Codependence

Codependence is the technical term for when you can’t tell where you end and someone else begins.  For instance, you might “walk on eggshells” when your partner is in a bad mood, because your sense of Personal Safety depends on not being blasted if you say the wrong thing or look the  wrong way.  Or you may be flooded with Abandonment when an expected phone call from someone important doesn’t materialize.  Then when they do call they ask you questions that you’re squeamish about answering because if you’re Honest you Fear it might damage your reputation with them.  That might bring up your Shame, or if you’re Offended that they ask such questions, your Suffocation; either way you Withdraw.

Another technical term for issues like these is Boundaries.  Boundaries is how we know, to the extent that we do, where our Sovereignty ends and theirs begins.  If you look around you’ll probably see a lot more Codependent Boundaries than you will Healthy Boundaries.  The very Polarization that’s characterized our no-longer-so-new Century (correlated with the Grand Cross in the 1/1/2000 chart) is a Boundary issue.  People are unable to listen to one another or tolerate one another because their Identities are Merged with their Ideologies, and their Ideologies differ so much that they collide like two bowling balls.  Boundaries are Difficult. 

Hylonome was a Centaur in Greek stories, whose boyfriend was killed in the same melee that Killed Kenny and Pholus, and Wounded Chiron.  She rushed to her boyfriend’s side, pulled the arrow out of his still-warm body, and killed herself with it.  She preferred that to the Grief that she would Feel if she didn’t.  That’s a good example of Boundaries gone awry. 

Juno (her Roman name; she was Hera in Greece) was Zeus’s wife.  Since Zeus invented the Alpha Male Patriarchy, he dined on any female that he fancied.  Hera/Juno was Offended by this, and turned many of her Rivals to Stone, though it didn’t slow Zeus down much.  Another Boundary issue – Juno’s jealousy prevented her from seeing where BigBoy ended and she began.  When he screwed around, she felt it like a knife in her ribs.  Yes, certainly there’s an Energetic Truth to that.  But it’s also an Aura with big holes in it.  We’d prefer Choice – Choosing to be Open in some circumstances, and Closed in others, our Choice.

Sensitivity and Vulnerability are not the same thing.  The first thing a good Intuition instructor teaches is how to Protect yourself, how to close up the holes in your Aura with tricks like our Mirrors.  The second thing a good Intuition instructor teaches, is where you end and someone else starts.  A typical exercise has one person Sending an Emotion and another Receiving, then the roles are switched.  How many times does the Receiver get the same Emotion as the Sender?  Not so often, because the Receiver’s Archetypes get in the way.  Or the Sender’s – they could have been programmed to Believe that Anger was actually “Love.”   Which isn’t so rare.

Our Calendar says (https://astrobuss.wordpress.com/2017/09/03/calendar/)…

14 September 2017

Hylonome turning Direct in 5 Capricorn on 14 September (3am PDT).

And Hylonome just happens to be Stationary right on top of Juno…

So we get to work on our Edges.  We interpret Juno as the Growing Edges of our Consciousness, because every Codependent Dance we do is a blatant invitation to get Conscious of that Archetype so we can achieve Choice.  We interpret Hylonome as getting Conscious of our Karmic Archetypes because if we had Choice we wouldn’t need to follow our Alter-Ego to the Other Side.  When they sit on top of each other, with one Stationary, the message is pretty clear.

Their Conjunction Squares Makemake (Manifestation) to remind us that if we see the World through an Archetype darkly, it will be more difficult to score What We Want, often even to know What We Want.  Our Archetypes, our Mergings, our knee-jerk Reactions that preclude Choice, are Self-Sabotaging.

The T-Square in the chart betrays an all-too-frequent source of our Unconsciousness.  It’s focused on Sappho (Self-Love), but its base is the Opposition between Nessus-OR10 (Unbidden Memories of Abuse and Privilege) and Mercury-Mars-Atropos (an End to Bullying).  Childhood Abuse is so fraught with Denial, Secrecy, Deception, Bullying, and Disrespect, that it’s too often the vehicle for conveying our Karma into our Current Lifetime.  It’s a perfect stage for installing an Archetype that overwhelms our fragile Childhood Ego and replaces our Power to Choose what we want to Experience.

This chart is a Perfect Storm for Recovering our Abuse Memories, Painful as they are likely to be.  But their Recovery can lead us to Freedom from our Karmic treadmills, and Self-Love is available if we Choose it.

2 Responses to “Codependence”

  1. Eliza Ayres Says:

    Reblogged this on Blue Dragon Journal and commented:
    Boundaries are good. Learning to say, “No!” and mean it, is good. While here on this Earth, we’re not meant to blend into One, despite some of the teachings of the so-called New Age movement. To ascend, one must first attain self-mastery, which includes having a strong sense of Self… which doesn’t end at the skin but encompasses the multi-dimensional Self, as well. And yes, there is paradox involved when your consciousness begins to expand, but to function in the physical plane, you must also utilize boundaries.

  2. astrobuss Says:

    Thanks, Eliza! Love your Dragon post, https://bluedragonjournal.com/2014/09/13/eliza-on-dragons-and-other-doings/ !

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