Lifespan of an Ego

The big event here is a Retrograde Station of asteroid Lachesis (Lak’-e-sis) on 28 April.  The Mythological Lachesis was one of the three Fates, the one who measured the span of a Life.  I’m guessing you’ve recently been busy revising your estimates of how long you may Live.

In this Shadow Period (the span of a Retrogradation) between 22 Sagittarius and 4 Capricorn that lasts until early August, Lachesis backs over Quaoar (Law-Giver), Pholus (Responsibility), the Galactic Center (Headquarters) and Ixion (Abandoned Genius).  It’s already crossed them once, and it will cross them thrice before we’re done.  The first crossing is called a “Can-Opener” because it often opens a Can of Worms you hadn’t been thinking about.

• The Lachesis-Ixion Can-Opener occurred on 27 February.  We were probably looking at Limitations in our Lives and Wondering how to Overcome them.
• The Lachesis-Pholus Can-Opener happened on 11 March, and was probably about Realizations that we can no longer ignore certain Self-Sabotaging elements in our approach to Life.
• The Lachesis-Quaoar Can-Opener was 18 March.  That was probably about revising our estimations of how long we can Survive on this Planet – collectively and individually – without extreme Changes to our Lifestyle and to our basic attitude toward the Soul of the Planet,

Check your journals.  The involvement of the Galactic Center makes these reconsiderations a great deal more consequential than they otherwise would be.  This section of the Zodiac – the end of Sagittarius – has been lit up strongly for several years, and not by accident.  This is the Scorpio zone (“Duad” in astrologuese) of Sagittarius, and the message is very clearly

What is it that I need to Let Go of, but which I’m clinging to so tightly?

It’s past time, Change is afoot, and your old approach won’t work any more, no matter how well it’s served you over the years.  Ask yourself that question, and reconsider the answer you’ve already rejected.  Or, if that’s not clear as a bell, omit the question mark and make it a Wondering, surrendering the question to your Intuition.  That’s a better approach anyway.

The Bottom Line is that it IS possible for us to reboot our Civilizations.  But we have to Listen to what’s really going on instead of gripping our Denial, we need to be Proactive about the Changes we need to make, and we need to Respect one another’s Unique Contributions, Trusting that their Intuition is correct for them, no matter how dumb it looks to us.  We look just as dumb to them, and ALL Contributions are necessary.

We could easily encounter major Ego Deaths here.  Remember to translate “It feels like I’m DYING!” to  “It feels like I’M dying.”  We cannot differentiate between “us” and our Ego – Ego Are Us.  So of course an Ego Death feels like a Physical Death.  But you’ll have thousands of Ego Deaths for every Physical Death, and the faster you can recognize that happening, the sooner you can begin constructively building a new Ego.  They aren’t optional.

When we talk about Ego we aren’t talking about being Selfish or Self-Absorbed.  We’re talking about our basic Survival Instinct.  We need enough Selfishness and Self-Absorption to keep ourself Safe, and to make sure that we always see ourselves as Worthy of Safety and Survival.  Those are critical distinctions; whenever you sense any Unworthiness in yourself around Safety and Survival, it’s a red flag to get Selfish and Self-Absorbed.  It’s not optional.

Lachesis has been within one Degree of its Station – in other words, basically Standing Still and therefore Strong – since 10 April.  If you aren’t a different person now than you were on 9 April, you will be soon.  Take it as an Opportunity.

Mercury is also turning Retrograde on 28 April.  It backs over asteroid Vesta (Unconscious Beliefs), giving us the opportunity to become Aware of our Limiting Beliefs.  Awareness is a prerequisite to Change.  Mercury’s Shadow Period is 15-24 Taurus and 28 April-22 May.  This section of Taurus (Scorpio through Aquarius Duads) is about re-examining what we’ve been Creating, and adapting it to the Good of All.  We can no longer afford Competition, lest we All go down fighting with one another.  Everything we do must now be Collaborative, and directed toward Sustainability.

Another Busy Weekend II

Whoo, feel that Anger out there already!  More than Mars-Plutos have supplied in recent years.  So let’s take each episode of our own Anger, and each episode of another’s Anger, as doorways to our own Denial.  K?

