That Big River in Egypt

Many thanks to a reader for asking the provocative question…

“Any way you could share what you yourself feel you need to let go of that you’ve been clinging to so I can see whether I’m on the right track?” 

Eris is about Denial – namely, that which has been pushed into the Unconscious in order not to Overwhelm Consciousness or shatter the Ego.  So as Uranus approaches Eris it’s not about “what we feel we need to let go of that we’ve been clinging to,” it’s about what we will discover in the way of unknown Beliefs, or long-standing Limits that we’ve misinterpreted as Irritations or social norms, and which are likely to come into Focus as Self-Sabotage.  These aren’t just the Masks we put on to meet others, but the Masks we wear to Protect our Ego from the sometimes-brutal Honesty of the Self.

Denial is a healthy process, helping to keeping the Ego functioning in order to keep the Vehicle Safe.  However, the Revelation of Denial, when it’s Gentle and Loving, is also a very healthy process – to everything there is a Season.  The theory, true or otherwise, is that when we persistently ignore Gentle and Loving hints about what’s being ignored, and the Soul feels that Expanded Consciousness has become more important than the Safety provided by the Denial, the Unconscious will resort to more serious tactics than the Gentle and Loving,

Note that when anyone else accuses you of being “in Denial,” it’s always a Manipulation, an attempt to Intimidate and Control you.  They know nothing about the relationship between your Soul and Ego, and never will.  A gifted Psychic may have some information about that, but no Psychic worth listening to would ever accuse anyone of being “in Denial.”  I know Gurus who use a shock method for communicating, but in my experience they’re shocking you into listening to the Inner Voices that you already know of, but which you’ve been discounting for years.  Taking “the answer you’ve already rejected” is a Gentle way of moving in that direction.

Our reader continues…

“Something came up yesterday where in retrospect I can see I felt a powerful need for attention or validation or appreciation or recognition, or something along those lines, from sources from which it’s just not going to come.  This theme is so ancient that it has become exhausting.  I felt sharp pain and anger for a brief moment, but recovered nicely, if not altogether tidily, and the moment passed pretty quickly, all things considered.  I’m left feeling a little…silly, infantile and embarrassed, though not really ashamed because I seem to have already forgiven myself for the temporary lapse in sanity.  Does that qualify?  And if so does it mean I need to provide those things for myself?”

There’s a strong correlation between our Masks and our unmet Childhood needs.  For instance, as a child many of us had “a powerful need for Attention or Validation or Appreciation or Recognition from a source from which it never came.”  So we put on a Mask that protected our Vulnerability to what we were inappropriately led to believe was a weakness.  We all need Attention or Validation or Appreciation or Recognition, and some sources are critical.  For instance, anyone who doesn’t expect that from a spouse or employer or friend is probably in an Abusive Relationship.  A Codependent Relationship is one where the Validation of the Other is more important to us than our own Values.

The part about “I’m left feeling a little…Silly, Infantile and Embarrassed, though not really Ashamed because I seem to have already forgiven myself for the temporary lapse in Sanity” needs to be reversed.  It was the feeling of  “Silly, Infantile and Embarrassed” (or Pain and Anger, as the case may be) that IS the Sanity.  Just not necessarily age-appropriate Sanity, although it would be perfectly age-appropriate in a close Relationship.  “Silly, Infantile and Embarrassed” and “Pain and Anger” were age-appropriate at the age when you were striving for Validation and learned that it was never to be forthcoming.  

It’s not the Emotions that are ever age-inappropriate, it’s their Expression.  When we regress to a Childhood circumstance, which you likely did, our Skillset regresses with us.  So we’re trying to deal with a Current-Moment situation with the Social Skills of a four-year-old or two-year-old, or sometimes even a preverbal child whose primary Social Skills are Awe and an obsession to hunt for Mirrors.  So of course we’re going to feel Silly, Infantile, and Embarrassed.  When we begin to Recover these Lost parts of our Self, we have to endure this for a while, as we give ourself the Space to Practice.  We come up to Current-Moment speed very quickly. however, once we can discern the difference between Present Moment and Regression.

The “brief” part of your Pain and Anger is important.  The faster we “correct,” edit, or Control our True Emotions, the deeper is our Unconscious Devotion to the Archetype (in this case, Vulnerability is Not Safe) rather than to the Self and Soul.  So all three of the “Pain and Anger,” the “Silly, Infantile and Embarrassed,” and the Judgment about “Lapse in Sanity” are doorways to whatever it is that you’re Masking from yourself.  You may already be well aware of it intellectually, but this is not an intellectual process, it’s a deep Emotional one.  To intellectually understand a chronic or acute Trauma is very useful for everyday Control, but it’s far different from the Re-Experience of the original Emotions which is necessary for Healing.

The Cultural idea that “Maturity” means having Control over your Emotions is part of the Patriarchical propaganda that we need to overcome.  “Maturity” certainly includes the ability to avoid Harm to Self and Other through Skillful Expression, but Emotions are the stock and trade of True Relationships, so Controlling them is a serious Self-Abandonment.  Exactly as the Patriarchy desires, because a Self-Abandoned Ego is easily Controlled from the outside.

Do note that the Re-Experience of the original Emotions need not be Re-Traumatizing, as has been shown by Gary Craig, David Feinstein, and Dawson Church in the case of Vietnam Veterans, and by the latter two in many international situations such as the Genocide in Bosnia.  Bessel van der Kolk’s amazing book, The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma very readably covers his journey from rookie to Master of these regions.  He believes that buried Trauma is the greatest danger facing Huperity today.  And I would agree that it’s buried Trauma – aka Limiting Beliefs – that create and perpetrate the other greatest dangers that the Planet faces.

