Abuse Flushbacks

Flashbacks if we get sucked under by Invasive Memories of our historical or Karmic Abuse, and Flushbacks if we discern the difference between then and now, and Celebrate another win in the contest with our Demons (dwarf planets Gonggong [Intrusive Memories] and Nessus [Abuse and Privilege] Stationary [Exaggerated] 20 November 2020 8:10 pm PST and 22 November 9:20 pm PST respectively). It’s a long game, and each win counts.

So often our Flashbacks are beneath our Awareness, and we don’t know why we just need another hit on the Chocolate or the Baileys or the Ganja or the Caffiend. Back in the 1980s, Pluto was in Scorpio and The Way Out Was Through, and when we Noticed that we were starting to Feel That Way again, one Teacher suggested that we Ask ourself, “What color is the Wallpaper?” Not that we necessarily remembered how it was then, but at least we’d be Reminding ourself to Observe the Present Moment to some degree. And not that folks use much wallpaper these days, but we can think up a working alternative. “What color is my Coffee Cup?” for instance, or “What brand is my Chocolate?”

The Energy’s been pretty bleak hereabouts. Hope it’s better in your ‘hood. It doesn’t help that the two events occur in Pisces, which is about Letting Go of Emotional Baggage, so Pisces will be doing its darnedest to get us to shift from Flashback to Flushback. Unfortunately, Pisces’s modus operandi is to tighten our Emotional thumbscrews in the hope that we’ll Notice that we need to Flush.

The two Stations are seven Degrees and two days apart, so we’ve charted them on the same graph…

The salient feature is the two red (T-Square) and blue (Grand Trine) triangle combinations pointing to Capricorn and Sagittarius at the top of the chart. These are very Powerful combinations of Challenge (red) and Blessing (blue), further Graced by the lighter blue lines, as we’ll delineate later.

The most important of the two pairs of triangles points to “Bee-Zed” in Sagittarius. Bee-Zed is a nickname for an asteroid (recently given the official name Ka’epaoka’awela – you can see why we still call it “Bee-Zed”) that orbits backwards (almost all the other planets go the other way ’round the Sun) out near Jupiter. We interpret Bee-Zed as Transcendence. It’s the more important of the two because Gonggong and Nessus are Standing Still in the base of the red triangle. And what are we Transcending?

We read that in the base (Opposition) of the T-Square, which has on one side Limiting Unconscious Beliefs (asteroid Vesta) and Pattern-Breaking (dwarf planet Orcus), and on the other side Intrusive Memories of Abuse and Privilege (Gonggong and Nessus). The Abuse side is aided and abetted (from Pisces’s somewhat perverse Perspective) by Intensified Instincts (the Moon passing by) and a Need to Create Sustainability (asteroid Ceres). So it’s not so much that we’re Learning to Flush as we’re Learning to Flush Repeatedly and Plunge if Necessary, to make our Liberation from our Abuse Karma Permanent by Perfecting the Automatic Habit of Flushing it.

We’ve talked about Vesta and Orcus before (they meet on 29 November), and about how Vows and Decisions we made and Forgot we made (Orcus) are a common, if not the only, way that Karma is Created. Abuse and Privilege involve a ton of Vows and Oaths, like “I’ll never tell anyone because he said he’d kill Mom if I do!” or “I’ll get even with you if it’s the Last Thing I Do!” or “I Demand thirty-five Recounts!” By Forgetting that it was our own Choice to Vow or Decide, we eliminate second-guessing by making it non-negotiable, so it becomes Just the Way Things Are.

So the Potential is here to Transcend our Abuse Karma, if we’re willing to Let Go of our Resistance to Healing it. A good place to Alternate Thetas and Tapping, Commanding that we Let Go, Noticing any Resistance, and Tapping it Out before we Theta again. I’ve been working on an Intrusive Memory of being Distraught at not being able to Heal a favorite Kitten of Distemper when I was in College, and how that still facilitates Self-Doubt around Healing. I probably had to Vow to Give Up Magic to Survive one of the many Purges of Natural Law in the European Middle Ages.

The blue lines point to Allies in our Transcendence. In this case Victimhood and Power (Chiron) and Surrendering our Distrust in the Life Force (Atropos-Eurydike-Varuna) are here to help. Chiron is in charge of the Shift from Despair to Liberation. We recommend Poor-Sweethearting as a quick way to make that Transition. When we’re Discouraged by our Karmic Limitations (which we often consider to be Just the Way Things Are) – by our Lack of Success at something we Want to Accomplish, we say to ourself, out loud or not, “You Poor Sweetheart, you Feel Discouraged about… [ eg Being Able to Heal ], aren’t you.”

It’s not a Declaration (no “!”), just a simple, Neutral acknowledgment (“.”) of Present-Moment Reality. Then we Change the Subject, or put our mind on other things, as Completely as we can. Sometimes when we do this, the Transformation is so complete that we never remember that we used to be Discouraged. This sounds like a Word Game, but it works because it Shifts our Identity. We become a different person. Before Poor-Sweethearting ourself, we were Discouraged. That’s very Different from Feeling Discouraged, in which case we are an Observer reviewing our Current-Moment Emotions. In the earlier case, our Identity was, literally, Discouragement. The verb “to be” is a verb of Identification, of Equality, Discouragement R Us.

The Unconscious interprets our thoughts at this level. Once we Poor-Sweetheart ourself, Compassion R Us. We’re Being Compassionate with ourself. If we can manage to Change the Subject, we’re Transformed. As Compassion, we can Change many things, and often Easily. From the Perspective of who we were before, we can now do Miracles. Without Changing the Subject Completely, our old mental Habits will reconstruct our Previous (Discouraged) Identity. So we may need to Poor-Sweetheart ourself about not being able to Change the Subject, Theta it, or Tap it Out. Keep at it till you find something that absorbs your Attention.

The blue lines symbolize Grace, so Poor-Sweethearting (Chiron) and Surrendering our Distrust in the Life Force (Atropos-Eurydike-Varuna) and Transcendence (Bee-Zed) are all Collaborating Effortlessly at this time, so Effortlessly that we usually don’t even Notice. Dwarf planet Varuna represents Mother Nature, the Magic that underlies All of Life, the Energy that Separates Coyote from Dust Bunny and gives the former Sovereignty over their own Domain. Not that Dust Bunny doesn’t have Consciousness, but under what we consider to be “normal” circumstances, he seems to be at the whim of every breeze or broom.

If we Focused on it long enough, we could invite Dust Bunny to tell us the History and Herstory of the Universe. We may not need to Trust the Life Force that much to be able to Surrender into the Grace of the blue triangle (a “Grand Trine” or Dumb-Luck Blessings). But while we Hupers are Creator Beings, much of the time we aren’t the most Powerful Creator Being around. If we aren’t Ready to Transcend, we won’t. It’s that simple. But what the astrology tells us is that there’s a heck of a lot that we Can Transcend right now, so it’s a great time to Stretch into Expanding our Limits, and making it Sustainable.

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