The Most Important Thing

By now you should be very clear about what for you really is The Most Important Thing (Saturn Stationary 23 May 2021, 2:18 am PDT, 14 Aquarius) and what you’ve been Choosing Not To Do, or very much Wishing you “could” Choose Not To Do. Or what you’ve been Choosing Not To Feel, or very much Wishing you could. Or whom you’ve been Choosing Not To Be, or very much Wishing you could! I know what I meant, but I’m not sure I’d be able to decrypt that sentence, let alone expect youalls to, so I better spell it out…

I’m guessing you spent most of last week doing one of two things…

💥 Doing What You Love, while Fearing That What You Weren’t Doing But Were “Supposed To” will come back to haunt you.

…OR…

💥 Doing What You Were Supposed To Do, while Ruing That You Were Unwilling To Give Yourself Permission to Do What You Love.

And I hope, for you, that you were Doing What You Love. You can recast those two sentences around Feeling What You Love To Feel, and around Being Who You Want To Be. You can probably think of many more ways to recast them.

This is how Saturn works. Remember that the Saturnalia in ancient Rome was the Italian equivalent of Germany’s Oktoberfest, where you have License to Do What You Love To Do. We thrive in a heavy Saturn astroevent, such as a Station, by Giving Ourself Permission to Do/Feel/Be What We Really Want To Be Doing and Feeling and Being At That Time. But what about our Shoulda’s and our Supposta’s? For most of us, our Egos are Attached to our Shoulda’s and Supposta’s, and we can’t give them up without an Ego Death. Which feels quite Real, as our Shoulda’s and Supposta’s are so often what pays the rent and puts dinner on the table.

But after Consciously Dancing with Saturn for the last fifty years, here’s how it works for me…

If I define What I Love as Priority #1, and assign lower Priorities to all those Shoulda’s and Supposta’s. Then whenever Saturn is Lit Up, I Focus on Priority #1, and let all of the lower Priorities take care of themselves. And they do (not that I don’t still Worry about them). When a Saturn event is over, I’ve always expected that I’d have to Make Amends for my misbehaving, but I’ve never had to. Whomever I owed a duty to, had always been so busy with their own Love/Duty Conflict that they’d Forgotten all about me and whatever I was Supposta be doing for them.

I’m curious: Do you Experience Saturn astroevents as a Love/Duty Conflict?

Do you Manage the Conflict, or just Choose one side and Suffer the other? If you Manage it, how?

If you’ve tried anything similar to the Strategy I’ve found useful, I’d Love to Hear about it. If you have a different Strategy, I’d Love to Hear about that too. My Saturn is in a Mutable (Flexible) Sign, and that may impact my Experience, as Discipline is Alien to my Mutable Saturn. If your Saturn is in a Fixed Sign, for instance, your Saturn astroevents could be Massively Productive or even Manic Attention to Duty.

However, if Saturn is so all Lovey-Dovey, why is it that Saturn has such a Stern reputation? My own guess is that the Love-Duty Conflict is so Stressful that few people Enjoy it – that was after all the Popes’ primary motivation for working hard to Associate Saturn with Evil. Angeles Arrien points out that Evil is Live spelled backwards.

We’ve mentioned before that we’ve already had our first Saturn Waning Square Uranus or Challenge to Let Go of Everything That Does Not Serve Our Soul’s Purpose, in mid-February, which of course was then The Most Important Thing. These subsequent Squares in the series (culminating mid-June and late December) are just Teaching Opportunities where we find out more about what freaked us out in February. We Hope you didn’t Live in Texas, but then many other areas were hit by the February Storms as well. We Experience heavy Saturn-Uranus astroevents every eleven or twelve years, so by the time we’re thirty we’ve already been through two of them, though we get a Waning Square only every 45 or so years, and Waning Squares are often the most Stressful – if Letting Go was Easy, nobody would ever keep any Karma, would we.

