Archive for the ‘Blame and Responsibility’ Category

Next Up: Responsibility

March 26, 2017

As we said earlier, both of the last two weeks of March are Heavy.  We’ve already introduced the 3/27 New Moon, at…

https://astrobuss.wordpress.com/2017/03/24/big-weeks-iii

Our next big Adventure is about Responsibility, as dwarf planet and Centaur Pholus Stands Still at 1am PDT 28 March, five hours after the New Moon.  A planet is at its Strongest when it Stands Still, and the New Moon will stretch Pholus-Stationary Energy over several weeks afterward.

I doubt that we can explain the difference between Blame and Responsibility too often.  In a Nutshell, Blame looks backward to Assign Cause, while Responsibility looks forward to Change Outcomes.  Yes, there may be some backward-looking to seek potential levers to facilitate Future Change, but it will be incidental.  

Blame is a Universe unto itself, a Closed System.  Like Cause and Effect, when you’re inside the Bubble, you can’t see out of it.  People who can’t see beyond the opaque Wall of Blame often misinterpret the need for Responsibility as “New Age Guilt,” especially as it applies to dis-ease.  Taking Responsibility for our own Health has nothing to do with who or what causes dis-ease.  It has to do with what we do about it in the Future.

In the Greek Iconography, Pholus met his demise as a result of failing to Attend to what was in retrospect The Most Important Thing, and for taking only partial Responsibility for it.  So when we look into the Unconscious for parallels to Pholus what do we find?  While it may be Conscious Disregard, it’s more often Lack of Awareness itself.

If my Bones ache from eating Gluten two days earlier, it may not be easy to make the Connection.  If my sinuses flush from eating Sugar, will I believe I’m coming down with a cold and, through my thoughts and Emotional response, actually Create a cold?  It’s not like there are ever any shortages of cold germs – it’s my Vulnerability that can make the difference, including my Emotional Vulnerability.

With an Infinity of factors to Take Responsibility for, how do we Discover or Decide which ones to Pay Attention to, and which ones are The Most Important – especially since becoming Conscious of an Infinity of factors sounds impossible?  We hone our Intuition; it’s the only tool we have that can cover the waterfront.  

Long ago when I studied Time Management, the bottom line was that it was necessary to always have a handle on, and Attend to, The Most Important Thing.  What they didn’t Teach, but what was obvious to me, was that in order to know what The Most Important Thing is, we need to keep our Intuition sharp.  And in order to sense any relevant Intuition, we’d need to be Relaxed.  So it turns out that The Most Important Thing is to be Relaxed.

For which PIAVA is well suited – if we Trust it.  “The Gods” don’t appreciate it if we PIAVA the same thing over and over again without first Changing the Subject, Paying Attention, and adjusting our PIAVA accordingly.  So Trusting that our PIAVAs are in the right queue is important.  Luckily, asteroid Eurydike, which symbolizes Trust, Stands Still at 2am PDT on 1 April (no foolin’), so we get good practice here.

So with Pholus Standing Still our best bet may be to PIAVA something on the order of…

“Great Spirit, please Grant me Clarity around The Most Important Thing I need to Take Responsibility for, and Help me know how to do it best.”

“I Wonder how I might Always Pay Attention to my Intuition and Take Full Responsibility for Acting accordingly.”

On 31 March (2am PDT), dwarf planet Quaoar Stands Still.  Pholus and Quaoar have been traveling together for a long time, and their Stations have been near-simultaneous, and near to the Galactic Center.  Quaoar is about our Survival Guidance.  When the World is Stable, Survival Guidance comes from the Ancestors.  When the World is Changing Rapidly, as it is now, we also need our Intuition.

We’re also aided here by Saturn, which in turn Stands Still on 5 April (10pm PDT).  That’s more than a week away, with two other Stations in between, so normally we’d keep our focus on the near term.  But Saturn is actually Stationary as we speak, within two arcminutes of its ultimate Station.  I have no doubt that this is why we’ve been called to talk a lot about The Most Important Thing, which is Saturn’s Mantra.

We don’t like to Abandon our Secondary Priorities, because they’re our Fallbacks should our First Priority encounter difficulty.  But when Saturn is Lit Up, the message is that our Backup Priorities will Take Care of Themselves for a while, so we don’t need to worry about putting them on the back shelf – they’ll be waiting for us when we get around to picking them up again.

So this week the program tells us that The Most Important Thing is to Trust that all Prayers are answered while we PIAVA to have our Intuition working flawlessly to keep us Informed about what we need to Take Full Responsibility For in order to ensure our Survival, and how to accomplish exactly that.

Now, bear in mind (it’s part of PIAVA actually) that when we are ready to Receive, the Universe gives us exactly what we Need.  When we aren’t ready to Receive, the Universe gives us Information about Why We Aren’t Ready.  So yes, we Trust our PIAVAs, but when they don’t seem to “deliver,” we Take Full Responsibility for Paying Attention to see what they did deliver, because whatever that was, it contains the Information we need to adjust our PIAVA so we Ask for what we are ready to Receive.

Theta Healing is particularly good at this, because it can provide instant feedback, so we don’t need to wait a day or so after Changing the Subject, before we Pay Attention.  A Theta Healing might be…

“God/Goddess, Creator of All That Is, I Command that I Receive Clarity around The Most Important Thing I need to Take Responsibility For, and how to do exactly that.  It Is Done, It Is Done, It Is Done.  Thank You!  [Breathe]  Show me!”

When you Command “Show Me!” you should See the Clarity being “Delivered” – or, you may Feel it or Know it or Hear it, or Automatic-Write it – whatever Channel your Intuition works best in.  Or, you’ll See or Feel what else you need to add to your PIAVA.  For instance, you might Feel a sense of Inadequacy, and need to modify your PIAVA to something like…

“God/Goddess, Creator of All That Is, I Command that I am Worthy of Receiving Clarity around The Most Important Thing I need to Take Responsibility For and how to do exactly that, and that I Receive it.  It Is Done, It Is Done, It Is Done.  Thank You!  [Breathe]  Show me!”

January, Week 2, Early

January 8, 2017

We are all Perps as much as we are Victims.  We are always In Balance; what Feels Out of Balance is Balanced by the Unconscious.  As a Victim, at the very least we are Perpetrating a toxic Lack of Self-Love upon our Victim Self.  Moving into Balance involves bringing the Unconscious Ballast into Consciousness.  We do that with a Searching and Fearless Inventory of what Frightens us – most especially Death, since most Fears reduce to that – Owning our Fears, and Empathizing with ourselves over them: “You poor Sweetheart, you’re really Scared of Death, aren’t you.”