Your Reaction to the Pain and Anger was immediately suppression – that is the sort of information that Eris is revealing to us.  The Goddesses who fought one another over Eris’s Golden Apple never realized that Eris was revealing their Vanity, nor did the Gods who presided name it, and the rest of Greek history reflects that lack of Consciousness.  The ending to that story can be attributed to the idea that Greek Mythology is the chronicle of the Patriarchy overcoming the Matriarchy – the Golden Apples story demeans women as irretrievably Devoted to the Archetype of Vanity, and the “superiority” of male Devotion to the Archetype of Warriorship in its defense.  Substitute Vanity for Vulnerability and Warriorship for Maskmaking, and Eris’s story is the same as yours.

You’ve “forgiven yourself” for the Silly, Infantile and Embarrassed.  And you refer to your True Emotions as a “temporary lapse in Sanity.”  More information gifted from Eris.  We’re speculating, as I have no business butting into the Relationship between your Ego and your Soul, but here are some possibilities…

You may have a Limiting Belief that your Childish Joy (Silly, Infantile, Embarrassed) is not valid.  If so, that would be likely to be a strong inhibition on your Spontaneity and Creativity.

You may have a Limiting Belief that Pain and Anger are not suitable for polite company.  If so, that could seriously inhibit your ability to rapidly and effectively set good Boundaries.

You may have a Limiting Belief that your True Emotions are not “Sane.”  If so, that would be a tight collar on your Relationships and your Ability to share your ample Wisdom to Lead others.

You can explore these doorways if you wish, by first making sure you’re Safe, and then recalling as best you can, in turn, the moment when you felt Infantile, the moment when you judged your feelings as not Sane, and the moment when you felt the Pain and Anger.  I’d recommend approaching each in its own session (repeated as useful).  Set a firm Anchor before you start – for instance, some incontrovertible evidence of your current age, so you can return at will to the Present Moment if you begin to get lost in the Past.  Carkeys in hand is a possibility.  Your objective for all three sessions is Wonder –

“I Wonder what if anything this has to do with Expanding my Consciousness to include the portions of my Soul that have been missing.”  Or – 

“I Wonder how this might translate into a Limiting Belief that sabotages my ability to Manifest my Heart’s Desire.”  Or even –

“I Wonder if I’m really Living my own Truth around these issues, and if not, how I might move Gently and Lovingly in that direction.”

Or something like these.  Your “sessions” could be as brief as that, if you then Changed the Subject and let your Intuition work on the question.  If Memories start to flow (the asteroid Mnemosyme – Memory – entered Aries a few days ago, and it won’t be far from the Eris-Uranus Initiation in early June), let them come, as long as you still feel Safe.  If you start to feel Unsafe, Revert to your Anchor, and resume later after you’ve Grounded yourself (Food often works).

Be Mindful of Conclusions; you want to Open windows, not close doors.  Remember that Confusion is good, as it indicates that the Consciousness-Expansion has begun.  You want small incremental Ahas, not big Decisions.  Suffix everything with “… or something like that.”  We have time yet, we don’t need to push ourselves, and this is very delicate territory, this Edge between Consciousness and the Unconscious.  

Besides Eris, the major planets dealing with this Edge include…

• Juno, whose modus operandi was to turn threats to her Ego into Stone
• Hylonome, who killed herself when confronted with alienation from her favorite Archetype
• Vesta, symbolizing (for good or ill – we’d be long lost without Habits!) Unquestioned Archetypes

Compared to these, Eris is a Gentle and Loving partner in our urgent need to escape from Archetypes which encode the End of Civilization.  It’s also useful to remember that the Eris-Uranus Initiation is occurring in Aries – that which hasn’t happened before, that which we’re beginning to Create from Scratch (out of Spirit actually), that which we will have no hope of actually understanding for a long time – probably till Uranus gets to its Waxing Square with Eris.  “Blown inward by the wind, the curtains of an open window take the shape of a cornucopia,” suggesting rich rewards for those willing to be Open to the inscrutable Winds of Spirit.

Your original question about “what I myself feel I need to let go of, that I’ve been clinging to”?  If I rephrase that as “where does Eris seem to be leading me next?” then I have no shortage of Stories, which I intend to tell.

Lifespan of an Ego

The big event here is a Retrograde Station of asteroid Lachesis (Lak’-e-sis) on 28 April.  The Mythological Lachesis was one of the three Fates, the one who measured the span of a Life.  I’m guessing you’ve recently been busy revising your estimates of how long you may Live.

In this Shadow Period (the span of a Retrogradation) between 22 Sagittarius and 4 Capricorn that lasts until early August, Lachesis backs over Quaoar (Law-Giver), Pholus (Responsibility), the Galactic Center (Headquarters) and Ixion (Abandoned Genius).  It’s already crossed them once, and it will cross them thrice before we’re done.  The first crossing is called a “Can-Opener” because it often opens a Can of Worms you hadn’t been thinking about.

• The Lachesis-Ixion Can-Opener occurred on 27 February.  We were probably looking at Limitations in our Lives and Wondering how to Overcome them.
• The Lachesis-Pholus Can-Opener happened on 11 March, and was probably about Realizations that we can no longer ignore certain Self-Sabotaging elements in our approach to Life.
• The Lachesis-Quaoar Can-Opener was 18 March.  That was probably about revising our estimations of how long we can Survive on this Planet – collectively and individually – without extreme Changes to our Lifestyle and to our basic attitude toward the Soul of the Planet,

Check your journals.  The involvement of the Galactic Center makes these reconsiderations a great deal more consequential than they otherwise would be.  This section of the Zodiac – the end of Sagittarius – has been lit up strongly for several years, and not by accident.  This is the Scorpio zone (“Duad” in astrologuese) of Sagittarius, and the message is very clearly

What is it that I need to Let Go of, but which I’m clinging to so tightly?

