Testing Our Vulnerability to Fear: Portal 5.4

orchidsBorrowed from https://beinglynnpaterson.wordpress.com/2013/06/12/tantric-sex-with-an-orchid/

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Once a long while ago someone said to me…

“My Faith tells me that ‘this too shall pass.’  But you’re an astrologer – you know when it will pass.” 

Sometimes a Full Moon will be such a Passage, but often as not a Full Moon will invoke an Energy more than dismiss it.  In the case of an Initiation, though (and to some extent any Angle), it usually really is such a Passage, as the Energy builds till the moment of the Initiation, then drops off sharply.  There are more Details and Exceptions, but we’ll talk about those in a little while.  The Sedna-Mars Warrior with human scalps hanging from his belt Initiation (see below, however) occurs at 4am PDT May 4 (http://www.jbuss.com/tt/pdt4.htm), so we can expect our adventures with Fear to escalate till then.

Here’s a relevant story…

“Thirty minutes later I notice I’m feeling slightly edgy and I wonder if I’ve picked up some sort of negative energy or spent too much time on the computer.  I do a bit of energetic clearing and deep breathing but it doesn’t help and the edginess continues; it’s like an irritation I can’t stop, like a knocking on the door that is unanswered and the visitor knows I’m home so won’t go away.  I’m almost convinced now I’m under some sort of minor psychic attack so more clearing and ground exercises ensue but again, it doesn’t help and by now I’m feeling intense edginess and even beginning to feel victimised!

“In that moment I suddenly get an insight – it is someone knocking at my door!  I remembered from previous times when I had similar experiences and that once I stopped resisting, relaxed and allowed, I had felt an angelic presence that was trying to get my attention.  So taking a cue from that, I immediately stopped resisting the energy and instantly my experienced changed from edginess to excitement… like a quickening feeling through my body…  Closing my eyes, softening my body, relaxing into myself and allowing my awareness to drop deeply inside of me and set my intention to only be open to Divine Light of the Most High.  Inwardly I said “Greetings, who are you?”

“ ‘I Am the Over-lighting Deva of Orchids’ was the response.

“WOW!  My heart opened even more in response to the charm and delicacy of the vibration, tinkling in me like iridescent vortexes of the finest Light…  Oh such sweet ecstasy!  I can feel its curiosity!  In this moment I recognised that it’s a Divine Child of such purity and innocence, and it is achingly beautiful!  Such deep wisdom yet a lightness of being, of ‘knowing’ itself and its place in Creation – to feel even that is indescribably beautiful!  I was becoming undone.  It is so gentle too, and I was utterly captivated by this experience – such sweetness!”

https://beinglynnpaterson.wordpress.com/2013/06/12/tantric-sex-with-an-orchid/

Fear, recall, is the absence of Love.  On another long-while-ago occasion, I was writing about the Goddess late at night in my basement apartment, and felt – again – that I was being watched.  The curtains were closed, but I had the distinct feeling that someone was just outside the window, looking for a weakness.  I could feel the hair on my neck starting to stand up, and feel the tingling on my skin.  This time I took a deep breath, grounded myself, got up quietly, and moved to the door.  With one sudden movement I unlocked the door and flung it open, to surprise the intruder.  And She was right there, staring me in the face – the Full Moon.

As Marianne Williamson – and Dorothy Maclean – remind us, we do Fear Power, our own as well as that of our allies.  We never know what lies beneath our Fear, but the odds that it may be Blessings are high enough that it’s worth exploring.

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Mars-Sedna is a two-year Cycle.  Mars doesn’t loop at a constant speed, as it Retrogrades every 25 months or so, about the same length of time it takes to circle the Zodiac.  Sedna, however, is a loooong ways away.  At the moment it’s three times as far away as Pluto, and taking a little less than three years to travel one Degree!  The result is that the Sedna-Mars Initiations are walking us through the Zodiac, just about one Degree at a time.  That process began in 1864 with the first Initiation at 1 Aries, but since Sedna is approaching us, it’s speeding up.  In 1864 it was taking about four years to cover one Degree.  Since 2007 the Initiations have been one Degree apart.