That does two things; it gets us Honest with ourself so we no longer have to Protect ourself against what we Deny and Fear.  And it shifts our “Assemblage Point,” or Identity, from being in Fear to being in Compassion.  Examine the syntax…  

“I am Scared” literally means that Fear and I are Merged as One.

“I Feel Scared” means that I have Separated myself from my Fear far enough that I now Recognize it as an Emotion rather than a Reality.

“You poor Sweetheart, you’re Scared, aren’t you” means that I am now looking back at my (now formerly) Frightened self with Compassion.  You can shorten that last sentence to “I am … Compassion.”

This isn’t wordplay, this is quite Real.

Then we Tap ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QzVd6Ww0as4 ).  “Even though I’m Frightened by the Idea of Death, I deeply and completely Love and Accept myself.”  It’s the same process – your Identity Assemblage Point is shifting from “I am Fear” to “I am Feeling” to I am Self-Love.”  But with Tapping, you’re also programming your Energy Body, as you tap on the Acupressure points at the end of each Meridian.

Note that we took a detour there.  Instead of “Even though I’m Frightened by Death, I deeply and completely Love and Accept myself” we said “… I’m Frightened by the Idea of Death …” – which is actually usually the case.  So we go from “I am Fear” to “I am Thinking” to “I am Feeling” to “I am Self-Love.”

The two processes – “You poor Sweetheart…” and Tapping complement one another perfectly.  Tapping is Energy Medicine to calm your Emotions.  Calming your Emotions quiets the Vicious Circle of Thoughts that reinforce your Unpleasant Emotions.  “You poor Sweetheart…” puts you – your Identity, your Psychic Core – in a position to Recover the Abandoned parts of yourself that are Scared.  They’re Scared for good reason – they’ve been Abandoned, Banished.  Except in Primary Cultures where one Learns Self-Reliance as part of one’s Childhood, being Abandoned means Death.

Saying “Cancel, Neutralize, Upgrade” to yourself is similar, but starts in the mental.  You’re declaring your Intention (PIAVAing in other words) that your negative thoughts be Canceled, that their Vibration (Energy, Emotion) be Neutralized, and that you be Upgraded (into Self-Love).  Every Prayer is answered, and every thought is a Prayer.  Becoming Conscious of your Self-Sabotaging thoughts is an important part of bringing the Self into Balance so your Perp and your Victim Cancel one another Out like two identical sine waves that are perfectly out of phase ( if you’re interested in the science, see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Superposition_principle#Wave_interference ).

Helplessness and Powerlessness are Real, and it’s easy to be Victims of Helplessness and Powerlessness.  What is required is that we Be Responsible To – not For – our Helplessness and Powerlessness.

It’s not our Fault – that’s Blame, which is Looking to the Past to assign Fault.  We need to move to Responsibility, which involves Looking at the Future with the Intention of Changing Outcomes.  To be Responsible For something sounds a whole lot like being To Blame for it.  To be Responsible To something means that  we give it our Attention and Obedience.  What does it mean to be Responsible To our Powerlessness?

We can start by switching from “I am Powerless” to “I Feel Powerless.”  From there we can go to “You poor Sweetheart, you’re really Feeling Powerless, aren’t you.”  We may never have the Power to Change the World (though that’s debatable), but we always have the Power to Change our Relationship to the World.  Changing ourself is the onliest Power we have.  So we’re never actually Powerless.  

We may have to Break a lot of Habits and Tap Out a lot of Emotions to Create Significant Change, but we have the Power.  We just have to take the first step.  That’s how Habits are Changed, through Repetition, starting with the first step.

As adults, most of the time our Fear of Abandonment (which our Fear of Death usually reduces to) isn’t fully Present Time – though at least in the US, our modern neo-Dickensian Culture is in fact Abandoning us.  Most of our Fear of Abandonment is a regression to the Real Abandonment we Suffered as Children, when we really didn’t have the Skills to Survive on our own, so we had to depend upon our Abusers, even though we loathed our Abuse.

But guess what.  Even though we didn’t have the Power to Change our Abuse or our Abusers, we did have the Power to Change our Relationship to our Abuse, and we did just that.  We numbed out, we went into Denial, we Learned how to put on many of the Masks that we’ve been Taking Off lately.  Denial is a healthy psychological process.  It’s what we do with Overwhelm.  If we don’t have the Skill to deal with it otherwise, we Deny it.  It’s how we Survive, losing a battle but staying Alive to potentially win the war later.

Denial is Power, part of our Skillset.  So is bringing Ballast out of the Unconscious so we can Change our Relationship to it.  We Denied our Abandonment as Children, we Recover our Abandonment as adults, by bringing it into Consciousness where we can Recognize the chain of thoughts and Emotions that feed it, Own them, “You poor Sweetheart…” them, Cancel-Neutralize-Upgrade them, and Tap them Out.  Not always Easy, but we have to start somewhere.  It requires only Persistence, and our Abandonment is the best Motivation there is for Persistence.

We didn’t mention earlier that before it goes Stationary in a few hours (2am PST 8 January), Mercury sticks a toe back into Sagittarius.  There in the penultimate Degree of Sagittarius, it Conjoins Quaoar (Survival), Pholus (Full Responsibility), and the Galactic Center (Communique from Headquarters) – that’s where it is as I write this.

Another thing I forgot to mention, as by “coincidence” I didn’t notice it till now, is that Vesta (Unconscious Beliefs) is still Conjunct Varuna (the Life Force), which has dipped its toe back into Cancer.  So the Mercury Station is Quincunx (Curiosity) to Vesta-Varuna – in some Paradoxical and not-so-Paradoxical ways, our Epiphanies (Mercury Stationary) about Survival and Responsibility (Quaoar-Pholus) are closely Related to Letting Go of our Unconscious Beliefs that are Anti-Life -Beliefs that aren’t Self-Loving.

Remember too that Vesta was a corner of that Grand Quintile (Learning Opportunity) that we’re enjoying today.  So the GQ is…

  • Vesta-Varuna (Rooting out Anti-Life Unconscious Beliefs)
  • Hopi (Respect for All Things – including ourself)
  • Juno-Saturn-Ixion-Nemesis (Recovery of our Abandoned Genius and the Ego Deaths and Expansion of Consciousness that are necessary to get there)
  • Pallas-Venus-OR10-Nessus-South Node (Irruption of Current- and Past-Life Memories of Abuse and the Setting of Boundaries against same)
  • Moon (Authenticity)

We’re Learning about how all of these things are Related.  How long does this Grand Quincunx stay with us?  Well, the Moon is the obvious “weak link,” as moving about half a Degree per hour, it will only stay in the GQ for about half a day (using our usual three Degrees of Sensitivity, plus another three Degrees to traverse the Angle to the Ixion and Nessus Stellia).

