Making Sense

When Energies hang on past their “scheduled Time,” as they appear to be doing now for at least some of us, it’s often because we haven’t Finished Processing the Energy that’s “sticky,” or because we haven’t Let it Go.  Of course we expect the Energy in New and Full Moons to linger past the event itself, so let’s dive a bit deeper into a few corners of the incredible 26 August Full Moon chart, drawn in https://astrobuss.wordpress.com/2018/08/22/a-potentially-rough-week/.

We already written a bit about the Waning Saturn-Chiron Square, at https://astrobuss.wordpress.com/2018/08/27/a-potentially-rough-week-iv/, averring that it was already a done deal Energywise.  But that doesn’t mean we finished with the Energy.  We looked at the Waning Square in A Potentially Rough Week IV, but let’s look at the Cycle itself that’s Waning.

Chiron has an elliptical orbit, actually stretching beyond the orbit of Uranus for a while, then rushing back toward the Sun before finding its Perigee inside the orbit of Saturn.  This Pattern makes for some very unusual Astrology.  We interpret this as Chiron Receiving a Message from the Soul (Uranus) and conveying it to the Ego (Saturn), then taking a Response from Saturn back to the Soul.  The Ego, of course, is very Hard of Hearing, or pretends to be, so it sometimes takes a long time for Chiron to get Saturn to Listen to the Soul’s Message.  

Western or “Tropical” astrology uses only the position in the Sky as seen from Earth to compute the Angles between planets.  How close or distant the planets are to the Earth or the Sun isn’t included.  So the 62-year Saturn-Chiron Cycles we measure relative to the Earth, by Longitude, are pretty much independent of the 50-year Cycles of Chiron’s distance from the Sun with its apogee beyond the orbit of Uranus and its perigee within that of Saturn.

In the current Cycle, it took twenty years for the Saturn Ego to grok the Soul’s message!  The current Saturn-Chiron Cycle was Initiated way back in mid-April of 1966.  Saturn Opposed Chiron a full twenty-three times between 1986 and 2006!  While Saturn and Chiron were nearly the same distance from the Sun, they traveled at about the same speed, so they chased each other around the Zodiac for twenty years.  It’s a Wonder they didn’t turn into Butter.

Couldn’t we have a field day relating this to the Uranus-Pluto Cycle and the Harmonic Convergence!  Only Coincidence though, of course – right?

To be Clear, the current Saturn-Chiron Cycle began in April 1966.  The Waxing Square occurred in 1975-76.  And the Opposition repeated 23 times from 1986 till 2006.  The Waning Square happened in 2017.  The next Cycle won’t begin until June 2028.

And what does a Waning Square mean?  It means we have to Trust enough to Let Go and Let God/Goddess.  The old Cycle is winding down, and we want to be Meditating on Emptiness during this phase of the Cycle, so we can be Open to Receiving the New Energy as it’s Born, rather than Resisting it because we’re still Invested in the Energy of the old Cycle.

So, just What Was the Soul’s message that Saturn/Ego had such a hard time Hearing?  We know that by the Degree of the Initiation of the Saturn-Chiron Cycle.  That was 24 Pisces, “On a small island surrounded by the vast expanse of the sea, people are seen living in close interaction.”  Elsie could as well have said “surrounded by the vast expanse of Space.”  A photo of Earth rising over the Moon was first sent home in August 1966..

Stewart Brand’s first Whole Earth Catalog was published two years later…

Rodney King speaks pretty eloquently to the Cycle and its “living in close interaction,” along about the twelfth Opposition…

I think it’s safe to say that the Earth Herself “got the Message,” but many of the Hupers on Her still interpret “Close Interaction” as Exploitation, without even being Conscious of it.

This kind of puts an exclamation point on the fact that Saturn Conjoins our Survival Instincts – Quaoar – in the Full Moon chart that we’re working from.  We talk about the new Saturn-Quaoar Cycle in https://astrobuss.wordpress.com/2017/12/24/fateful-new-moon-iii-survival/.  The Saturn-Chiron Waning Square Can-Opener occurred at about the same time as the Quaoar-Saturn Initiation.  A couple of other posts from around those times add a lot to the context…

• https://astrobuss.wordpress.com/2017/12/26/new-province-i/
• https://astrobuss.wordpress.com/2017/05/17/response-ability-4/

This Saturn-Quaoar is the odd-man-out in the Full Moon chart; all of the other T-Squares are embedded in and Completed by Grand Crosses, but the Saturn-Quaoar T-Square (with Chiron and Makemake) Opposes the Vacancy (https://astrobuss.wordpress.com/2018/08/22/a-potentially-rough-week/).

