Well, as we approach March we have to partially retract our comment that
“We should be through with the onslaught of our Abuse Memories that we’ve been through over the last several months. More ancient Memories may still arise around the time of the Eclipse, but they’re unlikely to be as Traumatic. The Important Thing to remember is that they’re Up so we can Let Go of them.”
While it’s definitely true that “The Important Thing to remember is that they’re Up so we can Let Go of them,” we have several more days of potentially-Abusive memories coming, as Mercury crosses Nessus. The crossing culminates at noon on 28 February, but may extend as much as three days either way. Now Mercury is “just” the Mind, so it’s actually very Shallow. Mind is, however in bed with the Emotions, so we could drop back into Trauma if we aren’t monitoring our thoughts in order to clean up what we Manifest.
Consider it a Portal – a Ring of Fire even, where we’re Tempted to fall into Mind-Emotion helicopter trips and Bum ourself out. Choose to shoot down the helicopter and see what happens. Choose to be Loving with yourself no matter what. “You poor Sweetheart, it’s really Tempting to Believe those Threatening thoughts and let them trigger those Horrible Feelings again, isn’t it.” What if those Horrible Feelings really are finished for me. What would that Feel like?
We might Feel kind of Empty. We might be Tempted to go back to them because they make us Feel Real, because the Anger and Isolation that they Triggered was our only reliable way to Protect our Most Vulnerable Self. People have always turned away from us when we’re in that space – probably because they can see from the look on our face, or Feel from the Energy we’re projecting, that the wise thing will be to keep their distance. Or because it Triggers their own Abandonment, and being Extroverted they reach out to Other to Rescue themselves from our Bummer.
What if we could Stand Still in the Emptiness, let What Is be What Is without having to Change it. What would happen next? What would we Like to happen next? What would that Feel like? Would we Believe it and Allow that Feeling to stay with us? What if we Imagined – Made Up from Scratch – a conversation with ourself that could replace those old Bummer tapes. A conversation that would Spiral us Up into an Open Future rather than Spiralling us down into a Closed Past.
A conversation that Allowed us to Receive what we’ve Always Wanted, to Imagine Receiving now what we Never got in the first place, when we most Needed it. An Adult version of it, not the Infant and Adolescent Fantasy versions we’ve been stuck with All of our Lives. Would we even know what an Adult version would look like? Not from the Movies, but from our own Heart. Better spend some time with that Question. There aren’t any Easy Answers, are there. Reaching into Unknown Territory, maybe we should Ask our Self.
What would it Look Like to Receive What I’ve always Wanted, to Receive what will Really Fill my Heart? Before we can Focus our Attention on it, we need to know What It Is.