If we white-knuckled our way through February and Repressed the Experience as quickly as we could, we could Easily Feel Attacked again by Forces that Appear to Want to Rip Away Our Security. If you’ve been reading here long, you’ll know that this is “just” an Ego Death. Here’s the Saturn-Station chart…

That Grand Cross (Constant Irritation) across the Nodes (Karma and Mission) is worthy of comment. The Great Attractor is pulling our Karma out of our South Node so it can be laundered and resold at auction to the highest bidding Soul that wants to try their hand at Earth Drama. If Souls can be said to have hands – I’m thinking they can have pretty much anything they want. The other axis connects Abuse and Privilege (dwarf planet Nessus) with Obsolete Unconscious Karmic Agreements that Haven’t Been Let Go Of Yet (asteroid Vesta and dwarf planet Orcus). These could be supremely Irritating, except that the Vesta-Orcus side is Self-Resolving (T-Square plus Yod equals Diamond Star or Self-Resolving Challenge), and the Nessus side is significantly Blessed (the double Trine Bridge via Saturn and Chiron).

That informs us that The Most Important Thing for Breaking Ancient Abusive Karmic Agreements, is to monitor our Mood, and Consciously snag any Despair we Feel creeping in, and Convert it to Miracles (Chiron) as soon as we are able. As frequent readers know, our favorite process for Converting Despair to Miracles, is to Poor-Sweetheart ourself. Since this axis is perpendicular to our Nodes, it’s about more than Healing or Feeling Good. It’s about Clearing Away Karma for good, and the Clearings should be Profound. For instance, you might Let Go Of any Karma that’s been inhibiting your Permission to Love Yourself enough to Do What You Want.

The Full Moon on 26 May (4:18 am PDT, 6 Sagittarius) is not only the largest-looking SuperMoon of the year (because it’s closer to the Earth than any other Full Moon, though it has enough momentum that we needn’t worry that it’ll crash into our Planet), but it’s also a Total Lunar Eclipse (starting just after 4am). You can find the whole Eclipse Story at https://www.universetoday.com/151216/super-blood-moon-total-lunar-eclipse-set-for-may-26th/. We’ll get to its chart in the next post – it looks like a yarnball!

Doubt and Confidence Redux

I’ve updated the previous post (Doubt and Confidence) with the times that some of you asked for, and other details. I’ve also expanded some of the interpretations.

Doubt and Confidence

Thanks to everyone who responded to “Test Post.” For some reason I don’t seem to be able to write part of a blog post, save it, return later to finish it, and then publish it. I get to the publication stage and WordPress says that the post isn’t “mine” so I can’t do anything else with it. I tried a dozen different ways to publish “The T-Square 2” and failed every time. (Hope I don’t jinx this post by mentioning its name.)

🦦 At any rate, we’ve made it past the Exaggeration of Doubt and Confidence (3:57 pm PDT 7 May 2021 Station of dwarf planet Chariklo), which as I said, was Dancing on my natal planets. What I Learned loud and clear at astroschool this last week was, if you want to Manifest anything, PIAVA it, don’t even Think of trying to force it through with the Ego! Which means getting really Clear about Exactly What We Want, and spending a good deal of time Rehearsing it, in the sense of Immersing yourself in How It Will Feel when the Gift crash-lands in your yard. (I’m hoping you aren’t longing for a Long March 5B, as the delivery might be a bit rough.) If you’re toiling over How It Could Happen, take a cold shower instead. If you don’t have it already, it’ll happen through some weird circumstance you can’t imagine, so just save your Energy for something useful.

I’m sure something will turn up, it always does, but the next Main Event on my calendar so far is an Exaggeration of our Priorities (Station of Saturn) on 23 May. Just as well that it’s otherwise quiet (if it actually turns out to be), as Exaggerations of our Priorities are always a Big Deal. I’m feeling it already. It’s like every bone in your Body is telling you to Do What You Are Most Inspired to Do rather than all those things you’re Supposed to be Doing. All those Shoulds which we usually assign High Priority to (you know, things like Food and Sleep and Work) fall away and it’s very Distressing as they do. But in all of the hundred-odd Priority Exaggerations that I’ve lived through, the message is always Trust Your Instincts rather than your Shoulds, and your Shoulds will end up taking care of themselves just fine. This one happens in 14 Aquarius, which should be friendlier to my own natality than Doubt/Confidence was.

