Fear, Disconnection, Shame

Much Gratitude to a reader who has advised us that Attachment Parenting International has published an interview with Dr. Daniela Sieff on Fear, Disconnection, and Shame, at…

http://theattachedfamily.com/membersonly/?article=understanding-and-healing-emotional-trauma-interview-with-daniela-sieff-phd

Dr. Sieff calls the Lived Reality that results from literally Internalizing Childhood Trauma our “Trauma-World,” characterized by “Perceiving the World through a veil of Fear,” “Disconnecting from aspects of Ourself,” and  an “Identity that becomes interwoven with Shame.”  This Trauma-World is embedded in the “muscles, hormones, nervous system, and brain structure that underlie our Feelings and our ways of Perceiving and Engaging with the World.”  It Lives in our Cells.  In this article and in her book Understanding and Healing Emotional Trauma she nails much of what we usually refer to as Karmic Archetypes, Held Emotions, Abandoned Genius, Limiting Beliefs, and Self-Sabotage.

That’s the view from where we Are, looking backward.  There’s a good chance this view still holds homework for us.

The view looking forward is quite different…

http://suzanneliephd.blogspot.com/2017/05/threshold-to-fifth-dimensions.html

” ‘Where are you?’ you ask in a frustrated manner.  ‘If you are my fifth dimensional guide, why don’t I see you?’

“ ‘You cannot see me anymore than I can see you.  WE are ONE!  Can you see your heart beat?  Can you see your stomach digest, or your nervous system jumping from synapse to synapse?  I, your fifth dimensional self live within you.  In the same manner that I shine out from you.

“Take this sentence into your sleep.  Take this message into your daily life.  Take this message into your meditations and reflections.”

Time for more pirouettes.  Not really pirouettes, nor Semazen, but turning.  When you come out of a room and are about to turn right, instead stop, then turn in place counterclockwise (toward the left) three quarters of a full circle before you step forward.  To turn left, stop, then turn in place clockwise 270 Degrees before you step forward.  You’ll be just a tiny bit dizzy, not uncomfortable, but just a bit Detached from your usual “Reality.” 

When Pluto was in Scorpio, in the late 1980s and early 1990s, “The Way Out Was Through” – that is, we had to jump into the deep end of whatever we were Resisting.  From the mid-nineties to the mid-oughts, Pluto was in Sagittarius, and “The Way Out Was Through Letting Go.”  Now, until 2023, Pluto is in Capricorn – “The Way Out is to Just Do It.”  When we’re Stuck, sure, we’ll Need to go back and Retrieve the part of our Self that we Left Behind. 

Dan Scranton’s Channel today suggests…

“This is a moment for you to look at how far you’ve come, because the experience of your expansion depends upon your acknowledgement of yourself.  If you continue to see only the things that you need to work on, then you’re not going to enjoy the experience.  If you look for areas that need improvement because you think you must in order to make the shift, you’re not going to enjoy the experience.

“If instead you look at yourselves and you recognize how powerful the experience of awakening is, you will take yourselves to the next level joyously.  And this journey that you are on is all about finding the opportunities for joy within it.  It is inevitable that you will make the journey, but how you do it, whether you will go with ease and with joy in your hearts, or whether you struggle and strive and are hard on yourselves, these are the choices that are in front of you.

“Make the choice that supports what it is that you want to experience, both on the remainder of your journey here to the fifth dimension, and also, once you arrive.  Once you arrive, you will still have expanding to do.  So you might as well start enjoying this journey now.”

http://danielscranton.com/how-far-you-have-come-%e2%88%9ethe-9th-dimensional-arcturian-council/

Bottom line: as usual, it’s Both/And.

Red Rutile (Titanium Dioxide) Crystals clustered like a fasces, going Both ways on a Matrix of Muscovite (Sodium Aluminum Fluoride) Mica Books going every which way, pirouetting, as is their wont.  Muscovite invites your Higher Self to join “you,” while Rutile sharpens your Attention.

Nemesis Next II

A reader contributes a Dream…

“I was with my first lover (we had a very sweet relationship, but I got married to someone else and though we tried to keep our friendship, it went sour towards the end)… in the dream we held each other and it was very sweet and intimate and a feeling of pure joy and happiness being there in their arms.  And in my dream I said to my daughter… I have never loved anyone as much as I loved them… if my parents were not completely against me marrying them we would have been together.

“I don’t think I have any regrets of not marrying them… I would not have been where I am, and my parents may have been right as to stereotype what my life would have been like with them… but who can tell what anything coulda/woulda been right?”

Yes, Dreams, Vignettes, both often “Unbidden Intrusions,” as the OR10 Station may bring.  As Robert Moss points out in The Three Only Things, the dismissal of Dreams as “only a Dream” is a major mistake.  To many cultures, notably the First Peoples of Australia, “the Dreamtime” is very Real, often referred to as our access to the Fourth Dimension.  One of the more productive Perspectives is to regard Dreams as a visit to one of our own Parallel Lives.  One branch of Quantum Physics postulates Multiple Universes, and an interesting extrapolation is that every time we make a Decision, we split off into a Separate Universe, while our Previous Universe continues, carrying the consequences of the Opposite Decision.

So our reader could be visiting one of their own Alternate Universes, the one where they Decided to stay with their first lover.  Which raises a number of fascinating Possibilities, foremost of which is probably the notion of just hanging out in that Alternative Universe.  Yes, that would be a Fantasy – another of Robert’s Three Only Things.  Psychological health, as defined by the Pharmaceutical industry and its DSM5-toting sales force, requires a Dominating Ego that can consistently recite the Perspective of the Dominant Paradigm.

Which leaves all of our other Egos to play on their own without adult supervision, as long as we don’t get Confused about Who’s In Charge (Um, yes, first sign of Growth in Consciousness).  We can immediately see possible complications.  What about our reader’s current “Current-Lifetime” Lover?  Will they notice our reader’s relative Absence and find their Abandonment triggered?  (If Suffocation is their primary modus, they might be Relieved.)  Will our reader’s first lover have others competing for their Attention?  The Requirement (for respectable women anyway, if not for men with big hands or big heads) that Relationship be Dualistic is a strong Enforcer for the Dominant Paradigm.

Most folks have encountered John Sebastian’s dilemma in one form or another…

Which puts us squarely on the Edge of our Dualistic Worldview, the general observation that Both/And is Spiritual while Either/Or is Political.  Now everyone is Free to make their own Choices, no one is mandating that Both/And must rule in every part of everyone’s Life, and Preference trumps both Ambiguity and Judgment all day.  But when Fear is our Motive for Choosing Either/Or, we have a lot to gain by Confronting it.

