Authenticity and Self-Sovereignty II

Nothing beats a Manganotantalite Crystal, if you can find one, for facilitating Communication.

  Ö    Ö    Ö    Ö    Ö 

Pluto, which is Standing Still today (that means it’s influence is much Stronger than usual) represents Transformation.  Since we only see the shadows of “Reality” on our cave wall – which means that the small part of it that our six senses allow us to Witness is filtered through our Limiting Beliefs – we usually spell that “Trance(Re)Formation.”  That is, the Trance that our Limiting Beliefs impose upon us, is up for revision.  Another word we often associate with Pluto is Mandatory or Compulsive.  Shifts promulgated by Pluto are often just that – not optional.  We often perceive them as happening to us rather than something we Created, and since we usually see Pluto as bigger than the Individual, there’s a large grain of Truth there.

There are obviously many many facets and flavors of Ego Death running around, and Pluto qualifies as a trigger for that, though there are multiple other triggers as well.  But what most folks consider the Bigger Transformation is when we Change Vehicles, or Let Go of our current Physical Body.  Here’s a long-time palliative care nurse (that means nursing to the Dying) listing the most frequent Regrets that people have as they’re Letting Go of their Body…

http://bronnieware.com/regrets-of-the-dying/

The most frequent Regret is…

“I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”

That’s the Yintegrity we’ve been talking about for the last several years as we’ve worked through our 2012-15 Uranus-Pluto adventures.  The third-most frequent Regret is…

“I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.”

Which we’ve been talking about in the previous post.  Reading that post, you may well come up against a Dilemma.  If no one is willing to hear them, what to do?  There are only so many Pisces Folk around willing to soak up spilled Emotions, and the more Trance Reformations there are, the more Emotions there are to be spilled.  Trance Reformations are usually introduced by a cataract of suppressed Trauma emerging into Consciousness, which triggers a flood of Present-Moment Emotion in response, and Liberates a tsunami of Fear of an Unknown Future.  That’s the best case!  More often, our internal Protectors try to block the original cataract, which then Manifests as untoward exterior Events, creating more Trauma.  Taking Full Responsibility for mopping all that up is a Herculean task.

A paragraph from Van der Kolk’s The Body Keeps the Score, p.296…

“It is one thing to process memories of trauma, but it is an entirely different thing to confront the inner void – the holes in the soul [or aura] that result from not being wanted, not having been seen, and not having been allowed to speak the truth.  If your parents’ faces never lit up when they looked at  you, it’s hard to know what it feels like to be loved and cherished.  If you come from an incomprehensible world filled with secrecy and fear, it’s almost impossible to find the words to express what you have endured.  If you grew up unwanted and ignored, it is a major challenge to develop a visceral sense of agency and self-worth.”

We begin to see why Change is so dangerous, and we haven’t even considered how often it’s purposely hijacked by the internal and external Lizards to their own advantage – the internal Lizards shift the Energy into long-repressed and over-reactive Anger channels, and the external Lizards use the resulting Confusion to stoke their Greed.

So the Planet is awash in a Biblical flood.  What to do?  The Galactic Center informs us that we just have to Take Full Responsibility to move ourself forward one slog at a time.  If there is no one to hear you Express your Feelings, write or paint or draw them out.  Take time to Listen to music that does Express or trigger your Feelings, Notice what happens in your Body when you do, and be Loving and Gentle with it and with yourself.  Love is All There Is.  No matter how horrible a Feeling can be, if you work at it you can find some Empathy for the part of you that Feels it.  “You Poor Baby, that’s Horrible!” and Embrace that Poor part of you.  Even if you Hate that part of yourself, you may be able to find some Empathy for your Hater.  “You Poor Hater, they really treated you Horribly!” 

One small step toward Loving some orphaned part of ourself.

Just opening the door a crack.  More will follow, but none of it will be as hard as that first small step.

If you are lucky enough to have a Feeling-Expression partner to practice with, you’ll have plenty of Challenges with that too.  Mercury (Communication) is Retrograde in early Libra (Introduction to Other), after all.

Mercury Triple-Crosses Vesta, Juno, and Pluto during this Retrogradation.  We usually refer to a Triple-Crossing as the Can-Opener, the Exposition, and the Confidence-Builder; look up one of those terms in the CATEGORIES list if you’re a new reader.  Vesta (Limiting Beliefs) and Juno (the Edges of Consciousness) are the Star Dancers in this weekend’s Total Eclipse of the Heart.  And we know about Pluto now!  Mercury thrice Conjoins Juno, Opposes Vesta, and Squares Pluto.

And by the way, the Eclipse chart features a Quintile Yod to Mars.  A Quintile Yod says this is what we’re Learning here.  Mars symbolizes Action and Assertiveness; it may be Asking you to tone down certain Reactions where you verge on Power-Over, and it may be Asking you to beef up other Reactions where you allow Others to Power-Over you, and probably both.