We do have some “Little” stuff in the interim…

🌷Venus (our Values) moves into Gemini (Flexibility) on 8 May (7:01 pm PDT), which should Loosen our Heartstrings through the end of May. Values do Change, but never because someone else talked you into it. Betray your own Heart at your peril, because your Real Values will sabotage you very effectively through the Unconscious. Actually, while you have the Opportunity to Reshape your own Interpretation of your Heart’s Truth, it wouldn’t hurt to have a look at anywhere you Self-Sabotage already (that is, places where you don’t quickly and easily Manifest What You Want), and PIAVA to Get Clear about how you have been Misinterpreting your own Values. When we filter our Values through the Mind (“I’m [not] the kind of person that…”), the result will always be Inaccurate, as we’re using black-and-white 2D glasses to view a very Colorful Unitary and Multidimensional phenomenon.

We’re better off to Ask our Gut, or whichever other Organ(s) we Receive our Intuitions through, instead of Asking our Mind, because our Intuitive Organs are Unitary and Multidimensional tools. One Caveat though – we’ll need to Distinguish our True Values from our Unconscious Limitations, as the two can Feel very similar. Suppose for instance that I have a Value of Supporting Myself and Others, but I have an Unconscious Belief in Scarcity, so I always Feel Bad when I Give Away What I Need, but I also always Feel Bad when I don’t Give Someone Else What They Need. If you haven’t guessed already, that Feel Bad is the key. Am I Feeling Hurt because I Betrayed my Values, or Feeling Scared because I’ve Exceeded my Limitations?

You can Tap It Out (eg, “Even though I Just Gave Away What I Need, I deeply and completely Love and Accept Myself….) or Theta it (eg, “…I Command that I Receive a Better Substitute for What I Just Gave Away…”), and if these Prayers are stingy with their Insights, you can alternate the two of them till you Feel more Clear, Grounded, and Present – not Clarity in your Thoughts, but Contentment in your Intuitive Organ(s). This might sound like a Bother, but the more you do it, the more automatic it will become. Once you get used to doing it, the Tapping and Theta will fall away, and like walking or driving, it’ll “just happen.”

🌷Asteroid Atropos (Karma that Expires on its own) moves into Leo on 11 May (5:25 pm PDT), which could Peel away layers of Ego. Great Stuff, but potentially an “Eek!” as it happens. It’s there till the end of July.

🌷Asteroid Veritas (Truth of the Mind) moves into Aries (Creativity) on 12 May (2:25 am PDT), which means we’re likely to be Investing a lot less Emotion into our favorite Conspiracy Theories. This lasts till May 2022.

🌷Jupiter (Expansion) moves into Pisces (Letting Go of Emotional Baggage) on 13 May (3:36 pm PDT), which means that our Relief from Investing less Emotion may only last a day. We don’t need to Feel maudlin about this – we’re just Likely to Feel that way. Emotion is Really Important for many of us, but it doesn’t need to lead us around by a rope through our nose. So the next year will be dedicated to Learning to Use Emotion as a Guide without all the Excess Drama that Exhausts Us even as it Exhilarates Us.

🌷Asteroid BZ509 (Transcendence), whose new official name is Ka’epaoka’awela, moves into Scorpio (Relentlessness, Fearlessness) on 13 May (11:46 pm PDT), till early April 2023. Were likely to Leave No Stone Unturned in our Quest to Eliminate our Self-Sabotage till then. May we Succeed Beyond Our Wildest Dreams.

