Portal 14.9.15 – Part II

ErinConwellErin Conwell’s photo of one of the fires in Glacier National Park (Montana) earlier this year, a good symbol for the Ego and the Eruption of unwelcome Unconscious Contents.

  ζ    ζ    ζ    ζ    ζ 

This is Water under the bridge (Monday’s Ceres Station), but as we’ve often said, I find Interpretation to be more valuable than Prediction, and I’m often led to useful Interpretations in the course of writing this blog.

A reader writes…

“Wow, I didn’t realize the intensity of Mars-quincunx-Ceres until yesterday!”

To which I reply … No biscuits!  Dumped me right into one of my worst Chronic childhood Traumas.  I’d be congratulating myself for recognizing that without being totally overwhelmed, if I wasn’t still in the middle of the Re-Experience.

This reader being an astrologer, I can follow with … I think of it though as Mars Square Sedna, with Mars-Quincunx-Ceres the Perpetual Curiosity path (~ I wonder how I can Take Responsibility to Act Sustainably here?) in the Tricolor, said Perpetual Curiosity liberating the Grace in the Ceres-Sedna Trine (in many cases Action taken out of Presence will probably be more sustainable than Action taken out of Fear or Action taken out of Anger) to resolve the Mars-Square-Sedna dilemma, which is something like “Am I Reacting out of Anger, or out of Fear?”  Translating…

The previous post covers this fairly well I think.  If we Act on our Basic Rule of Safety First, we might have enough Presence to delay Acting at all until we’re more grounded.  We could PIAVA “I wonder what would be most effective, Responding to my Fear, Responding to my Anger, or delaying Response.”  And then – Changing the Subject – waiting for our Intuition (or its Mirror, the Universe) to direct us into one course or another.

But it’s a lot more complicated than this.  Mars-Square-Sedna is the base of a Trine Fez, that is, there are two Tricolors across the Square: not just Sedna-Square-Mars-Quincunx-Ceres-Trine-Sedna, but also Mars-Square-Sedna-Quincunx-the Stellium-Trine-Mars – which is why we’ve woven Responsibility into the interpretation above.

Then there’s an additional, intertwined Square and Tricolor, Eris-Square-Ceres-Quincunx-Mars-Trine-Eris.

This additional part of the Ceres Station is another preview of June 2016’s Eris-Uranus Initiation, which will bring up any unfinished business we have left from our 2012-2015 Uranus-Pluto Yintegrity Adventures.  The objective of these Yintegrity Adventures was to bring our True Self into the forefront of our Personality.  Whatever portions are still holding back will get the call.  Problem is, those portions are not holding back because they Want to – far from it! 

Let’s look at a few snippets from Bessel Van der Kolk’s The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma

“Dissociation is the essence of trauma.  The overwhelming experience is split off and fragmented, so that the emotions, sounds, images, thoughts, and physical sensations related to the trauma take on a life of their own.  The sensory fragments of memory intrude into the present, where they are literally relived.  As long as the trauma is not resolved, the stress hormones that the body secretes to protect itself keep circulating, and the defensive movements and emotional responses keep getting replayed … Many people may not be aware of the connection between their ‘crazy’ feelings and reactions and the traumatic events that are being replayed.  They have no idea why the respond … as if they were about to be annihilated.

Flashback and reliving are in some ways worse than the trauma itself.  A traumatic event has a beginning and an end – at some point it is over.  But for people with PTSD a flashback can occur at any time, whether they are awake or asleep.  There is no way of knowing when it’s going to occur again or how long it will last.  People who suffer from flashbacks often organize their lives around trying to protect against them. … Shame becomes the dominant emotion and hiding the truth the central preoccupation.” [pp.66-67]

“If the fight/flight/freeze response is successful and we escape the danger, we recover our internal equilibrium and gradually [recover].  If for some reason the normal response is blocked – for example, when people are held down, trapped, or otherwise prevented from taking effective action, be it in a war zone, a car accident, domestic violence, or a rape – the brain keeps secreting stress chemicals, and the brain’s electrical circuits continue to fire in vain.  Long after the actual event has passed, the brain may keep sending signals to the body to escape a threat that no longer exists.” [p.54]

“Whenever we feel threatened, we instinctively turn to the first level [of safety], social engagement.  We call out for help, support, and comfort from the people around us.  But if no one comes to our aid [or we’re conditioned to expect no one to], or if we’re in immediate danger, the organism reverts to a more primitive way to survive: fight or flight.  We fight off our attacker, or we run to a safe place.  However, if this fails – we can’t get away, we’re held down or trapped – the organism tries to preserve itself by shutting down … We are then in a state of freeze or collapse.” [p.80]

Trauma can be either Acute (an event or several) or Chronic (prolonged repression of a natural part of ourself).  Our greatest Power (which is usually, as Marianne Williamson avers, our Greatest Fear) often overwhelmed our significant adults as we were growing up.  So they tried to socialize it out of us, very often producing Chronic Trauma in the process.  Or, if our significant adults weren’t Emotionally mature (which was and is often the case, as any child’s significant adults – or older siblings with Power Over us – are often not far out of their teens), they basically exploited our Power for their own ends.  For instance, they would Shame us in order to Feel like they were in Control.  Or Abuse of far worse proportions.

And that additional Square is the base of a Mjolnir focused on Jupiter.  A Mjolnir is formed when a third planet occupies the far midpoint of two planets that Square one another, Bridging the Square with two Trioctiles.  The Octile is about Adjustment and Rebalancing, the “Tri” about Love with Wisdom, the Trioctile about Insight, and the Mjolnir (or Hammer of Thor) is about Epiphany.

So there’s a good chance we’ve been Opened Up to the parts of our Self which have yet to Bloom, and we’ll be working with these parts until next June.  Be Loving and Gentle with them, as they are likely to be some of our most Vulnerable places.  It’s Difficult and can be Terrifying, but it’s about Embracing the Forest Fire, not Extinguishing it.  It contains our Power.

Here’s one of Dr. Kim’s processes to help us through this…

http://events.instantteleseminar.com/?eventid=74490222

Find her at http://drkimderamo.com/ .

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