So what suggestions can we provide that might make Feeling-Expression a little easier?  Maybe these…

• When someone succeeds in Expressing a Feeling, and they know that it’s been Heard, they usually don’t need to say a lot more (about that Feeling).  You’ll see a shift in their shoulders or their breathing or the tension in their face.  If they’re intellectualizing their Feelings, they’ll go on and on about them and you’ll never get a word in edgewise.  If you get filibustered and can’t find a way to change it, you may just need a different Feeling-Expression partner.
• Sometimes it works to ask whether or not you’re Hearing their Feelings correctly; “So it sounds like you might be Angry about the way they treated you?”  If “Angry” is a hot-button word for them they might Hear your question as an accusation, but even if they do, it has the potential to move the exchange from Venting to actual Communication.
• When is it your turn?  Some people are so tangential with their Feelings, or so backed up, that they have no room to Hear anyone else.  Don’t martyr yourself to try to rescue them; that’s a lose-lose strategy.  When you’re bored listening to them repeat themself, it’s time to change venues.
• If you can introduce a Talking Stick or a timer, that might help, but you’re better off watching for that deep breath or lowering of the shoulders or relaxing of the face muscles as your cue to hand off the Talking Stick, rather than a timer.  A timer can easily introduce greater Frustration.
• Be watchful for your own Fears and Protections.  If you get uncomfortable hearing someone Fearfully talking about their Fear or Angrily talking about their Anger, that’s a huge clue for you about what you probably need to Open up to.  If you’re unable to be Present and Neutral for the Other, it’s probably best to change the plot.  Even just saying “Whoa, that scares me!” or “I’m really nervous around Anger; can we detour?” or the like has the potential to create progress.  They may be comfortable enough with their process to be able to stop and be Present for you to talk about what’s coming up for you.  Or you may need to take a break and work on your own with Lovingly and Gently Embracing your own Feelings for a while.
• Any exchange of Feeling Expression can get lost in the Emotions.  It’s a fabulous way to Notice when you or they (or both) get hijacked by the Emotion and are unable to Witness it from a more Present and Neutral part of the Self.  That’s invaluable Guidance, but your exchange may or may not be able to recover from a hijacking.  Even if you can’t recover the exchange, you can follow the Guidance.

It’s a lot easier to list these things than it is to do them.  Remember that Confusion is the First Sign of Growth and that Curiosity is what gives the Cat nine lives.  If you start to get Overwhelmed, Tap on it.  Use Trial and Success – give it a try, see what worked and honor yourself and your practice partner for it, Gently look to see what might be improved and be Loving and Gentle with your tendency to self-criticize.  If you can do such a post-mortem with your exchange-mate, that’d be very valuable.

Authenticity and Self-Sovereignty

Rhodochrosite Crystals, symbol of the Heart’s Tenderness.

A reader writes…

“I still seem to be alienating everyone in my crosshairs; my orphan, abandonment, archetype, as well as non.acceptance from my ‘family of origin,’ and other sundry members, mirroring back their disdain of me?  hmmmmm.  I speak what I feel, and that is very hard for others.”

Yup, welcome to the club.  Our Olde Ego will try every trick at its disposal to help us Resist Rebirth, because the Ego is in charge of keeping us Safe, and at least in some sense it’s been working (we’re still alive), while that Rebirth stuff is Unknown, and very risky!  What it we lose the Privileges and Comforts we have?  Rebirth is a one-way ticket, you can’t go Home again. 

So you bet, all of our historical and Karmic trans-Lifetime Traumas are up in our face.  The modern experiment with Individualism is not old, and our current Uranus-Pluto version of it dates only from the 1960s.  The roots of our Species are in Community, the realms where Identity was not Individual at all, Identity consisted only of our roles in our Community.  It’s so easy to Identify with job and family and locality (and religion and race!) because those Archetypes have deep history – Patterns developed in millennia of  Repetitions. 

Through most of Western Civilization, only Royalty had any opportunity to explore Individuation, and that was very constrained.  Once the Industrial Devolution elevated Money to the primary means of exchange (rather than, eg, labor exchanged directly for the right to eat), anyone could potentially live as Royalty, if they were avaricious enough.  The lure of that potential is what feeds Greed.  If you read French history, it’s shocking how similar the stories are to today, Royalty is just replaced by today’s sports heroes, entertainers, vulture capitalists, and the rest of the 0.1%.

The Uranus-Pluto Cycle alternates between 115 years and 140 years, depending on whether Pluto is closer to us, in and around Scorpio, or farther from us, in and around Taurus.  The previous Cycle began in 1851.  We don’t get a lot of practice – that is, few Repetitions – with this Energy.  This is only our second Exploration of it since the Industrial Devolution began.

When we personalize our Traumas, it was our fault that we were Traumatized.  The result is a lack of Self-Trust and a deep-seated lack of Self-Love.  That’s what’s being Mirrored back to you.  What happens when we move to the space of “What you think of me is none of my business?”  The Abandonment and Fear we feel when we Imagine that space is our Community Archetype in action.  But we do need to Imagine that space, and perhaps even Embrace it and work towards it, PIAVA it.  And we most certainly need to be Actively Loving and Gentle with any and all of our Resistance to that space.  Compulsive Pleasing is a guaranteed ticket to the lowest common denominator.

Then there’s the matter of how we Speak our Feelings.  There are useful protocols, like Non-Violent Communication or NVC…

https://www.cnvc.org/

To start with, you might want to take your associates out of “your crosshairs” and instead put them In the Light.  There are many “rules” for Speaking our Truth that aren’t always easy to use.  A random sample of these…

