Confusion Is the First Stage

…of Growth.  As with Curiosity, we want to avoid the temptation to seek resolution.  We don’t want Answers, we want to Enjoy the sensations of Confusion and Curiosity without trying to Change them. 

Think of the Day before Christmas or the Day before your Birthday when you were four years old and really Excited about what was about to happen, even though you had no idea what it will be.  Even if you shook all the Presents to see if they rattled, it wasn’t really to guess what was inside, it was to make yourself more Excited by the Possibilities.  If your fourth Birthday or fourth Christmas wasn’t anything like that (or wasn’t even in your Cultural calendar), imagine some other circumstance where you were really Excited about a Big Surprise that was about to happen – maybe the day before your first Marriage or your first Big Date.

Of course that introduces Anxiety.  Which brings us to “Fear plus Breathing Equals Excitement” – when it does.  Most of the time it’s probably actually underlying Fear that motivates us to try to get Answers to resolve our Curiosity and Confusion.  After a big noise in the night we get up to investigate, not to resolve our Curiosity, but so we won’t be bludgeoned after we go back to sleep.  We’re actually getting a great opportunity to examine what underlies our need to get Answers to resolve our Curiosity or Confusion.  Whatever Answers we get will follow from our prior Limiting Beliefs, blocking whatever Growth we were getting close to.

We could make a good case that Growth in Consciousness isn’t possible without either Confusion, Curiosity, or Trauma to neutralize our old Ego and its complex of Limiting and Self-Sabotaging Beliefs.  Since it’s entirely possible that our Soul’s Path will eventually have its way with us whether our Ego-Resistance likes it or not, it would make a lot of sense to practice appreciating Confusion and Curiosity as an effort to avoid Trauma.  There are lots of stories about Trauma pushing us beyond the Ego, but why not choose an easier path.

So our first step would be to Notice when we’re feeling Confused or Curious, and Notice any efforts we subsequently make to defuse those Feelings.  Just this simple practice would lead us to examine and Learn to recognize our Anxiety, and from there we could learn to Notice how we tend to try to attribute Anxiety to external effects rather than just Embracing it as an Emotion or Energy State of its own.  Lots of opportunity here to Empathize with ourself in subtle Feeling states that we don’t even usually include in the list of common Emotions.

We’d tell ourselves, “Oh, you Lucky Dog, you’re Feeling Confused, aren’t you!”  “O, are you Feeling Curious?  Wow, fantastic!”  “Is that Anxiety you’re Feeling, Sweetheart?  Tell me what it Feels like in our Body.”  We could put Confusion, Curiosity, and Anxiety in the same category as Discouragement – Feelings we have to avoid trying to “Fix,” and Learn to appreciate and Enjoy exactly as they are.  Miracles will follow.

Another detail I missed in Busy Weekend I and II – the Mars-Square-Haumea-Quincunx-Chiron-Trine-Mars Tricolor.  The interpretation is to resolve apparent frustrations between PlanningDoing (Mars) and Rebirth (Haumea) by maintaining our Curiosity about how Empathy with our Emotions (Chiron) will facilitate Rebirth.  Anxiety is after all a direct result of uncertainty about how to Plan and Do.  And Anxiety and Confusion are closet versions of Discouragement when viewed from the Perspective of our Need to Control or our Doingness.

Chiron is also Unx (Twelfth Harmonic or Pattern-Breaking) to Uranus-Eris, and also forms a Chaos-Square-Chiron-Quincunx-Haumea-Trine-Chaos Tricolor; Confusion between Unlimited Potential (Chaos) and Discouragement (Chiron) can be resolved through permanent Curiosity about how Rebirth (Haumea) can Change the way we experience our Emotions.  Lord knows Unlimited Potential can be as overwhelming as our Limiting Beliefs.

