Self-Judgment and Self-Love V

If we temporarily de-emphasize the Grand Octile and just look at the same-Degree Angles to the Sappho Station…

…we can see that a Challenge around Action (Mars T-Square, the red triangle) pops out, and that Action is somehow an Easy Alternative (Trine Bridge, blue lines) to our Growing Pains (the Sappho-Jupiter Divide) and Spiritual Challenge (Neptune T-Square).  Before we sign up for a Yoga class (to Actively Stretch Into Expanded Self-Love) though, we may need to deal with the Action Challenge (Mars T-Square).

That Challenge is about how much we Realize that we have Choice (Moira) around the suggestion that The Most Important Thing (Saturn) is Transcending (Bee-Zed) our Need to Please Others (Hylonome).  Codependence is a very easily Defended excuse for postponing Self-Love because we were Programmed to Believe that Pleasing Others was Noble.  How old were we – maybe 2 or 3 – when we were taught to Share?

Which brings up an interesting point about those who never were taught to Share.  Could there be Epiphanies for them around their Control issues?  Probably not, but we can hope.

All of which suggests that perhaps we should Choose to Share more, with Trusted friends, around our closely held secrets and our most cherished possessions.  Boundaries are clearly involved in this Dance (Pallas-Haumea).  If there’s any Guilt (Nemesis) involved, Sharing more of ourself, when it’s Safe, would be even more Powerful.  And which suggests that it would behoove us to Stop Giving Away our Power, and Stop Giving Away anything else that Triggers our Scarcity but which we feel compelled to Share because we Should.  In fact, maybe…

The Bottom Line around Self-Love is always about Examining our “Shoulds.” 

Any discomfort in our Shoulders would underline that (Sappho Station in Gemini).  Then we can do that Yoga class (Saturn-BZ-Hylonome in Sagittarius) to start making it a Body Memory.

It may be useful to Remember that the Physical Dimension is just another Perspective on the Unitary Wholeness of Life, along with the Emotional, Spiritual, and Mental Perspectives.  Switching between these Perspectives – for instance, into the Physical to address an Emotional conundrum – often creates what appear to be Miracles.

The Call to Action (Mars T-Square) has two Easy Alternatives (Trine Bridges) – one to Breaking Oaths (Orcus) and one to Surrendering to Spirit (Neptune).  In fact the two of them make what’s called a Golden Rectangle (the big blue rectangle – it’s called “Golden” because the ratio between the long and short sides is the Golden Angle of Sacred Geometry fame).

We interpret a Golden Rectangle by Dancing with the diagonals.  We’ve already discussed the Choice-Shoulds (Moira v. Saturn-BZ-Hylonome) diagonal; the other is about Oaths and Sprituality (Orcus-Neptune).  The Key to this may simply be that Either/Ors are always Political; it’s Both/Ands that are Spiritual.  Sure, Religion can Inspire the Spiritual (Awe, Wonder, and Respect for All Things), but Religions, except in their Esoteric forms, usually boil down to a set of Rules, and often Require an Oath of Allegiance to these Either/Or Rules.

When we make a Promise or Vow or Oath that’s Either/Or, and if we don’t Betray it, we gradually Internalize it.  It becomes an Integral part of who we are, and we Accept it as a Value, forgetting that it derived not from the Heart but from the mind.  It becomes a Karmic Limitation for us in subsequent Lifetimes.  Stretching our Values (Venus-Jupiter) is part of the Sappho-Station/Total-Lunar-Eclipse Global Epiphany (Grand Octile).

Well, maybe not quite Global; the Eclipse is only visible from the Western Hemisphere, so maybe it’s Western Civilization and Colonial Supremacy that’s scheduled for Epiphany.

Truth Resides in the Compassionate Heart, not the Dualistic mind, and Truth is different for every person.  When we try to run our Life from Either/Or Values that we Learned from someone else, rather than from Both/And Values that we Discovered were True for us, we Live Falsely, constantly Betraying our True Self.  We’ll never find Self-Love there.

Heavy I

With so many planet clustering near the Midpoints of their Signs, the Full Moon features a couple of very large-scale  Configurations.  Let’s call the first one a Butterfly, in 17-20 Degrees.

To make a Butterfly, take a Quincunx Box – two Oppositions one Sign apart – and add a T-Square to each Opposition.  A Quincunx Box is driven by the Oppositions, but the foci of the T-Squares would obviously be dominating points as well, since they overlight the Oppositions.  Once we interpreted the T-Squares, we could say that the Quincunx between the two T-Square foci is the crux of the Butterfly Configuration.