It’s past time, Change is afoot, and your old approach won’t work any more, no matter how well it’s served you over the years.  Ask yourself that question, and reconsider the answer you’ve already rejected.  Or, if that’s not clear as a bell, omit the question mark and make it a Wondering, surrendering the question to your Intuition.  That’s a better approach anyway.

The Bottom Line is that it IS possible for us to reboot our Civilizations.  But we have to Listen to what’s really going on instead of gripping our Denial, we need to be Proactive about the Changes we need to make, and we need to Respect one another’s Unique Contributions, Trusting that their Intuition is correct for them, no matter how dumb it looks to us.  We look just as dumb to them, and ALL Contributions are necessary.

We could easily encounter major Ego Deaths here.  Remember to translate “It feels like I’m DYING!” to  “It feels like I’M dying.”  We cannot differentiate between “us” and our Ego – Ego Are Us.  So of course an Ego Death feels like a Physical Death.  But you’ll have thousands of Ego Deaths for every Physical Death, and the faster you can recognize that happening, the sooner you can begin constructively building a new Ego.  They aren’t optional.

When we talk about Ego we aren’t talking about being Selfish or Self-Absorbed.  We’re talking about our basic Survival Instinct.  We need enough Selfishness and Self-Absorption to keep ourself Safe, and to make sure that we always see ourselves as Worthy of Safety and Survival.  Those are critical distinctions; whenever you sense any Unworthiness in yourself around Safety and Survival, it’s a red flag to get Selfish and Self-Absorbed.  It’s not optional.

Lachesis has been within one Degree of its Station – in other words, basically Standing Still and therefore Strong – since 10 April.  If you aren’t a different person now than you were on 9 April, you will be soon.  Take it as an Opportunity.

Mercury is also turning Retrograde on 28 April.  It backs over asteroid Vesta (Unconscious Beliefs), giving us the opportunity to become Aware of our Limiting Beliefs.  Awareness is a prerequisite to Change.  Mercury’s Shadow Period is 15-24 Taurus and 28 April-22 May.  This section of Taurus (Scorpio through Aquarius Duads) is about re-examining what we’ve been Creating, and adapting it to the Good of All.  We can no longer afford Competition, lest we All go down fighting with one another.  Everything we do must now be Collaborative, and directed toward Sustainability.

Fateful Full Moon

There are three big themes to the 21 April Full Moon (10:30pm PDT) – Transitions, Fate, and Truth.

• Transitions because the Full Moon occurs on a Cusp between two Signs – a place of Change, Transformation, often Contradistinction.
• Fate because the asteroid Moira – Fate – Motivates (T-Squares) it.  Fate and Free Will are of course a Duality, an Either/Or, an Intellectualization.  Real Life is Both/And.  How can anything be Both/And when they’re Opposites? Well, if that’s upsetting to you, the answer is in your hand – you’ve shifted into Emotion – Cusps again, the Cusps between modalities of Perception.  You could also have shifted into Body or Spirit.  Either/Or is a characteristic of mind, and though we’re trained to Believe that mind is bigger than the Universe, in Real Life the Universe is much bigger than mind.
• Truth because both of the Truth asteroids – Aletheia (Greek) and Veritas (Roman) adjoin the Sun.  Which brings us back to the larger theme of Removing our Masks.

Let’s focus on the Cusps…

• The Moon itself is on the Cusp of Scorpio.  Here we Change from intellectually and Creatively contemplating the new-found concept of Other (Not-I, including Other People), to intense Emotional Curiosity about Other.  Does Other really exist, or is that just a Mirror?  Does the Other Side really exist, or is it just a Projection?
• The Sun is on the Cusp of Taurus, along with the asteroids Aletheia, Veritas, and Atropos.  Atropos is Responsible for enforcing the measure of length of Life – another form of Truth.  At the Cusp of Taurus we shift from Making Things Up, to Casting them in Stone.  The Edge between what may or may not be Fantasy, and what the Muggles would consider “Real.”  Natural-born Chemists think it’s Matter that’s Real, while natural-born Physicists know that it’s Energy that’s Real.  Yes, I do take sides, though of course it’s Both/And.
• The asteroid Moira – Fate – sits on the Cusp of Aquarius, as do we.  Sit on the Cusp of the Age of Aquarius I mean.  Here we move from hard-nosed down-to-Earth Pragmatism, to Idealism, or Idolatry.  Notice anybody worshipping Sacred Cows or Golden Calfs?  Such as Power, or Profit?

All together eight of the twelve Cusps are involved in the Full Moon.  If we’re worried that our Fate is to contemplate Truth and Compassion (if Other is a Mirror, we better find Compassion!), the other five Cusps each provide alternate paths that are easier than that one.

• Our first Escape Route is the Cusp of Capricorn (where reside the dwarf planets Quaoar and Hylonome), where we Change from Letting Go of difficulties, to actually having to try to Resolve them.  (Quaoar-Hylonome tells us that if we want to Survive, we need to Molt, shed our old Ego and Open Up to the new.)
• The Cusp of Pisces is our second path to higher ground.  Here we’re fairly rudely dumped from drinking beer and discussing grand schemes for solving the problems created by the existence of Other, to having to Feel the Realities that arise because of the existence of Other.  (On this Cusp we find the asteroids Pallas and Lachesis, and the dwarf planets OR10 and Nessus, reminders that a Life in the realm of Matter is a Privilege and a Deep Mystery, and one which has well-defined Boundaries.)