• “I” Statements only, using only Emotion words as the adverb, and no object allowed – “I Feel [Angry, Sad, etc.], period.”  You can find lists of Emotion words on the internet, but be very careful using adjectives or nouns instead of adverbs; you’re on thin ice.  For instance, one list includes “a waste” as an Emotion-word, but it’s really a very loaded intellectualization of an Emotion.  To me, even “wasted” seems more like a Physical condition than an Emotion.
• “I am [Emotion-word]” is an expression of Identity, not an expression of Feeling.  By simply switching from “I am” to “I Feel” you may be able to Witness your Feelings rather than being Possessed by them.  That simple step can produce Miracles.
• “I Feel E-word because __” isn’t an expression of Feeling, it’s an intellectualization of your Feelings.  Intellectualizations of Feelings are almost always wrong.  You could Feel that way because of unprocessed remnants from your Lifetime in Rome, not because of your family of origin.  Even if your family-of-origin members were with you there in Rome (which isn’t unlikely), they’ll probably interpret your remarks as Present-Moment.
• “I Feel E-word because you __” isn’t an expression of Feeling, it’s an accusation.  Don’t be surprised if Defensiveness is the result.
• “I Feel like __” is also an intellectualization, not an expression of Feeling.
• Just because you’re expressing your Feelings cleanly, doesn’t mean they’ll be received cleanly.
• For instance, “I Feel E-word when you __” is part of a strategy that NVC recommends – it’s relatively clean, but will often still be heard as an accusation.
• If you are able to express your Feelings cleanly, and you do it meticulously, it at least allows you to Discern whether or not you’re being heard.
• If you aren’t being heard, there isn’t much you can do about it.  That’s when people raise their voices.  When someone else raises their voice, do you recognize that you need to Listen harder, or do you stop Listening?  When you raise your voice, do others recognize that they need to Listen harder, or do they stop Listening?
• Expressing your Feelings, cleanly or not, does not obligate another to want to hear them.  It’s useful to test the waters first, before you throw your Pearls before pink animals.
• You can gain a great deal by exploring your Feelings in your Body rather than talking about them.  Where do you Experience it?  What does it Feel like, Physically?  Is it constant, or variable?  Tense or loose?  Physically Painful?  Does it move around?  Are you thinking?  Do thoughts change how you Experience it?  Stay with it for a while.
• If your Feeling is intense, you might want to Tap on it a few times until it lightens up a bit, before you talk about it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QzVd6Ww0as4 .
• We are all moving toward our True Community or Tribe, where we are usually understood, but that search will be delayed by lack of Self-Love.  If we Judge ourself, we’ll Judge our True Community too.  We may need to Date a Mystic.
• Imagine how you’ll Feel when you do find your True Community, and do that as frequently and as long as you possibly can.  If you’re honest with yourself when your Yes-Buts arise (you’ll be Dating your Mystic Self), this is probably the fastest way to Manifest True Community.
• Once it’s easy for you to sink into that Feeling and stay there much of the time, you’ll be your own True Community, and you won’t need Others to Validate you.  Then you’ll attract Others like you because they’ll enjoy your company, not because they feel obligated to Validate your Feelings.
• For many of us, our Families of Origin are a primary source of our current-Lifetime Trauma.  We can’t expect them to help us work through our Trauma, because they were very likely either as Traumatized as we were, or they were the perpetrator!  Unfortunately, it’s often both.  We have to work through our Traumas with Supportive Others, professional or otherwise, before we can be Discerning about our Safety around our FOO, and Self-Loving enough to permanently remove ourself from People who are Toxic to us.

Bessel Van der Kolk’s book The Body Keeps the Score is an excellent summary of the latest research in methodologies that do and don’t help us release the Trauma that can arise from Abuse (remembered or not), Accidents, Disasters, Karma, and even from chronic mistreatment such as teasing, bullying, or disrespect.  He points out the research showing that Trauma is lodged in the brain, not in the mind.  While it can be accessed and healed through the Body, the mind can’t even see it.  Most of us carry some degree of Trauma, and it’s a major contributor to our Alienation.

The Great Work of Our Time III

Heart-Shaped Eyes ( https://heartshapedeyes.wordpress.com/ ), with a bow of Thanks, leads us to another Perspective on the Great Work of Our Time – toppling Greed and the Patriarchy.  Permaculture can only help us assure that we can eat next year, it won’t burn the shingles to maximize quarterly profits.  Here’s a fabulous anthem for this view of The Work…

https://heartshapedeyes.wordpress.com/2015/09/22/dont-date-a-mystic-by-allison-nappi/ 

Which is the perfect metaphor for our Sun-Juno-Lilith-Makemake-Rahu Stellium and multiple Initiations on the cusp of Libra, aka the Northern Autumn and Southern Spring Equinox, and with both Chaos and Pluto Standing Still.  Not to mention that other Stellium that’s Square to this one.

Rahu is the Hindu name for the North Node or Dragon’s Head; Ketu for the South Node or Dragon’s Tail.

In case you’ve never noticed, Mother Nature is a Mystic.  She’s also a Scorpio.  Scorpio will give you a lot of rope – many chances to show that your lack of Integrity and Responsibility were just oversights not to be repeated – but then, once the rope runs out, Scorpio has no more for you, and there is no turning back.  The end of the rope isn’t tied to the mast.  That was “for a World whose time is over.”  Humans have been dating Mother Nature and thinking of Her as an ATM for a long time now.

I Dentity – September’s Bottom Line

The Bottom Line here in September 2015 is I-Dentity.  Whatever it is that is causing you Physical or Emotional or Other Pain, it’s root is in your Identity – Who You Believe Yourself To Be, aka your “Ego,” though Ego is commonly used to mean Selfishness, not Identity, so the word isn’t very useful here.  Psychologically, the role of the Ego is to keep us Alive, so anyone you know who brags about being “beyond” Ego in that sense, is talking from the grave (which voices of course can be useful, if they really are beyond Vanity and Agendas).  You’re being Asked, often not at all gently or politely, to loosen your Identification with whatever is creating your Pain. 

“You” are NOT your Body; “you” Inhabit your Physical Vehicle.  It’s important, take good care of it.  Change the oil and drive carefully.  But don’t BE it.  Fender-benders are Painful!

