Self-Empathy

Reader K says…

“I’m always happy to hear more (and again) about Poor-Sweethearting, Despair, and Miracles.”

This is Chiron stuff.  Most of youalls probably know Chiron as the Wounded Healer, or the Healer with the Unhealable Wound, Unhealable because it was caused by a Poisoned Spear thrown by another Centaur.  The “mental-physical-spiritual-emotional” correlate is the Held Emotions and Toxic chemicals that clog our Microtubules and block our Intuitions.

We put “mental-physical-spiritual-emotional” in quotes because while we’re used to thinking of the Mental and the Physical and the Spiritual and the Emotional (in astrology Air, Earth, Fire, and Water) as different Realms or different “Levels” of our Identity, they’re in fact different Perspectives on our Identity, which is actually Unitary (and of course simultaneously Multifarious). 

For example, if you try to Separate Thoughts from Emotions, you quickly Discover that they’re Circular, each reinforcing the other. 

In post-Boryshenko Medicine, the Mind and Body are so intimately intertwined that it’s counter-productive to try to Separate them. 

Ever seen Prayers work to Heal the Physical?  Body and Spirit are not Separate Entities, they’re just different ways of Seeing the Singular Identity.

The Centaur is half Huper and half Animal, and the Animal half – Horse – is very Strong.  That represents Consciousness and the Unconscious.  Who needs Tortoises and Hares; Imagine trying to outrun a Horse, and you can see how futile it is to try to outsmart the Unconscious.  Its weapons are Toxic, and there is no cure.  Just ask Shakespeare or Oedipus how easy it is to Overpower the Unconscious.  The Classical view is that it’s Hopeless.

We have a whole Technology for addressing the Unconscious – PIAVA we call it, for Prayer-Intention-Asking-Visualizing-Affirming – and it’s Magnetic or Indirect, not Dynamic or Direct.  It’s about Asking, not Telling (https://astrobuss.wordpress.com/category/manifestation/piava-review/), though there’s a special case for “Commanding.” 

Our aim here of course is to help us all Grow our Consciousness to include more of what is now Unconscious or Semi-Conscious.  On the Personal level (or Perspective), we refer to this as our Karma, Habits, Patterns, Archetypes, especially those that are Self-Sabotaging. 

There are Cultural levels as well; for instance, in the Midwestern US, it’s Culturally appropriate to be “Nice” instead of Honest, which can make a big dent in our Authenticity.  With enough repetition, we’re unable to tell what’s really Authentically us, and what’s been Programmed into the Unconscious.  Since Manifesting What We Want often requires Authenticity, that’s important.  We see the same process happening in the Culture’s Programming of women and minorities as inferior.

So, this notion that we’re Unhealably Slaves to our Karma and to the Unconscious, doesn’t fit with our goal of Growing our Consciousness.  Fortunately, there is a Savior to Rescue us, named Empathy.  Eugene Gendlin, of “Focusing” fame, studied a number of psychotherapeutic methods to see if any worked better than the others.  He found that method didn’t much matter; what mattered was whether the therapist was Empathetic.  Empathy Heals.

And does Empathy Heal the Unhealable?  Absolutely. 

We use a very simple process to Initiate Empathy – we say to ourself, “You Poor Sweetheart, you’re Feeling Unhappy, aren’t you.”  Or, “You Poor Sweetheart, you’ve been Wounded by a Poison Spear, haven’t you.”  Or even, “You Poor Sweetheart, you were really Helpless against your uncle’s Abuse, weren’t you.” 

There’s no exclamation mark, your voice drops at the end of the sentence, as if you were trying to comfort your best friend.  It’s not quite a Question, but say it tentatively enough that your friend (or in this case, “you”) can correct you.  “No, it wasn’t my uncle, it was my stepfather.”  “No, I’m not Unhappy, I’m Terrified.”  “No, Silly, not a Poison Spear, I Twisted my Ankle.”  You won’t always get an answer, but sometimes you will, and when you do, it’s Powerful.

Folks say it’s okay to talk to yourself, but when you answer, you’re on the Edge.  Yes, the Edge of Healing.  If a part of you Responds to your Poor-Sweetheart, and you can strike up a Conversation, that’s a Big Step toward bringing important parts of the Unconscious into your Consciousness.  Fritz Perls developed a whole School or Psychology around this process.

We refer to it as the Unconscious rather than our Unconscious because the Unconscious isn’t entirely Personal.  If we View it as partially Personal (Karmic, for instance), that’s useful, but it’s just a Perspective. 

If you were able to shift your Identity to include not just your Ego but also the Unconscious, you’d instantly Grok what’s meant by We Are All One.  It doesn’t really make sense to our Mentality, because it’s not Either/Or, and the mind knows only Duality.

You don’t need a Response to your Poor-Sweetheart from some hidden part of yourself.  In fact, if you just Change the Subject – do something else and forget about what you just did, that’s when Miracles will occur.