But guess what!  There’s  been a reprieve!  We don’t remind folks enough that we always round Degrees up.  Twenty-four Degrees and 32 Minutes is the 25th Degree, not the 24th Degree!  I just noticed that I forgot to round up!  So we aren’t entering a Warrior-with-scalps Cycle at all – it’s the last two years that have been the Warrior-with-scalps Cycle, or we might say the Terrorist-with-severed-heads Cycle!  Taurus 25 is “A vast public parkinstead of a Warrior-with-scalps!  That’s certainly Good News!  Sorry for the Scare, though I guess it was just part of the Mars-Sedna drama – the Devil made me do it (or was it Pholus?).  I do find that errors are usually actually Intuitions.

So what’s scary about a vast public park, anyway?  Well, okay, not so long ago a cop shot and killed a twelve-year-old in a public park because the kid was playing with a gun-like object, and rather than render assistance to the dying twelve-year-old (or even verify that he was “disarmed”), the cop was busy manhandling the lad’s fourteen-year-old sister so she wouldn’t try to help her brother.  We do live in a fascist state; the police don’t make it their business to protect us, their business is to protect corporate interests.  So these days the molesters and muggers may not be our greatest Fear in a vast public park, though they certainly still have rank.

Taurus 25 is however the location of the Star Capulus, the sword of Perseus, symbolizing Ruthlessness.  So it could still be a dangerous Park.

But let’s talk about those Details and Exceptions that we mentioned.

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First, the Details.  An Initiation is just that.  So it should be that the Energy of the Initiation – in this case now a Walk in the Park, is just getting started.  And that’s true.  But after an Initiation the Energy goes underground.  The perfect example is Uranus-Pluto.  At the 1965 Initiation, Yintegrity was rampant.  But then it went underground, to arise again in the 2012-2015 Uranus-Pluto Square.  Once we get past May 4, the Walk in the Park Energy will shrink for six months (one fourth of the two-year Cycle) while the Warriors muster their strength for one more beheading.  Humans will do anything to prevent Change.

So as the Walk in the Park Energy gradually builds over the next six months, the Warrior-with-Scalps Energy will become harder and harder to maintain, until finally it falls away.  The Prior Uranus-Pluto Cycle, which Initiated in 1850, was about “A duck pond and its brood” – making it safe for the kids.  In 1965 the underlying Uranus-Pluto Energy changed to “A Ouija Board” – Magic is Afoot.  The Lawn Order folks were able to keep the Magic under control for a while, till it broke free as we approached 2012.  So the Warrior-Terrorists’ days are numbered.  We just have to remember “Hands Up – Don’t Shoot” when we’re Walking in the Park.  Unless it’s a mugger, in which case we need to shoot first, and hope it’s not an undercover cop.

An Initiation is a quite literally a Portal – beyond the Portal, the rules Change.  As Ursula says, “The rules change in the Reaches,” and when we pass an Initiation we enter Reaches that haven’t been Co-Created yet.  Astrology can say when any sometimes sketch out an outline, but Fate is an intellectual observation, not a property of the World.  We are all Co-Creating the Future as we go.  Moving through an Initiation-Portal, the rules Change.  As if it’s a different World.  One minute we’re Frightened by Warriors with Scalps, the next it’s the mugger behind the Tree in the Park that Threatens us.

We bring two personal characters to the Portals with us.  First, our Sensitivity, and second, our Resistance.  We’ll talk about our Resistance in the next section,  If we’re Sensitive, we pick up the new Energy before we actually reach the Portal.  If we have one-Degree Sensitivity, we’ll pick up on the new Mars-Sedna Energy Energy on May 3.  If we have three-degree Sensitivity, we started feeling it April 30th.  Muggles won’t pick up on it even after we’re through the gate; the new Energy won’t hit them till Mars Squares Sedna in six months.  In the interim they’ll still be fighting the last war. 

If you were born with planets in 25 Taurus (or Scorpio or Leo or Aquarius), or if Sedna or Mars was very Strong when you were born, you could have a long antenna and ten-Degree Sensitivity!  So while some of us are more Sensitive to some Energies than we are to other Energies, and some of us are more Sensitive to all Energies than others of us are, we won’t necessarily keep the same Degree of Sensitivity to all Initiations.

