Karma Station II

Well, as we said (more or less) at the end of the previous post, at the Karma Station, Rebirth (Haumea) was flying high and pointing Heavenward at the top of a Kite while Challenged (T-Squared) by the Dilemma (Opposition) of How Much Truth (Aletheia) can we stand to Integrate into our New Beginning (Klotho), while Grounded (the tail of the Kite) by Revelation of our Soul’s Purpose (Eris-Uranus).  Resolution of the Challenge is much aided (Diamond Star) by Cooperation (Sextile) between Fear (Sedna) and Self-Love (Sappho).

In the chart Haumea doesn’t look like it’s soaring much; it’s in the lower left.  The orientation of the chart is determined by the time zone and time of day.  On the Left Coast of North America, Haumea was overhead at 11:30pm PDT on 7 April, while the chart is for the moment of Karma’s Station at 6pm.  We focus on Energy, as embodied by the Angles and Configurations.  In this regard, Energy is Exalting Haumea, no matter where She is in the circle.

That’s an interesting concept, Fear Cooperating with Self-Love to midwife a Rebirth of our Soul’s Purpose into the Ego.  In fact, Fear Cooperating with Self-Love by itself is an interesting concept.  Remember though that it’s not any part of the Cosmos that’s Negative or Positive, it’s our Perception that can make that part seem one or the other.  And of course the Dualistic mind dearly Loves to Separate, Evaluate, and Pronounce, whereas in Real Life it’s just It Is As It Is, the Judgments are our own, almost always having to do with our Held Emotions.  We’ve been Learning lately how Fear is just Power, and a lot of it – as our Kegels have been demonstrating, eh? 

Let’s look at that Grounding Chord, Uranus-Eris.  This is a new Cycle that lasts almost a century.  The Initiation was 8 June 2016 (around 10pm PDT) at 24 Aries, “Blown inward by the wind, the curtains of an open window take the shape of a cornucopia: Openness to the influx of spiritual energies.”  With less than five Degrees of Separation, this Cycle is just beginning to burrow Underground.  It won’t emerge into mainstream Culture until 2039 (the Waxing Square), another two decades.

This illustrates one of the most important elements of Self-Sovereignty.  If we’re mirroring our Culture or copying our betters instead of following our Heart, we’ll be deep in Denial about the ongoing Influx of Spiritual Energies.  Like the sign on the wall where I used to work, “If you’re not part of the Solution, you’re part of the Problem.”  This first quarter of a Cycle is where Foundations are built – by those who Respect the Energy whether Weasel News promotes it or not. 

Which takes us back to the first chart in the previous post, the 15-19 Degree chart.  The Initiation of the Moon by Lilith occurred two hours after the Karma Station, only a Degree and a half from being exactly one Sign away.  Moon Cycles only last a month, but they’re very much In-Your-Face, as any woman can aver.  The Cycle was born at 17 Capricorn, “A repressed woman finds a psychological release in nudism: The escape from bondage to social inhibitions and a reliance upon the wisdom of the body.”  This symbol is about the Degree, not the Moon or Lilith – the reiteration of theme is as serendipitous as it is remarkable.

This foretells a major Letting Go of Unconscious Codependent Patterns over the next month, perhaps at the price of having to confront Held Emotions.  Held, or Forbidden, Emotions are those which guard the sanctity of our Karma.  They’re almost always Unconscious, since unless we’re one of those people who’s fond of saying “I’m not one of those people who…” then we repeat those Patterns without even noticing that we’re doing it; it’s just the Way the World Is to us.

The Angle between Karma and the Initiation, an Unx (one Sign – “Unx” means one twelfth), tells us that we’re peering into the doorway to the Unconscious.  As such, our most Powerful tool is probably PIAVA (Prayer, Intention, Asking, Vizualising, Affirming, plus several extensions – see https://astrobuss.wordpress.com/category/manifestation/piava-review/).  When we’re dealing with the Unconscious, Dynamic or Masculine methods of Creativity just create the sort of messes Shakespeare and Homer loved to write about.  We need Magnetic or Feminine methods.

The Unconscious is in many many ways a Wild Animal, and we don’t tame a Wild Animal with a leghold trap.  We patiently Offer Her Food at a neutral location, and sit patiently quite a distance away, with our gaze perpendicular to the Critter, keeping our Expectations low.   Every several days we try moving a half-inch closer, while watching out of our corner-eye to see if our Intended is nervous.  If She is, we back off a little the next day. 

She knows we’re there, and our presence is a counterpoint to our Gift, a condition so to speak.  She knows that this is a Negotiation, and that She has the upper hand.  She makes these kinds of Negotiations every day, for Survival, with other Critters big and small, and She’s an Expert at the Art of the Deal.  So we follow the PIAVA recipe – Ask (Offer), Change the Subject (at least pretend to look the other way), and Pay Attention (did She accept my moving closer?).  Maybe something like…

“I Wonder What I might do to Prepare myself for meeting my Karma head-on.”

Or, using the more audacious Command version (https://astrobuss.wordpress.com/category/manifestation/piava/theta/) because it has the advantage of instant feedback, so we can work in many iterations in a short amount of time…

“God/Goddess, Creator of All That Is, I Command that I meet my Held Emotions Bravely, Lovingly, and Gently.  It Is Done, It is Done, It is Done.  Thank you, God/Goddess.  …(deep Breath)…  Show me.”

The other end of the Opposition to the Stationary asteroid Karma is Asbolus – the sort of Intuition that leads us to Experiences which Create Wisdom.  That’s actually Perfect for dealing with Held Emotions, but remember that our Karma does not Grasp us, we Grasp it.  And, being Conscious, we have Choice.  So we can Choose to Encounter Wisdom Bravely, Lovingly, and Gently, even if – or especially if – we don’t know yet what it is we’re about to Encounter.