Let’s say you Notice that you’re Discouraged.  “You Poor Sweetheart, you’re really Discouraged, aren’t you.”  Then you do something else, preferably something that takes your Attention off of what you were thinking about or Feeling before you Poor-Sweethearted yourself.  You can still Feel Discouraged, but be Discouraged about something else.

A Day or so later, look to see what you’re Feeling.  I predict you won’t be Discouraged any more.

The poster child for Poor Sweethearing is Despair.  The Unhealable Healer is in Despair because he’s unable to see outside of his Despair.  There’s a whole World outside of his Despair, but he doesn’t know it because he can’t See it.  We’re in Despair when we no longer believe that What We Want is possible.  “You Poor Sweetheart, you’re Feeling Despair, aren’t you.”

You’re doing something similar when you Tap Out your Unpleasant or Overwhelming Feelings.  You start by phrasing the Truth about the Emotion that you’re actually Feeling.  Then you Balance your Meridians, which Changes everything.  All Dis-Ease is just a symptom of being Out of Balance.  Balance is Ease.

Poor-Sweethearting is about Identity.  When “I am Feeling Despair,” that’s a statement of Identity.  You – your State of Being – and Despair are Merged.  Short of Enlightenment, we can’t step out of Identity.  But we can Change our Identity. 

When we step outside of our Despairing self, look back at who we were Identified with, and say Compassionately, “You Poor Sweetheart, you’re Feeling Despair, aren’t you.” then we no longer are Despair, we’re now Identified with Compassion instead.  There’s the part of ourself that is/was Identified with Despair, and now we’ve created a new part of ourself that’s Identified with Compassion.  And you-as-Despair is now history, while you-as-Compassion is now Present Moment.

This sounds like a grammatical trick, but it’s not.  It’s a trick of Identity.  Once you’re Identified with Compassion, the walled-in World of Despair is no longer your World.  There are any number of new Possibilities that didn’t exist when you were in Despair.  This is the Miracle.  You’ve just Manifested the Possibility of things that were inconceivable in your previous Despairing World.  Miracles are just things that are routine in other Realities than the one you’re in.

Because of the depth of our Beliefs in the Illusion that the Physical World is Substantial and the other Worlds are relatively Insubstantial (there are Subcultures for whom each of the other three Perspectives are Substantial), and because this Illusion is Enforced so adamantly by Western Culture, it may take a lot of Practice to go from “I am Sick” to “You Poor Sweetheart, you Feel Sick, don’t you” to “I am Healthy.” 

It’s by no means impossible.  We could certainly do it in 5D, if we ever slipped out of 5D long enough to “be Sick.”  But we need to start small and build up our Belief that Poor-Sweethearting really works before we can shift our Identity so profoundly.  As Steven Levine used to say, “Don’t start with the 300-pound weight.”

The dwarf planet Chiron is the fulcrum around which our cup – half full or half empty – is measured.  At the turn of the current Century, Chiron was Initiated by Pluto in 12 Sagittarius, “A flag turning into an Eagle turning into a Rooster saluting the Dawn”: Narrow Identity turning into Broad Perspective turning into Enlightenment.  This is a 70-year Cycle.  The Energy “becomes Mainstream” (the Waxing Square) around 2030.

Chiron is now 66 Degrees ahead of Pluto; that’s two elevenths of the way ’round the Zodiacal loop.  A Decile is one tenth and an Unx is one twelfth, but I can’t find an English word that means one eleventh.  So we’ll have to Create one.  The German word for eleven is elf, so we’ll refer to two elevenths as a Bielfin Angle.  The Eleventh Harmonic symbolizes Strength, Lustre, Creativity, and the Second Harmonic Ritual.

This is fitting.  We have our Compulsion (Pluto) to convert Pain into Miracles (Chiron) on the road to Enlightenment by adopting a Ritual (Poor-Sweetheart) for Restoring our Strength and Creativity (Bielfin), and making us Shine again.

Ritual is dangerous, because it eventually morphs into Limiting Beliefs, especially when it’s passed down to new generations that weren’t involved in its formulation and so come to see it as “just the way the World Is.”  We’re not Swearing an Oath to uphold Poor-Sweetheart, so it’s a Both/And, not an Either/Or, so there’s some hope there that it won’t create a Cult.

Ritual is like any other Habit; it should be Consciously tested occasionally to see what alternatives there are, and to see if we’re actually Choosing the most appropriate alternative for the Situation at hand.

BTFR and its Cousins

A long-time reader writes,

“I don’t see the order going Belief => Thought => Feeling => Reality.  I don’t see An Order.  I could start with any one of the three – B, T or F – to lead me to my reality.  it’s like which came first, the chicken or the egg, No?  It’s all mutually instigating/stimulating simultaneously and then plop ~ Reality, as perceived by Me.  Or is this Belief => Thought => Feeling => Reality just a manner to be able to talk about the dismantling?  the transmuting?  the reframing?  That in order to change the R you start with B move through T then F?”