So, looking beyond issues of Fidelity and Security and Preference (even though they’re major Guardians on the Threshold), how comfortable are we with the notion that Parallel Lives might be Intruding on our Monolithic Ego?  Well, one of our first Yes-Buts is that it’s really egotistical to think that a whole Parallel Universe can be spawned just because we made a Decision.  But Infinity is a Big Number.  And we’ve Opened several cans of Worms about whether We Are All One or Separate, not to mention the whole Fantasy of Linear Time.  If neither Time nor Separation are “Real,” them where does that leave our daily Priorities?  Suddenly we’re back to being Rats on a treadmill.  No offense to our long-suffering Rodent Friends.

So let’s leave the intellectualizations aside for a moment, and return to the “feeling of pure joy and happiness.”  Isn’t that what Self-Love and Enlightenment are all about?  No, of course, not exclusively, because to get to Real Self-Love and Enlightenment, don’t we have to Value all of our Emotions equally (even as we Prefer some more than others)?  Well, what if we did Value all of our Emotions equally.  Wouldn’t the Freedom from Held or Resisted or Denied Emotions itself engender a “feeling of pure joy and happiness.”  How would it Change our Lives and daily Priorities,  DSM-5 aside, if we went about our Life “lost” in pure joy and happiness? 

If we made a catalog of all the Yes-Buts triggered by that notion, and all the Changes that would be Required, we’d probably have a good start at a list of our Limiting and Self-Sabotaging Beliefs.  Maybe if we’re Brave enough we can gain from some variation on a PIAVA like “Nemesis, please Lovingly and Gently Remove the Limiting and Self-Sabotaging Beliefs that Most Prevent Me from Living in Pure Joy and Happiness Most of the Time.”  Ego Death requires Change, but it’s only Resistance that creates Pain.

The most Powerful way to Manifest anything is to spend time with the Feeling you will have in your Body when you have successfully Manifested it.  So the Gift of Pure Joy and Happiness, from whatever source, is Great Grace, no matter how we spin it.

Nemesis Next

Once we get past our 4 Pisces 30 May OR10 Station, our next hurdle is the Station of Nemesis on 3 June at 5 Aquarius, followed by a 14 Libra Jupiter Station on 9 June.  Slow-moving dwarf planet that it is (at 550 years, it takes OR10 almost twice as much time to do a full loop as Pluto, which laps in 250 years), I don’t expect much bleedthrough from lowly asteroid Nemesis (which whips around every four and a half years); OR10 and its Vignettes are more likely to dominate center stage.

Orbital speed cuts both ways.  The slower a planet moves, the less often we get to Experience its Dances.  With less Experience comes less Competence, and we’re more often caught off guard.  The essence of a newly discovered planet is that its Influence is Emerging from the undifferentiated Unconscious.  When something Emerges into Consciousness, it isn’t Discovered, it’s Differentiated.  It’s not like we’re just Discovering these Vignettes – I can’t step into the shower without encountering at least one “Random” Memory of some Shameful or Guilty or Regretted Experience or event, and it’s been that way as long as I can remember.

What’s new about these Vignettes in the Age of OR10 (which was Discovered a decade ago and is the third largest Plutoid – but which still lacks a name!) is the Recognition of the Opportunity these Vignettes give us to Reorganize our Identity.  Shame is one of the most Difficult Emotions to Love to Death, but that’s exactly what we have to do with it.  And, being one of the most Difficult, it’s one of the most Rewarding.  Recovering the Identities hidden beneath our Shame is phenomenally Liberating.  Loving our Guilt to Death can also be a Powerful antidote to Self-Sabotage.  Regret, having a poignancy of its own, is Easier to be Loving with, but it’s what we Regret that we have to Recover in order to step toward Wholeness.

Now whenever we Expand our Identity to include parts that previously hid behind Shame or Guilt or Regret or Fear or any other Held (Avoided) Emotion, an Ego Death is likely.  Anytime we change the list of adjectives that we use to describe ourself, and especially when we neuter a Judgment about ourself and move from a Duality to the Coin that includes both sides, we hatch a new Ego, which means molting the old one.  So (when we use it to reorganize our Identity rather than just gossiping with ourself) there’s a strong Connection between OR10 and Nemesis anyway, even when they aren’t simultaneously Strong.

Even if we assign only one Degree to the Sensitivity of a Station, the Nemesis Station would still Light Up two and a half weeks, as it slows to Stand Still (Nemesis, like most asteroids, averages about one Degree every four days).  So there’s no question that Nemesis really is Stationary even though it’s like trying to find Saturn in daylight; the influence of the far-rarer, less-familiar, and closer-to-its-Station (hence Stronger) OR10 will drown it out.  Asteroid Nemesis was Discovered 145 years ago, so we’ve had five generations to get familiar with Ego Death.

With OR10 much Stronger just now, why don’t we see if we can Expand our Identity without the Pain we usually associate with Ego Death.  Just to take a “random” example, one of my more recent Vignettes was about the Regret I felt about, some fifty or so years ago, not Feeling (Emotional) Love for a perfectly Beautiful and Gracious young potential partner who was hungry to be Loved.  Unless you’re fully into Yintegrity around Relationship, Emotional Love is supposed to be an Either/Or, and the alternatives are socially risky.  So how might I Expand my Identity around this Vignette?

My Regret was for an Opportunity Lost, not because I was Rejected, but because my Heart “forced” me to Reject.  The other person’s Pain was and is acute for me because it is my Pain.  As a Weirdo like many of us ( http://danielscranton.com/you-are-the-leaders-of-the-future-%e2%88%9ethe-9th-dimensional-arcturian-council/ ), Rejection was my bane too.  So it hurt, and still hurts, to Reject.  When I say to myself, “You poor Sweetheart, you really Wanted to be Loved, didn’t you,” there is a Softening in my chest and an Opening in part of my Heart, toward the back.  I can feel an energetic “muscle” between my navel and my neck (the Central Meridian perhaps) strengthening, and a whole panoply of seemingly unrelated thoughts and memories arise.  Which is just fine; we expect Paradox around Real Life.

On the other side of the coin, in another recent Vignette deriving from a few years later, a Perfectly Beautiful and Gracious potential partner who was firmly attached to someone else, showed me Exceptional Kindness, leaving me utterly Confused about how to Respond or show my Gratitude.  That Delicious Experience triggered my own Longing in a way that created Regret that I didn’t have that sort of Experience in my Life routinely.  When I try “You poor Sweetheart, you really Wanted to be Loved, didn’t you” on this Vignette, it Opens to a black space. 