Using Theta Commands will give us clues so we can be better Prepared, though when we’re dealing with the Unconscious we always need to Expect Surprises.  Having our Surprises served with sides of Love and Gentleness, and Bravery, will be a boon.  When Theta gives us clues that trigger Emotion (as is likely in this case), don’t forget Tapping and Kegels, and of course Breathing. 

The Sabian Symbol suggests that Shame may be involved, as that’s a frequent Reaction to Nudity.  Shame is one of the most Difficult Emotions, if not the most Difficult Emotion, to stay Present for.  It’s highly skilled at totally overwhelming the Present Moment and the Ego.  We can be Hypnotized just by hearing the name that our Shamers called us.  It would probably behoove to Meditate on every recollection we have of Shame, and maybe include…

“God/Goddess, Creator of All That Is, I Command that I Bravely, Lovingly, and Gently stay Present, Grounded, and Strong when Shame threatens to Arise, and even more so when it actually does Arise.  It Is Done, It is Done, It is Done.  Thank you, God/Goddess.  …(deep Breath)…  Show me.”

Practice it, so you Recognize it instantly and Respond Lovingly to your Self and to the Stress in your Body.  It’s your Karma, it’s not something you haven’t Experienced before.  And you know in advance, if you remember, that this is a Flushback, not a re-enactment.  Karma is a movie.  You’re either in the audience, or sucked into the screen.  Let the Emotions wash over you, but stay in the audience this time, K?  The more you Practice, the Easier it gets.

Blessing Full Moon Eclipse II

Let’s start with a message from Nicole of Cauldrons and Cupcakes fame, a message which I couldn’t have said better myself, a message from… https://cauldronsandcupcakes.com/2017/02/09/a-short-but-important-message-for-you/ …

“Every morning when I wake up I sit in meditation.  

“I say prayers for my family and friends, I send healing to those who need it, I send energy and love to my students, and then to the world.  

“After which I always think about you, dear readers, and I ask ‘What do my readers most need to know today?’  This usually helps me to write a blog post, or to prepare an activity or meditation. 

“Today when I asked, I got a very clear message.  So clear that all I need do is record it here:

“ ‘Everyone on earth should believe that they have something to give the world which cannot otherwise be given.‘

“I know that this is true.  

“And I know that it’s a message some of you absolutely needed to be reminded of today.  

“So, go be you.  Go be who you are and know that this is enough.  To live as yourself.  To act and think as yourself.  To interact with others as yourself.  To love as yourself.  Your true self.  Your whole self.  

“Even if you have never been brave enough to be you until now.  

“Because it’s time.

“I love you.  Go well today,

“Nicole ♥ xx”

Wouldn’t hurt at all to repeat that, in Big letters…

“Everyone on earth should believe that they have something to give the world which cannot otherwise be given.“

You have a Huge Gift for the World which No One Else can Give, and your Gift is a critical piece of the Puzzle.  Don’t hold it back!  The rest of us need it!

“So, go be you.  Go be who you are and know that this is enough.  To live as yourself.  To act and think as yourself.  To interact with others as yourself.  To love as yourself.  Your true self.  Your whole self.  Even if you have never been brave enough to be you until now.  Because it’s time.”

Scary, I know!  But try this – every day say one thing to one person, which you otherwise would never have said, but which you Want to say.  Let yourself step over the “Nice” line a little every few days.  “Nice” is too often a filter that eliminates Truth and Clarity and even Intuition, and if you Want to say it, then they Need the information.  If more Anger slips out than you’re Comfortable with, just Apologize and “own” it – “Oh my gosh, I didn’t mean it that way, I’ve been Grumpy all day – the traffic was horrible this morning!”

You “own” it by Admitting to your own Feelings – the Grumpy part – it doesn’t matter what you make up to “justify” your Grumpies.  You’re under no obligation not to Lie when it’s convenient – the Inhibition on Lying that you Learned as a Child was a Power-Over Manipulation to Control your Creativity so you’d Conform to their Norms.  It was “for your own good,” of course, and sometimes it actually was, so No Blame.  But it’s time to Unlearn that Lesson.

Take a few minutes every Nice-Transcending day to gaze at this stone…

http://www.jbuss.com/jbl4h/mntao9.htm

It’s a double crystal of Manganotantalite, a crystal that helps run your cellphone.  One of its esoteric properties is that it allows you to speak in ways that communicate your True Compassionate meaning to others.  It always surprises me when I use it, as I say things that I had no idea I was going to say, but which are True and Supportive.

Here’s Daniel Scranton and the Arcturians version of this message, from http://danielscranton.com/let-source-energy-flow-∞the-9th-dimensional-arcturian-council/ , a few days ago…

“Greetings. We are the Arcturian Council.  We are pleased to connect with all of you.

“It is time for all of you to recognize how significant you are.  It is time for you to realize that what you are is more important than what you do.  It is more important than what you say, more important than what you write, and certainly more important than what you believe.

“You are powerful beings who have massive amounts of untapped creative potential.  If you could work together, join forces with your fellow humans and direct your energies on something that would be beneficial to all, you would demonstrate to yourselves how powerful you are.

“However, each individual must first recognize that you are able to access more Source Energy through yourselves than you have ever dreamed possible.  When you are capable of bringing Source Energy through your unique perspective, you are able to add so much to this world of yours, and to the entire universe.  This is truly where your significance lies.

“You change the world by bringing through more of that high frequency Source Energy.  Now often you seek a mission, a purpose, or some goal to achieve that will summon forth the Source Energy that we are talking about, the Source Energy that is so powerful when grounded into the physical reality.  But just by living your lives, just by having your relationships with each other, and by at times just struggling to get by, you are doing all of the summoning that is necessary.

