Archive for the ‘Nessus-OR10’ Category

Abuse Week 1

November 18, 2019

Remember a while back when the symbol for Abuse and Privilege (dwarf planet Nessus) was crossing the symbol for Invasive Memories (dwarf planet OR10) and we were very busy Enduring, and hopefully, Letting Go of lots of old Abuse Memories?  (See https://astrobuss.wordpress.com/category/cycles/nessus-or10/.)  We get big-time flashbacks this week, as both of these dwarf planets are Strong (Stationary) on the same day again.  Fortunately, the symbol for Ending TimeLines (asteroid Atropos) is also Strong this week; that should help.  The schedule looks like this…

Up until 11am PST 20 November 2019 – Mercury (Communication, Analysis) turns Direct at 12 Scorpio.  We usually pretty much ignore Mercury because a primary thesis of ours is that the more frequently astroevents recur, the more practice we have with them, and the more Routine is our Experience of them – and Mercury does most everything frequently.  But this event stands out because Mercury has been Dancing in Scorpio (Diving Deep to Get to the Bottom of Things) at the same time as the Truth Twins (asteroids Aletheia and Veritas) were Diving Deep.

The Mercury Station chart very much introduces Abuse Week, as the symbol for Abuse and Privilege (dwarf planet Nessus) and that for Making Emotional Decisions (the Moon Merged with dwarf planet Orcus) are Challenged (Squared) by the symbol for Beginning New TimeLines (asteroid Klotho).  Meanwhile our Lifetime Template (the Nodal Axis) is Challenged by the need to Confront our Fate (asteroid Moira) and our Codependence (dwarf planet Hylonome).

On the plus side of the ledger, there is Great Emotional Grace available to us (Mercury-Nessus-North Node Water Grand Trine).

Up until noon PST 21 November, the symbol for Intrusive Memories (dwarf planet OR10) is Strong (Stationary) in 4 Pisces.

Up until 4:30 pm PST 21 November, the symbol for Abuse and Privilege (dwarf planet Nessus) is Strong (Stationary) in 9 Pisces.

Up until 2pm PST 22 November, the symbol for Ending Timelines (asteroid Atropos) is Strong (Stationary) at 7 Aries.

In addition to being close together in Time, these four Stations are all within a few Degrees of each other, at 4, 7, 9, and 12 Degrees.  That means we’re likely to Experience them as All One Event.  If we’ve been practicing at Becoming Conscious of our Karma so we can Choose Different Habits – as the astrology has been coaching us to do since at least the End of Time As We Know It and the Uranus-Pluto Square in 2012 – we can look forward to saying a final Goodbye to some old unpleasant Habits of being “in the wrong place at the wrong time” and getting Abused for it.

And if we’ve been practicing at Becoming Conscious of our Karma so we can Choose Different Habits, we can also look forward to getting Called Out on some old pleasant Habits of being in a position of Power and practicing Privilege.  Whenever you Exercise Privilege, someone else receives Abuse.

If we have NOT been practicing at Becoming Conscious of our Karma, we may well find ourselves in a “last straw” situation, “blowing up” at being Abused again, and finally setting a solid Boundary to prevent its recurrence.  Bravo!  May you be Bulletproof and Bullyproof!

And similarly, if we have NOT been practicing at Becoming Conscious of our “Good” (favorable to our Ego, that is) Karma or Privilege, we may find ourselves seriously shot down for Unconsciously Abusing someone.  These days that can have serious repercussions on our Reputation, Career, Relationships, and even Criminal Status.

For instance, the Billionaire Class is coming under fire for their Sociopathic Avarice these days.  Till recently they’ve been treated as if they were Gods.  The Occupy Movement and its Identification of the rest of us as “the 99%” was a necessary start, but you saw how quickly it faded into Obscurity.  This time may be more lasting.  Even some of the Billionaires are calling for a Jubilee.

Racism may be becoming more obvious as well.  A few years ago the media, the NFL, and the government conspired to take a protest against Open Season for the police to shoot to kill young black men, and Spin it into “disrespect for the flag.”  Masterful as PR, but unspeakably Evil as public or quasi-public policy, and as “journalism.”  Colin Kaepernick is becoming more visible again, with a public workout this last weekend.  Maybe there will be forward motion on Privilege and Abuse.

More on these themes and charts as the week progresses.

Boundaries III

February 11, 2019

A we mentioned in Boundaries, “Other, of course, isn’t just Other Hupers.”  We’ve been writing about Libra and Pallas for several days without realizing till now that Other and Boundary are really the same concept or word, just seen from different Perspectives.  Without a Boundary there wouldn’t be an Other, and without Other we’d never have the notion of Boundary.  It’s all about Identity, which is a lot more Fluid than we usually think.  And about Duality, which is a lot more Limiting than we usually think.

We Hupers usually think of the Veil between us and the Other Side as more of a Limitation than a Boundary, but Boundary it is, and the Other Side is as much an element of Libra as your paramour.

“He was not wakened again by Alder, but he had a bad dream of his own.

“He was standing by a wall of stone near the top of a long hillside of dry grey grass that ran down from dimness into the dark.  He knew he had been there before, had stood there before, but he did not know when, or what place it was.  Someone was standing on the other side of the wall, the downhill side, not far away.  He could not see the face, only that it was a tall man, cloaked.  He knew that he knew him.  The man spoke to him, using his true name.  He said, ‘You will soon be here, Ged.’

“Cold to the bone, he sat up, staring to see the space of the house about him, to draw its reality about him like a blanket.  He looked out the window at the stars.  The cold came into his heart then.  They were not the stars of summer, beloved, familiar, the Cart, the Falcon, the Dancers, the Heart of the Swan.  They were the Other stars, the small, still stars of the dry land, that never rise or set.  He had known their names once, when he knew the names of things.

