Archive for the ‘Confusion’ Category

Orcus and Hopi I

May 18, 2017

Our next Adventure is the sequential Stations of dwarf planet Orcus (Oath-Making and -Breaking) and asteroid Hopi (Respect for All Things).  Both Stations occur just prior to 6am PST, Orcus on 21 May, and Hopi on 22 May.  This will be a particularly fascinating combination of Energies, because most of our Limiting Beliefs were founded by Oaths, Oaths always Power-Over one side or the other of some Duality, and Respect for All Things means the Absence of Judgment.

The result of the Merging of two such contrasting Energies will be laden with Paradox, and Paradox of the exact nature that Spiritual Progress is paved with.  Remember that limiting our Commitments as much as possible is a prerequisite to Yintegrity.  And to be Self-Sovereign, rather than Slaves to our Archetypes, we need to Renounce all of our Oaths.  Being thus Free, we’ll be able to follow our Instinct and Intuition without constraint.

You would think, for instance, that an Orcus-Hopi astroevent would simply be a great time to Swear to Respect All Things.  But that would Betray Respect for Ourself, as it would inhibit our Freedom to Follow our Instincts and Intuitions.  Paradox is not accessible by the logical mind. so we just have to Accept it as a Mystery.

Paradox, as we’ve said, is the realm of the Yin Gate Configuration, a Golden Rectangle bisected on the short side by a third Opposition.  By “coincidence,” there happen to be three Yin Gates in the Orcus and Hopi Station charts.  Here’s an example of one, in the Orcus Station chart…

The Orcus Station itself T-Squares (Mastery through Challenge) one axis of the Golden Rectangle (which is the blue box).  “Coincidentally,” the axis that it T-Squares is the axis between Lilith (Self-Sovereignty itself) on the right and a Conjunction of Ceres (Sustainability) and Mnemosyne (Memory) on the left.  The implication is that We Already Know How to Sustain Self-Sovereignty, all we have to do is Remember That We Know.

Another “coincidence” – one axis of each of the three Yin Gates is T-Squared by one of the Stationary planets.  Such redundancy convinces us that the Universe is serious about this message.

The Challenge is our accumulated Oaths, and the Archetypes we still cling too.  Remember that Karma is dead; our Karma does not CLING TO US, we CLING TO IT.  Are you about to do something that you’ve done before?  Do it differently.  I was about to go get a half-glass of Beer, so to break up the Pattern I’ll do a couple of pirouettes between here and refrigerator.  Not that a half-glass of Beer is a big Pattern of mine, but a trip to the refrigerator certainly is! 

Surprisingly and Remarkably, each pirouette produced a big surge of Joy.  I may adopt a new Pattern!  If you spot an old fart pirouetting down the road, say Hi.  Wait, that’s an Oath!  Revert!

The Opposition in the Yin Gate itself (the one in the center of the Golden Rectangle – I know, it’s both blue and Golden – blue because that’s how we draw Energy lines representing Grace, and Golden because the ratio of the sides is the Golden Ratio of Sacred Geometry fame) is between asteroid Veritas (Truth) and dwarf planet Hylonome (Letting Go of Archetypes) – yet another redundant repetition of our basic theme here, which is about Facing the Truth that Allowing ourself to be Directed by our Unconscious Patterns not only Inhibits our Spiritual Progress, it also generates a good deal of Self-SabotagePirouettes are in our Future whether by Oath or Instinct!

The other diagonal of this Golden Rectangle is an Opposition between asteroids Vesta (Unconscious Beliefs) and Nemesis (Ego Death).  Lordy Lordy, another redundant repetition!  Well, most of us will have Ego invested in our Unconscious Limiting Beliefs – that’s how we get them to stick.  Of course we all want to be good little girls and boys, and if Granny told us over and over again that good little girls and boys don’t do that, then there you have it – Ego Investment.  

So you remember how to do Ego Death, right?  You reinterpret “I’d rather DIE” to actually be “I’D rather die,” and them you just let it happen.  Egos are like Moles (the ones in your yard) – if you ever do succeed in killing one, another one will pop up to replace it before you can say “Hooray, I’m Freee at Last!”   Chagrin (or Terror) over Ego Death is totally wasted; new Egos are a dime a dozen.  When someone tells you they gave up their Ego when they were Enlightened, that’s their Ego talking. 

You Embrace Confusion as the First Stage of Growth in Consciousness, which heralds less Slavery to Archetypes and less Self-Sabotage (and another sign of Ego Death).  You might be driving or walking a few blocks from home, and suddenly realize that you’re in a very different World, even while you know exactly where you are.  You might suddenly forget all your passwords, or your spouse’s name, because without warning you’ve regressed to age 6 or 12 or 32 or Atlantis or the time you met Genghis Khan, when the Steppes were in bloom.

As with Curiosity, you want to Break all Habits (Oaths!) to try to Understand.  Trying to Understand means you’re scrambling back to your Olde Ego, and losing all the benefits of Psychic and Spiritual Growth.  Confusion and Curiosity are Beautiful just as they are, they aren’t problems to be solved or reasons to exercise that big glucose-burner in your skull.  They’re glorious states to relax into.  They will take you to Heaven if you let them.

This is only one part of the Orcus-Station chart; we’ll take up other parts in the next installment.  For now, notice that the Orcus Station happens to be Conjunct asteroid Karma – yet one more confirmation of our basic theme of Liberation.  The Initiation of Karma by Orcus already occurred, in mid-November of last year, at 10 Virgo, “”Two heads looking out and beyond the shadows: The growth of true understanding, born out of the transcendence of duality even while immersed in the world of duality.” 