“You” are NOT your Emotions; your Emotions serve to Guide you through daily Life, as long as they aren’t stuck in the distant Past.  If your Emotions are causing you Pain this month, it’s either because for some reason you are unable to follow their Guidance, or because they are not Relating to the Present Moment, but to some Past Trauma – usually both.  Focusing on your Physical Experience moment to moment may help you root out whatever blocks your Present-Moment access to your all-important Emotional Guides.

“You” are NOT your mind.  Mind is Dualistic and Reductionist; “you” are Infinite and Whole, whether you know it or not moment to moment.

“You” are NOT “your” Spirit.  Spirit is Energy, it does not have Boundaries the way Matter does.  If Spirit is bringing you Grief, it may be because your sense of Identity is not sufficiently Defined.

“You” are NOT your Karma, though of course we all believe ourselves to Be exactly that, or we’d all be Free.  That’s a tautology.

“You” ARE your Consciousness.  While the Edges of Consciousness are very flexible and Change constantly, its Boundaries do exist.  At one moment you ARE your sibling’s sibling, at another your Job, your Family, your Country, your Hunger, your Gender, your car, your lawn, your Relationship, your Addictions, etc etc.  All you need to Change Consciousness is Intention; it’s Changed already before you even think it.

Step out of your Pain by shifting your Consciousness.  WHO would you have to be, to be free of your Pain?  Would that be an attractive Identity for you, or would it cause other problems?  Do you actually WANT to be free of your Pain, or is it a Safe cocoon for you?  There are an infinite number of marks on the Wheel of Consciousness.  Keep turning till you find one you like.

Saturn is now in Sagittarius; The Most Important Thing is Letting Go.  There are a lot of other astroindications indicating this – the upcoming Eclipse on the Opposition between Vesta (Belief) and Juno-Lilith (Consciousness-Yindependence) just to give one example, not to mention the incredible Galactic Center Stellium (Taking Full Responsibility for Who You Really Are and Grieving the Loss of Who You Used to Think You Were).

You may use some of these words differently.  If your mind objects to any of these suggested Perspectives, you’ve found a place where you’re having difficulty Letting Go; it’s a Powerful clue.  This blog should be Useful for Opening you to New Perspectives.  If you regard it as an Authority of any kind, then shift your Consciousness by Intending to Be Your Own Authority!  You are anyway; it’s only a question of whether you should choose to accept the assignment.

The Great Work of Our Time

Excerpts from “The Great Work of Our Time,” by John Liu, in Permaculture, Autumn 2015, pp.4-8…

“Right now, the funds needed to address climate change are swirling in a vortex of highly paid consultants who endlessly debate what to do.  This financial capital needs to flow to the individual and the collectivised farmers, gardeners, and landscape restorers who, through their efforts to increase soil carbon, increase the height of vegetative canopies and protect biodiversity, are leading our species’ efforts to mitigate and adapt to human induced climate change.  Imagine what we could do if we engaged people worldwide in restoring the Earth’s ecological function?”

“A significant and growing number of people are teaching themselves and others how to grow biologically healthy diverse soils rich in organic matter.  They are learning that increases in organic material and microbiologic communities in the soil also retain vastly more moisture, especially when constantly covered by perennial vegetative growth.  These same people are learning to grow closed canopy, multi-story polyculture food forests.  These perennial systems align human systems with nature and have an entirely different result than continuing to practice neolithic agriculture or our current toxic industrialised agricultural model.”

“We cannot erode the fertility and hydrological regulation, and kill the microbial communities that build the Earth’s living soils, and expect to have more productivity.  You may have short-term gains from artificial inputs, but over the long term you collapse the system and have nothing.”

“Acknowledging what is real also means turning our backs on what is false.  We are the end of an era that will be known mainly for its waste, pollution, materialism, wanton violence and foolish addiction to fossil fuels.  It can be frightening to change but, when you think about what we are leaving behind, change can be seen to be a very good thing.  We need to change so many things.  This is our chance.  Not only can we address climate change and make our food systems healthier and more resilient, we can and must remake human society and economy to be fair for everyone.  This is being recognised and this knowledge can empower people all over the world, engaging their creativity and giving their lives meaning.

“As the endgame of this unsustainable era plays out, many people are standing on the sidelines.  Their intelligence, imagination, energy and abilities are needed to move to the next level in human consciousness.”

Read the full article at…

http://www.exacteditions.com/read/permaculture/no-85-autumn-2015-44457/7/2/

Find more about Permaculture magazine at…

http://www.permaculture.co.uk/

Watch John’s films at…

http://www.permaculture.co.uk/videos/green-gold-how-can-we-regenerate-large-scale-damaged-ecosystems

http://www.permaculture.co.uk/videos/restoring-ecosystems-preventing-flooding-and-building-soil-john-liu

Watch more Permaculture videos at…

http://www.permaculture.co.uk/videos

We have five years and three months before the Robots begin to take over, and the Robots will be in the service of the Haves, not the Havenots.  Despite rumors of Harmony and Trust Abounding, Aquarius is an Air Sign – intellect.  It’s not about the Heart.  The Haves will continue to consolidate their Power and squeeze as much Life as they can out of the Havenots, and we will need to create our own alternative Life without the Master’s Money.  Another advantage of perennial canopy is that it hides a Food Forest from Google Earth and the Sheriff of Nottingham’s insatiable thirst for taxation.

The Digital Age replaces the Industrial Revolution wholesale beginning with the Jupiter-Saturn Conjunction of December 2020.  Meanwhile, the incipient Chiron-Neptune Fresh Violets in an Ancient Pottery Bowl and Uranus-Pluto Ouija Board Cycles continue to expand their domain, preparing a fallback for the Atlantean collapses of the Digital Age.