” ‘Avert!’ he said aloud and made the gesture to turn away misfortune that he had learned when he was ten years old.”  (Ursula Le Guin, The Other Wind, pp.12-13)

“We who have true names keep them when we die, it’s our use-name that is forgotten… This is a mystery to the learned, I can tell you, but as well as we understand it, a true name is a word in the True Speech. … When my master Aihal died, my wife was there with him; and as he was dying he said to her, ‘It is changed, all changed.‘  He was looking across that wall.  From which side I do not know.”  (ibid, p.45)

“Kalessin said: ‘Long ago we chose.  We chose freedom.  Men chose the yoke.  We chose fire and the wind.  They chose water and the earth.  We chose the west,  and they chose the east.’

“And Kalessin said: ‘But always among us some envy them their wealth, and always among them some envy us our liberty.  So it was that evil came into us and will come into us again, until we choose again, and forever, to be free.  Soon I am going beyond the west to fly on the Other Wind.  I will lead you there, or wait for you, if you will come.’ …

“Then Kalessin said, ‘Once we were one people.  And in sign of that, in every generation of men, one or two are born who are dragons also.  And in every generation of our people, longer than the quick lives of men, one of us is born who is also human.  Of these one is now living in the Inner Isles.  And there is one of them living there now who is a dragon.  These two are the messengers, the bringers of choice.  There will be no more such born to us or to them.  For the balance changes.’ ”  (Ibid, pp.167-68)

We can also compare our day-to-day Experience with that of Daphne Charters and her friends (Forty Years with the Fairies, pp.260-61)…

“This work, in which we all assist, is known as a transformation.  We seek and find a lost soul whose astral body, as well as the physical, has died, leaving no trace to normal Astral eyes.  However, because we cannot see a ‘dead’ person, owing to his faster rate of vibration, it does not follow that he has no body.  So it is with those whose vibrations have sunk through the years until only the Great Ones know where they lie.

“We find these people by their vibration, however slow and, although we are unable to see them when we reach them, we mark the spot and direct rays of power and love upon them until their vibrations are sufficiently raised for the bodies to become visible to us.  This is the first stage in the rehabilitation of ‘lost souls,’ as much power has to be directed to them over sometimes long periods before consciousness returns.

“In order to achieve even the first part of the transformation, it is necessary for many hundreds of people from the Astral to gather together.  By passing power through their bodies, it becomes sufficiently coarsened to be effective amidst very slow vibrating matter.  This is where Daphne is of use to us, for her physical body vibrates slower than those of us who live on the Astral, a higher plane, thus power which is passed through her coarsens the whole.

“Unless you are clairvoyant, you will not have seen a display of power so you cannot know the magnitude of the volume, or the intensity of light.  Fairies can naturally see this power for it is their life’s work to distribute it, but normally they know only the quantity which they can collectively produce in their own group.  Our own fairies, who always help us, are ever amused at the never-ending supply so we were interested to see how the delegates would be affected…”

“How different is the power which we witnessed today to that which is known by the same name on Earth.  Man ever seeks for power to overcome his neighbors, to add to his possessions, or to acquire authority over more people.  Today we were privileged to see the essence from which all these petty misnomers have their being.

“But this true-power, in its purity of purpose, performed a deed so wondrous that if men were told of it, they would not believe.  If only those who sought to misuse it understood the condition in which they will find themselves when their ridiculous, puffed-up physical bodies and accompanying personalities are no more, perhaps they would then use it to lift up instead of to crush, to comfort rather than exploit, and, in the happiness which they would at last know, they would find the key to a better world.”

So, I was Wondering about the Other planet in Libra, Makemake.  And it turns out that, at least for now, the Bottom Line of Makemake in Libra is that If we Want to Manifest What We Want, we have to Seek Out and Revert our Victim Postures.  Drawing up the Makemake chart for the moment when Juno enters Gemini – ie, when we are likely to be due for substantial Consciousness Expansion (8:30 pm PST 10 February)…

…Reveals two big Challenges (T-Squares)…

A Challenge to Manifestation itself (Makemake) between Making it a Value of ours to be Fully Responsive to our Survival Instincts (Venus-Pholus-Quaoar) and Choosing Consciousness over Fate (asteroid Moira).

Fate is what happens To Us when we’re not Conscious of what’s going on.  It’s not about Why but rather about What.  What’s the Pattern?  When our Repeating Bummers happen, what Precedes them?  When “bad luck” befalls us, there’s a sequence of events that leads up to it.  We aren’t talking Cause & Effect – that’s a left-brain dead end.  Useful if you’re Stuck in the 3D Dynamic Masculine Creative process, but Obfuscating if you want to use 5D Magnetic Feminine Manifestation methods.

PIAVA that you become aware of What Precedes your Self-Sabotage.  If you already knew what it was you’d have fixed it long ago.  It’s behind your Blinders, and you won’t see it without enlisting the Cooperation of the Unconscious – that is, using PIAVA.  For instance, “Lord Ganesh, Please Remove All Obstacles to my Realizing How I Stumble into Self-Sabotage.”  Once you get Conscious about these Patterns, you can Choose otherwise.  https://astrobuss.wordpress.com/category/manifestation/piava-review/.

We’ve been working with Responding Fully (Pholus) to our Survival Instincts (Quaoar) – ie, Disallowing our Yes-Buts that try to Protect our Routines – for a long time.  We’re running out of Excuses.  It’s past time to Accept this as a basic Value.

The second Challenge is about Reframing the Beliefs Created by our Victim Postures (Vesta-OR10-Nessus) between Ego Death (Nemesis) and Sustainability (Ceres).

Like our Survival Instincts, we’ve also been working with our Abuse Memories for a long time now.  First we have to Retrieve them – or Allow them to Retrieve us (OR10), and Acknowledge their Reality.  Then we have to Empathize with our Real Victim, Revert any Blaming-the-Victim behavior we indulged or encountered, and Deal with our Real Emotions.  That usually takes a lot more than a few hundred Poor-Sweethearts, though they can be useful.  https://astrobuss.wordpress.com/category/poor-sweetheart/.