But even without the Moon in the GQ, we have four of the five corners of the Pentagram, which makes the Strongest point of the almost-GQ the Vacancy that the Moon temporarily occupies today.  

That position is the Midpoint of Taurus, one of the four Power Points of the Zodiac, aka the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.  Prior to our current Precession of the Equinoxes, these were the locations of the four Royal Stars of Persia.  In mid-Taurus Aldebaran, greatest Star of all, heralded the Persian Spring, and signified Success as long as strict Integrity and Honor was followed – our Authenticity corner in the GQ.

Today, post-Precession, the Star Menkar – A Victim of the Unconscious – occupies the Midpoint of Taurus.  I’m not making this up; check Solar Fire or Bernadette Brady!  What a “coincidence,” that [Liberation from] our Victimhood by the Perp in the Unconscious occupies this Location.  The Unconscious is non-Dual; in the Unconscious Victimhood and Liberation from Victimhood are the same Energy, differing only by whether heads or tails is showing.  As Conscious Beings we have the Power to Choose, so I Choose Liberation.

The other “weak link” in the GQ is asteroid Hopi.  As an asteroid, it would normally vacate its position in about two weeks.  But Hopi turns Retrograde on 24 January, so Hopi remains within Sensitivity from December through February at the very least.  There are very slow-moving “planets” in all of the other corners – Varuna, Ixion, OR10, and Menkar, which moves only at the speed of Precession.

The next Big Adventure for this Graduate Course in Liberation from our Archetypes is 12 January, when the Moon crosses Varuna and Vesta.

January, Week 1, Update 2

January 4, 2017

We’ve amended the December beginnings of our “Week” with a few Angles previously omitted, and we’ve gotten ourselves up to date through 7 January, in revising…

https://astrobuss.wordpress.com/2017/01/02/january-week-1/

Tomorrow we’ll tackle the 8 January Mercury Station, the 9 January Eris Station, and the many other exhausting Dramas that fill January.

I’m grateful that when I catch myself sinking into vague or acute Physical or Emotional Discomfort and trying to “figure out what’s wrong,” reminding myself that “This is about Letting Go,” and that it’s what’s right, shifts the Energy almost immediately.  Their are plenty of Heavies yet to come.

Shedding

December 30, 2016

Snagged on a poignant Vignette this morning, I caught myself beginning to indulge my Pain.  So I Shed – which feels somewhere between Opening my Angelwings and pouring a quart of (dry) water over my head – and in the process Realized that Stephen Levine’s writings would be particularly Powerful for us in this phase of our Transition.  My copies of his books aren’t handy, but I believe it was Healing into Life and Death or Guided Meditations, Explorations, and Healings that I was thinking of, probably the latter, the one full of incredibly Heart-Opening Guided Meditations.

There is a big difference between Forgiveness and Boundaries.  Forgiveness is a Discovery, not a Decision – you wake up one day and Discover that you aren’t Angry at them any more.  Which doesn’t mean you can’t Invite Forgiveness into your Life, as Stephen often does in these Meditations.  This is a Memory, not a quote…

“Whatever you may have done to Hurt me, Consciously or otherwise, I Forgive you.

“Whatever I may have done to Hurt you, Consciously or otherwise, I Ask that you Forgive me.”

I don’t think Stephen would mind if I misquoted him or borrowed his Work; he had an Ego as Inclusive as the Galaxy.  We’re approaching the first anniversary of his Transition out of his Incarnation…  

https://www.ramdass.org/remembering-stephen-levine-1937-2016/

Hurt is complicated – it can be a Commission or an Omission, or something else entirely, often “just” a Misalignment, where you’re trying to relate but you’re on different tracks.  But where there’s Pain, Inviting Forgiveness is useful.  This one is a quote, from http://levinetalks.com/Writings/single_post/ego-death 

“In the course of breaking the narrow confines of the self-image, a whole new world becomes available when you find out who you aren’t, including your suffering, which wipes out most of your precious/painful identity.  This can be a little disconcerting.

“Just before my face fell off, I looked back at my life as though it were my own.  I was possessed by memory.
“But as I passed behind the well-woven tapestry of appearances, history was undone.  The knots and snags that hold the illusion in place unraveling.
“The suffering defended so long dissolved like the Cheshire smile as a karmic wind caught a loose end and pulled . . .
“In transit beyond the known.”

And if you haven’t yet, and you can spare a week where you can’t do anything else but read (because it’s so compelling), Stephen’s Who Dies? is required reading for anyone.  Actually there’s a good chance you’ll find it to be The Most Important Thing you’ve ever done, so “sparing” a week might not be the right verb.

Back in the 1980s, when Pluto was in Scorpio (“The Way Out is Through”), before it crossed Sagittarius (“The Way Out is Letting Go”) into Capricorn (“Just Fix It Already”), a wonderful body of Literature was produced by the
“Recovery Movement.”  One of my favorites was Susan Forward’s Toxic Parents.  Nothing against parents, and mine were by no means the worst, but this book just does a great job of differentiating Forgiveness from Boundaries, and we need to understand this.

Uranus-Eris I

June 7, 2016

There are several layers to the 8-9 June Eris Initiation of Uranus.  The Initiation, and the next Century that it colors (the Cycle lasts about a Century), is about Abundance – Abundance of Spirit, and Abundance of the Material toys that Spirit likes to play with.  Abundance, of course, means Having Enough to Share.

Uranus symbolizes our Connection to our Individual Soul, and Eris represents the Revelation of what’s been Denied – and what threatens to remain Denied.  This is the Energy we’ve been dealing with all year so far: Removing our Masks, getting Honest with ourself, Insights about our Limiting Unconscious Beliefs, the Ego Death we need to endure in order to Expand into our Life Mission, and most prominently the Rebirth we’re Experiencing in the process.

Where has your Attention been so far this year?  On the Ego Death, or on the Rebirth?  If you Learn to recognize the symptoms of Ego Death, you can put its discomfort into Perspective while you look forward to, and PIAVA, the glorious Future your Rebirth promises.  Intention follows Attention.  The more you dwell on the Ego Death, the more you’re likely to depress your Future.

Details

(1)  The Big Picture in the first layer is all about the Rebirth.  As Rebirths go, this one is Blessed.  If we can be Present with the difficulties that are normal for Ego Death and Rebirth, the result promises Abundance of Spiritual and Material rewards.

