Portal 13-14.6 – Scorpio and Virgo

Sagittarius and Scorpio.  Believe it or not, the Sagittarian Wisps are actually Crystals, of Natrolite, sitting on a more recognizable Crystal, Scorpionic Apophyllite.  Nevertheless, things are still not what they seem to be.  The recognizable Crystal is actually a Mica, Apophyllite, even though it looks nothing like a Mica.  And the Wisps are actually a Zeolite, even though they look nothing like any we’d recognize.  A Zeolite is a complex Mineral with pockets.  You wouldn’t think there’d be room in those Wisps for a pocket, let along a complex Mineral.  If you get the right Zeolite, you can dump it into a toxic mess, and the Zeolite will pocket the toxins and bring them out!  I know, She is truly amazing, especially when we forget She’s a Living Entity with many orders of magnitude more cleverness than we’ll ever dream of mustering!

Apophyllite (Potassium Calcium Fluoride Mica) is about Opening our Third Eye, appropriate for Getting to the Bottom of Things.  Green Apophyllite brings Compassion into our Intuition.  As we like to say, Apophyllite was used for Divining by the twelve Apophylls.  Natrolite (Sodium Aluminum Zeolite) is about Opening the Crown Chakra, appropriate for Letting Go of what Limits us.  Like much of the loveliest Apophyllite, this one comes from near Pune, India, a center for many different flavors of Spiritual pursuit.

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Friday the 13th falls on a Saturday this month, as Pogo used to say.  Whatever you’re Grieving, Trust that it was not planning to be part of the next phase of this Gaia-Pi Adventure.  We’re in the process now of Co-Creating what we need for the next phase.

June 13-14…

• Makemake (Manifestation) is Stationary Direct (Strong)
• Saturn backs into Scorpio (Did we leave any Emotional Stones unturned?)
• The Moon Occults Mercury (Beginner’s Mind) at 5 Gemini (“A revolutionary magazine asking for action”)

Mercury and the Balsamic Moon rise ahead of the Sun, so they should make a lovely couple just before Sunrise, whether you’re in the right spot (east central Asia) to see the Moon cover Mercury or not.  The Balsamic Moon is about Letting Go, echoing our other themes.

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Saturn points us to The Most Important Thing, and informs us that all of the other priorities will be just fine playing quietly by themselves while we put all of our Attention on The Most Important Thing.  Scorpio is about Getting to the Bottom of Things, so when…

The Most Important Thing Is Getting to the Bottom of Things,

we can – appropriately – be pretty obsessive.  Another useful key phrase about Scorpio, left over from the Recovery Movement in the 1980s (when Pluto was in Scorpio) is The Way Out Is Through.  Saturn has been in Sagittarius since Christmas 2014, and in Sagittarius The Way Out Is Letting Go.  So we’ve Lightened Up quite a bit since Christmas.  But there are still some bits of Egg clinging to the pan, so we need to go back and scrub a little more.

Till last Christmas, Saturn had been in Scorpio since October 2012 – in other words, The Most Important Thing has been Getting to the Bottom of Things since Time ended and Pi took over.  For the last two and a half years The Most Important Thing has been locating anything and everything that has stood between us and taking Full Responsibility for Everything in our Lives.  Though Pi gave us that first nine months of Grand Trines to ease our Rebirth into the New Era, of course that would feel like being poked with spears and knives by everyone and everything around us, as we were educated about where we weren’t taking Responsibility.

Soooo, what did we not quite finish up?  Responsibility means being able and willing to Respond.  It looks to improve the Future, not assign causality and Blame for anything from the Past.  Anyplace in your Life where you’re still feeling like a Victim, or where you want to Blame someone else for anything?  Those are the bits of Egg we need to work with; keep your eye out for them between now and mid-September, especially toward the end of July, as Saturn turns Direct on August 1.  After mid-September, we’re in the Let-It-Go Stage “for good” – well, for two and a half years anyway.

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The Station of Makemake in 29 Virgo (“A seeker after occult knowledge is reading an ancient scroll which illumines her mind”) suggests that…

We should be on the lookout for What We Need to Survive in this New Era.  We first experimented with meeting our new Next-Phase Tribe (Makemake in Libra) from mid-October 2013 to mid-March 2014.  Then last September we renewed this quest.  In mid-July we get serious about it.  In between – March-August of 2014 and mid-May through mid-July of this year, we review our own Blocks to receiving our new Community.  Virgo is about breaking down the Ego so we’re ready to meet Other without prejudice – without Judgment.  Ego is a force for good; it’s primary Mission is to keep us alive. The only problem with Ego is that it’s “sticky.”

Sure, Narcissism can feel like a pain if we’re stuck with having to deal with someone else’s Narcissism, but that’s just about our own unwillingness or inability to set working Boundaries.  Our own Narcissism?  Not to worry; it’s its own best frenemy. 

A caution for Virgo, though.  Since Ego-Recycling and Virgo are so poorly understood in Ego-dominated Western culture, Virgo ends up being seen as nit-picky and critical, and Virgo grows up with a programmed self-hate from introjecting this criticality.  So anyone with strong Virgo will likely worry about their own Narcissism.  But Virgo is the Opposite of Narcissistic.  What’s the Coin?  Self-Love.  Self-Transformation (Virgo) is about Self-Love, for sure.  Transformation isn’t about hating what’s being Transformed, it’s about Transcending what’s being Transformed.

A functioning Ego is flexible enough to Celebrate our own unique Skills fully – without having to compete them with the unique Skills of Others, and to Recognize when and where it would serve our Community better to delegate to the superior unique Skills of Another.  A “normal” Ego, more concerned with how many strokes we get, gets stuck on the last hurt or triumph, and loses track of the Present Moment.

This is what Virgo is about.  Pisces is about making a break from a Community that we’ve outgrown, with all of the Grief and unfulfilled Wishes and lack of Recognition and unexpressed Angers and Fear of Abandonment that’s involved in Letting Go of a Community without the assurance that we’ll be accepted into a new one.  Neptune and Chiron are working us through all that Drama and Trauma.  Virgo is about making a break from a sticky Ego that we’ve outgrown, with all of the Grief and unfulfilled Wishes and lack of Recognition and unexpressed Angers and Fear of Abandonment that’s involved in Letting Go of an Identity without the assurance that a new one will function any better than the old one.  Or, in a word, Ego Death.  Makemake is helping us through this wicket, and it’s an excellent Guide to have, as its focus is always on Co-Creating the new tools we’ll need to Survive in a new Era.

