Archive for the ‘Abandonment and Suffocation’ Category

Community and Accountability

November 23, 2022

Excerpts from Aluna Joy Yaxkin’s Newsletter from today…

“First, it’s clear that what is arriving for us now cannot be assessed alone. The monk-like sojourn experience is no longer valid, not for long term. This new world we are entering is inter-connected, but not dependent, and is fueled by community, and this community is to be connected to the earth and the cosmos… Secondly, we are being asked to hold a unique balanced presence and it was clear we do not understand what this is. . . Not yet anyway…

“I may not be totally clear about what this presence actually is, because it’s not something that can come from the mind, or can be explained with words. It radiates from the heart. There is no pretense or specialness emanating from this presence. In fact it’s anything but. It is an egoless quiet power, a presence. It is easy. It is simple. It is truth. It is love. It is about showing up authentically all the way.”

Her full message is at https://www.facebook.com/alunajoyyaxkin, right-hand column, scroll down.

Jupiter, whose Energy is Lit Up by Standing Still in the Sky till 3:02 pm PST 23 November 2022 (GMT 11:02 pm 23rd; IST 4:32 am 24th; AEDT Qld 9:02 am 24th), Expands Everything, including the Karmic Blocks that we’re Working on. That’s actually a Blessing, though it’s likely to Feel quite the opposite. One of quickest ways we have to Reject Emotions we don’t like, is to Blame them on someone else. “You make me Angry!” “It makes me so Sad when you say that.” “You’ve Made my Day!” Our favorite Emotions to Reject are our Abandonment and our Suffocation.

We Feel Our Abandonment when we Feel Lonely and “Miss” someone, when we Feel Ignored or Discounted, especially while Sharing Vulnerable Emotions, or when we’re Disrespected or Discriminated against. We Feel Our Suffocation when someone “crowds” us, Intrudes upon the Physical Space we want around us in the Moment, asks questions that are Uncomfortable for us in Moment, or when we feel like someone is “Interrogating” us about a Sensitive Issue, with little or no Empathy. When our Abandonment or Suffocation is Triggered, it is so Easy to Judge and Blame the other person and make them Accountable for Our Feelings, which is a Dead End Growth-Wise.

Most of Our Abandonment and Suffocation is Karmic. While every Child will Encounter Abandonment and Suffocation, it’s not likely to become much of an Issue for anyone if it isn’t Karmic. However, when we look at how much Abandonment and Suffocation influence History and Politics, we have to conclude that it’s a Big Issue for Huperity. How many Wars can be traced to Insults? Certainly All of the Religious Wars. Abuse is the epitome of Suffocation. “Feminism” is all about Abandonment (Lack of Respect) and Suffocation (Abuse). Abandonment is a major Enforcement tool for the Patriarchy, as in “You’re Fired!” So we’re dealing with Karma that’s more than Personal. Culturally Approved Karma is always harder to Let Go.

Abandonment and Suffocation are things that We Feel, and All of our Emotions Are Our Own. No one else ever makes us Feel Angry or Sad or Loved or Excited or Scared. What they say or do may Trigger Our Feelings, but those Feelings Are Ours, and if we ever want to be Free or Enlightened or 5D’d, we have to Own Them as Ours and Ours Alone. Failing to Own our Emotions can dump us out of having Control Over Time, and always Separates us from the Reality of Interpersonal Dynamics.

Marshall Rosenberg, a Rogerian psychologist, developed a way of Speaking and Hearing that he called “Non-Violent Communication,” or “NVC,” that shifts our Orientation toward our Feelings into Ownership. It’s simple to describe, but very difficult to adhere to in practice. Regardless, it teaches us about Ownership of our Emotions, so it’s very useful even if we never get it right. For instance, “You make me Angry!” becomes…

“When you called me an Asshole, I Felt Angry, which Feels Imbalanced to me. I Need to Feel Balanced, so I’m wondering if you could tell me what it was that struck you as Asinine.”

Or, these days, “I Need to Feel Safe, so are you willing to tell me whether or not you have a gun or a knife or a hammer?”

No guarantee that it will keep your Nose unbroken, but at least it Avoids Blame and Judgment, whether the other person recognizes that or not. Your aim isn’t to Own being an Asshole, or to get even, it’s to Create or Continue Connection with the other person, though Marshall always emphasized that how long or hard you want to Work at Creating or Continuing Connection is totally about your own Pleasure! Outside of practicing NVC or some other external Goal (like keeping a job or avoiding Injury or Death), you may have absolutely no Pleasure in Pursuing Connection with someone who calls you an Asshole. In which case, you back away, Carefully.