The Validations just keep on coming!  The Karma-Orcus Exposition (Retrograde Conjunction) occurred in early March, and the Confidence-Builder (final crossing) will happen on 30 May.  By then we should be feeling pretty good about how much Karmic baggage we’ve been putting out on the curb for recycling.

Cutting the Cloth VII and Aries Week II

March 16, 2017

In the arenas where we’ve achieved or otherwise enjoy some sort of Mastery, the sense of relative Control feels exquisite.  But then there are the other arenas of Life.  And it’s not actually about Control, it’s about Surrender.  It Feels to me like we’re already into “Aries Week” – time to reread…

https://astrobuss.wordpress.com/2017/03/08/aries-week-let-it-all-hang-out/ 

Bottom Line…

It’s all about Healing, but if we’re Ego-Attached to any of our Wounds [or any of our Achievements], the Healing Crisis will have to involve Ego Death.  It wouldn’t be surprising if this is what we Took Birth for…  We could easily make the case that the primary astroEnergy bathing us in late 2016 and early 2017 [and especially in late March] is a Struggle between Fear and Self-Love.  Love is Soft and Warm, Fear is Cold and Hard.  Love Heals, Fear is the Foundation for continued Separation and Pain.  “Love” means Unconditional Love.  The sort of Love that Expects something in Return is another category altogether.”

If we’re Struggling to Manifest something and it’s not working, we have to Love Ourself for that too.  How do we Love a Wound without Expecting something – like Healing for instance – in Return?  Lots of Tapping, perhaps?  Poor-Sweethearting the part of ourself that’s craving the Healing?  Looking into the Funhouse Mirror to see if there are other things we’re actually craving more than Healing?  Other cravings which may be holding back the Healing – or which the Universe thinks we need to Heal more than what our Ego wants to Heal, and It’s just using the Frustrating Wound to get our Attention?

The contest this week and next probably isn’t directly about Self-Love versus Fear; it’s probably more about Self-Love versus Self-Abandonment and Self-Doubt.  We have very Powerful Skills we aren’t using – we may not even be Aware of them – and the Universe may be Teasing us our Frustration, trying to get our Ego to open up to the unseen.  If you find Confusion, know you’re on the right track.  Don’t try to Disfuddle yourself; instead, Relax into the Confusion.  

Don’t-Know Beginners Mind is where we want to Be.  It’s all about Letting Go of Expectations and Judgments.  As Michael Roads says (From Illusion to Enlightenment p.94),”I need you to fully realize that you cannot change and remain the same.”  You could also be Feeling Pressure from Others.  Dealing with their Expectations and Judgments is a whole ‘nother story, especially if you Let them have Power Over you, or if they Want Power Over you.  

Sappho – Self-Love – has its 26 March Station and turns Back before it reaches Lilith, but the Station is Conjunct (Merged With) Lilith – Self-Sovereignty.  It will be mid-November by the time Sappho catches up with Lilith again, but the Initiation is intriguing – 2 Capricorn, “Three rose windows in a Gothic church, one damaged by war: The necessary realization by any individual making a violent use of collective power that it will lead to the inevitable destruction of some of the values ensuring group-integration.”

The 25 March Station of Ixion – Forbidden Genius – is also still Conjunct Saturn – Focus, or what we usually refer to as The Most Important Thing, since it implies suspending all priorities of lesser import.  The nascent Saturn-Ixion Cycle began mid-February at 26 Sagittarius, “A flag bearer in a battle” – a flag represents an Identity, particularly a Group Identity.  

Ixion and Saturn are Channeling the Galactic Center here, so we can interpret this as the necessity of moving to our Galactic or “Fifth-Dimension” Identity, the one that emphasizes Collaboration, Cooperation, Respect for All Things, and Shared Abundance, rather than Competition, Success and Failure, Privilege and Abuse, Duality, and Greed.  But we do this by Shifting our Frequency, not by “battle” or “war” or “violence.”

The two Stations bracket Sagittarius – Sappho at the Beginning and Ixion near the End.  Sagittarius is about Letting Go and Letting the Goddess.  So along the way we may be Grieving the Loss of some cherished “Third-Dimensional” Ego props, like Expectation, Judgment, Control, even Mastery.  Try putting Awe in their place.

January, Week 3, Start 2A

January 16, 2017

A regular reader writes…

“I have a thought that I’ve had many times.  Is thought random, or pre-planned?  And, when we experience a ‘negative’ thought, why does no one question the origin?  Are there etheric Lizards hurling thoughtforms into our awareness?  The Gnostics said so, that the seed of human error was ‘the mind parasite’ or the ‘foreign installation’ that Don Juan described to Carlos Castenada.  

This is also Buddhism’s biggest oversight (in my humble opinion)…it seeks to end suffering via various concepts, disciplines of the mind, and actions, but never asks about the origin or causes of the “why” of the human condition.  It ignores the deeper mystery in other words.”

Good points all, though I see the World differently.

I certainly agree that the mind is a (useful) parasite, but I don’t think we need to project our Xenophobia on it and make it foreign.  I believe we need to “own” its machinations as we need to “own” all of our Projections and Introjections.  

I’d say that not only are there the equivalent of etheric Lizards hurling all manner of thoughtforms at us, but there are also etheric Amphibians hurling all manner of Emotions at us, all of which are impersonal.  We glom onto and Personalize the ones that resonate with our Unfinished Business.  However, I’d regard all these images as metaphors.  I don’t believe anything coming out of our minds or mouths is ever anything but metaphor.  