So as we go back into Getting to the Bottom of Things, we’re also back in Ego Death.  With Saturn, we’re just re-entering our last review period (ie, just tiptoeing back into Scorpio and hoping she doesn’t wake up).  With Makemake, we’ve already finished our review (ie, already backtracked into Virgo, and now we’re turning to exit for the final time), so we’re in better shape there.  Between now and mid-July we’ll be making the adjustments that will “fix” the Responsibility shortcomings that we’ve already encountered.

So while there may be a few Surprises awaiting us on the Emotional front, on the Ego front we’ve probably seen that last of them.  Is it any easier to step aside and Witness an Emotion that threatens to overwhelm us, than it is to step aside and Witness an Identity that’s sabotaging us?  You bet.  It’s when the Emotion and the Identity are intertwined, that the greatest difficulties arise.  And as we encounter the last few Emotions that Separate us from Joy and Light, we should already have some degree of Ego Detachment.

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Cuspal Saturn and Stationary Makemake are Sextile to one another, sharing the quality of Magnetism.

Sextiles connect two Signs that have either Magnetism or Dynamism in common, so on this basic level they aren’t competing with one another.  It’s the Sixth Harmonic, so the basic Energy is about Partnership – Win-Win. 

It’s a Waxing Sextile, several years into the Saturn-Makemake Cycle that began in September 2009 at 26 Virgo, “A boy with a censer serves the priest near the altar.”  In terms of current events, we could trip into a number of directions on that one, about boy-priest relationships or about “making things smell better.”

In our tradition of focusing on what’s being Healed, we’ll do just that, and propose that the current 33-year Saturn-Makemake Cycle is about Healing the lost art of Apprenticeship.  In pre-Industrial society, as children we “played” at learning the “work” our elders were doing, automatically learning Survival Skills in the process.  Since that link was broken by the various forms of Industrial Slavery (schools that removed children from parents so they could be propagandized into one paradigm, work that separated the workplace from the family so compassion could be removed from working conditions, etc), child-adult relationships have been strained and forced into unfamiliar forms.

A Saturn-Makemake Cycle would be about Building the Structures that Support Survival in the next Paradigm.  So we could see the current Cycle as Restructuring Apprenticeship to reintegrate Spirituality and Survival (“Work”) and Everyday Life.  Industrial and Religious Culture rigidly divided these into separate days of the week.  Remember that what we’re going here (2000-2020) in the Jupiter-Saturn Cycles is, on the Cultural level, deciding what parts of the Industrial Age we want to take with us into the Digital Age.  The Sextile represents Grace after we take the first step.  The Cultural level is assembled from accumulation of Personal levels.  So an appropriate question to ask ourselves might be…

Are there concrete steps I can take right now, to integrate my Spiritual Life with my Everyday Life and What I Do to Survive?  Have I already taken any steps like this?  Can I start to build them into Patterns that can become the infrastructure of Life in the Next Phase?

Judgment and Mirrors

A friend and regular reader writes,

When you say we need to relax our judgment of the characteristic of our True Self that we are rejecting when we encounter it in others, are you implying that this characteristic is potentially something positive?  I’m sure the answer is yes, but can’t make that work yet in this situation.  I have relaxed my judgment (of the other), can even feel compassion, and I’m sort of seeing how I might actually share that characteristic.  But I can’t see that it could be something positive or useful, to be honest.  So what do I do?  PIAVA understanding of how this characteristic is potentially positive/useful?

The Universe is a Mirror, but it’s a Funhouse Mirror.

For instance, I very clearly judge Greed.  Does that mean I’m Greedy?  It’s easy (especially if we’ve read Alan Watts’s The Wisdom of Insecurity, or haven’t) to imagine that we have all manner of devilish aims at heart, and there’s a good chance that in some sense we indeed do.  And it’s also easy to imagine that we aren’t devilish at all.  Of course, if we really are All One, then what does that tell us?  It suggests that we would profit from spending a good deal of time exploring how it feels in our body to be, for instance, Greedy.  Is there anything about that feeling that is not lovable?  That informs us – if we want to help Heal the Planet (=us) – that we have some work to do.  Love is not an intellectual exercise.

But let’s go back to our question, does that mean I’m Greedy?  If I compare myself to Diana Nyad’s brother, I’m incredibly greedy.  She refers to him as schizophrenic; I’d just consider him a Saint.  So much for our Judgment- and Competition-centered Culture.  But I’m probably more generous than a lot of people.  You know, though, I find that most people are very generous in their own way, many remarkably so.  I think we’ve discovered that comparing ourself to Others isn’t really very productive.  So is there some objective standard against which we can measure Greed?  That would help.  We can maybe ask a dozen people what behavior they would consider to be Greedy.  Do you suppose we’d get a dozen different answers?

The basic issue, is that I am not an adjective.

Breaking down our sentences is often a useful technique.  For instance, try

I am sad

in your body, and see how it feels.  then try

I feel sad

in your body, and see how that feels.  For me at least, I am adverb feels a lot worse than I feel adverb.  The former is kind of a dead end, while the latter has a kernel of hope in it.  It’s the same with adjectives.

I am Greedy

and

I can get Greedy at times, or at least Selfish

are pretty different when I try them on in my body too.  Blanket statements like the former have an implied always in them, and statements with always or never in them are never true, except this one.

Now, can I think up anything good about being Greedy?  Well, I can certainly imagine some not-so-negative synonyms for Greed.  Something like

I am able to Receive

might be an example.  That’s what I mean by a Funhouse Mirror; what’s reflected is your Judgment, not the object of your Judgment.  We aren’t seeing Greed, we’re seeing Judgment.  We’re seeing incomplete Self-Love.  Again, we recommend Eugene Gendlin’s great little book Let Your Body Interpret Your Dreams.  Gendlin’s talking about Dreams per se, but don’t forget that you have no way of knowing whether your “waking” Life isn’t someone’s Dream, probably your own.  The techniques in that book apply perfectly well to our “waking” hologram.

So what our friend is saying is that someone somewhere taught them to associate some term with the notion of unrepentably bad.  But it’s not the term that they need to explore, it’s the Judgment.  If they can identify who taught them that and in what circumstances, that might open them up to greater Self-Love, especially if they Tapped on it.  Or not; could be worth a try.

But our friend implies that someone they know has been attempting, and maybe succeeding, to be unrepentingly bad at their expense.  Which brings us to one of our most basic rules…

Safety First!

