Gauntlet III

A reader writes…

I’m really trying to sit back and remind myself that it’s only yet another layer of karma.  But oh my goodness, how am I going to get through this alive and in one piece? 

Or is the whole point of this to get broken into pieces and remould myself later…”
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I hear ya!  There are a lot of Issues Lit Up, they’re all Heavy, and – fortunately – they all Complement one another, so if we can Hang On, there will be immense Healing going on.  One of The Most Important Things is not to try to Think It or Figure It Out. 
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Modulate the Heavy Emotions as best you can with Tapping, Kegels, Breathing, Poor-Sweethearting, and PIAVAs, especially PIAVAs that include some equivalent to “Loving and Gentle.”  Modulate the Regressions to other Timelines as best you can by repeatedly bringing yourself back to the Present Moment. 
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Whatever is Dominating your Experience, shift to a Different Modality.  For instance, if your Emotions or your Interpersonal Circumstances are barely (or even Not) tolerable, Ask yourself “What’s going on in my Body Physically?” and Focus there.  If you’re in Physical Pain, Ask yourself, “What Emotion would I be Feeling if I could do Emotions right now?”  If you Feel like the Goddess has Abandoned you, put your Attention on something Beautiful.
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If you’re stuck in a Solutionless Hyperloop in your Mindbone, who’s the primary Other in the Drama?  Imagine holding a wardrobe Mirror up between you and them, facing them.  Hold it for a few minutes, to see if you Feel more Grounded, while you watch to see if they try to stretch tentacles around the Mirror (expand the Mirror), or try to “come around to the back” (use a Dome-shaped Mirror if you need to; Intend that it Allows Air in).  If the Mirror doesn’t help, try the second candidate for primary antagonist – living or dead.
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If it’s a Arbitrary Authority that has you in its grasp, hold your Mirror up to whomever taught you to Obey that Authority more than your Own Instincts, Intuitions, and Intelligence.  If you’ve Personalized the Authority, Dare to hold the Mirror up to the vaunted Personage.  I mean, what would Jesus Do?  He Melts my Mirror and floods me with Love and Mirth.  What does your Air-Hero do?
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Here’s the chart we’re in…
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As you can see, the Hylonome (Becoming Conscious of Codependence) Station (Strong Energy thereof) and the Saturn (The Most Important Thing) Station are in the same Zodiacal location and only a few days apart.  So The Most Important Thing is Becoming Conscious of our Codependence.  Codependence just means that we let someone else, or some Thing else (such as an Unconscious Archetype or Belief, or an Abstract Authority) make our Decisions for us, leaving us without Choice.  As we’ve seen Choice and Consciousness are pretty much synonymous.
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We face three main tightly-coordianted Challenges here, in addition to Untangling The Most Important Thing from our Codependence (which is a Challenge, but not one we’re likely to Master here, as the two Energies are hopelessly Merged)…
  • Facing Codependence as The Most Important Thing involves Ego Death (asteroid Nemesis Squaring the Hynonome-Saturn Stations – heavy lines)
  • Healing Abuse involves Setting New Boundaries that Keep us Safe (Pallas T-Square on Orcus-Nessus Opposition – light lines)
  • Making our Dedication to our Mission Sustainable involves Facing our Held Emotions (Nodal Axis with Ceres on the North Node – light lines)

As John Muir says, “The minute we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the Universe.”  I mean, these are really all the same Issue, just seen from Different Angles, and it’s an incredible Gift from the Universe to be able to Let them Heal One Another.  If we can stay out of their way.

So let’s look at the ways they Heal one another…

  • The Ego Death-Codependence Conundrum is Embraced by two PIAVAs (the Nemesis-Hylonome/Saturn Square is part of a Trine Fez, and we deal with a Fez by attending to the diagonal Quincunxes)…
    • “I wonder about the Relationship between my Codependence and the Sustainability of my Mission” – Not Think about but Wonder about (Ceres-North Node Quincunx to Stations).  Sort of the way you Wonder about how in the devil that gorgeous, brilliantly colored Butterfly just crawled out of that brown turd-like valise!  (If you’re a biologist, Wonder instead about the Night Sky instead.)
    • Ganishi, Please Remove All Obstacles to Reverting my Limiting Oaths with Loving and Gentle Ego Deaths” – our Oaths (such as “I can never tell anyone or he’ll Kill Mom”), if they are Limiting, are protected by Integration with Ego (Orcus Quincunx Nemesis)
  • Our Like-It-or-Not Focus on Healing our Codependence (see above) AND our Attention to our Mission (see below) both represent Easy ways to Master our Boundary Challenges (Both Hylonome-Saturn, and the Nodal Axis, Trine-Bridge the Pallas T-Square on the Orcus-Nessus Opposition)
  • Our Ego Deaths facilitate Movement toward Sustaining our Mission (Nemesis Trine-Bridges the Nodal Axis)

So being Loving and Gentle with our Ego Deaths turns out to be one of the Levers of Power.  PIAVAing that will help, because Ego Deaths aren’t an intellectual process, nor a Power-Over process – we’re attempting to Manipulate the Unconscious.  One of the most Powerful ways to soften an Ego Death is to recognize that “I’d rather Die!” and “I feel like I’m Dying!” are literally untrue as we usually interpret them.  We naturally put our emphasis on the Die/Dying part, whereas what’s really happening is that the accent is actually on the “I” part.

“I’d rather Die” means yes, an Ego Death would be preferable to Re-experiencing our Held Emotions and Traumas, which is great.  When we’re Conscious that an Ego Death is occurring, they’re Easy.  We just recognize that Confusion is the first sign of Growth, Accept the Confusion as an Emotion in its own right, without trying to Fix it, and bang, we’ve mid-wifed our New Identity.  It has some re-orienting to do, so a little Confusion will remain for a while, but we’re basically done.

“I feel like I’m Dying!” is just code for “Oh, there’s my Held Emotion!  Aren’t I Delighted to finally get that out in the Open where I can be Present and Loving with it, because hiding in the cave like it’s been, it Sabotages my Entire Life!”  Make that Reframe and you’re likely to feel tremendous Excitement instead, as you watch the detritus falling off of your Future Timeline.

Bon Voyage!

Oh, one more thing.  Hidden in the chart are several light purple lines that make a wedge pointing at Vesta-North Node.  This is a “Quintangle,” a wedge make up of two Biquintiles (Learning to Break out of Dogma) and a Quintile (Learning and Teaching).  The object of the Lesson Plan is Sustaining our Dedication to our Mission, and the curriculum involves Beliefs (Vesta) and Confusion (Neptune).  Learn to regard the Emotion of Confusion as one of the Greatest Gifts you can Receive, as long as you Celebrate it without trying to “Figure it out.”

5 Responses to “Gauntlet III”

  1. QuillessBending Says:

    PIAVA?

  2. Debbie Says:

    Thanks! holding the mirror up and around if necessary is a good trick.

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