People talk a lot about Forgiveness, but in a real sense what we need is the Opposite of Forgiveness, as our original Tolerance was a form of Forgiveness to begin with.  We don’t Forgive; we Discover that we’ve Forgiven.  It’s an Observation, not an Action.  As with Self-Sabotage, we need to Discover what Preceded our episodes of Abuse, so we can Learn to Recognize the Pattern before it turns Abusive, and Choose Otherwise.  While Sharing all this increases the Pain, it’s often very difficult to do alone.

Yes, just about every step in the process of Clearing Abuse – Recall, Acceptance, Self-Empathy, Embracing our Real, Explosive Emotions, Opening to the Patterns – requires an Ego Death (Nemesis).  Our Resistance to Ego Death must be Reframed, so we Recognize when it’s happening and Learn to Celebrate it as the fastest route to Living a Better Life.

And as we move through Abuse, we have to Recognize that we’re likely to be Abused in some ways every day.  Every “trivial” unkind remark, Intentional or otherwise, can make us Feel Less-Than.  So we have to get very good at Recognizing it, Owning and Healing our Reactions, and approaching Ego Death as we would a Latte, in order to make this whole process Sustainable (Ceres).

And Sustainability-Ceres is the kingpin of the whole chart, as it is the head of a Kite that connects the two T-Squares.  A Kite is a Grand Trine (three planets equally spaced around the Circle) with a fourth planet halfway between two of the three.  The fourth planet – Ceres – becomes the Focus of the substantial Dumb-Luck Blessings served up by the Grand Trine.

So we have a Golden Opportunity to bring these Challenges – Cleaning Up our Manifestations by Choosing to Support our Survival Instincts, and Rooting Out the Limiting Beliefs that our Abuse History has left us with – into Resolution, where they Serve our Deepest Desires rather than Sabotaging them.

The three corners of the Grand Trine, or Big Grace, are Manifestation (Makemake), Ego Death (Nemesis), and The End of Karma (asteroids Atropos and Karma).  We’ve actually been working on the Death of Karma for a lot longer than we’ve been working on Abuse Memories or Responding to Survival Instincts.  The Realization in the Western World that Karma is about Inertia rather than Retribution has been with us since Alan Watts’s books in the 1950s.

A corollary is that Karma does not Grasp us, we Grasp it.  Like our Other Challenges, Letting Go of Our Karma involves Noticing when it’s recurring, Reverting our Belief that it’s Inevitable, Discovering the Patterns that led up to it, Noticing when those Patterns Begin the next time, and Choosing an Alternative.  The Death of Karma is a Given in this Drama; it’s not something we’re being Scheduled to work on, it’s something that we can use as a model for the Abuse and Survival Issues we are working on.

Dragon, of course, is a synonym for Karma, and as we saw, Dragons have gone to fly on the Other Wind.

Half-Marathon

November 10, 2018

The next few weeks will be a bit like a half-marathon, as we run through three gauntlets and nine astroevents in rapid succession.

 

First up, on 11 November (1:30pm PST) Ceres moves into Scorpio until almost the end of January.  Ceres is about Sustainability, and Scorpio is about Getting To The Bottom of Things.  We’ve been trying to isolate Sustainable Relationships (Libra) since early September.  Now we just Want a Sustainably Lifestyle.  Well, the Easiest way to Achieve Sustainability is to think in terms of Sustenance. 

Sustenance – What Can We Do Without? – is the flip side of the Sustainability Coin.  You may be considering it already.  Turning off lights when you leave the room?  Thinking about how to get along without something instead of how to get it?  The payoff will Surprise you.  With Sign Changes, the Zeitgeist just Changes.  The more Sensitive you are to the planet and Signs, the sooner you’ll Notice it – if you’re looking, of course.

 

There are three Stations on 15-16 November, so those will keep us occupied till then.  Station Energy is most intense before the Exact Station, building as we approach the Station, then dropping off sharply.  Usually.  There are exceptions, and we need to talk about those.  Remind me.  And asteroid Karma enters Capricorn on the 16th (8pm PST).

Karma’s been in Sagittarius since the Ides of January.  Sagittarius of course is about Letting Go, so we’ve had a good run – haven’t we.  Remember how much more Limited your Life was last winter?  Karma even went Retrograde in Sagittarius, so it hung out there longer, just for us.  It only takes about ten weeks to cross Capricorn instead of ten months.  That’s just as well, because Capricorn, which stands for “Just Do It,” can get us in trouble when it comes to Karma.  Till the end of January, if it’s Habitual, we should “Just Do It For The Last Time.”  Ok?

The three 15-16 November Stations are…

  • Asteroid Moira on 15 November (4am PST).  Moira is about Choice.
  • Venus on 16 November (3am PST), which is about our Values.
  • Mercury on 16 November (5:30 pm PST) – Communication, Awareness, Mentality.

So we’re likely to Experience it as we might Experience a Moira-Venus-Mercury Initiation, meaning we’re becoming Aware that we have Choices around our own Values.  Our Betters make a big deal about Living Up To Our Values, but when you think about it, what they really want you to do is Live Up to Their Values.  You gain a lot of Self-Sovereignty when you see through that Farce.

This isn’t a real Initiation, but if it was, again depending on how Sensitive we are to it, the Energy would be very Strong on both sides of the Exact Intiation, but there would be a Shift in your Attitude.  Beforehand you’d be glib about it as if no one was watching you critically.  Then after the Exact Initiation you’d feel increasingly censured, till you took the Energy Underground.  Which is what you’ll probably do.  For a while.  Unless it’s your Mission.

We should Review Moira a bit.  Moira means Fate.  But Fate happens to us when we’re Unconscious.  When we become Conscious, we Realize we don’t have to do that any more.  Fate + Consciousness = Choice.  So we Interpret Fate as Choice.  Astrology, at least the kind that we do, is about Growing our Consciousness.  So as astrologers we always Ask first and Ask last, “Are you Conscious of this?”  Right?  With an open mind. 

