The Ides of May

proustite2067bpFor now we see through a glass dimly.  Red Crystals of Proustite – Silver Arsenic Sulfide – in a bed of sparkly Silver Crystals.  Arsenic as a homeopathic can heal the nausea we feel when we’re caught in internal conflict.  While the sparkling Silver may represent our Pride in following our Values, the Proustite beams out the heat of our Passion, muted by the poison of our Self-Judgment.

Before we get into this next event we want to talk about, we need to remind that the next three weeks is about Grace, particularly around our ability to dissolve what appear to be problems (especially people problems) by stumbling into just the right balance of Expansion and Contraction, or Focus and Diffusion that enables us to suddenly see the World differently.  For instance, suppose we’ve been thinking that someone important to us is upset with us, and we’ve been struggling to find a way to make amends or explain ourself or promise to do better next time.  Then we encounter them unexpectedly, and discover that they aren’t upset with us at all, it was just our own Guilt or Abandonment acting up.

In a Both/And Universe, Expanded/Contracted and Focused/Diffuse are not opposites, so it may not be about trading one for the other.  Keep in mind that finding just the right balance may involve increasing or decreasing both.  You may find yourself becoming more Focused and more Diffuse, or less Contracted and less Expanded.  There isn’t much doingness going on here; this is more sort of a dumb-luck kind of Grace.  So any time you notice that you’re trying too hard (or, trying at all!) lighten up.  We’ve been working pretty hard so far this year; we can use the break.

Jupiter, Saturn, and Chiron form a Grand Trine till the end of May.

Not that our Yintegrity work doesn’t continue.  But it’s shifting.  We’ll now be examining our Limiting Beliefs, especially any Beliefs and Values that inhibit our ability to Love ourselves Unconditionally.  It’s not so much that doing this work will trigger Grace; it’s more that the natural background of Grace here will make it easier to do this work, and make the Alchemy a lot more profound.  

Think about your Deepest Desires.  There are good reasons why you haven’t been pursuing them, because they conflict with your Deepest Values.  You have to reject either your Desires or your Values, or both.  Or what’s most crazy-making, rejecting first one then the other and back again.  This is “Unconscious Despair” – we don’t even conceive that it might be possible to co-create a Reality that has room for both, let alone one that celebrates both. 

Well, guess what.  “Conflict” isn’t part of the objective World, it’s part of the Observer.  Our understanding of our Deepest Desires and our Deepest Values is limited.  When we Focus on Expanding our understanding of both, life-changing surprises await us.  Our Desires and Values don’t change, though they evolve.  But our understanding of them will change drastically. 

When you contemplate your Deepest Desires, there is a moment of Joy before your yes-buts kick in and you settle back into mediocrity.  When you contemplate your Deepest Values, you will probably meet either Pride (if you feel like you’re following them) or Shame (if you’re feeling like you aren’t).  Both Pride and Shame are Ego, not Values.  Neither indicates that you’re following your Values, they just indicate that you’re looking in the mirror and you like or dislike what you see.  When you’re following your Values, you just unthinkingly do the “right” thing.  You don’t anticipate reward or punishment or acclaim or disdain, you just do it.

You might be thinking that Honesty is a Deep Value of yours, but maybe you’re only looking at Fear of being accused of something.  When you examine your Pride and Shame you can start to tell the difference between Values and Ego, and deepen your understanding.  There is no room for self-rejection here.  We’re speaking of understanding from the Heart, not by the Mind.  We aren’t talking about Forgiveness, but the experience will feel similar, as if you’re Forgiving yourself. 

Using our normal three degrees of Sensitivity, Jupiter has already moved out of its Opposition to Pluto, breaking the T-Square, though Jupiter and Pluto are both still Square to Uranus.  In other words, if you’re more Sensitive, you’ll still very much feel it, though its strength will be diminished.  If you made any Life-Limiting Decisions (“I’ll never do that again” or “I’m not like that“) during the Grand Cross or the T-Square, those will continue to grieve you.

But meanwhile, we have a new T-Square, as Vesta (what we regard as Sacred) has backed into an Opposition to Uranus and a Square to Jupiter.  So instead of a Uranus T-Square with Pluto and Jupiter, we have a Jupiter T-Square with Uranus and Vesta.  so the basic question becomes…

How can I Expand into Living my Own Truth without violating the Sacred?

Meanwhile, Uranus is Initiating Venus.  The crossing takes most of the next week, and peaks around 5pm PDT on May 15, at 15 Aries: “A Native American weaving a ceremonial blanket.”  The Venus-Uranus Cycle takes about a year, so while this Consecration is highly charged by the Opposition to Vesta (and further amplified by the Square to Jupiter), the real consequences will take 6-9 months to work through.

We could hope that some of our most morally corrupt “leaders” will be caught in their own lies as a result.  We can certainly expect that we’ll be Challenged to Master our own Yintegrity more deeply. 

For review, Yintegrity means that we trust our Intincts, while Yangtegrity means that we keep our promises.  Yintegrity means we keep our most fundamental promise to ourself – Self-Trust.  Sure, renegotiate and make amends when you can’t keep a promise (and it might help to think about it before you make a commitment), but Yintegrity is the bottom line.  It means we’re in synch with our own Soul.

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