Up Next (18.9.15)

A slot-canyon tributary of the Colorado River in the Grand Canyon of Arizona.

  λ    λ    λ    λ    λ 

We’ve a very nice bundle of Grace going for us for the next day or several, that will help us find a Sustainable Response to Fear and Anger and help us understand how to set good Boundaries that Protect our True Self without being offensive.

Respectively, a Grand Trine between Sedna, Ceres, and the Sun, and a Grand Trine between Pallas, Uranus, and Venus, the latter stretched into a Kite focused on the Mercury Station.

At least through the end of September, we’re still trying to find the Miracles that will allow us to tap our Unlimited Potential to Express our most Potent but most buried Selves.  The key is not to worry about Manifesting the Miracles, but Focus on what you’re Learning about Miracles, Self-Expression, and your Limiting Beliefs.

Chiron’s backing out of its long-term T-Square with Chaos and Ixion, but it’s got another Degree to go before it’s liberated.  Meanwhile, the Chaos-Ixion Opposition is getting very close, but Chaos turns Retrograde before it’s Exact.

Meanwhile, Expect the next week to be very Intense.  We’re likely to get glimpses of Bright Light, but shining through a haze of Jello.  The order of the week is Transformation into Unlimited Potential, but it could also feel like a dark tunnel into lack of definition.  Keep bringing the Focus of your Attention back to What you Want, while being careful not to limit yourself to any defined Mechanism.  Stay with What, and eschew How.  Sometimes talking about it helps make it Real, but here you’ll be better off Meditating on it rather than talking about it.

Both Chaos and Pluto are Stationary 23-24 September, Chaos turning Retrograde and Pluto turning Direct.  Pluto Stations often feel like swimming in Jello; I can’t say I recall my Experience of any recent Chaos Stations, but being prepared to Reach for the Stars will be a boon.  Pluto and Chaos are Quadrinovile to one another, four ninths of the way ’round the loop.  The Quadrinovile is about gaining Dominion through Solitude and Self-Observation.

Then the big Harvest Moon Total Eclipse on 27 September.  As we’ve said, we do have great respect for a Total Eclipse, as a Great Illumination of some element of Reality that for some reason we hadn’t paid any Attention to before this.  Like for instance, suppose the American “media” suddenly realized, “Omigosh, Bernie’s been right all along – there really are some pretty important issues here, like Sea Level Rise and Income Inequality and Racism and Women’s Rights, that we’ve inadvertently overlooked because we thought youall were more entertained by The Donald’s flatulence!  Sorry, we were just so focused on what he might say next!” 

If we’re awake to it, we should receive major Epiphanies about our Limiting Beliefs and What we might gain by dunking over them.  It’s often said that “If we can Visualize it, we’re halfway there.”  If we can Feel what it will Feel like when we are there, then we don’t even need to go there, we can just Enjoy the Feeling, because in fact we are there!  Imagine what it will Feel like when you have absolute Sovereignty over your Actions and Thoughts and Feelings, moment to moment.  Not the ability to censor your Feelings, but Mastery of them, so that you Respond to them appropriately, without being overwhelmed by them, dismissing them, or becoming their Victim.

The Eclipse is at 5 of Aries, “A Triangle with Wings.”  Elsie didn’t say whether it was a Grand Trine or a T-Square or a Finger of God.  The Mirror Point, 5 Libra (the Sun) is “A man revealing to his students the foundation of an inner knowledge upon which a ‘new world’ could be built.”  As the Chiron T-Square foresees, the Eclipsed Moon Conjoins Vesta (our Beliefs) while on the other end of the bar, both Juno (the Edges of Consciousness) and Lilith (Self-Sovereignty) Conjoin the Sun.

Portal 16-17.9.15

Bright Angel Trail in the Grand Canyon of Arizona.

  π    π    π    π    π 

Okay, now we can, to the extent that it’s possible, get back to the Present Moment.  As the internet has been afire with, lots happening 16-17 September…

1. We continue receive great Insight about how to Manifest our Mission – as we intimated in the previous post, Reintegrating our Inner Orphan(s) is an important part of this
   • Makemake Initiates the North Node
2. We’re introduced to major new arenas of Consciousness (Remember that Confusion is the first stage of Growth)
   • Jupiter Opposes Neptune
3. We review all of our Relationships, and how we go about Relating
   • Mercury begins to retrace its progress over the first half of Libra, as Makemake and Juno enter Libra
4. We shift the major portion of our Attention from our Hara (Gut) or Muladhara (Root Chakra) to our Sahasrara (Crown Chakra)
   • Saturn moves from Scorpio into Sagittarius