(2)  A complexity that could hinder the Grace if allowed to develop negatively (for instance, if we failed to Love our Fear to Death, or if we sank into Despair about how distant we seem to be from Living from our True, Effortless, Joyful, Playful, Shameless Talents), can be resolved by PIAVAing “Ganeshi, please remove all Obstacles between me and Embracing my Despair” and “I Affirm that my most Powerful Skills are available for me to use without Fear.”  Or something like that.

(3)  Recovery of the Soul’s message that we’ve been Denying (seeking Truth) will leverage the Energy locked in our Fear of (Ego) Death, and in our Despair, to Power an even more profound Rebirth.  Think about it; haven’t you been thinking about how your Future looks and Feels more inviting to you than it has in a while?  Haven’t you been smiling to yourself more often in the last several days?

(4)  All year we’ve been unavoidably dwelling on what’s not been working, because it’s forced us to detour from our regular schedule to put out the Brushfires and frighten away the Wolves.  Well, we should be done with that now.  In the process we’ve Let Go of a lot of old baggage we no longer need, and, now streamlined, we’re Free to Manifest our Heart’s Desire.

(5)  The ring-pass-not between Ego Death and Rebirth is Confusion.  Most of us instantaneously convert our Confusion to either Fear or Anger, or both.  Use that Energy to protect your Boundaries, either by taking precautions against whatever your Fear warns against, or by Safely expressing your Anger to those who would Abuse you.  Then, when you’re Safe, go back and look for the Confusion beneath the Fear or Anger.

There’s a Question there – what is it?  Maybe “Why don’t people Respect me?” or “Why are people so Selfish?” or “What did I ever do to them?”  Whatever it is, make it into a PIAVA.  Maybe “I Wonder how I might command Respect” or “What would it Feel like to be as Selfish as they are, without violating my own Values” or “God/Goddess, please show me how I might Act differently, that would produce a better result.”

Think about the areas of your Life that have been working just fine.  “I Wonder what’s different about my Energy in these areas that are working, in contrast to my Energy in the areas that aren’t working.”

(6)  A major result of this Ego-Death Rebirth, is that we will be permanently Changed, as we are Learning to apply our Energy directly toward our Desires in a very Sustainable way.  You’ve probably already detected those Changes, eh?

The Astrology

(1)  The Eris-Uranus Initiation, which takes place at 24 Aries (a Vision of Abundance) is at the base of a Haumea Kite (Rebirth with Grace).  Haumea is Conjoined by the asteroid Nemesis – Rebirth is the Nemesis of the Olde Ego.  The arms of the Kite are Sappho (Self-Love) and Ixion (our Forbidden Genius).  The Grand Trine that forms the body of the Kite shines great Grace on the mantra of Soul-Love-Genius.  The Kite itself promises Rebirth into this mantra.

(2)  The arms of the Kite form the Trine atop a Square Fez, as both Sappho and Ixion are Squared by planets one Sign away on either side of Uranus-Eris.  In this Square Fez, the determining Quincunxes are Sappho-to-Chiron (Embracing our Despair) and Ixion-to-Sedna (Overcoming Fear of Embracing our Forbidden Genius).  The secret to resolving a Fez is to Surrender any difficulty in the Squares (Sedna-to-Sappho, or Fear to Love, and Ixion-to-Chiron, or Despair over ever being able to pursue our Deepest Desires), to the Mystery (ie, PIAVA) of the Quincunxes.  Sedna is Conjoined by Mercury and Atropos (Awareness of Fear of Death, or Awareness of the Death of Fear).

(3)  Chiron and Sedna-Mercury-Atropos make a Yod to Haumea-Nemesis.  Uranus-Eris makes it into a Yod Kite.  I’m told by my CAO that folks call this a Boomerang Yod, and that the focus remains on the point of the Yod (Haumea-Nemesis), but with the Power of Uranus-Eris acting like a bow-string to activate Haumea-Nemesis (Ego Death/Rebirth) even more strongly.

(4)  This Fez overlain on a Trine Kite makes a huge Five-Pointed Star (Manifestation, Power, Magic), also pointing at Haumea-Nemesis – Yet another Booster for Rebirth into our Future.  It looks a little like a Jack-in-the-box hidden inside one of those old wire-handled white thin-cardboard take-out containers from a Chinese restaurant.  We might even call the Configuration a Jack-in-the-Box, or a Chinese Takeout.

(5)  Mars (Energy, Anger) butts in, Opposing Sedna-Mercury-Atropos, and making a T-Square (Mastery through Challenge) to Sappho, in Leo, doubling our Challenge to Self-Love.  The Vacancy (26 Aquarius) that will make this into a Balanced Grand Cross is about Innovation – taking what you know about one field, and applying it to solve a problem in another field.

(6)  Mars is one corner of the foot of a Quintile Yod pointing at Ceres (Sustainability), along with Jupiter, which is Conjunct the North Node (Expanding into our Lifetime Mission, and into more directly pursuing our Desires).

Eris-Uranus New Moon

June 3, 2016

Bottom Line

The 4 June New Moon is a major trigger for the 9 June Eris-Uranus Initiation, which is about Getting Honest with Ourselves around our formerly-Unconscious Limiting Beliefs.  We’ve also referred to them as Masks and Archetypes, and Despair.  This is really about Rebirth.  Unfortunately it may not be the most Effortless Birth, as our favorite Pattern is to cling to our Olde Ego while the New Ego is trying to get born.  That’s very painful.

We have to Let Go and Let God/Goddess.  Trust the process.  Whenever the going gets tough, recognize that you’re in Resistance to the Change.  It may not at all be obvious what else you can do besides Resist – Resistance is your Olde Ego trying to Survive, and that’s exactly what Egos do for a living, they’re good at it, and that’s why you hire them, because when they Survive, you Survive.  Except during the occasional Rebirths; we have to endure an Ego Death to allow a Rebirth.  

Your New Ego isn’t formed yet, and while we may have an inkling where to find its chrysalis, we won’t know what it Feels like.  So we’re stuck with PIAVAs (“God/Goddess, please give me a clue what to do besides Resist” or “I Wonder what it will Feel like when I finish wriggling out of this old carapace that’s so tight I can’t Breathe”) and Tapping (“Even though I feel worthless and hopeless, I deeply and completely Love and Accept Myself”) and Empathizing (“You poor Sweetheart, you really feel like you’re being tortured, don’t you”) and the like.