The last three Cusps are about Curiosity (Quincunxes to the Sun or Moon).

• The asteroids Ceres (Sustainability) and Mnemosyne (Memory) decorate the Cusp of Aries.  Buddhists say that if you immerse yourself in the Water (Emotion), you’ll come out in the Fire (Spirit), and this is the place where you’ll come out.  I Wonder where these Memories will lead me.
• The asteroid Karma is parked on the Cusp of Gemini.  On this Cusp we go from being Trapped in Stone, to being Liberated, free to walk around and Be whomever we want to Be.  I Wonder how we could ever find a more perfect place for Karma.
• Finally, the Cusp of Libra is where we find the dwarf planet Makemake (Manifestation).  At the Cusp of Libra we’ve just finished an unpleasant-feeling period of Ego Transformations, and we’re ready to test our new Selves out on Other People.  I Wonder how I’ll be received.

Adventures in Consciousness!

Dragons, Centaurs, and Kings Oh My

Lovely sight out there, with the Fulling Moon kissing Jupiter.

A note on format – the unindented bold italic text is meant for everyone.  The indented normal text is meant for anyone who’s interested in more detail, and specifically for folks who know some astrology and/or who want to learn astrology.  And…

The yet-more indented italic text explains astrological terms and processes.

We don’t follow this format exclusively, but it’s sort of a goal.

We’re about three hours from the Moon crossing the near Midpoint between Jupiter and the North Node (2am 18 PDT April), and twelve hours from the Moon crossing the far Midpoint between Chiron and the South Node (11am PDT 18 April).  The Moon has been, and will be, within one Degree of Sensitivity from this complex between about 6pm PDT 17 April till about 5pm PDT 18 April, and within three Degrees of Sensitivity from around noon PDT 17 April till around 9pm PDT 18 April.  It’d be a useful time to measure your own Sensitivity.

So…what’s this all about?

The Nodes are often referred to as “The Dragon,” the North Node as the Dragon’s Head and the South Node as the Dragon’s Tail.  A Centaur is a planetoid chasing an irregular orbit between Jupiter and Neptune – Chiron is a Centaur.  Like the half-human-half-horse Greek Centaurs, the cosmic Centaurs and half comet and half asteroid.  Jupiter was the King of the Roman Gods.

“Sensitivity” is like “slop” – we don’t wait till an astrological event is Exact, we start feeling it when it’s still some distance away – three Degrees if we’re pretty Sensitive, one Degree even if we’re a Muggle.  Of course it could be a matter of education – even a Muggle experiences the astroevents, they just aren’t Conscious of how their emotions, thoughts, circumstances, and actions are related to what’s going on in the sky.

Midpoints are just Sensitive points halfway between two planets or other Heavenly Bodies.

The Moon triggers things that are thinking about happening.  The North Node represents our Deepest Desires and Mission in the Lifetime, while Jupiter symbolizes Expansion.  One way to interpret the South Node is that it stands for our Limiting Beliefs, probably adopted from “Past Lives.”  Maybe from Childhood, but Childhood Traumas are usually hangovers from Past Lives.  Chiron is trickier.  It represents Despair or Discouragement, but it’s “curable” through Empathy.  Empathy Heals, and when we Empathize with ourself, Despair Dissolves.

The Nodes are called the “Dragon” because, like their name-sake, they can breathe fire, and occasionally get hungry and fly around torching villages for the fun of it.  They kind of represent what we’re scared to face – we shy away from our Deepest Desires (North Node) because we feel Guilty about them, and we shy away from our Limiting Beliefs (South Node) because we don’t want to have to re-Experience the heavy Emotions that surround them.

So this is a very potent combination – feeling (Healable) Despair about our Limiting Beliefs while Conscious of the pull of our Deepest Desires and our Mission on the Planet.  If we’re lucky or Skillful, we break through the Despair and leap toward our Deepest Desires and Mission.  Mind is smaller than Mission, so most of us aren’t actually able to comprehend exactly what our Mission here is, why we came here.  Our Deepest Desires are a snapshot of our Mission – by following our Bliss we move toward our Mission.

Most of us probably feel good about the idea of “Mission,” unless we think of it as an unnecessary burden.  And most of us feel some degree of Guilt or other Hesitation about our Deepest Desires, because we think they’re Selfish, or somebody told us they were naughty.  That Guilt or Hesitation is a Mirror of our Limiting Beliefs.  We have to break through that to get closer to our Mission and to our Heart’s Desire.  

So this weekend, with a little self-Empathy (Honesty with ourself about what’s really going on) we get an Opportunity to break through our Limitations and soar toward What We Want out of Life.  Huzzah!!

All this happens between 11 and 26 (three Degrees of Sensitivity) or 13 and 24 (one Degree of Sensitivity) Degrees of Virgo (Moon-North Node-Jupiter) and Pisces (South Node-Chiron), so we’re mostly talking about the second Decanate of Virgo-Pisces, or the Capricorn Decanate (Practicality) of Virgo (Transformation) and the Cancer (Nurturing) Decanate of Pisces (Embracing Unfinished Emotions).  Whatever natal planets you have in these Degrees, or in the same span of Sagittarius or Gemini, will be lit up big-time this weekend.

