Busy August III

Scorpio is Fearless, Relentless, and won’t stop till it gets to the Bottom of Things.  When you try to Bullshit or Obfuscate or Avoid Scorpio’s penetrating Investigations, Scorpio can get very Icy.  You can tell when you’re dealing with someone who has an emphasis in Scorpio, because they Hold your Gaze.  That Intimidates many.  You can certainly tell Scorpio that it’s None of their Business, but good luck trying to Divert its Attention.  This is the nature of Scorpio as an Energy, not as a Huper.  Note that Pluto Energy is very similar.

So, correcting our brainfart of Busy August I, we are starting a Nemesis New Moon.  You can think of your Nemesis as an Enemy who’s eventually going to Whup Yer Ass, and there isn’t much you can do about it.  I think that’s not far from the use of the term in everyday language.  And yes, if you’re thinking about Getting Yer Ass Whupped, then yes, I’d say you were Guilty – of something.  Feelings are – or are supposed to be – Energy in Motion, or E-Motion for short.  So if you’re Stuck mulling on some kind of Guilt, as with any other Feeling, the Energy needs to Move.

So how do we Move Guilt?  Well, it isn’t usually quite that Clear-Cut, is it.  When we was Kids the Rules were probably pretty Clear, and we were perhaps Punished for Transgressions.  So we had to Hide (Guilt ain’t Moving, is it), or Confess.  If as Adults we Break a Promise, and the Relationship is a Keeper, we of course need to Make Amends.  Breaking Laws can be a bit more complex, because we may Resent rather than Respect the Law we Break.  Being Stuck on Resentment isn’t any Better than being Stuck on Guilt.  In fact, many people Wear their Resentments as if they were Merit Badges.  That’s Ego doing the Wearing.

Guilt is actually similar.  You Transgressed somehow, and your Obedience – or the Continuity of your Consciousness about your Desire to Obey – to whatever Rule or Promise you Broke, becomes a Demerit Badge stuck to your Ego.  You don’t Feel Good about yourself, or you feel like you need to make Excuses for yourself.  But, Amends may not be appropriate.  Someone may be Angry at you for not keeping an Agreement you actually didn’t make.  They just Expected you to Behave a certain way, but you didn’t.  You aren’t Wrong, but you Feel a bit Guilty anyway.  Like, Maybe I Shoulda.  Or If only I’da Known!  Or even, My Moon must be in Klutz!

If you pick up on the Thread, you’ve already noticed that Guilt, Resentment, and Nemesis are about Ego.  They’re neon signs that tell us our Ego needs to Grow.  Egos are nothing if not Tenacious, kind of like Scorpio.  So Egos don’t usually Shift, even if it’s a Shift into Growth, without a fight.  Consequently, we interpret asteroid Nemesis as Ego Death.  The hallmark of Ego Death is the sense that I’d rather Die than do that.  Well, Ego Deaths are seldom fatal to the Body, so, even though we thought we were Experiencing something about Dying, we were really Experiencing something about EgoI would rather Die than…

After we Feel Terrible for a while, we finally Accept what’s going on, bite the bullet, Decide what we have to Do about it, if anything, and Move Forward with a New Ego, vs. 815.9.  We can save ourselves a Shitload of Grief by Learning to Recognize the Signs of Ego Death, and instead of Suffering through the Purgatory of it, just Let Go and Let the Shift happen, quickly and easily.  Beside the I’d rather Die business, other signs of incipient Ego Death are Confusion, Forgetting what we know by Heart, Getting Lost a block from Home, and Major Lackawanna.

So this is what’s likely to be going on for the next few weeks.  Use it as the Learning Opportunity that it is.

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