If you look at the World as astrology impacting us, you’d refer to it as “Orb.”  Looking at the World as us reacting to astrology, it’s Sensitivity.

To summarize, prior to the Initiation, our Sensitivity rules how much of an impact the event will have on us, and for how long.  After the Initiation, the flavor of the Energy is embedded in the Water under the bridge, even though the Frequency and Color of the Energy is still under Co-Creation, and Resistance to Change is at a maximum.

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And second, the Exceptions.  We inadvertently collaborate with the forces of the status quo to Resist Change with the best of them.  I left a section out of Lynn’s story above…

“I knew from previous experiences that it was important for me to trust in the moment and to leave any analysing until later.”

You see, while we might know that the Warrior Cycle too will pass, and when, we don’t know much about the Walk in the Park Cycle, because it hasn’t been Co-Created yet.  As far as we know, we’re just leaving our Comfort Zone and entering the Unknown.  Had it been Buffy the Vampire Slayer rather than Lynn, it might not have been the Orchid Deva at the door.  We forget that Fear plus Breathing equals Excitement, and habitually Fear the Unknown, and set our Boundaries against it.

Not only that, but since it’s Unknown and our analytical mind is obsessed with “Knowing,” we have to make things up.  Even though I wasn’t watching much TV news in those days, of course I expected it to be a prowler outside my window.  If I hadn’t flung open the door, I might have added extra locks or lights around my apartment instead, strengthening the bars on my birdcage and locking myself into my Limiting Beliefs more strongly.  And I wouldn’t have noticed that the Universe was answering my earlier Request to be more in touch with the Goddess!  Look how Bush and the his neocon cronies scammed us into Fear about daily Life after 9/11.  Lynn’s wisdom again…

“It hit me this morning, there’s nothing to be gained from thinking about what just happened.  I didn’t just think it, I felt it in the body.  It doesn’t help with the present, and it cannot help the future either.  I asked myself: What if you didn’t think over what happened and just let it pass?  Would you be disadvantaged in the future?  How does going over what happened actually help?  Can it make the present or future better or safer or make you better somehow?  If you didn’t think it over, what would you lose?”

https://beinglynnpaterson.wordpress.com/2014/11/03/post-mortemising/

We make Decisions, and those Decisions cement us into the status quo, long after the Present Moment has gone under the bridge.  We decide it’s not Safe, we harden our Boundaries, and we lock out the Goddess and the Orchid Deva.  In 1964 we Decide that the Powers That Be will never understand Yintegrity, so it has to be Us-Against-Them.  Because of that Decision we waste the next fifty years wallowing in Negative Politics rather than Learning Magic.  In 2013 we Decide that the Warriors must be eliminated, so we Drone them back to the Stone Age – creating whole generations of new Warriors in the process.  If we put half the Attention into not creating new Karma that we put into clearing old Karma, we’d be way ahead.

We do that by refusing to “post-mortemise,” by hardening our Boundary against the mind’s obsessive need for Answers, so we can maintain our state of Curiosity as long as possible.  Not Curiosity about “cause and effect,” Curiosity about what will happen next, about what hasn’t had its wave form collapsed yet, about how we can keep the Cat alive.  In this sense, the Alexanders have it right on – stay focused on What You Want, not on What You Fear or What You Don’t Want.  Denying Emotions doesn’t work – it just drives them into the Unconscious, where they find a friendly Archetype and take over your Life without asking permission.  So you can’t Deny Fear to focus on What you Want.  You have to Lovingly Empathise with Fear.  Then You the Witness, rather than You the Scared, can go back to focusing on What You Want.  That’s the Magic.

One other handy trick, taught to me by Jack Schwarz, rest his soul, that will be useful when we get scared while Walking in the Park.  Kegels.  You hit a 95-mile-an-hour fastball over the fence by being “in the zone” – by slowing down Time so relative to your eye and bat, the ball is actually moving at five miles per hour.  Literally.  Otherwise Babe Ruth would still be shaking the sting out of his hands.  And you slow down time by doing Kegels.  The scareder you are, the more Time slows.  Try it next time you’re watching an Adrenalin-burner movie, then see how long it takes to walk the two miles to the refrigerator.  It’ll make even the smallest park vast.

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