When I try “You poor Sweetheart, you really Wanted to Possess Love, didn’t you,” my third Chakra softens into Sadness.  When I now try “You poor Sweetheart, you’re really Sad about your Isolation, aren’t you,” my Yes-Buts arise – “You can’t do Either/Or, it doesn’t work” says a disembodied telepathic “voice.”  When I then try – after a couple of false starts that don’t lead to Satisfying places – a Theta Healing,

“God/Goddess, Creator of All That Is, I Command that I Accept this Paradox and Let Go of All Anxiety around it;
Thank you, God/Goddess, It Is Done, It Is Done, It Is Done;
Show me,”

I’m left in a space that’s very Neutral, and my chest is pleasantly Expanded.

Okay, so we seem to have Expanded our Consciousness (while seeming to Silence some intellectual Noise) without having to Endure any grueling Ego Deaths.  Nemesis is not inherently about Pain.  It’s our Resistance to Change that creates Pain.  The Ego by its nature is Tenacious, and that’s a good thing.  We need to Negotiate Win-Win with it and with the Unconscious that runs the Show most of the time.  Michael Roads has some nice ideas for us (Through the Eyes of Love: Book Three, pp.176-7)…

“If, living in New York City, you decide to fly to Sydney, Australia, you are not going to just wander into the airport and get on the first plane going anywhere.  You are going to determine your destination and buy tickets accordingly, making sure you get on the correct aircraft.

“On that basis, if, when you wake up in the morning, you get out of bed and mindlessly go about your day … as you have every other day … it is going to be a day, a year, a life of endless repeats of all your yesterdays.  Literally, lifetimes of repetitions.

“If, however, you wake up in the morning, and placing your hands over your heart, you murmur, ‘Today, I choose Love.  Today, I am going to focus on loving myself, on loving other people, and loving my life.’  This is a prime, life-changing choice.  With this beginning to your day, you consciously revisit that choice, living it, feeling it, and reaffirming it as often as you can throughout the day.”

“It has to be a conscious choice.  Conscious choices are rare.  Most choices are subconscious, following an already predetermined pattern of which most people are unaware [which is ‘fate’].  So, another morning, hand over heart, ‘Today I choose appreciation.  Today I will appreciate myself, other people, and my life.’  Choices like this are life-changing.

“Another day, ‘Today I choose respect.  Today I am going to respect myself, other people, and my life.  And so on.  Day-after-day you make the choices that remodel and renovate your life.  But, it all has to be conscious choices, and those choices must be consciously lived.”

Those Vignettes Again

Yes, all those Vignettes that keep popping up unbidden, those are exactly what we need to lean into, in order to Allow the Karmic Archetypes embedded in them to slide off into the Compost bin.  All those moments of Shame or Guilt, or Regret over Lost Opportunities, those are all big compass needles that point to True North, to our True Self.  Shame and Guilt are what we Feel when we Let Ourself Be Our True Self, but we’re under Threat of Punishment if we Let Those Parts of Ourself Out to Play with Others.  We Regret because our True Self Wanted Something, but Our Programming Wouldn’t Let Us Take It.

Anarchy, you say?  No, just Honesty.  Cultures are defined by what parts of Honesty aren’t Allowed.  It’s not as Easy as just switching Cultures (though it’s certainly worth a try) because we came into the Lifetime with the Mission of Letting Go of those Limitations Once And For All.  That’s why we keep encountering them, because we want a lot of Practice with them.  How can we develop New Habits without many Opportunities to Practice.  Of course at some point we have to start Practicing the New Habit, rather than just Living our Inhibitions, but that’s what these Vignettes are all about.

So on 30 May (3:10 am PDT), dwarf planet “2007 OR10,” which we usually just call OR10, Stands Still, meaning it’s at its Strongest.  And that means its influence is Strong now, and will continue to get Stronger till 30 May.  And what is OR10 about?  Unbidden Memories, chips of Detritus floating out of the Unconscious and into our Awareness.  The other Players in this dance…

• Dwarf planet Orcus (Making and Breaking Oaths) and asteroid Karma (Habituation and Inertia) Oppose the OR10 Station, defining the Dualities confronting us as our Attachment to Vows we made in Past or Parallel Lives
  
• Dwarf planet Hylonome (Letting Go of Karmic Archetypes) Trine-Bridges that Opposition, indicating the “Easy Way Out” of the Dualistic issues – the Judgments that part of our Self is Good and part of our Self is Otherwise
• Asteroid Nemesis (Ego Death), Quincunx-Bridging the Opposition, informing us that if we start to get hooked on the Shame or Guilt or Regret or any other Negativity, we need to remember that Egos are easily replaced, we do it all the time, and Wonder how this next Ego Death will improve our Future, instead of Losing our Bearings in the Illusion of Death-Fear
  

What a “Coincidence” that this is coming up when all those Yin Gates are pointing us in the same direction.

There is a fly in the ointment.  What if the Behavior that you’re Ashamed of or Guilty about or that you Regret, is really an Archetype?  Not your True Self at all, but an Ancient Karmic Habit.  Well, you don’t Clear Archetypes by Repressing them; that just gives them more Power Over you.  It’s ABC – Awareness, Breathe, Choose  (Dr. Kim) – that Changes Patterns, or, as we would say, NPSCS – Notice, Poor-Sweetheart, Change the Subject (just kidding about the acronym; at least PIAVA has vowels in it). 

After all, how do we know that Enlightenment/Ascension isn’t an Archetype?  We’re all just Nested Russian Dolls; where does it end, if it does?  Well, Less Self-Sabotage is probably a good roadsign, if we’re moving in the direction of What We Want – and What We Want Changes as we move toward it.  If What We Want is forever out of reach, it’s probably a good idea to Ask ourself if we’re under the spell of an Archetype that causes us to Believe That We Can’t Have What We Want, maybe exploring Gratitude along the way.  The only Absolute is vodka; otherwise it’s all Both/And.  Duality, after all (along with Cause and Effect, Linear Time, and Separation), is a very deep-seated Archetype.

Have a peek at yesterday’s comments from Dan & the Arcturians…

http://danielscranton.com/you-are-the-leaders-of-the-future-%e2%88%9ethe-9th-dimensional-arcturian-council/

“In the breaking free from societal norms, you put yourselves on a different frequency, a different wavelength, than the majority of the people on planet Earth.  This difference means that you all are creating a new standard, a new normal.  You’re not here to change the current systems or to change society.  You are here to create something new and in so doing you often feel like the weird ones, the outcasts.

