As there were at the end of January, there are two Big-Deal Portals coming up, one on Sunday-becoming-Monday (2/24), and the other on Monday-becoming-Tuesday (2/25). That’s in addition to a Mercury Station turning Retrograde on Friday-becoming-Saturday (2/23), and a Full Moon on Monday. Our first Big Deal, the 2.24 Portal, is a Grand Quintile that threatens to illuminate a good deal of our Self-Rejection. It’s important that we stay alert and reject our habit of believing the line of Bullshit behind our Self-Rejection. He also talks a bit about how astrology and Human psychology interact to keep us out of the Present Moment and hence out of our Power.
The Heavy Weekend
He’s already talked about Saturday’s Mercury Station. It’s probably good that Mercury’s Retrograde while the rest of the weekend happens, since we’ll be more inclined to think it over rather than just living it and taking it for granted.
He’ll talk about Monday’s Full Moon a bit later; for now, realize that since the two Big Deals he’s about to discuss bracket the Full Moon, we could feel their impact for several weeks. Mostly they’re short and intense – “Portals” is an apt word – but they could tint our spectacles for longer. Astrological events usually rise to a peak and then fade quickly. When they linger, it’s often because of two phenomena, one astrological and one mental.
First, the event can take place very near the Initiation of an astrological Cycle, and hence color the entire Cycle. Initiations are normally Conjunctions, but there are more subtle Cycles begun at other points as well, particularly Oppositions like the Full Moon. As we discovered last fall while descending into the End-of-the-World-as-We-Then-Knew-It, the Full Moons can carry a lot more weight than the New Moons. Conjunction-Initiations may not even be consciously felt by those who aren’t sensitive to the Energy of the Initiation, although Non-Sensitives are often deeply invested in Resistance to the Energy as expressed by the Sensitives!
Oppositions are about Awareness, so it’s common for Oppositions to introduce apparent dichotomies to Consciousness, accompanied by potential for Growth in Consciousness. For instance, a New Moon in Aries makes no sense even to Arians, because it’s a creative spark without tinder, but an Aries-Libra Opposition, whoa, that makes it clear as a bell that there’s Me and then there’s You. That can blow up a lot of Projections and Introjections. This Full Moon is a Virgo-Pisces Opposition, where we get to differentiate between old memories that need to be Blessed and sent on their way, and old actions for which we need to make Amends. So the impact of the two Big Deals may linger because they embrace this Full Moon.
Second, we can make Decisions under the influence of the event, and those Decisions can change our life for a while, and quite possibly for a long while. For instance, a common Decision that might be made in our childhood under the influence of strong Virgo elements in the sky or in our horoscope or in our environment, is that We Aren’t Worth Much. Strong Leo Energies might lead on the other hand to Decisions more like Hey, I’m Pretty Neat. Of course we’re talking about human psychology here, and since only the mind is dualistic, we expect to see the opposite of what’s indicated almost as often as we see the indicated. Decisions like these will have serious impact on the rest of our lives.
For instance, in the Diamond Star (Portal 2.25) below and the Full Moon, Chiron and the Sun Square Vesta. Well, Chiron represents Miracles, but only if we have New Eyes to see through the Veil that covers our Birdcage. Without New Eyes, Chiron represents Despair, because from the perspective of our Limitations, Chiron represents the Unhealable Healer, or Problems that do not have Solutions. Vesta symbolizes What We Hold Sacred. So if we are in Despair that what we hold Sacred has been irretrievably despoiled, we might easily question whether there is anything left that is worth living for. The Square Challenges us to find New Eyes, but we may not, or we may not find them in time.
If we make Decisions based on our Despair, then that Energy can linger until we unmake the Decisions, and that can be a looong time, sometimes many lifetimes. Karma, that’s called. On the other hand, some Decisions are healthy, even Decisions based on Despair. For instance, if we’re in our fifties and still holding on to the Relationship fantasies that our raging hormones created when we were sixteen, the Decision that
It’s too late, we’ve missed that and the opportunity will never return!
is a healthy release that frees us to Dream more age-appropriate Relationship scenarios – that is, to seek New Eyes beyond the bars of our Birdcage.
Bottom line, while it’s appropriate to consider the following two Big Deals as Portals, opportunities for us to emerge into a World of Higher Dimension, it also behooves us to keep in mind that “this too shall pass.” As Portals, it would be useful to Meditate through them with our Inner Eye wide open. As Moments, it will be useful for us to maintain the position of the Observer. Oh My, look what She or He is experiencing! rather than Oh Shit, I feel like that again!