The Waxing Square that Saturn makes to Makemake (Manifestation) would also be an important contributor to this Dynamic.  The Saturn-Makemake Cycle Initiated in September 2009 at 26 Virgo, “A boy with a censer serves the priest near the altar.”  That’s an incense-burner, not someone who tells us what we can and can’t say, though the implication is there, not just in the homophone, but in the concept of blasphemy the priest wears on his sleeve.  And of course, unfortunately, any suggestion of a Boy and a priest implies Abuse.

A priest of course implies Duality – defining Right and Wrong.  Or Manifesting (Makemake) Profit or Loss rather than focusing on a Higher Purpose and Accepting with Gratitude what Flows from that.  The Boy assists in the Ritual, the incense Intending to Deepen the Trance and increase the Profit.  No Blame, I’ve gotten much Peace visiting as a stranger in Catholic Churches, when the Protestant Houses were locked tight.  In spite of it all, Spirit was There.

But let’s go with the incense-burner.  What Trance do you use for Manifestation, which is to say, What are your Beliefs about Manifestation?  Is Abundance your Birthright, or is it something you have to Steal, or Sacrifice your Health or your Pleasure or your Self-Respect for?  Does Abundance for you mean Having Enough to Share, or Having Enough to Waste?

Do you have to Compromise your Values to Support yourself?  I’ve been told that Guilt, or being Afraid that you’ll get “Caught” being an Imposter, means that you’re on the Edges of your Creative Self.  Is that True for you?  Are you on the Edge of your Competence?  Is that Scary, or too Comfortable?  Do you Recognize and Deal With Anxiety as Anxiety, or do you focus on the alleged Content of it, and let it fester into a chain of Negative Thoughts and Fears?  Which Consumes more of your Life – Anxiety, or Prayer?

Was 2009 for you about “The Most Important Thing is Manifestation”?  Did it Flow?  Effortlessly?  Or do you Experience Saturn as many astrologers Expect you to, as Limitation or Constraint?  Saturn Limits your Options because it’s advising you to focus on Priority Number One.  What is Priority Number One for you?  Does your sense of Obligation prevent you from putting your Fallbacks and Secondaries on hold while you narrow in on The Most Important Thing?  Do you Trust yourself to Take Care of yourself First?

It hasn’t been dominating recently, but a few years ago, as one of the prerequisites for today, there was a big Focus on Sustainability, where we Learned that the other side of the Sustainability Coin is Sustenance – Letting Go of what isn’t Necessary.  For the Greedy, Sustenance is a bad word, but many folks living a Sustenance Lifestyle feast on the Abundance of the Planet, with Prayer and Gratitude.  Yes, there will be a Fasting Season, but Calorie Restriction extends Life.

We can’t forget that Chiron Opposes Makemake in this Drama.  Which dominates your Manifestation – Pain and Despair, or Self-Empathy and Miracles?  “You Poor Sweetheart, you’re Worried about Survival, aren’t you.”  Then, do you successfully Change the Subject?

New Province I

Being a Geographer by nature, I tend to see Time as just another dimension of Space, so I’m in the habit of referring to Chapters in the Zeitgeist as “Provinces” – Provinces of Time.  If you’re at all Sensitive, you’ll agree with Native Americans that Everything That Ever Happened In A Place is still happening there now.  That gets really obvious when you visit places with very Strong Energy, like ancient Barrows or historical Massacre sites, or exposed bare Rock like the Traps or Mountains.  Sort of a 3D validation that All There Is Is Now.

Today’s my day to Learn.  I’m reading Robin Adams’s blog Robin’s Window…

 https://robinswindow.com/2017/12/14/knocking-on-heavens-door-new-moon-26-sagittarius/

and discovering these things…

She refers to the Galactic Center, the site of our most recent New Moon, as Heaven’s Door.  I’ve been thinking of it as Headquarters – a Source of Political Power.  As Heaven’s Door it would be a Source of Spiritual Power instead.  As Heaven’s Door it would be a channel for all of the Supportive and Collaborative Energy and Guidance we’ve been Receiving from nearby Galaxies. – “Sirius, the Pleiades, Arcturus, Cassiopeia, Lyra, and many other points” for instance, to quote Daniel Scranton (http://danielscranton.com/opening-a-giant-energy-portal-%e2%88%9ethe-9th-dimensional-arcturian-council/).  It would be a Source of Wisdom rather than “Orders.”  Good’un!