The Vesta-Mercury Initiation (Consciousness of Limiting Beliefs) Quincunxes Saturn (Focus), making two Tricolors in the process:

• Asteroid Klotho (Reboot) Square Vesta-Mercury Quincunx Saturn Trine Klotho
• Jupiter-North Node (Expanding our Sense of Mission and Desire) Square Saturn Quincunx Vesta-Mercury Trine Jupiter-North Node

We interpret a Tricolor by imagining what sort of Confusion or Frustration that the Square might cause, and postulating that if we formulate a Wondering or other PIAVA that expresses the Quincunx, then the Grace of the Trine will be unleashed.

For instance, we might experience Klotho (Reboot) Square Vesta-Mercury (Becoming Aware of our Limiting Beliefs – probably through owning a Projection) as Fear or Hesitation about how much we’d have to restructure our Lives if we Let Go of the Limiting Belief.  

“Owning a Projection” means that, in a place where we’re in the Habit of Blaming Others for something, we decide to look at our own Process, to see if there’s anything there which we can take Personal Responsibility for.  Remember, Blame looks backward to assign Cause, while Responsibility looks forward to improve Outcomes.

Let’s say, just for an example, you have a Garden, and Others are always criticizing it because it looks different than the Gardens they’re used to.  You’re in the Habit of grumbling to yourself about how no one ever asks you what your Intentions are or assumes you have some plan that they don’t understand, they just tell you how you’re doing it wrong, often vociferously.  They may even try to punish you for being wrong.  Well, if enough people tell you you’re wrong, most of us will start Believing we are wrong.  Or if not wrong, then we give up trying, because without Support, Life is hard.

Okay, there’s one thread – Believing Others more than we Trust Ourself.  Seeking Approval, or at least seeking an Open Mind and Curiosity and an attempt to Understand, if not Validate, what we’re doing and why.  That’s not Self-Sovereignty.  In fact, it could be a clue about our Forbidden Genius.  What do we leave half-finished because we don’t expect Acknowledgement for it?  Another crucial Question: Does this invoke any childhood memories?  If we were not Validated as a Unique Individual in our childhood, we’ll continue to Create circumstances where we have the opportunity to fill in that hole in our Aura by Validating ourself.

This line of thought is useful, it’s contributing useful information, and we could continue to work it productively.  But it’s analytical, Mercury-stuff – which of course is cool for Mercury-Vesta, exactly what we’d expect of Mercury-Vesta, analysis of our Limiting Beliefs.  But it’s not taking advantage of the Tricolor.  While analysis might install a window in the wall of our Birdcage, it’s unlikely to add a new wing.  For that we need to move to Curiosity.

“I Wonder where I might Focus my Attention in order to maximize Liberation from my Limiting Beliefs.”  A Statement, not a Question.  We aren’t intending to seek Answers, which would be intellectual and hence Linear.  We’re wanting to invoke the Nonlinear Insight that the Tricolor promises, the Insight that breaks through into additional Dimensions.  So we need to Change the Subject, put the mind to work on other concerns, so we can let that Wondering perk for a while.

Saturn-Klotho is a Trine, so if we don’t get stuck on the Square, the Rebooting should be Effortless.

How might we experience the other Square, Jupiter-North Node Square Saturn?  Well, there’s the traditional contrast between Jupiter as Expansion and Saturn as Concentration.  Do we want to put our Attention toward Expanding into our Mission and giving ourselves Permission to explore our Desires?  Or do we want to Focus on bringing our Limiting Beliefs into Consciousness where they can be where they can be reprogrammed?

“I Wonder what Limiting Beliefs inhibit me from Expanding vigorously into my Mission?”

Jupiter-North Node is also Trine to Vesta-Mercury; all we have to do is get out of the way and let the Magic unfold.

The Vesta-Mercury Initiation is also one corner of a Grand Trine, with Jupiter-North Node and Pluto (the Inevitable), so we really do have Grace working here.  With the Grand Trine, the Ego Death may not even be as uncomfortable as usual – though we’ve got that simultaneous Mars-Pluto Station Energy revving us up.  

 Which creates a third Tricolor…

• Vesta-Mercury Square Klotho Quincunx Pluto Trine Vesta-Mercury

With Pluto Stationary this seems like a rather unavoidable Reboot of our whole complex of Unconscious Beliefs.

“I Wonder what sort of Transformation will be upon us this weekend!”

With Mars and Pluto Stationary it won’t hurt to also PIAVA something like “Great Spirit, please grant us a Loving and Gentle and Easy weekend” just to cover the bases.