The Oppositions are Jupiter-Chiron (Be Mindful that Discouragement doesn’t get Blown Up here; Witness and Embrace it, and it will be the Miracles that Explode instead) and Lilith-Uranus (How does your Olde Ego prevent your True Self from having Sovereignty over “You”?).  They’re joined by Unxes (Pattern-Breaking) and Quincunxes (Curiosity).  So we might see the Box as…

The Emotions may not seem straightforward here, but this Feels a lot more complicated than it really is.  What is it that your True Self wants, that You aren’t Allowing it to pursue?  The last thing we need is Confrontation between the Ego and the True Self – and at this time…

Because the Full Moon Opposing the OR10-Nessus Initiation will give anything Repressed a great deal of Power.  Even though it’s the True Self, it could easily arrive in the guise of a threatening intruder, if the Olde Ego isn’t willing to Grow on it’s own.  Remember that we’re rehearsing for an Eris-Uranus Initiation, where unflattering secrets will be thrown onto the table, in the effort to get us to clean up any unfinished Uranus-Pluto Yintegrity business.  Jupiter and Chiron are both about to Initiate the Nodes as well, so this is all about Karma and Mission – and Deepest Desires.

…this could easily be what occurs, if we don’t take steps to avoid it.  What steps?

Move to the Quincunxes – Lilith-Chiron and Jupiter-Uranus…

We don’t deal with the Unconscious using the same methodology we’d use to build a Fire or plant a Tree.  We don’t Act, we Allow.  We need PIAVA.  We need Questions on the order of…

Great Spirit, how might I Surrender Gracefully to my Higher Self, without being hijacked by my Fears and Discouragements?

I know, you were Programmed as a child to Believe that your Deepest Desires were Unholy, rather than urges from your Higher Self.  That’s the Programming we’re working with here, our Fears of Unholiness.  It’s called Karma.  Most of us also Learned that Karma can’t be Changed – hence our Discouragement.  That’s what we’re overcoming.

With dwarf planet Orcus Opposite the Neptune-Ceres Opposition, all of our Beliefs that our Deepest Desires are socially unacceptable are lit up.  With Asbolus T-Squaring this Opposition, however, Intuitions are available about how we can turn this around.  

It’s not a Question we’re seeking to Answer; it’s a Question we want to Forget for a while.  If our Ego or True Self don’t let us Forget, we need to patiently and persistently keep Changing the Subject.  Your Ego honestly doesn’t Know how to Answer it, and the mind can only screw things up more than they are; if the mind could Answer this Question, it would have done so a loooong time ago.  After a week or so, we can look back to see if the Great Spirit has provided any Insights.

T-Squaring the Lilith-Uranus Opposition is Pluto.  Transformation awaits us, and it’s not optional.  We will be operating more from our Self-Sovereignty in the Future.  What’s optional is how we handle the Egoic Disruption.  It might behoove to add a qualifier…

Great Spirit, how might I Surrender Gracefully to my Higher Self, Lovingly and Gently, without being hijacked by my Fears and Discouragements?

T-Squaring the Jupiter-Chiron Opposition is the dwarf planet Chaos (Unlimited Potential, not Disorder)…

The danger here is that we’ll be thinking waaay too small.  In fact, we shouldn’t be thinking at all – about solutions.  This would be an excellent time to fantasize.  Pull out all the stops.  What if anything you Want was easily within your grasp?  How would that Feel in your Body?  I know, you’d be bored to tears very quickly.  But how would it Feel for the first several years, while you were busy putting your Deepest Desires into motion, before you got jaded.  

And what about the belt, that big Pluto-Chaos Quincunx from wingtip to wingtip?  

We’re almost guaranteed to get Out of Control here.  When we do, we have to go with it.  Like turning into a skid on an icy road.  If our Actions or Words are Out of Control, once we realize it, we don’t need to keep “making it worse.”  But if our Emotions get Out of Control, it’s all the more important that we Witness and Embrace them.  Once we Witness them we can step back into them and Experience what it’s like to go Beyond ourself.  Not while operating machinery of course.  In meditation.

The Butterfly also features two Major Tricolors…

In this case Pluto-Square-Uranus-Quincunx-Jupiter-Trine-Pluto, for which our earlier Question about Surrendering Gracefully would work, and Chaos-Square-Chiron-Quincunx-Lilith-Square-Chaos…

If being Out of Control is Discouraging to us, we can PIAVA something like…

I wonder how I can Shift my Perspective to emphasize my Self-Sovereignty – if I had to please only Myself, I wonder how that would Change things.