Once you succeed in Letting Go, you’ll be surprised at how quickly it gets Easy.

 

Details

1.  There’s a big Challenge to Embrace our Despair.  Remember that “Unconscious Despair” is failure to Believe that what you Need is even Possible.  Set aside your YesButs for a moment and Imagine that you could have what you Need or Want.  Now go back to your YesButs and convert each one to a YesAnd.  “YesBut you just aren’t Sexy enough to get that” might become “YesAnd I just Need one Lover.”  “YesBut you’ll never be able to earn enough Money for that” may be “YesAnd What If someone gave it to me as a Gift!”

You want to Touch that Feeling that you would have if your Dream came true, and hold it as long as you can, till it becomes a when rather than an if,  If you can hold that Feeling enough, it won’t matter whether your Dream actually Manifests, because you’ll already have what your Dream would have given you – Peace, Joy, Excitement, Self-Respect, Power, Grace.  What’s a Lover or a Red Convertible compared to that!  And if you had those Feelings most of the time, you could probably score Lovers and Convertibles pretty easy, if you still wanted to.

This is the difference between your Deepest Desires and your Mission in the Lifetime.  What you Desire isn’t actually the Object of your Dreams, it only seems that way because you live in a Material World.  What you actually Crave, what you came her to achieve, is How the Object of your Dreams Makes you Feel.  From that Feeling you can have anything you Ask for.  And guess what!  You’ll be Asking for different things, and they won’t have any YesButs.  It’s a Hologram, y’know, and you’re the projector.

2.  While this is a big Challenge, it doesn’t come without tools that can actually make it pretty Easy.  However, to manifest the Ease, we have to realize that Rebirth is the Ego’s Least Favorite party game, and Love our Olde Ego into oblivion.  Try Gratitude that It’s gotten you this far.  Try just really really appreciating how incredibly Comfortable your Olde Ego Feels, and PIAVA that your New Ego is going to Feel even more Comfortable once you’ve moved through the Grief of Giving Up your Olde Friend who’s kept you Safe.

3.  What will make your Rebirth Easier?  Getting Honest about what you’ve been trying to hide from yourself.  You may not know the details, but you know the general theme.  Abuse?  You don’t need to remember who or when, you just need to Trust your Feelings about it.  Fear?  Anger?  Embrace them.  Locate them in your Body, and move all of your Attention into the center of that place, and hold it there.  Bring it back when it wanders.  Stay with it till it dissolves or moves.  If it moves, follow it.

Eventually you’ll need to Surrender all Blame.  Blame looks toward the Past to assign Cause, while Responsibility looks toward the Future to improve Outcomes.  Any time you catch yourself attributing some Emotion or Sensation in your Body to any outside Cause, stop and bring your Attention back into your Body.  I’m always gnawing at myself because my neighbors have no idea what I’m trying to do in my Garden, and condemn it as a Jungle.

I need to catch myself thinking that, and bring my Attention back into my own Body.  Those Emotions and Sensations have their Roots in my Personal and Karmic Histories.  Those are my Emotions, the neighbors only trigger them.  I need to take up the Practice of locating them in my Body, and Loving them right where they are, exactly as they are.  If I Reject any Emotion, I dampen them all, and without any of them I’m not a Whole Person, I’m dis-eased.

Use this general model with everything that you suspect may be lurking in your Underwhere – Inadequacy, Self-Hate, Belief in Fate, Addiction, Guilt, Shame, any Limiting Belief, and anything else that comes up.  When the Emotion begins to Overwhelm, Tap it Out.

4.  The whole chart actually falls into a pool of Enormous Grace, but there’s a leak in the pool.  To plug it, we need to recognize the Challenges we’ve Lived through, Honor ourself for Living through them, and be Willing to talk about them so others can Learn from our travails.

 

The Astrology

  1.  Aside from the Eris-Uranus Initiation itself of course, the primary focus of the chart is a Chiron T-Square (Challenge to Convert Despair to Miracles) across and Opposition between an Ixion-Pholus Conjunction (Taking Full Responsibility to Let our Orphaned Genius out of the closet) and a Karma-Chaos Conjunction (But without my old Patterns it all looks Chaotic! or Karma is Dead; Long Live Karma!).
  2. This T-Square (Mastery through Challenge) is actually a Diamond Star (Making what would be difficult, Easy), with Sappho (Self-Love) and a Haumea-Nemesis Conjunction (either Feeling like you had this coming, or Recognizing that Rebirth feels like Death because they’re just different sides of the same Coin) on the feet of the Chiron Yod.
  3. The Eris-Uranus Initiation (Revelation of Denial) is at the focus of a Quintile Yod (huge Learning Opportunity).  However, the Haumea-Nemesis Conjunction Opposes the Eris-Uranus Initiation, converting the QYod into a Quintile Kite and shifting some of the emphasis onto Haumea-Nemesis.  A Yod pointing to a Sedna-Atropos Conjunction (The Demise of Fear, foreshadowed of course by the Fear of Demise) from the base of the Sextile from Haumea-Nemesis to Ixion-Pholus.
  4. Eris-Uranus, Karma-Chaos, Sappho, Haumea-Nemesis, and Ixion-Pholus form five points of a Grand Sextile (Enormous Grace, though we need to take the first step).  The Vacancy is 24 Aquarius, “A person, having overcome their compulsions, shares the deep wisdom that results from their experience: The constructive use to which difficult past experiences can be put as examples for those who are still striving to overcome their compulsions,” aka Archetypes/Masks/Karma.

Venus, Mars, and Yintegrity

June 1, 2016

Venus is dancing with the 4 June New Moon, Mars is very busy, and of course Yintegrity is the bottom line here as we approach the 9 June Eris-Uranus Initiation.  If you haven’t been dancing with Rebirth of your Sexuality and Sensuality (Venus and Mars) yet, to bring it more in line with your Yintegrity, you’re probably overdue.  The Royal Star Regulus is still lit up, so be mindful that Revenge (Mars) may backfire.

Mars, after turning Retrograde at the Ides of April, reached it’s astrological Opposition to the Sun on 22 May, backed into Scorpio on 27 May, reached it’s cosmological Opposition to the Sun (closest approach to Earth in a decade) on 29 May, and turns Direct again on 29 June.  If you’re feeling or encountering a lot of bitchiness (as one reader calls it) or lack of Satisfaction (as Mick would call it), you can probably blame Mars.  Of course, if you’re being Victimized by Mars, we’d interpret that as a Denial of ______ [you’ll have to PIAVA how to fill in the blank; it’d be different for everyone].