The Grand Quintile
Portal 2.24, which is in full glory for five or six hours starting about 8pm PST on Sunday, is the Grand Quintile we see below. If you’re sensitive to the Energy, it could begin earlier and end later – by as much as a day or two.
Lovely, isn’t she? Quintiles are about Learning and Teaching. When we Learn something New, the bars in our Cage come loose, and at the very least we’ll experience Confusion, if not Fear (the whole reason for our Birdcage is Safety), or some other feeling like Anger. If Confusion isn’t Safe, and our Boundaries are dissolving, Anger is an appropriate emotion, as it prepares us to Defend.
Like Despair, Confusion is a Red Flag that tells us Miracles are just behind the Hedge.
We just need to know where to find our New Eyes. One of the best ways to do that is Surrender. Not as in Giving Up, but as in Giving Over. Let Go and Let Goddess. We don’t find Miracles where the Light is better, we find Miracles where we dropped our keys. An excellent place for PIAVA.
So who’s dancing in this lovely Hexagram? Uranus, Saturn, Lilith, Juno, and the Moon…
- Uranus (our Soul Connection, Yin Integrity on a macro scale),
- Saturn (Focus, Discipline),
- Lilith (the Deep Feminine),
- Juno (Unconscious Identity), and the
- Moon (Authenticity, Yin Integrity on a micro scale).
Pair them up – we’re Learning to
- Be Disciplined about our Yin Integrity
- Collaborate with our Soul Connection
- Align our Yin Integrity with our Unconscious Identity
- Act Out who we Really Are
- Focus on Collaboration and Community
- Make a Habit of Discipline
- Bring Consistency to expression of our True Self
- Stop Self-Sabotage
- Stop covering up our Feelings
- Be Honest with Ourself
Then the trios…
- Align our Yin Integrity with our Discipline
- Be compassionate with gaps in that Alignment
- Be Honest about our Integrity and our gaps
- Be Disciplined about rooting out Resentments
- Focus on promoting our Truth
- Let It All Hang Out
And the foursomes…
- Focus on locating programming that’s not aligned with our True Self and loving it to death
- Stop restraining our actions, so that they reveal this programming
- Use theater to explore these edges
- Use theater to practice acting out our True Self
- Let It All Hang Out
And finally the whole Grand Quintile in all its fiveness…
We all have misalignments between our programming (Juno) and our Yin Integrity (Uranus). That’s the basis of self-sabotage. If we allow ourselves to Act Out without restraining ourselves (Moon), while Paying Attention (Saturn), it will illuminate these misalignments. It will help if we solicit collaborative friends (Lilith) to witness and help interpret. Then we can be Disciplined (Saturn) about being Honest (Moon) about these misalignments of ours, as they are likely to be self-correcting if we maintain our Attention and Honesty.
It is important to maintain Collaboration (Lilith) between
- our current-moment Observer,
- our True Self (what we’re unquestioningly proud of taking to our grave), and
- our Karma and programming,
as it is Love that Heals. We are a Community, these three of us, bound by flesh and herstory, and it is only by supporting one another unwaveringly that we thrive. Like King Solomon ordering the disputed child to be cut in half, we die without one another. When any of these three of us goes into Competition or Judgment, we sabotage ourselves.
Now, most of us feel poorly when we sense misalignment, because we were programmed to feel Guilt or Shame when we misbehaved, and misalignment feels like misbehavior. We confuse Who We Are with How We Behave because we are trapped in a Culture where Doing trumps Being. So we feel Shame about Who We Are, which is the ultimate Self-Betrayal. And not by accident – those who had Power over us, and those who want Power over us, have a much easier job when they can find our Shame. It turns out that Self-Betrayal is precisely what we need to Heal if we are to squeeze through these post-End-of-World Portals into a Wider Universe – as well as what we need to Heal if we are to discover our New-Paradigm Community and thrive within it.
So what do we need to do to survive a Grand Quintile, Ultimate-Learning-Opportunity Portal? We need to be watchful for Confusion, Fear, Shame, and Guilt, and tap them out. We need to be Relentless (Saturn in Scorpio is nothing if not Relentless) about refusing to depart from uncompromising Self-Love. We do that by “going meta,” or moving our Sense of Self outside of our current Self, so we can look back at ourself with Compassion.