It’s a good time to review how Miracles happen.  A Miracle is simply an ordinary transaction that occurs in a different Time-Space-Concept Universe than the one we Live in.  If you parachuted into a ninetheenth-century desert encampment with a gallon of Pina Coladas, you’d be a Miracle.  Folks in the nineteenth century desert encampment would probably have the Concept of Pina Colada, but not the concept of parachuting.  Pick any chronic Limitation in your Life – Love, Money, Health, Pina Coladas, you name it.  Now think of ONE person who seems to have plenty of Love or Money or Health or Pina Coladas or Whatever.  If there is one person who Enjoys Abundance in your Limitation, you know it’s your Limitation.

That one other person Lives in a different Time-Space-Concept Universe than you do.  The Boundary between their Universe and yours, is your Limiting Beliefs.  Of course they may also be in Scarcity about something that’s Abundant in your Universe, so there may be layers of Boundaries.  All you need to do to Manifest Abundance in what you Lack, is to jump over the Boundary into their Time-Space-Concept Universe.  Of course Letting Go of your Limiting Beliefs is the same as Letting Go of your Karma.

And as our asteroid-hawk Elizabeth has advised, the asteroid Karma was Squared by Mars and only ten Arcminutes away from being Initiated by Uranus at the moment when Uranus was Stationary yesterday at 21 Aries, “A pugilist enters the ring.”  Which means Karma was Opposing Haumea and Unx to Chiron.

So what’s the easy way to jump from one Time-Space-Concept Universe to another?  Sit comfortably and call forth (if it isn’t there already) your Feelings about your Scarcity.  Then call forth a separate part of yourself to look back at the part of you that’s in Scarcity.  Have that separate part of yourself Empathize Lovingly with the part of you that’s in Scarcity.  “You poor Sweetheart, you’re really Feeling Frustrated [or whatever is True] about that, aren’t you.”  Put your arms around your Frustrated self and gently rock them, if they’ll let you.  They may want space – respect whatever they want.  Your job is to just be Present and Neutral, but Loving and Gentle.

Then Change the Subject – move your Attention to some other part of your Life.  Whenever your Frustration (or whatever it is) arises again, just quickly Empathize again, “You poor Dear, …” and move on to another part of your Life.  If getting lost in dwelling on your Lack would have helped, you would have gotten out of Lack a long time ago.  But dwelling on Lack manifests more Lack.  Empathy is like a PIAVA – you have to Change the Subject, then Pay Attention to what happens, without dwelling on your Lack. 

Keep a tally of how often you need to Empathize with your Lacking self, a list of dates and times.  Then, when you notice that it’s been a couple of days since you were last caught in that whirlpool, look to see what’s happened in the interim.  Whatever it was, it will contain information about your Limiting Belief.  Maybe my Scarcity was around Money, and once I was able to Empathize enough with my Fear that I could extract myself from my Anxiety tarpit for a while, I look back and notice that I had received good news about a job prospect.

That’s a pretty Direct message that my Fear is just that, Fear.  Not Fear about Money, but Fear.  So next time an issue arises, I won’t need to Empathize with my Scarcity, “You poor Sweetheart, you’re really Scared about that, aren’t you” but with Fear itself – “You poor Sweetheart, you’re really Scared, aren’t you.”  Period.  Shades of Monsters Inc.

Often the message will be more Indirect.  Suppose my Scarcity was around Love, and once I was able to Empathize enough with my Loneliness that I could extract myself from my mental helicopter trip about why Love was Scarce for me, I could look back and notice that I was surprised several times about how people respected me more than I was thinking that they did.  It might occur to me that it was my Self-Love that was short-circuiting me.  So the next time my Scarcity arose, rather than “You poor Dear, you’re really Lonely aren’t you” I could try “You poor Dear, you’re really not Loving yourself very much, are you.”

The initial anthem of Tapping, where you repeat your Tapping phrase three times while Tapping the side of your hand thrice, is parallel – “Even though I’m Feeling Scared about Money” or “Even though I’m Feeling Scared” or “Even though I’m Feeling Lonely” or “Even though I’m Judging myself.”  While it’s not Loving and Gentle Empathy, it’s Neutral and Present and an Honest statement of what’s going on, so it goes a long way toward Empathy.

One Response to “Confusion Is the First Stage”

  1. Joan Says:

    Very interesting…..thanks!

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