There are so many different layers to, and (legitimate) Perspectives on, the Onion of “Reality” that I believe the Onion itself to be ineffable.  Many consider it Illusion.  I don’t usually think directly in those terms (it’s inconvenient to think of my desk as 99.999…% “empty” space), but I do believe that it’s Energy that’s “Real,” and Matter that’s insubstantial, held together by mass hypnosis and Emotional Energy.  Thought and Emotion are “Real” forms of Energy.

When asked why we don’t all see Psychic Energy, my first teacher relayed the metaphor that as children learning colors, we’d point at our mother’s friend’s Energy Body and say “Red!”  Mom would reply, “No honey, that’s a Blue dress.”  We don’t actually need etheric Lizards if we need to attribute Cause.

As for Buddhism, I’m quite sure that the omission of Why is purposive.  Why is the occupation of Monkey Mind, while Buddhism strives for Beginner’s Mind or “Don’t Know,” which is similar to the state of Awe and Wonder that I often refer to as Perpetual Curiosity.  Prior to making Conclusions, Curiosity like Unconditional Love eschews Judgment, so I consider it “next to Godliness.”  Metaphors are just word pictures; Conclusions, Certainties, Dogmas, and Either/Ors are Judgments.  

Now, I hope everyone notices that this is an Either/Or Judgment.  A better alternative would be…

“When you see someone making a choice that you would not make for yourself, let it go.  Show that person love and compassion, but do not feel the need to correct him or her.  Instead, be the leader that you are and the wayshower that you always intended to be by choosing for yourself the path of love, compassion, and unity.”  — http://danielscranton.com/the-way-of-the-wayshower-∞the-9th-dimensional-arcturian-council/ 

But it’s a Discernment I use to differentiate Spirituality from Politics – Spirituality is Both/And; Either/Or is Politics.  I find that this particular Either/Or Judgment is a very useful Heuristic as a bs meter.  A Heuristic is a methodology “that solves a problem quickly but is not certain to arrive at an optimal solution.”

As Michael Roads says, “It Is What It Is.”  Not more nor less.  The rest is just mindstuff.  I often refer to Cause and Effect as The Great God Causan Defect.  It’s a challenge to think in terms other than Cause and Effect.  A heresy even!  It’s merely our Patriarchal Programming, mass hypnosis.  See if you can go a day – or ten minutes – without seeing the World through the Glass Darkly of Cause and Effect.

Jung for one postulated an alternative sort of Relationship between Observations which describes many aspects of “Reality” far better than Causan Defect (Jung and Pauli, The Interpretation of Nature and the Psyche).  We see what we Expect to see.  Seeing the World without Expectations would be hugely Confusing – that is, Growthful!  But not easy.

And there’s no sense in which Buddhism “ignores the deeper mystery,” quite the contrary.  Buddhism believes that the Mystery lies not in the mind but in the Heart.  It sees the mind as Destroyer of Mystery.  The Matriarchy agreed.

January, Week 3 – Ego Death Week I

January 16, 2017

So, what’s an Ego Death?  Addicts, Born-Again Christians, and Tibetan Buddhists might be the only folks around who really understand what it means.  It happens when we realize that what we’re doing in Life is really not working, and our only option is to “Give Up,” or, more properly, “Give It Over.”  

Remember the old saw about doing the same thing over and over and expecting different outcomes?  When we Realize that we’re doing the same thing over and over again and it’s never accomplished what we’d hoped it would, we’re stopped cold in our tracks, and know that we have to try something new.

Only problem is, do we know how to try something new?  Or will we just try the same old thing under a different disguise.  It helps a lot to understand the concept of Identity, because an Ego Death is a Change of Identity, like when Clark becomes Superman.  

For most of us most of the Time, our Identity is transparent to us, because we’re relating from it rather than to it, as Stephen Levine says (Turning toward the Mystery, p.53).  When we say “I’m [not] one of those people who…” our Identity becomes opaque and observable, but who among us says that as an Observation about our Limits, rather than a boast about our Prejudices?

And worse, how many times a day do we make a Decision or Choice based on an unstated “I’m [not] one of those people who…”?  At least if we go around saying, to ourself or others, “I’m [not] one of those people who…”, we’re Conscious of our Identity, even if we don’t realize it’s a Mask and a Limitation.  

Let’s take a Real-Time example.  Suppose I think “I’m one of those people who writes good blogs.”  And Suppose I start thinking, “This one is hard,” and I have to stop and PIAVA assistance to communicate clearly, because I like that Feeling of finishing a post and thinking to myself, “This is really good!”  Then Suppose what happens next is that I Feel Despair about accomplishing it.

Well, I’m closing in on my Identity as a writer, aren’t I.  You’d think that when I had to Ask for help, my Identity would have already taken a hit.  (Notice that “My Identity” and “I” are synonyms – substitute one for the other in those sentences and see if it’s illustrative of anything.)  No, I/my-Identity long ago Realized that I/my-Identity could do anything a lot better when I/it had help from the Ethers.  But I/it didn’t really Change the Subject, did I/it.  I/it went straight from PIAVAing to Despair.

Of course.  Our poster child for Despair, Chiron, is dancing with Mars (16 January, 10pm PST, 22 Pisces – A new law is promulgated.)  I’ve already had one episode of intense Frustration this evening, where I got to watch how I React to an impassable dead end.

So how do we (ie, I/my-Identity) Change the Subject?  (Notice the editorial we-Identity creeping in there.)  Well, I/my-body have to pee anyway, and I/it want some ice cream, and I/it can use one of my standbys, a hand of solitaire.  Diversions!  That’ll Change the Subject!  Of course, the Sugar has cut me/it off from my/its Feelings.  So, now what.  