Distracted by other necessities and busy with the Action on “Heaven’s Gate,” I missed the Direct Station of Mercury on 22 December (6pm PST).  I don’t usually worry about Mercury Retrogrades (other than to use a little extra PIAVA-type Will during), so no biggie.  And we did cover the Shadow Period, at https://astrobuss.wordpress.com/2017/12/03/full-moon-scramble-ii/.  But Robin points out a significant fact that I accordingly missed – Mercury turned Retro on 2 December at Heaven’s Gate, with everything that’s going on there, and turned Direct again at the Great Attractor! 

The Great Attractor is an unknown Source of strong Gravity at 14 Sagittarius, behind the Milky Way and much bigger, that’s pulling everything in our Cosmic Neighborhood towards it.  Which must make it Nirvana’s Gate.  On one hand it will likely be billions of years before this has a direct physical impact on Earth.  On the other, All There Is Is Now.  And on the third hand, we have no idea how Gravity waves affect us.  We’ve only even been able to measure them for a few months, literally. 

Suffice it to say that the space between the Great Attractor and Heaven’s Gate, the Gemini Half of Sagittarius, is about Change Upon Change.  Mercury – Mentality, Communication – is now crossing this space for the third time since the Ides of November, and it will be there till 9 January.  If Change in any Guise approaches you, jump on it.

Robin mentions that Venus crossed the Galactic Center a few days ago, in the process adding a link to a fascinating essay on Gender roles in Native American tribes.  The main event on 25 December is the Initiation of Venus by Saturn at 1 Capricorn – more talk of “bravery in combat.”  The primary theme of the Venus-Saturn Cycle is that The Most Important Thing is Paying Attention to Our Values.  In this context, of course, that means Paying Attention to Changes in our Values.  It may seem like bravery in combat to inform Mom or Dad that their Values are no longer your Values, and may never have been, though you’ve given it the old college try.

The Saturn-Venus Initiation chart is of course very similar to the Quaoar-Saturn Initiation chart that we described in the previous post.  The Moon has moved off of OR10-Nessus, which will lighten the pressure to come to terms with your Memories of Abuse and Privilege.  Being Expected to share the same Values as your Programmers, by the way, would be Soul Abuse were it not for the fact that “you” (on the Soul level) “hired” them to set up this Issue for you so you’d be forced to deal with it.  Which not at all diminishes the Emotional Impact on you, nor your right to Express your Outrage to help Let Go of the Lifelong dimming of your Light.

It’s good practice at Cognitive Dissonance, to hold in a far corner of your mind the knowledge that the ultimate goal is Forgiveness, while fully Surrendering to Owning, Acknowledging, Expressing, and ultimately Embracing, as an Essential part of the Core of Self, your True Emotions about this Soul-level Abuse.  It’ll help to remember that while All There Is Is Now, this Abuse has a history stretching back many Lifetimes, and that while the Emotions are scorchingly Personal, Abuse is not at all Personal.  You and your Programmers have undoubtedly done this Privilege-Abuse Dance many times, with much Role-switching.

You’re working for the Planet here, keening away Centuries of Abuse enacted on billions of Slaves of all kinds in all manner of Situations.  You only signed on to Experience it Personally because you knew that it was the only way to put enough Passion into it.  As we’ve said, one of the most reliable paths to Letting Go of PTSD – which is the logical result of Abuse – is Theater.  Yes, your father will be upset when he Learns the Truth, and he will probably be unable to detach from his Father Role enough to understand the Plot.  Will you, frankly, “give a damn” about that? 

He signed up to be your Karmic student too; the contract was mutual.  We’re in the thick of Transition from one Age to another.  In that context, Truth is more important than Compassion.  However, the Age we’re moving toward is more Compassionate than the one we’re leaving behind.  Unlike them, you can do Truth without being Cruel.  PIAVA as much, because if you’re really in your Role, your Ego and mind may lose track of that.