One last Angle: Vesta-Mercury is also Trioctile to Makemake and Octile to Ceres, or we could say that Vesta-Mercury forms a Trioctile Bridge across the Ceres-Makemake Opposition.  Ceres-Makemake is about making Innovation Permanent, which is very important when the Planet is Changing as rapidly and completely as ours.  The Eighth-Harmonic Octile series of Angles is about bringing things back into Balance.

So the weekend should also Open us Up to some whole new Vistas of Possibility.  It wouldn’t hurt us to do some “What-Ifs” – “What if People actually Supported me?”  “What if we could manifest a Community that really did Support us?”  That’d give us a sense of accomplishment for a weekend’s work, wouldn’t it.  Don’t dismiss the Possibility!

Which causes us to Ask, just where is dwarf planet Chaos – Unlimited Potential – this weekend?  Oho, here it is, Opposite Saturn and making a Grand Cross with the Nodes!  A Grand Cross Bridged by Vesta-Mercury, Klotho, and  Pluto.  A char that just keeps on Giving!

Another Busy Weekend

We have dedicated our Lives to suppressing certain Emotions and Memories and even Thoughts, and for good reason.  They would Overwhelm us, and we have More Important things to do.  Till now.

Thing is, those Emotions and Memories and Thoughts are the doorways to Healing our Limiting Beliefs, making it Safe to Remove our remaining Masks, eliminating Self-Sabotage, uncorking our Forbidden Genius, and to painlessly achieving the Yintegrity and Self-Sovereignty that we so crave, but which we hold back from because we fear it would so Disrupt our Lives and the Lives of those we Love and Depend upon.  That sentence was not approved by the FDA, but I believe it’s True.  And it may even positively impact our Physical Health.

The Universe will bring these Emotions and Memories and Thoughts to us in early June, and the Universe has been, and continues to, give us Opportunities to get a head start.  And every early Opportunity we take advantage of will make June less painful.  If we’re still in Resistance to these Emotions and Memories and Thoughts in June, the process could well be painful.  The Universe is our friend, if we Learn to listen to Her.

As you probably know by now, Eris (Truthtelling) Initiates Uranus (Our Connection to Our Individual Soul) in early June.   We expect this to do a pretty good job of finishing up the Yintegrity work we’ve been doing since 2012.  Well, let’s put it this way – late May and early June will be the Can-Opener phase of this Initiation.  The Initiation occurs at 24 Aries, “Blown inward by the wind, the curtains of an open window take the shape of a cornucopia: Openness to the influx of spiritual energies.“

When an Angle between two planets repeats, as is usually the case with outer planets, the first event always catches us off guard.  The last time this event occurred was in 1926, so very few of us have Experienced it in our current Lifetime.  If you know someone in their 90s who’s freaking out, this is probably why.  The less Experience we have with an Energy, the more likely it is to catch us off guard.  Forewarned is forearmed, however, so even if we’re off guard, knowing in general what the Energy is about can help us make sense out of what’s happening, and can help us step out of the Victim Modality we’d otherwise be in.

Let’s take what we hope will be an extreme example – suppose we were sexually abused as a child.  We don’t remember it, we only notice that in some situations we feel Unsafe or Angry or Scared, or maybe we’re uncomfortable with Intimacy.  If those Memories pop up in late May or early June, we’re going to Regress to the age when the abuse occurred, and to the Skillset and Boundaries that we had – or more accurately didn’t have – at that age.  Victim Modality is a foregone conclusion, most especially if those Memories arise as a result of some similar-feeling Unsafety in the then-Present Moment.

If we are somehow reminded that there is likely to be a “100-year” Regression (a Regression on such a scale that it occurs only once in a century) going on, we’re still going to be caught off guard, but we’re likely to be able to Recover our Present-Moment Skillsets much sooner than if we didn’t get the memo, or as the case may be, the blog post.

We’ve talked before about “Sensitivity” – how Sensitive we are to an astrological event, something astrologers can “Orb,” and I sometimes call “Slop.”  When an event is pending, most folks can certainly begin feeling it when it comes within one Degree of being exact.  Of course the Muggles will be in Denial, finding all manner of excuses, thinking it’s Heartburn.  The more Sensitive among us will begin feeling an event when it comes within three Degrees.  The most Sensitive of us will feel it sooner than that.