Well, I/it can try to Pay Attention.  What was my/its original issue/PIAVA?  Oh yeah, how would I/it Feel if I/it wrote a lousy blog post.  Well, unfortunately for youalls, I/it is not that much of a Perfectionist.  (I/it is Noticing I/my-Cleverness subtly patting me/it on the back for writing this as a narrative.)

Okay, I/it admit it, I’m Feeling Confused.  Are you/your-Identity Feeling Confused too?  Confusion is good, Confusion is the first sign of Growth, right?  Growth in Consciousness isn’t possible without an Ego Death.  We’re like the Snake and Turtle and Crab – our Identity is literally an exoskeleton, and we have to molt it in order to Grow.  So, now, are you perfectly Clear about what an Ego Death is?  

No?  Well, good, because if you were, you wouldn’t have Grown, you’d just have been playing Scrabble with me.  Maybe we’ve talked circles around it long enough to plant seeds into your Intuition, maybe not.  At any rate, besides Learning about our Relationship to Despair and Frustration, this week we’re also going to be Confronting two other Big Ego Deaths.

In the first one, we’re face-fo-face with our Abandoned Genius, and we won’t recognize them unless we’re willing to Embrace a Big Ego Death, aka a Change in Who We Believe Ourselves to “Be,” on a deep level.  

19 January, 1am PST, Ixion (Abandoned Genius) Initiates Juno (the Edges of Consciousness), Sagittarius 26 (“A Flag Bearer”).  Oh my, a Flag is an Identity, isn’t it!

What might this look like?  

Well, we might meet someone we’re intensely Jealous or Envious of.  Someone who has all the glorious Qualities that we’ve always wished we had, and wears them as if they’re Effortless.  Someone Brilliant, Gorgeous, Talented, and Fabulous.  I Wonder what would happen if we tried to Mirror their admirable Qualities instead of Shying away from them or Feeling Inferior.

We could meet someone we immediately really dislike, and probably not know why.  Whoever suppressed our Genius probably started very early in our Lifetime, before we had developed much of an Identity and Memory, or even before we had collected enough Experience to even detect a difference.  So when we encounter a Mirror of our Programmers, we might simmer internally without knowing why.  So we may imagine that we don’t like them because “they’re one of those people who…”

Or, maybe we’ll meet someone whom we have an intense Desire to Please.  There’s a good chance we’re still Collaborating in the Suppression of our Genius,, and to the extent that’s True, someone who reminds us of our Programmers may seem like someone we need to Please.  Like Unconsciously falling in “love” with our Kidnappers.

So, if our Identity is Paying Attention, we could try, after we find a Safe Space and Time to do it in, Imagining ourself to be the person who Triggered us, and then watching to see what arises.  Even if you detect nothing, you may still have planted a few seeds in your Intuition, to sprout later.

Like John Said…

December 27, 2016

Remember Both/And; Truth is Different for each of us because Truth resides in the Heart, not in the mind’s Duality.  Even if this is not your Truth, it may be useful to you, as all New Perspectives are.  New Perspectives may help you Let Go of Judgment of Others, they may help you Let Go of Unconscious Limiting Beliefs, and they may Grow Corn for you in Unusual Circumstances.

  ♥    ♥    ♥    ♥    ♥    ♥    ♥  

2017, which is a Tenth-Harmonic (Abundance) Year, begins with dwarf planet Makemake Stationary.  A planet is at its Strongest when it’s Stationary.  The Essence of Makemake is Manifestation.  As John said…

http://suzanneliephd.blogspot.com/2016/12/it-is-now-arcturians-through-suzanne-lie.html

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EqP3wT5lpa4

But first we need to get past this week’s once-in-a-millennium Funfest.  Actually, though, since they’re co-incident, we need to interpret them as one astroevent.  How we Respond to this week will have a big Impact on how our Manifestation Skills shift in the New Year.  There are many Keys to that process…

(1) The Most Important Thing is inviting our Abandoned Genius to come Home.  Treat them like a Wild Animal that you’re trying to tame.  Offer them a Treat – like maybe an Open Heart to them, then step back and sit down, facing slightly away, so they don’t think you’re watching them (Change the Subject).  Then – sit quietly and Wait.  As long as it takes.  You can’t approach them directly.  You have to Demonstrate your Loving Kindness, Be Open and Inviting but Neutral and Non-Attached, and Let Them Approach You.  If you do that, they will come, you just don’t know how long it will take, so you need Patience.  

(2) You have Time, you don’t need to rush.  What you do need to do is to Show Them Consistency, and Avoid sudden moves that would Startle them.  Find your Space of Loving Kindness, and Apologize to your Abandoned Genius  for Allowing them be Banished from your Life.  Don’t Punish yourself, it was something you had to do in order to Survive at the Time, and your Safety was then paramount.  But Feel their Pain and Abandonment, over having been Banished all these years.  Then PIAVA that they Return to You, Let It Go, and send them Love.  Then after a while – several to many hours – check to see if you’ve Learned anything.  Then Do It Again.

(3) While you’re doing the Processes above and below, hold a Crystal or Jewel or Stone in your hand.  Choose one that you feel very Safe and Loving with.  If it’s wearable, great, wear it all week.  If not, keep it in a pocket if you can.  If it’s too big for that, put in a Sacred Space and Be There or Visualize it as you begin each of these Processes (do these whenever you think of it all week – constantly if possible!).  If you don’t have the perfect Crystal handy, gaze at this one…

Annabergite 3952 photo:J.Buss

Print it out (from http://www.jbuss.com/jbl4d/annabergite1.htm ) and carry it with you; that’s your Abandoned Genius sparkling there in the center, as It – that is, You, the Abandoned part of You – struggles to escape the maw that’s about to devour It – that is, You, your historical You.

