More Ego Death

Until 11:20 am PDT 30 April 2020, the symbol for Ego Death (asteroid Nemesis) is very Strong (Stationary).  It’s Merged with (Conjoins) the symbol for Oath-Making and -Breaking (dwarf planet Orcus), and Stands in Sharp Contrast to (Opposes) the symbol for Abuse and Privilege (dwarf planet Nessus).  That sounds a bit ominous, but it offers Opportunities for Healing.  Just for starters, there are no major Challenges (T-Squares) involved in the Sharp Contrast, so Illumination can be the major function of the event.

Abuse, whether Chronic or Acute, is a horrendous Emotional Burden.  Like any Wound, our first Instinct is to Wall it Off, do everything we can to put our Attention on anything else but.  And as with a Physical Wound, by doing that we can create a kind of Cyst, which may fester, or may stay tightly Closed till some later event Opens it and flushes the Toxins out.  Either way, it’s a dark cloud in our Psyche, coloring our view of the Outside World.

Our Limitations are often the result of Decisions, Oaths, or Vows (Orcus) we made ages ago.  We then set up Lifetime Habits to make sure we Defended our Decisions.  When that was Successful, we forgot the original Oath, and our Defensive Thoughts and Behaviors just became our Personality.  The rest of our Self ended up Walled Off in its own Cyst.  Not so much a dark cloud, as a big chunk of Blue Sky that the Sun never seems to find.

The geometry in the chart of this Nemesis Station speaks Clearly…

The major Configuration is what we call a Parachute.  Often Parachutes are symmetrical, which is a great Blessing.  This one’s got a hint of umbrella-after-the-windstorm to it, but it looks like it will still float us to the Ground.  What’s the Crux?  Asteroid Moira, named after the Greek Goddess of Fate.  Does this mean that we’re Stuck with the ills that are befalling us?

Not at all.  Fate and Free Will form a Dichotomy, so we know that it’s an Artifact of the Dualistic Mind.  Reality is Unitary and Multifarious, so any time we encounter a Duality we know we’re looking at a Limitation in the Observer, not something “Objective” – as if there is such a thing.  If it’s Either/Or, it’s Political.  If it’s Real, it’s Both/And.

We’re Fated to Repeat our Karma until we Recognize that we’re running a one-size-fits-all Pattern in our Life that in fact, in most cases, doesn’t actually Work.  Once we Identify with our Observer Self instead of our Thinker or Actor, we can Choose at any point to modify our Thoughts and Behavior.  Since the World as we Experience it is a Mirror for our Thoughts and Behavior, modifying those Changes the World.

That’s a little harder to grasp if we’re an Emotional Thinker (Mercury in Pisces, Cancer, or Scorpio) or if our Emotions Dominate our Value System (Venus, Sun, Moon, or other major Indicators in Water Signs).  With my own planet of Values (Venus) in a Sign of Empathy (Pisces), I had a hard time accepting the notion that we can Choose our Emotions.  That felt like a major Self-Betrayal to me.  Eventually I Realized that I was being the Victim of my own Feelings, and began the long process of Separating my Identity from my Emotions.  That’s an important step toward Identifying with the Immortal and Limitless Soul and moving toward 5D.  What we Identify with, we cannot see without a Mirror.

For me personally, David Keirsey and Marilyn Bates’s Please Understand Me and Jane Roberts’s Nature of Personal Reality were major milestones.  Not to mention Tapping and Theta.

So this Nemesis Station gives us an excellent Opportunity to become a Witness to whatever Abuse we have Suffered, and if we’re very Lucky, perhaps even to grok the Original Oath (such as “I’ll never put myself in that kind of situation again!“) that has Constrained our Relationship with Reality, so that we can Revert it…

Don’t be deterred by the reference to the J-Man.  The same is true of any Personification of Godessness or Godness, or even of our own Making.  Religions like to insist on their own Fave, but we know that if it’s Either/Or it’s Political (Political is the adjectival form of Ego).  The part about Belief is Important, and may require some Tapping/Thetaing or other PIAVAing to Create.  And if we are indeed possessed of Free Will, which of course we are (Both/And), then any “Evil” that we encounter is just a Split-Off part of ourself.  When we made the Oaths that we’re Reverting now, they were in Earnest and served a Positive purpose for us in that Then.  Now they’re just Obsolete.

We aren’t just dealing with the Demise of Egos that evolved from Abuse, but also Egos that devolved from Privilege.  If Abuse is heads and Privilege is tails, the Coin is Power.  If we Claim our Power as Conscious Entities, Sacred Beings, and Lightworkers, then all other Conscious Entities (including Rocks and the like) are our Equals.  We use Negotiation and PIAVAs rather than Privilege, and we Step Aside from Abusers, letting them Act out their Aggressions and Regressions on those who still need that Curriculum.