A Decanate is a ten-Degree section of a Sign.  So for instance, the first Decanate of Virgo (Transformation) is the Virgo Decanate (Ego Death) of Virgo, the second is the Capricorn Decanate, and the third is the Taurus (Solidifying) Decanate.  So the Virgo Transformation process involves

• Melting down the Ego we established in Leo (Ego Death, Virgo-Virgo),
• Coming to understand what we have to Let Go of if we are to find a new Balance (getting Practical about it, Virgo-Capricorn), and
• Settling into a new place of relative Stability (Virgo-Taurus) in order to prepare ourself to meet Other – Other People, and Not-Me in general – in Libra.  

We enter Virgo knowing Who We Are, and we leave Virgo knowing Who We Aren’t.

The Decanates follow the Qualities of each Sign – for instance, Virgo is an Earth Sign, so its three Decanades follow the three Earth Signs.  Pisces is a Water Sign, so its three Decanates chase Water around the Zodiac.

Here’s an excellent prediction about what might happen if we, collectively, don’t manage to be Honestly Loving with ourself soon…

https://sailingondreams.wordpress.com/2016/04/17/the-redeemer/

Could be a prediction for early June’s Initiation of Uranus (our Soul Self) by Eris (the Revelation of Denial).

Another Busy Weekend II

Whoo, feel that Anger out there already!  More than Mars-Plutos have supplied in recent years.  So let’s take each episode of our own Anger, and each episode of another’s Anger, as doorways to our own Denial.  K?

The Vesta-Mercury Initiation (Consciousness of Limiting Beliefs) Quincunxes Saturn (Focus), making two Tricolors in the process:

• Asteroid Klotho (Reboot) Square Vesta-Mercury Quincunx Saturn Trine Klotho
• Jupiter-North Node (Expanding our Sense of Mission and Desire) Square Saturn Quincunx Vesta-Mercury Trine Jupiter-North Node

We interpret a Tricolor by imagining what sort of Confusion or Frustration that the Square might cause, and postulating that if we formulate a Wondering or other PIAVA that expresses the Quincunx, then the Grace of the Trine will be unleashed.

For instance, we might experience Klotho (Reboot) Square Vesta-Mercury (Becoming Aware of our Limiting Beliefs – probably through owning a Projection) as Fear or Hesitation about how much we’d have to restructure our Lives if we Let Go of the Limiting Belief.  

“Owning a Projection” means that, in a place where we’re in the Habit of Blaming Others for something, we decide to look at our own Process, to see if there’s anything there which we can take Personal Responsibility for.  Remember, Blame looks backward to assign Cause, while Responsibility looks forward to improve Outcomes.

Let’s say, just for an example, you have a Garden, and Others are always criticizing it because it looks different than the Gardens they’re used to.  You’re in the Habit of grumbling to yourself about how no one ever asks you what your Intentions are or assumes you have some plan that they don’t understand, they just tell you how you’re doing it wrong, often vociferously.  They may even try to punish you for being wrong.  Well, if enough people tell you you’re wrong, most of us will start Believing we are wrong.  Or if not wrong, then we give up trying, because without Support, Life is hard.

Okay, there’s one thread – Believing Others more than we Trust Ourself.  Seeking Approval, or at least seeking an Open Mind and Curiosity and an attempt to Understand, if not Validate, what we’re doing and why.  That’s not Self-Sovereignty.  In fact, it could be a clue about our Forbidden Genius.  What do we leave half-finished because we don’t expect Acknowledgement for it?  Another crucial Question: Does this invoke any childhood memories?  If we were not Validated as a Unique Individual in our childhood, we’ll continue to Create circumstances where we have the opportunity to fill in that hole in our Aura by Validating ourself.

This line of thought is useful, it’s contributing useful information, and we could continue to work it productively.  But it’s analytical, Mercury-stuff – which of course is cool for Mercury-Vesta, exactly what we’d expect of Mercury-Vesta, analysis of our Limiting Beliefs.  But it’s not taking advantage of the Tricolor.  While analysis might install a window in the wall of our Birdcage, it’s unlikely to add a new wing.  For that we need to move to Curiosity.

“I Wonder where I might Focus my Attention in order to maximize Liberation from my Limiting Beliefs.”  A Statement, not a Question.  We aren’t intending to seek Answers, which would be intellectual and hence Linear.  We’re wanting to invoke the Nonlinear Insight that the Tricolor promises, the Insight that breaks through into additional Dimensions.  So we need to Change the Subject, put the mind to work on other concerns, so we can let that Wondering perk for a while.

Saturn-Klotho is a Trine, so if we don’t get stuck on the Square, the Rebooting should be Effortless.

How might we experience the other Square, Jupiter-North Node Square Saturn?  Well, there’s the traditional contrast between Jupiter as Expansion and Saturn as Concentration.  Do we want to put our Attention toward Expanding into our Mission and giving ourselves Permission to explore our Desires?  Or do we want to Focus on bringing our Limiting Beliefs into Consciousness where they can be where they can be reprogrammed?

“I Wonder what Limiting Beliefs inhibit me from Expanding vigorously into my Mission?”

Jupiter-North Node is also Trine to Vesta-Mercury; all we have to do is get out of the way and let the Magic unfold.

The Vesta-Mercury Initiation is also one corner of a Grand Trine, with Jupiter-North Node and Pluto (the Inevitable), so we really do have Grace working here.  With the Grand Trine, the Ego Death may not even be as uncomfortable as usual – though we’ve got that simultaneous Mars-Pluto Station Energy revving us up.  

 Which creates a third Tricolor…

• Vesta-Mercury Square Klotho Quincunx Pluto Trine Vesta-Mercury

With Pluto Stationary this seems like a rather unavoidable Reboot of our whole complex of Unconscious Beliefs.

“I Wonder what sort of Transformation will be upon us this weekend!”