Our friend is reviewing their own circumstances and behaviors and potential “personality characteristics” (the adjectives they own or that other people want them to own), attempting to be constructively critical – a genuine desire to expand Consciousness and clean up any Karma that might be lingering in the wings.  But they’re doing that after they’ve gotten out of the “grasp” of whatever “evil” that Other was trying to perpetrate.

And that’s The Most Important Thing.  If our friend had been uncertain about their Reactions (some of which are Instincts) when they were in the unpleasant victim circumstance, they could have been hurt or worse, and it’s very unlikely that any Expansion of Consciousness would occur in that case.  In fact it would probably be quite the opposite, our friend could have been traumatized, which would have cemented their Limiting Beliefs and probably expanded their scope.

They waited till after they were Safe, and then they examined their behaviors and beliefs.

Which is the way it must be done, if we wish to move forward.

Mooning da Bomb

Desmene asks,

Thoughts on those with their natal Moon on 13 Aries?

Expect lots of wild and crazy Emotions.  I think of the Moon as having three levels of operation…

1. Supposedly or apparently “random” or “variable” Emotions, as distinct from Values – like when you’re cut off in traffic, sometimes you swear up a blue streak and sometimes you assume they must be in a hurry – probably in labor or something.
2. Intuition – Those “random” Emotions are actually Intuitions.  Fathoming their meaning is always an adventure.
3. Manifestation – the Moon rules over the process of manifesting Matter or Circumstances from Energy and random events.  See PIAVA for details.

In other words, there is tremendous Power at your disposal here, depending on your skill and training at putting it to work.  As they say, “Be careful what you ask for; you just might get it!” – it’s always a good idea to

PIAVA what you’ll feel like when your Desires are met

rather than

PIAVAing that your Desires be met.

Your Inner Sorceress is about to come to Life.  Well, actually, She probably already has, eh?

Unexploded Bomb

Dravite, or brown Tourmaline (Sodium Magnesium Aluminum Iron Borocyclosolicate) bolsters our Courage and helps us stand up for our Convictions, while keeping us grounded.

This whole March 25 Uranus-Juno Initiation with all of its many enhancements – including Icarus, the Jupiter-Pluto T-Square, and the Pallas-Saturn Mjolnir – focuses on Aries 13, “An unexploded bomb reveals an unsuccessful social protest.”  We should be grateful that it’s unexploded (there’s more than enough Disruption going on), and we should remember that when we’re approaching a difficult project like reorganizing a failed Culture, 35% is a very good success rate.

Remember we also have Neptune Initiating Mercury (March 22)…

Confusion ‘R’ Us

and Quaoar Stationary on the Galactic Center (March 27)…

Good chance some sort of Survival issues will arise.

in the same time frame.

But the Biggie is the Uranus-Juno Initiation.  How will that affect us as individuals?  If we have planets near 13 of Libra, Cancer, or Capricorn, we’ll certainly feel it more than most.  But the biggest impact will be on folks with planets near 13 Aries.  Such as…

Folks born in July 1929.  The unexploded bomb will sit on your Natal Uranus – you’re having what astrologers call a “Uranus Return,” when Uranus has made a compete loop of the Zodiac during your Lifetime.  Congratulations for making it this far!  Don’t let the idiots who can’t fathom your newfound Zest for Life feed you those downer drugs.  You’re off your chain for a good reason.

Folks born in May 1938, February-March 1968, or April 1997.  The unexploded bomb is on your Saturn.  If you’re Anxious or Terrified by what’s going down these days, Tap it out.  As Neil said, It’s only castles burning / find someone who’s turning / and you will come around.  Moment to moment, just keep focusing on The Most Important Thing, and let everything else take care of itself for now.  Everything will work out; even if the Changes are disruptive, they’re benign.

Folks born in April-May or September-November 1971, or February-March 1972.  The unexploded bomb is parked on your Chiron.  Don’t suppress those Wild ideas; this is a rebirth for you.  Let your Imagination take you anywhere and everywhere.  It’s a trial run for all of the exciting things you’re about to embark on.  Resistance is futile; give in to the Ecstasy!

Folks born between 1964 and 1973.  You guys are World-Changers, and you’ve been sitting on your tongue for waaay too long.  The unexploded bomb is on your Eris, and Eris can’t stand it when other folks are in Denial.  Climate Change, megacorporations and megalomaniacs and banksters hijacking government, Genetically Modified Organisms in the Food Chain, untested and unregulated poisonous chemicals everywhere, estrogen surrogates in all of the plastics, antibiotics and worse in the Rivers, the Oceans dying, Monsanto and Dow poisoning yet more of the Planet and now getting FDA approval to spray Agent Orange on your neighborhood farms – Agent Orange!!  Do they think we’ve forgotten Vietnam?  Bees – who pollinate our food – being poisoned by pesticides known to kill them en masse, fracking making Water wells flammable, Obama trying to start WWIII by rewriting history and acting like he owns the World (and there’s a good chance his propaganda machine has sucked you along), Tea Party Monkeys trying to give the rest of your money to the Elites while you chant their slogans – I mean, come on, when is Enough Enough?

Folks born in the last few days of March and the first few days of April of any year.  The unexploded bomb is on your Sun.  Expect major Life Changes soon.

Whatever you get up to, have fun with it – it’s the only productive thing you can do.

King Bolete

Look at this incredible “Toadstool” Configuration…

Not only is Icarus sitting on the budding Uranus-Juno Initiation, which we know is the focus of a T-Square with Pluto and Jupiter, but Juno-Uranus is also the focus of a Mjolnir!  Which means that each of the three Squares in the picture form the base of their own Mjolnir!  The Juno-Uranus Mjolnir has a base made up of Pallas and Saturn.  The “King Bolete” (Boletus edulis, aka Cep or Steinpilz), generally considered to be the most desirable Mushroom on the Planet, has a plump base like this Configuration does.

In other words, we’re about to get a download that’ll boot us out of our Masks like we were a slapstick cartoon character getting a good kick in the behind.

But lets break that first paragraph down to try to make it more accessible to folks who don’t speak astrologuese.  The links lead to more information.  You can also use the “index” at right to further explore a topic…

Icarus – An asteroid that may imply over-exuberance, and possibly danger to the Ego.

Uranus – A planet symbolizing the Individual Soul and our urge to express our True Self, which we often call our Yintegrity.  In traditional Western astrology Uranus means Disruption, but that’s because it Disrupts that which is false, and causes houses of cards to tumble.