“You see, it doesn’t matter why you are summoning forth more of that energy.  It only matters that you allow it to flow through you, and then we encourage you to recognize how your uniqueness puts a particular flavor on the energy that you bring through.  It is a flavor that only you can add to the Source Energy that you ground into the physical.

“It is your uniqueness, combined with your ability to access Source Energy and allow it to flow, that makes you so important.  There is not one of you who is more important than any other.  You are all equal in your diversity.  You are all fully capable of bringing through more energy and putting your stamp on it.

“If you were to just take five minutes of your time every day to seek out a place within yourself where you can access more of that Source Energy and allow it to flow, think of the impact you would have.  Imagine how powerful you could be and feel if you could radiate that Source Energy out, even for just five minutes of your time.  And as you demonstrate to yourselves just how good that feels, you will want to do it for longer.  You will want to feel the flow of Source moving through you, and everyone and everything will benefit without you having to lift a finger.

“We are the Arcturian Council, and we have enjoyed connecting with you.”

All of which is precisely what we’ve been trying to say these last several months, about the Golden Rectangle in the Sky between…

• Saturn-Ixion (The Most Important Thing is to Recover your Hidden Genius – but No Pressure, your Hidden Genius is YOU without any Editing – you just need to set good Boundaries against your Internalized Editors.  Asking “Who’s voice is that?” might help)
• Chaos-Atropos (the End of our Self-Limitations – the only Pressure here is to Pursue those whisper-quiet messages about how You Can or Can’t Do That, it’ll help you get to know your Inner Editors)
• Uranus-Eris (We can no longer Deny who we Really Are, on the Soul Level – and again, No Pressure!  This isn’t about Trying to Be Someone, it’s about Stop Trying to be Someone Who You Aren’t)
• Jupiter-Haumea (Expanding into our Rebirth – and again No Pressure, it’s about Allowing, not Doing)

Then we add the Full Moon Eclipse, right at the Midpoint of the long sides of the Golden Rectangle, filling up the Grand Sextile!  And it’s in Leo, the Sign of I Gotta Be Me!  center-stage Energy.  You’ve probably all been to Concerts or other performances, where you’ve left Feeling Exhilarated and Inspired, and other Concerts where you were left Feeling Drained or Exhausted.  That’s the difference between Positive Leo Energy and Negative Leo Energy.

Do you have an a priori sense of Leo Energy in general, whether it’s Positive or Negative?  Some of us were Trained to never “blow our own horn” – that’s one of our Limits that are up to be Transcended.  If we React Negatively to the idea of “blowing our own horn,” we may want to PIAVA that we amply Demonstrate our Unique Skills, so we don’t have to talk about them.  Our Unique Genius is too subtle for words anyway.  We can get closer to Contagiously Inspiring Leo Energy by Intending it.

We aren’t done with this Full Moon yet – there’s still more to follow.

Chaos 1

In our earlier post Rebirth of Genius, we talked about the Golden Rectangle that continues to Bless us.  A Golden Rectangle is very much Beneficent, though of course it includes a few Challenges – whenever we’re Graced with a Big Blessing, we face the Challenge of facing down our Resistance to Change and to the resulting Ego Death.  The Rectangle is Golden because it is structured using the Golden Angle that organizes Nature.

The four corners of the Golden Rectangle are

• Dwarf planet Chaos – Unlimited Potential (with asteroid Veritas – Truth)
• Ixion-Pholus – Being Fully Responsible to our Abandoned Genius (with Quaoar – Survival – nearby)
• Sappho-Haumea – Rebirth into Self-Love
• Uranus-Eris – Identifying with the Truth of the Soul Self (with asteroid Mnemosyne – Memory, and Ceres – Sustainability)
  

We’ve been working on our Yintegrity (Trusting our Intuition and Instincts) prominently for four years now, and in the background for the fifty years before that.  Doesn’t matter if you aren’t that old – we’re all working to Grow the Consciousness of the Species, so you were born into the process.  We’re now having a Big Rebirth of major portions of our Soul Self.

We’ve also been working for several years on our Unity with All Things, and the Mulifariousness that invariable accompanies it, as a herd of Centaurs and dwarf planets has migrated across the Galactic Center over the last several years.  Most prominently, Pholus, symbolizing Full Responsibility, remains, along with Ixion, which symbolizes Rejected Genius.

So we interpret the Golden Rectangle as bringing our Rejected Genius, the Star of our Soul Self, into our Heart where it can be Acknowledged, Embraced, and Expressed.  Lots of cosmic folks are Lighting Up the Golden Rectangle over the next several days as we approach the Full Moon.  We’ll talk about those soon, but first let’s let Michael Roads and Lilou Mace introduce the process…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5DZRyv3rllk

Insight Forest II

We’ll pick up where we left off at the end of Insight Forest I…

(4) What happens when our Unconscious Limiting Beliefs get blown away, and how can we prepare for that?  

Rhetoric is the Language style we use when we assume that whomever we’re talking to has the same Unconscious Beliefs as we do.  I use it a lot, so does Trump.  It’s the Language we use when we’re talking to our Tribe, and it saves us a lot of words.  One of its effect is to make someone from a rival Tribe either Angry or Intimidated.  Since Anger is a Sin in polite society, that ends up being the same as Intimidated.  Problem is, part of the Essence of our Changes is the Insight that we’re All One Tribe.

While some of us may be somewhat Conscious of the basis for our Rhetoric, much of it based on our Unconscious Beliefs, and the Unconscious Belief that someone with different Unconscious Beliefs is Corrupt, Ignorant, Degenerate, Deplorable, or all of the above.  Even if they are all that, our Attitude toward them would be different if they were part of our own Tribe.  We would probably be inspired to educate them – which of course would be received as insulting and condescending, just as we’re insulted when they try to “educate” or brainwash us.

