I got up this morning after a long Meditation sending Loving Kindness into and Tapping on my usual-but-always-different motley collection of Pains, Fears, and Anxieties, and, stepping into the shower, had to stop and think about which way to turn the knob to get the water a little warmer. A small moment, but what a Window.
Of course I should be on my knees in Gratitude for hot running Water – what a Blessing that so few Hupers in history have been able to Enjoy, and so few even today! I settled for a lesser expression of Gratitude. We’ll come back to that “should” in a few minutes.
Right, a “senior moment” as they say. But not – it was a tiny Rebirth! Resetting the Patterns! Epigenetics in Action. I’ve found Epigenetics to be a little hard to wrap my mind around. Yes, we’re Victims of whatever Genes were handed to our Ancestors, whatever Mutations they stumbled upon, and whatever ongoing Mutations we’ve stumbled upon in our own Young Lives. But Epigenetics tells us that it’s not so much about the Genes, it’s about whether or not the Genes are Turned On or Turned Off, or Tuned Out. And that, while it’s far too subtle for most of us to Engineer on the Conscious level, we actually do have some Influence over the Turning On, Turning Off, and Tuning Out – we do take it with us. Not the money, but what we’ve Learned (holistically, not intellectually).
Then look at it from the Karmic Perspective – Karma as Inertia. Okay, waking up, having Pains and Fears and Anxieties, getting vertical – most of those Patterns have probably been going on since somewhere between the Planet’s first multi-celled Critter and the first Habitation of a Biochemical Organism by Consciousness, if those two events are different. Far more than Ancient, those Patterns, tons of Inertia, tonnes of Iterations. That’s how we build Habit (which is very useful – imagine having to Consciously contract and relax each muscle to get vertical; I wouldn’t even know where to start), Iteration. Compare that to how many Iterations we have under our collective “belt” adjusting the Water temperature in the shower (with that particular kind of plumbing fixture even!). A Pattern poorly cemented, easily broken.
Which brings us to the meat of the issue here, Ego Death. I could have added a “senior moment” to my Anxiety List, accreting it to my Small Bummers locker. I didn’t. Instead I added a “broken Pattern” to my Small Successes box, increasing my joie de vivre just a pinch. I “should” probably summarize the signs of Ego Rebirth again as we move into September, since it’s very much in the schedule, but for now, see https://astrobuss.wordpress.com/category/identity/ego-death/ .
I made an illuminating discovery this morning…
The first thing to pop out of this blog for me is “the victims of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) abuse” – whoa. Exactly what’s going on on the Planet, with the Income Inequality and Exploitative Capitalism and cultural admiration of the Captains of Excess, whether they’re athletes, entertainers, politicians, or vulture capitalists – we’re all Victims of NPD Abuse here, and Victims of our own acculturated admiration of it. Unfortunately it’s Genetic, rather than “just” Epigenetic, but the Epigenetic component is big as well.
Not meaning at all to diminish the impact of NPD Abuse on the individual by individuals. And the notion of “I don’t think it was ever an accident that these people with [a knack for triggering my own Victim Patterns] keep showing up in my life” invites a book on Mirrors, or at least a summary of how they help us Witness our most troublesome Patterns.
I don’t have Mirrors in our Categories list, and it should be there. And these notions shed a whole new Light on Ixion the Psychopath and Nessus the icon of Male Privilege. We don’t usually give Centaur Nessus much heed, but it does Sextile the Stellium, Square Saturn, and Bridge (Unx-Quincunx) the Nodes in the Stellium-Stations chart. Not to mention Pallas (Boundaries) on the Great Attractor.
And then there’s…
“Have you read The Crossroads of Should and Must by Elle Luna? You should. Or should I say, you must! … The book says there are two paths available to us: should and must. Should is doing what society considers acceptable while Must is doing exactly what our true self dictates. I can’t get over the fact that this is exactly where I am right now. At the crossroads. And I’ve been standing here for what seems like forever.“
Whoa again! Exactly where we’re all at, and exactly what we’ve been calling Yintegrity for the last four years, and which is lit up again – and still – between now and next June (at the very least).
Eris (Exposing Denial) Initiates Uranus (the Soul Self) next June, which will be putting finishing touches on our 2012-2015 Uranus-Square-Pluto (Mandatory Yintegrity) adventures, while the budding Uranus-Eris Conjunction Opposes Haumea (Rebirth) and forms one corner of the Grand Trine with the Stellium and Mars.
All of which leads us circuitously to…
Twenty-two is way excessive, but we can pick and choose. They left off Elle’s book, though.