Robin reminds us that Lilith (Self-Sovereignty) has been running the same Initiation gauntlet that Sappho (Self-Love) has – Saturn (Priority), Ixion (Genius), Pholus (Responsibility), Quaoar (Survival), Chariklo (Self-Confidence), Hylonome (Casting off Archetypes), the Galactic Center, and the all-important Capricorn Cusp.  Many ancient traditions have the Day beginning at Sunset, not Sunrise.  It’s the same with the Year – it’s Birthed at the Capricorn Solstice, not the Aries Equinox.

She also points out what I of all people should not have missed!  The Uranus-Saturn Initiation that kicked off the 1988-91 Harmonic Convergence occurred at 30 Sagittarius – so all this Hyperactivity on the Galactic Center and Capricorn Cusp Retriggers the Energy of the Harmonic Convergence, which begins its 30-year anniversary in seven weeks.  The Harmonic Convergence, astrologically, comprised a triple Initiation of Neptune, Uranus, and Saturn, while Opposed by Jupiter and Chiron. 

I of all people should have remembered that, because the precursors to this blog were born in January 1988, with the express purpose of helping people Detach from these very Big Astroevents, so my readers wouldn’t make the mistake of taking them Personally.  In retrospect that was kind of silly, if Intended Compassionately, because the nature of Big Astroevents is that we all Act them Out in accordance with our Personal Relationship to them.  They actually don’t Exist, in some sense – like a Tree falling in the Forest – without our Participation, though that’s a very anthropomorphic interpretation.  The Forest actually has a hell of a lot more Consciousness than we do.

There’s wide agreement, and premonition, that the Harmonic Convergence is what started this whole Ascension Cycle, and the Centaur Stampede that’s been Dancing on the Galactic Center for the last several years is just another step toward Grounding it.  The Quaoar-Saturn Initiation is another.  The Saturn-Venus Initiation extends it further, recognizing that our Survival depends on a 100-Monkeys’ worth of us Shifting the Values that run our Lives from Ego to Soul.

The 30-year anniversary is the Pearl anniversary.  Like Opal…

Pearl betrays the fact that Matter is not as Inert as it usually appears to be, that Energy Dances within it.  Both are Gateways to the Realm of Faerie.  Opal is considered Dangerous to the Patriarchy because of that, because it can Enhance Emotions that would be better, for the Patriarchy, kept under lock and key.  For Ascension, those Emotions need to be Owned, Acknowledged, Expressed, and ultimately Embraced as an Essential part of the Core of Self.  Then we can Feel the Light in these Passions, rather than Being their Dark Side.

She finishes up with…

“Sorrow can be a turning point that shifts the focus to respecting self – rather than hoping others will respect ‘me.’  It takes courage to follow the Inner-Path that flies in the face of convention.  Anything less is denial of Self.  Between now and the Gregorian New Yew, slow down, find the Center-of-Self and proceed in a step-by-step manner, otherwise we’ll leave others dazed and confused.  Look for the middle-path-through-any-impasse.”

Finally, in Robin’s About section (https://robinswindow.com/about/), she says “There are 3 sides of the coin.  The Trinity – – – Heads Tails and The Edge.  And it is the ‘Edge‘ I focus on here.”  We’re always talking about how Both Sides comprise the Coin, and we too focus on the Edge, of Consciousness.  Yet I’ve never made this connection in quite this way. 

Here’s a very interesting article that talks about many of the same things we talk about here (for instance, Consciousness, PIAVA, Noticing), but uses very different language to talk about them…

https://parabola.org/2017/01/17/seeing-is-an-act-by-jeanne-de-salzmann/

Juno was Zeus’s wife (Hera in Greek, Juno in Latin).  Zeus was the vehicle that Transformed – ReFormed the Trance – the Matriarchy or Yin Feminine Tradition into the Patriarchy or Yang Masculine Culture that we now Suffer under.  As the model for Surrending Matriarchal Sovereignty, Juno was the poster child for how the then-New Female would fit into the Patriarchy. 

In Greek Mythology, both Juno and Hylonome are thoroughly Identified with their Sovereignty-Surrendered Roles.  Since we regard such Fate as how astrology Impacts those who remain Unconscious, and since we read for those who strive to step over the Edge into Expanding Consciousness, we regard both Juno and Hylonome as symbolizing the Breaking Free from our Karmic Archetypes.