“You feel that you do not fit in or that you cannot hold a typical conversation with a person who fits in nicely with the way society wants that person to be.  When you believe in extra-terrestrials, channeling, dimensions, parallel universes, angels, faeries, and all sorts of other things, you are creating the experience of not only being separate, but also not being included.

“This can be a lonely path that you have all chosen for yourselves, but it is the path that you are on now and you cannot help but to believe in what you believe.  You cannot make yourselves fit in to a society that does not acknowledge the things that you talk about as though they were commonplace.  Wanting to fit in is a normal and natural desire.  Wanting other people to get you, and to validate you, and to be able to relate to you is an innate tendency that you are born with.

“Staying on your path in spite of the fact that you don’t fit in and that other people don’t get you will have its rewards.  You, the weird ones and the outcasts, will be the leaders in the future.  You will be the ones who can explain what is happening to everyone else.  You will have an opportunity to provide guidance and support to those who are struggling with adjusting to the new normal, the normal that you accepted a long time ago.

“Bridging your reality to the reality of the majority of civilization is a task that you signed up for, but don’t expect them to come to you.  You will be the ones who extend out your hands to help, and to serve, and to bring everyone into the fold of the fifth dimension.”

Purgative New Moon II

Here’s another relevant Stone, Tremolite, a Crystalline form of Jade, a Calcium Magnesium Chain Silicate…

It can move you “into consciousness of the next dimension… and stimulate creativity and imagination after periods of grief and loss,” says Marquist (p.153).  If you blow it up and stare at it (http://www.jbuss.com/jbl4h/tremolite1.htm), it looks like an Old Soul and a Record Keeper. 

Makemake was a god-figure among the Rapa Nui of Easter Island, credited with saving them from extinction by teaching them how to Survive without Trees.  The connection between the name and Making is a “Coincidence,” but the Makemake discovery chart exudes Manifestation.  Makemake joins Nemesis and the New Moon to make a Grand Trine, the symbol of “Dumb-Luck” Grace created when three planets are equally spaced around the Zodiac.

The idea of “Creating Our Own Reality” is heresy to our Victim, “New Age Guilt” to our Blame, and anathema to religions and philosophies that refuse to give Power to the Individual.  And it’s a little off base.  “Taking Responsibility for What We’re Manifesting” or “Being Response-Able to Our Circumstances” is a more accurate description of the process of Owning One’s Own Power-With.  We tend to think first of Power-Over because Power-Over is the law of the land in the Colonial Patriarchy.

Nemesis, recall, is one end of the Yin Gate or Paradox School in the New Moon chart (see previous post).  This is a huge Blessing, as most of us don’t greatly relish most Ego Deaths, and the Grand Trine (the big blue triangle in the graphic below) will make them much Easier.  And if you know the geometry, you’ll know that, since it Opposes Nemesis, Vesta is at the top of a Kite formation (the smaller blue triangle sitting on the left side of the Grand Trine, giving both together the shape of a kite)…

This Channels the Energy – Grace – of the Grand Trine into our Unconscious Beliefs, which should make it much Easier to melt any Self-Sabotaging Beliefs that are Limiting us.

Notice also that Makemake makes a T-Square (red triangle) across the Opposition from Veritas (Truth) to Hylonome (Letting Go of Control by Archetypes), Challenging us to do exactly that – Let Go of Limits to our Conscious Growth, Limits to our Ability to Manifest exactly What We Want.

So, how exactly do we do that?  Dan Scranton has been telling us to just “Raise our Vibration.”  Okay, so how do we do that?  Well, I can think of a number of ways to attempt it…

• Closing your eyelids while rolling your eyes up, for instance
  
• Grounding yourself (Imagining Energy moving down your spine, and from there into the center of the Earth if you still feel jangly or Ungrounded), then Focusing your Attention into the center of your Chest
  
• Sit in a quiet place with your back to a Tree, or even just lay on the Ground in a Grove for a half hour or so
• Examine your thoughts for Judgments, and deliberately Choose Cuiosity instead
• Forgiveness
• Lovingly Embrace yourself exactly where you are, letting it be a lunch stop on your route, rather than an undesirable destination
• Focus on what portions of your Wants you’ve already Manifested, rather than Focusing on What you haven’t Manifested yet; you may Want A+B+C (eg maybe Security+Freedom+Abundance), and have actually already Created A, B, C, and A+C, you just haven’t Created A+B, B+C, and A+B+C yet – now you know where your homework lies
  
• Gratitude
  
• Let your thoughts or Identity float into the space above your Head, above the roof even, and from there spread out and continue Expanding
• PIAVA What You Want (especially after you’ve Expanded your thoughts or Identity)
  
• Intention
• Theta Healing (https://astrobuss.wordpress.com/category/manifestation/piava/theta/), where you can see or Feel the likely results, adjust, and iterate
• Stop with the “I can’t”
• Shift from “Yes But…” to “Yes And…”
• Read a chapter in Dr. Kim’s Mind-Body Handbook
• Let yourself Daydream

There Must Be Fifty Ways to Leave A Low Vibration, as Paul Simon might say.  Have a look at this…

http://www.inspireactachieve.com/consciousness/mayan-calendar-expert-may-24th-2017-significant/

Maybe today’s Energy is pretty Blessed all on its own, and all we need to do is Surrender into it.  Take a nap and let it infuse us.  I Wonder if thee’s any connection between this Ninth Wave and the Ninth Harmonic.  Any Ninth Harmonic Angles in the New Moon chart?  Well, yes, turns out there are many…

And we’ve only drawn the ones that congregate into a big Configuration; we’d have to call it a Novile Bowl.  There are also many others, just not as coherently related to one another, although there is an additional Novile Yod pointing at Ceres (Sustainability) from the Novile between Sappho (Self-Love) and Pholus-Quaoar (Response-Ability re Survival).  The Ninth Harmonic is about Introversion, Self-Reflection.  The planets in the big Bowl are…

• The New Moon (5 Gemini is about A movement toward Revolution)
• Uranus-Eris (Outing Denial of One’s True Self)
• Neptune-Lachesis (Limiting Cultural Approval)
• Nemesis (Ego Death)
• Saturn-Ixion (Urgency in Recovery of Our Hidden Genius)
• Klotho (Emergence of a New Timeline)

That seems like fertile ground for a Long Meditation!

Purgative New Moon

One of my favorite Crystals, Scheelite, spawn of Calcium and Tungsten…

Tungsten is heavy, ~85% as heavy as Lead, and this Stone has heft to it.  From Collen Marquist (p.133), “ability to infiltrate a lie or obfuscation… to determine if someone is dishonest with you, and to delve into personal issues of denial and falsehood… brave like a scout and will provide courage to those who are intimidated by a falsehood… activates the third and second chakras to empower the gut to not only sense danger, but to do something about it.”