With Mars and Pluto Stationary it won’t hurt to also PIAVA something like “Great Spirit, please grant us a Loving and Gentle and Easy weekend” just to cover the bases.

One last Angle: Vesta-Mercury is also Trioctile to Makemake and Octile to Ceres, or we could say that Vesta-Mercury forms a Trioctile Bridge across the Ceres-Makemake Opposition.  Ceres-Makemake is about making Innovation Permanent, which is very important when the Planet is Changing as rapidly and completely as ours.  The Eighth-Harmonic Octile series of Angles is about bringing things back into Balance.

So the weekend should also Open us Up to some whole new Vistas of Possibility.  It wouldn’t hurt us to do some “What-Ifs” – “What if People actually Supported me?”  “What if we could manifest a Community that really did Support us?”  That’d give us a sense of accomplishment for a weekend’s work, wouldn’t it.  Don’t dismiss the Possibility!

Which causes us to Ask, just where is dwarf planet Chaos – Unlimited Potential – this weekend?  Oho, here it is, Opposite Saturn and making a Grand Cross with the Nodes!  A Grand Cross Bridged by Vesta-Mercury, Klotho, and  Pluto.  A char that just keeps on Giving!

Onlines

Two free online interview series that sound interesting…

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I’m familiar and very impressed with the work that Nilima Baht has done, I’ve pre-ordered her book on Shakti Leadership: Embracing Feminine and Masculine Power in Business, and I’m intrigued to see what she has to say in this “Alchemy of Awakened Leadership” interview series that starts on 2 May… 

http://newawakeleaders.com/

Among the many others on this docket, I know only amazing researcher John Gray and renowned herbalist Susun Weed, but I recommend both of them highly.  You never know what John’s going to come up with next!  Susun actually subscribed to the printed ancestor of this blog for a little while many years ago, till I made a disparaging remark about Western Culture’s attitude toward Motherhood.

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Remarkable Energy Healer Donna Eden, Energy Psychology Pioneer David Feinstein, and a couple of their colleagues are included in this series that spans much of April.  Recordings of the ten or so interviews that have already occurred are available full-time, which I find so much more generous than the standard “you can listen to this for six hours, after that you’re screwed” process used by most of these programs…

http://www.energeticsofthesoul.com/

I don’t know any of the other interviewees, but I can certainly vouch for Donna and David!  And I’m listening to Dana Williams at the moment, and it’s quite fascinating.

Another Busy Weekend

We have dedicated our Lives to suppressing certain Emotions and Memories and even Thoughts, and for good reason.  They would Overwhelm us, and we have More Important things to do.  Till now.

Thing is, those Emotions and Memories and Thoughts are the doorways to Healing our Limiting Beliefs, making it Safe to Remove our remaining Masks, eliminating Self-Sabotage, uncorking our Forbidden Genius, and to painlessly achieving the Yintegrity and Self-Sovereignty that we so crave, but which we hold back from because we fear it would so Disrupt our Lives and the Lives of those we Love and Depend upon.  That sentence was not approved by the FDA, but I believe it’s True.  And it may even positively impact our Physical Health.

The Universe will bring these Emotions and Memories and Thoughts to us in early June, and the Universe has been, and continues to, give us Opportunities to get a head start.  And every early Opportunity we take advantage of will make June less painful.  If we’re still in Resistance to these Emotions and Memories and Thoughts in June, the process could well be painful.  The Universe is our friend, if we Learn to listen to Her.

As you probably know by now, Eris (Truthtelling) Initiates Uranus (Our Connection to Our Individual Soul) in early June.   We expect this to do a pretty good job of finishing up the Yintegrity work we’ve been doing since 2012.  Well, let’s put it this way – late May and early June will be the Can-Opener phase of this Initiation.  The Initiation occurs at 24 Aries, “Blown inward by the wind, the curtains of an open window take the shape of a cornucopia: Openness to the influx of spiritual energies.“

When an Angle between two planets repeats, as is usually the case with outer planets, the first event always catches us off guard.  The last time this event occurred was in 1926, so very few of us have Experienced it in our current Lifetime.  If you know someone in their 90s who’s freaking out, this is probably why.  The less Experience we have with an Energy, the more likely it is to catch us off guard.  Forewarned is forearmed, however, so even if we’re off guard, knowing in general what the Energy is about can help us make sense out of what’s happening, and can help us step out of the Victim Modality we’d otherwise be in.

Let’s take what we hope will be an extreme example – suppose we were sexually abused as a child.  We don’t remember it, we only notice that in some situations we feel Unsafe or Angry or Scared, or maybe we’re uncomfortable with Intimacy.  If those Memories pop up in late May or early June, we’re going to Regress to the age when the abuse occurred, and to the Skillset and Boundaries that we had – or more accurately didn’t have – at that age.  Victim Modality is a foregone conclusion, most especially if those Memories arise as a result of some similar-feeling Unsafety in the then-Present Moment.

If we are somehow reminded that there is likely to be a “100-year” Regression (a Regression on such a scale that it occurs only once in a century) going on, we’re still going to be caught off guard, but we’re likely to be able to Recover our Present-Moment Skillsets much sooner than if we didn’t get the memo, or as the case may be, the blog post.

We’ve talked before about “Sensitivity” – how Sensitive we are to an astrological event, something astrologers can “Orb,” and I sometimes call “Slop.”  When an event is pending, most folks can certainly begin feeling it when it comes within one Degree of being exact.  Of course the Muggles will be in Denial, finding all manner of excuses, thinking it’s Heartburn.  The more Sensitive among us will begin feeling an event when it comes within three Degrees.  The most Sensitive of us will feel it sooner than that.