Juno – An asteroid signifying the Edge between the Unconscious and Consciousness, and our Unconscious Identity.  Juno can reveal Archetypes,  gigantic impersonal and often Cultural complexes, that we’ve Merged with, and that essentially control us and make us believe we’re right when we’re out to lunch.  Patriotism is an Archetype, for instance, as is Fundamentalism of any sort.  Like those Tea-Partiers waving signs that say “Government get your hands off my Medicare” – even when they understand that Medicare is a government program, the Fundamental aspect of their Belief makes the knowledge irrelevant.  Fundamentalism means taking your metaphors literally.  Scientific Fundamentalism can be as destructive as Religious.

Initiation – When two planets/asteroids meet in the sky, they initiate a new Cycle.  The Juno-Uranus Cycle runs 4-5 years, and represents the interface between our Ego Consciousness and our True Self.  The Juno-Uranus Cycle being born is about an unexploded bomb.

If we put together what we have so far, we end up with…

A possibility of putting our foot into the mouth of the Masks we use to keep other people from seeing the parts of our True Self that we don’t Believe are Safe to express.  We may have been shamed by the significant adults in our childhood about those parts of ourself, or been put to death in a “past” Life because of them, for instance, or both.  (It’s usually Both/And.)   This Shift will last about a week, during which time we’ll see the beginning of processes that will run for several years and very much change who we believe ourselves to be.

T-Square – Two planets that Oppose one another, with a third halfway between them.  The T-Square in the picture above is the red triangle pointing upward, so named because they form a “T” when you draw lines that connect each of the three planets to the center of the circle.  We use red to signify Creative Tension or Motivation.  The Energy in a T-Square is focused upon the third planet, in this case Juno-Uranus.  A T-Square means Mastery through Challenge.

A prominent characteristic of T-Squares is that they never feel satisfying, because they aren’t a “problem that needs to be Solved” (which would make us feel successful); they’re an “open question that we’re compulsively Exploring” that doesn’t have any concrete answers – imagine being obsessed with “What’s the meaning of Life?”  Once we drop the expectation of Solution and learn to enjoy the Exploration, a T-Square no longer implies Frustration, and can be the Joy of our Life.  Since we obsess on the question, a T-Square is often the area of our greatest expertise, but while we remain in Frustration we don’t recognize our skill.

Pluto – A planet symbolizing Global Energy shifts, Transformations, Trance Reformations, and Changes that end up, by virtue of the difficulty of Resisting them, appearing to be Mandatory.

Jupiter – A planet representing Expansion or Amplification, and in general Good Fortune.

So this T-Square would imply that…

We are being Challenged to Express more and more of our True Self, and we’re finding it increasingly difficult to Resist and hold on to our Masks and False Selves.  This process runs from 2012 to 2015, so we’re well into it.  It reaches one of its crescendos in April.

Mjolnir – A Norwegian word meaning “Hammer of Thor,” equivalent to the Vajra or Dorje of South Asian traditions.  A Mjolnir occurs when two planets are separated by one fourth of the Zodiac, and a third planet is three-eighths of the Zodiac from each.  The Energy of a Mjolnir is focused on the third planet, so we name our Mjolnirs using the name of the third planet.  It signifies an irresistible force meeting a hard place.

While that can imply destruction, the most useful symbology for us is Lightning.  We usually interpret it as Epiphany, as Thor’s Hammer destroyed mountains in the sense of removing obstacles in his path.  Similarly, a Lightning Insight can destroy an Egoic house of cards.  As an Epiphany, we don’t usually object, though it may take us quite a bit of work to make our amends and reorganize our Life to align with our new Self.  From the perspective of other people who’ve become attached to our prior personality, such an Epiphany can be devastating.

So a Juno-Uranus Mjolnir implies…

The likelihood of Life-Changing Insights about the Masks we may not even realize we’re wearing.

Square – Two planets that are separated by one fourth of the Zodiac.  It’s called a Square because if you have four of them and draw lines between the four planets you’d make a square.  The long red line in the picture is an Opposition; the sort red lines are Squares.

Trioctile – The gold lines in the picture, connecting two planets that are three-eighths of the way ’round the Zodiac.  The Trioctile symbolizes Realignment and Bringing into Balance.  As with most Angles between planets, Realignment can mean disruption, as we have to release our attachment to that which is no longer in Balance (if it ever was).  If you were a coal company you’d be running scared these days, for instance.

Pallas – An asteroid meaning Boundaries and Edges.  The Serenity Prayer is a good example of Pallas Energy – Lord, please grant me the Power to Change that which I can, the Serenity to Accept that which I can’t, and the Wisdom to know the difference.

Saturn – A planet asking us to Pay Attention to The Most Important Thing and postpone our Attention to all other priorities.  If we’re attached to our lower priorities, Saturn can feel like Limitation, but it’s real meaning if Focus and Concentration.  It can mean Contraction if we’re over-extended.

So “The Juno-Uranus Mjolnir has a base made up of Pallas and Saturn” means…

One could make a good case for the notion that moving toward being and expressing our True Self may be The Most Important Thing in our Lives.  We set up our Masks in order to make a Safe Space for us to do the best we can in the circumstances we found ourself in.  So we can expect major Insights into Realignment of our Boundaries, and Changes in our understanding of what’s The Most Important Thing, that facilitate our embodying our True Self.

And “each of the three Squares in the picture form the base of their own Mjolnir,” aka the other two arrowheads in the picture, are a Pallas Mjolnir based on the Uranus-Pluto Square and a Saturn Mjolnir based on the Jupiter-Uranus Square

The Pallas Mjolnir means that…

We’ve been rejecting parts of our True Self that we left behind before we even learned that we had a choice.  We’re likely to encounter circumstances where we’re forced to bring those parts up into Consciousness.  If you keep finding yourself in situations where you’re Judging other people, those are likely to be the Self-Censorship that you’ve been Unconscious about.

The Saturn Mjolnir – will imply…

While Pallas often implies that we need to tighten our Boundaries in certain circumstances, here we’re being asked to Expand our Edges instead.  When we Judge someone, we can Stretch our concepts of what’s okay, or we can Tighten the distinction that separates us from them.  Here the more likely preference is to Stretch.  In fact, it could even be The Most Important Thing we need to do.  In order to accept some rejected characteristic of our True Self, the first thing we need to do is relax our Judgment of others who portray that characteristic.

This Toadstool Configuration is long-lasting, though Saturn’s role in it is weakening.  It’s worth noting that this chart rules the birth of Northern Spring and Southern Autumn, implying that its impact will linger for at least three months.