Sure, they teach traditional astrology as if it was as reliable as Engineering.  When I take a course in astrology and assume it’s a seminar, and start contributing the Insights I’ve Learned from astrology, I’m usually “corrected.”  But in Real Life we’re all Different, and you’ll never know when you’re going to meet someone who’s Different from anyone you or the astroelders ever met.  Especially when more of the Others come ashore.

In the Unconscious, Opposites are Equals.  That’s why we’re advised never to use Negation when we PIAVA, and that’s why we often get the Opposite of what we Asked for when we PIAVA (which is a sign of Success).  The Unconscious has Dimensions, but it’s not Dualistic; its Directions are Circular.  For those of you who aren’t familiar with PIAVA, it’s a bottom-line concept to bring into Consciousness for the current Eon – see https://astrobuss.wordpress.com/category/manifestation/piava-review/.

 

The Big Challenge arrives in earnest before 19-20 November.  We’ll Feel this one well before that, because it’s a Biggie, and the three days between the 16th and the 19th aren’t long enough for it to run its course.  So we’ll have to go back and modify the previous Interpretation later.

The Biggie is about Nessus and OR10. Nessus Stands Still on 19 November (7am PST), and OR10 does the same on 20 November (9pm PST).

We’ve done this before recently, many times, as the two were fellow travelers for several years.  They’re no longer fellow travelers (in the sense of being Merged), but when they have Stations together it Feels like they’re Merged again.  Nessus represents Abuse and Privilege, OR10 Invasive Memories.  So this is mostly about Recovering Abuse Memories.  Recovering is the good part, because it’s not possible to Let Them Go while they’re still Unconscious.

Now, while Nessus and OR10 were Merged, we Merged with these not-so-pleasant Memories, usually Feeling Shame or/and Rage in the process.  So we’re likely to Re-Experience that, and being Creatures of Habit (er, Karma, ie Inertia), we’ll be Expecting to Merge with them again.  But we won’t, unless we make that Unconscious Choice.  We don’t need to. 

We can make the Conscious Choice to Dislodge our Identity from them this time, because now the Energies themselves are no longer Merged.  As time goes on they’ll be less and less Merged, so start now or you’ll find yourself Out of Synch with the Universe later.  Whatever sort of Ascension, 5D, Enlightenment, Bliss, Collaboration, Community, Ease, or other kind of Grace you Want to characterize your Future, being Out of Synch with the Universe won’t help at all.

This is Subtle, so Pay Attention.  When someone Abuses us and we Remember, once we get past the Shame, we Want Revenge.  We’ll Forgive eventually (even though that Feels Impossible most of the time), but we Want some kind of Compensation for having Endured that.  It Ruined our Life after all.  But here’s the Secret – Revenge will be so much more Successful if you’re no longer Attached or Identified with your Rage.  Sure, Living Well is the Best Revenge, and that may be the Choice you make.  But even if you Decide that you do want Payback, you’ll be able to exact a finer torture if you’re Neutral.

Remember, Karma is Inertia, not Retribution.  It’s Force of Habit, continuing to Choose an old Habit because it’s the Easiest thing to do – Automatic, in fact.  That’s why we need Consciousness to Abandon our Karma, because we have to Notice it before we can Change it.  Hard to Notice what’s Automatic.  So we aren’t talking about accumulating “Bad Karma” for exacting Revenge.  We’re talking about Teaching someone a Lesson they won’t Forget. 

So what if they’re Old now; we take our Karma with us to Other Lifetimes, so they’ll continue to Abuse if they don’t Learn their Lesson.  They need to be able to Notice what it feels like to be Abused, and they need to Realize that Other People aren’t their Property to be used as toys.  Once you’ve Let Go of your Rage, you’ll be able to plan an exquisite curriculum for them.  Dull blades are Harder to Ignore.  As they say, Forgive the Person, not the Behavior.  But first you have to show them that the two are Different.  As long as they’re Unconscious, the Behavior is the Person.

Now, about Forgiveness.  Like any other sort of Consciousness, Forgiveness isn’t a Decision, it’s a Discovery.  One day we just Notice that we don’t hold ill will against them any more.  Yes, we can make a Choice to Forgive – it’s just a PIAVA, but that’s really a Choice to enter into the process of Forgiving.  It’s unlikely to take you to Forgiveness straightaway, unless you were ready anyway. 

We always need to “Be Careful What We Ask For,” or better yet, “Be Mindful of What We’ve Asked For,” so we can monitor and Interpret the Funhouse-Mirror events that PIAVAs can Create when we aren’t quite ready to Receive them.  Like getting sicker initially after we Ask for Healing – we Feel sicker, so we take more of the Toxins that were making us sick.  Or finding Abuse Memories arising after we Ask for Healing of our Abuse.  No, it don’t Feel good, but we have to get them into Consciousness in order to Change them.  If we aren’t Aware of the way Consciousness arrives, we can easily tie ourself in knots.

Now, how are we likely to Experience an OR10-Nessus-Moira-Venus-Mercury faux Initiation, because that’s probably what much of November 10-20 will Feel like?  Well, put all the terms in a sentence.  Invasive Memories, Abuse, Choice, Values, Awareness.  Maybe something like Becoming Aware that we have Choice around the Values that we Created for ourself as a result of early Abuse that we now Remember?  Or becoming Aware that we have Repressed Memories of Abuse, and Choosing to Alter our Values to make room for their Recovery?

 

The Full Moon on the Cusp of Gemini follows closely, on 22 November (9:30 pm PST), and Neptune Stands Still shortly after that, on 25 November (5pm PST) at the Midpoint of Pisces.  The Cusp of Gemini is the quintessential point of Letting Go.  Neptune is a Powerful planet, so we’re likely to begin to Feel some Neptune Energy before we’re done with our Big Challenge.  The most Important thing to Remember about Neptune is that it renders the Material World Confusing. 