I’m not sure what Eugenia would say, but here’s how I see it.  The “Belief” she refers to in B > T > F > R is the same sort of Unconscious Belief that Seth spoke of in The Nature of Personal Reality – we identify our Unconscious Beliefs by impartially reviewing our Personal History.  For instance, I might consciously “Believe” that I deserve R-E-S-P-E-C-T.  In fact, I might even be a bit indignant (clue) when someone doesn’t treat me with Respect.

But when I sit down to objectively review my Life so far, I might find a lot of examples where people didn’t give me the Respect that I felt that I deserved.  So in spite of my Conscious Certainty, I’d have to conclude that I had an Unconscious Belief that I didn’t deserve Respect.  (The chip on my shoulder would actually be a strong clue, if I was listening.)  I could test that hypothesis with the “Mirror” – ask a few friends who have known me for a long time, in what ways they think I don’t Respect myself enough.  If they have an answer, then I have a lead on an Unconscious Belief, which would engender the T, which would in turn evoke the F.  F is the glue that crystallizes Energy into Matter.  That’s why the Moon often triggers manifest Circumstances.

Now if I followed that lead, I might find a parent who didn’t recognize who I was, or who even actively worked to squelch my best talents.  Or maybe a “past” Life or two as a Slave – Slavery is pretty common in linear history.  Probably both.  “Hiring” someone on the Soul level – such as a parent – to squelch us turns out to be a common paragraph in Soul Contracts, because that’s one way we learn to have confidence in our talents, by constant reaction to our introversion of the squelching – that’s often what we call a T-Square!  So (Unconscious)B > T > F > R isn’t a Healing method, it’s a description of how we develop our R.

Healing the (U)B might take the form of using T to Witness our chronic F – so instead of complaining to friends about how so-and-so didn’t give us any Respect, we’d conjure up how we felt about that, and give ourselves Empathy.  You poor Sweetheart, that felt awful, didn’t it!?!  When I do that sort of thing I don’t even have to “Change the Subject,” it changes by itself.  If it doesn’t Change, or comes up again in a few minutes, a next step might be Tapping.  So maybe a Healing rhythm might be something like

unwanted R > Intentionally evoked F > Empathic T > change in B

change in B > different T > different F > change in R

I would add that the Spiritual Function of T is Separation.  F unifies the Emotional and Physical Bodies; T separates them.  T is Either/Or.  R is Both/And.  The process of Consciousness involves (1) Separation, (2) the Realization of Separation (the Witness), and (3) Reintegration at a more inclusive (“higher”) level.

Bear in mind that I haven’t finished Eugenia’s book yet, so I don’t know what she would say about this!

The reader adds,

“I’m giggling and smiling at your words on yourself and your experience with this book and when you say you’re embarrassed that you didn’t think of it that way, or are stunned… because DUDE WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU”VE BEEN TEACHING ME ALL THESE YEARS??????? =)  To see it that way!  Well, that’s what I’ve been getting from you anyway, even if you haven’t!!! =) tee hee hee… No, I know , it’s all old and new again at the same time.  That’s so cool and beautiful.  I loved this post!  I can’t wait to read this book.“

You got it!  Spiral Time, and a Psychic World that’s full of pockets of Regression that don’t have nerve connections with the rest of the “brain.”  Several of the Healing processes developed during the Recovery Movement of the 1980s were based on that notion, and endeavored to make new synapses between our Cystic Traumas and our Everyday identity.  You could even look at Tapping that way.

Just this morning I realized that after all these years of preaching about Empathizing with Chironic Despair, it’s never occurred to me to Empathize with Fear!

When I did, the Subject Changed immediately!  Gratitude for the Grace!  That’s the bottom line here astrologically.

Pectolite makes those little Cyst-like 3D fans that end up like partial spheres as they grow.  That’s a matrix of Datolite Crystals that the Pectolite grew on.  Both are Calcium Silicates; the Pectolite pulled the Sodium out of the molten Calcium Silicate that mothered them, while the Datolite pulled out the Boron.  As a Shamanic Borosilicate, Datolite helps Differentiate what in the Unconscious is Undifferentiated.  That’s the nature of the Unconscious; it’s Undifferentiated.  Pectolite focuses Light and Conscious Attention on what’s been Differentiated.  Boron is the Fifth element, the Teacher.  Sodium is the Eleventh element, the Light-Giver.  Silicon, the Fourteenth element, Balances Polarities.

When we’re working on Big “topics” that require multi-Lifetime Healings – like acceptance of Death as Trance Reformation, or recognition of Trance Reformation as Ego Death and the role of Grief, we achieve in one Lifetime the Separation but not the Reintegration.  So the Differentiation appears in later Lifetimes as Cystic, and our process of Discovery to locate (Realization) and Heal (Reintegration) the Cyst constitutes the process of Consciousness.  When we have a Soul Contract to Heal a particular Cyst, it becomes Malignant – it demands more and more of our Energy until it finally gets our Attention (Realization) – or not.  I’m not saying Cancer can necessarily be Healed this way, I’m suggesting that Cancer may be a useful metaphor for Held Emotions.