Reader Eliza Ayres, author of https://bluedragonjournal.com/ , responds…
“This is a perfect description of events that took place in my own experience this past year. Fortunately, I saw through the abuse, realized that I needed to separate from the perceived abuser, work through the issues that I had reacted to (low-self esteem, financial insecurity, anxiety over an indeterminate “future” etc) and recognize that the only one I could work on was myself.
“So I did… and have emerged a new being, filled with a greater compassion, not only for myself but others. I have forgiven the abuser, but they are no longer a part of life, by mutual choice. I hope this article aids others to focus on self-healing and self-care so that they, too, can arrive at new understandings of the complicated release of old energies involves. This is not a case of the present being a continuation of past abuse; more it was time for me to clear the emotions that came up, which had been long suppressed.
“I could handle the situation now without coming to physical harm. The pain involved was not long-lived, at least on my side; I’m not responsible for how the other individual involved has handled anything that came up for them. Now when things come up in my life, I attempt to look at them from a more neutral point-of-view, so I can study the emotions and thoughts… allow them to move through without clinging to them and recreating pain long forgotten and dissolved. Thanks for writing this!”
“When you are able to begin to heal from abuse, which can also be self-abuse, you need to recognize that the abuser has been a teacher or mentor on your journey. They have aided in bringing to light that which needs to shift in your life, whether you need to embark on a physical healing regime, to release long-held emotions and thought patterns that no longer have any relevance in your current circumstances or to simply let go of anything and everything that is holding your ability to be happy, despite appearances.
“Being grateful, forgiving the abuser and learning from the experience, gaining good boundaries and re-discovering the beauty, grace and potential that exists within yourself will aid in healing old wounds, whether physical, mental or emotional or all three. It is a return to Wholeness which is required before one can fully embark or continue on their journey.”