The Eris-Uranus Initiation reaches one Degree of Sensitivity in Mid-May.  It reached three Degrees of Sensitivity in late March.  Most folks who read this are likely to be at least three-Degrees Sensitive, so most of us are already Feeling it.  We Feel it through pressure to stop hiding or covering up parts of ourself that we’ve thought were less attractive or less Skillful.  Through Vulnerability.  Through Epiphanies about where we’ve been seeing through a glass darkly.  Through old Identities and Ego-Masks and Archetypes that we’re outgrowing.  Through a Desire to stop “Playing Games.”

An Initiation is a Conjunction.  When Angles repeat three times, as the Uranus-Eris Conjunction does, the first occurrence is a Can-Opener.  It opens a “Can of Worms” that we didn’t know was waiting for us.  The second and third occurrences are also Conjunctions, but they aren’t Initiations – only the first event is an Initiation.  We’re almost always in Victim Mode during a Can-Opener.

The second occurrence is an Exposition – the same Energy recurs front and center, but this time it seems to occur in slow motion (Retrograde), so we have a far better chance of understanding what’s happening “to us,” and consequently a far better chance of moving from Victim Mode to Master Mode.  In Victim Mode things happen to us, we have no Control over them.  In Master Mode, even if things happen to us, we have Skills to deal with them adequately.  

If we Master an Energy during the Exposition, then the third occurrence is a Confidence-Builder.  The Energy and Process recurs, but this time we’re ready and able to deal with it using our now-Present-Moment Skillsets, including those we learned in the previous two events, and we sail through it, feeling great about our new Expertise.  If we didn’t Master the Energy during the Exposition, then the third occurrence becomes another Opportunity, another Exposition.

The Uranus-Pluto Square recurred six times after the Can-Opener, giving us an indication of how Important the Universe thought it was for us to Recover our Yintegrity.  As if Pluto didn’t already symbolize what is Mandatory (Adaptable but not Avoidable).  The Can-Opener (June 2012) was followed by five Expositions (October 2012, May and November 2013, May and December 2014) before the Confidence-Builder (March 2015).  

The Uranus-Eris Exposition peaks in late September, while the Confidence-Builder occurs at the Ides of March next year.

In other words, as Uranus approaches Eris, that section of the Zodiac (now 21-23 Aries) gets very Hot.  The Sun (our Essence) crossed that section last weekend (April 9-11), while Varuna (Cellular Wisdom) and Chariklo (Beauty and Charm) were Stationary.  Venus (our Values) crosses that section two weekends hence, April 22-24.  In between, this coming weekend (April 16-17), Mars (Action) and Pluto (Inevitability) are Stationary (Strong).

There’s a joke about two Olde-Boy psychologists trading stories about “Freudian slips.”  One says his attention was drawn to the bosom of a ticket-seller on a recent trip to Pittsburgh, and he accidentally asked for a picket to his destination instead of a ticket.  The other says, “That’s nothing.  The other day I was having dinner with my mother and when I meant to ask her to pass the butter, what came out instead was ‘Mother, you’ve ruined my Life and I hate you!’ ”  

It would be really appropriate to Mars-Pluto – and fortuitous – if such Freudian slips came out this weekend, because they would constitute bright flashing lights pointing us toward clues about what hasn’t come to the surface of Consciousness yet.  Let your tongue be your Guide this weekend.  Same with “slip-ups” of any sort.  Make a wrong turn on the way to the store?  Where did you end up?  Drop a jar of Honey on a hard floor?  What do you suppose that might mean?  PIAVA the question.  Run into someone you haven’t seen in a long time?  A stranger strikes up an interesting conversation?  Pay Attention this weekend.

In particular, in addition to the Retrograde Stations of Pluto (5am PDT 17 April at 18 Capricorn) and Mars (1am PDT 18 April at 9 Sagittarius), Vesta (Unconscious Beliefs) Initiates Mercury (Communication) at 3pm PDT 16 April, in 17 Taurus, “A symbolic battle between ‘swords’ and ‘torches’.”  Fascinating Symbol, as Swords symbolize mentality, as does Mercury.  That leaves Vesta standing in for Torches, indicating that…

Our Unconscious Limiting Beliefs are Burning their way out of Denial now, and will be for the next fifteen months, while this Mercury-Vesta Cycle moves through.  Just long enough to cover the Eris-Uranus Confidence-Builder.

We’ll talk more about the Vesta-Mercury Initiation – with its two Tricolors and Grand Trine – in the next installment, but note that while it’s occurring, the Sun is crossing the asteroid Mnemosyne – Memory.  What a jokester, this Universe!