation while evoking every Fear, or other Negative Energy, that I hold around Community.  Will my Community be there for me when I’m on the Edge of Survival?  Where do I Feel that in my Body?  Can I Embrace it Lovingly?  “You poor Sweetheart, you really feel Abandoned, don’t you.” – or whatever parallel Empathy is appropriate.  I’d stretch myself a little bit around Community; maybe go to a Meetup of some sort, and then afterwards Sit with all of the Feelings that arose before, during, and after.  We also may need to focus on Cleansing toxins out of the Body.  In our South Node we chronically underestimate ourself, as we Focus more on the Sabotage and seldom appreciate our Natural Skills.

You can also PIAVA Security; Imagine how it will Feel in your Body when you are completely Secure, and rehearse that Feeling frequently.  Work on your Discernment of Insecurity in any form.  Do you instantly recognize Anxiety as an Emotion when it arises, and Empathize/Embrace it on the Emotional level, or do you focus on the intellectual noise that Anxiety creates?  Security for you is a Choice.  Every day when you wake up, the first thing you want to do is PIAVA that you bring Insecurity fully into Consciousness.  You can’t Choose Security while Insecurity is Unconscious. 

Aries

Then there’s Aries.  South Node in Libra implies Self-Sabotage and Unconscious Skills around your relationship to Other.  If we are All One, who the Devil is Other?  If we’re each the Center of our own Universe, then Other is on the Periphery.  Go into Trance and have a look at how that is, objectively.  What’s the nature of the Attachment between you at the Center and Other at the Periphery?  Are you facing one another, or facing away from one another?  How far away?  Mutually Supportive, or adversarial?  Or ambivalent?  Are there Pitbulls between you, or Kittens?  Are you holding hands?  Arms crossed?  Akimbo?  What’s the Feeling?  Play with it, move the players around on the stage, add or remove props, till it Feels more comfortable and comforting.  Do that whenever you feel the need.

Aries is the “dumbbell” of the Zodiac, as it brings with it zero Experience on the Planet.  It’s driven by Spirit.  Ask Aries what it’s up to, and if you get an honest answer it’ll be “I don’t know.  It’s all an experiment.”  If it’s an Experienced Aries, “Ask me in five years” will follow.  Aries starts things,  It’s not in charge of finishing anything.  In retrospect, if Aries Trusted themselves and started what their Intuition told them to start, and didn’t let any Unbelievers (including their own Shoulds) talk them out of it, the Inventions of Aries will be remarkable.  But they’re of the Future, they make no sense in the context of the Present.  With North Node in Aries you’re flying blind.  Did you Trust your Instinct yesterday?  Then you’re on the right track.  There will be no confirmatory email.  It’s just Trust your Guidance.  That’s it.  Doesn’t matter whether it Feels right – that’s just Emotional noise.  There will be a very subtle nod of approval from the Soul when you follow your Guidance, but easily drowned out by the much louder Emotions.

North Node in Aries in the Fourth House: your Guidance is your Security.  If you try to steer using your Emotions, or second-guess your Guidance intellectually, or devolve into Certainty, go directly to jail, do not pass Go, do not collect $200.  Of course your Deepest Desires are your own, but once you work your way through the pretenders to that throne, you may find that your Deepest Desire of All is to Trust Your Guidance.  Not Faith in your “Self,” Faith in your Guidance.  If you Identify with your Guidance, you’ll resist Change.  You want to Witness your Guidance.  You get there by Discerning any Resistance to that and Loving it to death.  “You poor Sweetheart, Trust is Hard, isn’t it.”

SHOULDs

Of course our SHOULDs are mere intellectual noise.  Any semblance of Should must be recognized immediately as Captain Farrell, a diversion from the true path.  Ask who’s SHOULDing on you, see if you can develop a dialog with them.  If it’s you, how old are you?  What were you Feeling at that age – ie, what are they Feeling now as they’re SHOULDing you?  Empathize with them, see what their positive intentions for you are, and see if you can get them to Support what you Want by Supporting what they Want.  Make friends with them; once you negotiate Win-Win, they’ll be a strong part of your Guidance.