Mars’s Shadow Period (span of Retrogradation) covers 24 Scorpio to 9 Sagittarius, the last two and-a-half Duads of Scorpio (adjustments to the Ego to Balance new Learnings) and the first three and-a-half Duads of Sagittarius (testing our New Ego in social settings).  Scorpio is about Fearlessly Digging Deep, and Sagittarius is about Letting  Go.  Mars entered its Shadow Period February 18.  So…

Whatever business it is that we haven’t finished and which we danced with in the last half of February, after we tried and failed to Let It Go over the last three months, it’s back.  YooHoo.  So now we have to immerse ourselves in it.  Locate it in our Body and just Be in that spot for a month.  Dr. Kim must have a good astrologer or good Intuition, because as it often is, her current message is right on…

http://drkimderamo.com/ever-feel-like-youre-going-backwards/

The New Moon is very busy…

It’s in Gemini, Conjunct Venus, and it’s one corner of a Grand Cross with Saturn, Jupiter-North Node, and Neptune-South Node.  It’s also the head of a Kite, on a Saturn-Hopi-Mnemosyne Fire Grand Trine.  The Neptune-South Node corner of the Grand Cross is the head of a second Kite, on a Pluto-Jupiter/North Node-Aletheia Earth Grand Trine.  The Kites are connected by two Yods, to Hopi/Leo from Pluto-Neptune, and to Pluto/Capricorn from Hopi and the New Moon.

Stressful, but the Rewards for Surrendering Control and PIAVAing what you lack should be fabulous.  If they aren’t, PIAVA the next step – you may also need something else, you may need to go Deeper, or your mind may just be leading you into one of those blind Either/Or alleys.  You may need to Wonder what to PIAVA.  It could just be Patience.  We’re in the Soup till 9 June.  That doesn’t mean we have to Suffer, but it also means that perfect Comfort is likely to escape us.

The second, Jupiter-Neptune axis of the Grand Cross is malformed, as Jupiter does not really Oppose Neptune.  Jupiter recently backed up to within a Degree and-a-half of completing the Opposition, then changed its mind and went back the other way.  The real Opposition took place last September.  That Opposition was the Blooming of the very momentous Neptune-Jupiter and simultaneous Chiron-Jupiter Initiation, in May 2009, a prelude to the 2010 Neptune-Chiron Initiation.  All three of these Initiations occurred in 27 Aquarius, “An ancient pottery bowl filled with fresh violets.”  If you have the time, you might want to review “Chiron-Neptune” in the list of Categories at right.

These Fresh Violets are a Symbol we recognize, as the theme for the initially-alternate economy that is being formed as the dregs of the Industrial-Age economy limp into the Digital Age.  And we recognize the Chironean Despair that surrounded the recent Derivative Crisis (advertised by the corporate media as a “Subprime Loan” Crisis; this theme of making the Victims into Criminals is a trend that’s just starting).  

The Industrial-Age economic infrastructure that died in 2010 isn’t fixable; it will have to be replaced with “Fresh Violets,” but the bankers are stretching it out as long as they can because they’re getting rich off if it and hoping to make it into the 1% before it’s too late, and because the 1% haven’t figured out yet how to checkmate China and the other contenders (including us) as they plan their own new infrastructure. 

Eventually the alternate economy will go mainstream as the seed of the first Digital Age Survival strategy for the Analog portion of the 99%.  It’s about growing our own Food, trying to protect ourselves from the political corruption and poisoned Earth that Predatory Capitalism leaves almost everywhere on the Planet, creating local Community, adapting the portions of new technology that are accessible to us (such as 3D printing), and growing Resilience.  

We can probably safely assume that for most of us the future will look more like present-day Libya or Syria or the Palestinian dilemma, than the Sound of Music or the Gatsby.  One of the best handbooks for the alternate economy is probably Permaculture Magazine, and its new Western-Hemisphere spinoff.  The ancient Popular Mechanics is also surprisingly useful.

The fact that the Jupiter-Neptune axis of the Grand Cross does not complete suggests that…

This New Moon and its Grand Cross may unleash a lot of Paper Tigers – bundles of Fear that look like Monsters from our Karmic past.  If this is true, then there will likely be an economic feint (or faint) in June – the long-promised demise of the current economic shell game will appear to be happening, while its actual demise may be delayed until after the US elections.  The appearance of demise will probably be enough to bring us all face to face with our Survival Fears.

Other than knowing that we’re in the Void phase of the final Jupiter-Saturn Cycle of the Industrial Age, and that there will most likely be a Cultural component to this Eris-Uranus Revelation of Denial business (think Global Balming, Poverty, Predatory Capitalism, for-profit medicine), I haven’t looked at the rest of the year and decade yet astrologically.  I will soon.

The unfortunate Truth is that the 1% have become expert at “Crisis Investing,” which means taking maximum advantage of the Victims of any Crisis, the way W and his cronies did after Hurricane Katrina or 9/11 (see Naomi Klein’s Shock Doctrine or John Perkins’s New Confessions of an Economic Hit Man if you want to learn how that’s done – or just watch The Donald).  So whatever occurs on the Cultural or Global scale, we need to PIAVA that Huperity has reached a Tripping Point, and that Miracles are available to the Planet.  There is ample potential for that.

The New Moon is also the head of a Kite, on a Saturn-Hopi-Mnemosyne Fire Grand Trine.  The Neptune-South Node corner of the Grand Cross is the head of a second Kite, on a Pluto-Jupiter/North Node-Aletheia Earth Grand Trine.  The Kites are connected by two Yods, to Hopi/Leo from Pluto-Neptune, Hopi meaning Respect for All Things, and to Pluto/Capricorn from Hopi and the New Moon.  Fire and Earth form a potent Alchemical combination.

The New Moon is also Trioctile (Rebalancing) to the recent Lilith-Juno Initiation (Around a campfire a group of young people sit in spiritual communion” – bringing Yindependence to the Edges of our Consciousness), which Initiation is in turn at the head of a Quintile Yod from Vesta and Chiron.

Our Choice Points are really whether to be in Despair about how our Unconscious Beliefs in Limitation have us shackled, or to be Willing to move toward Miracles by PIAVAing what we don’t believe is attainable – or perhaps that we don’t believe it’s attainable – and by Empathizing with what’s really going on.  “You poor Sweetheart, you’re really swimming in Self-Rejection here, aren’t you” for instance.  PIAVAs about trying to Heal our Despair by Changing External Reality will probably not work as well here; it’s an inside job.