So one of the impacts of Changes in our Unconscious Beliefs, is that we may begin to doubt our own Rhetoric, which could be a serious blow to our Identity.  Most of us to one degree or another Ego-Identify with our Tribe.  We could also just find ourselves more Disturbed than usual by Rhetoric, ours or theirs.  Eventually we’ll have to work out ways to tolerate different Unconscious Beliefs, and communicate Honestly with folks whose Unconscious Beliefs are all screwed up.

At the very least we could Learn to become Conscious of how the Lizards (Rhetoric Alert) use Rhetoric to Manipulate us.  If you have the misfortune of watching the US Unpresidential Debates on 26 September, you’ll get a good Teaching on Rhetoric, and how your Attitude towards it is Changing.  Basically, any Insecurity you Feel could well be linked to Changes in your Unconscious Beliefs and your Unconscious Identity.  Any Discomfort you encounter, it would behoove to Wonder if it might be related to Changes in your Unconscious Beliefs.  You might discover a gap between yourself and old friends or family.

There are three major corollaries to the Collapse of our Unconscious Beliefs, and to our resulting Insecurity.  The first is the impending collapse of our Cultures and Economies (the Waning Saturn-Neptune Square).  The second is the need to Review Who We Believe We Are and Why We Do What We Do, and whether the latter serves the former (Saturn Square to the Nodes).  The third is the Potential or Actual Disruption in our Lives resulting from the Loss of our Masks (Haumea Opposite Uranus-Eris).  Are we indulging Business As Usual and pretending that these Changes may not impact us, or waiting till the last minute to prepare for them?

In the US, September is “Emergency Preparedness Month.”  Are we prepared to see our Cultural, Egoic, and Habitual Foundations disrupted, without resorting to gang violence?

Soul Truth

A quick note before we get into the details about Pluto’s (Direct) Station, which occurs at 8am PDT on 26 September…

At 5am PDT on 25 September, after crossing dwarf planet Eris (Revealing Denial) in mid-June, Uranus (our Individual Soul) has come back to cross Eris for the second time.  In a typical second crossing, whatever difficulties we encountered at the initial crossing, are explicated for us.  

We refer to the first event in a series as the “Can-Opener,” because we’re often caught off guard when it often opens up a “Can of Worms” that we weren’t expecting.  We call the second event an “Exposition” because if we’re Listening, it Reveals to us what it is that the Can-Opener was trying to Teach us.  If we aren’t Listening, it feels like the Worms have turned into Snakes.  Of course, everyone who’s been reading this blog all along was well prepared, right?  So now we’re Learning more about Who We Really Are, as opposed to Who We’ve Been Pretending to Be.  We may have realized in June which parts of our Persona were Masks, but now we’re taking them off.

As an example, what if in mid-June we discovered that we were really in the wrong profession, but we were shocked by the discovery, so we scrambled to cover our tracks, and succeeded in pretending we were happy and competent.  Well, now, especially in the last week, we’re likely to be getting our ingenuousness rubbed in our face.  On the other hand, if in June we started planning an orderly transition, then last week was more likely a major milestone in our shift.

Or maybe in June our Deep Self felt seriously betrayed by our Pleaser, but we didn’t make any meaningful Changes because we didn’t want to rock the boat.  Then now we’re probably looking at another slightly different situation where by Pleasing other People we Abandon ourself, but this time maybe we can start to see how we can be more Genuine without burning any bridges.  Or we Realize that we’re still trying to Please our childhood Significant Adults, and that our Present Moment situation is in fact entirely different, we just weren’t seeing that because in June we were Regressed.

This whole adventure is much deepened by a couple of other astroevents that we’ll discuss more when we talk about the Pluto Station…

At noon on 26 September Saturn Squares the Nodes.  Even without Orcus (Oath-Breaking) on the North Node and Neptune on the South Node, this would bring several to many Lifetimes’ worth of Complications to the whole Authenticity issue.   Plus, at around 7pm PDT on 26 September, the Moon (which itself means Athenticity) crosses the asteroid Karma.  And, in a few weeks asteroid Veritas (Truth) will be Initiated by dwarf planet Chaos (No Limits), and they’re already well within two Degrees of Sensitivity.  

And the Rebirth (Haumea) of our Authenticity will be Creating big shifts in our Unconscious Beliefs (Vesta), as Vesta T-Squares Haumea and Uranus-Eris.  Besides all that, Ixion-Pholus (Becoming Fully Responsible to Express our Hidden Genius) and Veritas-Chaos Bridge the Haumea-Uranus/Eris Opposition in a Golden Rectangle.  And the two T-Squares (Saturn to the Nodes and Vesta to Haumea-Uranus/Eris) make Mjolnirs with one another, promising lots of Epiphanies about the Relationships between our Karmic History and our Authenticity and lack thereof.  

But we’ll get to all this when we talk about Pluto.  Pluto, remember, means it’s Happening, whether we like it or not, and whether we’re Conscious of it or not.  We can steer, but we have no brakes.  If we’re Conscious of what’s going on, we can steer into it, they way we would, hopefully, if we were starting to slide on an icy Mountain pass.  Don’t waste any Energy on Resistance here – it’s futile.   

Uranus-Eris II

The second layer of the Eris-Uranus Initiation chart is very much simpler, though not at all trivial.  Remember, this Initiation is a birth chart for the next 90 years; the next Eris-Uranus Cycle doesn’t begin till early in the 22nd Century.  The Energy we describe in this Uranus-Neptune series of posts will be a major component of the relationship between our Consciousness and the Unconscious during most of the next Century – for Individuals, for Cultures, and for the Planet.