The Eris-Uranus Initiation reaches one Degree of Sensitivity in Mid-May.  It reached three Degrees of Sensitivity in late March.  Most folks who read this are likely to be at least three-Degrees Sensitive, so most of us are already Feeling it.  We Feel it through pressure to stop hiding or covering up parts of ourself that we’ve thought were less attractive or less Skillful.  Through Vulnerability.  Through Epiphanies about where we’ve been seeing through a glass darkly.  Through old Identities and Ego-Masks and Archetypes that we’re outgrowing.  Through a Desire to stop “Playing Games.”

An Initiation is a Conjunction.  When Angles repeat three times, as the Uranus-Eris Conjunction does, the first occurrence is a Can-Opener.  It opens a “Can of Worms” that we didn’t know was waiting for us.  The second and third occurrences are also Conjunctions, but they aren’t Initiations – only the first event is an Initiation.  We’re almost always in Victim Mode during a Can-Opener.

The second occurrence is an Exposition – the same Energy recurs front and center, but this time it seems to occur in slow motion (Retrograde), so we have a far better chance of understanding what’s happening “to us,” and consequently a far better chance of moving from Victim Mode to Master Mode.  In Victim Mode things happen to us, we have no Control over them.  In Master Mode, even if things happen to us, we have Skills to deal with them adequately.  

If we Master an Energy during the Exposition, then the third occurrence is a Confidence-Builder.  The Energy and Process recurs, but this time we’re ready and able to deal with it using our now-Present-Moment Skillsets, including those we learned in the previous two events, and we sail through it, feeling great about our new Expertise.  If we didn’t Master the Energy during the Exposition, then the third occurrence becomes another Opportunity, another Exposition.

The Uranus-Pluto Square recurred six times after the Can-Opener, giving us an indication of how Important the Universe thought it was for us to Recover our Yintegrity.  As if Pluto didn’t already symbolize what is Mandatory (Adaptable but not Avoidable).  The Can-Opener (June 2012) was followed by five Expositions (October 2012, May and November 2013, May and December 2014) before the Confidence-Builder (March 2015).  

The Uranus-Eris Exposition peaks in late September, while the Confidence-Builder occurs at the Ides of March next year.

In other words, as Uranus approaches Eris, that section of the Zodiac (now 21-23 Aries) gets very Hot.  The Sun (our Essence) crossed that section last weekend (April 9-11), while Varuna (Cellular Wisdom) and Chariklo (Beauty and Charm) were Stationary.  Venus (our Values) crosses that section two weekends hence, April 22-24.  In between, this coming weekend (April 16-17), Mars (Action) and Pluto (Inevitability) are Stationary (Strong).

There’s a joke about two Olde-Boy psychologists trading stories about “Freudian slips.”  One says his attention was drawn to the bosom of a ticket-seller on a recent trip to Pittsburgh, and he accidentally asked for a picket to his destination instead of a ticket.  The other says, “That’s nothing.  The other day I was having dinner with my mother and when I meant to ask her to pass the butter, what came out instead was ‘Mother, you’ve ruined my Life and I hate you!’ ”  

It would be really appropriate to Mars-Pluto – and fortuitous – if such Freudian slips came out this weekend, because they would constitute bright flashing lights pointing us toward clues about what hasn’t come to the surface of Consciousness yet.  Let your tongue be your Guide this weekend.  Same with “slip-ups” of any sort.  Make a wrong turn on the way to the store?  Where did you end up?  Drop a jar of Honey on a hard floor?  What do you suppose that might mean?  PIAVA the question.  Run into someone you haven’t seen in a long time?  A stranger strikes up an interesting conversation?  Pay Attention this weekend.

In particular, in addition to the Retrograde Stations of Pluto (5am PDT 17 April at 18 Capricorn) and Mars (1am PDT 18 April at 9 Sagittarius), Vesta (Unconscious Beliefs) Initiates Mercury (Communication) at 3pm PDT 16 April, in 17 Taurus, “A symbolic battle between ‘swords’ and ‘torches’.”  Fascinating Symbol, as Swords symbolize mentality, as does Mercury.  That leaves Vesta standing in for Torches, indicating that…

Our Unconscious Limiting Beliefs are Burning their way out of Denial now, and will be for the next fifteen months, while this Mercury-Vesta Cycle moves through.  Just long enough to cover the Eris-Uranus Confidence-Builder.

We’ll talk more about the Vesta-Mercury Initiation – with its two Tricolors and Grand Trine – in the next installment, but note that while it’s occurring, the Sun is crossing the asteroid Mnemosyne – Memory.  What a jokester, this Universe!

Hiatus

I’m going to take a break from writing this blog, and resume when I’ve gotten an email from each of you saying you’ve finished reading Shonda Rhime’s Year of Yes.  She says everything I’ve been saying, but much more Powerfully.  You need to read it, especially before early June’s Removal of our Last Mask (aka Eris-Uranus Initiation)!

…

Just kidding; we’ve got simultaneous Stations of Mars and Pluto coming up early next week, we can’t miss those.  But I’m dead serious about how important her book is, and the timing is so mmcredibly Right On!

Stalking II

I believe it’s important to keep in mind that the Patriarchy is dying.  Unfortunately, these kinds of thing aren’t unique to the demise of the Patriarchy, but what we want to Visualize is Women, Together, Walking in Beauty, Secure in their Selfhood and their Right to be Safe and Present and Unapologizing for Who they Are, chins neither lowered nor raised, spines straight, shoulders squared, so that no Woman is ever Alone, Ever, always embedded in this Energy of quiet Power and Strength.  