So it’s meaningful that in the Quaoar-Saturn-Venus Initiations it’s Juno (that which is Coming Into Consciousness) that Opposes (Facilitates) Varuna’s (the Life Force) position at the Pay-Attention point of the Finger of God based on Saturn et al and OR10-Nessus (our Memories of Abuse).  Adding an exclamation point is the fact that the Quaoar-Saturn-Venus Initiations form a Trioctile Bridge (Insights) across the Nodal Axis – we have a lot to Learn here about our Mission (North Node) and our Held Emotions (South Node). 

My humble thanks to Robin for playing the role of my Muse in this Adventure!

We’re now firmly in the Province of the 28 December (8am PST) Veritas (Truth) Station (Strong Energy), and entering the Province of the 2 January (3pm PST) Makemake (Manifestation) Station.

Fateful New Moon III – Survival

By now the Crescent Moon has already appeared, but the first appearance of the Crescent is a symbol for the Activation of the New Moon Energies into Hardcopy “Reality,” aka Matter.  So while we’re a bit past the “Fateful” New Moon, what we’re writing about here is really quite relevant to the Lunar Cycle, as it was impending at the moment of the New Moon…

Traditional astrology makes a Big Deal out of Sign Changes, when a planet moves from one Sign to the next.  That’s appropriate, as a Sign Change represents a Change in the Zeitgeist.  For instance, Saturn moves out of Sagittarius and into Capricorn on 19 December (8pm PST), and of course the Sun enters Capricorn, as it does every year, on 21 December (5pm PST).  Sagittarius is about Letting Go, while Capricorn’s theme is Just Fix It. 

Since Saturn signifies The Most Important Thing, this is a pretty big Change, from The Most Important Thing is to Let It Go (Sagittarius)…

(seems like we haven’t had much Choice but to Let It Go for a while now), to The Most Important Thing is to Just Fix It (Capricorn).

https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/nahkoandmedicineforthepeople/alohakeakua.html

Well, someone mixed up the title, but that’s okay, it’s a catchy tune, and the concepts are related. 

That’ll be nice if things Just Get Fixed.  So far we’ve fixed Net Brutality and dooH niboR taxes, and Saturn isn’t even there yet.  Saturn’s been in Sagittarius for three years now; on average it hangs out in one Sign for thirty months.  We must’ve needed a lot of Letting Go, eh?  It stays in Capricorn for three years too – Lord knows we need a lot of Fixin’. 

Pluto’s been in Capricorn for ten years, and it doesn’t seem like much has gotten Fixed, mostly the other way around, unless you’re redundantly wealthy and don’t care about your Planet.   On the other hand, if we have Respect for All Things, we have to assume that this is a Healing Crisis, and that the foundations are actually crumbling, and we’ll see the edifice topple from its own weight ‘ere long.  Like the way it’s been going with Power and the Exploitation of Women.  We actually don’t need to look too hard for evidence of crumbling foundations.

Maybe when Saturn gets to Pluto in January 2020, we’ll have another big Tripping Point.  That Initiation happens at 23 Capricorn, “A soldier receiving two awards for bravery in combat.”  The last Jedi maybe.  But there is a long list of Big Initiations occurring – too many to write about – so we could well see more Tripping Points.  For instance, Pholus Initiated Saturn (The Most Important Thing is Taking Full Responsibility, recalling that Responsibility is not Blame) on 4 December.

And one of the biggest December Initiations is the Quaoar-Saturn Initiation on 23 December (11am PST), Initiating a new 33-year Cycle.  It occurs at 1 Capricorn, “A Native American Chief claims power from the assembled tribes.”  From our Western European Perspective, that sounds Patriarchal, but in most Native Cultures, the Chief was in charge of War and not much else.  It was the Matriarchy that ruled everything else.

Quaoar represents our Survival Instincts; the God-figure Quaoar taught the California Native Americans how to Live in harmony with the Landscape they Lived in, just as Makemake channeled similar wisdom to the the folks on Rapa Nui.  So the theme here is that The Most Important Thing is Listening to Our Survival Instincts.  That adds considerable weight to the notion that The Most Important Thing is to Just Fix It, and suggests that we may be near a Tipping Point on Global Warming.