Which is the Main Effect of the 25 May (1pm PDT in 5 Gemini) New Moon.  An excellent way to approach it would be to ask yourself, “What is my Nemesis?” or “What am I most frightened of?”  There’s a good chance that some of these issues may be up in your Life this week anyway.  Fear of Loss, Fear of Change, Fear of Risk, Fear of Failure, Fear of Self.  Your “Higher Self” does know exactly what it’s doing.  But do we Trust it?  Doubt is one thing we might be able to Clear Away this week, if we’re Honest with ourself about what we Fear and what Limits us.

The two Archetypes most emphasized at this New Moon (which means they’ll be Lit Up for several weeks thereafter) are Nemesis and Vesta. 

Nemesis Punishes Hubris.  Hubris needs two components – Self-Confidence, and Illusion; we’re Confident that we can Live a Lie (whether we know it’s a Lie or not).  It’s kind of the inverse of “Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway.”  We’ve been told all our Life (and many before that) that we have to be this and do that or we won’t Survive.  In our Obedient phases, we tried, and if being and doing this or that wasn’t compatible with our Soul or our Mission, of course we Doubted ourself, and probably developed the Habit of Doubting ourself.  In our Rebellious phases, we may have been or done things that our Obedient Self still Regrets or Feels Guilty about, and we may have developed those Habits too.

Since acculturation is pretty much one-size-fits-all (and if you were that “size” you wouldn’t be reading this) we spend much of our time adrift in this Doubt, Regret, Guilt, and Fear – likely with Anxiety for frosting.  And that won’t Change until we develop the Habit of Noticing that we’re Feeling Doubt, Regret, Guilt, Fear, Anxiety, or All of the Above, and then Acting to Shift it.  Dr. Kim suggests that Breathing is very useful when we Notice these things, and I agree.  Personally, what I find effective, is Poor-Sweethearting, but you knew that…

• “You Poor Sweetheart, You’re Feeling Doubt, aren’t you.”
• “You Poor Sweetheart, You’re Feeling Regret, aren’t you.”
• “You Poor Sweetheart, You’re Feeling Guilt, aren’t you.”
• “You Poor Sweetheart, You’re Feeling Scared, aren’t you.”
• “You Poor Sweetheart, You’re Feeling Anxious, aren’t you.”

Tapping (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QzVd6Ww0as4) can also help Ground a heavy dose of Emotions – when you’re Shaking Inside, for instance. 

Vesta – Hestia in Greece – was Goddess of the Hearth: Food, Family, Friends, winter Warmth, Mom, Nature and Nurture both.  The Greeks toasted Hestia before they toasted Zeus, and they toasted Hestia after they toasted Zeus.  Yes, Celebrate the Big Honcho, but better keep your Real Bets hedged while you’re at it.  The Romans thought that this was such a good idea that they made Vesta the Goddess of the State.

So in the Western Psyche, Vesta represents the Centerpoint of our Survival.  Being Separated from Vesta is like being Banished from our Tribe; we’re back to eating Bugs and Leaves (and in the winter sucking Bark), struggling to keep warm and dry, and in grave danger of becoming someone else’s lunch. 

While Nemesis symbolizes Judgment of our Nonconformity, Vesta stands for what we (would) gain by Conforming, aka what we Fear of Losing if we drop the Lies.  Since most of our acculturation was lavished upon us before we “knew better” than to be Discerning, much of it is (purposely) Unconscious.  And since these things are so closely associated with Survival and Fear, we develop big Ego Attachments to the “rules” which we most Fear, that will keep us from getting Banished.

So we interpret Nemesis as Ego Death (if you do that it – or they – will kill you!), and Vesta as our Unconscious Beliefs, particularly our Unconscious Limiting Beliefs.  This week is primarily about the Paradoxical Relationships between Unconscious Beliefs and Ego Death.  To Let Go of our Self-Sabotaging Limiting Beliefs (such as We Can’t Have What We Want, Money Doesn’t Grow on Trees, Good Girls Don’t Do That, etc, etc) usually requires an Ego Death.  So far that doesn’t seem so Paradoxical.  So watch for things that don’t make sense this week – those will be the clues that lead us to What We Need to Let Go Of.

The New Moon is T-Square (Mastery through Challenge) to the Opposition between Orcus (Oaths and Vows) and asteroid Karma (Habits) on the left, and Nessus (Abuse) and 2007 OR10 (Unbidden Memories) on the right.  That Opposition is one of two in a Golden Rectangle (the blue box); the other is between Veritas (Truth) and Hylonome (Prying Ourselves Free from an Archetype).  Splitting the Golden Rectangle is the Vesta-Nemesis Opposition Yin Gate. 

All this happens between 4 and 8 Degrees; the Yin Gate in the Fixed Signs, the Golden Rectangle in the Magnetic Signs, and the T-Square in the Mutable Signs – but it’ll pretty much Light Up anything you have in 4-8 Degrees of any Sign.  Whatever planets and Angles you have in that zone will likely provide clues to which Archetypes you may be blowing away this week.  In 4-8 Degrees of any Sign we’re basically Letting Go of our Original Plan for whatever it is we’re Creating.  Not Letting Go of what we’re Creating, but Letting Go of preconceptions about it, so we can Let It Flow of its own accord, without our pushing and shoving it into molds in doesn’t fit well in, while Learning to Trust.

Kind of like this…

http://danielscranton.com/the-gentle-nudgings-%e2%88%9ethe-9th-dimensional-arcturian-council/

Orcus and Hopi IV

A reader notes…

“It’s the Ixion-Chaos Axis that the Hopi Station T-Squares.  The first thing that tells us is that We Need to Immediately Forgive the Perps Who Suppressed our Genius.  We cannot maintain Respect for All Things if we harbor resentment toward our Programmers, and Respect for All Things is precisely the Challenge that here haunts the Recovery of our Genius.

“As we Strive to Immediately Forgive the Purps, we want to remember that Forgiving does not mean ‘making up.’  Forgiveness is about Letting Go of our Internal Stress, not about Loosening Boundaries.  As we’ve said many times, Forgiveness isn’t a Decision, it’s a Discovery – one day we wake up and Discover -“ Lo, We aren’t Angry about that any more!  Just because Forgiveness isn’t a Decision, though, doesn’t mean it can’t be an Intention.