In this second layer of this birth chart, The Most Important Things are… 

1. To get in the Habit of becoming Aware of the Patterns and Archetypes that Constrain us, moment to moment – what a “coincidence,” with Eris-Uranus Asking us to do basically the same; Trust your Intuition on this
2. To Embrace Confusion as the first stage of Growth, and as an Opportunity to move our source of Security from mindstuff to Spirit – imagine if we responded this way to dementia (which is nothing but Dimensia anyway, a sacred return to Beginners Mind)
3. To remember to shift our Focus from hassle to Respect for All Things whenever a Conflict or Difficulty arises, particularly to shift our Emotional Focus
4. Whenever you’re thinking about Expanding, add ten percent; whenever you’re thinking about Shrinking, consider what might happen if you Expanded instead, and Expanded a bit more than you usually would

The Astrology

The chart or layer we dissected in yesterday’s post, Uranus-Eris I, spanned 22-28 Degrees – so it will light up your natal planets in those Degrees more than it will trigger the Average Bear.  In it the Grand Trine was in Fire, and the T-Square in Fixed Signs.

This second chart covers 11-16 Degrees.  It’s a Mutable Grand Cross (Hassles, but not debilitating, more about Training for Hypercompetence), with only one Bridge (an Easier Path).  Saturn (The Most Important Thing) sits on one corner of the Grand Cross.

(1)  Opposing Saturn is Vesta (Unconscious Beliefs), which is Conjunct the Centaur and dwarf planet Asbolus (Intuition).

(2)  Neptune (Material Confusion, Spiritual Clarity) is on one end of the other axis of the Grand Cross, near (five degrees, close enough to impact the Century if not the week) the South Node (our Accumulated Patterns, Hidden Skills, and Held or Resisted Emotions).

(3)  The Bridge (an easier Shortcut) Trines (Dumb-luck Grace) Saturn and Quincunxes (Curiosity) Neptune.  It’s formed by the Moon (Instinct) and the asteroid Hopi (Respect for All Things).

(4)  Jupiter (Expansion) and the North Node (our sense of Mission and Deepest Desires) Opposes Neptune.

Eris-Uranus New Moon

Bottom Line

The 4 June New Moon is a major trigger for the 9 June Eris-Uranus Initiation, which is about Getting Honest with Ourselves around our formerly-Unconscious Limiting Beliefs.  We’ve also referred to them as Masks and Archetypes, and Despair.  This is really about Rebirth.  Unfortunately it may not be the most Effortless Birth, as our favorite Pattern is to cling to our Olde Ego while the New Ego is trying to get born.  That’s very painful.

We have to Let Go and Let God/Goddess.  Trust the process.  Whenever the going gets tough, recognize that you’re in Resistance to the Change.  It may not at all be obvious what else you can do besides Resist – Resistance is your Olde Ego trying to Survive, and that’s exactly what Egos do for a living, they’re good at it, and that’s why you hire them, because when they Survive, you Survive.  Except during the occasional Rebirths; we have to endure an Ego Death to allow a Rebirth.  

Your New Ego isn’t formed yet, and while we may have an inkling where to find its chrysalis, we won’t know what it Feels like.  So we’re stuck with PIAVAs (“God/Goddess, please give me a clue what to do besides Resist” or “I Wonder what it will Feel like when I finish wriggling out of this old carapace that’s so tight I can’t Breathe”) and Tapping (“Even though I feel worthless and hopeless, I deeply and completely Love and Accept Myself”) and Empathizing (“You poor Sweetheart, you really feel like you’re being tortured, don’t you”) and the like.

Once you succeed in Letting Go, you’ll be surprised at how quickly it gets Easy.

 

Details

1.  There’s a big Challenge to Embrace our Despair.  Remember that “Unconscious Despair” is failure to Believe that what you Need is even Possible.  Set aside your YesButs for a moment and Imagine that you could have what you Need or Want.  Now go back to your YesButs and convert each one to a YesAnd.  “YesBut you just aren’t Sexy enough to get that” might become “YesAnd I just Need one Lover.”  “YesBut you’ll never be able to earn enough Money for that” may be “YesAnd What If someone gave it to me as a Gift!”

You want to Touch that Feeling that you would have if your Dream came true, and hold it as long as you can, till it becomes a when rather than an if,  If you can hold that Feeling enough, it won’t matter whether your Dream actually Manifests, because you’ll already have what your Dream would have given you – Peace, Joy, Excitement, Self-Respect, Power, Grace.  What’s a Lover or a Red Convertible compared to that!  And if you had those Feelings most of the time, you could probably score Lovers and Convertibles pretty easy, if you still wanted to.

This is the difference between your Deepest Desires and your Mission in the Lifetime.  What you Desire isn’t actually the Object of your Dreams, it only seems that way because you live in a Material World.  What you actually Crave, what you came her to achieve, is How the Object of your Dreams Makes you Feel.  From that Feeling you can have anything you Ask for.  And guess what!  You’ll be Asking for different things, and they won’t have any YesButs.  It’s a Hologram, y’know, and you’re the projector.

2.  While this is a big Challenge, it doesn’t come without tools that can actually make it pretty Easy.  However, to manifest the Ease, we have to realize that Rebirth is the Ego’s Least Favorite party game, and Love our Olde Ego into oblivion.  Try Gratitude that It’s gotten you this far.  Try just really really appreciating how incredibly Comfortable your Olde Ego Feels, and PIAVA that your New Ego is going to Feel even more Comfortable once you’ve moved through the Grief of Giving Up your Olde Friend who’s kept you Safe.