If it’s someone else, who?  What is it they want for you?  Even if their intentions are good, you need to Mirror them.  You don’t need them running your Life any more.

In this case, where you think the North Node SHOULD be up in Libra, in the outgoing section of the chart, you can probably blame your grade-school teachers.  Schoolteachers wouldn’t be teachers if they weren’t Extroverts.  Extroverts have no understanding whatsoever for Introverts.  They believe Introversion is a sickness, or a regressive gene that needs to be overcome, and they made that unequivocally clear to us when they had Power Over us.  When an Extrovert gets worn down, they recover their élan by being with Other People.  When an Introvert gets worn down, they recover with Solitude.  We’re all some of each, but usually one or the other dominates.  Which for you?  The Fourth House is deep inside us, some say deepest inside us.  You may need to Honor your Introvert here.

The North Node and our Mission

So no, no bachelor Lutheran farmer in Lake Wobegone for you.  Your children may be below average.  That would be constraining the Future, and Aries will rebel at the next crossroad, of which there will be many.  When Aries rebels, it will take you on a Heuristic detour.  Instead of moving forward in leaps and bounds, you’ll be tangled up in a remedial class in the briar patch.  If you Pay Attention to the lesson plan, you can get back to the High Road quickly.

When you’re tempted to follow your Emotions, or Believe your mental symphonies, and especially if you feel Certain about something, stop and Ask for Guidance.  Not Guidance for next week, Guidance for the next hour.  One step at a time.  That’s how Aries works.  So yes, a stronger “I,” but certainly not as in Certainty.  A stronger “I” as in constant and consistent Surrender of Control to your Guidance, constantly and Lovingly watchful for signs of Ego wanting to take credit for your many successes.  “You poor Sweetheart, you really wanted to take credit for that, didn’t you.”

How do we pick our way through the Maze?

Of course, your Nodal T-Square is only one element in your chart.  There are many others, and they all connect to one another.  For instance, what if dwarf planet Eris was near your North Node and dwarf planet Quaoar near your South Node?  Then Quaoar would Channel all manner of critical Survival Wisdom about Other and Community, while Eris would be constantly throwing Golden Apples (Revelation of what’s being Denied) into the ring.  So you’d have to Learn how to phrase your Golden Apples so as not to alienate their recipient.  Listen to a recording of one of Byron Katie’s sessions if you ever get the chance.  When she reads someone else, it sounds terribly Abusive.  But the person she’s reading is all smiles and nods, appreciating the Mirroring of their own Self-Abuse and the confirmation of their already Knowing how to escape into Self-Support.  It sounds Abusive to a third party, but if it’s an accurate Mirror for their own pain, it’s Comfort, not Abuse.

If your South Node is in early Libra, it was profoundly affected by the recent and ongoing dance there between Makemake, Juno, Lilith, and the North Node.  Your Nodes will Return to their original position every 19 or so years, and reverse their position halfway between.  With the North Node currently backing into Virgo (implying breakdown of the old Ego in preparation for Rebirth into Courage), it will have recently backed over your own South Node.  What was that like?  Your Soul’s Path in the Present Moment (North Node in the Sky) will appear to be the opposite of your Soul’s Path in the Lifetime (the South Node in your natal chart).  If you weren’t Conscious of this reversal, it could have been terribly Confusing.  If you were Conscious of the reversal, it would have been terribly instructive.  It could still be very instructive, in review.  If it was Confusing, fabulous; Sit Lovingly with your memories of that Confusion, it was the first stage of Growth.

Finally, it’s a T-Square, so there’s a potent Vacancy lurking Opposite your Uranus.  You have to Consciously supply the Energy of the Vacancy to complete the Grand Cross and bring the T-Square into Balance.  Add the Degree position of one of your Nodes to the Degree position of your Uranus, then divide by two.  Round up to the nearest full Degree (unless it’s x:00, in which case use Degree “x”) and look up the Sabian Symbol of that Degree.  That’s how you Consciously contribute to your own Progress in the Lifetime.  I think you’ll Enjoy that part.  Most of the rest of our natal chart has a Life of its own, whether we’re Witnessing it or not.  Our Vacancies are our opportunities to get involved with a lot of leverage.