The mindstuff that forms the content of our Anxieties is what needs to be jettisoned as soon as possible, so we can instead use our scarce Attention Resources to either focus directly on our Anxiety itself (for instance Tapping Out “Even though I feel very Worried, I deeply and completely Love and Accept myself”), or to go Deeper and begin to get Comfortable with the Real Feelings that our Anxiety is trying to hide from us (“I Wonder what Real Emotions are underneath my Anxiety, and how I might Heal their Source”).

This is the Gift of the Neptune-South Node Kite.

We’ll look at the Uranus-Eris portion of the New Moon chart in the next installment.

 

Another Busy Weekend II

April 15, 2016

Whoo, feel that Anger out there already!  More than Mars-Plutos have supplied in recent years.  So let’s take each episode of our own Anger, and each episode of another’s Anger, as doorways to our own Denial.  K?

The Vesta-Mercury Initiation (Consciousness of Limiting Beliefs) Quincunxes Saturn (Focus), making two Tricolors in the process:

  • Asteroid Klotho (Reboot) Square Vesta-Mercury Quincunx Saturn Trine Klotho
  • Jupiter-North Node (Expanding our Sense of Mission and Desire) Square Saturn Quincunx Vesta-Mercury Trine Jupiter-North Node

We interpret a Tricolor by imagining what sort of Confusion or Frustration that the Square might cause, and postulating that if we formulate a Wondering or other PIAVA that expresses the Quincunx, then the Grace of the Trine will be unleashed.

For instance, we might experience Klotho (Reboot) Square Vesta-Mercury (Becoming Aware of our Limiting Beliefs – probably through owning a Projection) as Fear or Hesitation about how much we’d have to restructure our Lives if we Let Go of the Limiting Belief.  

“Owning a Projection” means that, in a place where we’re in the Habit of Blaming Others for something, we decide to look at our own Process, to see if there’s anything there which we can take Personal Responsibility for.  Remember, Blame looks backward to assign Cause, while Responsibility looks forward to improve Outcomes.

Let’s say, just for an example, you have a Garden, and Others are always criticizing it because it looks different than the Gardens they’re used to.  You’re in the Habit of grumbling to yourself about how no one ever asks you what your Intentions are or assumes you have some plan that they don’t understand, they just tell you how you’re doing it wrong, often vociferously.  They may even try to punish you for being wrong.  Well, if enough people tell you you’re wrong, most of us will start Believing we are wrong.  Or if not wrong, then we give up trying, because without Support, Life is hard.

Okay, there’s one thread – Believing Others more than we Trust Ourself.  Seeking Approval, or at least seeking an Open Mind and Curiosity and an attempt to Understand, if not Validate, what we’re doing and why.  That’s not Self-Sovereignty.  In fact, it could be a clue about our Forbidden Genius.  What do we leave half-finished because we don’t expect Acknowledgement for it?  Another crucial Question: Does this invoke any childhood memories?  If we were not Validated as a Unique Individual in our childhood, we’ll continue to Create circumstances where we have the opportunity to fill in that hole in our Aura by Validating ourself.

This line of thought is useful, it’s contributing useful information, and we could continue to work it productively.  But it’s analytical, Mercury-stuff – which of course is cool for Mercury-Vesta, exactly what we’d expect of Mercury-Vesta, analysis of our Limiting Beliefs.  But it’s not taking advantage of the Tricolor.  While analysis might install a window in the wall of our Birdcage, it’s unlikely to add a new wing.  For that we need to move to Curiosity.

“I Wonder where I might Focus my Attention in order to maximize Liberation from my Limiting Beliefs.”  A Statement, not a Question.  We aren’t intending to seek Answers, which would be intellectual and hence Linear.  We’re wanting to invoke the Nonlinear Insight that the Tricolor promises, the Insight that breaks through into additional Dimensions.  So we need to Change the Subject, put the mind to work on other concerns, so we can let that Wondering perk for a while.

Saturn-Klotho is a Trine, so if we don’t get stuck on the Square, the Rebooting should be Effortless.

How might we experience the other Square, Jupiter-North Node Square Saturn?  Well, there’s the traditional contrast between Jupiter as Expansion and Saturn as Concentration.  Do we want to put our Attention toward Expanding into our Mission and giving ourselves Permission to explore our Desires?  Or do we want to Focus on bringing our Limiting Beliefs into Consciousness where they can be where they can be reprogrammed?

“I Wonder what Limiting Beliefs inhibit me from Expanding vigorously into my Mission?”

Jupiter-North Node is also Trine to Vesta-Mercury; all we have to do is get out of the way and let the Magic unfold.

The Vesta-Mercury Initiation is also one corner of a Grand Trine, with Jupiter-North Node and Pluto (the Inevitable), so we really do have Grace working here.  With the Grand Trine, the Ego Death may not even be as uncomfortable as usual – though we’ve got that simultaneous Mars-Pluto Station Energy revving us up.  

 Which creates a third Tricolor…

  • Vesta-Mercury Square Klotho Quincunx Pluto Trine Vesta-Mercury

With Pluto Stationary this seems like a rather unavoidable Reboot of our whole complex of Unconscious Beliefs.

“I Wonder what sort of Transformation will be upon us this weekend!”

With Mars and Pluto Stationary it won’t hurt to also PIAVA something like “Great Spirit, please grant us a Loving and Gentle and Easy weekend” just to cover the bases.

One last Angle: Vesta-Mercury is also Trioctile to Makemake and Octile to Ceres, or we could say that Vesta-Mercury forms a Trioctile Bridge across the Ceres-Makemake Opposition.  Ceres-Makemake is about making Innovation Permanent, which is very important when the Planet is Changing as rapidly and completely as ours.  The Eighth-Harmonic Octile series of Angles is about bringing things back into Balance.

So the weekend should also Open us Up to some whole new Vistas of Possibility.  It wouldn’t hurt us to do some “What-Ifs” – “What if People actually Supported me?”  “What if we could manifest a Community that really did Support us?”  That’d give us a sense of accomplishment for a weekend’s work, wouldn’t it.  Don’t dismiss the Possibility!

Which causes us to Ask, just where is dwarf planet Chaos – Unlimited Potential – this weekend?  Oho, here it is, Opposite Saturn and making a Grand Cross with the Nodes!  A Grand Cross Bridged by Vesta-Mercury, Klotho, and  Pluto.  A char that just keeps on Giving!

Truthspeaking

April 4, 2016

Most of this is Water under the Bridge, but it’s recent enough that it may help you make sense of what’s been going on lately in your Young Life, and it’s very relevant to the Main Effect during the first half of 2016 – which is the removal, willingly or otherwise, of our last few Masks.  Removing Our Masks and Speaking Our Truth are pretty much just different ways of saying the same thing.  