“And Forgiveness doesn’t mean we discard the Lesson that we aren’t Safe being Vulnerable around those folks or in those circumstances; it just means that we don’t have to constantly remind ourselves how Angry we are in order to Keep ourself Safe.  We’ve Forgiven ourself for being so inappropriately Vulnerable.  It means we now have a new Habit of routinely Keeping ourself Safe in similar circumstances – we’ve Expanded our Consciousness and Let Go of an Archetype that compelled us to Abandon ourself and Give Away our Power.”

“I had a dream last night…

“Walking with a big but light suitcase.  A relative, who touched me inappropriately when I was 11, is leading the way, we go up some outdoor stairs that are covered.  The relative takes the suitcase from me.  We reach upstairs into a bright room, but the relative has lost their shoes.

“I woke up and realized although I had thought I had let it go, it was still something I did think about…  And realized my dream said I can let it go, the staircase although outside was enclosed like it had no light…  Walking up was like walking into the light, my relative taking the suitcase was letting go the baggage, and their losing their shoes was like something was taken from them in life that caused them pain and inconvenience. 

“Then I read your post and realized how relevant my dream was to this.”

The key here is “…I can Let It Go…”  Traumas never leave us completely, because “we” (on the Soul level) “signed up” (if “we” indeed Choose to Take Full Response-Ability) for them so we could Experience them, and the PTSD (in the beginning) and Trace (once we’ve Let Go of the Emotional Load around them) are the equivalent of our Degree, gathering dust up in a frame on the wall.

Even in the most Powerful of Gary Craig’s Letting-Go-of-PTSD videos, the process takes many Tapping iterations; the path from PTSD to Trace is gradual, each step Letting Go of another layer of Held Emotions.  Consider that we may well have repeated the Trauma in various forms thousands of times over various Lifetimes, as we Explored variations, Left Karmic Reminders for ourself, recruited several of our Twigmates to Act out the different roles in our Drama, and swapped roles and genders.  Archetypes are not simple or one-dimensional, or we would have penetrated their Mystery long ago.

Current-Life “Operational” Identities are very useful.  If you Identify yourself as an astrologer, it makes doing astrology easier, because you aren’t always struggling against “yourself” to do it.  If you Identify with “Science” (as it’s generally practiced, where you get nowhere without a pat on the head from your senior “peers”), you’ll have a hard time doing astrology, because you won’t have access to the Associative Skills that it requires. 

But there’s nothing wrong with Identifying yourself as an astrologer on Tuesday and as a peer-reviewed Scientist on Wednesday, just as you might Identify yourself as an employee at 11am and as a parent at 8pm.  You probably either practice multiple Identities, or struggle with them, frequently, as for instance when you get a call at work from your child’s school, or when your political party asks you to Deny Climate Change but you can see it all around you plain as day.

Well, it’s no harder to Identify with a Parallel Life – I’ll wager you actually do it every day.  I’ve a friend who just returned from Italy and sent pictures, and a couple of times I caught myself staring at a building or a village in one of the pictures and spontaneously Imagining I was Living there.  Every time you get Spaced Out for a few minutes you could well be Experiencing a Parallel.  Remember that Time is an Illusion; those few seconds could be a long time in that other place.  Then there are Dreams.

Okay, now that you realize that you know how to manage multiple Identities sequentially and simultaneously, why not check in with the MC of the whole show, your Soul Self.  Give it a PIAVA; I’ll wager you’ll be surprised at what happens.

Orcus and Hopi III

The third Yin Gate in our sequential Orcus and Hopi Stations this weekemd is in the Hopi Station chart.  Of course the two charts are only a day apart, so the only planet that’s moved more than a Degree is the Moon.  Here’s what the Hopi-Station Yin Gate looks like…

The Central Axis is our old friend Sappho-Sedna – Finding Self-Love by Facing our Fear, Breathing into It, Tapping It Out, and Kegeling it into Submission.  It’s a Yin Gate though, so expect Paradoxes around that theme.  The enclosing Golden Rectangle is also very familiar – Rebirth of our Yintegrity (Haumea Opposite Uranus-Eris) on one diagonal, and Opening the Door to Limitlessness by Recovering our Abandoned Genius (Ixion Opposite Chaos, with Ixion joined by Most-Important-Thing Saturn, and Chaos joined by Truth-Aletheia and Action-Mars) on the other.

It’s the Ixion-Chaos (or Ixion/Saturn-Chaos/Mars/Aletheia) Axis that the Hopi Station T-Squares.  The first thing that tells us is that We Need to Immediately Forgive the Perps Who Suppressed our Genius.  We cannot maintain Respect for All Things if we harbor resentment toward our Programmers, and Respect for All Things is precisely the Challenge that here haunts the Recovery of our Genius.

I was tickled recently when, getting my computer upgraded at the Mac Store (which upgrade allows us pictures again), the person at the “Genius Bar” who was helping me told a story about “before I became a Genius.”  For most of us, though, seeking employment with Apple would probably not quality as “Recovering our Forbidden Genius.”

As we Strive to Immediately Forgive the Purps, we want to remember that Forgiving does not mean “making up.”  Forgiveness is about Letting Go of our Internal Stress, not about Loosening Boundaries.  As we’ve said many times, Forgiveness isn’t a Decision, it’s a Discovery – one day we wake up and Discover – Lo, We aren’t Angry about that any more!  Just because Forgiveness isn’t a Decision, though, doesn’t mean it can’t be an Intention.

And Forgiveness doesn’t mean we discard the Lesson that we aren’t Safe being Vulnerable around those folks or in those circumstances; it just means that we don’t have to constantly remind ourselves how Angry we are in order to Keep ourself Safe.  We’ve Forgiven ourself for being so inappropriately Vulnerable.  It means we now have a new Habit of routinely Keeping ourself Safe in similar circumstances – we’ve Expanded our Consciousness and Let Go of an Archetype that compelled us to Abandon ourself and Give Away our Power. 

Now, you may not have noticed that the two Stations are half a Sign distant from one another.  So what?  That would be the 24th Harmonic, and the Major Arcana stops at 21.  But both Stations occupy Degrees that hold many other planets.  That means that there could be planets in one of the charts that are four and a half Signs – a Trioctile – from a planet in the other chart.  A Trioctile’s primary claim to fame is that, if it’s joined by a second Trioctile, it forms a Mjolnir, signifying Epiphany.  Do any of those occur in this weekend’s charts?

