Charts of the Portals XV

In Charts of the Portals XII we were talking about the chart of the 28-29 September 2020 Saturn-Chaos Stations (The Most Important Thing Is to Look Beyond Your Perceived Limitations – If You Could Do Miracles, What Would They Be?) chart…

and its red-triangle Challenges (T-Squares), particularly the Saturn-Chariklo-Pluto Challenge (The Most Important Thing may be to Remember that any Sign of Self-Doubt will be a Red Alert that our Thoughts are leaning toward the Old Paradigm, just when we need to Remain Conscious that the Paradigm is Shifting and we need to Shift with it).

We were about to talk about the Complicated “base” of that Challenge, the Opposition between Mars-Lilith-Eris (Actively Rooting Out Places Where We Deny to Ourself that We Give Away Our Power) on one side and Sappho-Juno-Haumea (Rebirth into Greater Consciousness about the Unconditionality of Our Self-Love) on the other.  We were suggesting that this Opposition should provide Clues about Why It may be Difficult to Maintain Our Confidence that we can Respond Resiliently to the Big Changes that Are Going On.

It’s really Easy to dwell on the minor details of our Daily Lives and Miss the Big Picture, especially when we’re Enervated, as the Big Changes themselves are likely to do to us.  How many of us Understand after all what Kundalini Rising (Varuna-Karma in the Global Climate Change chart) is Supposed to Feel Like.  We’re Hypnotized by Big Pharma to reach for a Drug whenever we’re Uncomfortable, because they’ve made us Believe that Discomfort is to be Avoided at all costs.

If we looked to Cause rather than Symptom, we’d Know that we’re in the middle of a Huge Ego Death (which is why we sometimes feel like we’re “dying,” and occasionally wishing we were).  Rebirth – into Greater Consciousness about the Unconditionality of Our Self-Love – is the flip side of Ego Death.  Unconditional Self-Love includes always Loving whatever is Going On for us in the Present Moment.

Can we really Love Ourself Unconditionally while Aching All Over?  Well, that’s the Assignment.  Find the place in your Body where your Discomfort is Greatest, and just Focus your Attention on it Intensely.  Attention is kind of Love Step One.  Hold your Attention there.  Fear is Hard and Cold, Love is Soft and Warm.  Put your hand on your Discomfort and Warm it Up.  Imagine Softening around it.  When your Attention Wanders, bring it back.  When your Discomfort moves, which it will do, Follow it.  You’ll be Surprised by the Miracles you Create doing this.

Actively Rooting Out Places Where We Deny to Ourself that We Give Away Our Power isn’t much more Fun than Ego Death.  We have Ego Invested in those Places, often Deeply Invested.  Ego is very often Embedded more Deeply in our Body than our Teeth are, and you know how much Fun it is when someone Roots around Trying to Pull Out your Teeth.  If we Deny these Places to ourself, unless we’re Graced with Insight (which is entirely possible, given the astrology, but we’ll have to Recognize it), that means they’re Unconscious, so we’ll have to use PIAVAs to reach down into the basement and find them.

Since we’re working with Self-Love, you’ll want to add Lovingly and Gently to your PIAVAs.  For instance, a Theta might be something like…

“God/Goddess, Creator of All That Is, I Command that I Lovingly and Gently Begin to Recognize the Places Where I Give Away My Power, and that I Begin to Intuit How to Lovingly and Gently Claim My Power Instead.  It Is Done, It Is Done, It Is Done.  Thank You, God/Goddess.  Show Me!“

The Most Important Thing

If you can find and watch 24:30 through 35:00 of this video, you’ll be very Clear about The Most Important Thing…

If you don’t plan to spend much Future Time on this Planet, in your current Lifetime or others, then no worries.  If Life-Threatening Challenges are your Cuppa Tea, then no worries.  Otherwise, This is Big.  Compared to This, everything else is as Important as making mudpies.  So we highly recommend that you quit wasting Emotional and Physical Energy and Time fretting about the mudpies, and Commit yourself fully to The Most Important Thing.

Don’t worry about the details, just PIAVA to Lovingly and Gently come to Grok your Perfect Unique Role, in your own Time.  When you do find your Perfect Unique Role, it’ll be Great Fun, and not at all the Difficulty – or Impossibility – that you now imagine it to be.  It’s really true that If you aren’t part of the Solution you’re part of the Problem, so please, No Longer Lend Your Strength to That Which You Wish to Be Free From.