(4) Be Compassionate with any Pain you Feel.  “You poor Sweetheart, you’re really hurting aren’t you.”  Then put your thoughts on something else.  After a while you can check in again to see if you’re still in Pain.  If you aren’t, spend a few minutes in Gratitude.  If you are still (or again) in Pain, give yourself another “You poor Sweetheart…”  When You are Hurting, that’s literally True – You Are Hurt.  When you give yourself a “You poor Sweetheart…” You aren’t Hurt any more, You Are Compassion.  And Empathy Heals.  

(5) You don’t have to Fix anything or Change anything, you just have to be Loving and Gentle with yourself.  It’s actually The Most Important Thing.  Ask yourself, “I Wonder what would happen if I Trusted that my own Empathy is Enough to Heal Myself.”  Don’t seek Answers, just stay in Wonder as long as you can.  If you want you can Imagine that it’s True, then look to see what your Inner Eye sees.  If you see Peace, you’re Golden.  If you see Trouble, Ask what you’re Feeling there, and give yourself another “You poor Sweetheart…” about that.  “You poor Sweetheart, you’re Feeling Doubt, aren’t you.”

(6) You are Learning a Paradox about how…

  • Self-Sovereignty (which includes Doing and Having What you Want)

is Related to… 

  • Being Truthful with Yourself about What you Fear

The Relationship isn’t Logical, so don’t try to make it so.  Imagine how you’ll Feel when you can Do and Have exactly what you Want to Do and Have, moment to moment.  Then Ask yourself if you have any Yes-Buts.  Take them one by one, and convert them to Yes-Ands.  This is a Paradox, remember, it doesn’t make sense.  Maybe something like… “I Have Complete Freedom and Abundance, Yes, And my Life is falling apart because I’m not honoring my ten zillion Commitments!”  Or… “I Have Complete Freedom and Abundance, Yes, And how am I treating other people?”  Then just Change the Subject.  Nothing to Solve, nothing to Fix, just another Paradox.  Trust a Perfect Unfoldment; you just See Through a Glass Darkly.

(7) Be on the lookout for Ego Death.  The Signs are Thinking “I’d rather Die” or “I’d do anything for Love, but I won’t do That,” Not recognizing the landmarks in your own neighborhood, Feeling Confused, Not being able to keep your regular schedule, Feeling like you’re just now meeting old friends or colleagues for the first time.  It’s like you’re a Walk-In, but you aren’t.  It’s Weird.  An Ego Death is actually an Ego Rebirth.  It’s exactly what you Crave.  Our natural Reaction is to do everything we can to Prevent a Death/Rebirth; you want to do everything you can to be Loving and Gentle with it.  You’re a Babe in Arms, put yourself to your Breast, rock, and coo.

(8) Every Memory, Flashback, Vignette, and Historical Flash you Receive is Significant.  This is what it’s about.  They’re all either…

  • Related to how you were before your “Betters” Abandoned/Abused you
  • Related to the chronic or acute Traumas that characterized or precipitated your Abandonment
  • Related to your resulting Lifetime Self-Abandonment
  • Related to the many episodes in your Life where you exercised your now-Habitual Self-Abandonment (any “If-Only-I’d-Have…” Flashbacks?)
  • Related to your Shoulds (which are all Self-Abandonments)
  • Related to the Limiting Beliefs and Karmic Archetypes that are Lit Up so you can become Conscious of them and Choose to Let them Go
  • Related to episodes of Genuine Self-Love and Self-Care (for Contrast)

Or several/many/ all of the above.

As we’ve said, these are Big Doin’s.

Makemake’s Exact Retrograde Station is at 3pm PST on 2 January.

(1) Abandoned Genius (AG) as The Most Important Thing (TMIT): Saturn/TMIT Conjunct Ixion/AG and Nemesis/Ego-Death Oppose dwarf planet Chaos/Unlimited-Potential, forming the base of a Chiron/Despair-and-Miracle T-Square/Challenge.  Saturn-Ixion Opposite Chaos and Jupiter-Haumea/Big-Rebirth Opposite Uranus-Ceres-Eris-Mnemosyne/Memories -to-make-our-True-Self-Sustainable form a  Golden Rectangle/Creative-Genius.

(2a) Having Time: Ixion Initiates Saturn 15 February in 25 Sagittarius.  Other closely related intermediate events:

  • Ixion Initiates Nemesis 6 January 25 Sagittarius
  • Juno Opposes Chaos 6 January
  • Juno Squares Chiron 7 January 
  • Saturn Initiates Juno 11 January 23 Sagittarius
  • Ixion Initiates Juno 19 January 26 Sagittarius
  • Jupiter Stationary Retrograde Conjunct Haumea 6 February 24 Libra

(2b) Survival/Safety: Moira/Fate Sextile Saturn-Ixion-Nemesis-Juno etc etc.

(3) Crystal: the Vacancy that completes the Chiron T-Square is 22 Virgo, A royal coat of arms rich in Precious Stones.  Annabergite is one of the few Crystalline Minerals that was Organically Alive just before it Crystalized.  The appropriate Heart color and dangerous positioning on this one is a convenient “coincidence.”  Or, you could use this Cluster (from http://www.jbuss.com/jbl4/tbam1878bp.htm ), with the Violet Flame:

(4) Compassion/Empathy: the Chiron T-Square.