Now you can maybe see why we also want to include the astrologuese – if you know any astrologuese, we can communicate to you in one paragraph what otherwise requires more than twenty paragraphs of mind-numbing detail.  We aren’t asking you to learn astrology if you have no interest, but we do suggest that if you pay a little more attention than you otherwise would while reading about astrology, and occasionally check the links and index when inspired, you’ll gradually absorb enough to amplify the amount of information you receive from a given quantity of reading.

Energies

Venus dancing across the face of the Sun, June 2012

There are many levels to astrology.  Back when there used to be newspapers, your daily horoscope would focus on what Sign your Natal (Birth) Sun was in.  Mainstream astrology that goes into more depth focuses on more planets, and what Signs they’re all in.  If you want to look at the likely impact on your Material Life, you’d want to look at the Houses.

And finally, there’s what normal astrology calls the “Aspects” and I call the Angles – the Angles between planets, and the Harmonics they create.  Those Angles combine into Configurations.  I focus on these Angles and Configurations, because that’s where the Energy resides, and Energy is closer to Spirit than is Matter.

I don’t mean to discount all of the other approaches to astrology, and there are many!  We can look at what the planets are up to in the Sky now (which is what this blog does), or what the planets were up to when you were born (which we can do if you like), or we can look at your “Transits,” or the impact the planets in the Sky now are having on your birth planets (which we can also do if you like).

Certain planets “Rule” certain Signs, so when planet A is in Sign B, some astrologers focus more on the Ruling Sign C than they do on Sign B or planet A.  One friend feels that the Most Important Planet in what’s going on in the Sky now is Venus, because it in one way or another Rules most of the other strong actors in the current drama.  If we have time we’ll try to factor in their insightful perspective.  In India they use the 28 arcs that the Moon travels in one day, rather than the 12 Signs that the Sun travels in one month.  I don’t even know what they do in China, other than it has something to do with Monkeys and Tin!

My point is that all of these other approaches to astrology are complements to the sort of astrology I do, not competitors.  Each approach contributes unique information, and when they seem to contradict, as they often do, you by now should know that you need to stop trying to differentiate heads from tails, and start asking about the coin.  It’s a lot more important to know whether it’s a shilling or a doubloon than to know whether it’s heads or tails.

We also spend a lot more time on the outer planets than we do on the inner planets, because the outer planets hint at what’s going on in the Unconscious, which we believe has for almost all of us a lot more control over our lives than Consciousness.  And again, astrologers who focus on the inner planets contribute complementary information.

I particularly like Kelley Hunter’s approach to astrology, because she has a good knowledge of various mythologies (which access the Unconscious) that she uses when she looks at the planets and Signs.  Her latest Full-Moon contribution is at

http://heliastar.com/cosmic-news/resonant-radiant-full-moon/

There she has a lot to say about Virgo and Pisces, and the current phalanx of Retrogrades, and links to a couple of fabulous Nassim Haramein videos on his mathematical proof that we’re AllOne.  Kelley also brings in Australian Malvin Artley’s insights into the Retrogrades.  Here’s a sample…

“What is the best way forward?  Well, if we don’t know now, then we will soon have to make a choice, because the other planets involved in the great cross—Jupiter, Uranus and Pluto—will either hand us an ultimatum, in a way of speaking, or show us a way forward if we can seize the opportunity.  The point is, we always have a choice as to how we handle things.  If we choose to focus on the negative, then we will get the ultimatum.  If we choose to act according to the best and highest within us, then we will be shown a doorway into a better future…”

It continues.  On Malvin’s website he even has a section on Chinese astrology.

Discernment II

Wavellite (Aluminum Phosphate Fluoride) is the quintessential Crystal to facilitate Discernment.  It Mirrors Virgo, and Jack and Collen tell us that even more, it helps folks without Virgo in their horoscope find the Discernment they might otherwise lack.

Another reader writes,

“I can’t see how stage 3 in discernment could be in operation unless all parties are ‘there.’  At work I’m forced to engage in behaviors – ways of operating/functioning that are so against my way of being that it’s taking a real toll on my health.  I am trying to adjust, to let a lot go.  It works.  It doesn’t work.  The thing that works best is to be at level 2 discernment.  Though, significantly, there are behaviors attempted to be imposed around the rejected minorities I take care of professionally, which I have said outright, ‘NO, I WILL NOT PARTICIPATE!’

“Really, I guess my true aspiration is to find level 3 people.  But for the majority of people in my daily life I aspire to remain at level 2.  BUT that keeps me wearing a mask because I cannot not be engaged with them to some extent, because I work there (or because they’re family).  It’s exhausting.  The only time I’m not exhausted is when I’m alone, in yoga class, training in the gym, or getting a massage.

“With the people I pay – yoga, gym, massage – we have fascinating ‘big-picture’ conversations and personal two-way street support conversations.  Maybe the nature of a paying contact – so boundaries stay healthy.  They actually check in with me, correspond personally in email outside of the paying contexts, checking in and offering support actually friendly and two-way, as I know what’s going on with them to a similar extent.  It’s nice.  And they are people I actually tell things to because 1) they ask, and 2) they give me interesting food for thought.  Makes a difference.”

Yes, “walking the Spiritual path with practical feet,” as Angie puts it.  So there’s work for The Man, and then there’s Community.  Isn’t that what the Industrial Revolutions brought to us, this separation of Work from Life.  When we focus on the Material, the Industrial Revolutions transformed our Lives.  We no longer have to go outside to krap in mid-winter.  Hot running Water is an incredible Blessing, as is refrigeration and a smoke-free stove.

If we don’t spend at least twenty minutes every day in deep Gratitude for hot running Water, we are in danger of losing the Blessing. 

The frail among our Elders used to walk off into the Snow in late winter (or the desert in late summer), in order to help make sure that there was enough food left for the rest of us to make it till the Plants grew again.  Now, instead, in compensation for our own history, we make futile New Years Resolutions to lose the flab from glutting ourselves over the Holidays.  They used to be Holydays, for expressing our Gratitude and PIAVAs to make it till the Growing Season without losing the people and the Rain and the Commons that we depend on for our Survival.

When we focus on the Spiritual, or Community, the Industrial Revolutions transformed our lives for the worse.  It’s not a stretch to say they destroyed Community.  And the Materialism they produced tore – and continues to tear – a huge hole in our connection to Spirit.  How much of our day do we dedicate to Gratitude to Mother Nature for the Blessings She showers upon us.

It’s not a stretch to say that we’re in danger of losing these Blessings either, as we accelerate the pollution of our Waters and Food supply with more chemicals and GMOs.  As with Criticism, there is a place where we have to Stop and back out, where we have to say “NO, I CAN NOT PARTICIPATE!”

