The 4 June New Moon is a major trigger for the 9 June Eris-Uranus Initiation, which is about Getting Honest with Ourselves around our formerly-Unconscious Limiting Beliefs. We’ve also referred to them as Masks and Archetypes, and Despair. This is really about Rebirth. Unfortunately it may not be the most Effortless Birth, as our favorite Pattern is to cling to our Olde Ego while the New Ego is trying to get born. That’s very painful.
We have to Let Go and Let God/Goddess. Trust the process. Whenever the going gets tough, recognize that you’re in Resistance to the Change. It may not at all be obvious what else you can do besides Resist – Resistance is your Olde Ego trying to Survive, and that’s exactly what Egos do for a living, they’re good at it, and that’s why you hire them, because when they Survive, you Survive. Except during the occasional Rebirths; we have to endure an Ego Death to allow a Rebirth.
Your New Ego isn’t formed yet, and while we may have an inkling where to find its chrysalis, we won’t know what it Feels like. So we’re stuck with PIAVAs (“God/Goddess, please give me a clue what to do besides Resist” or “I Wonder what it will Feel like when I finish wriggling out of this old carapace that’s so tight I can’t Breathe”) and Tapping (“Even though I feel worthless and hopeless, I deeply and completely Love and Accept Myself”) and Empathizing (“You poor Sweetheart, you really feel like you’re being tortured, don’t you”) and the like.
Once you succeed in Letting Go, you’ll be surprised at how quickly it gets Easy.
1. There’s a big Challenge to Embrace our Despair. Remember that “Unconscious Despair” is failure to Believe that what you Need is even Possible. Set aside your YesButs for a moment and Imagine that you could have what you Need or Want. Now go back to your YesButs and convert each one to a YesAnd. “YesBut you just aren’t Sexy enough to get that” might become “YesAnd I just Need one Lover.” “YesBut you’ll never be able to earn enough Money for that” may be “YesAnd What If someone gave it to me as a Gift!”
You want to Touch that Feeling that you would have if your Dream came true, and hold it as long as you can, till it becomes a when rather than an if, If you can hold that Feeling enough, it won’t matter whether your Dream actually Manifests, because you’ll already have what your Dream would have given you – Peace, Joy, Excitement, Self-Respect, Power, Grace. What’s a Lover or a Red Convertible compared to that! And if you had those Feelings most of the time, you could probably score Lovers and Convertibles pretty easy, if you still wanted to.
This is the difference between your Deepest Desires and your Mission in the Lifetime. What you Desire isn’t actually the Object of your Dreams, it only seems that way because you live in a Material World. What you actually Crave, what you came her to achieve, is How the Object of your Dreams Makes you Feel. From that Feeling you can have anything you Ask for. And guess what! You’ll be Asking for different things, and they won’t have any YesButs. It’s a Hologram, y’know, and you’re the projector.
2. While this is a big Challenge, it doesn’t come without tools that can actually make it pretty Easy. However, to manifest the Ease, we have to realize that Rebirth is the Ego’s Least Favorite party game, and Love our Olde Ego into oblivion. Try Gratitude that It’s gotten you this far. Try just really really appreciating how incredibly Comfortable your Olde Ego Feels, and PIAVA that your New Ego is going to Feel even more Comfortable once you’ve moved through the Grief of Giving Up your Olde Friend who’s kept you Safe.
3. What will make your Rebirth Easier? Getting Honest about what you’ve been trying to hide from yourself. You may not know the details, but you know the general theme. Abuse? You don’t need to remember who or when, you just need to Trust your Feelings about it. Fear? Anger? Embrace them. Locate them in your Body, and move all of your Attention into the center of that place, and hold it there. Bring it back when it wanders. Stay with it till it dissolves or moves. If it moves, follow it.
Eventually you’ll need to Surrender all Blame. Blame looks toward the Past to assign Cause, while Responsibility looks toward the Future to improve Outcomes. Any time you catch yourself attributing some Emotion or Sensation in your Body to any outside Cause, stop and bring your Attention back into your Body. I’m always gnawing at myself because my neighbors have no idea what I’m trying to do in my Garden, and condemn it as a Jungle.
I need to catch myself thinking that, and bring my Attention back into my own Body. Those Emotions and Sensations have their Roots in my Personal and Karmic Histories. Those are my Emotions, the neighbors only trigger them. I need to take up the Practice of locating them in my Body, and Loving them right where they are, exactly as they are. If I Reject any Emotion, I dampen them all, and without any of them I’m not a Whole Person, I’m dis-eased.
Use this general model with everything that you suspect may be lurking in your Underwhere – Inadequacy, Self-Hate, Belief in Fate, Addiction, Guilt, Shame, any Limiting Belief, and anything else that comes up. When the Emotion begins to Overwhelm, Tap it Out.
4. The whole chart actually falls into a pool of Enormous Grace, but there’s a leak in the pool. To plug it, we need to recognize the Challenges we’ve Lived through, Honor ourself for Living through them, and be Willing to talk about them so others can Learn from our travails.
- Aside from the Eris-Uranus Initiation itself of course, the primary focus of the chart is a Chiron T-Square (Challenge to Convert Despair to Miracles) across and Opposition between an Ixion-Pholus Conjunction (Taking Full Responsibility to Let our Orphaned Genius out of the closet) and a Karma-Chaos Conjunction (But without my old Patterns it all looks Chaotic! or Karma is Dead; Long Live Karma!).
- This T-Square (Mastery through Challenge) is actually a Diamond Star (Making what would be difficult, Easy), with Sappho (Self-Love) and a Haumea-Nemesis Conjunction (either Feeling like you had this coming, or Recognizing that Rebirth feels like Death because they’re just different sides of the same Coin) on the feet of the Chiron Yod.
- The Eris-Uranus Initiation (Revelation of Denial) is at the focus of a Quintile Yod (huge Learning Opportunity). However, the Haumea-Nemesis Conjunction Opposes the Eris-Uranus Initiation, converting the QYod into a Quintile Kite and shifting some of the emphasis onto Haumea-Nemesis. A Yod pointing to a Sedna-Atropos Conjunction (The Demise of Fear, foreshadowed of course by the Fear of Demise) from the base of the Sextile from Haumea-Nemesis to Ixion-Pholus.
- Eris-Uranus, Karma-Chaos, Sappho, Haumea-Nemesis, and Ixion-Pholus form five points of a Grand Sextile (Enormous Grace, though we need to take the first step). The Vacancy is 24 Aquarius, “A person, having overcome their compulsions, shares the deep wisdom that results from their experience: The constructive use to which difficult past experiences can be put as examples for those who are still striving to overcome their compulsions,” aka Archetypes/Masks/Karma.