🌷The Moon goes Out of Bounds again on 13 May (4:55 pm PDT in 17:20 Gemini), till 17 May (12:43 pm PDT, in 4 Leo), probably making us More Emotional, though it’s likely to be well Rationalized, as we pay more Attention to our Thoughts about our Feelings than we do to our Feelings. Think back to “9/11” – if you watched that on TV, were you Lost in your Emotions, or Absorbed by your Thoughts about your Emotions? Can you tell the difference? If we Feel Detached from the Drama going on in the Outside World, it might Behoove us – just as an experiment – to Explore what it would feel like to have our Heart Open to some of the Drama. The Moon spans Cancer while it’s Out of Bounds, and Cancer is about Empathy, the most Healing Energy there is. Our Instincts will likely be More Powerful (Moon Stationary as it turns to head back South) on and around 15 May (3:22 pm PDT, at 25:39 North Declination, in Longitude 11 Cancer)

🌷Then while Saturn is at the height of its Standstill, on 22-23 May, Mars and Venus do a switcheroo, as Mars returns from Out of Bounds (Exaggerated Actions) and Venus goes Out of Bounds (More Attention to our Values) until mid-June. Paying More Attention to our Values will help a lot to Eliminate Self-Sabotage. Jung said that Thinking People are actually Irrational because they aren’t in touch with their own Values, with their own Heart.

🀄️ The pictures in this short article are protected from being copied, but the People in them are incredible – highly recommended! – https://www.npr.org/2021/05/06/992149491/far-from-the-internet-these-big-benevolent-trolls-lure-humans-to-nature.

Test Post

WordPress is toying with my Self-Doubt. Does this post work?

The T-Square 1

I Believe that one of the most powerful things we can do in Life is to convert our T-Squares from Lifelong Frustrations to Learning Opportunities.  The model I use is that our T-Squares Illuminate what our Soul Intends to Teach “us” in the current Lifetime.  Learning is Infinite – we re-Learn the same Lessons over and over again, in different arenas of Life and at different Levels, till we finally have enough Experience with the Curriculum that we can be said to possess Wisdom.  In this process we re-Train our Instincts.

Our Minds are two-dimensional instruments, but the World alas is Unitary and Multidimensional.  So we constantly try to Improve our 2D models of the World, to Improve our Perception and Collaboration with the World and its Forces.  The result is the Mess we Create on the Planet.  Our Instincts and Intuitions on the other hand are Multidimensional and Unitary.  They don’t have the same narrow Goal-Orientation as our 2D Minds.  Instinct and Intuition Operate through Education.  If we try to use them to Manifest something, what we’ll usually get is a Teaching about what we need to Change in our Orientation in order to Manifest it.  We usually interpret that as a failure, since it doesn’t directly produce what we Intended to Manifest.  But in fact, it’s the fastest route to Wisdom, and Wisdom will Manifest even better than Intention.

Another way to see this, is that All Prayers are Answered.  However, our Conscious Prayers are always paired with our Unconscious Limitations.  So when we “PIAVA” – Pray, Intend, Affirm, Visualize, or Ask (or Command or Expand or Wonder or several other terms – see https://astrobuss.wordpress.com/category/manifestation/piava-review/ ) something and it doesn’t Manifest, what will Manifest is an Illustration of the specific Unconscious Limitations that stand in our way.  This often Manifests as a Riddle, especially when we PIAVA many things in rapid succession, or several things at once.

We aren’t just talking about Material Manifestations – we could be trying to Manifest World Peace, for instance, or Universal Food Security, or Healing someone.

We’re Frustrated by our T-Squares because we Expect Perfection in that area of our Life, and we never get there – we could define a T-Square as a Long-Suffering Desire for Perfection that we’re unable to Surrender.  No matter how many times we “Give Up” on the Obsession, we find ourselves coming back to it, often initially disguising it from ourself, as we Explore yet another arena or level.

I’ve fallen out of the Habit, but for a long time I referred to T-Squares as Mastery through Challenge, or Becoming Adept through Challenge – being Challenged by the Universe over and over again till we “Master” the subject of our T-Square. I now try to avoid the word “Master” because it carries so much Slavery Baggage.