Here’s the chart – “Q” is short for Quaoar…

The focus is on Varuna – the Life Force – at the point of a Finger of God (Pay Attention! – the green wedge).  the other side of the base of the Finger of God is Moon-OR10-Nessus, representing the Healing of Memories of Abuse – and the Healing of Illusions of Privilege.  Saturn-Quaoar Conjoins (implying that the Initiation and the entire Cycle is Merged with…) Pholus (Responsibility), Venus (our Values), and the Sun (our Essence).  In other words, this is a Biggie, and it’s critical to maintenance of the Life Force on the Planet and in our own Bodies.

Imagine how much Life Force you’ll regain by Healing your own Memories of Abuse.  Then Intend it. 

Imagine how much Life Force you’ll regain by Healing your Illusions of Privilege.  While it may Feel Liberating in the immediate moment, Privilege is a burden.  Equality and Community far exceed the benefits of Privilege.  As we shift from Competition to Cooperation and Collaboration, we no longer waste Energy maintaining Privilege.

Halfway between Quaoar-Saturn-et al and Moon-OR10-Nessus, and Opposite Varuna, sits Juno, implying that becoming Conscious of the Relationship between how Alive we Feel and our Memories of Abuse and Privilege, is the key to restoring our Survival Instincts and giving them Priority.

There’s a second chart in the Quaoar-Saturn Initiation, half a Sign from the Initiation itself…

The core of this chart is Jupiter, Expansion.  How do we Expand (our Life Force)?  By Choosing (the T-Square as Mastery through Challenge) to give our Mission (North Node) Priority (Ceres) over our South Node (Suffering).  The chart includes a tremendous Gift – the Air Grand Trine (Great Blessings – the blue triangle) between our Suffering, our Intuition (Asbolus), and Trust (Eurydike), Kited by Ceres-North Node (Directed toward making our Mission Primary).  Jupiter also Trines (Blessing) Lachesis (Choosing to abort a Timeline midstream), lending us Grace to Break our Karmic Patterns.

The chart includes four Fingers of God, or Foci for our Attention…

• Ceres-North Node, our Mission
• Pluto, advising against Resistance, since it will be Futile
• Asbolus, our Intuition
• Lachesis, our Power to Choose

The Power to Choose is devilishly Subtle.  We are our Karmic Patterns, we’re Merged with them, we Identity with them.  Rejecting them feels like Rejecting ourself.  More than that, we don’t know that we can Reject them!  Our Identification with them is Unconscious.  How to Break out of this prison?  Your Desires.

There are things you Want, things you’ve Wanted all your Life, things you’ve never been able to perfect, no matter how many ways you’ve tried.  Not Material things, but Emotional-Spiritual things.  Peace, Relationship, Love, Faith, Security, Self-Sovereignty, Community, Belonging, Equality, Trust, for example.  How many of those examples can you claim as yours?  What would you add?  The Tension between What You Want and What You Have is your fulcrum of Power. 

Pick one of your Lifelong Desires, and Give Yourself Permission to Have it.  A ton of Yes-Buts may well arise; rephrase them as Yes-Ands.  Then forget about it, focus on other things for a day.  This time tomorrow, look to see what came up in your Life.  Any Insights?  Any Liberation from Tension?  Any Guilt you can Tap Out?  Owning our Lifelong Wants is an important key to Liberating the Life Force.  Manifesting What You Want happens automatically when you’ve Surrendered all  of your Resistance to it. 

You won’t have to Work at it or Do anything to get it; it will come to you.  Your Wants are perfectly Natural, and shared by Others.  When you stop Resisting them, you Manifest a Reality where they just happen, because they’re Natural.  You’ve envied and studied many People who already Have What You Want, and you’ve Learned that they aren’t doing anything special or different, they’re just being themselves.  Well?

Two subcharts that are half a Sign apart, are potential goldmines for the Octile series of Angles (the metallic lines in the chart below).  The Quaoar-Saturn Initiation sits at the Midpoint of the Jupiter-South Node Square.  That Square is about Mastering (through Challenge of course) the technique of Healing our Suffering by Amplifying it.  Our natural tendency is to Deny it, run from it, Resist it, even Curse it.  What we need to do instead is Love it to Death.  Once we Embrace our Suffering Unconditionally, we Welcome it as a natural part of Life.  It becomes Compassion instead of Suffering. 

