Surrendering to the Unknown X

Don’t know about youalls, but I can sure feel that “Walking through Jello” Pluto-Stationary sensation!  It’s not my favorite.

A reader writes…

“WTF is happening??  Do I really not want the things I really want and actually get excited about in my belly???  Spins me into depression.  I cant seem to move the fu#% forward.  I just feel even more determined now.”

True for many of us I fear; an Unconscious part of us plays the “Do I really not want” Antagonist part while Consciously we play the “Want the things I really want and actually get excited about in my belly” Protagonist.

That’s why we need to Change the Subject, then a bit later, Pay Attention.  What did we Ask for, and what did we get?  It’s actually a Blessing, because our Unconscious Self-Saboteur is out of the closet.  Without this “Blessing” they’d just be quietly remaining invisible while tripping us.

Feeling “even more determined” is important, but it has to be “even more determined” to Pay Attention, rather than “even more determined” to “move the fu#% forward,” because declaring War on our Mirrors is dangerous – we’d end up miming the Antichrist. 

Fritz would advise that we Ask our “Do I really not want” Antagonist to pull up a chair and have a chat with our “Want the things I really want and actually get excited about in my belly” Persona.  We need to find out what our Antagonist wants for us that we’d also want for ourself if it was expressed as a Positive rather than an Impediment.

Suppose the Antagonist put roadblocks in the way of selling our house.  Do they think that the house creates Safety or Security?  Do they think that the market will be friendlier next year?  Do they think that selling is good but we’re missing something important, like the gold buried in the back yard?  Do they want us to have a better post-house plan, or do they want us to Expand our pictures of what’s Possible?

We don’t know; we have to Ask.  We have our suspicions, but those are mostly just our Protagonist’s Guilt or Fear.  We should React to our Antagonist’s answer with a surprised “Oh!” rather than a patient “Ok” or a sardonic “Uh-huh.”  The answer should be as unanticipated as the roadblocks.

That’s not always easy.  So we accept a trial answer and try it out.  Suppose that what we most hope to gain by selling is Freedom, and we think maybe Safety is what our Antagonist might want for us.  Then we might use Theta…

God/Goddess, Creator of All That Is, I Command a rapid and lucrative sale of my house that gives me both Freedom and Safety.  It Is Done, It Is Done, It Is Done!  Thank you, God/Goddess! … Show me!

What do we See or Feel?  Free and Safe?  Liberated but Scared?  Safe but still Enchained? 

We may have discovered something else; an underlying Anxiety for instance.  We may have to Tap that Out, then try our Theta PIAVA again.  Or maybe we’ve been reminded that we don’t trust banks, and we’re worried about being able to keep the proceeds Safe after we sell.  We may have to add that to our Command list.

These are heavy times, with Stationary Chaos Asking us to up the ante, while Pluto is “threatening” us with new Trances that are Asking our old Identity to move aside.

Another reader writes…

“Pluto has been hanging out going over my Capricorn Ascendant, plus this recent solar eclipse was near my natal Pluto.  Certainly a Trance Re-formation, but I’m curious about all that Pluto– Do we just call it all a Giant Reset or what?  Maybe like snaking a clogged drain? 

“And where might that leave the effect of my Ascendant on my Reset personality?  In some ways I’m feeling less like following the Capricorn ethic, but maybe that’s something that always stays, but also gets Reformed…?

Yes, Pluto is deep in the Unconscious, and while it impacts us very Personally, its operation is totally Impersonal.  If Pluto was the Antichrist, we would be the Puerto Ricans.  We have the ability to manipulate details, but we’re Powerless to Control where Pluto is going.  The Capricorn Mantra is “Just Fix It, Ok?  We don’t have time to mess around.”  Look at the Antichrist and all the difficulties he’s having trying to “Just Fix It.”  As if he was selling his house.

It’s the same issue, really, but we have a good guess about who the Antagonist is.  The antipole or Unconscious side of Capricorn is Cancer – Nurturance.  For it to work it has to be “Just Fix It Compassionately, Ok?”  Then maybe we can “move the fu#% forward.” 

The Pluto Shadow Period (span of its Retrogradation) is 17-20 Capricorn.  It crossed this territory between 29 December 2016 and 20 April 2017, then backed over it, and now it’s set to cross it again for the third time.  An astrological triple-cross says, “Give this a good hard look, ok?”  17-20 Capricorn is the tail end of the Cancer Duad and all of the Leo Duad of Capricorn. 

We’ve been in the Cancer Duad since early August, and we’ll be there till 21 October, so the primary issue is explicitly Lack of Compassion.  So far The People have won.  Once we get to 21 October we’ll be crossing the Leo Duad, and Lack of Integrity will be primary.  Go, Mueller!

Yes, a Giant Reset is always a Possibility with Pluto.  The upcoming (5 October) Mars-Venus Initiation is Conjoined by Eurydike, so for the next year and a half the overarching theme in our Relationships will be Trust.  The Eurydike story is about escape from Pluto’s Underworld; her husband Orpheus has permission to bring her back from Death, but only if he doesn’t look back to see if she’s still following him.  He does.  Giant Reset. 

The Ascendant is mostly Reflexive; it’s more about how others see us than about who we really are.  If we see ourself as our Ascendant, we may be seeing ourself through the eyes of Other.  That’s a fabulous Skill, but if it’s an Archetype (a dominant Pattern), it needs to be one of many Skills at seeing, not the only Skill. 

Which brings us to a third reader, who writes…

“Watching myself twisting and accommodating and cheering and – Wait!  Will that even work for MEEEE?  I do not know how to just think of me first.  I do not believe in space for me – I’m compromising and accommodating before its even necessary.”

Another “Esoteric Purpose” for our being Abused by the US Antagonizer In Chief, is showing us how to do Me First and even Me Only.  We find it Disgusting – but that’s our Unconscious Self-Sovereignty that we’re Rejecting with Disgust.  Time for some Poor-Sweethearts.

“You poor Sweetheart, you feel Disgusted by that, don’t you.”  But this is a double-edged sword.  Yes, your Conscious Protagonist is Disgusted, but your Unconscious Antagonist is being Rejected.  So close your eyes, hold your nose, and Imagine yourself into that Disgusting Me-Firster.  How does your Heart Feel?  We may need to do this more often.

Immature parents (I mean, how old were they, anyway) will often inject deep Abandonment into kids at a very early age.  The earlier we picked up our Archetypes, the harder they are to identify, bring into Consciousness, and complement them with a full quiver of Skill Options.  That’s especially true if we were Abandoned before we were Verbal, since while Consciousness doesn’t depend completely on Language, there’s a close relationship. 

Healing ancient wounds requires that we constantly Congratulate ourself for Noticing the Unconscious Pattern rather than Condemning ourself for Executing it again.  Once we can develop that Habit, we’ve converted the vicious cycle of Self-Condemnation to a virtuous cycle of Self-Loving.  From that Perspective, it’s much easier to Choose an Option and break the Archetype’s hold on us, and Choosing gets easier and easier each time we Notice.

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