(5) Wonder and Trust: the Tricolor Saturn-Ixion-Nemesis-Juno Square Chiron Quincunx Eurydike/Trust Trine Saturn-Ixion et al.

(6) Self-Sovereignty/Truth-Fear: Sedna-Aletheaia/Being-Truthful-about-our-Fear to Lilith/Self-Sovereignty Yin Gate/Mystery School embedded in the Golden Rectangle in (1).

(7) Ego Death: Jupiter/Amplification Conjunct Haumea/Rebirth, Uranus-Eris Stellium, Saturn-Ixion Stellium, etc etc etc.

(8) Flashbacks: Mnemosyne/Memories in the Uranus-Eris Stellium, Nemesis/Regret in the Saturn-Ixion Stellium, Aletheia/Truth on Sedna, etc etc etc.

Denying Versus Creating

November 21, 2016

I’m sure we’ve been through many times when the Contrast between What Is and What We Want has been so great that we’re thrown into Confusion over whether to Risk Denial by Focusing on What We Want, or to Reinforce the Nasties by Focusing on What Is.  But this certainly seems like one of the more Extreme times.

While it’s certainly Real, have you spotted what’s “wrong” with that paragraph?  For starters, two things…

  • Confusion is Good – it’s the first stage of Growth in Consciousness, it means that a few bars in our mental-Emotional Belief-Cage are loosening up; we just need to Enjoy Confusion as it is rather than trying to Resolve it intellectually
  • The paragraph is an Either/Or, a tell that we’re looking at intellectual Duality rather than Nondual Reality

Easier to see now that we’re out of the Storm, eh?  Still easier to say than do of course.

Here’s a snippet from another, very worthwhile view, from Brenda Hoffman…

Many continue to reel emotionally following the chaos of the past few days. Do not worry for such is no longer your natural state. It might take a few days to balance yourself, but you will. For you are no longer of 3D and your step back is merely a step back not a leap. You are healing parts of yourself you did not know were wounded.”

Find the rest at…

https://lifetapestrycreations.wordpress.com/2016/11/21/surface-wounds-clear-easily/

She agrees that Karma is Dead.

Thanks to both http://bluedragonjournal.com/ and https://soulspeak2013.wordpress.com/ for the tips.

Responsibility I

September 8, 2016

Debbie says…

“Please give us some info on that long list of aspects we have to take responsiblity for …”

and I agree completely!  Lots going on!  Or coming down.

If I did it all in one bite I wouldn’t be done till the events were herstory – which would be okay, since what we aim for is not Prediction, but Interpretation.  But I’ll do it in pieces anyway…

First, drop the Pattern of using “Responsible For” – it sounds to much like “Blame For” (Pholus).  Pholus got himself Dead because folks thought he was “Responsible For.”  Instead get in the Habit of using “Responsible to” – “Blame to” doesn’t make sense, so it’ll reduce your probability of Confusing the two.  Though of course, Confusion is Good, right?  When you’re Conscious of it and Accepting of it, you bet (Saturn-Neptune).  

If for instance you’re “Responsible For” not having enough money, you’ll waste your time trying to Anal-eyes what you did wrong to get stuck in that Dead End.  Anal-eyezing isn’t really a Dead End, but the next step afterward will get you Flushed.  But if you’re “Responsible to” not having enough money, you’ll Do and/or PIAVA something to Change it, then you won’t be there any more.  That may seem to violate the “Wherever you go, there you are” rule, but PIAVA can do Paradoxes like that, because it’s not constrained by those narrow Dualistic Either/Or rules.  It can do Both/And, easily.

Jupiter enters Libra (5am PDT 9/9).  Theoretically, the string of Ego Deaths will Lighten Up now, except that Libra means that we have to Meet Other, ie, Not-Me.  That can be so rife with Danger that it can Create its own kinds of Trauma.  

The Bottom-Line rule is “Safety First.”  Giving yourself Away is not Growth; it’s Self-Abandonment.  First, do whatever you need to do to keep your Identity intact.  Mirrors (imaginary wardrobe Mirror held up facing Other, whether they’re present or not) work well.  Then, once you’re Safe, you can try on the ill-fitting cloth they were seeming to recommend.  “I Wonder what I can Learn by trying that on.”  If it doesn’t fit, don’t wear it.  Our Primary assignment here is still Learning to Love our True Self, not trying to Please Other.

Rule #2 – don’t insult anyone without first Walking a mile in their shoes.  That way, when you do insult them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.

In a few weeks Jupiter will be Initiated by Makemake (Manifestation), which should greatly Potentiate our ability to PIAVA What we Want, or even, Goddess forbid, Work at it.  Just kidding, we need both PIAVA and Work – I just emphasize PIAVA to try in some small way to counteract the Culture’s overstress on Doing.  

And because with a little Practice you’ll be constantly Amazed at how Powerful PIAVA can be.  And I know you’re smart enough to gradually move toward 80% PIAVA and 20% Doing, in the process helping me put an end to this withering Patriarchy that’s rapidly Destroying your Planet.

Also, the Makemake-Jupiter Initiation takes place on the Supergalactic Center.  Whoa.  Turns out that our entire Milky-Way Galaxy, along with a bunch of other Galaxies, rotates around a Supergalaxy, and the Center of that Supergalaxy turns out to be at 2 Libra.  Talk about Meeting Other!  No wonder The Donald is so afraid of Aliens.

Jupiter is one of the Rays of the Big Five-Pointed Star (or “Grand Quintile”) in the Sky now.  That means, whatever happens, Ask yourself, “What am I Learning here?”  Pay Attention to the Answer you get.  Then go back and Pay closer Attention to any and all of the egoically incorrect Answers you rejected before you got that one.  This is what Growth-Expansion-Jupiter-Libra is really about.