Astrological Angles parallel the Major Arcana of the Tarot. A Square Angle spans one Fourth of the Zodiac (known as the Fourth Harmonic), and parallels the Fourth Archetype in the Tarot – The Emperor, which “represents the universal principle of power and leadership. This symbol is the pioneer, the leader, and the visionary, … the explorer whose curiosity and initiative is always on the forefront of human experience, … the ability to make things stable, solid, and secure” (Angeles Arrien, The Tarot Handbook, p.37). But it’s Experience, especially Challenging Experience, that hones the Emperor’s Wisdom and Vision.

The peak (90° Angle) of a T-Square is where the Energy Converges and Festers into Frustration, because when the Manifestation congeals, it so seldom meets our Expectations of Perfection.  The base (Opposition) of a T-Square is where our Evolving and Ever-Inadequate 2D Model resides.

🦦 Examples will help. Here are the two T-Squares in the current 7 May 2021 Exaggeration of Self-Doubt and Self-Confidence (Station of dwarf planet Chariklo)…

We use red lines to indicate Stress or Tension. The T-Square drawn in heavy lines Focuses on Using our Unique Genius to Respond to our Survival Instincts (dwarf planets Ixion, Pholus, and Quaoar). Or not – our Unique Genius is often our Forbidden Genius. Not being able to legitimately Express our Unique Genius already Triggers Frustration and Self-Doubt, even without the T-Square.

The T-Square just makes it more Frustrating. And even if we’ve already Recovered our Unique Genius, this T-Square is likely to Trigger Frustration when we to attempt to apply it to our Survival. I can hear the echo of my father Ranting about the incompetence of politicians who can’t solve obvious problems – I hear the echo in my own Self-Talk Ranting about the same thing, knowing that it’s beyond my Competence to convince anyone of anything, and beyond my Willingness to make a Spectacle of myself trying! Another form of Self-Doubt, along with an Opportunity to bring some Semi-Conscious Limitations into Awareness.

The base of this T-Square tells us about the 2D Model that we use to try to Improve our use of our Unique Genius and our Response to our Survival Issues. The base involves our Instincts about How to Manifest (Moon Opposite dwarf planet Makemake), and their Failures to help us promote our own Survival. The T-Square Illuminates these Failures so we can try to Improve our 2D Model, or get Motivated to use a Perspective with more Dimensions than two!

If this T-Square was natal (as it will be for anyone born this week and month), we’d probably have a Life-Long Insecurity and Frustration about our Survival, subject to the Caveats we’ll reveal later. How might we deal with this? We may be ahead to Recognize that Survival is not within the scope of the 2D Mind. If we Ego-Identify with the Mind, we’re stuck in an Existential Conundrum, since the Ego’s Job is to Assure and Continue our Survival. To find a model that works better, we may have to Surrender our Survival to a Higher Power.

🐲 The second T-Square, drawn in lighter lines, Focuses on our Enlightenment, our Graduation into 5D (minor planet Zhulong). The doorway to Enlightenment has many Portals and requires that we complete many Trials, most involving Transcendence of the Ego. The base of this T-Square contrasts Self-Confidence with the Life Force (Stationary Chariklo Opposite dwarf planet Varuna). I’m always a bit shocked when I hear people bragging about their own Enlightenment, as it always sounds more like Ego to me, though who am I to Judge. Self-Confidence is totally Personal, while the Life Force is totally Impersonal. How do we Juggle these two Energies in 2D? Maybe it’s not as simple as Surrendering our Survival to a Higher Power – maybe we need to make a Personal Contribution as well.

🃏 Very seldom does astrology stick us with a naked T-Square. They’re almost always embellished with Grace of some sort, which we’ll take up in the next post.

≤5/7 Self-Doubt

💥 That’s our nemesis (the Challenge, not the asteroid) this week, till 7 May 2021 (3:57 pm PST), as the influence of dwarf planet Chariklo (Self-Doubt and Self-Confidence) is Exaggerated (Chariklo Stationary, in 5 Aquarius). Self-Doubt’s been rampant hereabouts already, but then Chariklo’s twerking on my natal planets and stirring up my Held Emotions. Fortunately, so far I’ve been Realizing that this is pretty much Exactly the Dark Side of what I’ve been Asking to Manifest. Not that there haven’t been some moments of Alarm, like when my credit card was rejected for no apparent reason, and when my WC quit working two days in a row.

