Archive for the ‘Cyllarus-Varuna’ Category

A New Circle

November 6, 2022

Fitting for the Samhain Season, Death and Life have Merged.1 Where were your Thoughts facing just before you started reading this? Toward What You Don’t Want, or Toward What You Do Want? Toward Letting Go, or Toward Reaching For? Don’t turn around, but let your Imagination paint a picture of What’s Behind You. Did you Notice that the Eyes in the back of your Head were Opening? Did you even Know that you had Eyes in the back of your Head? If we’re going to Live in Duality, we at least have to Look Both Ways. As we Reach For, have we already Let Go, or are we Reaching Out with Hands that are already Full of what we haven’t Let Go Of yet? To Manifest, we need Clarity. Not about What We Want, but about What We Want To Feel. If our Hands are Full of What We Haven’t Let Go Of yet, we send a very Mixed Message to the Universe.

The nature of an astrological Merger is that we are unable to Distinguish One from the Other. Does that Emotion Motivate me to Live, or am I Sick to Death of it? Well, it’s Both, isn’t it. So how are we supposed to Get Clear?

Every Challenge and SuperPower2 comes with an Argument.3 It’s this Argument that Inhibits our Clarity and Mixes the Want List we send to the Universe. Believe it or not, the Universe Loves to Serve. All we need is Lack of Ambiguity, and She’s Right There to Provide. You can Think of it as an Angel on one Shoulder and a Devil on the Other, but it’s seldom that Clear-Cut. It could easily be two Devils, two Angels, or a Devil and a Deep Blue Sea. Too often it’s an Angel and a Preacherman. Do we Want Death, or Life? Truth Is, we need both. Reality is always Both/And. It’s Thought that’s Either/Or, which is why Thought and Reality so seldom align with one another. We Want certain Old Limiting Habits to Die, and certain New Unlimited, or a least Less Limiting, Habits to take their place. We just need Clarity about which is which.

In our Samhain Life-and-Death Both/And situation, the Argument is pretty Clear on one side (Clear, but not necessarily Clearly in the Live or the Die Category). That side is basically Unlimited Struggle.4 Doesn’t much sound like Fun. The other side of the Argument? It’s a cross between an Elephant and a Rhinoceros – ‘ElephIno! It’s a Merger of Intrusive Memories, and Growth in Consciousness,5 which could mean anything to you, depending on what Memories are Intruding, and whether your Karma with Growth in Consciousness is Life-Affirming or Deadly.

So it’s Complicated! But, fortunately, it’s Fully Self-Resolving! That means our Interventions to “Fix” any temporary Discomforts may Disrupt the Resolution. Does that apply to my Surrendering my chronic back pain to a Chiropractic Magician? I doubt it, because my back pain preceded this Challenge by a couple of Decades. But Time will tell; it may introduce new Complexities – like maybe the new set of Muscles I’m having to develop (a much more manageable style of pain) because I’m Walking differently.

This Fish-like Crystal should serve us on two counts. First, the Spodumene Mineral facilitates Growth in Consciousness, quite possibly by tempering any Discomfort we have around the accompanying Ego Death, since it’s a Lithium Crystal – Lithium compounds are even prescribed for Calming the Nerves. Growth in Consciousness doesn’t happen without an Ego Death. “Aha” Moments are usually Growth in our Concept Set, which stretches our Mental Cage a bit, but may actually hinder Growth in Consciousness, which occurs when we Escape from our old Concept Set. The more Certain we are that we Understand Intellectually, the more Difficult it’s likely to be for us to Open to the Real Mystery of Life Beyond Duality. This is a Kunzite Crystal, a form of Spodumene, a Lithium Aluminium Inosilicate. In the Inosilicates, the Silicate groups occur individually. The simplicity of the Silicate structure probably aids its Calming function.

Second, the Fish-scale pattern identifies it as a Record-Keeper Crystal, sort of the Crystalline version of the Akashic Records. So it may interact with our Intrusive Memories in Surprising ways. If you happen to find yourself able to Read it (which you may!), you could stumble into the equivalent of a complete Past or Parallel Life from it. Up close – see below – the Fish-scales are actually mostly Patterns of triangular indentations or etchings, as if some Wizard was writing hieroglyphics on it.