It also adds Clarity to our view of the Spiritual World, but that Confusion is what we want to Pay Attention to here, because Confusion is the First Sign of Growth, and Growth is what we want.  But, we have to Avoid reacting to Confusion by trying to “Figure It Out.”  If we Intellectualize it, we will Restrict our Growth to Zero, because it’s our Intellectual Cage that Constrains our Limited World View and with it our Limited Reality. 

Confusion is one of the most Precious and Powerful Gifts we’ll ever be Given; don’t spoil it by Thinking it out of Existence.  Relish it.  Be Excited by it.  Breathe, do Kegels.  Don’t Tap Out your Confusion; Tap out your Need to Intellectualize your Confusion.

“Even though I’m really tempted to make up Stories that can Rescue me from Feeling Confused, I deeply and completely Love and Accept myself…”  We can’t Tolerate Confusion because it takes us back to when we weren’t Safe, when someone who was supposed to Love us was Abusing us, and it didn’t make sense, and we had to Figure Out how to Escape.  It was a matter of Life and Death.

Like Curiosity, one of our highest Priorities should be Allowing Confusion to be an Emotion that Stands on its own.  A Real Emotion doesn’t have a direct or indirect Object.  It’s “I Feel Angry,” not “I Feel Angry about…” or “-at.”  Feelings are Intransitive, if you know your grammar rules.  The modifiers we so often put on our Feeling-words take them out of the realm of Emotion and put them in the realm of Thought.  The “-about” and “-at” and other Object-like additions are Thoughts, not Feelings.

In Truth, because we’re so seldom in the Present Moment, and because we aren’t Omniscient, we never actually know the Sources of our Emotions.  We Feel Angry.  Period.  We don’t know Why.  We can know what Triggered our Anger, maybe, if we’re Aware of what transpired just before we Felt it.  But even that just tells us what the Trigger was, not the Cause.  We might be Angry because an Unconscious Abuse Memory was just Triggered, and maybe the actual Triggering was a brown coat. 

Sure, we can make up Stories about the person who was wearing the brown coat, to Imagine that they were doing all manner of awful things to us, because our Unconscious Memory is about all manner of awful things.  But they’re Innocent.  Even the Antichrist is Innocent.  We have no idea who in our Personal or Cultural or Karmic History he reminds us of.  Pontius Pilate perhaps, or Brad the Impaler, or Adolf Hitler.  For many of us, those Concentration Camps and Death Chambers are a very recent Memory, even in Linear Time.

I was born nine months to the day after the Firebombing of Hamburg.  I didn’t even know Hamburg was Firebombed until I looked up when Dresden was Firebombed because I was wondering why my teachers always said that my German accent sounded so authentic and because I used to paint pictures of cities on fire and because I used to have so many Memories and Experiences of No Way Out.  And then there was the Firebombing of Tokyo – look that one up.  Not to mention Vietnam. 

See, what’d I tell you, Abuse Memories already.

17.12 Abuse V

December 15, 2016

Some folks get their info straight from the Stars, no interpretation necessary…

http://www.sophialove.org/my-blog/as-we-shift-partial-disclosure-25-reasons-to-just-say-no 

http://upliftconnect.com/marrying-the-land/

And as is often the case, thanks to https://bluedragonjournal.com/ for the links.

Abuse IV: Overload II

December 15, 2016

As you send Energy to “somewhere that you know it is needed,” you may also want to be Selective, choosing destinations for your Energy that Feel like they are part of your own Mission on the Planet, and that Feel Safe for your own current Dance between Ego and Consciousness.  When you send Energy, you Connect, and the flow runs both ways, which can easily amp up the Energy – and the Overload – even more.  If you aren’t sure, Ask for Guidance.  

Ego Death is Ego Death, we don’t usually have a Choice about its Timing, only about how we Respond to it.  But pushing ourselves to do more than we can handle at the moment, risks backlash that can actually increase our Limiting Beliefs.  “Safety First” is an element of Self-Care that may Limit us in the short run, but will probably Expand us more in the long run.  It may feel like next week will be too late for our Actions to have impact, but Linear Time is actually malleable; you have Choices that the Linear Time Trance doesn’t want you to have.

Seventh Harmonic Timing – Don Juan’s “Saving your Energy” in Castaneda’s telling, is prominent in December.  There are Moments when we can Change the World with the wave of a hand – the rest of the Time we’re just bashing our heads on a brick wall.  One of the most Powerful things we can Learn here is how to use this sort of Timing.  The Seventh-Harmonic elements of the 17.12 Portal have to do with

  • (1) Setting Boundaries to Protect Obedience to your Soul from Archetypes
  • (2) Carefully Choosing the “Battles” that are “Yours”
  • (3) Learning where You the Individual Ends and You the Artifice of your Culture begins – you want to Align You the Individual with what you Want your Culture to become rather than what your Culture has been

I was planning to leave these out, as it seemed like we already had plenty going on, but here they are, forcing their way into our Consciousness!

There are two “Septile Wedges” and one Quintile Yod in the 17 December Nessus-OR10 chart.  A “Septile Wedge” is planet1 Septile planet2 Biseptile planet3 Triseptile planet 1, forming a thin wedge across one half of the Wheel.  It’s a Timing Opportunity and more importantly, a Timing Teaching.  The Quintile Yod is a third planet at the Far Midpoint between two planets joined by a Quintile.  It’s a Learning Opportunity about the role of the third planet.  The Septile Wedges are…

(1) Uranus (True Self) Biseptile Vesta (Unconscious Beliefs) Triseptile Mars-Pallas (Active Boundaries) Septile Uranus… 

The Timing is Right to Surround ourself and our Self with a Veil that is impermeable to Limiting Beliefs that inhibit our Growth in Consciousness, but permeable to Habit Patterns that Serve our Mission.

(2) Saturn (The Most Important Thing) Biseptile North Node (our Mission) Triseptile Venus (our Values)… 

The Timing is Right to Shift our Values so they no longer Support Protection from our Held Emotions, and instead Support What We Came Here To Do.