So what do we do when Privilege comes into our Consciousness, as it has already around here?  The first step is Gratitude.  If we’ve Enjoyed Privilege it’s not because we’ve Earned it, it’s because in one way or another we Asked for it.  Asking necessarily precedes Receiving, and Gratitude necessarily follows it.

One key with Privilege is Abundance.  Abundance means Having Enough to Share.  Sharing is Proof that our Belief is Intact, that we are Receiving from an Abundant and Generous, if not Infinite, Source.  A second key is Self-Love.  If we aren’t Satisfying our own Needs first, then Sharing is a Self-Betrayal, and our Betrayed Self may seek to exact their just Revenge – another dark cloud in our Psyche.

The chart agrees, as it tells us to Pay Attention! (Goddessfinger or green wedge) to the Relationships between our Mercy Killing of Olde Identities that are tied to Obsolete Oaths (Nemesis Stationary Conjunct Orcus), our Self-Sovereignty (Lilith), and the Truth of our Heart (asteroid Aletheia).

We may need to make some awkward Adjustments to a few of our Relationships when we do this, but then every Ego Death requires that we Stand Our New Ground when Others want to paint us back into the Boxes they recognize as “Us.”  No Blame, that’s a natural Reaction from anyone who isn’t always in the Present Moment – which includes virtually all of us.  We just need to be Patient but Persistent with them while we take advantage of the Opportunity to Practice being our Reborn self and re-Introduce ourself to them.  That’s , if the Relationship is worth keeping to our New Persona, and they are capable of Adjusting their Expectations (not everyone will be).

Self-Love and Sustainability have both arisen here in Important ways, but neither of their symbols (asteroid Sappho and dwarf planet Ceres) are prominent in the chart we have in front of us.  They’re very much indirectly involved, and we’ll take that up in a subsequent post.

The chart avers yet again, as a second Instruction to Pay Attention! (Finger of the Yoddess) points to the symbol for the Truth of the Heart (Aletheia) and it’s Relationships with not only the Loving and Gentle Demise of our Olde Oathy Identities (Nemesis-Orcus), but also to the New Identities we are Birthing (asteroid Klotho).

Tying the chart up and wrapping it with a bow is another Pay Attention! Missive, this one Focused on our Self-Sovereignty and of course it’s antithesis Codependence (Lilith) – we may even gain Insights into places where we’re in the Habit of Giving Away our Power.  Its Roots are our Ego Death (Nemesis-Orcus) and our Lesson Plan about Fate/Karma and Choice (Moira).  Remember that it’s Consciousness that Liberates us from what has been Disguised as Fate, so every time you Recognize another Ego Death with its accompanying Letting Go of Rigid Judgments, you Gain more Freedom to Be Yourself and to Pursue What You Really Want.

Also adding a second bow is the Great Gift of Effortless Grace (Grand Trine) between Fate/Choice (Moira), Abuse/Privilege (Nessus), and Rebirth (Klotho), virtually assuring that this whole Ego-Death Adventure will be Easy and Painless.  IF (it’s a big If) we remain Conscious that Karma is in fact Dead, and the only thing that can tie us to it is our ongoing Unconscious Expectation that the Future will be like the Past.  I mean, what Expectation is more Reasonable than that!  But it’s wrong, and Self-Sabotaging.  That’s the nature of Karma after all, Self-Sabotage.

I know, lots to keep track of, but we’re developing New Habits that will better Serve us as we move into a World with more Collaboration, Cooperation, and Community.  As we continue to Practice these Skills and Integrate them with our New Identities, they’ll become more automatic.  Then we can start over, since New Karma will by then have become Ossified.

Oh, one more thing.  We haven’t mentioned two more “bows.”

The big red square and cross or X (Grand Cross) connects Fate/Choice and the Truth of the Heart with our Essence (the Sun) and our Instincts about which Patterns need to be jettisoned (Moon and asteroid Lachesis).  The latter makes an excellent addition to our Identity-Pattern Purge, and the former helps us Identify the Keepers that are really Permanently Ours and not temporary and Obsolete.

The big blue rectangle (Golden Rectangle) makes a contribution of Grace that connects our Oathy Ego Death, our Essence, Fate/Choice, and Abuse/Privilege, providing yet another set of Guideposts to keep us from throwing any Newborns out the window by accident.

One Response to “More Ego Death”

  1. Grandtrines Says:

    Reblogged this on Grandtrines .

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