Walls and Sieves

A reader Wonders about the apparent contradiction in…

“That’s the Ego’s psychological function, to Defend, to keep the Vehicle alive and functioning.  And that’s exactly what needs to happen if Consciousness is to Expand – the Ego must Stand Down.  So anywhere you’re threatened or affronted or offended or angry or outraged or abused or disrespected or invisible or tempted to Act in Defense – that’s exactly where you need to be, because Choosing not to Act, not to mentally reinforce those Feelings, that’s precisely how you Choose to step off the Wheel.  Emotions arise from the Unconscious, the Ego does not Choose them.  But the mind has tremendous Power to reinforce them or not. 

“While a few thoughts of ‘Those Bastards’ will always slip through before we catch ourself, sooner or later we shift to ‘Oh, there’s that Irritation again!  I Wonder how I can get that thorn pulled out?’  Once we shift, we begin to Expand Consciousness, Grow the Ego, and change the Vicious Spiral of Karma into the Virtuous Spiral of Discernment and Grace… 

“In a.Karma’s “Discovery” chart, it’s Pallas that sits at the Midpoint of Leo: Boundaries.  As in Good Fences make Good Neighbors.  And as in, “You know, worst case these neighbors will probably end up doing less damage than the Sluggs, so maybe I can loosen that Boundary a little and see if it helps lighten things up.  Betternotbroken gives us some Perspective on Boundaries…

http://betternotbroken.com/2015/04/26/four-reasons-you-are-controlled-by-others/

“Karma is about Repetition.  My Reactions stream from the Unconscious, so I can’t Choose not to have them.  But I can Choose to be Curious about what Universal or Cultural Archetype I might be in the grip of here, or Curious about when I first encountered this Energy.”

In other words, am I advocating that this is a good time to set better Boundaries, or as our reader says, “Am I supposed to just ‘suck it up’ and not say anything?  Is my inner resistance … making the situation persist?  Will the [situation resolve] if I just try not to let it bother me?  If so, fine, I can work with it that way.  I really do want to ‘get it,’ because I sense a big opportunity for growth here.”

Which is an excellent question. 

Boundaries are always tricky.  One good approach is to move our Boundaries in 5% increments rather than 80% increments – when we can.  But Boundary issues are always so situational, that “rules” or even suggestions (other than “Pay Attention” to them) are never an easy Choice for the person setting or loosening the Boundary, and never something that a third party can Judge.  Also, Addictions and Abuse situations are special cases with their own parameters.

But aside from all this, and moving from Pallas back to the topic of a.Karma and Archetypes, we can say this…

When we’re in the grip of an Archetype, we’re unlikely to have access to all of our Present Moment Competence.  If we’re in the Present Moment, we have the Freedom to evaluate how to Act to best support ourself, and often “What other people think of us is none of our business.”  If I’m operating to please other people, then Who is home playing the role of Me?  I’m Supporting others, but who is Supporting me?  Yes, in a very sticky situation where we’re playing very complex Politics, we may have a Conscious strategy or tactic to please specific people.  But if we’re just Dancing with the Pleaser Archetype, then other people aren’t even involved – the only issue we need to work with is our own Insecurity.

And yes, I do suggest that our Discomfort and Confusion about when and how to Act to support ourself is more or less proportionate to the degree to which we’ve surrendered our Ego to an Archetype, which means in turn, the degree to which our Emotions erupt.  We are, in most cases, competent adults.  We have the Skills to handle most any circumstances, and the Skills to experiment with new ways of handling new situations as they arise.  It’s new ways of handling old situations that we want to Pay Attention to here, as this is how we Choose to Let Go of our own grip on the Archetype.  It’s never that simple, as after a while we may discover that our “new ways” are just minor revisions of our old Archetypal ways. 

But with a difference.  We did two things.  First, we Discerned or Noticed that we were on the Archetypal treadmill.  And second, we Chose what we believed was a new and different approach.  We’ve planted a new seed, and with a little Water and Nurturance, we can grow it into Expanded Consciousness.  The more we Notice, the sooner we Notice, and the sooner we Notice, the easier it is to Choose something different.  Archetypes and Karma cement themselves in place through Repetition.  The more we follow the Archetype, the more it swallows us.  Liberation is also Created through Repetition, but with Liberation, the more we Choose a new approach, the easier it is to Choose.  We just need to recognize that Karma is way ahead of us in reps, and be patient with ourself while we catch up.

It’s as if how we Chose to Act differently doesn’t matter – “Don’t get even, get odd.”  What matters is that we Chose to Act differently.  By following this thread we regain – or gain (since many of these Archetypes are embedded in our Culture and part of our programming since childhood) – access to more and more of our adult competence.  Acting “irrationally” is always a good Choice, since if someone is trying to Control you and you Confuse them, you’re ahead.  Being Honest and telling it like it is – including stepping the conversation up a notch or two, such as “I Feel Discounted” can be useful.  If the Contact is Valuable to you, this is probably your best bet, as it will rapidly inform you whether or not this person is capable of Honesty in return.

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