And the Quintile Yod is…

(3) Focused on Vesta (Inherited Beliefs) from Sun (our Essence) Quintile Neptune (our Culture)… 

A Portal is Open which will Allow us to Learn to Shift the Unconscious Archetypes that Drive our Actions and Values and Words away from those which Support our Limiting Cultural Norms, to those which Support the Development of our Unique Genius.  We’re dealing with the Unconscious, so we don’t Shift anything with thought; we Shift the Unconscious with PIAVAs.

The Changes we’re in are huge; be sure to append “Lovingly and Gently” to all your PIAVAs, and PIAVA that you be well Supported Economically and Emotionally during disruptive Transitions.  You may even want to consider an Emotional Support Duck, especially one that lays Eggs…

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/animalia/wp/2016/10/20/daniel-the-emotional-support-duck-takes-his-first-plane-ride-soars-in-popularity/?utm_term=.2f8044584a30

Abuse IV: Overload

December 15, 2016

I’ll spare you a catalog of specific reasons, but after taking the first hour of my day to ground the Fear in my body, and then scanning the news, I’m realizing (as if it was a secret – I’m just a little slow generalizing!) that the international economic and political and military situation is a huge part of this whole Trauma-Drama of Power-Over and Abuse.  

Here’s a fabulous, oh-so-timely suggestion, from…

https://newsununity.com/2016/12/15/the-arcturiansbeing-conduits-for-energy/

“You are accessing more energy now than ever before, and that energy is of a very high frequency, especially for your physical bodies to handle.  So by opening yourself to receive and allowing the energy to flow, you are actually summoning more.  And the more energy you allow to flow, the greater your ability to create.

“Giving the energy somewhere to go is also an important part in the process.  If you cannot figure out where you want to flow the energy that is coming to you and moving through you, we suggest that you simply send it somewhere that you know it is needed.

If there is nothing that you feel passionate about, or that you can  imagine creating, then flow your energy towards someone, or a group of people, who are asking but not receiving.  You become aware of these people all the time through your media and through your social media.

Portal 17.12 and Abuse II

December 14, 2016

Reader Eliza Ayres, author of  https://bluedragonjournal.com/ , responds…

This is a perfect description of events that took place in my own experience this past year.  Fortunately, I saw through the abuse, realized that I needed to separate from the perceived abuser, work through the issues that I had reacted to (low-self esteem, financial insecurity, anxiety over an indeterminate “future” etc) and recognize that the only one I could work on was myself.  

“So I did… and have emerged a new being, filled with a greater compassion, not only for myself but others.  I have forgiven the abuser, but they are no longer a part of life, by mutual choice.  I hope this article aids others to focus on self-healing and self-care so that they, too, can arrive at new understandings of the complicated release of old energies involves.  This is not a case of the present being a continuation of past abuse; more it was time for me to clear the emotions that came up, which had been long suppressed.  

“I could handle the situation now without coming to physical harm.  The pain involved was not long-lived, at least on my side; I’m not responsible for how the other individual involved has handled anything that came up for them.  Now when things come up in my life, I attempt to look at them from a more neutral point-of-view, so I can study the emotions and thoughts… allow them to move through without clinging to them and recreating pain long forgotten and dissolved.  Thanks for writing this!”

“When you are able to begin to heal from abuse, which can also be self-abuse, you need to recognize that the abuser has been a teacher or mentor on your journey.  They have aided in bringing to light that which needs to shift in your life, whether you need to embark on a physical healing regime, to release long-held emotions and thought patterns that no longer have any relevance in your current circumstances or to simply let go of anything and everything that is holding your ability to be happy, despite appearances.  

“Being grateful, forgiving the abuser and learning from the experience, gaining good boundaries and re-discovering the beauty, grace and potential that exists within yourself will aid in healing old wounds, whether physical, mental or emotional or all three.  It is a return to Wholeness which is required before one can fully embark or continue on their journey.”

Portal 17.12 and Abuse

December 14, 2016

Remembering that our Purpose here (and probably the only thing we can do) in this Time-Space is to Let Go of our Held Emotions – our historical Pain – so it no longer Creates Self-Sabotage as we try to Manifest a Life we Love on a Planet infused with Love and Support and Community and Collaboration and Praise, we’re entering several days where what’s in our face is Abuse.  If this has already been going on for you, no surprise, as we’ve actually been doing this since early 2015.

Let’s start with some definition.  Whenever someone speaks to you using “You-Statements” and they aren’t praising your Brilliance, Gorgeousness, Talent, and Fabulosity, that’s Abuse.  Obviously, there are much more blatant and serious forms of Abuse, mostly having to do with Power-Over.  A significant tell is that it Hurts you, but that’s not always obvious.  The other side of the Abuse Coin is Privilege – the other person Believes they have the right to Abuse you, possibly even “for your own good” – Power-Over.  If you grant them the Privilege to Power-Over you, then Hurt may not be as Clear.  Teasing is a good example – Teasing is Abuse where the rules of the game are that you’re supposed to play along with the Abuse.

Now, on a Free-Will Planet such as ours, no one can actually ever Hurt you; it’s a Choice you make, to indulge your Hurt Feelings.  And virtually every time you are Hurt, the other person’s Remarks or Actions are actually Triggers for your own Held Emotions.  That’s actually a good thing, because the only thing we have the Power to Change is Ourself.  We can’t Change the Perp, nor would we Want to, because that would be Powering-Over their Choices.  We definitely want to drastically Change the circumstances of our Relationship with them, but all of the Levers and Dials for that process are within Ourself.

That does NOT mean that the Abused is to Blame or Responsible for Past Abuse that has happened TO them.  Remember that Blame looks to the Past to assign Who Did What, while Responsibility looks to the Future to assure that Nobody Does That Kind of Thing to Us Again.  Blame will Manifest only more Abuse.  Anger is something else; in our Anger at being Abused we will, Hopefully, go through a phase where we are Blaming our Abusers.  I say Hopefully because we don’t want to Blame ourself instead.  Let’s unwrap that.