Let’s take these one at a time before we try to integrate them…

1. Manifesting our Mission: The World has Changed, and our old methods of Surviving no longer work; we need new methods, but what methods?  If we don’t know how the World has Changed, since it’s being Co-Created as we speak, how will we Intuit these?  We have to PIAVA what we need; the intellect won’t be much use for finding the Big Picture, because it operates on Logic, which is based on Assumptions, and all of the Assumptions are Changing and Unknown.  The intellect will be great for painting in how we Want the little pictures to look, once we know the Big Picture.
   • The North Node of course symbolizes our Mission.  Makemake Teaches Survival in new circumstances, and is the embodiment of Manifestation – Make-Make!
   • If you were born between 1931 and 1958, your Makemake is in Cancer, and you Manifest primarily through Nurturance.  If 1958-1986, Leo, through Confidence.  If 1986-2015, Virgo, through Detachment.  Makemake has been dancing with Libra since late 2013, and finally entered Libra for good in mid-June of this year, so henceforth it will be our Relationship to Other that will govern our Manifestations, where “Other” is Not-I and “I” is Who We Believe Ourselves to Be, Moment to Moment.
2. Confusion: We, the 99%, are being Abandoned by the mainstream, which is pandering to the 1%, as the 1% is the only source of Money, and most people are still addicted to Money.  As we get closer to 2020 and the beginning of the Digital Age in earnest, Money will be virtual, tightly controlled, and a Powerful tool for Controlling you.  The Alternate Economy will be going Underground, and the process will be Confusing.  Remember that Confusion is good, as it’s the first stage of Growth.  PIAVA that you Discern whether you’ve replaced Confusion with Fear, Anger, etc., learn to Notice those Feelings rapidly, and Embrace them as the first stage of Growth.  Remember that Neptune represents Confusion when you’re viewing the World through Material Eyes, and Clarity when you’re looking through Spiritual Eyes.  
   • This Jupiter-Neptune Cycle was Initiated along with the Chiron-Neptune Cycle, “Fresh Violets in an Ancient Pottery Bowl,” which governs the Alternate Economy that is developing alongside of Exploitative Capitalism.  The Jupiter-Neptune Opposition is the Blooming of the Cycle; the Fruiting will follow.  The overarching Chiron-Neptune Cycle has only progressed by 3% so far, so remains in its infancy, and is in the process of moving “Underground,” where it will develop out of sight of the mainstream’s attempts to squash it.
3. Relationships: Any and all Relationship issues that have arisen since the end of August are critical study material for the next phase of Life on Earth.  This applies especially to Other People, but also to “Other” of any shape or form, anything and everything that is beyond the scope of Who You Consider Yourself to Be Just Now.  Take Inventory of these issues, as they are of critical ongoing importance for the next 30 years of your Young Life.  Be Loving and Gentle with Yourself around these issues.  For example, have you been Empathizing with the plight of the immigrants from the Middle East, or the plight of the refugees from the devastating Wildfires in the Western US, or even with the overwhelmed Europeans?  These are prototypes for our own situation as the Digital Age develops into Digital Haves and Digital Havenots.  Of course that hasn’t been Co-Created yet – it’s just that it will be Co-Created unless Love can outgun Fear here.
   • Mercury Retrogrades over the first half of Libra, which is about Experimental Exploration of Other.  Not just Other People, but All Things that are Not “I.”  Whatever has arisen in your Young Life since 28 August will be rehashed over the next month, and will be critical material for your Future Manifestation processes, as this Mercury study period corresponds with the entrance of Makemake (Manifestation) and Juno (the Edge of Consciousness) into Libra.
4. Attention: For the last several years we’ve been finding that nothing can be Let Go until we Explore it Fully; unless we have strong Scorpio in our natality, for most of us that involves Suffering.  The protocol has Changed abruptly.  For the next several years, the way to Let Go of what causes us Challenge is to simply do just that – Let Go.  It may come back for additional review, but the first approach is to Let It Go.  Make your additional reviews short and concise, then Let Go again.  This is a hard transition to make.  Remember that our Karma does not Let Go of us, we Let Go of it.  Habits (aka Karma) are made for repetition, and that is their first option.  Choose the second option – Letting Go – and watch to see what happens.
   • Saturn symbolizes The Most Important Thing, and everything else becomes temporarily irrelevant when Saturn is lit up.  In Scorpio, Saturn tells us that The Most Important Thing is to follow everything to its Root Cause.  In Sagittarius, Saturn tells us that The Most Important Thing is to Let Go and Move On.  Sagittarius is Mutable Fire, Mutable as in Mutation and Fire as in Spirit.  Magic is afoot, and its name is Change.  When anything important-Feeling arises, Let It Go and watch to see how it evolves on its own.

So, how might we integrate all of these disparate astroevents?  Mission, Manifestation, Confusion, Growth, Relationships (and Communication and Ideation and Manifestation and Survival and Consciousness thereof), Identity, Focus, Letting Go.  The “rest of” our True Self that may be buried under Conscious, Semi-Conscious, or Unconscious Post-Traumatic Stress, or its alter-ego, Shame.  An Alternate Economy developing around Community rather than Money, and an Exploitative Catpiddleism that’ll do what it can to thwart it for several decades yet (the Chiron-Neptune Waxing Square, when the Alternate Economy “becomes permanent,” doesn’t occur until 2042).  The Co-Creation Process and our own role in it.  Busy, busy, busy!

Sounds like a very germinal Turning Point, and that a good PIAVA might be that we muddle through to put a few positive bricks into the foundation for our Future?

Portal 14.9.15 – Part II

Erin Conwell’s photo of one of the fires in Glacier National Park (Montana) earlier this year, a good symbol for the Ego and the Eruption of unwelcome Unconscious Contents.

  ζ    ζ    ζ    ζ    ζ 

This is Water under the bridge (Monday’s Ceres Station), but as we’ve often said, I find Interpretation to be more valuable than Prediction, and I’m often led to useful Interpretations in the course of writing this blog.

A reader writes…

“Wow, I didn’t realize the intensity of Mars-quincunx-Ceres until yesterday!”

To which I reply … No biscuits!  Dumped me right into one of my worst Chronic childhood Traumas.  I’d be congratulating myself for recognizing that without being totally overwhelmed, if I wasn’t still in the middle of the Re-Experience.