Again, this is not a Wondering in search of an Answer; it’s an invitation for a Miracle to enter, once you’re looking the other way.  

The model for these PIAVAs is finding your car keys.  If you find them “where you last had them,” fine, no worries, no need for PIAVA.  If they went Walkabout, you need to Ask for them, then Change the Subject, put your mind and attention on something else entirely.  Next thing you know, you’ll find them in the Butter dish when you go to Butter your Happy Camper Organic Gluten-Free Toast.  If they aren’t there, keep Changing the Subject.

If they don’t eventually jump out at you, you’ll need to Pay Attention.  What did happen?  You had to call a colleague and ask for a ride to work?  How is that related to your car keys?  Does your job excite your True Self?  And how is it related to your Self-Sovereignty?  If you had to please only yourself, would this be the job you’d choose?  Some things aren’t easy to Change with Force; we may need Power instead.

This Pattern gets even more interesting if we drop down to include 16 Degrees.  We add Saturn, which Opposes Chaos and turns our Chaos T-Square into a Grand Cross.  Then we look at the Midpoint of Leo, and find the asteroids Klotho and Sappho, completing the Grand Trine with Saturn and Uranus, and making a Lilith Kite.  Klotho and Sappho together cut a new cloth for your Life, Singing the Praises of Love.  

There’s also a Klotho-Sappho Yod, on a base of the Chiron-Pluto Sextile.  Sextiles mean we need to take the first step, and it needs to be Witnessing any Discouragement that may arise.  “You poor Sweetheart, you’re Feeling Discouraged, aren’t you.”

We may also need to remember that Witnessing is Magic.  If “I’m Discouraged,” then I’ve Changed my name and Identity.  This is Identity Self-Theft, and it can be as difficult to Recover from.  If “I Feel Discouraged,” then I’m Experiencing an Emotion.  You’ll seldom be Out of Control under “I Feel”; you could easily be Out of Healthy Control under “I am.”  By itself, Witnessing is what Einstein was referring to when he said that we can never solve a problem using the same thinking that postulated the problem.

When we add Empathy to Witnessing – not just “I Feel,” but “You poor Sweetheart, you Feel,” we’ve shifted our Identity again, and our Identity is now Compassion, Compassion for ourself.  Eugene Gendlin wrote the ground-breaking book Focusing; in his PhD thesis he showed that it doesn’t so much matter what techniques you use for Healing, what matters is the presence or absence of Empathy.  Empathy Heals.

After shifting from I am to I Feel and adding You poor Sweetheart, it’s again time to Change the Subject, while we wait for Miracles.  As with PIAVA, if you don’t Change the Subject, you’ll keep looking at the same-old same-old, using the same thinking that created the problem.  At this point mind is not your helper, and it needs to be assigned elsewhere.  

While the realm of Possibility under I am and even I feel is Constrained, the realm of Possibility under You poor Sweetheart is Unlimited.  Once you Change the Subject, the Universe is a different place.  If you want you can look back later and see what happened that wasn’t originally possible, but you probably won’t.  You’ll be too busy Enjoying your new Universe.  No matter; the only important things are to Witness, Embrace, and Change the Subject.

By the way, Uranus will probably remain Lit Up through at least June, and when Uranus is Lit Up it’s folly to try to control your Sleep Patterns.  As much as you can, Sleep or Nap when you’re Sleepy, and do something Fun when you aren’t.  You’ll get a lot more done that way, and what Sleep you do get, even if it’s less than you Expect to get, will be enough.  Uranus and Expectations aren’t very good bed partners.

 

More Timely Wisdom

More timely wisdom from Elder Mountain…

https://eldermountain.wordpress.com/2016/01/11/chaos-magik/

As the Nodes (with Jupiter on the North Node) are backing into a Grand Cross with the dwarf planets Chaos and Ixion, and Neptune Opposes the dwarf planet Orcus, on 13 January, a few days hence.

A Grand Cross is formed when four planets are equally spaced around the Zodiac.  It’s like four T-Squares (Mastery through Challenge), except it’s Balanced, so it ends up being “just” Busy – lots of little Fires to put out, so we don’t have the luxury or the time to dwell on how imperfect it all Feels, like we do with a T-Square.  We’re so Busy multitasking that we get to Feel some degree of temporary Satisfaction from finding a series of adequate solutions that suffice for the short term.