And then there’s the mortgage.  And the banksters calling weekly to tempt us into a little more debt slavery in exchange for the promise of a little more Materialism.

In The Spirit of Intimacy: Ancient African Teachings in the Ways of Relationships, Sobonfu Somé gives us a good understanding of how much time and work it takes to maintain a level 3 Community.  If level 2 destroys our health, we may at some point have to choose between devoting our Energies to a mortgage, or to Community.  The Tiny House movement is an example of returning to Community.  Ceres is dancing with the North Node, implying that to Sustain our Mission, we may need to Surrender that which is not necessary or no longer relevant.

We need to pay attention to

“The only time I’m not exhausted is when I’m alone.”

That’s the mantra of an Introvert.  No one is purely Introverted or Extroverted, but most of us favor one or the other.  Introverts are in the minority, and all grade-school teachers are Extroverts (or they wouldn’t be teachers!), so we learned early on that the Culture at large considers Introversion to be a disease.  It’s remarkable that the APA hasn’t commissioned a drug to “cure” it (besides Coffee).  A quick test to tell where your own I/E balance-point is…

When it’s depleted, if you restore your Energy by being alone, you’re more of an Introvert.  If you restore your Energy by being with other people, you’re more of an Extrovert.  It’s not Either/Or; everyone has some of each.

And then there’s Both/And.  When I was attempting to PIAVA Relationship long ago, I discovered that I could easily manifest – and had manifested, so I knew it was possible – Freedom and Relationship, and I could create Security and Relationship, and I could manifest Excitement and Relationship, but there was no way I could create Freedom and Security and Excitement and Relationship.  Since that’s what I aspired to, it was clear that I had to learn how to do Both/And.

Our reader appears to appreciate level-3 Discernment when they find it, but believes that for work and family, level 2 appears to be the best compromise available.  There’s no problem with that – it’s not like level 3 is some sort of Holy Grail.  Many of us feel lucky to be at level 2, and most of us still spend a good deal of time at level 1 – with the Smaug-like Lizards and their Republican wannabes and collaborators, for instance, or with the 47% of us lazy freeloaders who want a free ride on the beneficence of the elite.  But our reader says their level-2 relationships are impacting their health.

I can’t say that our reader is afflicted with Unconscious Despair here, but there is the ring of Chiron in their message.  Unconscious Despair occurs when we don’t have any reason to believe that there is a practical solution to a dilemma.  Our reader may have never seen any evidence to support a belief that it is possible to manifest both Abundance and Community at the same time, especially if they’re a member of a rejected minority – an Introvert, for instance.

So then, how can we manifest Both/And, when we know we can create Both, but only each separately.

When I was discovering Both/And, I was using Asking a lot – that’s one of the A’s in PIAVA.  I was writing my Requests, so I would write things like Great Spirit, may I please have Abundance and Community, and write them over and over again until I could write the whole sentence quickly and smoothly, without any misformed letters or any trace of jerkiness in my writing.

As I wrote, I let the Request shift and change to whatever was moving into my Attention.  It might come out My material and social needs met one time, and A safe space and reliable Friends the next time, though the changes were usually more gradual.  Once I could write the sentence smoothly, I went about my day.  I would do these writing sessions several times a day, for whatever time I had free, or however long it took to get smooth.  Then, by Changing the Subject and Paying Attention, I soon realized that a powerful Asking invokes Fear.

What if I have to lose the Abundance I have in order to learn to create what I want!  What if I have to give up the Friends I do have, in order to create more Community!  

So it didn’t take long to add …lovingly and gently or …and a loving and gentle transition to the end of each Asking.  And realizing that the Unconscious has a different concept of time than the Ego, …rapidly and completely soon followed.  Some Requests got quite long!  It wouldn’t even hurt to add Gendlin’s …or something like that, to help make sure the intellect and current Consciousness weren’t maintaining control and extending the status quo.

We see a lot of people being forced into poverty against their will, no matter what level of Discernment they’re willing to practice, so Fear that Change means Scarcity is appropriate.  As I’ve been working with my own Chiron Transits over the last couple of years, I’ve spent a good deal of Energy addressing my Fear of Change by Asking for a loving and gentle transition rather than an abrupt and risky sudden Change.  As a result, I’m finding myself, in several ways, wasting less Energy on Resistance.

Chiron holds our nose to the fire – he doesn’t let up when he’s Asking us to let go of negative Beliefs and Unconscious Despair.  He values his Miracles, and doesn’t want us to fail to appreciate them.

So in one way or another, when a persistent hassle grips us, we do need to PIAVA a Reframe.

Remember that Chiron is nonlinear, nondual, and nonintellectual; we can’t think our way to a Reframe.  One way or another we have to reach into the Unconscious and pull out the wrench we need.  You can trust that the exact tool you need is there on the workbench, just where you can’t see it directly.  Chiron doesn’t leave us stranded, he just likes riddles.

Seth told us long ago that our personal history is a perfect Mirror for our unfinished business, and likewise, our current unsolvable dilemmas are the Mirror for the Energy that’s forcing it’s way into our Consciousness.  It’s a Funhouse Mirror, not literal or intellectual.  That Energy will continue to slap us around until we find a way to let it in, and it will get more and more insistent. 

With the Uranus-Pluto-Jupiter T-Square, the impetus, or rather, the Demand, to move toward Yintegrity is strong, and with Mars moving into place to complete the Grand Cross, it’s getting stronger.  And the Chiron Mjolnir isn’t about to give us much respite from the pressure either.  Some people – those who haven’t converted to positive astrology yet – see a Mjolnir not as Lightning and Epiphany, but as being caught between an irresistible force and a hard place.  The two footings of the Mjolnir are Lilith (Yindependence – unwillingness to tolerate being controlled by others) and Ceres-North Node (Sustaining our Deepest Aspirations).

In the first few minutes of this segment of Lilou’s Juicy Living Tour, Neale provides some powerful insight into all these questions…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rmvIHzUPNF8

Neale knows a bit about Abundance and poverty, transitions, and PIAVA.

And Discernment

Here’s another view, from Eugenia Oganova’s Awakening the Harmony Within (pp.85-86)…

“All information is neutral.  People are in different stages of development and it makes sense that what one person is already ready for, the other is not.  So, it is we who make the information ‘good’ or ‘bad’ based on what we experience in relationship to receiving it, examining it, and perhaps even following it.  Even something that is a misinformation can still be of benefit to someone during a particular step on their journey.”