I am Angry at the person who Abused me.  I’m also Angry at myself for Letting it happen again.  We have to do two things with this Anger.  First, it’s the fuel for setting up a Protection from our Abuser.  It doesn’t matter whether they’re to Blame as the Perp, or if they innocently stepped on our sore toe.  We need to Protect ourself from them.  Later we can reconsider whether or not we have Forgiven them.  For now, Safety First.  Only when we’re Safe can we look at ourself to see how we can convert that Anger at ourself into Self-Care.

Forgiveness isn’t a Decision, it’s a Discovery.  We can Actively Intend to Forgive someone, but Forgiveness doesn’t actually happen until it does, in its own Time.   First we set Effective Boundaries against the alleged Perp, then, once we’re Safe, we Explore our own part in the Drama.  Abuse is a Dance, and it takes two (at least).  We talked a little about all this before, at https://astrobuss.wordpress.com/2016/10/17/power-under/ , the last time we encountered this 17.12 Energy.  “You poor Sweetheart, you’re really Feeling Hurt and Abused here, aren’t you” would be a good place to start.  That would put you in Compassion toward yourself.  Compassion toward your Abuser comes much later, if it comes at all.

This is really a Test of your Skill at Discerning Blame from Responsbility.  If you have to start with “You poor Sweetheart, you’re Blaming yourself here, aren’t you” that’s fine; just do whatever you need to do to avoid Self-Blame.  There is no exit from Self-Blame.  Stepping out of that dead-end is the first task, and you may just need to PIAVA it.  Blame in general is a sealed Universe, and it’s very difficult to see out of it.  We could go on at length, but I hope this gives you enough clues to take your next step; let me know if you feel stuck or have questions; I’ll do my best to find time to Respond.  I’ll treat all comments on this Confidentially.

For now, the Bottom Line is that We’re Finished With This Abuse Energy.  Yes, it will be in our face until 17 December, but this is the Confidence-Builder phase of this astroevent.  When we first encounter an astroEnergy, especially if it’s one we don’t encounter often (or ever in the current Lifetime), we’re caught off guard and it opens a Can of Worms, or often, of Snakes.  We call that first event a Can-Opener.  Many astroevents recur several times; we refer to the intermediate events as Expositions, because each one Exposes more about our Reaction to the Can-Opener.  By the time we get to the last event of the series, provided our Objective has been to Expand our Consciousness, we’re fully trained, and the last recurrence is in fact a Confidence-Builder.

This astroevent is the Initiation of Nessus (Abuse and Privilege) by OR10 (Irruption of Unconscious Contents).  The Initiation itself took place in May 2015, at 4 Pisces, “Heavy traffic on a narrow spit linking two seaside resorts.”  The image is full of Emotional Loading (Seaside), Karmic history (heavy traffic), doorways (narrow spit), Either/Or Duality (two) and the ultimate promise of being able to Let Down our Guard Safely (resorts).  The Expositions were June 2015, January 2016, and September 2016).

The current Confidence-Builder occurs at 3 Pisces, “Petrified tree trunks like broken on desert sand” – our Abuse Archetypes have been broken and left to ossify.

Nessus-OR10 is at the focus of a Finger of God from Vesta (Archetypes) and Makemake (Manifestation) – If we want to Manifest Free of Self-Sabotage, we have to Pay Attention to Abuse and Privilege.  Vesta is also the focus of a Quintile Yod from the Sun and Neptune – We’re Learning here about our Karmic Unconscious Limiting Beliefs.

It also Trine-Bridges (Provides an Easy Path to Mastery) a Makemake T-Square across the Opposition between Hylonome (Letting Go of Archetypes) and Atropos (Endings) – that sounds pretty self-explanatory!

And it makes a Trioctile Bridge (Epiphany) to a Pluto (Trance Re-Formation) T-Square on the Jupiter-Mnemosyne (Memories up in our Face) Opposition – also pretty self-explanatory!  For emphasis, and to assure that we Understand what’s going on, Mercury (mentality) is Stationary (Strong) on Pluto.

While this is happening, between the Ides of December and the Solstice, the Sun is being Initiated by the Ixion-Pholus-Quaoar-Galactic Center Stellium, which we’ll talk about separately, as it gives us a whole new Perspective on Responsibility.

Varuna (the Life Force) also just re-entered Cancer (Nurturance) after dipping His toe into the Leo (Confidence) Ocean between mid-September and mid-December.   It returns to Leo next July for another dip, but doesn’t enter Leo for good till June 2018.

We’ll come back to these Trauma-Dramas just before Christmas, but when they hit then, rest assured it’ll be only a glancing blow meant to demonstrate how good your new Armor is.  We’ll also get some excellent training in Setting Boundaries against Abuse 5-9 January.

Nessus and OR10 both Initiate Mars on 23 December, in the Broken Trees Degree, and Initiate Pallas 6-9 January.  Pallas-OR10 occurs in the Broken Trees Degree, while Pallas-Nessus occurs in the Heavy Traffic Degree.

Anti-Life Beliefs 2

October 24, 2016

Before we talk more about the chart of the Varuna-Vesta Initiation, let’s add a few relevant astroevents to the timetable…

  • 9am PDT 19 October – asteroid Moira Opposes Varuna
  • 2pm PDT 22 October – Moon crosses Vesta-Varuna
  • 6pm PDT 22 October – Varuna Initiates Vesta at 1 Leo, “irruption of bio-psychic energies into the ego-controlled field of consciousness” (Rudhyar)
  • 1am PDT 23 October – Sun Squares Varuna

The Sun (Essence) heads a T-Square (Mastery through Challenge) across the Opposition between Varuna and Moira (Fate).