Confusion and Leavia

June 25, 2016

This is very timely…

https://alchemicalastrology.wordpress.com/2016/06/25/pluto-teachings-on-impermanence/

Confusion is the first stage of Growth.

As Saturn Wanes toward Neptune over the next several years, we need to expect a Breakdown in the Definition (Saturn) of our Cultures (Neptune) that will require (Saturn) us all to shift our primary Perspective away from Matter and toward Spirit (Neptune). 

Someone on the BBC referred to Britain as being divided into two countries, Leavia and Remainia.  It’s amazing how much Fear-based propaganda is being thrown at Leavia – which I guess shouldn’t be surprising, since Remainia was a project of the Corporate Elites and their Fellow Travelers.  London was all Remainia – London is Britain’s “Wall Street.”  When do we get NAFTexit?

The Future hasn’t been Co-Created yet.  Our corner of it will be influenced greatly by what we PIAVA – including all those Unconscious and Semi-Conscious PIAVAs that we put out there under the guise of Anxiety.  Though it should help to Cancel, Neutralize, Upgrade those, and replace them as quickly as we can with PIAVAs for What We Do Want for ourself and for our role in the World.

“My power is over myself, is over how I learn to master myself.  Not about how I suppress my emotions but, more perhaps, about how I can work with these powerful energies.  CONSCIOUSLY.”

Yes, Power With ourself, not Power Over.  The difference is subtle and Powerful, critical for Co-Creating a desirable Future, and well described by Starhawk’s amazing and Life-Changing book Truth or Dare.  

Empathy with Self is fundamental.  “You poor Sweetheart, you’re feeling uncomfortable Emotions, aren’t you.  I Wonder what it would be like to Embrace them, to Locate them in my Body and put all of my Attention there, Lovingly and Gently.”  My own Response to doing this – when I remember to do it (Ay, there’s the rub, eh?!?), is a feeling of Ecstasy, though not always right away.  Maybe I can PIAVA to remember more often.

“It’s about finding ways to keep yourself centered so nothing (am I deluding myself?!) can throw you off balance.  Nothing!

Alas, we do need to be Vulnerable, and Embrace Confusion for itself, without trying to Change it.  Resistance to Vulnerability and Confusion is a serious Growth-preventing Limiting Belief.  Maybe we can resolve the apparent Contradiction by counting Both “Centered” And “Uncentered” as two distinct Emotions, and PIAVAing “how to work with these powerful energies Consciously” so we can build new Patterns that will allow us to Embrace them both automatically, before they throw us off Balance enough that we can’t Recover our Grounding in a short time.

“Feeling fearful or anxious won’t make any situation better.”

No, but we do need to Embrace our Fear as a valid Emotion (and Tap it out when it Feels Overwhelming – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QzVd6Ww0as4 ).  And Learn to quickly recognize Anxiety as mental noise that keeps us from Feeling uncomfortable Emotions, so we can get right to work Learning how to Lovingly and Gently Embrace those Emotions, Rapidly and Completely.

Yintegrity Rising

June 23, 2016

A reader writes…

I don’t think they are happy with me.  I am not following their tradition and I’m not sure what the impact of that will be, but I don’t care!  I’m not doing what I should, I’m doing what I want.  And that is SO different for me.

“I’ve always been the analyze/plan/execute person.  I do my duty.  I fulfill my promises.  If I commit, I follow through.  Period.  No doubt.  No question.  I guess what you would call “Yangtegrity.”  And it has served me well.  Very well.  For my whole life.

“Over the past…18 months, two years, there’s been a growing resistance to all of it!  I don’t even want to show up half the time!  (I’ve always taught my kids-Showing up is 80% of success.)  My intellect is so confused, my ego is having panic attacks.  Is this moving into Yintegrity?  

“There’s a third part of me that is very calmly standing by, reassuring that we’ll work out a new way of functioning, everything will be fine, the earth will not stop spinning on its axis.  So is that the pressure and fear I’m feeling?  The shift into Yintegrity?”

You bet!!  

And like any Big Change, there’s a hollow space, a gap, where our Olde Ego is in Lackawanna (“I know I’m done for; why should I care?”), and our New Ego hasn’t got its training wheels on straight yet.  So we’re wobbly.  Confusion is good; it’s a reliable sign that we’re Growing.  Anxiety is common, as our Olde Patriarchy-Attuned Egos needed to know what was going on so they could figure out who to Please how, when.

Time for PIAVAs.  “Great Spirit, please help me Trust my True Future so I can Surrender my False Past more comfortably” or the like.  “I wonder where the Hell I’m going, anyway.”  With Saturn Waning Square to Neptune and moving into the Void Space between them, The Most Important Thing (Saturn) is Confusion (Neptune).  Neptune symbolizes Confusion when viewing the World through Material Eyes, and Clarity when we shift to Spiritual Eyes.  “Ganeshi, please Remove all Obstacles to Opening my Third Eye.”

 Another timely story…

https://alchemicalastrology.wordpress.com/2016/06/21/professionautism/

Love the title – ProfessionAutism.  I read it as Professionalism twice before I noticed the Aut.  In another post she says Pluto is on her Moon – I don’t know of any greater Emotional Challenge.  A perfect time to “hang loose,” but not even that is easy under Pluto-Moon.  “God/Goddess, Creator of All That Is, I Command that Ease and Grace fill my Life.  It Is Done, It Is Done, It Is Done.  Thank you, God/Goddess. … Show me.”