“There is no right or wrong perception here, but if you try on these beliefs, you will feel one way from [one], and the other way from [the other].  This is why it is so important to only take in, fully, what benefits you as a being.  When you wholly resonate with something, it changes you, and it is your responsibility to be changed in the direction that benefits your essence, not your karma.  When we do something out of fear, which means we resonate with our karma, or social beliefs, we take in something that supports these instead of our essence.

“When one practices discernment, one feels the path.  There is an inner knowing that everything is unfolding perfectly (even if it is hard!) and it frees a person to honor and love the choices of others, and cleans up judgment.

“There are three stages of progress in the development of such discernment:

“1. When we do not resonate with some information, or people, we judge them as wrong, because we believe ourselves to be right, or we doubt ourselves instead;

“2. When we do not resonate with information, or people, we choose to not judge and not interact – it is a way of keeping your personal space resonating your own way, while others are resonating their way in their own space (instead of judging a TV show, don’t watch it; instead of judging a person, do not talk to them);

“3. When we do not resonate with information, or people, and we know that they are following their own path and we follow ours, we can co-exist without being triggered.  We recognize and accept the differences and choose to exist in harmony, knowing that we all play unique roles, all learning in accordance with a much larger ‘perfect’ plan.”

Though I much like my friend’s way of putting it – “those who are on early retirement from evolution” – it feels that way at times!  Kind of stage 1, I guess.  But humor is permitted.  Then there’s Ronald van den Hoff’s perspective, in Mastering the Global Transition on Our Way to Society 3.0 (p.55)…

“In the previous century, you were a part of a group and a part of its sectional interests.  It was not always pleasant, or a place in which you could get something off your mind, but there was a basic principle, a framework, and therefore, there was a reference.  The paradigm was clear.  We know many groups.

“You belonged to a certain religion or philosophy of life.  The social network this was a part of determined where you lived, where you went to school, where you played sports, where you went to church, which broadcasting corporation you watched, which newspapers you read, which political parties you were expected to adhere to, where you went to work, do you shopping, and even whom you married.

“In the 1960s, we started to remove these traditional religious and socio-political barriers.  Our increasing prosperity gave us the emancipated consumer on one hand, and the start of a search for a new identity on the other.  ‘Who am I?’ and ‘What do I want from this life?’ were the questions that presented themselves more strongly than before.

“Recently, these questions have been supplemented with concerns for the future of our society, because it has become quite clear that politicians, the government, and the business community, as systems, are not the omniscient and reliable partners we had hoped for, even though we are connected to these systems in one way or another.”

So yes, from the perspective of the Higher Self, those are affairs of the Ego, aren’t they.  We come up against the Edge between Detachment and Compassion; sure, those millions of unemployed and increasingly unemployable folks are following their own path.  Everyone is, whether we or they are Conscious of it or not.  Even devolution is a unique role.  Is our role to Criticize the status quo, or to co-exist in harmony with the Lizards?

Yintegrity, Yindependence, Denial, and Noticing

This isn’t the best specimen of Benitoite (Barium Titanium Silicate), but that’s the point.  Noticing is very subtle.

So, how would we deal with these issues, since the programming is likely to be very deep.  Some of our programming comes from pre-verbal ages, and it’s extremely difficult to address that intellectually.  For instance, if our Mum or other important caretaker was disgusted by Poo, we could end up not understanding why we feel like no one seems to like us.  Or if the fishwinner in our family of origin was anxious about how to fund yet another kidderoo.

This isn’t a medium to handle non-intellectual approaches, but I recommend Eugene Gendlin’s Let Your Body Interpret Your Dreams as an excellent primer on how to easily loosen the mind’s grip on Duality.  Of course his classic Focusing wouldn’t hurt either.  Developing a Both/And practice would be good.  And you might consider Stan Grof’s When the Impossible Happens as another starting place.

Leo, Libra, Pisces, and Virgo

With all the action in Pisces this time of year – and especially with Chiron and Neptune touring Pisces – whatever planets, lights, angles, asteroids, and other hot spots we have in Virgo will be triggered.  This culture has no space for Virgo, so whatever we have in Virgo will be tainted with at best internalized Rejection, and at worst Self-Hate.  As Pi reminds us again and again that under her watchful eye we can no longer avoid taking Responsibility for our self-sabotaging habits, we’re asked to Clear away this detritus of Western Culture.

Virgo is the Bridge from Leo-Ego to Libra-Other.  Like all Signs, Leo has it’s “good” and “bad” sides.  When you go to a play or a rock concert or a lecture (where there are few on stage soliciting Attention from many in the audience) and leave feeling exhilarated, you’ve experienced Leo’s good side, where the “star” is conjuring up communicable good vibes and sharing; when you leave feeling drained, you’ve experienced Leo’s not-so-good side, where the “star” is harvesting your Energy.

If you’ve ever experienced a situation where everyone is treated equally, everyone expresses their opinions and feelings while everyone else listens and acknowledges, and the only person who’s different is a facilitator, not a leader, you’ve experienced Libra.  The only example I can think of is a well-facilitated AA meeting.  Some teams, like Pete Carroll’s Stuporbowl team, or a symphony, where everyone expresses their talent and everyone else makes space for it, also work that way, though there’s usually a Leonine leader involved.

I hope that helps you appreciate Virgo’s “problem” – how to get from Leo to Libra.  In other cultures it’s not a problem.  In Hinduism for instance, Shiva the “Destroyer” (Recycler, Deconstructor) represents a full third of the Godhead, or a third of the Action in the Universe.  Western Culture’s institutionalized aversion to Ego Death is a whole ‘nother story.  In classical Western Astrology, Virgo is “Critical” and “Detail-Oriented” – that’s as close as they can get without broaching Ego Death.  And yes, when we internalize Criticism, it’s an Ego Death.

Ego Death is great – without it there is no Growth in Consciousness – but it feels worse than just about anything else we can imagine.  Western Culture, which trains us to Identify with the Body and mind rather than Spirit or Energy, equates Ego Death to physical Death.  Alzheimers is a testament to how Western Culture equates Ego Death to intellectual Death.  Its growing epidemic is an example of Pi’s mandate that we take Responsibility for our Self.

Denial

Denial, meanwhile, is tricky.  As Gendlin tells us, it like Dreams is not black and white.  When someone Criticizes us and it hurts, or when we misinterpret their body language or words and believe they’re Criticizing us, what is it we’re “Denying”?  We’re Denying Pi’s mandate to take Responsibility for our own Emotions.  If we were Neutral, we would step outside of our Behaviors, consider the Criticism objectively, and decide whether it was useful for us or not.  We might even have to convene a meeting of our Community, and ask whether a majority of our peers felt that way, in which case we might want to adopt a new Behavior in order to please our Community.