As we’ve averred, one of the Greatest Blessings I’ve found from astrology is knowing that when we’re Conscious that an Energy is Exaggerated, we may be able to Avoid becoming fully Hypnotized by the Contents of our Thoughts about the Feelings that are Triggered by the Exaggeration. That was an accurate but convoluted sentence – let’s iron it out…

🦦 A Strong astroevent introduces a Wave of Emotion that’s actually as Impersonal as the Weather (which isn’t entirely impersonal, but that’s another issue). We think they’re Our Emotions, don’t we. And we’re in the Habit, many of us, of trying to Figure Out these (“Our”) Emotions Intellectually – we try to contort a 9D Wave into a 2D wrench. No wonder we make a Mess of it all!

If I Believed those old “You’re Worthless” and “You screwed up” and “If only” voices, and made Decisions based on those Beliefs (such as, “Oh, okay, I understand, Manifesting that is above my pay grade after all, isn’t it “), I’d be regrouting my Karmic walls and cementing my Limitations in place.

So we convert our Self-Talk from Negative Reinforcement (“You dumb shit!”) to Positive Reinforcement (“Whoa, Lucky You, you didn’t fall for those Self-Defecating Thoughts! Good Work! Thank You, Great Spirit!”) and go from there, with Self-Confidence our destination, or at least Neutrality.

💥 We’ll go into more detail about this later. For now, let’s talk about a few of the Embellishments…

🌙 The Moon’s Out of Bounds again, meaning we’ll be more Emotional, probably without noticing that we are, which can be good or bad! Like “9/11”, the Shinolavirus is a Moon OOB phenomenon. The Moon steps OOB for a few days every two weeks for about eleven years, then for the next eleven or so, it doesn’t step OOB at all. 9/11 and the advent of the Shinolavirus both coincided with the first OOB Moon of a series. The Moon will come back In Bounds on 3 May. I’ve been listing the times and Zodiacal locations of the first and last OOB Moons, and their intervening Station, when the Moon turns around and heads back toward the Equator. Was anyone using those times and Degrees? Let me know if you want me to resume.

🀄️ Asteroid Moira (Fate and Choice) moved into Pisces 30 April 2021. Moira was in Aquarius for only two months, but in Pisces it does a Retrograde, so it stays in Pisces for ten months. Moira in Pisces means that our Response to things like Moon OOB, and our Stories about passing Emotions, will Focus on the Drama.

🀄️ Mercury moves into Gemini on 4 May, where it stays till 29 May. Mercury in Gemini should make it easier to speak words to one another, but not necessarily easier to Understand one another, as the Focus may be surficial. Since our brains will be busy working over the details of all of our Projects (Gemini is when a Project goes to Version 2.0, or gets out of Beta testing), and so will theirs, we could talk right past one another without realizing it.

🀄️ Mercury also goes Out of Bounds on 7 May, till it turns Retrograde on 30 May. Mercury OOB in Gemini will make Miscommunications all the more Outlandish. It means we’ll be supercharged about getting our Projects into Version 2.0 though.

🀄️ And on 8 May dwarf planet Ceres (Sustainability and Sustenance) will move into Taurus, till 31 July. Taurus is as Relentless at Making the Surface Polished and Stable, as Scorpio is Fearless about Getting to the Bottom of Things. Take Advantage of the last few days of Ceres in Aries to pick Creative Ideas out of the Aethers. Listen closely for them, as they may be Whispers on the Wind. Sustenance – Eliminating the Unnecessary – is the first step, and maybe also the last step, toward Sustainability.

Ceres in Taurus will be a Demon for Sustenance and Sustainability, leaving few Stones unturned, and having little Patience for Dalliance. Hopefully we’ll take this “technology” to taming the Shinolavirus and paying the Global Heating Bill, and everything they’re Attached to. Wouldn’t hurt to use this Strategy for our own Enlightenment Projects either.