3.  What will make your Rebirth Easier?  Getting Honest about what you’ve been trying to hide from yourself.  You may not know the details, but you know the general theme.  Abuse?  You don’t need to remember who or when, you just need to Trust your Feelings about it.  Fear?  Anger?  Embrace them.  Locate them in your Body, and move all of your Attention into the center of that place, and hold it there.  Bring it back when it wanders.  Stay with it till it dissolves or moves.  If it moves, follow it.

Eventually you’ll need to Surrender all Blame.  Blame looks toward the Past to assign Cause, while Responsibility looks toward the Future to improve Outcomes.  Any time you catch yourself attributing some Emotion or Sensation in your Body to any outside Cause, stop and bring your Attention back into your Body.  I’m always gnawing at myself because my neighbors have no idea what I’m trying to do in my Garden, and condemn it as a Jungle.

I need to catch myself thinking that, and bring my Attention back into my own Body.  Those Emotions and Sensations have their Roots in my Personal and Karmic Histories.  Those are my Emotions, the neighbors only trigger them.  I need to take up the Practice of locating them in my Body, and Loving them right where they are, exactly as they are.  If I Reject any Emotion, I dampen them all, and without any of them I’m not a Whole Person, I’m dis-eased.

Use this general model with everything that you suspect may be lurking in your Underwhere – Inadequacy, Self-Hate, Belief in Fate, Addiction, Guilt, Shame, any Limiting Belief, and anything else that comes up.  When the Emotion begins to Overwhelm, Tap it Out.

4.  The whole chart actually falls into a pool of Enormous Grace, but there’s a leak in the pool.  To plug it, we need to recognize the Challenges we’ve Lived through, Honor ourself for Living through them, and be Willing to talk about them so others can Learn from our travails.

 

The Astrology

1.  Aside from the Eris-Uranus Initiation itself of course, the primary focus of the chart is a Chiron T-Square (Challenge to Convert Despair to Miracles) across and Opposition between an Ixion-Pholus Conjunction (Taking Full Responsibility to Let our Orphaned Genius out of the closet) and a Karma-Chaos Conjunction (But without my old Patterns it all looks Chaotic! or Karma is Dead; Long Live Karma!).
2. This T-Square (Mastery through Challenge) is actually a Diamond Star (Making what would be difficult, Easy), with Sappho (Self-Love) and a Haumea-Nemesis Conjunction (either Feeling like you had this coming, or Recognizing that Rebirth feels like Death because they’re just different sides of the same Coin) on the feet of the Chiron Yod.
3. The Eris-Uranus Initiation (Revelation of Denial) is at the focus of a Quintile Yod (huge Learning Opportunity).  However, the Haumea-Nemesis Conjunction Opposes the Eris-Uranus Initiation, converting the QYod into a Quintile Kite and shifting some of the emphasis onto Haumea-Nemesis.  A Yod pointing to a Sedna-Atropos Conjunction (The Demise of Fear, foreshadowed of course by the Fear of Demise) from the base of the Sextile from Haumea-Nemesis to Ixion-Pholus.
4. Eris-Uranus, Karma-Chaos, Sappho, Haumea-Nemesis, and Ixion-Pholus form five points of a Grand Sextile (Enormous Grace, though we need to take the first step).  The Vacancy is 24 Aquarius, “A person, having overcome their compulsions, shares the deep wisdom that results from their experience: The constructive use to which difficult past experiences can be put as examples for those who are still striving to overcome their compulsions,” aka Archetypes/Masks/Karma.

This Week (8-14 May)

On Monday 9 May (5am PDT) Jupiter turned Direct and started its final ascent into its 23-June Initiation of the North Node, which signifies a big emphasis on our Mission in the Lifetime, and in the process on our Deepest Desires.  Our Mission is larger by many orders of magnitude than our Intellect can grasp, so our Deepest Desires represent a peepshow of our Mission, presented to our Ego in a form it can understand.  As Consciousness grows, our Deepest Desires metamorphose into our Mission.

The Jupiter-North Node Initiation is about A Volcanic Eruption, so on some levels it could be a bigger event than our 9-June Eris-Uranus Initiation.  Or at least, a more Conscious event.  Eris-Uranus will blow the gaskets off of the Masks that we use to pretend that we have socially redeeming value in spite of our Original Sins – which of course are nothing but programmed Self-Judgments.  If we have any Masks left after 2012-15.  At the very least we have to get Honest with ourself about our Deepest Desires and their addictive qualities, even if they’re not ready to dance on the World Stage.  You could call them our Hungry Ghosts.  Addiction can prevent metamorphosis.

We didn’t mention in our New Moon post that the New Moon forms a Major Tricolor with Stationary Jupiter/North Node and Saturn: Jupiter/NN-Square-Saturn-Quincunx-NewMoon-Trine-Jupiter/NN.  Which is to say that you can effectively address any Conflicts over how to Both Expand and Focus by Wondering what’s being Reborn here.

On 13 May we have an interesting Conjunction between two asteroids, Aletheia and Veritas – respectively Greek and Latin for Truth.  The Conjunction is Unx (one Sign) from the asteroid Mnemosyne – Memory.  The Unx is about

• Breaking Patterns,
• Letting Go of Karma,
• Changing Habits, and
• Untangling ourself from Archetypes.  

So this week is likely to have a lot of information for us about how our June will unfold.  

Watch your Thoughts and Emotions closely.  We all have Patterns of quickly shifting our Attention away from issues we don’t like to contemplate.  Many of these Patterns operate below the level of Consciousness, but even some of those may surface here.  If you catch yourself shifting your Attention away from your Fears, after you do your Cancel, Neutralize, Upgrade, stop and examine the Fear.  You may have access this week to its roots, and if you can pull out the roots, the weed can’t regrow, as of course it will if you just keep cutting it off at ground level.