Or, if the Criticized Behavior is part of our True Self, change Communities.  But that’s seldom the case, because Behaviors are to Self as Color is to a Chameleon.  Behaviors are like the clothes we wear, they aren’t “Us,” so changing them shouldn’t normally be objectionable.  Nevertheless, we might decide that the Community is not open-minded enough to tolerate Behaviors which are benign, and their prejudice might encourage us to seek a better match.

Notice that it’s never about Abandoning a Behavior – all Behaviors are useful in some circumstances.  It may be about breaking a habitual Behavior, or learning a new one.  It’s when we Unconsciously and habitually use the same Behavior for every circumstance, whether it’s relevant and useful or not, that we get in trouble.  Then we need to become Conscious of the Habit, and learn new ways of responding to circumstances and feelings.

Otherwise, we’re just dealing with oversensitivity to Criticism.  If Criticism makes us “feel bad,” then we need to start Tapping.  We’d probably start with something like “Even though this Criticism makes me feel bad, I deeply and completely Love and Accept myself” or the like, then follow wherever that leads.

But that’s just a start.  When we’re moving into Dropping our Masks and Allowing our True Self to come through in its own unpredictable and inimical way, and claiming our Power, when we’re allowing Yindependence and Yintegrity – both of which by their very nature are Revolutionary, which is to say, not acceptable to the Olde Culture – we’re working in a whole ‘nother realm.  Rules change in the Reaches, as Ursula likes to say.  Which makes our Neutrality all the more important, or we’ll burn out or burn up quickly.

We have to recognize that some Behaviors can evoke violent reactions from the defenders of the Olde Guard, and be willing to “lose (many) battles in order to stay alive to win the war” – remember the part about a baseball player going to the Hall of Fame for getting on base thirty percent of the time.  Some Behaviors, even if they represent your True Self, can be equivalent to sitting in the front of the bus when you’re black, or being openly Gay in an egregiously anti-Gay gathering.  If you attempt them without Support, they can get you dead, physically.  Or worse.

Changing the Subject and Paying Attention

So where do we start.  First we make a Decision – to bring our Response to Criticism into Consciousness so we can work with it.  We could do the same with Both/And, Deciding to bring every Either/Or situation into Consciousness for review.  Decisions aren’t actually worth a lot, since they barely scratch the Unconscious, but it’s the place to start.  It at least will bring our Consciousness to the right place.

Then we move to PIAVA.  PIAVA has the potential to penetrate deeply into the Unconscious.  And as usual, the important piece is in Changing the Subject and Paying Attention.

For instance, if we succeed in Changing the Subject and Paying Attention, guess what we’re going to catch ourself doing!  We’re going to catch ourself

Criticizing ourself for reacting to Criticism. 

Okay, we’ve reached the real “Funhouse Mirror.”  That’s the Spiritual function of Hardcopy Reality (aka Matter) – to reflect back to us what we haven’t brought into Consciousness yet.  Of course if we’re reacting to other people Criticizing us, it’s a Mirror for Criticizing ourself!  That’s such a reliable process that we can actually start with

Oh, I’m criticizing someone!  What am I doing that this Mirrors?

This is the deeper nature of Denial; it’s not Linear or Binary; it’s a Funhouse Mirror.  It will take you there, but not through Duality.  It’s very seldom what you think it is, or its opposite; it’s usually something related.  Gendlin’s book explores this fabulously.  When we Criticize someone for Criticizing us, then we’re really chasing our own tail and in danger of turning into Butter.

Criticism is a vicious circle; the more we Criticize ourself or others, the more Critical we get and the more Criticized we get.  This is how we destroy Confidence.  Destroying Confidence is part of Virgo’s Leo-to-Libra task, but it doesn’t have to be done negatively.

If you’re thinking, What do you mean it doesn’t have to be negative – it’s Destruction, isn’t it!?! then you’re stuck in the Western Mind – go back to “Changing the Subject and Paying Attention,” do not collect $200, and start over.

All we need to do, is convert it to a virtuous circle, and we do that by Paying Attention.

As soon as we Notice ourself Slipping into Criticizing anyone for anything, ourself especially, we need to Congratulate ourself for Noticing, rather than Criticizing ourself for Slipping.

Doesn’t matter how many times you Slip, or how deeply you’ve Slipped into Criticism, Stop, and back out.  You might be yelling at someone about what’s wrong with them, or they might be yelling at you about what’s wrong with you, or you might be suicidal over your phenomenally monumental inadequacy – doesn’t matter.  Stop.  And Congratulate yourself for Noticing.  If you’re yelling at someone, just Stop, and calmly apologize – Oh, Sorry, I was possessed by a Demon, I didn’t mean any of that!  If someone else is yelling at you, walk away or hang up the phone; you really don’t need that kind of krap and you don’t need that kind of Community.  You may not even need that kind of parent or sibling.  If you’re suicidal, just put the pills back in the cabinet and move on.

Your PIAVA is to just keep Noticing.  The more you Notice and Act on it, the easier it gets, and the sooner you Notice.  The sooner you Notice, the easier it is to Act on it.  And the more you Act on it, the easier it is to Notice.  Easy, actually, you just have to start Noticing.

Damage to the tip of the Crystal, but this one shows more of the color that California’s State Gem is famous for.

Yintegrity, Yindependence, and Denial

A reader asks,

“When I try to be my True Self, I feel like I’m being blackballed, ostracized, rejected, badmouthed, threatened, resented, mocked, and envied by the people in my town.  I feel like I’m being someone I’m not, trying too hard, and an outright disaster!

“When I try to own my Feminine Power, I feel like people see me as man-hating, a feminist lesbian. an uptight frigid old maid, a ho’, a skank, and a slut!

“Except for younger people hereabouts who get what I`m into, embrace it and want to hear more, I can’t find my tribe.  How do we recognize the Most Important Thing that we’ve been denying about ourself?”

Yep, you got that right!  We didn’t pick up our Masks and adopt our Powerlessness because we though it’d be fun to be in the second-grade class play or because we thought turning the other cheek would be a good idea.  We put on our Masks and put our Power in the closet because the significant adults in our young lives forced us to do so, under threat of punishment.  I think you’ve just described the kinds of punishment you were threatened with as a child.  I know, it’s hard.  Easy to say, hard to do.

Hanging out with those younger people, the ones who came in on a different flight, probably are your Tribe.  You were just an advance scout.