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On a long-term project that I’m working on with several other people, I’ve been having to argue in favor of an unpopular position. Always makes me feel disgruntled when that happens. It feels good to get along. My position is solidly based in half a century of professional Wisdom. But the others would rather take a course that they think will look better. Earlier today I had to choose, one way or another, my way or their way. It was uncomfortable to have to choose, and I was a little short on sleep, so I napitated on it – sort of a cross between napping and meditating.
When I was done napitating, I felt clear. It wasn’t that important. Yes, my position was definitely better, but the issue wasn’t that big a deal. It was a choice I’d made over the years, and a choice I still defend as the best course, but it just wasn’t a life-or-death issue. At least not in all but a very small percentage of situations. So I committed to doing it their way. I noticed when I went back to work on the project though that I felt less ownership and less enthusiasm. I was proud of it the other way; when I did it their way, it was just okay. But then, it was like the carvings on top of the Medieval cathedrals, that no one but the Gods, the Birds, and the Witches would ever see. Not worth the stress.
Earlier, I’d mapped out what the Moon was doing this week, relative to my natal chart, just to kind of take inventory, and get to know better the new dwarf planets and Centaurs, and how they work in my own chart. So after working for several hours converting the project to their way, it occurred to me to look at my Moon chart and see what was up.
Well, the Moon was on my natal Uranus. Ominous.
Uranus dominates the next several months, as it Initiates the South Node (which likely means that any uncleared Held Emotions may well become Disruptive) and Squares Pluto (which likely means that embracing those Emotions won’t be optional). Uranus symbolizes Yintegrity, Self-Trust. And here I am Abandoning myself as the Moon lights up Uranus, ranking my Value of Getting Along more highly than my Value of Trusting Myself. And witnessing some Self-Hate as a result.
What a Karmic Pattern to Witness – Hating my own Creativity. This is by no means a new discovery, as I’ve always encountered this kind of Rejection, but it’s a new way of looking at it, a different way of Feeling it. It’s discouraging (the Moon has moved over my Chiron). I don’t have any choice, except to be Loving and Gentle with my Self-Hate. Time for more napitating, and sitting my Self-Hate down in one chair and my Creativity in another, and working out some kind of Win-Win.
Clearly my Self-Hate’s “positive function” is to Get Along. I’ve always just withdrawn and reminded myself not to “throw my Pearls before Swine.” Are there better ways I can Get Along and still Live my Yintegrity? That’s a very active conversation; at this point it’s mostly “Yes Buts” rather than “How can I helps” – work still to be done. Fear of Isolation arises. I used to have a Frank & Earnest cartoon showing one one of them sitting with his feet on the blotter that would have covered a desk, but which now sat on the ground. He’s saying “I stepped back to get some perspective, and now I’m out of the picture altogether.” I always thought it was funny first, then after a while, ominous.
The Big Events of January are…
- The Full Moon Opposes Pluto, and Squares Uranus and the Nodes, January 3-5
- Eris is Stationary Direct on January 9
- The Moon crosses the Nodes and Squares Pluto on January 12
- Haumea is Stationary Retrograde and Pluto Squares the Nodes at the New Moon on January 20, while the Moon crosses Pluto and Squares Uranus on January 19, and Mercury turns Retrograde on January 21
- The Moon Occults Uranus and Squares Pluto on January 25
- Uranus Initiates the South Node on January 31, as the Moon makes a Grand Cross with Pluto and the Nodes, and a Diamond Star with Pallas and the Sun, while Chiron Initiates Mars and Sedna is Stationary and turning Direct – this is a Big One
We need to include the Moon’s Uranus-Pluto adventures because Uranus-Pluto-Nodes is well within Sensitivity (within two degrees as we speak). And we clearly need to look more closely at this upcoming Full Moon!
The Full Moon-Uranus-Pluto-Nodes Portal opens early on January 2, and closes early on January 6.
Here’s the timeline…
- Sun Squares Uranus at half-past 12am PST (http://www.jbuss.com/tt/pst0.htm) on January 3
- Sun crosses Pluto at half-past 3pm PST (http://www.jbuss.com/tt/pst15.htm) on January 3
- Full Moon at 9pm PST (http://www.jbuss.com/tt/pst21.htm) on January 4
- Moon Squares Uranus and the Nodes and Opposes Pluto from 5pm to 9pm PST (http://www.jbuss.com/tt/pst17.htm to http://www.jbuss.com/tt/pst21.htm) January 4 (add two to six hours on either side of that span for Sensitivity)
- Sun Squares the Nodes at 1am PST (http://www.jbuss.com/tt/pst1.htm) January 5
We need at least a day on either side of the whole span for Sensitivity. What means it all?
Our adventures with our Karmic Patterns are just beginning; expect them to get very intense over the next four or five days. This means that whenever you Feel recurring or strong Emotions,
It’s critically important to play Witness to these Emotions rather than getting lost in their supposed content, and to be Loving and Gentle with all parties involved – your current-moment Feeler, your Witness, and your Historical Self. While we’ve singled out recurring and strong Emotions, Karmic Emotions can also be very subtle and well rationalized.
You saw how my Self-Rejection was very carefully entombed by making light of it intellectually – “Oh, it wasn’t very important in the grand scheme of things.” That may have been true of the intellectual content of the scenario that I was projecting my Self-Abandonment on (and it may not have been true – this is how Intuition often arrives!). But my Self-Abandonment itself is critically important in the grand scheme of things! It’s part of my Mission in the Lifetime. Your Patterns will be different, but just as important!
And by the way, let yourself sleep (or not) crazy hours this month. When Uranus is lit up we often need less sleep (or a lot more!). If you aren’t sleepy, get up and do something Creative. And if you get sleepy at an inconvenient time, excuse yourself and take a nap. You may well do surprisingly well on only a few short naps. Have Fun with the extra time. Above all, don’t lay in bed fretting about not being able to get enough sleep, and don’t eschew napping when you need it. And if you want to sleep twelve hours a day, do it if you can, you just need the extra Dream time.