The Nodes of course indicate what we’re doing here; the South Node where we came from, and the North Node where we’d like to go.  Of course All There Is Is Now, so the Nodes flip a lot…

Turns out we need to Let Go of the Held Emotions or Past-Life PTSD that our South Node represents, in order to Recover the Past Life Skills that are necessary to resolve the issues that stand between us and our destination, and realize our Mission for the Lifetime.

And as our CAO (Chief Asteroid Officer) points out, the asteroid Karma (the Inertia Created by Our Held Emotions) is approaching the dwarf planet Eris (Revelation of What’s Being Denied), crossing it on 18 January.  However, this is a Confidence-Builder crossing.  The Can-Opener occurred 8 October 2015, and the Exposition 30 December.

With Jupiter on the North Node, we’re hearing a Siren Song from our Mission…  

Our intuitive grasp of our “Real” Mission changes as we raise our Frequency to encompass more of the Universe.  Seeing as we do through a glass darkly, it really is a Siren Song that we’re hearing, tempting us to toss ourself into the morass of our Current Desires, rather than lose our current Ego in prayer that we may Embrace more of its True Meaning.

Which dilemma is also being lit up by an impending Initiation of Mars (Self-Assertion) by Juno (the Edges of Consciousness) that’s complete on 24 January.  

The dwarf planet Chaos represents Unlimited Potential – it’s the Zero Point Field or “Vacuum” that existed before Zeus and the Patriarchy “Created” “Order.”  In the Quantum World, “Reality” is indeterminate till it’s not.  (Or as they say, indeterminate till it’s Witnessed, but that’s incredibly anthropomorphic.)  Chaos is what you haven’t Manifested yet.

Ironically, the Greek version of Vesta was the Goddess of the Hearth, Hestia, and the ancient Greeks toasted Hestia before they toasted Zeus, and after they toasted Zeus.  They were smart enough to honor what really mattered while propping up the male Ego.  Vesta – Unconscious Belief – guards the Edges of Chaos, to keep too many Demons and Daemons and Diamonds from breaking through the Veil.  

This week’s Neptune-Orcas Opposition chart includes a Vesta Yod based on the Sextile between Mars-Juno and Orcas.

The dwarf planet Ixion represents our Pathological Genius.  Ixion was the male figure that ignored Zeus’s Rules of Order, and pursued his Desires without thought of Consequences.  Ixion is our feral unprogrammed Inner Child.  

Underneath our Programming we are all Mozarts and Einsteins and Jeannes d’Arc and Queen Victorias – we have an irrepressible Destiny that was not crushed by our Programming, only driven into the Unconscious.  Our Programming relegated our Genius to the realm of the Pathological – we were Punished and Shamed for it.  

No Blame here; this is how Consciousness grows.  As we Create Security we also Create boredom, so we seek the Light by venturing forth into the Wilderness.  Soon we’re Lost, and have to find our way back “Home.”  Then we rinse and repeat.  On the scale of a Lifetime, our Programmers are chosen to set up ways for us to get Lost that will cause us eventually to remember our Mission.  We are each puzzle pieces in a multibillion-piece puzzle, and like one of Gollum’s riddles, the puzzle will be “solved” when we all Embrace our Pathological Genii.

Putting all this together, we can expect that for most of January we’ll be rushing about putting out Karmic Fires.  If these take the form of rescuing anyone from their Pain, don’t waste the Mirror.  External hardcopy “Reality” is no different from our Dreams.  It all has something to do with what we’re bringing into Consciousness, though seldom in a straightforward manner.  

As I’ve done many times, I recommend Eugene Gendlin’s excellent book, Let Your Body Interpret Your Dreams.  It’s a collection of clever techniques for coaxing Meaning from your Dreams non-intellectually, and can very productively be used to coax Meaning from your daily adventures in the “Real” Hologram as well.  As an example, he recommends avoiding polarity flip-flops – when you Decide that a Change is necessary, don’t jump from Black to White; instead, shift to a 90%-saturated grey.  Our Symbols are road signs, not airports.

There are directions in our Life that have Unlimited Potential, and Embracing – Witnessing – our Shame and Fear of Punishment, can Create major leaps in that direction.  “You poor Sweetheart, they really Shamed you for that, didn’t they.”  By noticing that we’re in Shame or Fear and Lovingly Witnessing it, we stop being Shame or Fear, and instead become Compassion.

So our January will include glimpses of the Unlimited – like a billion-dollar lottery.  Then we’ll recall our humdrum daily life and how seldom we’ve Created real Miracles, dismiss the Dream, and fade back into worrying about the mortgage.  Then our Desires will rise up, and we’ll Fantasize doing what will Really make us come Alive, till our Held Emotions make us realize how incredibly uncomfortable we’d be if we actually came close to indulging that Fantasy.  