You poor Dear, you really feel like Shit, don’t you! Let me hug you and comfort you, because I Love you dearly!
Keep stepping outside of Yourself until you can be genuine about that, and you feel the shift in your feelings. We are Onions of many layers.
Which brings us back to Responsibility. A friend recently advised that they see “Responsibility as an Answer-to-Conscience, i.e. looking at life thru the lens of the Higher Self” rather than the distinction he was using – Responsibility looking to the future, Blame looking toward the past. Yes, that is perfect, as long as our Higher Self and our Operating Self are aligned. But that’s not fully the case for most of us. Most of us have places where, if we aren’t in Blame per se, we’re in if-only mode, If only my childhood had been different, for instance.
Blame, along with its various subspecies, is a Universe unto itself – a Black Hole for a Birdcage. If you apply a “moral” argument like Answering to Conscience to a person living in Blame, what you get is Anger, and appropriately so, because you aren’t supporting their Operating Self, and their Operating Self is always doing the best they can with the resources they have at that moment. Consider disease. You take Responsibility for disease not by questioning how you’ve been contrary to Conscience (past), or even by correcting behavior that may be contrary to Conscience (present), but by devoting whatever resources you have available to the tasks of seeking possible causes and testing ways to change habits to see if the change addresses the causes effectively – you Act in the future-becoming-present. You take Responsibility to change the future.
This approach, by the way, is adapted from Gay Hendricks and Kate Ludeman’s wonderful book The Corporate Mystic: A Guidebook for Visionaries with Their Feet on the Ground.
He doesn’t routinely use the concept of Conscience because more often than not, Conscience is part of our programming, not part of our True Self. He’s heard people say that Integrity is never doing anything that would make you feel Guilty. To him that’s not Integrity, that’s the bars on our Birdcage. And it’s especially not Yin Integrity (Uranus), which means always doing what you damn well feel like doing in the moment – while making Amends whenever appropriate. Obviously if Yin Integrity includes cruelty, then that’s a fabulous topic for our theater exploring the edges of our misalignments. The Perennial Wisdom tells him that the True Self is Loving. And if we can be Loving with ourselves exactly where we are at any and every given moment, then he doesn’t think there’s more that we can ask for.
Now yes, a case can be made for Karma as retribution – that if we always followed our Conscience there would be no disharmony to manifest. And if by Conscience you mean the voice of the Higher Self, as suggested, then of course the notion is worthy. But how many of us actually routinely channel our Higher Self, as opposed to channeling the introjected voices of the Significant Others who taught us how to behave in our tender and impressionable youth? For most of us, Conscience is programmed by our culture. In the language he grew up in, it’s not his Conscience that speaks for his Higher Self, it’s his Intuition, and yes, he does self-sabotage when he ignores his Intuition.
So he thinks we’re using different words to express the same thing. However, teaching someone to Answer to their Intuition is much harder than teaching someone to Answer to their Conscience – you’re talking Psychic Training, rather than Sunday School. So the idea of Answering to Intuition is not what you teach, it’s what you hope to have taught. And Answering to their Intuition would have little value in helping someone molt out of a Blame Universe, since their Intuition would always be bumping up against their Blame, with no instruction about how to resolve the boundary, except to hope for a Grand Quintile. Responsibility as Future Action does have potential to break someone free from Blame, by demonstrating that there is an alternative.
On Clear Quartz, probably Tibetan – Lead Iron Antimony Sulfide, heavy iridescent needle-crystals. Antimony helps keep our thinking clear when we’re faced with heavy emotions, and actually facilitates following our Inner Voice, by any name. Iron promotes honesty and gives us the Energy and motivation to finish unfinished business. Lead provides Discipline, and can free us from Despair. Sulfur illuminates our Shadow and paves the path to reconciliation. Jamesonite can Heal defects in DNA and reorient misalignments that began with our Ancestors. Very timely – as well as being a great visual image of how held Emotions clog our microtubules and blind our access to the Zero Point Field and it’s wealth of information, including the Akashic Records.
What’d He Say?
Sunday’s 2.24 Portal is about getting our Soul Connection, our Discipline, our Collaboration, our Habit Patterns, and our Moment-to-Moment Authenticity all into alignment. That may not be something we can finish in a weekend, but on the other hand, we do aver that Miracles are hiding just behind the Hedgerow.
Next – Portal 2.25, the Diamond Star on the far side of the Full Moon.