  • 11am PDT 30 October – New Moon at 8 Scorpio
  • 4pm PDT 30 October – Varuna turns Retrograde at 1 Leo
  • 31 October – Hylonome Sextiles Nessus, base of a Finger of God to Vesta-Varuna
  • 2pm PDT 1 November – asteroid Atropos turns Retrograde at 11 Cancer

Asteroid Atropos symbolizes Endings.  It makes a Grand Trine with the New Moon and Neptune-South Node.  Hylonome also represents Separation from Archetypes, echoing our Cellular-level Clearing and the Demise of Abusive Cultures.

The simultaneous New Moon will extend the impact of the Varuna-Vesta Initiation for several weeks.  The New Moon is not within Sensitivity range of the Initiation to make an impact on our day-to-day Experience.  However, the correspondence in time with the Varuna Station is.  And if we read this as the birth chart for the New Selves we are rebirthing – minus some very ancient Cellular Programming – the New Moon Squares (Mastery through Challenge) the Initiation.

  • 6 November – Hylonome Sextiles OR10, base of a Finger of God to Vesta-Varuna
  • 6pm PST 9 November – Nessus Initiates Nemesis at 3 Pisces, Desertification
  • 11am PST 11 November – OR10 Initiates Nemesis at 3 Pisces
  • 6am PST 14 November – Nessus turns Direct at 3 Pisces
  • 6pm PST 19 November – OR10 turns Direct at 3 Pisces

These astroevents tie our earlier Revolution against Abuse and Privilege to the current Cleansing of Genetic and Epigenetic Cellular toxins.  So we can expect that these “Nasty Women,” as Elizabeth Warren puts it, are just getting started.  And we can expect that Trump’s faux Revolution against the Corporatocracy is just getting started as well.  Now all we need to do is Manifest a cadre of non-Sexist non-Racist pro-Huper pro-Earth center-left politicos to take over from the ‘Rump’s right-wing sanguine- napes.

Moira is a group name for the three Fates – cloth-cutting Klotho, length-measuring Lachesis, and chord-snipping Atropos.  All four of the corresponding eponymous asteroids are involved here, suggesting that this is no surprise to Whomever has planned all this.

  • Moira Opposes Vesta-Varuna
  • Klotho Conjoins Haumea (Rebirth), Opposite Uranus-Eris (Yintegrity), implying that our Intentions here will have a lot to do with how our Future unfolds
  • Lachesis is traveling with Nessus and OR10, implying that Abuse and Privilege can expire
  • Atropos is Stationary on the Day of the Dead (what a Coincidence!), Opposite Saturn, implying that if we’re Clear about What We Want, Endings can be Clean

More to follow.

Power-Under

October 17, 2016

Just in case you (or someone you know, like your kids) haven’t noticed, it’s important to realize that the whole fracas about Trump’s inappropriate Sexual advances isn’t about Sex, it’s about Power.  The best “textbook” I’ve ever read about Power is Starhawk’s Truth or Dare: Encounters with Power, Authority, and Mystery.  She sharply distinguishes Power-Over, which is Trump’s Patriarchic style (on most issues, so far as I’ve seen, not just Sexual issues), from Power-With, which is the Yang-Feminine replacement, which trades Collaboration and Equality for the Patriarchy’s Competition and Hierarchy.

Starhawk doesn’t specifically address what we might call Power-Under – the Learned (and probably also Evolutionary) Skill at “sucking up” to the perpetrators of Power-Over.  In Western Culture, at least in America, most of us have at least some Skill at that, or we’d be long since dead or in jail or both, or racing our Thunderbird off the edge of the Grand Canyon.

Power-Under is still a necessary Skill, when used Consciously.  It becomes self-abuse when used Unconsciously or Compulsively.  We can easily see how raising these issues into Consciousness is part of the Nessus-OR10 Conjunction around Irruption of Unconscious Contents dealing with Abuse and Privilege.

Nessus-OR10 is the focus of a long-lived Finger of God (Pay Attention!) from Varuna (the Life Force) and Makemake (Manifestation).  Venus (Values) makes a Waning Square (Let Go!) to Nessus-OR10 all week, and the Moon (Authenticity, Instinct) completes the T-Square today, 11:30am PDT, exactly as I write this (funny “coincidence,” eh?), plus or minus six hours for impact at three Degrees of Sensitivity.  

Karma (Inertia, Archetypes) Opposes Nessus-OR10 at Halloween – discourage the Trump masks if you can.  ‘Round about election day in the US, Nemesis (Consciousness of Self-Sabotage) makes a Waning Square (Let Go!) to Nessus-OR10.  Our “Saving Grace” is a persistent Sextile (Grace if we take the first step) from Hylonome (Becoming Conscious of and Grieving the Loss of Identification with Archetypes).

In the Trump/Patriarchy case, while it is certainly Abuse to his victims, the Power issue is really about Privilege.

The best “textbook” I’ve ever read about Healing Habitual Power-Under is Ellen Bass and Laura Davis’s The Courage to Heal: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse.  There’s no way its wisdom is limited to women, however, and the authors’ Workbook specifically includes men.  Leafing through it I can find a dozen quotations that would be perfectly apt, but they’d be pages long.  Bear in mind that Sexual Abuse need not be personal; to find your own True Self you may need to Heal the scar tissue within you from the Abuse your Grandmother endured, and undoubtedly never shared with anyone (“If you tell anyone I will kill you”).  As Native Americans say, we are Responsible to the Seven Generations Before us and to the Seven Generations After us.

After The Courage to Heal, the next step is Julie Henderson’s The Lover Within: Opening to Energy in Sexual Practice, which is only about Sexual Practice in the sense that Everything is really just sublimated Sex, because as Julie makes clear, Sex and the Life Force are the same Energy.  The book is about Boundaries – monitoring your Auric Energy, Learning to modulate the Expansion (Jupiter) and Contraction (Saturn) – and Compression (Orcus?) of your Energy Field.  She mentions Sex – my copy eludes me at the moment, but one particularly Powerful quote you would get if I could find it deals with how Adults react to the natural Sexual Energy of a Child – often Repressively, out of their own Repression.