Definitely Tap out the Fears you become Conscious of, but with a twist this week.  Instead of “Even though I’m afraid of that I deeply and completely Love and Accept Myself,” use “Even though I don’t know why I’m afraid of that I deeply and completely Love and Accept Myself.”  Put what you do know about the Fear in place of “that.”  Confusion is good, it’s the first stage of Growth.  Be Curious about it.

Jupiter will now cross for the third time the Pisces through Gemini Duads of Virgo – the last half of the Capricorn Decanate and the first half of the Taurus Decanate.  As Jupiter dismantles our Olde Ego (that’s what Virgo does for a Living), it goes through the process of

1. Looking to see what’s socially unacceptable (Libra),
2. Rooting out why we do that (Scorpio),
3. Letting Go of that (Sagittarius),
4. Replacing it with something more useful (Capricorn),
5. Testing it to see how it flies socially (Aquarius),
6. Rueing our Inadequacy (Pisces), 
7. Surrendering Control (Aries),
8. Observing what evolves (Taurus),
9. Adapting it to our Liking (Gemini),
10. Nurturing it (Cancer), and finally,
11. Wearing it as our New Ego (Leo).

We’re reviewing stages 6 through 9 here.  Be Gentle with yourself.

New Moon 6 May

Let’s do some interpretation first, then fill in the astrology later, with [cross-links].  Maybe that’ll make it easier for mobile users…

We get a bit of a breather here [3,11,12,17], relative to the last few months (and the next one) – with caveats.  Foremost, we need to stay focused on our Path – Who We Are and Who We Are Becoming [5].  And actually, it’s Who We Are Becoming that turns out to be most important [12-13,15-16].

The Most Important Thing this month [7] is to be Enthusiastically Loving and Gentle [6,8] with what we’re Birthing [1,9,11-13,15-17].  No need this month to focus on what we’re Denying or Giving Up [10], plenty of time for that next month.  It’s time to make Lemonade out of what we’ve been considering our worst faults [4,8,12]!

There is one downside [14] that could bite us in the butt, producing angry reactions from the internalized voices of the significant adults in our childhood.  However, the purpose of this Energy is Insight.  If you hear angry self-talk, ask yourself whose voice that is.  If it’s yours, ask how old you are.  If it’s not yours, ask yourself how you would react.  This could lead to Epiphanies.

Just how do we know Who We Are Becoming, if we’re still a Work in Progress (which we are)?  You may have a Clear Intuition about it.  If not, go with Who You Want to Become.  Who would you Enjoy Being?  This is a Virgin Birth, so there’s no need to impose any Limits on yourself.  Give your Imagination free rein.  As we Visualize and Feelize this, yes-buts will almost certainly arise.  Change them to yes-ands.

“Yes-but, you can’t afford that” might become “Yes-and, we don’t know yet where the means will come from, but it will” – the means to afford it may not be monetary.  Let new doors Open, and let details and mechanisms remain unknown.  We aren’t Planning here, we’re Brainstorming – “No” and “But” are absent from the vocabulary.  We’re midwifing a Mutant version of ourself this month.  Embrace it as you would a newborn infant.  No Judgment, just Love.

Here’s the astrology for the 6 May (half-past noon PDT) New Moon itself…

• The New Moon is in 17 Taurus, which is about getting Clear around what Walking in Beauty means to you (Scorpio Duad), particularly around the issue of Idealism versus Self-Trust (Swords versus Torches) [1]
• It will especially trigger your natal planets in 15-19 of Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, and Aquarius [2]
• It’s one corner of a Grand Trine (dumb-luck Grace) with the North Node and Pluto [3]
• Which means that the resulting Kite is focused on the South Node [4]
• The Nodal Axis is half of a Grand Cross, with Saturn and Chaos Squaring it [5]
• The New Moon is Squared by Sappho in Leo [6]
• Yielding a Sappho-Square-New Moon-Quincunx-Saturn-Trine-Sappho Major Tricolor [7]
• Sappho in turn sits at the apex of a Finger of God, built on a base of the Pluto-South Node Sextile [8]
• Finally, the New Moon is Trioctile to dwarf planet Makemake [9]

And we can’t ignore the impending Big Picture, the 9 June Eris-Uranus Initiation, so we need to look at how Uranus is positioned in the New Moon chart…

• Uranus is one and one-quarter Degree from its Initiation by Eris at the time of the New Moon; the prior Cycle began in April 1927 at 2 Aries, “A comedian reveals human nature” [10]
• Uranus is fourteen arcminutes from a Can-Opener Opposition to Haumea at the time of the New Moon; the Opposition is complete on 10 May; the Initiation for this Uranus-Haumea Cycle was late September 1962 at 3 Virgo, “Two Guardian Angels” [11]
• Uranus-Eris makes a Grand Trine with Ixion and Klotho [12]
• Which creates a Kite focused on Haumea [13]
• Mars Squares Orcus, forming the base of a Mjolnir focused on Uranus-Eris [14]
• Which creates a Mjolnir Kite focused on Haumea [15]
• Mercury-Vesta Sextiles Chiron, which serves as the base of a Finger of God focused on Haumea [16]
• Add Chaos to the Haumea Kite and we have five rays of a Grand Sextile; the Vacancy is at 23 Aquarius, “A pregnant woman in light summer dress” [17]

 

No Medical History

Okay, so “where does Eris seem to be leading me next?”  What Masks are being pulled upon for me?  

Well, about 45 years ago I realized that dentistry was a treadmill that required more effort than payoff, and about 35 years ago I discovered that mainstream medicine wasn’t worth the money either.  Originally, I just didn’t want to devote my Life to buying someone else a new Mercedes every few years, without getting much in return.  As the years have gone by, I’ve seen many more reasons to eschew for-profit medicine and its master Big Pharma, particularly where it does more harm than good in the name of quarterly profits, inflated Lifestyles, and vested interests.