Of course your own The Most Important Thing must Arise from your own Heart, but we do need to warn that we’ll be Obsessing about our own personal The Most Important Thing till at least 9pm PDT on 10 May 2020 (when Saturn [The Most Important Thing] Stands Still in the Sky [Impacts us Strongly] at 2 Aquarius).  Oh, our Values will also be up for review till at least 11:45 pm 12 May (when Venus [Values] Stands Still in the Sky at 21 Gemini).  So lots of Self-Review.  Of course The Most Important Way to Approach The Most Important Thing is to monitor yourself to Avoid dwelling on WhatYouDon’tWant, so you can keep your Focus – which is what Creates your Future – on WhatYouDoWant.

Which, with everything (us included) Changing rapidly, means we can Expect to Experience Confusion fairly often.  Confusion isn’t my Favorite Emotion.  Which is why I’m working hard on Turning That Around, so Confusion becomes my Favorite Emotion.  Well, maybe my second-Favorite, after Ecstasy.  At any rate, Confusion is the first sign of Growth in Consciousness.  So it’s Precious.  Our Concept Set forms the skeleton for our Ego and rationalizes our Limiting Unconscious Beliefs (such as “Nothing I can do about that!“).  Positive Change is Available only when our Concept Set wavers and quivers – which means we Feel Confused.

 

Tweety is our Ego, the Cage is our Concept Set, and Sylvester is everything that’s Eliminated from our Life by our Unconscious Limiting Beliefs.  Notice how Tweety looks kind of Confused by what’s happening.

 

However, Growth in Consciousness only occurs when we don’t try to outsmart our Confusion.  (Tweety relies on her Instinctual Wisdom of Experience, not Mentality).  When we try to Figure Out what’s Confusing us and make it Go Away, we Lose our Opportunity for Growth.  Figuring It Out just regrouts the bricks in the walls of our Concept Set.  This is especially important here while the symbol for our Ego is still Merged with the symbol for our Confidence (Stationary Saturn [Ego] Conjunct dwarf planet Chariklo [Self-Confidence and Self-Doubt], which runs from December 2019 till January 2021).  I mean, what’s more Important to the Ego than Confidence?

We know Intuitively that nothing makes a Huper more Attractive to Other Hupers than Self-Confidence.  It makes Life so much easier when Others find us Attractive and want to curry our favor.  Confidence is far more Compelling than Competence – that’s how the Antichrist Bullied his way into Fame and Glory.  Self-Doubt is one of the biggest impediments to Abundance.  Unfortunately, many of us are Addicted to Self-Doubt.  We get there by failing to Embrace Ego Death.

The Antichrist gives us a Master Teaching at Avoiding Self-Doubt.  He just Reframes History, Effortlessly and Immediately.  We may not want to do it his way, but the Lesson is Valuable because it brings the Issue into the Light of Day.  The Issue is, Do we Create our own Reality or Not?  He’s obviously a Master at Creating a Surreality that fits him to a T.  History books are full of Masters at Creating their own Surrealities.  The Antichrist Demonstrates the process – just Create your own Surreality, and whenever it conflicts with Reality, quickly Adjust it.  His Goal is Adulation.  We could emulate his techniques for other Goals, such as Abundance (Having Enough to Share), a Livable Environment, a Collaborate Culture, Immunity to 5G and Granolaviruses, Ascension, or WhateverWeWant.

Doubt and Confusion are kissing cousins.  When we Fake our way out of Doubt we often get caught.  If we aren’t famous enough, that matters.  When we try to Fake our way out of Confusion by Figuring It Out, we also Create more Trouble for ourself.  Like any other Emotion, in order to Release it we need to Accept and Embrace it Exactly as it Is.  When we do that, we dispel it – we literally break the Spell that it has cast on us.

We get Unstuck by training ourself to Notice when we’re Feeling Confused, and then Consciously Celebrate it.  Getting Beyond our Limiting Unconscious Beliefs is necessary if we are pursuing Abundance, Ascension, Enlightenment, or virtually any other major Change in our Karma.  (Our Limiting Unconscious Beliefs, by the way, are symbolized by asteroid Vesta, and Vesta Conjoins Stationary Venus as we speak.  We talked about that a little in Values and Beliefs Full Moon.)  We should write about the Venus-Vesta Cycle, because…

The Dance between our Values, Beliefs, Desires, Emotions, and Thoughts – including what and how we Think about our Emotions – are very Important to our progress toward WhatWeWant.  Most of us are very Confused, without Realizing it, about the Difference between Our Emotions and Our Thoughts About Our Emotions.  Emotions happen in our Body.  The minute we move into our Head and begin Thinking About our Emotions, we’ve totally Abandoned both our Emotions and our Selves.  Yet we need to Align our Passion and our Thoughts in order to Manifest Cleanly.