This reader being an astrologer, I can follow with … I think of it though as Mars Square Sedna, with Mars-Quincunx-Ceres the Perpetual Curiosity path (~ I wonder how I can Take Responsibility to Act Sustainably here?) in the Tricolor, said Perpetual Curiosity liberating the Grace in the Ceres-Sedna Trine (in many cases Action taken out of Presence will probably be more sustainable than Action taken out of Fear or Action taken out of Anger) to resolve the Mars-Square-Sedna dilemma, which is something like “Am I Reacting out of Anger, or out of Fear?”  Translating…

The previous post covers this fairly well I think.  If we Act on our Basic Rule of Safety First, we might have enough Presence to delay Acting at all until we’re more grounded.  We could PIAVA “I wonder what would be most effective, Responding to my Fear, Responding to my Anger, or delaying Response.”  And then – Changing the Subject – waiting for our Intuition (or its Mirror, the Universe) to direct us into one course or another.

But it’s a lot more complicated than this.  Mars-Square-Sedna is the base of a Trine Fez, that is, there are two Tricolors across the Square: not just Sedna-Square-Mars-Quincunx-Ceres-Trine-Sedna, but also Mars-Square-Sedna-Quincunx-the Stellium-Trine-Mars – which is why we’ve woven Responsibility into the interpretation above.

Then there’s an additional, intertwined Square and Tricolor, Eris-Square-Ceres-Quincunx-Mars-Trine-Eris.

This additional part of the Ceres Station is another preview of June 2016’s Eris-Uranus Initiation, which will bring up any unfinished business we have left from our 2012-2015 Uranus-Pluto Yintegrity Adventures.  The objective of these Yintegrity Adventures was to bring our True Self into the forefront of our Personality.  Whatever portions are still holding back will get the call.  Problem is, those portions are not holding back because they Want to – far from it! 

Let’s look at a few snippets from Bessel Van der Kolk’s The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma…

“Dissociation is the essence of trauma.  The overwhelming experience is split off and fragmented, so that the emotions, sounds, images, thoughts, and physical sensations related to the trauma take on a life of their own.  The sensory fragments of memory intrude into the present, where they are literally relived.  As long as the trauma is not resolved, the stress hormones that the body secretes to protect itself keep circulating, and the defensive movements and emotional responses keep getting replayed … Many people may not be aware of the connection between their ‘crazy’ feelings and reactions and the traumatic events that are being replayed.  They have no idea why the respond … as if they were about to be annihilated.

Flashback and reliving are in some ways worse than the trauma itself.  A traumatic event has a beginning and an end – at some point it is over.  But for people with PTSD a flashback can occur at any time, whether they are awake or asleep.  There is no way of knowing when it’s going to occur again or how long it will last.  People who suffer from flashbacks often organize their lives around trying to protect against them. … Shame becomes the dominant emotion and hiding the truth the central preoccupation.” [pp.66-67]

“If the fight/flight/freeze response is successful and we escape the danger, we recover our internal equilibrium and gradually [recover].  If for some reason the normal response is blocked – for example, when people are held down, trapped, or otherwise prevented from taking effective action, be it in a war zone, a car accident, domestic violence, or a rape – the brain keeps secreting stress chemicals, and the brain’s electrical circuits continue to fire in vain.  Long after the actual event has passed, the brain may keep sending signals to the body to escape a threat that no longer exists.” [p.54]

“Whenever we feel threatened, we instinctively turn to the first level [of safety], social engagement.  We call out for help, support, and comfort from the people around us.  But if no one comes to our aid [or we’re conditioned to expect no one to], or if we’re in immediate danger, the organism reverts to a more primitive way to survive: fight or flight.  We fight off our attacker, or we run to a safe place.  However, if this fails – we can’t get away, we’re held down or trapped – the organism tries to preserve itself by shutting down … We are then in a state of freeze or collapse.” [p.80]

Trauma can be either Acute (an event or several) or Chronic (prolonged repression of a natural part of ourself).  Our greatest Power (which is usually, as Marianne Williamson avers, our Greatest Fear) often overwhelmed our significant adults as we were growing up.  So they tried to socialize it out of us, very often producing Chronic Trauma in the process.  Or, if our significant adults weren’t Emotionally mature (which was and is often the case, as any child’s significant adults – or older siblings with Power Over us – are often not far out of their teens), they basically exploited our Power for their own ends.  For instance, they would Shame us in order to Feel like they were in Control.  Or Abuse of far worse proportions.

And that additional Square is the base of a Mjolnir focused on Jupiter.  A Mjolnir is formed when a third planet occupies the far midpoint of two planets that Square one another, Bridging the Square with two Trioctiles.  The Octile is about Adjustment and Rebalancing, the “Tri” about Love with Wisdom, the Trioctile about Insight, and the Mjolnir (or Hammer of Thor) is about Epiphany.

So there’s a good chance we’ve been Opened Up to the parts of our Self which have yet to Bloom, and we’ll be working with these parts until next June.  Be Loving and Gentle with them, as they are likely to be some of our most Vulnerable places.  It’s Difficult and can be Terrifying, but it’s about Embracing the Forest Fire, not Extinguishing it.  It contains our Power.

Here’s one of Dr. Kim’s processes to help us through this…

http://events.instantteleseminar.com/?eventid=74490222

Find her at http://drkimderamo.com/ .

I Recant

I Recant my insult of the Eclipse Gods last week. 

