I’m a little surprised about how much subtle Self-Rejection arises today, obviously (time-wise) a correlate of Vesta’s Station. Vesta signifies our Unconscious Beliefs, and if we have an Unconscious Belief of Unworthiness, it does make sense for it to be lit up. One of Francine Shapiro’s techniques in Getting Past Your Past is to re-imagine your negative Self-talk in a cartoon-character voice – Donald Duck or Elmer Fudd or Kermit the Frog, or Obelix.
To retrain ourselves she recommends (I’m editing a bit) keeping a log of uncomfortable Emotions and unsupportive Self-talk, organized in six columns…
- The Trigger – The Present-Moment trigger for the unpleasant Experience
- The Negative Self-Talk – What are you saying or thinking about yourself now?
- The Image – Hold these two in your mind at the same time and allow yourself to float back into your youth; do any memories arises? They may be very vague at first; that’s okay. Can you tell who’s saying these things about you?
- The Emotions – What Feelings are present?
- The Sensations – Where are they in your Body?
- The Score – On a scale of 0-10 (0 is okay, 10 is horrible), how upset are you?
Then you do one of her Return-to-Neutrality exercises, like washing the upset away with a fire hose or erasing it with a big wet eraser, or dumping it into an open full can of paint and stirring it in, or inhaling deeper into your Belly. She has many others in the book. Or you can Tap, or Cancel-Neutralize-Upgrade, or PIAVA Grounding and Self-Respect, or share with someone non-Judgmental, or write about it at greater length.
A long time ago I took a course on how to quit smoking, and they had me continue smoking for a week, but wrap my cancerstick package in a sheet of paper. Each time I wanted a cigarette, I had to unwrap the package, and write down the time of day, what I was Feeling, and what I was Doing. By the end of the week I had a good idea of what Triggered my nicotine urge, and I was able to pick the top several Triggers and Create alternatives. After a meal, rather than smoking I’d drink a glass of water and go for a short walk. While talking on the phone I’d doodle instead of smoking. Not smoking became easy. After several days I had a Dream, and in the Dream I was smoking a cigarette. After the Dream, I haven’t once had any urge for nicotine – and it’s been several decades.
Keeping this log for a while should have a similar effect. Not only will it encourage connection between Present-Moment events and otherwise-Unconscious memories, but it will reveal otherwise-hidden Patterns, and help develop the Habit of Noticing.