Six of them!  A Mjolnir is formed when a third planet sits at the far Midpoint between two planets that are Square to one another.  Here they are, in purple…

The Mjolnir will Open us to Healing Insights around the Challenges represented by the Square in it’s base.  The six Mjolnirs are…

• The Hopi Station on the Square from Mercury to Nemesis: Rather than trying to Understand what your Ego Deaths are about, just Focus your Attention on Forgiveness toward anyone who has insulted you, remembering what we said above about Forgiveness.  We can Respect someone without making ourself Vulnerable to them in circumstances where we aren’t Safe.

• Haumea on the Square from Nessus to Ceres-Mnemosyne: Epiphanies around Past and Current situations of Power-Over, where we may be on either the Privileged or the Abused side of the Equation.  Giving up Inappropriate Vulnerability, Replacing Victimhood with Consciousness of our own Vulnerability and Habits of Self-Protection.  Learning about Power-With.
  

• Ixion-Saturn on the Square between Mercury and Vesta: Insight into the Limiting Beliefs which Correlate with the Repression of our Hidden Genius, and the Realization that we have the Power to Change our own Limiting Beliefs once we bring them into Consciousness.  At one point we were Victim to Repressions where we lacked Power; Now we have the Power to turn this around, because the Perp is now our own Limiting Belief, a vestige of the Repressive events.
  

• Nemesis on the Square from Hopi to Chaos-Mars-Aletheia: Easy Ego Deaths, so Easy we probably won’t recognize them as that, because we won’t feel Tortured.  Seeing the Truth of how it’s our own Actions that Limit our Ability and Willingness to Collaborate in Win-Win situations with Talented People.
  

• Uranus-Eris on the Lilith to Orcus-Karma Square: Epiphanies about the Relationship between our obsolete Oaths and our Self-Sovereignty.  You may have had no Choice but to Obey in the fourteenth century, but that was then and this is Now.  Once you connect the Oath and the Self-Sabotage, you can Dance into the sort of Self-Love and Self-Confidence that will make others want to help Co-Create your Dreams with theirs.

• Mercury on the Hopi to Ixion-Saturn Square: The Realization that Respect for All Things includes Respect for Ourself and All of Ourself, especially including the Selves we’ve always Wanted to Be and Wished We Were – that is, our Forbidden Genius.  Thinking back over your Life, you Discover the Daydreams that you’ve always had, and Realize that only your Limiting Beliefs hold you back, and that you can Intend to Change those in an Instant.

Orcus and Hopi II

This cute puppy is a cluster of Neptunite Crystals (the black ones and the red residue left when they break off – the black is from Iron, and the red from Manganese; Neptunite also contains Potassium, Sodium, Lithium, Titanium, Silicon, and of course Oxygen).

My favorite – because its Interpretations closely match my Experience, unlike most others – Crystal book says that Neptunite allows “group dynamics to be maintained without a disciplined structure” and allows “individuals to orient to the broader community vision” while promoting “voluntary contribution … with a free and open willingness”(Collen Marquist and Jack Frasl, Crystalline Communion 2000 , p.104).  She continues…

“One can recognize the inherent demand of the activity, but it is raised to a vibration of service and contribution rather than enslavement and demand.  It promotes circular sharing of power within a group rather than hierarchical structure.  Where cooperation is required, Neptunite reaches out to create a community allegiance, and allows individuals to highlight the aspects of group intuition.  This can lead to a prophetic ability in describing the destiny of a culture or group, and allows the individual to play an important role.”

An alternative to the Oaths and Commitments that leave a Karmic trace in our crypt of Unconscious Limiting Beliefs, in other words.  Collen’s words closely match what Genia Haddon Pauli (in Body Metaphors for instance) says about the Yang Female which she proposes is in the process of supplanting the Patriarchy.

The “loudest” Configuration in the Orcus Station chart is a combination of a Grand Cross (Strong Motivation, and Skill at Multitasking) and an almost-Grand Sextile (Great Grace).  Strong Motivation and Great Grace in combination are widely considered to be “the best kind of chart” (from the Productivity Perspective) because the Motivation prevents disengagement while the Grace prevents Frustration…

The other terms in the Grand Cross, besides Orcus and its sidekick asteroid Karma, are Nessus (Abuse and Privilege), Lilith (Self-Sovereignty), and Ceres-Mnemosyne (Remembering Sustainability).  We’ve already talked about the Lilith-Ceres/Mnemosyne Opposition, which leaves Orcus-Karma Opposite Nessus.  Well, many of our Oaths, probably including our most ancient Karmic Oaths, were made to escape Abuse or preserve Privilege, so we can expect some fairly nasty Recollections to surface from other Lifetimes, and from their early-Childhood refractions.

There are a number of plausible Perspectives that connect Past-Life Karma and Current-Lifetime Experience. 

• One is that our Soul’s Urge to Heal brings these up so we can Embrace them and Let Them Go. 
• Forget the Perspective of Retribution; it’s Self-Abusive.  Once you remove the Dualistic Either/Or Judgment from Abuse and Privilege, Perp and Victim are really just different sides of the same Coin.  If you have a strong reaction to this Perspective, first Tap Out your immediate Emotional Load, then extend your arms, palms up, to each side.  Put your personal or vicarious Victim Experience in one palm and your personal or vicarious Perp Experience in the other.  Close your eyes and very slowly bring your hands together while Paying Attention to what happens in your Body.
  
• Another Perspective is that we as Souls choose what Issue we Choose to help Clear in an Earthy Lifetime, then before we take birth we spend time in a Simulator to indoctrinate our Huper Form with the Emotions of the Issue.  Once we’re born, we’re engaged with the Issue.
  
• By now you’re probably familiar with the Inertia Perspective, where we can be trapped by the Power of Habits making nests for themselves in the Unconscious.  Noticing, Embracing, and Building replacements is a primary strategy for these Archetypes.

Remember though, All There Is Is Now.  All of those “Karmic” Adventures are just Dances Being Performed by other parts of your Extended Self, Now.  So all you have to do is move the Veil aside, and Stop Performing that Dance.  If you can shift your Assemblage Point to the multifarious Perspective of your Extended Self, that is.  And why not?  PIAVA it. 

Bottom line, We Can Expect to Be Working with our Demons this Weekend.  Consider it a Blessing, and Trust that Whatever Comes Up is Coming Up so you Can Let Go of It for All Time.

The Orcus/Karma-Nessus Opposition is also involved in the Grace-full Grand Sextile, we we won’t be “Alone” with our Demons, we’ll have Allies.  The other three corners of the almost-Grand Sextile are Mercury (Communication) and Hylonome-Veritas.  The latter is the central axis of the Yin Gate we spoke of in the previous post.  The most Powerful corner of an almost-Grand-Whatsit is the Vacancy, in this case 7 Scorpio, “Deep-sea divers: The will to explore the hidden depths of all experiences and to search for primordial causes,” though I’d be careful to measure “cause” by what makes the Heart Whole rather than what makes the mind go ding.