Ready to become very noisy Power at a moment’s notice.  Men joining them in collaboration, and the men that are too threatened by this Energy isolated and cowering in Fear as the Energy rises, running for their lives.  A tsunami of this Energy crashing over the walls of the Olde Boy hangouts with all of their Sanctioned and Unsanctioned criminality, their Slaves and Bitches rebelling.  Here’s Shonda Rhimes’s story about the progression of Power in one arena (Year of Yes, pp.171-3)…

“This moment right here, me standing up here all brown with my boobs and my Thursday night of network television full of women of color, competitive women, strong women, women who own their bodies and whose lives revolve around their work instead of their men, women who are big dogs?  That could only be happening right now…

“Fifteen years ago… there’d have been maybe a few women in Hollywood [with decision power].  And a lot of D girls and assistants who were gritting their teeth and working really hard…

“Thirty years ago… maybe there’d be a thousand secretaries fending off their handy bosses back at the office and about two women in Hollywood in this room [at a Women of Power award ceremony].  And if I were here, I would be serving these two women breakfast.

“Fifty years ago, if women wanted to gather in a room … well, it better be about babies or charity work.  And the brown women would be in one room over there and the white women in another room over here.

“From then to now … we’ve all made such an incredible leap.”

“This?  Was a group effort.”

There is Movement.  Without relaxing Vigilance, we need to recognize that there has been Progress.  Shonda’s talking specifically about Dynamic Power, but her industry is about Creativity, which doesn’t happen without Magnetic Power.  She’s talking about the Dynamic Power which makes room for fully respected Magnetic Power.

The Stationary Chariklo is at the focus of a Yod (Pay Attention!) based on a Hopi-Asbolus Sextile (Knowing Intuitively who we can Trust), and it’s Trine-Bridges (provides a shortcut to) an Asbolus (Intuition) T-Square (Mastery through Challenge) across the Orcas-Nessus/OR10 Opposition (Irrupted Memories of Oaths Against Abuse)…

The suggestion is that our Intuition flows when our chins are neither lowered nor raised, our spines are straight, and our shoulders squared.  Have we made Oaths to Abandon ourself because we thought we’d be Safer that way?  Maybe it’s time to vacate those Oaths, to Revert!

Which Configuration produces a Major Orcus-Square-Asbolus-Quincunx-Chariklo-Trine-Orcus Tricolor (I Wonder if I can get Clearer about which Oaths may be sabotaging me, by Standing Tall) and a Minor Nessus/OR10-Square-Asbolus-Quincunx-Chariklo-Sextile-Nessus/OR10 Tricolor (I Wonder if Standing Tall will help me deal with these Memories of Abuse).

Wondering if Standing Tall will help us see what Promises we need to Vacate and how to Respond to our Memories.  Not the kind of Wondering that requests an Answer or Solution, a permanent sort of Wondering, a Surrender of Control.  Followed by Changing the Subject – moving on to deal with other issues that can divert the mind – while we make space for our Intuition to speak to us.  

If we don’t otherwise engage the mind, we cannot break through to a new Way of Seeing the World, the Way we’ll need in the future.  The old Oaths and Promises we made have probably been long lost in the Unconscious, and were probably made to help us Survive in the face of someone Abusing their Power over us.  We may be spontaneously re-experiencing the original sources of the PTSD we’ve been pretending we weren’t afflicted by. 

The Chariklo-Stationary chart features a strong Shamanic Kite Configuration – Mars (Action) Biseptile Chiron-South Node (Past-Life Despair) Septile Mercury (Awareness) Septile Moon (Instinct) Triseptile Mars, which creates a Mars Septile Yod on a Mercury-Moon base.  The Seventh-Harmonic Septile series of Angles are about Timing the use of Power – about Acting only when the moment of Greatest Power arrives, and prior to that building up our Energy to provide maximum thrust at that moment of Greatest Power.

There is a strong Call to Action, a Call to Act differently this time, than we Acted at the time we made our original Oath.  There’s also the suggestion that in the Present Moment we’re actually Safer than we Feel ourselves to be – what we Feel is Memories of past Abuse.  In the Present Moment we have immensely more Power than we had then, and we need to Ground ourself and be Present with our Power, rather than letting ourself Regress to the situations where we had no Power.  Shonda again (op cit pp.64-5)…

“Power posing like Wonder Woman is when you stand up like a badass – legs in a wide stance, chin up, hand on your hips.  Like you own the place.  Like you have on magical silver bracelets and know how to use them.  Like your superhero cape is flapping in the wind behind you.

“I’m not just some dork telling you to pretend to be Wonder Woman.  It’s a real thing.

“My online network tells me to power pose like Wonder Woman and reminds me of the actual studies that say that power posing like Wonder Woman for five minutes not only improves self-esteem but even hours later improves how others perceive you.  Let me say that again.

“Standing around like Wonder Woman in the morning can make people think you are amazing at lunchtime.”

“(You don’t believe me?  Watch the TED Talk.)”

http://video.ted.com/talk/podcast/2012G/None/AmyCuddy_2012G-480p.mp4

Stalking

I suppose you could consider it a downside of Chariklo’s Station, but we have a friend who is being stalked by a crazy who last night while she was at work smashed all of her car windows and slashed all of her tires.  She’s being protected by friends as much as is feasible, but we would also much appreciate your Prayers or other PIAVAs that her safety and peace of mind be sustainable, and the same for everyone else in situations similar to hers.  Many thanks.

If you’re new here, by PIAVA we mean Prayer, Intention, Affirmation, Visualization, Asking, and any other magnetic means of changing the Energy on the Planet.