That’s a simplified form of Theta Healing.  Once you say “Show me,” look to see whether your Vision or other Intuitive Sense shows you bathed in Ease and Grace.  If not, look to see what else you need to Command.  Maybe Trust, or Enough to Eat, or just Breathing.

When the World, or your Community, or just your Household or Camp, operates through Yintegrity, the whole World is different.  People do things when they want to, and when someone resents something not being done, it’s up to them to recognize that it’s their job to do.  Or their job to inspire (not require or bully) someone else to do it, maybe as a group project where participation is of course optional – you would join or not because, in the moment, it’s more fun than doing otherwise.  

The Most Important Thing gets done, even if it’s not what you thought was The Most Important Thing.  Between the Waning Saturn Square to Neptune and the next Initiation, Cultures break down.  The next Neptune-Saturn Initiation isn’t until 2026, six years into the Digital Age.  It’s at the Aries Point – Manifestation into (Feminine) Form.  Aries Creates by Instinct, not by having a picture beforehand of the “finished” product.  Creating and “finishing” are two different Universes, with only accidental intersections.

Here’s a picture of it anyway – it’s not a “finished” picture, but a picture of the Yintegrity process unfolding…

https://cristenrodgers.net/2016/06/23/speak-your-truth-not-your-mind/

I would suggest though, that “The ways in which Other Living Things can speak may also be almost infinite – the truth or a lie, clearly or in riddles, with language or with art.”  We maybe just haven’t heard them yet, till we get our Third Eye – or Ear – Open.  And that Everything is Living.

And, Saturn runs a Gauntlet of Initiations before it gets back to Neptune – Ixion, Pholus, Quaoar, the Galactic Center, Chariklo, Hylonome, Pluto. OR10, and Nessus!  Saturn will be a very different Animal by then, and we will be too.  Sounds like this Gauntlet would be worth a post of its own, eh?

And we didn’t even notice that Saturn was Initiated by the Great Attractor this last February, with an Exposition in May!  The Great Attractor is Headquarters to the Galactic Center – Cosmic HQ.  No wonder it’s been a heavy year so far, as if we haven’t had enough excuses!  We’re being asked to align ourselves with an Energy more Powerful than even Galactic Energy.

Still Fuzzy, but Powerful

June 15, 2016

Hope you got your PIAVAs registered into the Great Logbook in the Ether on Monday and Tuesday.  I did, and you’re about to read part of the result.  It’s not really too late; they’ll be a little less Powerful, but still very Strong.

(1)  Our CAO and I agree that Things are still Fuzzy, and will likely remain so for a couple more days.  Use this Energy to continue to Clear Limiting Beliefs – whenever any of your historical “Failures” or Discouragements or Dissatisfactions arise, recognize it as an Opportunity to Let Go of that Limiting Belief.  

We build Karma through Repetition.  Each time you reinforce your sense of Failure or Discouragement or Dissatisfaction around some apparently recurring Pattern, you reinforce the Negative Belief.  Each time you recognize…

Aha!  That was the result of a Negative Belief, and I don’t need to hold on to that any more!

you reinforce your Freedom from that Limiting Belief.

(1)  With Neptune still Stationary, the Waning Exposition Saturn-Neptune Square is exact around 9pm PDT 17 July, and the Moon crosses Saturn around 6pm PDT 18 July.  As for the Can-Opener…

We worked this over pretty thoroughly in Nep Tunes, Pisces, and Saturn last November, during the first occurrence of this repeat astroevent; a review would be very useful…

https://astrobuss.wordpress.com/2015/11/17/nep-tunes-pisces-and-saturn/

This recurrence will trigger our Unconscious Beliefs, and our Intuition will be very available to help us identify and catalog them as Beliefs rather than Facts of Life or Karma.

(2)  There’s an excellent chance that your Frustrations are about your Deepest Desires.  Don’t Reject them, Embrace them.  I know, there’s a million Yes-Buts; replace each one with a Yes-And.  For example…

Yes-But it’s always been that way.  Yes-And let’s start Changing that right now!

Yes-But I’m not _____ enough to pull that off.  Yes-And I don’t need to be _____ enough because I really only need (one)(a few) people to Support me.

Yes-But it’ll rock so many boats that are important to me.  Yes-And all I really need to do is PIAVA Both my Deepest Desires And stable boats.

Yes-But, that will Violate my Values.  Yes-And my Values and Deepest Desires can Converge, as they both Adapt to each other, if I’m willing to let that happen.

Yes-But, the Contradictions drive me crazy.  Yes-And, Contradictions are only possible in a Duality, and the Universe is Unitary and Multifarious.  A Contradiction in the Mind is just a Mirror for a Paradox in the Real World, and a Paradox just means I need to Expand my Limiting Concepts to Let It Be as It Is.

Never forget that our Deepest Desires are Funhouse Mirrors for our Mission in the Lifetime.  They’re Bottom Line to our Life.  We just haven’t Expanded enough yet to Grok just how they fit together.  But we’re working on it!  It’ll help to recall that Confusion is the first sign of Growth, and that Curiosity will make your Live nine times as good as Judgment will.

We don’t know how our Lives will unfold.  But we know that we’re drawn inexorably toward our Deepest Desires and our Mission.  Our Hero’s and Heroine’s Journey (or Heroin Journey if we chose that route) is the story of how we Bridge the Gap between them.

(2)  Saturn is Opposed by Vesta (Unconscious Beliefs) and Asbolus (Intuition), making a T-Square Focused on Neptune.  If you want an Energy to Balance the T-Square (ie, complete the Grand Cross), it’s easily available – Jupiter-North Node, Expanding into our Mission and Deepest Desires.