1 The chart is in the previous post. Cyllarus (Death/Ego Death) Out of Bounds (Exaggerated ) in 5 Leo (An Old Soul Who Discovers that the Old Rules No Longer Apply) and Varuna (The Life Force) in 8 Leo (A Charmed Life on the Edge between Pride and Modesty, with Need for Vigilance against Jealousy) are both Stationary (Amplified ) and Merged (Conjunct), Cyllarus 4:31 pm PDT 4 November (12:31 am BST 5th, 10:31 am AEDT 5th), and Varuna 8:34 am PST 7 November 2022 (4:34 pm GMT 7th, 2:34 am AEDT QLD 8th, 3:34 am AEDT NSW 8th, at least according to one source). When we Merge 5 Leo with 8 Leo, we get the Libra Duad of Leo. That’s Us Meeting Other, as we Inch toward 5D Community. Do you have any Fears or Judgments about Other. This would be a good time to Let Go of those; if we Wait, they’ll make Community more Difficult for us, and we’ll need Community in 5D.

2 T-Square.

3 The Opposition in the base of the T-Square.

4 Sisyphus (Infinite Tasks) Out of Bounds (Exaggerated ) in 11 Virgo (Totally Dedicated to Healing and Wholeness in a Very Unique Way) Merged with (Conjunct) Tantalus (Infinite Repeats of Temptation, with No Option for Satisfaction) in 5 Virgo (The Edge between Fear and Ego Death). The Greeks set up these Evil Spells on purpose. We want to Revert Evil Spells – Death to them! They describe Karma Perfectly. The Degree readings don’t help matters one bit. Problem Is, they also describe Life Perfectly! Our Wants are Never Satisfied, because as soon as they are, or at least after a few minutes of Victory Celebration, we Want Something Else! Same with Healing – we Heal one thing, and something else pops up! Infinitely. As is often the case, an Attitude Adjustment is Needed, and a cocktail won’t do the trick.

The Metaphor is Learn to Enjoy the Journey, because the Destination is a box in the ground. Seeing ourself as an Observer of our Life rather than a Controller can help. Instead of Oh Shit! and Yipee! we substitute Isn’t that Fascinating! Of course we can’t make it up, we have to Believe it. Keeping a Journal written as if it was a Novel might be one way to help make the Infinite Life-Affirming. As a friend used to say, Any Day above ground is a Good Day. Actually, I think he still says it. I’ve known him since kindergarten, which is a loong time, and he’s always been Remarkably Clear about What He Wants, totally Successful at Achieving it, and often Successful at Enjoying it. Another Strategy is the old notion of You Can’t Take It With You, which is total Bullshit. We Take With Us Everything We Learn. And actually, our Failures are our Biggest Learning Opportunities. Remember that when you’re Ruing your natal T-Squares!

5 Gonggong (Intrusive Memories) at 5 Pisces (Deep Deep Mystical Awareness Sheltered from Ego by Lack of a Need for Certainty) Merged with Juno (Growth in Consciousness, or Resistance of Same) at 9 Pisces (The Inescapable Need to Embrace the Shadow and Bring It to the Light). Again, the Degree readings don’t seem Helpful at first glance. Second glance is better. If we have a natal planet near 9 Pisces, we’re probably well aware of what’s Inescapable – we’ll already have Experience with Embracing the Shadow and Bringing It to the Light. So we’ll Know that to be Life-Affirming, if Difficult. And that Deep Deep Mystical Awareness of 5 Pisces should make us Receptive to Accepting our Intrusive Memories as streetlights on the road to Embracing our Shadow. If you don’t have natal planets or recent transits near 9 Pisces, this combo might seen very Threatening.

But overall, it’s pretty Clear – we can use our Intrusive Memories, and our Incongruous Feelings (which we can see as Unconscious Reactions to Vague Intrusive Memories) as an outline for our Searching and Fearless Inventory of the places where we have Ego Attached to our Shadow. That’s sort of what happened for me when I had to Embrace Anger with a very Obscure Source in order to be Open to getting my back Healed. I understand it a bit more (and I see more new Shadowy Implications) now, after the fact, but it’s still quite backhanded. So it’s our Shadow Attachments that need to go to the Ego-Death Tarpit, and our subsequent Liberation that should be Life-Affirming. Or something like that, as Eugene Gendlin wisely recommended we suffix any Conclusions about our own Psyche.