If you look at the lighter lines in the picture, you see the second Yin Gate in the Orcus Station chart.  The Central Axis of this one is an Opposition from Nemesis (Ego Death) to Vesta (Limiting Beliefs).  We also spoke about that Opposition in the previous post, as it was a diagonal in the first Yin Gate – it was one of very many indications pointing to a Likely Huge Flush of Limiting Beliefs Surfacing so We Can Let Them Go.  Notice that Mercury T-Squares the Central Axis; another warning to Avoid getting stuck in the Either/Or mind while we’re working with Multidimensional realms.

Orcus and Hopi I

Our next Adventure is the sequential Stations of dwarf planet Orcus (Oath-Making and -Breaking) and asteroid Hopi (Respect for All Things).  Both Stations occur just prior to 6am PST, Orcus on 21 May, and Hopi on 22 May.  This will be a particularly fascinating combination of Energies, because most of our Limiting Beliefs were founded by Oaths, Oaths always Power-Over one side or the other of some Duality, and Respect for All Things means the Absence of Judgment.

The result of the Merging of two such contrasting Energies will be laden with Paradox, and Paradox of the exact nature that Spiritual Progress is paved with.  Remember that limiting our Commitments as much as possible is a prerequisite to Yintegrity.  And to be Self-Sovereign, rather than Slaves to our Archetypes, we need to Renounce all of our Oaths.  Being thus Free, we’ll be able to follow our Instinct and Intuition without constraint.

You would think, for instance, that an Orcus-Hopi astroevent would simply be a great time to Swear to Respect All Things.  But that would Betray Respect for Ourself, as it would inhibit our Freedom to Follow our Instincts and Intuitions.  Paradox is not accessible by the logical mind. so we just have to Accept it as a Mystery.

Paradox, as we’ve said, is the realm of the Yin Gate Configuration, a Golden Rectangle bisected on the short side by a third Opposition.  By “coincidence,” there happen to be three Yin Gates in the Orcus and Hopi Station charts.  Here’s an example of one, in the Orcus Station chart…

The Orcus Station itself T-Squares (Mastery through Challenge) one axis of the Golden Rectangle (which is the blue box).  “Coincidentally,” the axis that it T-Squares is the axis between Lilith (Self-Sovereignty itself) on the right and a Conjunction of Ceres (Sustainability) and Mnemosyne (Memory) on the left.  The implication is that We Already Know How to Sustain Self-Sovereignty, all we have to do is Remember That We Know.

Another “coincidence” – one axis of each of the three Yin Gates is T-Squared by one of the Stationary planets.  Such redundancy convinces us that the Universe is serious about this message.

The Challenge is our accumulated Oaths, and the Archetypes we still cling too.  Remember that Karma is dead; our Karma does not CLING TO US, we CLING TO IT.  Are you about to do something that you’ve done before?  Do it differently.  I was about to go get a half-glass of Beer, so to break up the Pattern I’ll do a couple of pirouettes between here and refrigerator.  Not that a half-glass of Beer is a big Pattern of mine, but a trip to the refrigerator certainly is! 

Surprisingly and Remarkably, each pirouette produced a big surge of Joy.  I may adopt a new Pattern!  If you spot an old fart pirouetting down the road, say Hi.  Wait, that’s an Oath!  Revert!

The Opposition in the Yin Gate itself (the one in the center of the Golden Rectangle – I know, it’s both blue and Golden – blue because that’s how we draw Energy lines representing Grace, and Golden because the ratio of the sides is the Golden Ratio of Sacred Geometry fame) is between asteroid Veritas (Truth) and dwarf planet Hylonome (Letting Go of Archetypes) – yet another redundant repetition of our basic theme here, which is about Facing the Truth that Allowing ourself to be Directed by our Unconscious Patterns not only Inhibits our Spiritual Progress, it also generates a good deal of Self-Sabotage.  Pirouettes are in our Future whether by Oath or Instinct!

The other diagonal of this Golden Rectangle is an Opposition between asteroids Vesta (Unconscious Beliefs) and Nemesis (Ego Death).  Lordy Lordy, another redundant repetition!  Well, most of us will have Ego invested in our Unconscious Limiting Beliefs – that’s how we get them to stick.  Of course we all want to be good little girls and boys, and if Granny told us over and over again that good little girls and boys don’t do that, then there you have it – Ego Investment.  

So you remember how to do Ego Death, right?  You reinterpret “I’d rather DIE” to actually be “I’D rather die,” and them you just let it happen.  Egos are like Moles (the ones in your yard) – if you ever do succeed in killing one, another one will pop up to replace it before you can say “Hooray, I’m Freee at Last!”   Chagrin (or Terror) over Ego Death is totally wasted; new Egos are a dime a dozen.  When someone tells you they gave up their Ego when they were Enlightened, that’s their Ego talking. 

You Embrace Confusion as the First Stage of Growth in Consciousness, which heralds less Slavery to Archetypes and less Self-Sabotage (and another sign of Ego Death).  You might be driving or walking a few blocks from home, and suddenly realize that you’re in a very different World, even while you know exactly where you are.  You might suddenly forget all your passwords, or your spouse’s name, because without warning you’ve regressed to age 6 or 12 or 32 or Atlantis or the time you met Genghis Khan, when the Steppes were in bloom.

As with Curiosity, you want to Break all Habits (Oaths!) to try to Understand.  Trying to Understand means you’re scrambling back to your Olde Ego, and losing all the benefits of Psychic and Spiritual Growth.  Confusion and Curiosity are Beautiful just as they are, they aren’t problems to be solved or reasons to exercise that big glucose-burner in your skull.  They’re glorious states to relax into.  They will take you to Heaven if you let them.

This is only one part of the Orcus-Station chart; we’ll take up other parts in the next installment.  For now, notice that the Orcus Station happens to be Conjunct asteroid Karma – yet one more confirmation of our basic theme of Liberation.  The Initiation of Karma by Orcus already occurred, in mid-November of last year, at 10 Virgo, “”Two heads looking out and beyond the shadows: The growth of true understanding, born out of the transcendence of duality even while immersed in the world of duality.” 

The Validations just keep on coming!  The Karma-Orcus Exposition (Retrograde Conjunction) occurred in early March, and the Confidence-Builder (final crossing) will happen on 30 May.  By then we should be feeling pretty good about how much Karmic baggage we’ve been putting out on the curb for recycling.