20-25 Degrees II

From the previous post…

We also Believe that, (1) on a Soul level, we Chose the Configurations of planets in our natal chart, because that’s what “We” (our Soul) wanted to “Work On” in the current Lifetime.  Many folks have difficulty with this concept; the easy path to it lies through shifting your Identity till you find a place from which it’s True.

Which would probably benefit from more explication…

Some folks, usually those Trapped in Blame, refer to this as “New Age Guilt.”  That of course is a Projection, because the Guilt is all theirs, and the only connection it has to “New Age” is that they Believe that some philosophy they’re disparaging is the Object of their Resistance.  They obviously know nothing about what they’re intending to reference.

Blame is a Universe unto itself, with few exits.  In Blame there is a Compulsive Attachment to the Past and a Compulsive Need to Attribute Cause, usually To Someone, for Perceived Past Infraction of some (very often unspoken) Rule, most often their own mom’s and not ours. 

An alternative Universe substitutes Responsibility, or more accurately Respond-ability, for Blame.  In Responsibility there is a Conscious Attention to the Future and a Deliberate Attempt to Improve Outcomes.

In a topsy-turvy Bullying Trumpian World, Blame might sometimes be an Intentional Strategy (ie, a Response), but it’s usually a Compulsive Reaction and a Self-Sabotaging Archetype, probably highly correlated with Held Emotions in one way or another. 

As such, when we find ourself Trapped in the Blame Universe without a towel, which almost all of us will from time to time, we can consider it a Blessing (plant our feet, look it in the eye, and Ask “What do you have to Teach me?”) and a doorway to our own Held Emotions.  We’ll be reaching into the Unconscious, so PIAVA (q.v., in the Categories list) will be much more productive than Anal-ysis or other Dynamic approaches.

Blame begins a “vicious circle” or Negative Spiral, as the Object of Blame usually Reacts in kind.  How many of us have been Trapped in Relationships that thrive on that kind of Dynamic?  How many of us are now Trapped in Relationships that thrive on that kind of Dynamic?

So then, if there are few exits, how do we Plan our Escape?  Recognize that Planning is a Dynamic approach, which will be greatly improved by a parallel Magnetic or PIAVA approach.  However, it will probably help to do some advance preparation.

We cannot Change anyone except ourself.  So our entry point lies in our own Reaction to being Blamed.  Our Goal is Neutrality – “Oh, there’s Blame again; isn’t that inter-esting,” as Bugs would say.

Our leverage lies in Awareness.  “Oh, there’s my own Anger arising.  You Poor Sweetheart, you’re Feeling Irritated, aren’t you” (see “Poor Sweetheart” in Categories).  When that Works, we’ll suddenly be in Self-Compassion instead of Anger.  If it doesn’t Work, we’ll need to Tap it out (see “Tapping” in Categories).  It will be much easier to go to Neutrality from Self-Compassion than from Anger.

Then you can Take Responsibility for your own Vulnerability to Blame.  What if you actually Chose on some level in this Lifetime to practice being Neutral to Blaming.  The Blamers in your Life are just there to help you work on this.  You didn’t Choose it?  Hmmm.  So you have no Influence on your own Life?  Who Chose it for you then?  Why would you Allow them Sovereignty over your Life?  “Hit me,” said the Masochist.  “No,” said the Sadist.  Is that really your Choice?

When you’re being Blamed for something (whether “warranted” or not – even if Deserved, there are a thousand more constructive ways to proceed than Blame), what you say in return is pretty irrelevant.  The purpose of Blaming is to arouse Guilt or Shame in the Blamed Party.  If you don’t go to Guilt or Shame, and stay Neutral instead, then the Blamer has nothing to get their jollies from.  Sooner or later they’ll lose interest in you and find someone else to Badger.  Moving toward Neutrality is where your Power lies. 

And by the way, while you’re eliminating Blame from your Life, why not go a step further and eliminate Cause and Effect?  Instead of “Figuring Out” what needs to be done, just Focus on How You’ll Feel when it is done.

3 Responses to “20-25 Degrees II”

  1. sharonstjoan Says:

    Very wise words! Yes, blame is a trap that we so easily fall into. And understanding that is the key to many things in life. Thank you!

  2. QuillessBending Says:

    Very insightful and helpful… but I think you probably meant to switch Sadist and Masochist in that sentence- the maso being the one who wants to be hurt and bullied by the sadist, and the sadist being the one who hurts the masochist by doing so, or not doing so.

  3. astrobuss Says:

    Good point, QuillessBending! Thanks!

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