Beyond the 3D Gaol (4)

November 5, 2022

I’m glad to see folks beginning to accept Reality – Nothing Changes Till We Accept It Fully Exactly As It Is

An except from “Paradise Out of Disaster: Global Earth Repair – Plan B” by Michael Pilarski, in Permaculture Design: Regenerating Life Together, August/Fall 2022, p.31…

“Growing your own food may become imperative. It should be a human right to have a small patch of land to grow food. Paradise out of Disaster. An idea whose time has come? Out of the ashes can rise the phoenix. The better story wins. Collapse-induced localization may give us our best chance of a sustainable, resilient, humane future. Where we are headed in today’s world doesn’t look uplifting to me on any account. Take your pick, dystopian rule and ecological disaster, or local control and ecological restoration. No matter what happens, earth repair and ecosystem restoration must be pursued with all the vigor humanity can muster. It is, as John D. Liu calls it, the Great Work of our Time.”

Michael ( and was one of the first Permaculture students and practitioners in the US, has made a living foraging and growing medicinal herbs all his life, created the Fairy and Human Relations Congress and has sustained it for two decades, and single-handedly collected many of the World’s leading planetary regeneration experts in one place to present the Global Earth Repair Conference in 2019, sustaining it since – among other things!

About Cyllarus (Ego Death) and Varuna (the Life Force), both Stationary (Strong) as we speak…

After moving through an Intense Ego Death around Anger for some reason, I signed up for a session with Chiropractor Dr. Regan Golob (, In about 20 minutes, for less than a C-note, he fixed the lower back pain I’ve been living with for two decades. He poked, prodded, did a little muscle testing, asked a few questions, massaged a few tight muscles, and put my sacroiliac joint back together. Rather than telling me not to sit around writing, he told me to keep my feet positioned under my hips, not forward of them, when sitting, and to do a simple, quick exercise every time I get up from sitting – keeping my legs stiff, raise each heal a bit three times. He said it would take about six weeks or so for the tendons to strengthen and retrain themselves, and included a jug of Standard Process Ligaplex capsules to take daily for the duration. I’m still in the habit of moving cautiously – semi-consciously expecting pain at any moment – and feeling a little fragile, but already my back hurts much less and much less frequently. Huzzah!

Dr. Golob spends a good deal of his time on the road, traveling around Healing People and Horses (and Cats and Dogs and other Critters). He lives in Colorado, but he’ll spend the next week in Florida. So don’t worry about How it’ll happen, if you’re in pain or discomfort, just Declare that You’re Open to Instantaneous Healing. And then, Change the Subject!

After a three-hour power failure from a Big Windstorm, it’s late, so I’ll just include the Cyllarus-Varuna chart, and interpret it tomorrow…

The heavy lines show the single Fully Self-Resolving Challenge and SuperPower, Focusing max Energy on Pan (Chief Deva of Nature) Merged with Moira (Fate and Choice). We can Choose to Reintegrate with Nature, we don’t even need to know How, we just need to Declare the Intention. That step is probably the single most Powerful thing we can do to promote Planetary Ascension. It only takes a few seconds – I Choose to Reintegrate with Nature. Most of Huperity is obviously Accepting it as their Fate, but we don’t need to join them. The Zero-Sum segment of Huperity Fears that they have to Choose between Abundance (aka Using Nature Up, aka Survival, in some notable cases such as Corporate Profits, aka Greed) and Nature, but we’re ahead of that Game, because we know that there are no Contradictions in the Real World, only Paradoxes. Right? Haven’t we Learned that by now? We can Choose More Abundance and Reintegration with Nature. Declaring that Intention will put our Intuition right to Work.

When we PIAVA, it’s always Critical that we keep our Attention on What we Want and How We’ll Feel when we get it. If we spend any time at all thinking about How It’ll Happen, we’ve just Neutered our PIAVA. If we knew How It’ll Happen, we’d have done it a long time ago. We Don’t Know How It Will Happen. We’d probably be ahead to Declare that I Choose To Be Surprised By How I Reintegrate With Nature. This is one reason why it’s so important to Change the Subject after we PIAVA, to keep us out of our Habitual Negative Yes-But Thoughts about Mechanism.