The essence of an Eclipse is Illumination, as what was previously an integral part of the background suddenly becomes obvious through its absence.  But I don’t expect much impact from a Partial Eclipse, particularly a glancing blow visible in only a small fraction of the World, because you could easily go about your day without ever noticing that a Partial Eclipse was happening.  However, I experienced an obvious Small Ego Death around the time of Saturday’s Partial Eclipse, so…

I Recant!  May your Powers Reign Supreme, O Eclipse Gods!

And may Nemesis sheath her sword!  I have no disrespect at all for the Total Lunar Eclipse later in the month, as it’s Total and visible from much of the Planet, and I’m looking forward to much Illumination. 

My Small Ego Death?  While passing through an area that is very familiar to me, part of me recognized it not at all.  It was as if there were two different people, or two sets of neurons, evaluating what my eyes were transmitting to the brain.  Three fourths of my Attention was experiencing the Territory anew.  One fourth knew exactly where I was – but I had to Consciously Call that part of me forth, otherwise I would have experienced myself as “lost” – not in a negative sense, as my body knew where to turn, but as in having my Childlike Curiosity triggered by the possibility of Exploring new Territory – a classic Small Ego Death or Identity Rebirth.

Portal 14.9.15 – Ceres Stationary

Grace still abounds through 14 September, which is good because we’re being Challenged with some Very Basic Issues.

The Grace allows us to Act to Take Responsibility to Integrate new information into a reorganization of who we Believe ourselves to Be.  Such a reorg can be very Painful, as it frequently feels like Ego Death.  That is, it Feels like “I am dying!” while what’s really happening is that “I (my Identity) am (dying) being Reborn.”  Plus, the parts of ourself that we’re Integrating are likely to be the parts which till now we’ve Rejected most vigorously (usually on the “advice” of others).  So the Grace is a real Gift.  You may want to make a list of the most damning adjectives you could possibly apply to a person, and check to see if any of those qualities are hidden in the back of your own closet.  Time to Love those Orphans back into the fold.

The Mars-Stellium-Eris Grand Trine, adorned with Haumea and Chaos Kites, which we discussed earlier, persist.  Mars symbolizes Action, Eris New Information, Haumea Rebirth, Chaos Unlimited Potential, and the Stellium is a complex knot of business.  Mars, Eris, Haumea, and Chaos are all within three Degrees of the Pholus-Ixion (Taking Full Responsibility to Embrace and Express the most Rejected and Abandoned portions of our True Self) portion of the Stellium.

One of the Very Basic Issues is around Fear, Anger, and Action.  Are we Conscious of when we are Acting – or have Acted – out of Fear?  Out of Anger?  Those will be lit up, and Self-Forgiveness (and Other-Forgiveness) is definitely useful, but the more important part of the process is making these Actions Conscious.  Of course it’s sometimes appropriate to Act out of Fear (in which cases we may not have time for a lot of Conscious reflection) and Anger (in which cases we may not have the self-composure to pause and reflect).  We may want to get together with a friend and practice how we might be more Conscious in these circumstances.

Namely, a waxing Square from Mars (Anger, Action) back to Sedna (Actions taken out of Fear – or Anger).  I usually think of the Fear side of the Sedna story, but the protagonist’s Fear arose as a result of the antagonist’s Anger!  So we could actually see Sedna either way.

First we’ll have to get Conscious of how Fear and Anger Feel in our Body, so we can recognize them when they arise.  Then we can practice Responding (remember, “Responsibility” means Being Able to Respond) to each. 

An excellent Response to Fear would be Kegels.  We could even practice this Response enough to make it fairly automatic (to some extent it may already be automatic – you can check on that as you get Conscious of how your Body naturally Responds to Fear).  Kegels slow time.  When a power hitter connects with a hundred-mile-per-hour fastball so Consciously that they can control which direction it goes, they’re doing it because they have the ability to control how fast time flows.  Try it out; put on a very suspenseful movie, and do Kegels during the scary parts.  The see how long it (Feels like it) takes you to walk around the block.

An additional and complementary practice would be to PIAVA something like an iterative “I Wonder how I might become more Conscious around Fear.” 

The Mars-Sedna Square is the base of a Trine Fez, with Sedna Quincunx to the Stellium, and the Stellium Trined by Mars.  So we activate the Trine in the Tricolor by exercising unqenchable Curiosity about Taking Responsibility for Fear, or more appropriately, Being Able to Respond to Fear.  A Trine Fez is composed of two Major Tricolors sharing the same Square base.  The other Tricolor is Sedna Squared by Mars, which Quincunxes Ceres, while Ceres in turn Trines Sedna.

Ceres, recall, is the Star of this show, as it is now Stationary and turns Direct on 14 September.  Ceres is about Sustainability, and neither Fear nor Anger are relatively Sustainable, so our Response to this dance is to seek greater Effectiveness in our Responses to Fear and Anger.

  ∑    ∑    ∑    ∑    ∑ 

Oops; accidentally Published before I was finished.  The rest is my notes for Part 2, which will follow soon…

Anger; Mars Quincunx Ceres

Second Very Basic Issue: Making New Information Sustainable (Integration into Consciousness) and Epiphanies

Ceres Square Eris, base of a Jupiter Mjolnir

The Grand Trine has a corner on each of the two Squares

  ∑    ∑    ∑    ∑    ∑ 

In case you lack an ongoing source for the new pictures of Pluto, here’s a pretty good one, with links at the bottom to more…

http://www.universetoday.com/122309/new-pluto-images-show-possible-dunes-crepuscular-rays-unimaginable-complexity/

Parts 1 and 2 of Dr. Kim’s Response to Anxiety…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1i2z5djMdto

https://mbs.drkimderamo.com/launch-page-15504751

http://drkimderamo.com/love-cures-cancer/