It’s actually very possible to Speak Our Truth without being Offensive.  Many of us though are more in the habit of being Nice than Honest, so getting to that place will probably take some practice.  As we practice Speaking Our Truth, there’s one thing we need to remember.  

We can finesse our Speech to be less Offensive, but we have no control over whether or not its recipient is Offended.  

Even in Cross-Cultural situations where we’ve studied the protocols of the other Culture, people are still individuals and may not follow the protocols of their own culture.  Even if we’re careful to master the technology of Non-Offensive Speech, such as…

http://www.nonviolentcommunication.com/aboutnvc/aboutnvc.htm

we still can’t control what others hear.

We’ve worked through many of our Masks, as Uranus (True or Soul Self) Squared Pluto (Inevitability) from 2012 till 2016.  And we spent much of March, with its Eclipses, doing preparatory work for June’s peeling of the next layer, as Eris (Revelation of Denial) Initiates Uranus.

Which occurs on 9 June at 24 Aries, “Blown inward by the wind, the curtains of an open window take the shape of a cornucopia.”  We could worry that it’s not a real Cornucopia, just a curtain, an Illusion.  But that would be a waste of Imagination.  It we Feel Abundance, we can Be Abundance.  If we find ourselves focusing on Doubt, we can Embrace it Lovingly, and melt it into Oblivion.

Closely related to Removing our Masks, Speaking our Truth, and while we’re at it owning our Abandoned Genius, is the task of Letting Go of our Limiting Beliefs.  While there are many ways to do that, one way is to Lovingly and Gently re-Experience the Traumatic Memories that the Limiting Beliefs encode.  Tapping can greatly accelerate the process of shifting the Memories from Trauma to an Honest recollection of what happened, stripped of the Overwhelming Emotion that forced it into the Unconscious.  It may retain enough Emotional weight to have a strong impact on our Values, but it will no long be Overwhelming, and it will no longer be an Archetype controlling our Behavior from the Unconscious.

Consequently, it will not be surprising if between March and June Memories arise which provide us opportunities to Choose between Letting Go or Re-Leasing – as in signing up for an additional Lease term.  All of which suggests that we might find three new asteroids useful – Mnemosyne (Memory), Aletheia (Truth, in Greek), and Veritas (Truth, in Latin).  If there was an asteroid named for Lethe, the River of Forgetfulness or Oblivion (personified by a daughter of Eris!), that’d also be useful, as Oblivion is typical of Unconscious Overwhelm, Preconscious lack of Discernment, and garden-variety Denial – but I haven’t found one.  A drink from the River Lethe was an integral part of moving from one Lifetime to the next, a metaphor for the sort of Ego Death and Rebirth that’s involved with Letting Go of significant Limiting Beliefs.  Aletheia is A-Lethe-ia, or Non-Forgetfulness.

So, have these asteroids have been lit up lately, or will they be lit up when Eris Initiates Uranus?

Turns our Aletheia and Veritas are both in Aries, and Mnemosyne in Pisces…

  • On 17 March Uranus Initiated Aletheia at 20 Aries, “A young girl feeding birds in winter
  • On 27 March Uranus Initiated Veritas at 20 Aries, and Eris Initiated Aletheia at 23 Aries, “Through imagination a lost opportunity is regained
  • On 2 April Chiron Initiated Mnemosyne at 23 Pisces, “A ‘materializing’ medium giving a seance” and Sedna Initiated asteroid Karma at 25 Taurus, “A vast public park
  • On 4 April Eris Initiates Veritas at 23 Aries

Meanwhile dwarf planet Sedna (Actions Taken out of Fear) Dances with asteroid Karma – since Actions taken out of Fear are good candidates to accompany Trauma and Create Karma, it also belongs here.  Karma is Inertia – Habits, unproductive or misplaced Archetypes – and our Limiting Beliefs are just that, Self-Sabotaging Habits.

The valuable exercise here is to look for correlations between your Inner (Emotions) and Outer (Circumstances) Experiences during these times.  Did they demonstrate or betray any Limiting Beliefs?  Any places where your Conception of Reality wasn’t big enough to encompass What You Want?  Were you left puzzling about anything?  Did you have Epiphanies?

Portal 24-29.3 – Saturn VI

March 28, 2016

More comments around Privilege…

“I’ve done so much mirroring over the last few years; I even carry a small mirror in my purse for those ‘special occasions’  and finger it discreetly when the need arises.  I also have a mirror set up in the library that I can angle towards the direction of whichever person isn’t respecting my boundaries at any given moment.”
Fantastic!  Keep up the Good Work!!  Persist till it becomes completely automatic.
“Not sure I have the expertise to close holes in my aura on my own but will ask around about people who might be able to help with that.”

You ARE closing the holes in your Aura.  Think about how many years it took the significant adults (and older siblings if any) in your childhood to get you programmed to be Vulnerable to their Needs and Whims – and how many Lifetimes before that.  Self-Sovereignty isn’t a single Decision, it’s a Lifestyle, which impacts the Choices you make every moment.  Slavery is still quite legal in many places on this Planet.  Most of us may have more Lifetimes as Slaves and Masters than as Freepersons.  

You may be able to find a Psychic Healer to help you, but the way you close the hole in your Aura is with Discernment (Noticing when Violation is occurring, at more and more subtle levels; Witnessing; and Empathy if or when there’s Time and Safety for it) and Persistence (making the Decision to Support your own Sovereignty and Doing it, over and over again until it’s second nature, like riding a bicycle).  You might find that experience with a Psychic Healer just gives you (to your chagrin) more opportunity to Discern and Persist!

Response-ability, right?”

Absolutely!  Developing the Ability to Respond rather than React.  Responding from Choice, or from an Archetype (Pattern, Habit) that we’ve Chosen to Self-Install, rather than from an Archetype that someone else Programmed us to React from.  

The ancient Command… 

“Revert!”

is an excellent one to use when someone threatens us with a curse.  Feel bad about sending a curse back to the one who curses you?  That’s exactly the Programmed Self-Abuse you can use as your unfailingly reliable signal that it’s time to Discern and Persist.  When you get stuck on an Edge between Compassion and Sovereignty, recognize the Confusion – the first sign of Growth – and Surrender to a PIAVA.

When our own “negative” Programming threatens us with an untoward thought or Feeling… 

“Cancel, Neutralize, Upgrade”

is a good mantra – Cancel the thought, Neutralize the Energy already manifested, and Upgrade the thinking unit.