We can touch the Edges of that by Poor-Sweethearting ourself – “You Poor Sweetheart, you’re Suffering, aren’t you.”  You may hear a tiny voice agreeing.  One of the most effective ways to Heal PTSD is through Theater.  Once you’re able to Act Out the role of your Suffering consumately, you have Mastered it, and it is no longer your Master.  Take that tiny voice (or any suspicions you have), and Act them Out.  Keen about them. 

Imagine what you’d say to someone who’s telling you to forget your Suffering and “Move On,” if you had Permission to be totally Honest and Direct.  Imagine what you’d say, if you had no reason to be other than totally Direct and Honest, to someone who’s telling you that your Suffering is your own Choice.  How would you Respond to someone who tells you “Frankly, Scarlet, I don’t give a Damn!”  Scream and shout your True Feelings.  Amplify your Truth, no matter how much you would normally Judge it.  With Jupiter-Nodes, this is the time to do precisely this. 

Act it Out like your Survival depended on your Winning the Role.

The Quaoar-Saturn Initiation Trioctiles Ceres-North Node, so Breakthrough Insights about your True Mission in this Lifetime are likely.  When you Amplify your Suffering and Learn to Embrace it Fully as a most-Valued part of your True Self, as your Crown Jewel, you’ll Discover the Skills that are Hidden beneath your former Resistance to it.  Those Skills happen to be exactly what you Need to achieve your Lifetime Mission, to obtain exactly What You Want.  Your Suffering, and your Mission and Wants, are two sides of the same Coin.

There’s one caveat.  Desire is slippery.  Once you achieve the Form of What You’ve Always Wanted, you’ll Want something else.  That’s because your Picture of What You’ve Always Wanted, is a composite of the Spiritual Essence of What Your Soul Wants for you on the one hand, and What Your Ego Can Accept.  If you can Picture it, it’s probably not the Bottom Line, because it’s probably Material to some degree.  On the other hand, if you can Feel it, you’ll be a lot closer.

Imagine Achieving What You’ve Always Wanted, That Which Will Most, Finally, Make You Feel Whole.  Now focus on What You Feel when you Imagine that.  That’s a lot closer to your Mission.  Emotion isn’t Everything, but it’s Fundamental to Manifestation.  Those People who already have What You’ve Always Wanted, and who do it so Effortlessly?  They Feel it.  There’s a Paradox here, because once you Feel what it will feel like when you Get What You’ve Always Wanted, you no longer Need What You’ve Always Wanted.  You already Have it.  You can just bask in the Feeling which you now know how to Create and, with a little effort, Maintain.

Is there still a gap between Feeling that, and What You’ve Always Wanted?  When you’re Feeling that, do you still crave the Picture of What You’ve Always Wanted?  Take it a step further.  Maybe you can Feel what you imagine it will Feel like when you’ve Reunited with your Soulmate, but you still Long for the Contact.  Then Ask yourself, what else will you get from your Soulmate, besides that Feeling?  Sure, there’s the Physical Contact, and you may have to Trust that you’re more likely to meet your Soulmate if you spend time Feeling what it will Feel Like when you do.

But, going a step further, maybe what you Believe your Soulmate will give you, for instance, is Unconditional Respect.  You may not have cast or Pictured What You’ve Always Wanted as Unconditional Respect, but consider it.  Is that a part of What You’ve Always Wanted?  I’ve occasionally introduced folks who are very close to being Twigmates astrologically (some consider us to have many “Twigmates” – Souls who are leaves on the same branch as we are, with whom we’ve had many Lifetimes), and after initial amazement, they’ve ended up disliking one another intensely.  Why?  They weren’t Unconditionally Respectful of themselves.

They Judged parts of themself, Unconsciously, Believing their Judgment was a valid Response to their role in their Environment.  Folks who Suffer from Perfectionism can be particularly Vulnerable to this.  Can we be Unconditionally Respectful of our Perfectionism, without Judging any other parts of ourself?  It’s all about Timing.  If we Learn to “Cancel-Neutralize-Upgrade” the instant we detect ourself Judging, then with a smile Honor our Perfectionism, I suspect we could resolve this Paradox fairly well.

Our ballbuster here is Judgment.  While Saturn represents Discrimination, Jupiter symbolizes Tolerance.  We can Discriminate, Choosing between alternatives, without Judging what we didn’t Choose.  Jupiter would take it a step further, Surrendering to either, being Open to how either would Change us.  If our Identity is Flexible, we can always adapt.  Without Discriminating against Discrimination, when that’s what we Choose.