Does any place in your Body hurt or Feel Uncomfortable right now?  Are you Able to Lovingly and Gently put your Total Attention into that place, and watch how it Changes?  How long can you do that without Thinking About how it Feels?  It’s fine to Think About how long we’re Holding our Attention there, as long as we’re Experiencing how it Feels, and not Labeling or Comparing (as Marshall Rosenberg liked to say, “Feels Like” expresses a Thought, not an Emotion) it, or Leaving the Present Moment.

Holding your Total and Unconditionally Loving and Gentle Attention on any Discomfort in your Body is one of the most Healing things you can do for it.  When you Notice that your Attention has Wandered, just quietly Bring It Back, without Judgment.  Notice if your Body has Created any Hardening around the Discomfort, as we often do in an effort to Separate Pain from our Identity.  If there is, Consciously Soften it.  That’ll Open the blood flow around the space, and accelerate the Body’s natural Healing.  That’s what Bodies do for a Living, if we let them.

Try doing the same with a Difficult Emotion.  Locate it in your Body, and give it Total Unconditionally Loving and Gentle Attention.  If you can do that without Labeling or Comparing it, or Leaving the Present Moment, you’ll find that the Discomfort dissolves the way it does when you Poor-Sweetheart yourself.  It’s quite Miraculous if you aren’t used to doing it.  When we Leave the Present Moment – “OMG, this reminds me of…” or “What will happen if…” – we’re Thinking About the Emotion, not Feeling it, Experiencing it, or Giving it our Attention.  We’re Abandoning the Emotion and our Self.

Not that it isn’t useful to Anal-yze how any Discomfort fits into your TimeLines.  For instance, Realizing that an Unpleasant Feeling is another Mirror for a Childhood Trauma, can in a few seconds help to Heal both the Discomfort and the PTSD.  And Realizing that some Discomfort that’s Arising is a clue about why we aren’t instantly Manifesting something we just PIAVAed, can in a few seconds help to melt our Resistance to that Manifestation.

Remember that if we aren’t ready to Manifest something that we’ve PIAVAed, the first thing the Universe will do is give us an Illustration of why we aren’t ready.

But we need to Learn to instantly Recognize the Difference between our Emotions and our Thoughts About them.  A Healthy Emotion Arises and then Dissipates, Informing us about something Important in the process.  If there’s no Dissipation, it’s because we’ve shifted from Feeling it to Thinking About it.  That can Freeze Emotions for years, Creating and Deepening Karma in the process.  When we get stuck on an Emotion it’s almost always already Karmic, and every time we Think About it instead of Feeling it, we cement the Karma in place more firmly.

Karmic Emotions are Held Emotions, the ones We’d rather Die than Feel.  So it’s a natural, Healthy Reaction to find any way we can to Avoid that, including shifting transparently from Feeling to Thinking.  If you’ve been reading this blog long, you know that “We’d rather Die than Feel that” is a misrepresentation.  It’s what we Experience, but it’s an Illusion.  It’s really “We’d rather Die than Feel that” – yes, We, our Ego, our current Identity, has to Die in order for us to Feel that.  That’s how Karma works.  The Ego’s job is to keep us Alive and Well, so this works well.

Except when we Want to Change or Manifest something that’s not already in our Karma, and then we need to Tolerate or even Court Ego Death in order to get beyond our Limiting Unconscious Beliefs.  In fact, Ego Death becomes The Most Important Thing.  It doesn’t even matter if the Planet has been Destroyed, because we in fact Create our own Reality, as a Mirror for our Internal Self-Love processes, so we’ll just Re-Create it in our Image.

We’ll talk more about these things, and how Confusion and Curiosity (the Quincunx and Finger of the Goddess) relate to one another, when we look at tomorrow’s Saturn Station chart in detail.

Yintegrity Rising

A reader writes…

“I don’t think they are happy with me.  I am not following their tradition and I’m not sure what the impact of that will be, but I don’t care!  I’m not doing what I should, I’m doing what I want.  And that is SO different for me.