The Formula is a Neutral Observation about what occurred, followed by a Description of the Feeling it Triggered in us, followed by our Preference or Need to Feel or Be otherwise, and finished with a Request of the other person. Finishing with a Request keeps the Conversation Flowing, so you aren’t just making Proclamations. Here’s a super-simple introduction, with links to more detail…

If you click on the “Watch on =>YouTube” button, you’ll get a column of additional ‘Tubes, including several by Marshall himself. Like I say, it is very difficult to adhere to in practice. Here’s another ‘Tube on what it’s like when we’re Triggered…

NVC is especially useful in Cleaning Up our Self-Talk. For instance, replacing “You Idiot, there you go Doing That Again” with “Wow, I just Noticed How Self-Abusive I Can Be! Terrific! Now I can start to Change that Self-Sabotaging Habit!” There’s a Powerful article on this at https://www.theguardian.com/science/2021/jan/16/inner-voice-self-criticism-psychologist-ethan-kross-chatter-voice-head, about psychologist and neuroscientist Ethan Kross’s Emotion and Self Control Lab at Michigan University.

Dr. Kross’s book Chatter: The Voice in Our Head and How to Harness It sounds like an excellent source for someone who gets stuck inside their head in what I used to call Helicopter Trips – eternal arguments between different points of view – before I Learned how to quell the rotors by moving from Heads-versus-Tails to the Coin between them.

In the 23 November Jupiter and New Moon chart, you may not have noticed that Damocles is still Lit Up. It Unxes (1 Sign or Pattern-Breaking) Jupiter (the Exaggerated Expansion of our Acceptance of Emotionality SuperPower), Squares (3 Signs or Challenges) the New Moon, and Trines (4 Signs or Dumb-Luck Blessings) the Rebirth into Unconditional Love SuperPower. Not only is it tightly entangled with the Jupiter-New Moon Meat of the week, it’s also tied up in a Deep Knot of other planets – Herakles (Zeus’s Hit Man for the Patriarchy), Vesta (Growth of Consciousness), Phaedra (Shame), and Gonggong (Intrusive Memories). What a mess!

The Stellium (Group of 3 or more planets) – the Deep Knot – is about Taking Ownership of Our Shame and Our Own Role in the Perpetuation of the Patriarchy. We may be dealing with Shame so Deep that we don’t even consider it to be Shame – we just don’t talk about it because we Fear it would Estrange everyone we know. Shame that isn’t even Ours, but was passed down to us from previous generations. It wasn’t that long ago that Men Believed that they Owned their Daughters and it was their Right and Privilege or even Obligation to “Teach” them about Sex. And not that long ago that Women had no Choice but to buy into that Regime if they wanted to continue Eating, and perhaps had no Choice because the Shame would have been Unbearable if it was out in the Open. Who among us are Immune from those sorts of Ancestors? Would we even Know?

We don’t have to Open Up to others about our Fears around these kinds of Shame, but it will be Powerful to Acknowledge this kind of Shame to ourself, and Accept Ownership of it – Very Carefully, as we have to be meticulous about Avoiding Blame, especially Self-Blame. This Energy is embedded in the very Core of Western European Colonialism and its cousin White Supremacy. We’re obviously already Feeling the next astroevent after Jupiter-New Moon – a Station of Nessus (Emphasis on Abuse and Privilege) at 3:01 am PST (GMT 11:01 am, IST 4:31 pm, AEDT Qld 9:01 pm) 27 November.

We aren’t going back to the Painful days of 2015-2017, when Nessus and Gonggong were traveling together in early Pisces, both Out of Bounds, Lighting Up everyone who was already Aware of their own childhood Abuse and Opening many others to theirs, in very Emotional (Pisces) circumstances. In the Jupiter-New Moon chart, Nessus has moved nine Degrees beyond Gonggong, far enough that our November adventures aren’t about Abuse per se, but about the Shame around it. The Degree Symbol for the Initiation of the new Nessus-Gonggong Cycle on 19 May 2015 in 4 Pisces was Total Chaos Of Time, Space, Emotion, Direction, Boundaries, Lifetimes, etc etc, with the Jewel in the Heart of Lotus Not Easy to Find, Requiring Union with the Soul.