So a week ago, I woke up with a swollen face and neck from an infected tooth.  I’ve been through several abscesses, Healing them with other means, but never anything like this.  Plus, it freaked out my wife.  So we went to her dentist.  Turns out that sort of swelling can close the windpipe without much notice, so I ended up spending the weekend in the hospital getting a course of IV antibiotics and steroids.  After a third of a century of abstinence, stepping into the dental, mainstream medicine, and pharmaceutical worlds in one leap was certainly a huge Ego Death.

But it didn’t feel like it.  There was no clinging, no hesitation, no doubt.  My traditional self-Healing methods weren’t working, it felt like something I couldn’t just tolerate or adapt to, and, just one “easy” step after another, here I was in the hospital sucking up the drugs that destroy the first third of one’s immune system.  Of course I was hyperalert for the many unnecessary doctor visits and irrelevant tests that you read about hospitals using to exploit the unwary, and ready to be defensive about my choices if they tried to “diagnose” me.  Diagnosis is a label with enormous baggage attached to it.

But it didn’t happen.  The tests and docs all seemed pretty central to the issue at hand, the people were very nice, mostly genuine, educated, caring, and sharp.  So there’s the first piece of Eris intel – that our Eridean edification may arrive through witnessing that our accustomed Judgments aren’t valid.  Our Judgments are certainly Limiting Beliefs.  And mainstream medicine is powerfully good at dealing with emergencies.

Turns out I’m healthier than I thought I was.  Doc after doc, nurse after nurse, most of them said something like “70-plus, no medical history, no medications, relatively good health – how do you do it?  I’m on four meds already in my 50s.”  By the third time, I realized it was a serious question, so I started answering.  I told them to look up Functional Medicine, whose creed is from Aristotle – “Let Food be thy Medicine, and Medicine be thy Food” – and of course why and how to avoid Glyphosate.   Many of them were already partway there in their personal Lives.  Functional Medicine is new, but I’ve been following its precepts pretty faithfully for 35 years.

There’s the second piece of Eris intel – that the World is educable.  I’m sure it will take a looong time before hospital “food” gets up to snuff – there was nothing on the menu that I could eat, even after they dismissed surgery and allowed that it was Safe for me to eat.  Even the Broth – they had no list of ingredients for it, it just “came in a pouch.”  So I got my first-ever two-day Fast, which was easy and felt good.  More potential Ego Bullets dodged.

Once I got out of the hospital I had to start thinking about having the tooth pulled, and a friend inadvertently reminded me that Mercury was about to go Retrograde.  I don’t usually worry much about Retrogrades, but then, I don’t sign a lot of contracts.  The timeliness of the reminder gave me pause.  I didn’t think it would be possible to get it out before Mercury went Retrograde; could I wait till after it turned Direct again?  I didn’t want to revisit it again and again.

Differences of opinion among the docs – some said no way to wait, some said finish the antibiotics first (I’m still on followup oral antibiotics).  The oral surgeon’s office said he was booked for the next three weeks – maybe waiting was my answer.  But the surgeon offered his consulting services two days after I got out of the hospital.  At the consultation he proposed pulling the tooth at 9:30am on 28 April.  Mercury turned Retro at 10:20am – problem solved.

And with it another piece of Eris intel – don’t waste your time trying to Do and Plan – go straight to PIAVA instead.  That one’s BIG.

Of course, now that I’ve had the offending tooth extracted and had to go two more days at home with only liquid Foods, I see that fasting isn’t as easy when you’re feeling better and surrounded by all of those tasty treats that dance and sing and wave their tentacles every time you walk by.  So now we’re getting in a little deeper with this fourth piece of Eris intel – I’m intellectually Conscious that I eat to dispel Anxiety, but I haven’t scratched the surface of the Emotional Discernment that will be necessary to Change that Pattern.

As I’ve said many times, the Noticing is the hardest part, the Acting differently will be a Challenge, but once the effort begins, the process is self-reinforcing.  So it’ll probably be easier than I imagine.  But this use of Food for Emotional Control, rather than Nutrition or Celebration, certainly qualifies as one of those things that “we will discover in the way of unknown Beliefs, or long-standing Limits that we’ve misinterpreted as Irritations or social norms, and which are likely to come into Focus as Self-Sabotage.”  And that we’ll be clinging to, in an addictive sense.

Multiple personalities – the folks who have cancer in one personality and not in another, for instance – is a heavier situation than most of us are in.  But we all have multiple subpersonalities that may relate to each other only in passing.  In some mind-spaces I have no difficulty at all passing up a candy bar – why would I want to do that to myself?  In other spaces, it’s Sure, I can do that!  In yet others it’s Whoa, have you tried that new Ocho Dark Coffee organic-chocolate organic-coffee bar?  It’s incredible!  

These three people kinda know each other, but not well.  It’s almost as if they’re independent of the overall director of the Vehicle.  They kind of take turns running the show, and when one is in charge, the others may be distant witnesses, but it almost seems like they don’t care.  Of course tooth pain calls forth sub #1 (why would I do that to myself?) fairly reliably, because the negative feedback is immediate.

The fifth potential Ego hit will be around how to pay the hospital bills when they arrive.  And I can see another, sixth piece of Eris intel – once I’m back on my feet, will I withstand the pressure to give in to the dental treadmill?  I’ve yet to see dentistry really working – they wail on your mouth and checkbook, and the only result is that they want to see you again in three months, or sooner.  Or will I submit eagerly, if I can scrounge up the money, because it might seem easier than self-Healing?

Time will tell about this one.  The Eris-Uranus Initiation is still a month off.  We don’t know what will Change, or how we’ll Change.