“I’ve always been the analyze/plan/execute person.  I do my duty.  I fulfill my promises.  If I commit, I follow through.  Period.  No doubt.  No question.  I guess what you would call “Yangtegrity.”  And it has served me well.  Very well.  For my whole life.

“Over the past…18 months, two years, there’s been a growing resistance to all of it!  I don’t even want to show up half the time!  (I’ve always taught my kids-Showing up is 80% of success.)  My intellect is so confused, my ego is having panic attacks.  Is this moving into Yintegrity?  

“There’s a third part of me that is very calmly standing by, reassuring that we’ll work out a new way of functioning, everything will be fine, the earth will not stop spinning on its axis.  So is that the pressure and fear I’m feeling?  The shift into Yintegrity?”

You bet!!  

And like any Big Change, there’s a hollow space, a gap, where our Olde Ego is in Lackawanna (“I know I’m done for; why should I care?”), and our New Ego hasn’t got its training wheels on straight yet.  So we’re wobbly.  Confusion is good; it’s a reliable sign that we’re Growing.  Anxiety is common, as our Olde Patriarchy-Attuned Egos needed to know what was going on so they could figure out who to Please how, when.

Time for PIAVAs.  “Great Spirit, please help me Trust my True Future so I can Surrender my False Past more comfortably” or the like.  “I wonder where the Hell I’m going, anyway.”  With Saturn Waning Square to Neptune and moving into the Void Space between them, The Most Important Thing (Saturn) is Confusion (Neptune).  Neptune symbolizes Confusion when viewing the World through Material Eyes, and Clarity when we shift to Spiritual Eyes.  “Ganeshi, please Remove all Obstacles to Opening my Third Eye.”

 Another timely story…

https://alchemicalastrology.wordpress.com/2016/06/21/professionautism/

Love the title – ProfessionAutism.  I read it as Professionalism twice before I noticed the Aut.  In another post she says Pluto is on her Moon – I don’t know of any greater Emotional Challenge.  A perfect time to “hang loose,” but not even that is easy under Pluto-Moon.  “God/Goddess, Creator of All That Is, I Command that Ease and Grace fill my Life.  It Is Done, It Is Done, It Is Done.  Thank you, God/Goddess. … Show me.”

That’s a simplified form of Theta Healing.  Once you say “Show me,” look to see whether your Vision or other Intuitive Sense shows you bathed in Ease and Grace.  If not, look to see what else you need to Command.  Maybe Trust, or Enough to Eat, or just Breathing.

When the World, or your Community, or just your Household or Camp, operates through Yintegrity, the whole World is different.  People do things when they want to, and when someone resents something not being done, it’s up to them to recognize that it’s their job to do.  Or their job to inspire (not require or bully) someone else to do it, maybe as a group project where participation is of course optional – you would join or not because, in the moment, it’s more fun than doing otherwise.  

The Most Important Thing gets done, even if it’s not what you thought was The Most Important Thing.  Between the Waning Saturn Square to Neptune and the next Initiation, Cultures break down.  The next Neptune-Saturn Initiation isn’t until 2026, six years into the Digital Age.  It’s at the Aries Point – Manifestation into (Feminine) Form.  Aries Creates by Instinct, not by having a picture beforehand of the “finished” product.  Creating and “finishing” are two different Universes, with only accidental intersections.

Here’s a picture of it anyway – it’s not a “finished” picture, but a picture of the Yintegrity process unfolding…

https://cristenrodgers.net/2016/06/23/speak-your-truth-not-your-mind/

I would suggest though, that “The ways in which Other Living Things can speak may also be almost infinite – the truth or a lie, clearly or in riddles, with language or with art.”  We maybe just haven’t heard them yet, till we get our Third Eye – or Ear – Open.  And that Everything is Living.

And, Saturn runs a Gauntlet of Initiations before it gets back to Neptune – Ixion, Pholus, Quaoar, the Galactic Center, Chariklo, Hylonome, Pluto. OR10, and Nessus!  Saturn will be a very different Animal by then, and we will be too.  Sounds like this Gauntlet would be worth a post of its own, eh?

And we didn’t even notice that Saturn was Initiated by the Great Attractor this last February, with an Exposition in May!  The Great Attractor is Headquarters to the Galactic Center – Cosmic HQ.  No wonder it’s been a heavy year so far, as if we haven’t had enough excuses!  We’re being asked to align ourselves with an Energy more Powerful than even Galactic Energy.