Crazy-Making, in other words. This is a Journey we’re Stuck with for at least another century. Both planets have very elongated orbits, so Cycle times are not consistent. The previous Cycle was 150 years, but our estimates of their orbits from current knowledge runs only to 2100. Those of us who Remember those days in 2015-2017, are very Grateful that Reality has Settled Down quite a bit since then, even as Chaotic as it currently is. We’ve had a lot of on- and off-planet Allies helping us Seek the Jewel. Ajoite, a hydrated Potassium-Sodium-Copper-Aluminum Mica, often occurring as a subtle Aqua tint in Quartz Crystals, is one of those Allies that Mother Earth has given us, an Ally that’s Reputed to Power our Resurrection. Aho! – So Be It!…

Moon Springing OutaBounds

March 21, 2021

The Spring Equinox chart looks very Benign – a Fire Grand Trine (Dumb-Luck Blessings) among…

  • Sun (Essence) entering Aries (Intuitive New Adventures),
  • Asteroid Klotho (New Beginnings) on the Cusp of Sagittarius (Letting Go of What’s Obsolete), and
  • Dwarf planet Varuna (The Life Force) on the Cusp of Leo (Self-Confidence)

…while…

  • Dwarf planets Ixion (Our Forbidden Genius) on the Cusp of Capricorn (Pragmatism) and
  • Sedna (Converting Fear to Power) at the end of Taurus (Manifested Form)

…sit at the Midpoints, making an Almost-Grand Sextile (Great Ease with Any Project After We Take the First Step).

That leaves a Vacancy (We have to supply the Missing Energy ourself to make it work) at the Cusp of Libra (Meeting Other). However, asteroid Narcissus is there – handy, since it’s their time to Bloom. The Suggestion is that we should Meet Other with Full Self-Assurance and Nothing to Hide for the next three months. If Other isn’t Receptive to your Confident Vulnerability, it’ll be Their Loss, not yours. It’ll just tell you not to Waste Your Time, as there are an Infinite number of Others in the Universe, and most of them are more Open.

If your Feelings are Hurt by their Rejection, it’s Your Own Pre-Existing Abandonment, and it’s up to you to Own It. Have a good hard look at How it Feels, so you Recognize it whenever it arises, and then be very Loving with Yourself there. Abandonment doesn’t happen in the Present Moment, it’s Karmic, and it’s yours. Rejection might occur in the Now, but so what, that happens frequently and it’s not a Big Deal. When it becomes a Big Deal, it’s because of Contamination from Your Own Karmic Abandonment. Then, Poor-Sweetheart yourself and move on.

We all have varying degrees of Karmic Abandonment and Karmic Suffocation (when, rather than Rejection, we Feel the Need to Reject Other), usually one stronger than the other in our Personality, though we all have both. If your Emotions get involved when you are Criticized or Not Seen, that’s you, not them. When you Feel the Need to Criticize somebody, it’s not about them, it’s about you. Of course the general rule is, If you want to Criticize someone, first walk a mile in their Shoes – that way, when you do Criticize them, you’ll be a mile away and you’ll have their Shoes. Sounds right out of the Narcissus playbook, doesn’t it!

Meanwhile, the Moon…

  • Went Out of Bounds (Expect to be more Emotional – and watch how your Intellectual Rationalizations for your own Karmic Limits arise so Effortlesslythat is, how Easy it is to Blame Other) at 7:06 am PDT 20 March 2021 in 19 Gemini, on asteroid Psyche (Jealousy, Goddess of the Soul).
  • It reaches its peak Outaboundedness and Stands Still to turn around at 1:35 am PDT 22 March at 26 Degrees North in 11 Cancer on asteroid Vesta (Unconscious Limiting Beliefs).
  • It returns In Bounds at 6:18 pm PDT 23 March at 2 Leo on Varuna (Vitality).

It’s Intriguing that, with Narcissus filling the Solar Vacancy, the Moon is Stationary while Merged with (Conjunct) Vesta, but only a Degree from asteroid Aphrodite (Love, Beauty, Passion, Vanity), as it was Aphrodite’s Jealousy that intended to Punish Psyche, who was already dealing with the Jealousy of her sisters. So, in the context of our Vanity, the Out of Bounds (Lit Up) Moon (our Instincts and our Willingness to Manifest our Heart’s Desires) moves from Psyche to Vesta-Aphrodite – Reviewing the status of our Unconscious Self-Love – and then on to Varuna.

The Teaching is that a, if not the, cause of Physical and Emotional Dis-Ease (Varuna) is our Belief that we aren’t Lovable as we Are, so we have to Compete to Obtain Love. Yet Love is about Partnership and Collaboration, the Opposite of Competition.

And if we’re talking about Jealousy, Vanity, and Competition, where is Eris? Aphrodite was one of the three Contestants for Eris’s Golden Apple for the Fairest of them All. We talked about the Waning Square from Pluto to Eris in the previous post. If we’re investing in preparation for 5D, Teachings about Unconscious Competition will be one of our most Valuable Gifts.