This is January’s Grand Cross.  We’re there already, aren’t we.  Celebrate it!  Embrace each glimpse of the Unlimited.  PIAVA it!  Make it BIG.  If we all had to split that lottery, we’d still have more money than we’ve ever dreamed of having.  We could all win!  

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.  We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?  Actually, who are you not to be?  You are a child of God.  Your playing small does not serve the world.

“There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.  We are all meant to shine, as children do.  We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.  It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.  And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.  As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”  (Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love, pp.190-191)

Notice when you return to worrying about the mortgage, or cancer, or whether Aunt Charlene was insulted, or anything else, Cancel-Neutralize-Upgrade, and Tap it out.  Tap on it till you’re Neutral about it.  

When your Forbidden Desire wells up, Celebrate the Excitement trapped in it.  A secret to Manifesting anything is to practice having the Feeling in your Body, that you’ll have when you Manifest it.  That’s what you really want!  You’ll get bored with a red Lamborghini, or scared by a trip around the World; you’ll never be bored or scared by Excitement.  Get Conscious of the Discomfort you’d feel if your Fantasy Materialized.  “You poor Sweetheart, you’d really Feel uncomfortable, wouldn’t you.  Do you want to talk about it?”  Ask yourself how old you are.

Neptune represents everything bigger than our Individual Soul – the Collective Culture, and its many Shadows.  When we try to look at Neptune through Material eyes, the result is Confusion – which of course is the first stage of Growth in Consciousness.  Shifting to Spiritual eyes, we find Clarity.  Unfinished Business, and all of our Emotional Baggage around it.

Orcus is the Punisher of Broken Oaths.  

Your Held Emotions are Held by vows never to put yourself into that position again.  As with Ixion, where you may have Amends to make over Unintended Consequences of Impulsive Actions, with Orcus you may have Yangtegrity Contracts that need to be Renegotiated.  If your counterparties are long since dead or otherwise gone from your Life, no worries.  If you can feel the Weight of the Contract, you can feel the counterparty, and you can Renegotiate with them exactly where they are in your “mind’s eye” or your bellyvision.

This Renegotiation might take the form of noticing the cable or garden hose that connects you with them in the Energy Realm.  It’s connected to your belly by a fishhook.  Gently twist it out with one hand, then use your other hand to seal the wound with Golden Light.  With grace, hand the hook and the cable back to your counterparty.  If they accept it with equal Grace, you’re Golden, though you don’t want to turn your back until they withdraw.  Make a note to scan your Body in a few days to make sure the cable hasn’t been replaced while you weren’t looking.  If so, rinse and repeat.

If they don’t accept it Gracefully, you may need to take more decisive Action.  Enlist the aid of a Carnivore, then reach out with your imaginary Bowie Knife, slice their end of the cable, and feed the cable to your helper.  An Alligator works great for this purpose.  Give your new friend the assignment to stand guard here, and eat any new attempts to re-cable you.  They may also plead for Mercy; don’t buy it, it’s a ploy.  You want your Energetic Contracts to be Equal-to-Equal.  In these realms, keep your spine straight and your shoulders lifted.  There can be no hindrance to your Energetic Self-Sovereignty.

If your counterparties are still Alive, use your wardrobe Mirrors – see https://astrobuss.wordpress.com/2015/10/21/boundaries-forgiveness-mirrors/.  And remember to persevere.

So a Challenging Neptune-Orcus Angle would be about renegotiating our Social Contracts.

Our Social Contracts stretch a lot farther than we usually imagine.  For instance, if we’re chronically underfunded, we have a Social Contract to Give Away too much of what we need to Survive.  If our Relationships don’t Delight us, then we have a Social Contract of Mistrust or Unworthiness.  When we Renegotiate our Contracts, our counterparties may not be individuals, but Archetypes.  You may need to Renegotiate with Slavery, or Gender Inequality.

There’s an excellent reason why Primary Cultures personified their “Gods.”  If you personify an Archetype, you can Negotiate with it one-on-one.  You can shrink it from a Global Monolith to a Cocker Spaniel.  What if Gender Inequality was a Hamster, and Slavery was a Squirrel; you can personify them however you like, as long as your Vigilance prevents them from nesting in your petticoats.  Use your Mirror and Cable techniques till you stand Tall and Clear and Powerful Beyond Measure, and we can Enjoy the billion-dollar lottery payout together.